# Single older woman wanting to move to Mexico.



## Okiegirl (Feb 18, 2017)

Hello all. I am going to have a million questions for you good people but I think I need to give you some background so you know my motivation and level of knowledge about what the move will entail.

I have been in a long term relationship with a man whose job was moving him to Mexico City in July of this year and I was moving with him. I wasn’t too excited at first but then started researching and reading. Soon I was overjoyed with the upcoming move. As I had zero ability to speak Spanish I started to take a class. I was really really on board with not just moving – but moving to Mexico City.

Last month it came out my boyfriend has gotten a coworker pregnant. He has successfully requested his transfer not go through so he can be here for his baby, (even though he has a great 17 year old daughter already who can babysit.) It was devastating for many reasons. I broke off the relationship. The obvious reasons this hurts like heck were emotional but there were a lot of other regretful factors involved. I had not worked during our relationship and he supported me in paying a lot of my bills (his choice – he wanted 100% of my attention.) Plus, since I was moving in with him when he moved, I leased my house out. A coworker of his who is coming to work here in the US from England has a year lease starting in August. It would cost me an arm and a leg to get out of the lease. So, I have no job and no home to keep me here.

In addition, I have no family here and all my friends are either from my 24 year marriage or five year relationship so there is no one to stay here for. My heart and head are really into still making the move. And may I state, I am not running away from anything but running to what I have seen in my research about the country. I am thrilled to have mental stimulation of a new language and new experiences. I am a person who has always embraced differences and longed to live abroad since my youth. All the stars seem to be in line to finally allow me to pursue a dream.

My biggest problem at this point is his company was taking him through all the steps needed for our move and I am starting alone with zero knowledge of the upcoming processes. My first hurdle will be finding out if Mexico will even give me a Visa. I have no income to show them from the last five years but I own my house outright with no mortgage and it will bring a pretty penny. I will get rent for a year but then will sell it. I am hoping beyond hope that my assets are enough.

My second problem is exactly where to move to. I think it would be wise for me to spend a year or two in a heavy expat area while I learn how to deal with basic lifestyle changes. Lake Chapala is the place that always comes up in searches but I can’t believe that is the only option that isn’t tourist priced. After getting my feet wet, I would like to move to Mexico City. I live downtown Houston, TX right now and love big city life. I was raised in a small rural area and can do small but I really am a city girl at heart. 

So here are my first two questions:

1.	When should I start the visa process if August is my target moving date and are there any hints you have to help me with the process?

2.	What area would you recommend that balance cost of living/expat help/cultural integration?

Thank you all for taking time to read this. Take care.


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## lagoloo (Apr 12, 2011)

I think you should start with Senor Google to learn the requirements for getting a visa or go to the Mexican Consulate for this information.
Regarding your destination, the Lake Chapala Area is expat-friendly and close to Guadalajara with its big city advantages, including an international airport. Becoming fluent in Spanish is a good first step, no matter where you move.
Best of luck.


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

If you like living in big cities, you probably won't find Chapala very appealing. Guadalajara is nearby, but for me at least, living an hour away from a big city is nothing like living in a big city.

Have you considered coming to Mexico first on a tourist permit for an extended visit. It would allow you to get a feel for what some place is like or maybe even a few places without worrying about the red tape of going through the visa application process. At the end of 180 days you would have to leave and either get a new permit or apply for a visa, but by then you might be clearer on what you wanted to do for the long term.


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## RickS (Aug 6, 2009)

Sorry about your 'situation'.... but as you say, you 'have always embraced differences' and this move should do you good!

Yes I agree, go to the Houston based Mexican Consulate and find out exactly what your options are currently. If that doesn't look good one can still achieve at least for a couple of years, what you wish to do, by entering Mexico on a 180-day Visatante Visa (Tourist Card). Cheap. If, after 180 days you think you have found your 'place' but still cannot quite achieve a Termporal Visa, then just take youself back to the border, turn in your old 180 day visa and get a new 180 day Visatante (just stay 'at the border' for a day... don't just try to do a 30-minute turn-around). By the end of that 2nd visa and thus a year you will know a lot more and then can move forward as you deem appropriate.

