# is it a culture problem?



## louisdavid (Aug 13, 2014)

Hello,

Im louis from Italian, sorry for Im not a native english but I ll try my best.

I met a filippina 9 month ago on a dating website. We did chat a lot, sometimes almost all the night and everyday. Quickly we did consider ourself in a long term relationship. Even if Im 23 and she's 34 we can have serious talking or silly talk, we both like to tease each other but only for fun...

She does running and kind of exercice 3 times/week. One day, after she came back to her training, I did tease her telling her that running is not really a sport. She know that Im really not into sport and so she did challenge me in sport when I ll be there. I told her that running is for women so she challenged me in wrestling. First I refused but after telling me that it's cause I'm scared I did accept.

Few days, week later, she remind me that we have a challenge and she propose a bet, looser ll cook a diner for the winner, I accept it of course.

Finally, I book my flight to meet her after 8 month chatting. I stay there only for 8 days. The 3 first days were great, we did move and spend amazing moment together. The 4th day she remind me that we have a challenge. I was hoping she did forget but no... Anyway, even if we have approximativly same height and even if she run Im confident I have more weight.

We prepare the room for the safety and we start. First, we both take it easy but quickly it became more intense. I tried my best to pin her but she defend herself pretty good. After few minutes, I start to be exhausted and running after my breath. Suddenly she raises her legs and wrap my head on her tighs. She smiles at me and ask "give up?". i tried to enlock with my arms but she squeeze and I did tapout. She laugh so hard and seems really happy. She said "now we know" and she did go to the bathroom.

After few seconds to recover I did congrats her. So I did cook for her and everything wwas ok. The problem is after that she start to be more requiring. She asked me to go shopping, well ok but when I arrive I propose her and she did refuse. She asked me to buy her a new phone, well im ok. She start to be cold with me. We did talk less, cause she prefered go to internet or on her phone... i did ask her what happen but she said nothing obviously. Since I did come back in italia Im almost the only one to call her. Before it was 50/50.

Im scared that *<Snip>* "challenge" ruin all and that she doesn't see me the same. She 's older than me and now I ask myself if see me as a kid and not a man or whatever. i don't know if on filippine's culture woman can't be "stronger" than her man or if I did miss something cause her behaviour with me are so much changing. I really dont want to loose her cause before we were so good together.

Do you have any idea of what happen?


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

Strange but entertaining story, the girl refused marriage "Thats strange"...seriously. The whole rough and tumble wrestling match is a bit bizarre also, she might not be what you think she is. So many questions but I fear not ask many of them in order to keep the conversation clean.


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## louisdavid (Aug 13, 2014)

Hi,

Well she didn't refuse marriage. We did talk about it before I come in phil and obviously she wanted to. But strangly, since Im back in Italia she didn't ask me again.

What do u mean by "she might not be what you think she is"?


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

louisdavid said:


> Hi,
> 
> Well she didn't refuse marriage. We did talk about it before I come in phil and obviously she wanted to. But strangly, since Im back in Italia she didn't ask me again.
> 
> What do u mean by "she might not be what you think she is"?


She could be already taken basically the wrestle match seemed a little bit over board also, so something of a Tom Boy, not real lady like, a soft wrestle match but it sounded like it got carried away like you said ...lol.


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## esv1226 (Mar 13, 2014)

I don't know what is - but it sure is not a culture problem. Maybe she expected you to be more generous with money. She asked for a phone, then she's asking you to shop. At 34, she knows what she wants from a man. Cool off and see what happens.


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## louisdavid (Aug 13, 2014)

mcalleyboy said:


> She could be already taken basically the wrestle match seemed a little bit over board also, so something of a Tom Boy, not real lady like, a soft wrestle match but it sounded like it got carried away like you said ...lol.


Im sorry Im not fluent in english I didn't get it. You mean a lady boy?Well Im 100% sure she's a real lady


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## louisdavid (Aug 13, 2014)

esv1226 said:


> I don't know what is - but it sure is not a culture problem. Maybe she expected you to be more generous with money. She asked for a phone, then she's asking you to shop. At 34, she knows what she wants from a man. Cool off and see what happens.


Well before I asked her but she did always refuse


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

louisdavid said:


> Im sorry Im not fluent in english I didn't get it. You mean a lady boy?Well Im 100% sure she's a real lady


Not a lady boy but a girl, it's a nick name here for a girl that likes other girls but some do date men also.


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## Gary D (Oct 28, 2013)

Most families seem to have a tom boy or bukla. One of my sister in laws is a tom boy and I definitely wouldn't westle her. She's built like a cababu and twice as strong. She also has a husband and child.


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## louisdavid (Aug 13, 2014)

Ow I didn't tought about that. 

Well I don't know she likes "girly" things like make up.

She's not an athlete but she seems to be really competitive if she has a challenge... For me, she's not built like a man but I have to confess she's stronger that what I thought...

So You don't think it can be a problem that if she thought she's stronger than me?


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## louisdavid (Aug 13, 2014)

Here's my baby


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Relationships*



louisdavid said:


> Ow I didn't tought about that.
> 
> Well I don't know she likes "girly" things like make up.
> 
> ...


I don't feel anyone could honestly answer your questions it's your relationship but there are some helpers out there, books on the Philippine culture how things work or don't work, other expats recommend, I've read a few chapters of it online it's very good and can teach you more about several situations its called "Culture Shock, Philippines" I've seen if for sale and some spots allow you to read it online.


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