# Living with my BF, trouble?



## NYCtoDubai (Dec 4, 2013)

Hello, 

I'm moving next week to Dubai as my BF is being relocated there. We are not married so obviously I have some concerns about what to say when asked. I'm looking for a job in Fashion (my field) and I'm unsure when interviewing if I should say Im relocating and living with my boyfriend. 

Do I lie and say we are married? 
Do I say I just decided I wanted to live in Dubai, so here I am? 

I'm not into wearing a fake wedding ring but I'm worried prospective employers may not hire me if they find out we will be illegally living together. I know Dubai is more relaxed with this law, but how relaxed? 

HELP! Any advice that will ease my mind is greatly appreciated!! 

thx!


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

It's not really an employers business to ask if you're attached and what status that attachment is.


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## Canuck_Sens (Nov 16, 2010)

I cannot in good faith advise you how to get by with your wrongdoing and not even how to handle a situation because of that.

There are some here in the forum who walk in your shoes and may be able to offer a different perspective.

Why don't you have your BF to write me ? would he be ok with it ? If you have 5 posts you can also pm me.

There are several threads in this forum about this topic. It is a contentious topic. I for example would not expose my partner to "uncertainty" and there are certain remedies that you could use.


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## NYCtoDubai (Dec 4, 2013)

*Tenancy Agreement - Residency Visa*

i agree.. BUT WHAT IF they inquire? i plan on telling the truth but don't want to get in trouble. 

Also I just read that there was some Tenancy Agreement that needs to be presented when applying for the Residency Visa and that could potentially cause an issue if we have the same address. Is that just for Abu Dhabi or does it include Dubai as well?


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## Canuck_Sens (Nov 16, 2010)

Look...it may sound awkward. I have a friend who lives in NY and his GF works in fashion. Is you BF of Sri lankan origin by any chance? or did he spend some time in Florianopolis ?

You could say you are visiting the country and staying in a hotel for example, but I am not sure how that's gonna cut out next time though. 

You can say that you want to work in Dubai that is fine too


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## Gavtek (Aug 23, 2009)

Canuck_Sens said:


> I cannot in good faith advise you how to get by with your wrongdoing and not even how to handle a situation because of that.
> 
> There are some here in the forum who walk in your shoes and may be able to offer a different perspective.
> 
> Why don't you have your BF to write me ? would he be ok with it ? If you have 5 posts you can also pm me.


What an odd, odd thing to post 

Anyway, if you're in the fashion industry, unless you're incredibly unlucky and end up working with extremely conservative colleagues, no-one is going to care, likely most of the people you're working with will be doing the same.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

First of all, your boyfriend will not be able to sponsor you. So you'll have to do visa runs for as long as you're looking for work, but with an American passport it's no big deal. Just go to the Hatta border crossing, officially enter Oman with a 50 AED fee then turn around and reenter the UAE. Presto, another 30 days in the country.

Without a sponsorship you also won't be able to sign tenancy agreements or open local bank accounts. 

Many people in the expat ghettos do live together, unmarried. The authorities don't conduct witch hunts for unmarried expats. But if something happens to attract the police's attention and it could be a rogue neighbour complaining to the police about you, you will have no legal recourse. However, this is extremely unlikely to happen. Be sensible, don't boast to the world that you're not married and don't do something silly like become very drunk and get into a shouting match with your boyfriend in public. 

As for employers, most won't particularly care who you're living with unless it's a very conservative local company but it's unlikely you'll work for such a place. If a prospective employer asks why you're relocating to Dubai you can simply say that your friends told you there's great professional opportunities in a dynamic and growing fashion market and you always wanted the chance to live overseas. That'll be good enough. Note, if you do get arrested by the police the company will immediately wash their hands of you if only because there's nothing they can do about it.


