# Need Ideas And Suggestions - Please



## alen054 (Jul 10, 2014)

alen054 said:


> Thank you gary, my son is 2 1/2 years btw. Ive made a bit of research and seen that as my partner is a naturalized british then my son should automatically acquire that citizenship and you are right that we should register but as we are on this since I had my son it has affected us too much emotionally and yes I question that thing about him being straight forward to doing it but we tried to be together and spent a lot trying and that includes applying for a visa that got denied, which eventually turned frustratingly that I'd have to leave my son for 2 months and work back in Dubai, lucky to find a good job in the same industry that I left off but couldn't continue it coz we agreed that there will be options but not this way so I went back and quit my job again, My son is holding me back, and to be with him is a dream for me. He seemed confuse and afraid to loose more money and so cautious of making a move if it weren't sure which makes me want to do it all for us coz its starting to affect me not being able to be together when my son is suppose to be enjoying him and him enjoying my son, and us together, he's got background of depression and am afraid its whats holding him to make a move... my question is... do u think I can do it for us? the marriage thing we've tried registering and doing it but because of the distance and inability to make things happen it is weakening our relationship basically from my side as I have my son with me (amazing and lonely without a father) I need him to be with us but as we have spent so much and just recently was left with the situation apart.
> 
> How do you think I can help fix our situation and how much should I save to start with so as not to give him so much stress and what advise should I tell him to better our status.
> 
> IloveaFilipina, I can be a learning experience for you in the future


To give an update, 2018, I got my sons passport last year January 2017, yes he is british citizen in the passport happy days, but then my father died in April, after 3 months of receiving it. Also, to give an update about my son, by 3 years old he was diagnosed with autism. My son's British father, seems to have the same condition, as he has 2 other brothers who went through speech therapy, and one who have learning disability delay. So, autism seemed genetically. My latest problem is, I am alone in the Philippines dealing with the condition that is new to me, which may be more helpful if his family who is more experienced with the condition can help me with the upbringing of my son, He has such a lovely mom. And though with autism, as a father they have connection and similarities that may help each other grow and be happy. But right now, I dont know where to start given the condition that I allowed myself to quit my job waiting for all the miracles to happen with the moving to the UK as a family, focusing on taking care of my son, supporting all his Biritish Daddy's decision. But later on, his daddy's autism seems to start kicking in with all complaining and inabilities, depression, no job, etc. I have main concerns on getting back up hoping to help my family get up initially by going back to work, but how can I do that if I am to take care of a child with special needs. And eventhough I am still grieving for what I had lost, I cant seem to get emotional support from his side of the family and I am feeling a little bit stuck in the middle. Please I need some advice.! or should I make a new thread for my concern... ps. I am a filipino mother and would require a visa to UK.


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

I'm sorry to have to tell you but unless your British 'partner' can sponsor you for a visa for the UK then neither you nor your child will be able to live in the UK.

From the sounds of it your British partner is not able to sponsor you (he's unemployed) so, unless he has savings of 62,500 GBP then he cannot help you.

You say that you worked before your son was born. I would suggest that, if you have family in the Philippines, then you get a relative to look after your son and return to work.

I would stop hoping your boyfriend is going to be there for you.


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## alen054 (Jul 10, 2014)

Thanks for your reply crawford. I do understand that and I do agree with you. But, I must say I have gone through trauma and somehow still manageable depression. 3 years ago, when I posted on this thread I was full of eagerness and willingness. I was offered a job back then, and have sadly left my son 2 months to go back to  work abroad. But, as usual, working abroad can be dragging to the sorts of keeping your self legal in all aspect and be settled. I had started work but the visa was still in process. although, the receipt of the visa authenticates the sureness of the ability to stay, but still would have to wait a few days longer. When I spoke to his daddy, he convincingly asked me to go back home and move to Japan which I thought was a better Idea if we can do it together. That he will come home to Philippines, and if we can settle things move from there together. I thought the Idea was really good. Having to hold on to his words. I trusted it because he speaks to his parents all the time. I have spoken to his parents too. So I thought there was a blessing from them. That everything is going well. That got me to hope. And that's when I stopped with my eagerness to press forward to work. I thought, he is right, I should take it easy and focus to my son, who primarily needs my care, attention, and all focus. Until, everything else falls low. So, yeah. The situation is, my son who is mildly autistic is now studying in mainstream school and having therapy in a center, I just succesfully got him into the state of being healthy with weight and height and I have been looking forward that he maintains his happiness, that he dont get the negative feelings off me . But like I said, from highly confident person I was before with a good career in the media, all these knocked me off the ground, so low that I couldnt figure out how to get back up. My mom died when my son was 1 year old, and my dad died last year, and my brother moved on to his new house with his family. Relatives are difficult to rely on when you cannot afford to keep them and help with their needs. With all my son's financial needs, I had to live it tight, couldnt even send myself to the doctors, not even a chance with psychiatric help. Now, all turns out that when I try to communicate to him our situation, he sounded as if we are after his money when he has none, his parents covers up financing us, which basically puts me in the low. However, If I were to think of all the negatives that is going on, it will break each one of us. So I prayed and seek help at the church, and with the autism that is in this family. Somehow, I manage the inner peace but as you are aware, I cannot just rely it all to God. I should have to do something too. But the scenarios cannot help me think well. I would be very happy to read comments.


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## alen054 (Jul 10, 2014)

Crawford said:


> I'm sorry to have to tell you but unless your British 'partner' can sponsor you for a visa for the UK then neither you nor your child will be able to live in the UK.
> 
> From the sounds of it your British partner is not able to sponsor you (he's unemployed) so, unless he has savings of 62,500 GBP then he cannot help you.
> 
> ...


My child have received his british passport.


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

alen054 said:


> My child have received his british passport.


It makes no difference to your situation. YOU cannot live in the UK just because your son has a British passport.

Unless his British father sponsors YOU to live in the UK, your situation remains the same.


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