As far as location... yes, there are other places than Lake Chapala but from the sounds of it you might need that kind of setting to get up to speed. If after a 'few months' there you still think you need the big city, then Guadalajara and its 6-8 million inhabitants is just 45 minutes up the road. One can 'get by' in Guadalajara without much Spanish it will just be a bit harder. And you will learn Spanish more quickly! There are 'pockets' where expats can be found in higher numbers but nothing like the concentration at Lakeside.

San Miguel de Allende is another small city where there is an abundance of English speaking folks. It is much larger than the Lake Chapala area (it is probably 150,000) and offers much the same opportunities. You will find it a bit more expensive (restaurants, etc) but is still affordable and to me much more 'vibrant'. 

Good luck whatever your choice!


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## lagoloo (Apr 12, 2011)

Good suggestions, Rick S. I originally suggested the Lake Chapala area, thinking much like you did that it would be a good place to transition. I didn't suggest San Miguel de Allende, knowing from 3 years' of living there that it is a pricier place to live. Mexico City is awesome, but there's "big city" and "gnormous" mega city.
The 180 day tourist visa is a good one, too.


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

I agree with the suggestions above, as it seems that a residence visa will be out of the question without a record of continual income or investment income proven for as long as a year. Once the house is sold, she will have that liquid asset, plus the record of a year of rent deposits into her bank account; which should qualify her for a visa.
In the meantime, Chapala centro would be ideal for her adjustment and language improvement, plus the easy access to the Guadalajara airport & direct connections to Houston, and other points.
To avoid having to drive to the border every 180 days, living as a pedestrian/taxi/bus user is suggested and is very doable in Chapala; or in Guadalajara if the big city attraction is that strong. However, having an available expat presence in the Lake Chapala area will be a definite advantage.
Once a residency visa is accomplished, the purchase of a car in Mexico becomes an easy task, if desired, as is enrollment in Seguro Popular medical program. Until then, I suggest keeping Medical coverage in Houston through the address of the house she owns. The same advice goes for banking.


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

RVGRINGO said:


> I…
> To avoid having to drive to the border every 180 days, living as a pedestrian/taxi/bus user is suggested and is very doable in Chapala; or in Guadalajara if the big city attraction is that strong.
> …


Just to clarify RVs comment: Without a car, you won't have to *drive* to the border every 180 days. You will still have to leave the country and reenter every 180 days however. If you bring a car on a tourist permit, the car as well as you have to leave every 180 days.


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## Me Linda (Jan 26, 2017)

This was your dream or his to move to Mexico ? 100% of your attention for 5 years ? You have had no separate identity from his for 5 years ? All of your friends for the last 5 years are really just his friends and not yours? But you are not running away? What is your profession? What do you want from life? Take a deep breath and think back to when you had a identity, a professional life, dreams of your own. Maybe your future is Mexico but first spend sometime living your own life, find your identity, your own friends, find a support group . I don't think moving to Mexico is the real solution to your problem. What if disaster hits and the person leasing the house doesn't pay the rent and you have no income and are in Mexico? Just take a deep breath, breathe and think this thru ? I am older lol and have some experience with divorce and separation. I wish you all the best and send this to you with all my experience.


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## lagoloo (Apr 12, 2011)

Me Linda said:


> This was your dream or his to move to Mexico ? 100% of your attention for 5 years ? You have had no separate identity from his for 5 years ? All of your friends for the last 5 years are really just his friends and not yours? But you are not running away? What is your profession? What do you want from life? Take a deep breath and think back to when you had a identity, a professional life, dreams of your own. Maybe your future is Mexico but first spend sometime living your own life, find your identity, your own friends, find a support group . I don't think moving to Mexico is the real solution to your problem. What if disaster hits and the person leasing the house doesn't pay the rent and you have no income and are in Mexico? Just take a deep breath, breathe and think this thru ? I am older lol and have some experience with divorce and separation. I wish you all the best and send this to you with all my experience.


