# Spouse visa relationships age



## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Hello all hope you had a wonderful Christmas!

Is it an issue if I started my relationship with my spouse when she was under 18? I was 19 when I met her in 2015 and she was close to 17. Her 18th birthday was March 2017. And we married July 2017?
Thank you


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

Some people would wonder why a young man living in the UK marries a very young woman from Bangladesh, and would conclude arranged marriage?


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

I met her in 2015, returned to the uk and continued chatting to her and we fell in love with each other, so it’s definetly not arranged


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Clever octopus please can you help with this?


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

Why is this an issue with you?

If your relationship is genuine and you have evidence of this (history of meeting regularly, photos of you and she prior to, during and after wedding) then your application should not raise any doubts.

Your wife was 18 when she married (just).

Some might be surprised that in the whole of the UK there was not a suitable young lady for you.


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Thanks for your input. I met her in 2015 and only have 1 picture together in 2015. I have kept in contact via WhatsApp every single day since I returned. I have enough photos of us together since our wedding, I stayed with her for 2 months. Is this ok?


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## ILR1980 (Feb 5, 2016)

Crawford said:


> Some people would wonder why a young man living in the UK marries a very young woman from Bangladesh, and would conclude arranged marriage?


Arranged marriages are not illegal but forced marriages and age gap also dont matter as long as marriage is genuine

On topic i dont see any issue 

Legal age of marriage for women is 18 in Bangladesh while legal minimum age to enter into a marriage in England and Wales is sixteen years


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

That’s a great relief! Thanks ILR1980 for confirming. Happy new year to you and everyone on this forum! God bless you people for all the help you provide to those who struggle.


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## ILR1980 (Feb 5, 2016)

Sadike95 said:


> That’s a great relief! Thanks ILR1980 for confirming. Happy new year to you and everyone on this forum! God bless you people for all the help you provide to those who struggle.


Thx..Happy new year to you as well

If you read this VAF4A-Appendix 2 (section 1) then its ask question about relationship i.e when did your relationship begin, How/when you met? When you got married or whether it was/is arrange marriage etc ?

so fill this form correctly when apply

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/270484/VAF4A-Appendix2.pdf


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

Remember the Home Office assesses the genuineness of your relationship holistically, taking all available evidence into account. Age etc alone isn't a decisive factor (unless the relationship is deemed illegal or inappropriate). The visa officer needs to be convinced on the balance of probabilities that you have a genuine relationship, not a scam to get a visa.


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

thanks again ILR1980. 

Thanks Joppa. The only available evidence I have from September 2015 till July 2017 is our whatsapp chat's we used to communicate to one another. Is this enough evidence of a genuine relationship? I also have just one picture of us together with my family when I visited in 2015. Do I need to explain why I didn't visit her since our relationship? Our relationship started in 2015 December, we got married on July 2017.

Since we got married, I have countless photos of us together. 

Any input would be appreciated.

Thank you.


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

It's hard to say. Communications media aren't as good as hard paper evidence, such as travel tickets, accommodation receipts, government/public body letters/documents etc. Pity you didn't meet in person more often during those two years.


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

The reason why I didn’t visit her is because, in our tradition it is not considered “”normal”” to have a partner before marriage. Hence that’s why once I told my parents, flights were booked for the available dates so we can all travel together ( school holidays). What do you think would be best Joppa? I really don’t want them thinking its a marriage of convenience, it is 100% genuine but how would I prove that to the ECO? During that time, I have sent her gifts such as a phone, necklace, which I only have pictures of as I sent them to her with family members who were travelling to her country.


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

Can you call your marriage in any sense arranged marriage? Then lack of personal meetings prior to marriage will be understood. In an arranged marriage, parental involvement in the choice of marriage partner is crucial, such as why they thought it would be a good match, and so on.


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Joppa said:


> Can you call your marriage in any sense arranged marriage? Then lack of personal meetings prior to marriage will be understood. In an arranged marriage, parental involvement in the choice of marriage partner is crucial, such as why they thought it would be a good match, and so on.


It is a good point. This completely would change everything I have prepared so far for the application  So what would I do in terms of my cover letter, I have explained in my cover letter that I met my partner in 2015 and our relationship started in December 2015. Does that mean I don't show our chat screenshots from 2015?

Would I only provide evidence from the wedding date up to the date of applicatiion?

What would be included in the cover letter for arranged marriage?

Thank you.


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

Ironic that at my suggestion of arranged marriage the OP vehemently denied it was such, but now that evidence of a genuine relationship is minimal, proving that it is indeed an arranged marriage appears to be a viable proposition.

