# UAE Marriage Contract (local + expat)



## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

I have been trying to find anything related to my question, but I couldn't, therefore I am making a new post.
My husband -to be - is local. I am from Cyprus. The marriage contract must be signed. My husband -to be- agrees to add on the contract anything I feel it should be there .... 
I would like to put that in the case of a divorce, he agrees the kids to live with me until they are 18. (Under condition I will stay in the UAE)... opinions ? 
I will put about my rights to work, as well.
Somewhere I read that I should put the amount of gold that is to be received before the marriage (to keep it in the safe box and use it if the things go bad) - anyone has the idea what is the amount of gold to be requested ? 

And please don't waste your time and my time by judging and stating the one should enter the marriage with the full trust, because when the things go bad, we cannot even trust our own brothers and sisters.

If you are in my shoes, or you are familiar with the marriage contract, please advice me. It will take a few minutes of your time, but for me it can impact my whole life.

Thanks !


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## Racing_Goats (Sep 5, 2015)

Maybe you need to speak to a lawyer who deals with UAE family law for advice regarding your contract, my (very limited) understanding is the law is hugely biased in favour of the husband especially where parental rights and children are concerned.


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## Stevesolar (Dec 21, 2012)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> I have been trying to find anything related to my question, but I couldn't, therefore I am making a new post.
> My husband -to be - is local. I am from Cyprus. The marriage contract must be signed. My husband -to be- agrees to add on the contract anything I feel it should be there ....
> I would like to put that in the case of a divorce, he agrees the kids to live with me until they are 18. (Under condition I will stay in the UAE)... opinions ?
> I will put about my rights to work, as well.
> ...


Hi,
You can put what you like in a pre-nuptial contract - but if things go wrong, everything will be in favour of your husband, if he is a UAE national - that's the law here.
Best of luck
Steve


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

Racing_Goats said:


> Maybe you need to speak to a lawyer who deals with UAE family law for advice regarding your contract, my (very limited) understanding is the law is hugely biased in favour of the husband especially where parental rights and children are concerned.


Thank you, that is actually a good idea. The only question is should I just go to any lawyer randomly from the Internet ...
If you have one to recommend, please do.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

Stevesolar said:


> Hi,
> You can put what you like in a pre-nuptial contract - but if things go wrong, everything will be in favour of your husband, if he is a UAE national - that's the law here.
> Best of luck
> Steve



I guess you are right in general, but the law is strong here, so any small thing mentioned and signed in the contract can make a difference later.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

And it's not pre nuptial contract, it is a contract that MUST be signed by both parties. The only optional thing is to add something on it or not. And here is where my question comes from ...


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## Stevesolar (Dec 21, 2012)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> And it's not pre nuptial contract, it is a contract that MUST be signed by both parties. The only optional thing is to add something on it or not. And here is where my question comes from ...


Hi,
I suggest you do some research and seek proper legal help.
Interesting article to support my earlier posts:-
Non-Emirati mothers should not be granted child custody to ‘protect national identity’ | The National
Cheers
Steve


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

OK, I will have a look, thanks Steve. 
In any case, I cannot give up on him because of that ... We have been together almost 3 years and we have been through A LOT as u can imagine ...


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## The Rascal (Aug 6, 2014)

"She flies with her own wings", interesting user name. 

Speak to this person, she's a criminal lawyer but will be able to introduce you to people you need to draw up the agreement.

Good luck.


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## imac (Oct 14, 2012)

islamic marriage is actually a legally binding contract on both parties and is not the same as a civil marriage, so there are many things you could potentially put in there to safeguard your interests - provided the clauses do not violate shariah...

as such, you may put in a clause relating to custody of children in the event of a divorce, but depending on how it is phrased and its contents, it may or may not be enforceable... only clauses which are within the foundation laid out by shariah are valid...

you do need to speak to either a lawyer who specializes in family law, or to start off with you could even try to speak to an imam and get his advice...

this document is more to do with how islamic marriage is treated in the usa, but as a general guideline will give you some high level concepts of what can be included in an islamc marriage contract

http://www.peacefulfamilies.org/wp-..._Produced.By_.PFP-API.Institute-BWJP_2012.pdf