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## cautious_mover (Dec 9, 2009)

NYCtoDubai said:


> i agree.. BUT WHAT IF they inquire? i plan on telling the truth but don't want to get in trouble.
> 
> Also I just read that there was some Tenancy Agreement that needs to be presented when applying for the Residency Visa and that could potentially cause an issue if we have the same address. Is that just for Abu Dhabi or does it include Dubai as well?



It is illegal to live with a member of the opposite sex under UAE law, when they are not related to you. Interpret that how you wish.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

cautious_mover said:


> It is illegal to live with a member of the opposite sex under UAE law, when they are not related to you. Interpret that how you wish.


Technically yes, it is. BUT if they enforced that law - no one would come here!

The law is only enforced if complaints are made.


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## cautious_mover (Dec 9, 2009)

Its either against the law or it isn't. There is no grey area. I personally would not offer advice to anyone regarding anything that would cause someone to fall foul of any laws as a result of advice garnered from a website forum. Its up to the individual to make their own decisions based on their circumstances. And make no mistake - if a situation evolved that required them to enforce a law, then believe you me, that law would be enforced.

Golden rule: accept it as is and don't test the system.


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2013)

Agree, this is not the place to be advising people of how to break laws. We should respect the laws of the countries we go to or dont go!


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

Of course it's a massive grey area - the same can be said for drinking without a license.

Basically certain things are tolerated, but people need to be aware of the laws and just be careful.

They will never, enforce that law - for the same reason, they would never enforce unmarried couples staying in hotels - it would be commercial suicide for the place. Obviously 'certain' people i.e. muslims and some nationalities need to be more careful. I would never recommend it of a muslim couple.

It's not about advertising to break laws - it's the reality of the place. Giving 'false' info and saying everything is enforced is scaremongering, plain and simple. You can advise people of laws, but state the reality and let people do with that information as they wish.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

_shel said:


> Agree, this is not the place to be advising people of how to break laws. We should respect the laws of the countries we go to or dont go!


Oh really? And do people from this part of the world respect the laws of countries they go to? Do they heck! Please!


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

No one?

Plenty of expats willingly move to Saudi for work.

It wouldn't stop married expats from coming here.

Or the singles not in committed relationships.

Or all the expats (the outright majority) from cultures that don't tolerate out of wedlock relationships.

Altogether if the law was seriously enforced it'd have an impact but only a minor impact.

As it is, it's been correctly pointed out that the burden is on the person who's willing to break the law. Yes, many do it but if you are caught there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. You will be arrested. You will be imprisoned. You will be deported. Your consulate will not be able to save you.

It does happen.



Chocoholic said:


> Technically yes, it is. BUT if they enforced that law - no one would come here!
> 
> The law is only enforced if complaints are made.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

TallyHo, yes it does and has happened, but look at the reasons why it has happened? These people have gotten themselves into stupid situations - been drunk, got on the bad side of someone who has reported them etc.

Making it sound like the authorities go on a witch hunt for unmarried couples, is just wrong - it just doesn't happen.

Actually I think it would impact alot more than you think - especially the tourism sector - which the UAE now relies heavily on for it's income.

As I said before and will keep saying - people can be advised of the situation and the actualities and then make an informed decision. But making blanket statements that this happens is incorrect nor does it do anyone any favours.


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## Guest (Dec 4, 2013)

Chocoholic said:


> Oh really? And do people from this part of the world respect the laws of countries they go to? Do they heck! Please!


 That is exactly why we should respect other cultures and laws when in their country. One can not get upset, demand the same and campaign for governments to 'force' people to do so as some groups are if we do not do the same.


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## saraswat (Apr 28, 2012)

Chocoholic said:


> Oh really? And do people from this part of the world respect the laws of countries they go to? Do they heck! Please!


So it's OK for us expats to come out here and break the law ?

Guess Rebecca had it right then ...


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

_shel said:


> That is exactly why we should respect other cultures and laws when in their country. One can not get upset, demand the same and campaign for governments to 'force' people to do so as some groups are if we do not do the same.


Oh I totally agree with you there.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

saraswat said:


> So it's OK for us expats to come out here and break the law ?
> 
> Guess Rebecca had it right then ...