Even now the OP is asking how he proves such an arrangement to show genuine relationship.

One cannot help but feel sympathy for young woman caught up in this bizarre situation.


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## clever-octopus (May 17, 2015)

It would be advisable to provide letters from your parents (especially hers) giving consent to the marriage. As Crawford pointed out, this was indeed an arranged marriage, which may be allowable IF you can show that you are currently in a genuine and loving marriage with a view to a long future together. You will need to prove that your lack of pre-wedding relationship evidence is due to cultural reasons, and the best way to do this is by providing letters from the parents who were involved in this arrangement, and photos from them together with you at your wedding. You should also explain the timeline of your relationship as concisely as possible in your covering letter - Include how you met, how your parents/families were involved, explain why you did not visit often before getting married, the circumstances for your wedding (where, who attended, etc.) and your plans for the future together in the UK.


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Crawford said:


> Ironic that at my suggestion of arranged marriage the OP vehemently denied it was such, but now that evidence of a genuine relationship is minimal, proving that it is indeed an arranged marriage appears to be a viable proposition.
> 
> Even now the OP is asking how he proves such an arrangement to show genuine relationship.
> 
> One cannot help but feel sympathy for young woman caught up in this bizarre situation.


I know 100% that our relationship is genuine. Proving this to an ECO is somewhat difficult. This forum is here to get opinions from different people to help people struggling, such as myself. I appreciate all the help and advice I receive, especially from the likes of clever octopus and Joppa. What does the situation have to do with young women?


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

clever-octopus said:


> It would be advisable to provide letters from your parents (especially hers) giving consent to the marriage. As Crawford pointed out, this was indeed an arranged marriage, which may be allowable IF you can show that you are currently in a genuine and loving marriage with a view to a long future together. You will need to prove that your lack of pre-wedding relationship evidence is due to cultural reasons, and the best way to do this is by providing letters from the parents who were involved in this arrangement, and photos from them together with you at your wedding. You should also explain the timeline of your relationship as concisely as possible in your covering letter - Include how you met, how your parents/families were involved, explain why you did not visit often before getting married, the circumstances for your wedding (where, who attended, etc.) and your plans for the future together in the UK.


thank you so much! I will get on to amending my cover letter. My wife's parent's don't speak or understand english, how would I get them to write a cover letter the ECO understand's? Can I get them to write a letter in bengali and I provide a translation of it from someone who can read/understand bengali? or would I write them a cover letter and they sign?

thank you


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## clever-octopus (May 17, 2015)

It should be in their own words - If they write a letter in Bengali then it should be professionally translated into English


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

Sadike95 said:


> I know 100% that our relationship is genuine. Proving this to an ECO is somewhat difficult. This forum is here to get opinions from different people to help people struggling, such as myself. I appreciate all the help and advice I receive, especially from the likes of clever octopus and Joppa. What does the situation have to do with young women?


For example: a young 16 year old is introduced to a man for the first time. After two years, during which she does not meet him again, she is married to said man and then he moves back to another country. After another year, and the obtaining of a visa to live in the other country, she then moves to new country.

This is not bizarre in the 21 century? Most parents would be looking for their daughter to gain a good education, have a career and meet someone eventually under her own terms.

What is genuine about this 'marriage'? The fact that you are searching for proof of a stable loving relationship points to the iniquity of these situations.


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

She has entered this relationship on her own terms, do remember arranged marriage doesn’t mean “” forced marriage””. What is the difference between our relationship, and that of someone who meets someone a partner online and decides to marry him/her without even seeing each other? Love doesn’t always mean being close to each other, distance itself proves another type of relationship. In different culture’s it may be that you are allowed to have partners before marriage, but in our culture and religion if we do fall in love with someone, then we do so by entering marriage, hence why I never visited my wife. The legal age to wed in uk in 16, Bangladesh is 18. What is your point when you say she was only 16? Her parents obviously wanted the best for her, which Is why they consented the marriage for the happiness of their daughter.


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Thanks CO, I will get my in laws to draft up a letter.


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

Sadike95 said:


> She has entered this relationship on her own terms, do remember arranged marriage doesn’t mean “” forced marriage””. What is the difference between our relationship, and that of someone who meets someone a partner online and decides to marry him/her without even seeing each other? Love doesn’t always mean being close to each other, distance itself proves another type of relationship. In different culture’s it may be that you are allowed to have partners before marriage, but in our culture and religion if we do fall in love with someone, then we do so by entering marriage, hence why I never visited my wife. The legal age to wed in uk in 16, Bangladesh is 18. What is your point when you say she was only 16? Her parents obviously wanted the best for her, which Is why they consented the marriage for the happiness of their daughter.