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## imac (Oct 14, 2012)

Stevesolar said:


> Hi,
> You can put what you like in a pre-nuptial contract - but if things go wrong, everything will be in favour of your husband, if he is a UAE national - that's the law here.
> Best of luck
> Steve


under islamic jurisprudence, each marriage itself is a legal contract between the parties within the confines of shariah, and what she is asking about is the contents of that contract - its not the same as the concept of a pre-nupital contract (or a prenup as its usually called)...

just like any other type of contract, parties may put a wide range of items in the marriage contract that are enforceable under shariah - provided, just like regular contracts, they do not violate the law...

people are vastly ignorant about islamic law - its not the boogeyman most people make it out to be... simple example - most people from the west do not know that under shariah law, the man is obligated to financially support his wife and family from his own income, but if the wife has her own income, she has no such obligation... her money is her own to do with as she wants...

another thing people don't know about - in the case of divorce, shariah courts take the best interest of the child as the primary consideration when deciding custody cases, and in almost all cases rest the custody of the child with the mother, until and in a lot of cases, beyond the child turning 12... 

and in the cases where they do revert custody of grown children to the father, its usually because the ex-wife either already has, or intends to, remarry... and the reason for that is, under islamic jurisprudence, only the biological father has the right of parentage over his progeny... which is the reason why you cannot adopt a child in islam (and by that, i mean adoption as it is defined in the west)...


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

The Rascal said:


> "She flies with her own wings", interesting user name.
> 
> Speak to this person, she's a criminal lawyer but will be able to introduce you to people you need to draw up the agreement.
> 
> Good luck.


The Rascal , thank you so much for your suggestion ! I have been reading about the amazing battles they are fighting !! I don't know why I haven't thought of her ...
Thanks again, you lighten up my road !


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

imac said:


> Stevesolar said:
> 
> 
> > Hi,
> ...





imac said:


> Stevesolar said:
> 
> 
> > Hi,
> ...



Thank you for taking your time to explain these essential things I wasn't fully aware of ... Now I have clearer picture of the marriage contract. Previously I have read that under Islamic law, a kid can not be given to the mother if she is of other religion than her child. I am Christian and my children will be Muslims ... According to your explanation, I wouldn't be able to add the item about their custody in the marriage contract because it goes against the Sharia law. This is only from my common sense after reading your post, but who knows maybe there is a window to it .... 

You seem very well informed about the marriage contract, would u mind writing down for me some of the things that are (according to your opinion ) imporant to be mentioned in the marriage contract ?

Thanks again


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## imac (Oct 14, 2012)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> ...under Islamic law, a kid can not be given to the mother if she is of other religion than her child. I am Christian and my children will be Muslims ... According to your explanation, I wouldn't be able to add the item about their custody in the marriage contract because it goes against the Sharia law...


correct as per my understanding... 

the reason for that (as i understand it) is, under shariah, faith of the children is the fathers responsibility, and children of a muslim father are muslim (actually muslims believe that at birth, all children are born muslim regardless of their parents faith)... and a logical conclusion would be that in case of a separation, if they were to remain with a christian mother, she would want them to grow up christian... but despite this, the christian mother of sound mind who commits to raising the children as muslim could still get custody of the children until they reach puberty, at which time custody would fall back to the father...

in any case, the other party would still have the right of visitation regardless...



AlisVolatPropiis said:


> ...You seem very well informed about the marriage contract, would u mind writing down for me some of the things that are (according to your opinion ) imporant to be mentioned in the marriage contract ?...


i'm not actually... my understanding is pretty basic...

but i would think the important aspects would be around things such as obligations while you are married, as an example, that you will be free to seek employment, financial items, any specifics in case of a marriage breakdown, the equal right to terminate the marriage by you initiating it if required etc...

as others have also said, talk to a lawyer, but before that, you may even just want to talk to an imam... they will be infinitely more knowledgeable about this... and the fact that you are christian will not hinder you from approaching one...


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

Thank you, imac, you have been very helpful!


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## Visp (Mar 23, 2013)

I'd add that your dowry has to be kept in a bank account outside the country that is only in your name (if it's here, the money will be moot in the event of an acrimonious divorce because he'll find a way to freeze the account). Also, see if you can add something about him not being allowed any other wives without your approval.