I try not to make assumptions about the state of mind of someone I've never met. 
However, I've met quite a few expat ladies who did opt for the "geographical solution" to their relationship problems and I have to agree that it sounds like it's way too soon for her to be contemplating a move to another country. That's a tough adjustment for anyone, but even more so for an older, single woman. My advice would be to wait, heal, and get all the details and "what ifs" together first.

One of the most uncertain forms of income is rentals, and being a long distance landlord is a large "what if". Been there, and experienced some of the worst case scenarios.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.


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## Okiegirl (Feb 18, 2017)

Google is my best friend most days but I have found a lot of my research in this area to fall under two categories: official sites that are vague or personal blog info that is detailed but only good if your that exact person in that exact situation. 

I have been a forum fan for ages. I have learned more already reading these replies than I learned with my search so far. Thank you for responding!!!


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## Okiegirl (Feb 18, 2017)

My concern with 180 then 180 is I will be moving all of my things with me. It makes me nervous to undertake something so expensive and difficult on such short term windows. But, it will be an option I guess. Thank you.


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## lagoloo (Apr 12, 2011)

Okiegirl said:


> My concern with 180 then 180 is I will be moving all of my things with me. It makes me nervous to undertake something so expensive and difficult on such short term windows. But, it will be an option I guess. Thank you.


Here's one possibility that could be less stressful: Take only what you'd need if you rented a furnished place. Many home owners have a "casita" on their properties, often in a very convenient location. Some of those are real gems and fun to live in. Rents for a nice one usually run around 4000 to 6000 pesos, which translates into very reasonable rent in dollars. A friend has one with two bedrooms and access to the owners' swimming pool and lovely garden in an upscale neighborhood, for example.

Have a moving and storage company pack the rest of your treasures in the company's storage crates, ready to be shipped to you by the moving/storage company after you've found a permanent location that you like. Look up "menage de casa" for details on how that works. That's what I did, and it worked well.

Others have declared independence from most of their possessions and had an estate sale before they took flight. That works too.lane:


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## johnar (Jan 29, 2017)

Wow! I wish you all the best. It sounds like your mind is made up to move to Mexico--good for you! As others have stated, the 180 tourist visa is a given. Then you can decide where you really want to live longer term.
My wife and I are moving to Merida in April. After lots of research, we found that it would be a good transition, coming from Dallas, and it appears to be a beautiful Colonial city (of about 3/4 million). It's 30 minutes from beaches and there are Mayan ruins nearby, as well. It's got a very low crime rate--high on our list of attractive qualities--and the cost of living is slightly less than in the bigger cities.
You may want to use every website at your disposal when looking for where you want to live. We use Google, Wikipedia and Numbeo (for comparisons and lots of other information).
As for speaking Spanish, we're working on it for at least 2 hours every day. You can get by without and pick it up as you go, but it's always good to at least know the basics. We've traveled throughout Asia, alone and as a couple, and just look at it as an adventure--you can always get by if you stay in safe areas.
We wish you the best and good luck with your adventure!


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## johnar (Jan 29, 2017)

Ditto! We're selling everything that won't fit into 2 large duffels each. It feels quite freeing. The preparation is the the toughest thing, such as, digitizing all of our music, favorite DVDs and printed photographs.


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## Okiegirl (Feb 18, 2017)

Me Linda said:


> This was your dream or his to move to Mexico ? 100% of your attention for 5 years ? You have had no separate identity from his for 5 years ? All of your friends for the last 5 years are really just his friends and not yours? But you are not running away? What is your profession? What do you want from life? Take a deep breath and think back to when you had a identity, a professional life, dreams of your own. Maybe your future is Mexico but first spend sometime living your own life, find your identity, your own friends, find a support group . I don't think moving to Mexico is the real solution to your problem. What if disaster hits and the person leasing the house doesn't pay the rent and you have no income and are in Mexico? Just take a deep breath, breathe and think this thru ? I am older lol and have some experience with divorce and separation. I wish you all the best and send this to you with all my experience.