For goodness sake you lot - really?!

I never said that - I will say it AGAIN - people should be given ALL the info, to make an INFORMED decision! The REALITY of the situation.

Scaremongering is of no benefit to anyone. You cannot make an informed decision, if you only have half the info.

Oh please RB? That girl is a bloody nightmare.

FYI - I grew up in Saudi and halve lived in the ME for over a 3rd of my life so am more capapable of seeing situations here from a realistic point of few.


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## Canuck_Sens (Nov 16, 2010)

Told yua it is a contentious topic....

some of us do not agree that you come and live illegally whereas some say provided you do a,b and c you will do just fine.

I think it is against the forum rules to support even the intention of wrongdoing like say that you are going to live with your BF and looking for advise as to how to get by at work. Truth is, you are taking some risks regardless. 

So I shake my head when someone says "nobody is going to care". Their life reality is not what your life reality may be in future. You revealed your intention already.

That was why I wanted to chat with your BF so that I could make some points, but hey there are several threads as said earlier that you two should read in this forum and make an informed decision. You two are adults. There is plenty of info here. you should not disregard FACTS, but emotion yes by all means comments disputing the other poster opinion are useless and don't add up to anything.

It is interesting to see that people would twist the rules to live with people they like, but they would not marry on paper to render it legal. I find this behaviour awkward, but again this is me. i hope your BF deserves the exposure you are accepting if you decide to follow your intentions you shared upfront


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

I made it perfectly clear that authorities don't hunt for unmarried couples. But your allegation that no one would come to Dubai if people couldn't live with a boy/girlfriend is greatly exaggerated.

We're not talking about visitors staying in hotels. We're talking about being residents here. Huge difference.

The overwhelmingly majority of expats are not from the West. They're from India, Pakistan and other Arab countries, which are culturally much more conservative places than the UK or the US. Some may live out of wedlock. Most don't. 

Factoring in everything I wouldn't be surprised if the % of expats living together in a committed but unmarried relationship is less than 1% of the overall population. 





Chocoholic said:


> TallyHo, yes it does and has happened, but look at the reasons why it has happened? These people have gotten themselves into stupid situations - been drunk, got on the bad side of someone who has reported them etc.
> 
> Making it sound like the authorities go on a witch hunt for unmarried couples, is just wrong - it just doesn't happen.
> 
> Actually I think it would impact alot more than you think - especially the tourism sector - which the UAE now relies heavily on for it's income.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

TallyHo said:


> The overwhelmingly majority of expats are not from the West. They're from India, Pakistan and other Arab countries, which are culturally much more conservative places than the UK or the US. Some may live out of wedlock. Most don't.


Ah bingo - but is ANY of that relevant to the OP, who comes from the US? er nope!

I'm commenting on the information given by the OP - not making blanekt statements based on the cultural make-up of the palce - HUGE difference. And I wouldn't expect the majority of people from the countries you've listed to even ask the question.

Now if it were a muslim couple, from say Pakistan - my advice would be completely different.

You have to look at things on a case by case scenario.

ETA - I will admit, that I am making gross assumptions based on what little info OP has given. But you get my point.


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## saraswat (Apr 28, 2012)

Chocoholic said:


> For goodness sake you lot - really?!


Yes. Really. 

So here is what happened ... 

shel makes this comment:


_shel said:


> Agree, this is not the place to be advising people of how to break laws. We should respect the laws of the countries we go to or dont go!


to which your response is:



Chocoholic said:


> Oh really? And do people from this part of the world respect the laws of countries they go to? Do they heck! Please!


What is one to understand from the above discussion ?



Chocoholic said:


> Scaremongering is of no benefit to anyone.


Where exactly did the scaremongering occur on this thread though ? It has happened before on earlier threads yes, and I do agree with your point about informing people about the reality on the ground. But isn't that what the earlier posts were doing ? 

I haven't seen any blanket statement from anyone ... maybe I missed something.. 