Also, bear in mind that if you do divorce and stay in the country you'd better be okay with not having any male friends, let alone dates, as your husband (or some random member of his family that doesn't like you) might up and decide to call the police on you for immorality should you be found in the company of an unrelated man.

So, basically, it's not like you're getting married in Saudi, but be aware that you are taking on some huge risks that can't be mitigated, even with a contract. That being said, a life without any risk is a life that's dull. Congratulations and good luck.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

I concur with Visp.

Even post divorce you should be aware that to retain custody of your children you will most likely need to remain single and not engage in the usual dating activities and so forth. Just going out for drinks only in the company of a man can be used as evidence by the ex-husband that you are an unfit mother. 

Note what Imac said: "but despite this, the christian mother of sound mind who commits to raising the children as muslim could still get custody of the children _until they reach puberty_, at which time custody would fall back to the father... 

That means at approximately age 13 the ex-husband could demand full custody. If he has evidence that you are doing something a proper Muslim woman shouldn't be doing, such as dating, or contemplating remarriage to someone who isn't a Muslim, or an Emirati, the courts will most likely award him the custody should he demand it. 

Every now and then there's a major story about custody disputes and it rarely (if ever) ends with a happy conclusion for the non-Muslim partner. Some years ago there was a British mother in Bahrain who had a son from a marriage to a Qatari (who had died) and when visiting the boy's grandparents in Qatar, the boy was literally seized from her and given to the Qatari grandmother to raise. He was 10 when it happened. It probably didn't help that the mother had remarried a non-Muslim British man. 

I do not intend to scare you but you should be aware of how limited your options are if there is a divorce and what the constraints are should you want to keep custody of the children. If you follow the strict book laid out by Sharia law, you will probably be ok, but any deviation from that path will work against you. It's not like a divorce in Europe. 

* If the marriage sours and it's clear there's no happy way forward, the best thing to do is to go back to Cyprus unannounced with the children and never return to the UAE and divorce from afar.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

Visp said:


> I'd add that your dowry has to be kept in a bank account outside the country that is only in your name (if it's here, the money will be moot in the event of an acrimonious divorce because he'll find a way to freeze the account). Also, see if you can add something about him not being allowed any other wives without your approval.


Both of the things u mentioned are something I didn't think of, but in fact very important ...
I guess that I should have one bank account in my country where I would need regulary to deposit the money, instead of keeping it here ....for just in case ....

Today we had the conversation about the contract, I mentioned to him the idea of adding -the right to be employed - he looked at me and said : "But, u r not going to work!" ( and he was the one who was admiring me of being capable to achieve things at my work) However, I stayed calm and said that a small part time job wouldnt harm me and bla bla. He didn't comment afterwards. 
Basically, marriage can impact some men in a way that they may start being over possessive. After today's conversation, I actually felt good about doing my research on -what to add in the contract- even though previously I felt a bit guilty for exposing my private life in public and seeking advises from strangers. 

Yes, the second wife approval I like ...


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

Visp said:


> That being said, a life without any risk is a life that's dull. Congratulations and good luck.


I like the way u closed your post. At the beginning while I was reading it, I had heavy breathing and at the moment I read about the life being dull without taking any risk - I felt such a relief ... !  
Thank you Visp for your reply.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

TallyHo said:


> Some years ago there was a British mother in Bahrain who had a son from a marriage to a Qatari (who had died) and when visiting the boy's grandparents in Qatar, the boy was literally seized from her and given to the Qatari grandmother to raise. .


What a sad story for the child and the mother ... The moral of the story : once you leave , u need to destroy all the bridges ....


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

TallyHo said:


> I concur with Visp.
> 
> Even post divorce you should be aware that to retain custody of your children you will most likely need to remain single and not engage in the usual dating activities ... If he has evidence that you are doing something a proper Muslim woman shouldn't be doing, such as dating, or contemplating remarriage to someone who isn't a Muslim, or an Emirati, the courts will most likely award him the custody should he demand it.