I'm a little surprised at this response. It does not address any of my questions and seems to pass judgement as to my ability to make sound choices. I have an identity, do not regret raising a special needs child instead of having a long term professional life, and have never lived in a way that was not in some way following my dreams. 

As for finding my own friends and a support group, I choose not to do that in Houston. This is a lovely city but does not challenge me anymore. 

As for disaster? What if a disaster hits me if I choose to stay here? What if I get bit by a rabid squirrel? What if I am nerve gassed by North Korean assassins? What if... I own my own home 100% and have amazing credit to where a short term loan would get me through any situation till the home can be sold. And as it is in the trendy inner-loop area of the city it wouldn't take more than a week or two to sell. My neighbors place went in three days with multiple bids. And why am I explaining this??? Oh yeah. Disasters. Been there - done those. When I did work, I owned and operated an emergency transportation company. I worked Katrina, Rita, and Ike. Losing a tenant because of a house fire would be a walk in the park. 

Finally, a move to Mexico is not a "solution to my problem." It is what I - a very methodical, sane, intelligent person - have decided to do.

I'm sure you were well meaning but talking down to someone and giving unwanted advice seldom go over well. And I wish you well too.


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## Me Linda (Jan 26, 2017)

I am very sorry ? I did not mean to talk down to you. Your very detailed personal story I thought was part of your story and you were sharing. I spent 17 years in social services and I responded as would have to even a dear close friend or relative that told me the story you shared.


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## Poolajet (Apr 25, 2014)

It never fails. I hope you keep posting about your adventures, okiegirl! I'm an older single woman trying to figure out where I want to retire. I have 6 years to go, and would love to live vicariously through you. I'm not a big city person. More nature, beaches, gardening. Anyway, keep posting!


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## rohbear (Feb 28, 2017)

I love this forum, just from the short time I've been a member. The compassion and intelligence of its participants is so heartening!

While I definitely can relate to the temptation to jump out of the frying pan, it's good advice, I think, to take a deep breath and sit for a bit. 

Regarding having rentals from long distances, that is exactly what I plan to do. However, I have a property manager who gets 10% of the rents and handles everything. I only approve repairs above a certain dollar amount and new tenants. Proceeds are direct deposited to my account. I asked my property manager if she has any owners who reside outside of the USA, and she said yes, and that they reply to her emails within 24 hours, often better than owners who live right in town. So it can be done. Certainly I am aware that if a major disaster struck (fire), I might need to return to the USA to deal with it, but fortunately I do have the means to do so. 

Good luck to you Okiegirl, you can get through this!


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## DiverSailor123 (Sep 17, 2016)

IIWY I would be reading the Yolisto Progresso Beach / Merida forums a LOT...Beach Yes Gardening Yep Nature Yep :rockon:


Poolajet said:


> It never fails. I hope you keep posting about your adventures, okiegirl! I'm an older single woman trying to figure out where I want to retire. I have 6 years to go, and would love to live vicariously through you. I'm not a big city person. More nature, beaches, gardening. Anyway, keep posting!


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

IIWY !!!!
Please stop doing that. Many readers are not part of the texting generation & still use whole words. Some even do so in multiple languages, where IIWY just doesn‘t translate.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

RVGRINGO said:


> IIWY !!!!
> Please stop doing that. Many readers are not part of the texting generation & still use whole words. Some even do so in multiple languages, where IIWY just doesn‘t translate.


Using texting language such as IIWY (what on earth does it mean??) also goes against Forum Rule #6: 

"All posts on this site must be in English. Non English language posts *including abbreviations like text speak* are not permitted on the forum."


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

Thank you all these abbreviations drive me crazy, I speak several languages and it is hard enough to keep all the regular vocabulary straight without having to figure out the abbreviations !!


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## circle110 (Jul 20, 2009)

IIWY = "If I were you"

I had to look it up as I have to do from time to time with these post-texting-era acronyms. I don't mind looking them up, but on a forum like this where a decent percentage of the posters don't speak English as their first language I agree that it's not good form to use them.