Chocoholic said:


> Oh please RB? That girl is a bloody nightmare.


Agreed.



Chocoholic said:


> FYI - I grew up in Saudi and halve lived in the ME for over a 3rd of my life so am more capapable of seeing situations here from a realistic point of few.


Your capability isn't at issue. There are quite a few members of the forum that have spent just as much or more time here, myself included. 

But the fact remains I don't really see the point you were trying to make with the laws comment earlier ... 


p.s: using capital letters doesn't really do anything but annoy people reading posts, atleast imho. It's not like something written in capitals is more of a point ...


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## QOFE (Apr 28, 2013)

We got married before moving here. Not that we are the "marrying kind of people" hence no wedding reception. We love each other and are committed to what will hopefully be a relationship lasting until the end of our lives. 
It felt safer to move here as a married couple to abide by the laws of this country and to not have to constantly look over your shoulder and be worried that somebody will report us. 

I know that there are couples here "living in sin" and having to constantly lie and pretend to be married. I would not be comfortable with that kind of life.
There might also be tenancy agreement/visa issues if not married.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

You claimed that 'no one' would come to Dubai. 

I am patiently pointing why this would not be the case. From a demographic perspective and given the cultural and religious origins of most expats, relatively few expats out of Dubai's overall population are affected by the laws against living together out of wedlock. 

Unless, of course, nationalities without a US or EU passport don't count.

I seem to remember a similar thread a few months back so you obviously find this a very important issue. I'm not interested in rehashing the same tired arguments so I've decided this is the last time I will post on any similarly themed thread. To the OP: the laws are black and white with no grey areas. It is illegal. If caught you will be arrested/imprisoned/deported. It's up to you to decide how you wish to proceed. 





Chocoholic said:


> Ah bingo - but is ANY of that relevant to the OP, who comes from the US? er nope!
> 
> I'm commenting on the information given by the OP - not making blanekt statements based on the cultural make-up of the palce - HUGE difference. And I wouldn't expect the majority of people from the countries you've listed to even ask the question.
> 
> ...


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## IzzyBella (Mar 11, 2013)

*Guys, chill your beans!*

:focus:



NYCtoDubai said:


> Hello,
> 
> I'm moving next week to Dubai as my BF is being relocated there. We are not married so obviously I have some concerns about what to say when asked. I'm looking for a job in Fashion (my field) and I'm unsure when interviewing if I should say Im relocating and living with my boyfriend.
> 
> ...


1. If they ask, say you're living with a friend whilst you get yourself sorted out. They probably won't ask any more details and you can negotiate a better housing allowance.

2. Don't say you're married if you're not. They'll probably offer you a lower package if they think you are and/or enquire as to why you haven't gotten a spouse visa, which they might want to piggy back off (as that means they don't have to pay for a visa).

3. Ignore the hissy fits above.


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## pmcdubai (Sep 19, 2013)

It is true that it's illegal to live together unmarried. If the police have some other reason to investigate your circumstances eg: you have an all night party and the neighbours complain or you commit some other offence, then you could be in trouble

That said, I know a heap of people who live together unmarried and as others have said nobody is ever going to come to your building checking marriage certificates. Imagine if it was enforced half the hotel rooms in Dubai would be empty and there would be no tourist industry. Just be careful about advertising the fact and you should be fine. Employers wont ask about your circumstance, your future colleagues wont care and no western expat is every going to report you. If you have reason to refer to your boyfriend in front of an Emirati, conservative local, building security etc then he is your husband.

Rule of thumb, be sensible and everything should be fine but be aware there is always that small risk. Good luck, you will love life in Dubai


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## Gavtek (Aug 23, 2009)

Canuck_Sens said:


> So I shake my head when someone says "nobody is going to care".


Really? You literally sit there shaking your head at your screen do you?


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## cautious_mover (Dec 9, 2009)

Oh this is hilarious!!