How difficult it would be ! I don't mean dating, but generally I am thinking of all the activities in life that may involve men. For example, I play indoor volleyball since I was a child. Here we meet with the group 3 times a week , mixed -men and women . Basically it means that he can use my my volleyball trainings against me in order to gain the custody ... Because, "a proper Muslim women wouldn't be playing volleyball with the guys" - as u said , right ? 

Or should I add in the contract that I should be allowed attending my volleyball trainings with the mixed group???
I know it sounds funny, but I am seriously considering it now after reading your post. 
So in the case of divorce, he cannot report me for doing the activity, he agreed upon our marriage .... Right ?


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

TallyHo said:


> * If the marriage sours and it's clear there's no happy way forward, the best thing to do is to go back to Cyprus unannounced with the children and never return to the UAE and divorce from afar.


Yes, yes and yes. As the last solution. 
The only problem that I may face is : I will not have my Cypriot passport, after accepting the one from the UAE.. Or I can travel with that one and take a new one in my country ( if possible as I believe some documents may be exist about me giving away my passport and accepting the UAE ) ... If I don't get my passport, I wouldn't be able to get one for the kids, as well, I guess. 
By the way, where would I be able to find out about these , any idea ?

Thank you TallyHo for taking time to reply on my post.


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## Racing_Goats (Sep 5, 2015)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> Both of the things u mentioned are something I didn't think of, but in fact very important ...
> I guess that I should have one bank account in my country where I would need regulary to deposit the money, instead of keeping it here ....for just in case ....
> 
> Today we had the conversation about the contract, I mentioned to him the idea of adding -the right to be employed - he looked at me and said : "But, u r not going to work!" ( and he was the one who was admiring me of being capable to achieve things at my work) However, I stayed calm and said that a small part time job wouldnt harm me and bla bla. He didn't comment afterwards.
> ...


The more comments and replies you add I can't help thinking that maybe you're not prepared for the reality and all the implications of becoming an expat bride to an Emirati - no matter what a contract says or your partner agrees to now, once you're married you will lose a lot of the independence and self determination you have now, or as much of it as your husband chooses to forbid..

Good that you're doing your research and discussing with your fiance now, I hope it works out for you.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

[/quote]
The more comments and replies you add I can't help thinking that maybe you're not prepared for the reality and all the implications of becoming an expat bride to an Emirati - no matter what a contract says or your partner agrees to now, once you're married you will lose a lot of the independence and self determination you have now, or as much of it as your husband chooses to forbid..

Good that you're doing your research and discussing with your fiance now, I hope it works out for you.[/QUOTE]

Thank you for your comment . 

I am fully prepared for this marriage, and for the reality of being an expat bride to an Emirati .... -The reality which is in my head. 
What I am afraid of is the reality for which I am ignorant ...
In my country we need to worry to whom to get married, and not being concerned what to put in the contract. And here is where my ignorance comes from. 
I wasn't aware of this type of contract, it is my husband who told me a few days back to think whether I wanna add something. And he was very serious about it.
I wish I have local friends who could advice me in this matter, but I don't. His sisters or mother will not help me for sure, so i didn't even bother trying to talk to them about the contract. 
I am trying to be as much detailed in my answers as I can, so people can get the real picture and being able to give a better advice.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

How can I delete double and triple posts that I made ? ?


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## imac (Oct 14, 2012)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> ...What I am afraid of is the reality for which I am ignorant ...
> In my country we need to worry to whom to get married, and not being concerned what to put in the contract. And here is where my ignorance comes from.
> I wasn't aware of this type of contract, it is my husband who told me a few days back to think whether I wanna add something. And he was very serious about it...


that's actually the primary difference between a prenup and an islamic marriage... the pre nupital contract does not actually make you married, that has to be done as a separate distinct event... either in a religious or civil ceremony... in other religions, you are considered married when the priest declares that you are now in union of matrimony... in islam, the physical act of signing the marriage contract is what binds you in matrimony...

a mixed faith marriage is not easy, it takes an enormous amount of work, patience and understand on the part of both partners... it is an understatement to say making a mixed faith marriage work is significantly more effort than a same faith marriage...

but there are many couples who manage it successfully... i personally know of many such couples... for many of them, religious affiliation is just a label and they do not actively practice their faith...

but there are also those who do actively practice their faith, either one or them or both, and what i have observed works for them is that they have actually spent time learning about the other faith and what their partner considers important.. 

