# Need Help from a Twentysomething please?



## Colin Robinson (Jan 19, 2011)

Hello everyone,

I need some help again please?

My partner and I will be coming out to the Silver Coast in early March to buy a house and begin our new life in Portugal. Our problem is that she has a 23 year old son who is not sure if he wants to come with us or not? We have done many, MANY fact-finding visits to the area and have found out all we need to know but neither of us have looked at it from the point of view of a lad of that age (as we are "slightly" older than him!).

Are you, or do you have in your household, an English speaking, early twenties male or female who has expereinced the area and could spare a few minutes to correspond with our David please? If you or they could tell him something about what life is like out there and maybe find the time to answer a few of his questions, it would really help him to make an informed decision about his future?

If you can help, could you please reply to this thread or PM me and, with your permission, I will pass your details on to David and get him to write to you direct?

Thanks again for your help,

Colin


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## omostra06 (Sep 11, 2007)

Hi Colin
Iam slightly over 20 so cant really offer any advice, hopefully some younger forum members will be along soon to offer advice.
Derek


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## mayotom (Nov 8, 2008)

well at 23 isn't it time to fly the coop.

I have lived in both Spain and Portugal for several years, now I'm in my early 30s and frankly unless he is in the Resort areas he will not meet many *english speaking* people of his own age apart from some seasonal student workers and since these are predominately male it may get a little lonely for him,

however most important is finding out what he wants from life at his age??? does he want to live his own life, or have his mothers support for the rest of his life


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## Colin Robinson (Jan 19, 2011)

mayotom said:


> well at 23 isn't it time to fly the coop.
> 
> I have lived in both Spain and Portugal for several years, now I'm in my early 30s and frankly unless he is in the Resort areas he will not meet many *english speaking* people of his own age apart from some seasonal student workers and since these are predominately male it may get a little lonely for him,
> 
> however most important is finding out what he wants from life at his age??? does he want to live his own life, or have his mothers support for the rest of his life


Fair point, but I didn't want to go into huge detail about his life in this forum.... Suffice to say, he has had problems - not least of which was his "fiancee" running off with another bloke and leaving him with HUGE debts. I agree that most young men of his age should "live their own lives" but to my thinking, a parent's role doesn't end there. If things go wrong - as they have for David - I believe a mother should be there to help pick up the pieces. My request for help from people his age in Portugal to talk to him was in the hope that they could show him, more than his mother or I could, that he COULD put his world back together and "live his own life" out there, with just a little help from us?

I appreciate your comments about English speakers and if he does come with us, he too will be doing his utmost to learn Portugese. For now though, I was just hoping to find one person - male or female - who could answer his questions and help him decide what to do?

Anyone????


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## mayotom (Nov 8, 2008)

Colin Robinson said:


> Fair point, but I didn't want to go into huge detail about his life in this forum.... Suffice to say, he has had problems - not least of which was his "fiancee" running off with another bloke and leaving him with HUGE debts. I agree that most young men of his age should "live their own lives" but to my thinking, a parent's role doesn't end there. If things go wrong - as they have for David - I believe a mother should be there to help pick up the pieces. My request for help from people his age in Portugal to talk to him was in the hope that they could show him, more than his mother or I could, that he COULD put his world back together and "live his own life" out there, with just a little help from us?
> 
> I appreciate your comments about English speakers and if he does come with us, he too will be doing his utmost to learn Portugese. For now though, I was just hoping to find one person - male or female - who could answer his questions and help him decide what to do?
> 
> Anyone????


it may help if you can be more specific about the areas that you plan to move too..


Sorry that I can't be of much help on the specific areas up there, but my closest experiances would be the Algarve, and it varies quiet a lot from one place to the next, in Albufeira for example in the summer there are a lot of people in their twenties, many of them come back every year for 4-6 months and it would be great socially for somebody of his age, however in the winter its like a ghost town and very difficult to meet people, male or female. Compare this to Lagos there is an all year round flow of back packers and over the years several have stayed and taken up full time employment and have integrated well with the locals.

If you are in an area where for example there is a large surfing community then there will be more people his own age, of several nationalities. this is why I say that a lot depend's on what he enjoys and what he would hope to get from the move, everybody is different, some like a quiet life some the opposite, maybe he should also check out the area before moving, of go with you for a few months before making a final decision, but I wouldn't base the decision to move on what he wants to do, as it is an age where people make several changes and can move on quickly, so you may end up in a location that is more suited to your step son than yourself but without him.

also an important factor will be work, what will he do, is there a market for his skills etc, when I first moved I had to change my skill set to stay in the area that I liked so again it comes down to his priorities and only he can really make that decision however its difficult to decide until you have done it.

I didn't mean to be critical of him for needing his mother, we all do at some stage no matter what age. 

If I was his age again, I would go for it, there is nothing to loose, if it works out then great, if not then start again somewhere else, but certainly experiencing different cultures and locations can only be good for him. I wish you all the best of luck what ever decisions you make


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## Colin Robinson (Jan 19, 2011)

Thank you for that.

He is a carpenter by trade but is also competant at general building works. We intend to buy a house somewhere on the Silver Coast (around Coimbra, Pombal, Nazarre - that sort of area) and "employ" him to help do it up until he finds his feet. 