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## cautious_mover (Dec 9, 2009)

pmcdubai said:


> That said, I know a heap of people who live together unmarried and as others have said nobody is ever going to come to your building checking marriage certificates.


Actually there was a recent door kicking campaign and marriage certificate checking in Sharjah... FREEZE! ITS THE MARRIAGE POLICE.....which reminds me of the Spanish inquisition sketch by Monty Python. You will enjoy this clip:


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## caro.duarte1 (Dec 9, 2013)

I agree it is illegal but is it mandatory to give your marital status when applying for a job?
Is there any difference with couples who are not married yet but committed to?


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## Chocoya (Dec 9, 2013)

First, it is illegal here for a man and woman who are not brother and sister or married to live together. Having said that, many expats do without problems. But, it only takes one phone call to the police to ruin your life. Why would you risk it? Why not just marry before you come?


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## Beamrider (May 18, 2012)

Chocoya said:


> Why would you risk it? Why not just marry before you come?


They might have their reasons. Not everybody is willing to get married just to avoid trouble with the law.


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## Chocoya (Dec 9, 2013)

NYCtoDubai said:


> i agree.. BUT WHAT IF they inquire? i plan on telling the truth but don't want to get in trouble.
> 
> Also I just read that there was some Tenancy Agreement that needs to be presented when applying for the Residency Visa and that could potentially cause an issue if we have the same address. Is that just for Abu Dhabi or does it include Dubai as well?


But, only if you have a job can you get residency here anyway. Isn't abiding by the law the best route to take. It will take only one phone call to the police all will be over for you. Just marry before you come!


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## Nix2012 (May 18, 2012)

I have lots of friends who live here with their boyfriends and they live together. Some have been here for years..................


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## nicegalmemi (Nov 17, 2013)

not a trouble as long as you don't have some enemies who will go and report this to the police.
but you can secretly live together, many are doing it.




NYCtoDubai said:


> Hello,
> 
> I'm moving next week to Dubai as my BF is being relocated there. We are not married so obviously I have some concerns about what to say when asked. I'm looking for a job in Fashion (my field) and I'm unsure when interviewing if I should say Im relocating and living with my boyfriend.
> 
> ...


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## Bklyn (Dec 11, 2013)

NYCtoDubai said:


> Hello,
> 
> I'm moving next week to Dubai as my BF is being relocated there. We are not married so obviously I have some concerns about what to say when asked. I'm looking for a job in Fashion (my field) and I'm unsure when interviewing if I should say Im relocating and living with my boyfriend.
> 
> ...


You can't lie. Your bf will have to have your non existent marriage license authenticated like everything else. I have a better question. What will you do if he decides to dump you?


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Bklyn said:


> You can't lie. Your bf will have to have your non existent marriage license authenticated like everything else. I have a better question. What will you do if he decides to dump you?


Why would her boyfriend need to have the marriage certificate attested? He doesn't need the document for anything if he is single.


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## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

Bklyn said:


> You can't lie.


You wouldn't let it lie


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Mr Rossi said:


> You wouldn't let it lie


Hahahahahahahahaha! It's up there with the labor law advice given recently


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## Bklyn (Dec 11, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> Why would her boyfriend need to have the marriage certificate attested? He doesn't need the document for anything if he is single.


I was being sarcastic.


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Bklyn said:


> I was being sarcastic.


Okayyyyyyy


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## hubbly_bubbly (Oct 17, 2010)

So. 40 odd posts in and what's the verdict? 

Ta-da:


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## LONGGOOD BYE (Dec 26, 2011)

If they enforced every law that is on the books here we might all be in jail for something we did not even know that is against the law.I have been here 9 year and as long as you keep things on the down low you will be fine,they don't want problems here with expats, because it might make the international news which is not good for business or tourism so keep things low. I have a number of friends that live togther


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## Enzoo (May 15, 2012)

i very much agree with longgood bye


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## anotherdayindubai (Dec 20, 2013)

half of JLT and dubai marina would be empty if un married couples law was enforced. Just take a long breath and relax


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