that is, they made the effort to find out about their partners faith... none of the ones i know have converted their beliefs, but knowing more than just the basics has actually helped them to be more understanding and respectful to the other's belief's... specially when it comes time for family gatherings around religious holidays...

i don't know if you actively practice your faith, but considering your future husband is muslim - and the cultural outlook as well as the fact that in this part of the world, religion is more a way of life and not just a set of rituals - you may want to look into islam in a little more detail than just trying to figure out what to put into the contract... 

don't misunderstand my comments, i am in no way encouraging you to abandon your faith, but as others have said, know what you are getting yourself into... because you are not just marrying him, you are marrying yourself into a way of life as well...


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## pictz (May 6, 2012)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> Racing goats,
> 
> Thank you for your comment .
> 
> ...


[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]

As imac said in his post, you need to do not only a good search on what to put in the marriage contract but how your life will be. I would add also that you need to have a very open discussion with your fiance on your expectations and his expectations. The fact that he is already telling you that he doesn't want you to work will definitely be a problem if that is not your intention. If you add in the contract that he can't prevent you from working and he does it, it just serves to speed up or justify a divorce in front of the judge (from my understanding, maybe someone knows more about this). Without wating to be pesimistic, here if a husband that doesn't want you to work is because this way he can control you and will have full power over your life. My husband (local) has always encouraged his sisters to study and get a career to be independent. The life of those who just sit at home can be a bit tough sometimes as it will all rely on their husbands will. Some of those husbands will be kind and loving but some others not. 
Going back to the marriage contract, I don't think you can put anything that would contradict sharia 's law, for instance reading custody of the children but as they mentioned before you can consult with an imam or lawyer. In the contract they will also add how much dowry he should give you and the monetary compensation in case of divorce (don't remember the exact name). For the dowry I think that officially is a max of 20000aed, but the compensation can be anything that you both agree. Even though the dowry officially has a maximum, there is brides that ask for more but in my opinion I don't think is a good start for a couple to ask for an amount that would force the groom to get a loan. Maybe I'm too naive in this sense. Reading the gold, don't remember including an exact amount in the contract. In our case (but I think is rare) we went together to buy the gold and I choose the pieces I wanted. I think is something you need to speak about and see how much he is willing or can offer you. Anyways, remember that he needs to agree with whatever you put in the contract. You can pm if you have more questions.


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## Racing_Goats (Sep 5, 2015)

It hadn't occurred to me before but even as a UK husband and wife living here I had to supply a NOC to my wife's employer so she could work. If your husband doesn't want you to work now or in future, it's that simple.


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## SummerGlow (Jun 18, 2013)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> Both of the things u mentioned are something I didn't think of, but in fact very important ...
> I guess that I should have one bank account in my country where I would need regulary to deposit the money, instead of keeping it here ....for just in case ....
> 
> Today we had the conversation about the contract, I mentioned to him the idea of adding -the right to be employed - he looked at me and said : "But, u r not going to work!" ( and he was the one who was admiring me of being capable to achieve things at my work) However, I stayed calm and said that a small part time job wouldnt harm me and bla bla. He didn't comment afterwards.
> ...


Ah, a lot of alarm bells ringing right there. Basically he told you straight you will not be working after marriage and he means it just did not want to get into argument about this.
Have you met his family? Do they accept you? Family will tell you a lot about how your life is going to be like after marriage. If none of his female family members are working it is very likely the same will be expected of you. Also, did you discuss where you will be living after marriage? Families here like to stay together, so clarify that prior to marriage.

I am not trying to scare you, but by the sound of it you know very little about the local customs and how things work here. I doubt putting any conditions in the contract will change anything to be honest, he is a national and he will have an upper hand in everything pretty much.


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## thrillHOUSE!! (Oct 19, 2015)

To quote the French national motto you are giving up your "Liberté, égalité, fraternité", which millions of people have died to protect. I have many opinions which i won't express here, but more than happy to in PM.

Anyway, on a pure financial point, make sure you have a bank account not in the UAE, not in your future husbands name (don't ever make him aware of such a account). Deposit money regularly in to that account. Request in the contract he has to pay for a flight home once a year. Maybe even a house in Cyprus, again not in his name. 