It's not that he is looking (at this stage anyway) for a ready-made "social scene" to fit into, such as surfers or the like, but, as I understand it, he would just like to be able to chat online to someone of his sort of age group to find out their experiences and ask them questions. Yes, he could just come out with us and see for himself, but isn't that what this forum is about? People sharing their experiences with each other? 

When his mother and I get there, we have already found several people we would like to buy a drink. We may not become lifelong buddies with any of them but it's a place to start. All David wants is one or two people of around his age that he can chat to through this forum and maybe buy a drink if he goes out there too? Again, just a place to start.....

I can't believe this forum is solely for old fogies like us so if you ARE in your twenties, PLEASE write?


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## mayotom (Nov 8, 2008)

As I say good look with it, while he is working on the house it would be the ideal time to find out what its like. I hope you do get somebody on here in that age group in that area, however on the Portugal Section of this forum it is dominated by older generations, as they are clearly in the Majority of people moving there.

give it a couple of days and some of the younger members may get back too you


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## silvers (Sep 22, 2008)

There is a fantastic Irish bar in Nazare, along with many others and that is where the 20 somethings hang out. It isn't like England though, with the drinking culture, it is far more restrained. When he arrives I would be more than happy to introduce him to some of the regulars, they may not be Brits but most speak English.


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## notlongnow (May 21, 2009)

I'm not convinced there even ARE any 20s people on the forum! My wife and I are early 30s and used to being the "babies" on the expat scene! Happy to talk to your son if you think it would help - we are Algarve based. 

Initial thoughts:

- The social scene out here is vastly different from that in the UK. As people in our early 30s, we have struggled to meet people our age and assume they are either at home looking after kids or living in the UK for better employment prospects.

It doesn't mean we are lonely as we have lots of visitors and have made a few friends now, but we have nothing like the social network we had in London.

- The seaside resort towns, especially in the Algarve, are like two totally different places when you compare summer (frenetic, busy and exciting) and winter (sleepy beyond belief.)


A lot depends on the type of personality your son has and whether he sees it as an adventure. If he's got mates who are going to come and visit then those times will be great fun when he gets to take them to beaches and bars. If he wants to have any kind of Portugal-based social life he will have to go out and look for it, and it requires a certain amount of confidence to be prepared to make a fool of one's-self in a foreign language.


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## stephanie (Nov 11, 2008)

I agree with Silvers that the Irish bar in Nazare is a great place to kick start your social life. Most Portuguese people under the age of 30 speak English - it is hard not to! They learn English at school and it is constantly on the television.

We are 'a little' older than our twenties but have found the best place to meet people is at Portuguese language courses.

As long as you have the internet at home your son will not feel cut off, Portugal is such a great country he will almost certainly love it - and let's be honest, it's not exactly difficult to go back to the UK if he feels it is not for him.


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## lane-anderson (Feb 14, 2011)

Hi

My husband and I are both in our 20s. I have been here for five years and Chris has been here for 16. He knows everywhere and everyone. 

I have pm you his email address. He´s the best one for your son to talk to. As for leaving the nest, most Portuguese men don´t leave home until they are married so there is a lot of men in their 30s still living at home

we are moving back shortly but I´ve loved living here. There are loads and loads or expat famillies around with english speaking 20 somethings. Loads and loads of bars (especially around the tourist areas). There is the beach in the summer, where most spend their day (and night). I´ll let you email my hubby though cause he knows a lot more than me. Though the resorts die in the winter and it can be quite deppressing.

I can´t figure out how to send a pm so can someone point me in the right direction please.

Does he drive?


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## Colin Robinson (Jan 19, 2011)

Hi!

Thanks for your reply! I was beginning to think that the entire forum was populated only by old fogies like me!

Thank you also for agreeing to Dave emailing your husband. I have sent you a Private Message with my email address in it so if you could get him to reply to me with his, I will pass it on to David and he can make contact direct. PLEASE don't tell him about Portuguese men living at home until they're 30's though - we're hoping to get rid of him long before then (lol)!

Sorry to learn that you're coming back - I hope everything's OK for the two of you?

Thanks again,

Colin


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## Colin Robinson (Jan 19, 2011)

lane-anderson said:


> Hi
> 
> My husband and I are both in our 20s. I have been here for five years and Chris has been here for 16. He knows everywhere and everyone.
> 
> ...


Hi again!

I've just tried to send you a private message with my email address but, apparently, you've chosen not to receive them?

To send one to me, click on "User CP" at the top of the page and on the left hand side of the page you are directed to, you will see "Send New Message" If you start to type my name in the Recipient's box, it will bring up all the alternatives it can find for you and I should be on there. Click on me and away you go!

Thanks again,

Colin


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## silvers (Sep 22, 2008)

Lane, you will need to post 2 more times before pm's become available.


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## lane-anderson (Feb 14, 2011)

silvers said:


> Lane, you will need to post 2 more times before pm's become available.


well, heres one down, one to go. lets see if i can find something intresting. Thanks x


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## Colin Robinson (Jan 19, 2011)

silvers said:


> Lane, you will need to post 2 more times before pm's become available.


Obviously, the moderators can see what we are trying to achieve here, so how do we provide each other with an email address if PM's are restricted? I am quite happy to list mine, [email protected], here, but is that allowed?


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## lane-anderson (Feb 14, 2011)

I´ve got it. I´ve sent you an email. I told him about your son when he came back for luch and he said its not a problem.


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