Deciding to marry someone who one has not even met cannot be said to be a marriage based on mutual love, understanding and "getting to know" one another, so as to be able to decide that the other person could be the one for you.

You met your wife when she was 16, and never met her again until you married two years later. While you say that the age of marriage in Bangladesh is legally 18, reports from UNICEF and other agencies would show another picture regarding the number of young women who marry under 18 years of age. One might conclude that marrying your wife when she reached the age of 18, benefited her obtaining a spouse visa (minimum age for UK spouse visa is 18) rather than an age to marry in Bangladesh.

https://www.girlsnotbrides.org/child-marriage/bangladesh/


..... and finally, in the whole of the UK you and/or your parents could not find a suitable young woman for you to marry? ..... maybe in the UK young women from your background and religion are more interested in going to school, having a career than being a teenage bride?


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

We did meet and got to know each other for 2 months when I first visited. What would Be the difference between our relationship, and someone who meets online, without seeing each other face to face and decide to marry once they do meet?

The UNICEF report does show that a majority of the marriages in Bangladesh are underage. This only takes in to account religious weddings where the government or local council are unaware of the marriage. It is impossible to register a marriage in Bangladesh if the spouse is under 18. In terms of the minimum age of the spouse visa being 18, in 2011 the high court overturned a new rule the HO office made, which didn’t allow spouses under 21 to apply for a spouse visa. This was successfully overturned due to it being unfair to couples which are in a genuine relationship, which is the same case for me.

Finally, you say why I was unable to find someone in the “whole” of the uk. We all know their is someone for everyone, that doesn’t specifically mean the partner has to be in the same country as me. I wasn’t planning on going on holiday and starting a relationship, It’s something that evolves over time, as they do in every relationship. Their is nothing wrong with being a teenage bride as both parties consented and everyone’s is happy with the decision. Their is nothing wrong and illegal done.


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## Amd1 (Jul 23, 2017)

Crawford said:


> Deciding to marry someone who one has not even met cannot be said to be a marriage based on mutual love, understanding and "getting to know" one another, so as to be able to decide that the other person could be the one for you.
> 
> You met your wife when she was 16, and never met her again until you married two years later. While you say that the age of marriage in Bangladesh is legally 18, reports from UNICEF and other agencies would show another picture regarding the number of young women who marry under 18 years of age. One might conclude that marrying your wife when she reached the age of 18, benefited her obtaining a spouse visa (minimum age for UK spouse visa is 18) rather than an age to marry in Bangladesh.
> 
> ...


Oh wow Crawford (don’t take it wrongly ) but I think your being a little harsh! He’s 21 and already has a job meeting the financial requirements, most people are on benefit doing nothing! He’s trying I believe and it might sound weird about the relationship but what if it’s actually genuine? I understand your expressing your views on behalf of the UK system, but still...

I think Sadike95, you should do this application with a good lawyer/solicitor as it’s quite complicated. It’s sad as what Crawford is saying could be the same view the ECO will have in their mind when looking at your application. It’s better to be safe than sorry. It might cost a lot but it’s worth it. My lawyer says the ECO get over 500 application per ECO with only 40minutes to decide!!! #shocking I know.


Good luck


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Thank you AMD1 for your kind words and advice. It is only because our religion prohibits us having a relationship without marriage, hence why I was unable to see her as we wanted to keep our parents and family happy by following tradition. I will look around for a good solicitor but most of them don’t know what to do themselves! that’s why I believe these forums gets a overall view of what everyone’s opinions are. Clever octopus has advised it would be best to get cover letters from both families, is their anything you can advise on please in your own opinion?

Thank you


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## ithinkin (Jan 30, 2015)

Although some of the replies on this thread appear to be very personal, I would still prefer to hear it raw and 'how it is' than to get false expectation. 

If your wife was 18 or over at time of marriage, this is fine. 

Please don't keep using 'religion' as excuse as to why you couldn't meet. It was your choice to fall in love with someone under 18. 

Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Will it cause any issues the fact that we fell in love before she was 18?