Make sure everything you own is in your name, even gifts. Demand it to be in your name. Never ever allow him to have a 2nd wife. 

Good Luck.


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## Racing_Goats (Sep 5, 2015)

Whilst there's good advice here at some point there must be a line between being careful and planning for an expected future break up - only you can know how you feel and whether it's worth the chance and most likely some sacrifices.

The only part that I imagine could be very very difficult to deal with is re custody of children if it ever came to that. As others have said, good luck and it sounds like you need to be having very honest discussions with your fiance about every aspect of your planned life together and all possible eventualities.

If he's not willing to discuss now, when he wants you to marry him, and give you the answers and reassurances you need, surely he won't later if anything was to change.


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## rsinner (Feb 3, 2009)

Racing_Goats said:


> Whilst there's good advice here at some point there must be a line between being careful and planning for an expected future break up - only you can know how you feel and whether it's worth the chance and most likely some sacrifices.
> 
> The only part that I imagine could be very very difficult to deal with is re custody of children if it ever came to that. As others have said, good luck and it sounds like you need to be having very honest discussions with your fiance about every aspect of your planned life together and all possible eventualities.
> 
> If he's not willing to discuss now, when he wants you to marry him, and give you the answers and reassurances you need, surely he won't later if anything was to change.


The discuss on this thread feels like a business transaction rather than a marriage! 

OP gather all ideas about the contract and then have an open discussion with your fiance. If you can't have an open discussion with him on these then you should be worried about what you are committing yourself to - remember this is for a lifetime (hopefully).


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## pictz (May 6, 2012)

rsinner said:


> The discuss on this thread feels like a business transaction rather than a marriage!
> 
> OP gather all ideas about the contract and then have an open discussion with your fiance. If you can't have an open discussion with him on these then you should be worried about what you are committing yourself to -, remember this is for a lifetime (hopefully).


Yes, could sound like that but you need to take into consideration the country's traditions. Traditionally all marriages were arranged marriages so families discussed on detail the conditions of the marriage. Now you have different marriages but there are still many aspects of the marriage that are discussed between families and so inclosed in the marriage contract.


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## thrillHOUSE!! (Oct 19, 2015)

Out of curiosity, have you met his family?


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## pictz (May 6, 2012)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> Yes, yes and yes. As the last solution.
> The only problem that I may face is : I will not have my Cypriot passport, after accepting the one from the UAE.. Or I can travel with that one and take a new one in my country ( if possible as I believe some documents may be exist about me giving away my passport and accepting the UAE ) ... If I don't get my passport, I wouldn't be able to get one for the kids, as well, I guess.
> By the way, where would I be able to find out about these , any idea ?
> 
> Thank you TallyHo for taking time to reply on my post.


Forgot to mention on my previous post that you are not obliged to change your nationality if you don't want. You have the right of doing so after having kids and few years of marriage but it's not mandatory. Also, to obtain the uae passport you would need to convert to Islam so it's one more thing that you need to consider.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

thrillHOUSE!! said:


> Out of curiosity, have you met his family?


Yes, last year. Nobody was happy, although they were very polite. But, he was pushing me to meet with them often, (which I didn't enjoy much at the beginning ) and it worked out well. Of course it helped A LOT me speaking Arabic (have studied it at the university) , because his mother doesn't speak any English(she is a simple housewife type of a woman) and his father speaks very little English. Brothers and sisters, brothers in law and sisters in law are different story ... To make a long story short, we meet with some of them every week, with others once per month. But, it's not that "shiny" relationship with all of them, more of respect and distance. Even among themselves they are not in so warm relationship. Not all of them, of course. What bothers me generally is that education is not their strong side, as I am coming from the opposite background. 
Hope I satisfied your curiosity.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

thrillHOUSE!! said:


> To quote the French national motto you are giving up your "Liberté, égalité, fraternité", which millions of people have died to protect. I have many opinions which i won't express here, but more than happy to in PM.


I love the quote ... so true. Please do PM me, I would love to hear your opinion.
Thank you !!!


