# Money, Businesses, And Family



## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

seram said:


> English is the main language in all schools in the Phils so dont worry about that.
> 
> Your wife will start a small business with her brothers. That business will cost you more then you will budget for because the Filipina does not understand how to run a business. It will fail..It will be cheaper just to support your asawa and child without her starting a family business. Trust me.
> 
> ...


I would never set up a business involving ANY of the family. They have ZERO concept of business practices or a plan. 

I also do not recommend moving into the same locale as the family, as preached many a time on this forum.

Look into Subic. It's a 1 hour drive to San Fernando (1+ hour bus ride). You can keep in touch on your terms generally.

Otherwise you will be nickeled and dimed until you are broke, frustrated and screwed.


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

I think I made out pretty well family-wise but know they'd still take me down to my last dime. They'll always believe you're rich and are always getting more so think you can never run out...

Especially out in the province where otong is king. If you don't give nobody will buy...but if you give nobody pays it back...


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## zhaohongru (Jun 8, 2013)

LOL, I hear you brother. We have to firmly stand on our ground, practise to say "No" and always tell your partner you only make 50 cents if you are making a dollar.


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## oldretiredguy (Jun 30, 2013)

ditto ditto ditto on what most everyone said about business with family...What business with family means is that you have X-number of family members that now have a full time paycheck without doing anything.....Whatever inventory you have will be their personal stash -FREE of course. Even if she is not willing to allow this, it will happen anyway. She cannot fight her relatives on your behalf. She will lose. Cheaper to put her on an allowance and stick to it. But be ready for many many medical emergencies that require immediate additional funds to be sent. There is this strange disease that family members of women in the RP catch as soon as the woman attaches herself to a foreigner. Don't know what causes it but happens probably 8 out of 10 times. All illnesses seem to clear as soon as money is received, but reoccurs on a regular basis.


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## MikeynJenz (Oct 8, 2012)

Totally agree, whatever you give is not enough and they want more. On top of that what you give is then not so much of a gift or favor anymore but is EXPECTED every month. 

I don't have the worst of it with regards to her family, her dad is fine and has too much pride to ask (on the other hand her mother is the total opposite). One example would be that i buy her parents a sack of rice each month to reduce their food costs, though of course initially it was a one-off gesture that has now turned into a EXPECTATION each month.

I don't mind that so much as i do like to try and help if i can within reason, but now they are getting through the rice in quick time and expecting me to replenish it when it runs out. A sack of rice that was once lasting a full month feeding 6 mouths is now running out in 2 and a half weeks despite now only feeding 4 mouths in the family since two have moved out to start their own families.

Of course, the mother is handing the rice out to her other sons and daughters and nieces and the rest of the huge family whenever they come round and then complaining there is none left when it runs out. 

I dont get messed around easily and have let them know that if the rice runs out that it is their problem and i will only be buying the sack on the 1st of every month.

Also, about business and filipinos, yes they have no idea to run one. I have my own internet cafe and i now refuse to have any of her family work for me. I was a little naive when i first came here and wanted to help some of her younger brothers and nephews with a little bit of income from shifts in my cafe...BIG MISTAKE. Each of them i caught stealing, not logging customers and keeping the money and all kinds of other tricks in trying to get extra money.

Now i have non-family working and i have not had any problems...touch wood. Funnily enough now her family are all begging for another chance and that they need the money from working, my answer...you had your chance and you blew it.

Ahhh and how ironic that when i'm writing this my GF has just messaged me on facebook that her mum wants to 'borrow' money again. I wish they learned that the word borrow means you give it back.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

MikeynJenz said:


> Totally agree, whatever you give is not enough and they want more. On top of that what you give is then not so much of a gift or favor anymore but is EXPECTED every month.
> 
> I don't have the worst of it with regards to her family, her dad is fine and has too much pride to ask (on the other hand her mother is the total opposite). One example would be that i buy her parents a sack of rice each month to reduce their food costs, though of course initially it was a one-off gesture that has now turned into a EXPECTATION each month.
> 
> ...


The only 3 ways I have found to make the money issues go away are- If your wife or GF will force a stop to it. Or, move completely out of the country. The last way usually works well also. And that is by living a good two hours travel time from the family.
Personal safety is also a factor in cutting them off too. Depending on the blood alcohol level in some of them at any given time can put you in serious danger. Little consideration of consequences is given by many locals. So the more distance the better.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

MikeynJenz said:


> Totally agree, whatever you give is not enough and they want more. On top of that what you give is then not so much of a gift or favor anymore but is EXPECTED every month.
> 
> I don't have the worst of it with regards to her family, her dad is fine and has too much pride to ask (on the other hand her mother is the total opposite). One example would be that i buy her parents a sack of rice each month to reduce their food costs, though of course initially it was a one-off gesture that has now turned into a EXPECTATION each month.
> 
> ...


My wife has been the issue for almost a decade, she allowed the bad behavior to go on and on and I had to put a stop to it after a decade of putting up with it or wasting my breath on her, I left the house for a day twice just to get a break from the madness because nothing I was saying to the wife seemed to sink in or ever sinked in ...3rd time I packed my suit case and was saying good-bye I have had enough, my life can be better somewhere else, she stopped, thank God, we don't talk much to her family and many of them don't know were alive, we live right next to each other, I like it! It don't bother me anymore.


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## MikeynJenz (Oct 8, 2012)

Its completely backwards to how things are done in the western world in the Phillipines. Where as we grow up, raise a family, work hard and do all that we can to support our kids and leave them as best a nest egg when we do finally go, in the Phillipines it is the opposite.

People pop out loads of kids purely in my opinion to have them support 'them' when they get older. It is the way of life out here and if a son or daughter does not conform it is the guilt trips of 'we clothed you and fed you and this is how you repay us'. 

Nobody asks to get born and of course it is the parents responsibility to support their kids but to just have them as a future investment is wrong and it will never break the cycle of poverty in the country.

People are in general poor and can barely support one child through education, so to have five is going to be nye impossible. This just starts everything over again as none of them will get good jobs.

Of course, it goes far deeper than that with the poor welfare system, large amounts of discrimination for workers above a certain age and a lack of jobs...but im not even going to get started.


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## DannyA (Jun 9, 2013)

Two rules of thumb in Pinas.
Utang na loob is always one way traffic.
May I borrow loses something in the interpretation and means give me.


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## Phil_expat (Jan 3, 2011)

I give my wife a substantial allowance from that she is to help her family. I told her never ask me for money for them. I do buy her everything she needs except for cell phones since she needs to buy the latest one every six months! So far it works out pretty good. She sends them money monthly from her allowance. Problems have come after her purchases for electronic gadgets or excessive cloths purchases. I stick to my rule and say NO to more money.


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