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## Amd1 (Jul 23, 2017)

Sadike95 said:


> Thank you AMD1 for your kind words and advice. It is only because our religion prohibits us having a relationship without marriage, hence why I was unable to see her as we wanted to keep our parents and family happy by following tradition. I will look around for a good solicitor but most of them don’t know what to do themselves! that’s why I believe these forums gets a overall view of what everyone’s opinions are. Clever octopus has advised it would be best to get cover letters from both families, is their anything you can advise on please in your own opinion?
> 
> Thank you


I understand...I still think you should go with a lawyer, will send you my lawyers details on your message. They have over 30 years experience and they really good. They also charge reasonable. I don’t think you should do it on your own. But regardless I’m wishing you all the best.


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## Amd1 (Jul 23, 2017)

Sadike95 said:


> Will it cause any issues the fact that we fell in love before she was 18?


Not really. In my refusal letter it was a side note as I was 13 when we fell in love, but not a direct reason for refusal! My MP even said that’s not an issue, they just want to see that it’s really genuine after the marriage.


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

Amd1 said:


> Sadike95 said:
> 
> 
> > Thank you AMD1 for your kind words and advice. It is only because our religion prohibits us having a relationship without marriage, hence why I was unable to see her as we wanted to keep our parents and family happy by following tradition. I will look around for a good solicitor but most of them don’t know what to do themselves! that’s why I believe these forums gets a overall view of what everyone’s opinions are. Clever octopus has advised it would be best to get cover letters from both families, is their anything you can advise on please in your own opinion?
> ...





Amd1 said:


> Sadike95 said:
> 
> 
> > Will it cause any issues the fact that we fell in love before she was 18?
> ...


Please do send me your lawyers info. What was the reason for refusal if you don’t mind me asking? Have you managed to sort it?


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## nyclon (Apr 3, 2011)

A little perspective, people. It's a 2ish year age difference.


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## Amd1 (Jul 23, 2017)

Sadike95 said:


> Please do send me your lawyers info. What was the reason for refusal if you don’t mind me asking? Have you managed to sort it?


So just sent you the details. 

They refused as they claimed only have seen 9 photos and only 3 of the 9 photographs shows me and my husband together, when in fact they send our supported documents back to us and it had over 40 photos of us! 

My MP sent them a letter, done the appeal as the lawyer said they 1000% the decision would get overturned before hearing as its a clear mistake they made. They will address all this in some expensive “bundle” they have prepared to send the home office.


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## ILR1980 (Feb 5, 2016)

*Sadike95:* You should not care about moral police in here but should try to fulfil the requirements/immigration rules by submitting proper documentary evidences of marriage irrespective of whether it was arrange marriage or love marriage. I dont know why there is so much fuss about arrange marriage when its happening with consent of two adults . Pre-martial dating or affairs is not norm in certain culture where people dont live together prior to marriage to start this process of knowing each others to get fall in love so its perfectly fine to mention how you got married without exaggerating stuffs. Arrange marriages are not forced marriages because parent arrange marriage for their adult children after discussing with children and after taking their consent so you guys dont need to feel sympathy for either side 

Secondly my one cousin went for arrange marriage and met with partner just few weeka before getting marry and had mentioned on form that it was arrange marriage so he had no chance to interact with girl prior to engagement and had few interaction prior to wedding ceremony and get along well with her and they boht were happy with choice of their parent and he also ticked the arrange marriage option and had no issue of getting visa for her wife so be honest and mention things as they are happening instead of exaggerating romance or pre-martial affairs in hope of getting visa . Good luck


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

That makes a lot of sense and very re assuring, I will ensure I am am fully honest in my application, thank you so much for your help


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## ithinkin (Jan 30, 2015)

Sadike95 said:


> Will it cause any issues the fact that we fell in love before she was 18?


I'm not sure, never came across this before. But remember, arranged marriage is perfectly fine. 

Sent from my SM-G928F using Tapatalk


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## londoner007 (Feb 13, 2017)

When did you actually get married together?


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## Sadike95 (Feb 5, 2017)

londoner007 said:


> When did you actually get married together?


Married July 2017


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## charrison1988 (Apr 5, 2016)

What a judgemental person Crawford is. The relationship being discussed in this thread has absolutely nothing to do with him and does not require his 'blessing'.

The most ridiculous statement he made was:

"Some might be surprised that in the whole of the UK there was not a suitable young lady for you."

One could say the same about any inter-national relationship.


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## clever-octopus (May 17, 2015)

There's no need to dredge up a thread which hasn't been responded to in over a year just to express annoyance.


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## charrison1988 (Apr 5, 2016)

clever-octopus said:


> There's no need to dredge up a thread which hasn't been responded to in over a year just to express annoyance.


The emotion I intended to express was far more profound than mere "annoyance". It was outrageous behaviour. But I'll defer to your seniority and will not post again in this thread.


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