# Xalapa!



## MissThing (Nov 12, 2015)

Hi, am renting in Xalapa for the next few months, possibly longer. Have spent a short amount of time there and found the locals to play it pretty close to the vest, and that's putting it politely. 

Anyone there or in the vicinity who wants to have tea with another American, hit me up!


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

MissThing said:


> Hi, am renting in Xalapa for the next few months, possibly longer. Have spent a short amount of time there and found the locals to play it pretty close to the vest, and that's putting it politely.
> 
> Anyone there or in the vicinity who wants to have tea with another American, hit me up!


In my experience, it is a cultural tradition in Mexico to be very friendly to acquaintances, but not to share your personal feelings much.

As an example, when I first moved here, I rented a from a very friendly family. We would always greet each other warmly and respond to "How are you", with "Great, perfect, etc" (in Spanish of course). Then I would talk to one of my coworkers who knew the family better than I did. She would tell me that he was having back problems, the kids were having problems at school, and a host of other issues that they would never mention to a casual acquaintance like me.

The solution is just to be patient. After you get to know people better, they will open up and be more straightforward with you. Mexicans are not Russians. I am told that if you ask a Russian, "How are you", you will get a half hour recounting of all their ailments. Not true of Mexico.


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## MissThing (Nov 12, 2015)

Well, I've been in Mexico for almost eight months, but the contrast between the folks in my current location, Mexico City, and Xalapa was quite startling. Mexico City has some of the most friendly and talkative people Ive ever met. They're warm and have a great sense of humor and will steer you in the right direction if you're lost. I exchange jokes with people even during random interactions in stores. 

In Xalapa, was shocked at the hard and unsmiling exterior most people I came across had. Came across some pretty tough cookies.

I have thick enough skin to survive there for a while, but feel it might be more enjoyable with an expat contact or two nearby.


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## Balboa (Nov 16, 2010)

Awesome to hear MissThing. Hope your time in Xalapa goes well!


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## joaquinx (Jul 3, 2010)

MissThing said:


> Hi, am renting in Xalapa for the next few months, possibly longer. Have spent a short amount of time there and found the locals to play it pretty close to the vest, and that's putting it politely.
> 
> Anyone there or in the vicinity who wants to have tea with another American, hit me up!


I live here and we do not drink tea in coffee country. However, I'm up for an espresso.:boxing:


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

I was just speaking with a Mexican woman who told me she lived for 5 years i San Cristobal de las Casas and she told me she never made friends with coletos, her friends wee all from a place other than San Cristobal.. Coletos told me they were just about as friendly as people from Puebla...do not know because we have Mexican friends in Puebla wo are from Puebla..but if I think about it all of our friends in San Cristobal ..they are also all from various parts of Chiapas and other places but none are from San Critobal..We have lived there off and on for 10 years..so be patient..


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## chicois8 (Aug 8, 2009)

MissThing said:


> Anyone there or in the vicinity who wants to have tea with another American, hit me up!



Just a word to the wise,"hit me up" means different things in different countries, being an international board you never know what response you may get...........


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Like the exchange student, a young teen in England for the first time, who met a young lady down the hall. He complained that he had made some errors filling out an enrollment form and had no way to correct them. She said, “Knock me up and I‘ll give you a rubber“.


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## MissThing (Nov 12, 2015)

Sigh. Hope this thread does not continue to go off on a dumb tangent.

I have decided not to return to Xalapa. Will follow my gut instinct about it and stay put here in Mexico City. From the moment I arrived here I was in love with the people, the culture, the magic. I believe in love at first sight. MC is pricier than I'll be able to manage long term, unfortunately.


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## MissThing (Nov 12, 2015)

Thanks to all else for your feedback and encouragement. Do appreciate it.


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## joaquinx (Jul 3, 2010)

MissThing said:


> Thanks Joaquin. I should've met you for expresso when I was there last month! Would've been great to talk and hear your take on living there, but I'm not going back there. Very affordable real estate but not much else I liked.


Thanks for the mention. CDMX is my second city.


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## MissThing (Nov 12, 2015)

joaquinx said:


> I live here and we do not drink tea in coffee country. However, I'm up for an espresso.:boxing:



Thanks Joaquin. I should've met you for expresso when I was there last month! Would've been great to talk and hear your take on living there, but I'm not going back there. Very affordable real estate but not much else I liked.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

MissThing said:


> Sigh. Hope this thread does not continue to go off on a dumb tangent.


Sometimes "dumb tangents" are what make for interesting threads.


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## joaquinx (Jul 3, 2010)

Isla Verde said:


> Sometimes "dumb tangents" are what make for interesting threads.


And then there are those who reply to any thread with any comment.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

joaquinx said:


> And then there are those who reply to any thread with any comment.


That's just annoying, perhaps a cry for attention!


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## SergioC (Jun 19, 2011)

TundraGreen said:


> Mexicans are not Russians. I am told that if you ask a Russian, "How are you", you will get a half hour recounting of all their ailments.


That's true.
It is not obvious for us that when you’re asked “How is it going?” and “How are you?” they are not actually interested in you, those are rhetorical questions equal to “Hi” and “Good morning”. Now we know


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## Meritorious-MasoMenos (Apr 17, 2014)

MissThing said:


> Sigh. Hope this thread does not continue to go off on a dumb tangent.
> 
> I have decided not to return to Xalapa. Will follow my gut instinct about it and stay put here in Mexico City. From the moment I arrived here I was in love with the people, the culture, the magic. I believe in love at first sight. MC is pricier than I'll be able to manage long term, unfortunately.


Re: "MC is pricier than I'll be able to manage long term, unfortunately"

Some board members, even a certain moderator, have discussed in detail how they are able to live in DF very moderately. You should do some reading in past threads and even put in a few polite requests if you find such people for tips, etc.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Meritorious-MasoMenos said:


> Re: "MC is pricier than I'll be able to manage long term, unfortunately"
> 
> Some board members, even a certain moderator, have discussed in detail how they are able to live in DF very moderately. You should do some reading in past threads and even put in a few polite requests if you find such people for tips, etc.


I'd be happy to share my experiences living in Mexico City on a very modest budget with Miss Thing, but what is "moderate" for me might not be for her.


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## Howler (Apr 22, 2013)

MissThing said:


> Sigh. Hope this thread does not continue to go off on a dumb tangent.
> 
> I have decided not to return to Xalapa. Will follow my gut instinct about it and stay put here in Mexico City. From the moment I arrived here I was in love with the people, the culture, the magic. I believe in love at first sight. MC is pricier than I'll be able to manage long term, unfortunately.


Sorry to hear that your experience didn't go so well for you in Xalapa. I lived there back in '76 & '77 and found the people to be friendly & warm, some I still maintain contact with when I'm in Mexico. This was my experience as a young man in my early 20s. I also lived in Puebla, which was well-known for how "cold" the people could be and experienced it for myself. However, as the people there know & warm up to you, you WILL make some life-long friends from among them.

Veracruz is my hands-down favorite place for the friendliness & openness of the people to strangers there in the port area; Orizaba & Taxco run close seconds. Everywhere else, I have not found it difficult to make new friends or to relate cordially (if not "warmly") in Mexico as a whole.

You sound like a very friendly person... it should not take long to build a circle of "close" friends among your acquaintances wherever you settle in!


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