# Did you miss your family



## Conniejd (Jun 13, 2011)

and how did you deal with it? We are in the process of planning a move to the Lake Chapala area after we sell our home here in Michigan.

My only worry is that I will miss my adult children and granddaughter. Half of my kids think it is great and they will have a great place to vacation at very little expense and the others think that it may be a little selfish and we won't see them as often.

Did any of you experience this and how did it turn out for you? Do you think this is the reason for some to move back to the states?


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## DNP (May 3, 2011)

Conniejd said:


> and how did you deal with it? We are in the process of planning a move to the Lake Chapala area after we sell our home here in Michigan.
> 
> My only worry is that I will miss my adult children and granddaughter. Half of my kids think it is great and they will have a great place to vacation at very little expense and the others think that it may be a little selfish and we won't see them as often.
> 
> Did any of you experience this and how did it turn out for you? Do you think this is the reason for some to move back to the states?


Most people would suggest you rent before you buy. Is that you'd plan?


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

For many, the use of VOIP systems, even with video, solves the contact problem with the ability to chat and see each other as often as desired.
Others, as you have noted, enjoy hosting their children and grandchildren in a delightful climate, new culture, etc.
Some, on the other hand, have retired and moved away without a forwarding address.


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## m55vette (May 21, 2010)

My son realizes the world is a very small place and that you can fly to Guadalajara and catch a cab and be in Ajijic in a relatively short time. My daughter was not that open to the idea, she was upset. She is visiting with us in July, I'm hopeful she will understand why we chose to make Ajijic our retirement home once she experiences it. Selfish is a two way street, they make think you are selfish for going somewhere new, they are selfish by not letting you go. A lot of it has to do with the fear of not having you close in case of problems. Vonage and Skype can help.


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## Conniejd (Jun 13, 2011)

Thanks for your quick replies. We will rent for about a year to make sure we like it. Picked the Lake Chapala area because it is close to the airport. I think this will make things easier for our kids to visit. 

How often do you all fly to visit your kids?

We are overwhelmed to start the process of getting rid of our stuff and selling our home and vacation home. Our plan is to sell all and buy what we need down there. Just would like to get all the kids on board ,but maybe it will just take time.


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Once you move, and are settled, have a 'housewarming/family reunion party' and invite all your kids; making it hard for them to say 'no'. If they can all come, it will be a memorable experience for all. Give lots of advance notice, so they can coordinate vacation time & have enough time here to relax & enjoy. It can be catered very economically and even an hour of live 'musicos' won't break the bank. The only danger is that some of them won't leave!


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## DNP (May 3, 2011)

RVGRINGO said:


> ... The only danger is that some of them won't leave!


Yes, there is that too.


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## conklinwh (Dec 19, 2009)

Really expect that will be a mixed bag and a lot depends on how physically close that you were in Michigan. If you are the babysitter of choice and a very convenient backup, then you will hear stress. I'm not the babysitter kind. I love my grandkids and enjoy my time with them but they are my grandkids and that a real plus.
We have 4 kids scattered throughout the eastern US and all work so scheduling not easy. 3 have been here and love it. 4th thinks we are crazy so we tend to drive through her area on our trips north.
Not discussed but more pertinent to us is my mother in northern Ohio. She and my step dad lived alone till he died last year at 92. Now somewhat problematic as I am in Mexico and my brother in south Florida. This has increased our trips north with one emergency flight.


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## ted111 (May 29, 2011)

Conniejd said:


> and how did you deal with it? We are in the process of planning a move to the Lake Chapala area after we sell our home here in Michigan.
> 
> My only worry is that I will miss my adult children and granddaughter. Half of my kids think it is great and they will have a great place to vacation at very little expense and the others think that it may be a little selfish and we won't see them as often.
> 
> Did any of you experience this and how did it turn out for you? Do you think this is the reason for some to move back to the states?


Maybe consider buying a smaller place in Michigan and renting it out. This is a good safety net. You will always have a home at home. I know a lot of retired people who move away only to move back when more grandchildren come along or they miss family. In 5, 10, 15 years time could you afford to go back? Mostly though, if one of you gets a serious illness or (god forbid) dies, will the other be happy to stay or want to go back? Sorry to come across doom and gloom but having had some experience of these issues I would say think carefully. Live your dreams for you, but plan carefully or it could be a nightmare. Good luck and enjoy your retirement!


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## FHBOY (Jun 15, 2010)

*Grown Kids*

We are also moving to Ajijic in the first quarter of 2013, after our younger son gets married. Yes, the question has crossed our minds also. You see, we now live in Baltimore, where people are born, go to school, marry other Baltimorians, buy a home, have kids, have grandkids and die, sometimes never living more than 10 miles from where they were born. Many people. Some also live for their grandchildren after they retire, and I can see them happy in it...after all, what can you do raise cats? (But that's another story.) But there has to be more to life than that.

So we grappled with this, as we are sure our first grandchild will be born after we move...and you know what? I agree with the other grandparent. (S)He will be my grandchild, I've already raised my sons. We will fly back when he is born, and then Abuelo and Abuela live in Mexico, so our adorable grandkid can come and see us!

Also, and this sound bad on paper - really lousy really - I still have a bit of life left and after the years of giving so much (and getting so much in return), maybe it is time for my wife and I to be "for ourselves". Carly Simon or was it PP&M, I think, once wrote in a song something about if I can't be for myself then I can't be for anyone else ("I need me to be for me...then we can be for each other"). This is how we feel: we will become who WE are and that will be better for the whole family.

As to distance - you said it: Vonage, VoIP, Skype and airplanes make the distances and time shorter. Heck, if we retired to Arizona (God forbid) it would still take 6 - 8 hours for our kids to get there and vice versa. But try and explain that to a Baltimorian. And economically, the COL in Mexico will allow more discretionary $$$ for travel we would not have staying in the states - so we can visit.

How you handle separation is very individual - we have lived in so many places in our 37 year marriage, that "home" is not a place, but a concept - and if our "home" in Ajijic is inviting and loving, then I'm afraid our potential grandkids will never leave! Just kidding. Handling it? Did you ever go to summer camp? Think about it.


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