# New girl on the block!



## kirbyw (Jul 10, 2011)

Hi All
My name is Wendy and I currently live in England. Initially I want to introduce myself and tell people in the forum how I am feeling right now about an imminent prospect of moving to NZ with my fab husband and 2 lovely girls. 

As you can imagine I have a million questions!!...but plenty of time for that I hope!! My husband is going through a recruitment process with a company in NZ and we are way off from a "Yes". However it seems to me that the more we take each step as it comes the more successful we are and suddenly its all becoming more of a possibility!

We want a good life, we work hard and play hard!!...although that is becoming less of a prospect in the UK for a lot of people and we are all having to tighten our belts!

We love our families and have brothers, sisters, mums and dads and sooooo many friends that we will leave behind!!...I can cope with most things but its the wrench of leaving them all...

Our families/friends say all the right things, "i would go tomorrow", "Life is too short" "This is your lifetime opportunity you cant stay here for us" etc etc...they would say that to me to relieve my conscience of trying to be there for EVERYONE!!

I want to give Mark, Grace and Tilly every opportunity in life to succeed and have a fulfilled life and if that means moving to NZ I would do anything for them.

Please could anyone especially women/families who have left family behind tell me how they have found life in NZ...are they happy, how easy was it to adapt, how often do they get home, does skype FB and twitter help...are people friendly out there!!??

When I read this post it just touches the surface but i hope you get my vibe in my very 1st post of many!
In anticipation
Much love
Wendle (that's what peeps call me )


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## topcat83 (Apr 16, 2009)

kirbyw said:


> Hi All
> My name is Wendy and I currently live in England. Initially I want to introduce myself and tell people in the forum how I am feeling right now about an imminent prospect of moving to NZ with my fab husband and 2 lovely girls.
> 
> As you can imagine I have a million questions!!...but plenty of time for that I hope!! My husband is going through a recruitment process with a company in NZ and we are way off from a "Yes". However it seems to me that the more we take each step as it comes the more successful we are and suddenly its all becoming more of a possibility!
> ...


Hi Wendie,
I've been here 5 years now, with my husband and youngest boy. The biggest wrench for me as leaving my elderly Mum and eldest boy behind - but for both of them, it was their choice. 

I found that one of the biggest helps was a 'book club' that a group of us ex-pats set up (I put it in brackets because the husbands call it the 'Wine Club with a Book Problem' - the only rule is you have to talk about the selected book for a half hour at least some time during the evening!). The 'Book Club' is our support network - we've made friends, can get advice about local facilities, businesses, etc, and have a ready made supply of babysitters whenever we need them (not me - mine's too old!). Some of the group have had hard times with family illnesses and deaths in their home countries, but_ none_ of them have gone home for good. Out of 20 families, I think that says a lot. 

Skype is a great tool - I love seeing my son on it. 

Obviously it depends on where you move to, but I'd say you could have a fantastic time here. You may not make mega-bucks, but we find the space, beautiful scenery and outdoor life makes up for it. It is what you make it. 

I still miss my son (and my Mum, who died last year) - but the son who is here has the kind of life he could only have dreamed of in the UK. He's a scuba diving instructor and technician. In the winter he dives one weekend and snow-boards the next!

I would never move back now.


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## kirbyw (Jul 10, 2011)

Hi Topcat

Thank you so much for your reply, much appreciated!...the book/wine club sounds just up my alley!!

Leaving loved ones in the UK and then just the chance that one day I may come return and my two lovely girls wont because they have made a life for them in NZ!!??

They are all what if's...but still hard to fathom when you have lived 20 minutes max, from family and friends all of your life! (44yrs)

At my best... I have always lived life that what's meant to be will be!...i think for me its my mum...who was diagnosed with FTD/picks disease (a form of dementia) in Sept 2010....she is deteriorating everyday and although my dad is her main carer i know he would miss me and my family dreadfully ...we are his light relief so to speak.

I have 2 sisters with family and I know that they will be there for them both, I guess when you are the eldest and the nurse etc etc you just assume that people cant cope without you!