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

imac said:


> don't misunderstand my comments, i am in no way encouraging you to abandon your faith, but as others have said, know what you are getting yourself into... because you are not just marrying him, you are marrying yourself into a way of life as well...


Misunderstand? Not at all! I read very carefully every your comment and it gives me very different view on the situation. 
I do appreciate every your comment, and of all the other members who replied.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

pictz said:


> Also, to obtain the uae passport you would need to convert to Islam so it's one more thing that you need to consider.


Are you sure about it ? This is very shocking piece of information .....


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## pictz (May 6, 2012)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> Are you sure about it ? This is very shocking piece of information .....


Yes, quite sure. Anyways, as laws can change often here, you can double check. But from my knowledge, knowing Arabic was not a requisite (although obviously advisable) but being Muslim yes.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

pictz said:


> As My husband (local) has always encouraged his sisters to study and get a career to be independent. The life of those who just sit at home can be a bit tough sometimes as it will all rely on their husbands will. Some of those husbands will be kind and loving but some others not.
> Going back to the marriage contract, I don't think you can put anything that would contradict sharia 's law, for instance reading custody of the children but as they mentioned before you can consult with an imam or lawyer. In the contract they will also add how much dowry he should give you and the monetary compensation in case of divorce (don't remember the exact name). For the dowry I think that officially is a max of 20000aed, but the compensation can be anything that you both agree. Even though the dowry officially has a maximum, there is brides that ask for more but in my opinion I don't think is a good start for a couple to ask for an amount that would force the groom to get a loan. Maybe I'm too naive in this sense. Reading the gold, don't remember including an exact amount in the contract. In our case (but I think is rare) we went together to buy the gold and I choose the pieces I wanted. I think is something you need to speak about and see how much he is willing or can offer you. Anyways, remember that he needs to agree with whatever you put in the contract. You can pm if you have more questions.


Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It's the first time to hear from someone who is married to a local. 
Yes, every person is a different story, it sounds great that tour husband is encouraging his sisters to be independent. On the other side, my (future) husband doesn't do it .. i mean the family is more traditional, most of his sisters don't work and he is OK with that. 
Anyway, thank you again and you will get my pm soon


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

SummerGlow said:


> Have you met his family? Do they accept you? Family will tell you a lot about how your life is going to be like after marriage. If none of his female family members are working it is very likely the same will be expected of you. Also, did you discuss where you will be living after marriage? Families here like to stay together, so clarify that prior to marriage.


Yes. And yes. I learnt a lot about him by meeting his family, but we didn't go into discussion with the family about how our life will be when we get married. Yee will be staying in the separate house from them. Thanks God. 





SummerGlow said:


> I am not trying to scare you, but by the sound of it you know very little about the local customs and how things work here. I doubt putting any conditions in the contract will change anything to be honest, he is a national and he will have an upper hand in everything pretty much.


I agree with you on this ...


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## SummerGlow (Jun 18, 2013)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> Yes. And yes. I learnt a lot about him by meeting his family, but we didn't go into discussion with the family about how our life will be when we get married. Yee will be staying in the separate house from them. Thanks God.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Just be cautious and discuss everything prior to marriage. While you are still engaged there is room for discussion, once the knot is tied things unfortunately can be different. Speak to him honestly about things that are bugging you, as trust me issues wont go away by themselves ( ive learnt this the hard way). If in doubt, postpone the wedding until you clear all your concerns.


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## AlisVolatPropiis (Oct 18, 2015)

Yes, that's true, everything must be cleared prior to marriage.
I am so glad I asked for advice here because not only I got the better sight into the marriage contract, but I got the material that should be discussed before the marriage.

Thank you, SummerGlow !


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## pictz (May 6, 2012)

AlisVolatPropiis said:


> Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. It's the first time to hear from someone who is married to a local.
> Yes, every person is a different story, it sounds great that tour husband is encouraging his sisters to be independent. On the other side, my (future) husband doesn't do it .. i mean the family is more traditional, most of his sisters don't work and he is OK with that.
> Anyway, thank you again and you will get my pm soon


I guess the question you need to ask yourself is if you would be ok with that too. And the best way to see how your life will be is to see how is the life of his family. As others have mentioned, in this culture family is extremely important and probably you'll spend lots of time with them (even if you don't live with them)


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