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## surabi (Jan 1, 2017)

Between the texting terms and the English language becoming overtaken with baby talk (selfie, onesie, hoodie), it's getting hard for a literate person to make sense of half the stuff that's written these days.


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

You‘re correct with your comment and you have recognized that the days of yore were a better time to learn English. It is quite a disturbing sight to see this site deteriorate in quality with texters who cannot cite the true meaning of their abbreviated and truncated writing.
Oh well.......I couldn‘t resist.


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## Okiegirl (Feb 18, 2017)

The way this got off track made me wonder if a place like Lake Chapala that has a large retirement community actually would be best for me. While I'm in my mid-50's, I appreciate changes that younger generations bring and I am determined to keep up. While it is true, back in the day, English was different, it necessarily wasn't better. The bees knees? And acronyms are not new to the "texting" generation. In my field of healthcare, they have had a prominent place for a long time. QQH is "every four hours," and the acronym has been in use a long time as it was originally "quarta quaque hora." 

Learning new things is one of the reasons I want to move to a different culture with a different language. It is my way to battle with brain retrenchment. But I also want to keep fresh with with changes in my own culture. This includes changes in language. Whether I like it or not, these changes are unstoppable. "Back in my day," when I got cash I went to the bank and spoke to a teller. If I went and stood in front of an ATM, no matter how many times I ask nicely, I would not be able to get three $20's, three $10's and four $5's. Adjusting to changes with a good attitude appears to me to be better than trying to force the world to stand still. 

One of my favorite acronyms or text speak is TIL. It stands for "today I learned." My TIL for today is I might not be ready to live in around a group of people my age that resist change brought about by time. For now I must bid you fairwell. I have to go RSVP to a TGIF party that is BYOB and find my OCD dog who seems to be MIA


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## surabi (Jan 1, 2017)

Okie girl, your attitude is admirable, to want to keep up with the times. But, I think the point is that on a public forum, the intention is to communicate information, and not everyone understands those acronyms. It's fine if you're texting with a friend and you both know what it means.


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## AnneLM (Aug 16, 2016)

Okie Girl, Despite RVGringo's reference to the "texting generation" it's not necessarily a generational thing or resistance to change. As others have noted, non-English speakers might not use the same acronyms. And some people---of all ages---move to Mexico seeking a different pace of life and different types of personal interaction. (To what degree they find it, and how much Mexican culture has embraced texting, etc, is another topic.) So please don't judge those who prefer non abbreviated prose as a bunch of old fogies. We just want to be sure everyone here understands each other.


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## Poolajet (Apr 25, 2014)

Thank you! I'll check it out. If I can find it. Ha! I was in Merida once and did not fall in love. But I'll poke around.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

I deal with artisans many of them indigenous and everyone is texting via whatsapp or at least the semi literate ones, and as many are almost illiterate, understanding the texting in poor Spanish can be really challenging but I can assure you that the Mexican culture has embraced texting.

Merida is a nice place to visit, when I looked for a house there in the center I was depressed by all the sidewalks outside..lots of asphalt without any trees and a nasty humid heat. The parks are nice to look at but I would like to see grass once in a while. Some of the burbs have greeen grass but then you are away from the center and in the car you go... As I said I like to visit, like the culture but do not care for the sidewalks without trees, the lack of greenery and the unbearable heat..
The ruins are nice but how may times are you going to go there and as someone who turned 70 I find than climbing all the ruins are a real pain and not to my liking any longer.

Okiegirl , if you really want to keep your brain going why move to Chapala where you do not need to speak Spanish?, Pick a place where you have to speak Spanish and text in Spanish you will be able then to see how much fun it is to live in a foreign culture.


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## GARYJ65 (Feb 9, 2013)

Okiegirl said:


> Google is my best friend most days but I have found a lot of my research in this area to fall under two categories: official sites that are vague or personal blog info that is detailed but only good if your that exact person in that exact situation.
> 
> I have been a forum fan for ages. I have learned more already reading these replies than I learned with my search so far. Thank you for responding!!!


Whaterver you decide to do, you will be just fine!
If you come to Mexico, count me in for information and as a contact for whatever comes up.
Regards!


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