Thank you once again for talking to me, its great to hear from people who have had similar experiences and lightens my heart!

warmest wishes
wendle


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## jenswaters (Jul 8, 2009)

Hi Wendy, and welcome to our forum.

I am quite different in terms of my family circumstances. I am 31, married, 2 very young children (and a 3rd due in 3 months), but am not particularly close to my family. I miss my Dad (VERY close to him) but I have always been the one to move away and try new things, so didn't have that emotional wrench of family overseas. I have lived in 3 other countries prior to NZ, so felt prepared for not being around my family (tbh, I couldn't wait to not be)!!!! However, I STILL get the odd bout of....I don't know what. It's not homesickness, not sadness...maybe nostalgia??? And I can honestly say that it is down to the fact it is so far from the UK. Yep, it is still only a day, but I think as my children grow up, and I teach them about different countries we have visited, I realise with a pang that "nipping to Greece" isn't an option! Yeah, there are other holidays places, like Fiji etc, but we are financially tight so couldn't go there on the annual family holiday. But that is us.

However, would I ever go back to the UK???? Not for a million quid!!!!! Family first, fun over money, and quality of life is the biggest draw for me, and we couldn't recreate that in the UK (others can, we couldn't). I am happy, my kids are beyond happy, we are all thriving, and for the 10 minutes in 2 weeks when I get those "pangs", it isn't worth even contemplating a return.

Just be prepared and open-minded to the fact that you WILL experience those low times...it is inevitable. But it does change 

Jen


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## kirbyw (Jul 10, 2011)

jenswaters said:


> Hi Wendy, and welcome to our forum.
> 
> I am quite different in terms of my family circumstances. I am 31, married, 2 very young children (and a 3rd due in 3 months), but am not particularly close to my family. I miss my Dad (VERY close to him) but I have always been the one to move away and try new things, so didn't have that emotional wrench of family overseas. I have lived in 3 other countries prior to NZ, so felt prepared for not being around my family (tbh, I couldn't wait to not be)!!!! However, I STILL get the odd bout of....I don't know what. It's not homesickness, not sadness...maybe nostalgia??? And I can honestly say that it is down to the fact it is so far from the UK. Yep, it is still only a day, but I think as my children grow up, and I teach them about different countries we have visited, I realise with a pang that "nipping to Greece" isn't an option! Yeah, there are other holidays places, like Fiji etc, but we are financially tight so couldn't go there on the annual family holiday. But that is us.
> 
> ...


Hi Jen
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Out of the 4 (hubby me and 2 girls) I am struggling! I guess yours are different circumstances as you say with regards to family ties back home and the silly thing is my time with my family here is more quantity rather than quality, so that also speaks volumes too!

Always been a bit of a home bird, the eldest daughter of three and a nurse...I am needed and I like it....most days!!...however my family are not holding me back and even if they didnt want me to go, you wouldnt know it! bless them.

I have a good job here but I have always been the 2nd wage earner and could not compete with my husbands salary....I have worked full time since i was 18 and now I am 44...i am told that i would not have to work!!,,,,,,not sure that will suit me at all...but would appreciate some time to settle the girls in if we came over.

dont think not working would suit me but being a house wife and mum for a while full time would be lovely!!

The distance seems vast and it makes me laugh when you say about popping to Greece from the Uk...we pop to portugal for a £30 2 hour flight with easy jet a few times a yr.....24 hours seems a long time to be travelling but with traffic in the uk it can take a very long time to get to the south coast in school hols and BH's!!!

schools worry me, grace is nearly 14 and doing so well, but is very keen to go to NZ, i have so much to find out about school and exam equivalent but i am keeping an open mind!!

Thank you for talking to me, it all helps thats for sure!

take care you
Wendle


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## jenswaters (Jul 8, 2009)

Well, you're speaking to the right person. I am a secondary school teacher over here. I have a thread at the top of the page about education in NZ, so you will find a heap of information there. 

Also, feel free to call me on Skype (my Skype name is on my profile). Chatting with someone is usually easier, and it REALLY helped me before we moved over 

Jen


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