# Egyptian man



## missscottish

Hi there ppl, just looking for some advice. 

I recently went on holiday to Sharm & my friend introduced me to an Egyptian man she met from her previous visit to Egypt. 
We got on really well & spent alot of time together throughout the holiday. We have kept in contact. He wants me to go back to visit him so he can show me more of Egypt & we can get to know each other more. I am looking to buy flights next month. We have also spoke about me moving out there in the future, which i am considering. 

Is there anything I should really know & be aware of apart form the obvious? 

My friend told me about him before i went, although not expecting to form a relationship with him, i knew about his life etc before i met him. So i dont think he is lying about much he likes me. Im not a niave girl however do get a lil bit paranoid as you hear some horror stories.......... anyone had a similar experience? & if so, how did it work out? 

Thanks


----------



## highvoltagehair

missscottish said:


> Hi there ppl, just looking for some advice.
> 
> I recently went on holiday to Sharm & my friend introduced me to an Egyptian man she met from her previous visit to Egypt.
> We got on really well & spent alot of time together throughout the holiday. We have kept in contact. He wants me to go back to visit him so he can show me more of Egypt & we can get to know each other more. I am looking to buy flights next month. We have also spoke about me moving out there in the future, which i am considering.
> 
> Is there anything I should really know & be aware of apart form the obvious?
> 
> My friend told me about him before i went, although not expecting to form a relationship with him, i knew about his life etc before i met him. So i dont think he is lying about much he likes me. Im not a niave girl however do get a lil bit paranoid as you hear some horror stories.......... anyone had a similar experience? & if so, how did it work out?
> 
> Thanks


I'm sure you've already read a lot of horror stories, or posts telling you to watch out for scammers. I think it's a plus that he was introduced to you through a friend. That should hopefully make you a little more at ease. And you've already met him in person, so that's nice.

You should know that some Egyptian men move very fast. So, it is not uncommon to hear I love you or some other sweet sentiment soon after meeting haha. So, don't let it freak you out too much if he's moving fast! But really, a lot are like that. Even girls are very sweet from the start. As soon as I met my Egyptian boyfriend's Mom and sister, I've been hearing nothing but "i love you" and "kisses" since lol. 

If you visit again, just have fun and listen to what he says...you should be able to tell if he's being genuine or not. And, I guess just make sure you have enough money with you in case something happens and you need to leave or go your separate ways.

And my boyfriend works at a resort, and a lot of his friends have met foreign women while on vacation there. And many are married now. So, it can work, and apparently quite normal for guys in the tourist industry, and those in the red sea area to meet women from other countries. He tells me about all of their relationships, and from what he's mentioned, all are happy and doing well. (Well, except for one couple that is having a hard time due to the language barrier haha)

Good luck and best wishes


----------



## Sam

missscottish said:


> Hi there ppl, just looking for some advice.
> 
> I recently went on holiday to Sharm & my friend introduced me to an Egyptian man she met from her previous visit to Egypt.
> We got on really well & spent alot of time together throughout the holiday. We have kept in contact. He wants me to go back to visit him so he can show me more of Egypt & we can get to know each other more. I am looking to buy flights next month. We have also spoke about me moving out there in the future, which i am considering.
> 
> Is there anything I should really know & be aware of apart form the obvious?
> 
> My friend told me about him before i went, although not expecting to form a relationship with him, i knew about his life etc before i met him. So i dont think he is lying about much he likes me. Im not a niave girl however do get a lil bit paranoid as you hear some horror stories.......... anyone had a similar experience? & if so, how did it work out?
> 
> Thanks




I'm sorry, I can't help but giggle that we had miss irish recently confessing her love for an Egyptian man and now you have signed up with the same confession as miss scottish.

Anyway...


I'll be honest with you, I have been in Sharm for over 4 years and met A LOT of Egyptian men here, and I can count on one hand the number of *good* men I have met. Decent guys here are truly few and far between. That's not to say that there aren't men here who are kind and considerate, or that every guy has only the intention of using you for money or a passport. What I mean is that *typical* Egyptian who comes to Sharm are of a very low class and has come here to make money which they couldn't if they stayed in there home (more often than not their village). Whilst there are many scumbags who are looking for any relationship they can *profit* from, there are also many who just find themselves swooning after foreign women since they are so different to the women they know. But, extremely few that I have met could ever be compatible with the western woman, their mannerisms, mentality etc. What you need to think about is whether you are willing to mould to become the woman he wants, coz he sure as hell won't be changing his ways. Unless he is a scumbag, then he'll do anything for you until he's got what he needs.

That's my two pennies anyway, but I wish you luck in your ventures anyway, since I know regardless of what anybody else says you will still do it, and I don't blame you. You have to try after all. Just don't get your hopes too high, and if at any point it feels even a little bit wrong, run, it's because it is.


----------



## bat

Well put. Sad but true. Don't forget the STD here!!


----------



## jojo

It seems to me from reading all these "love" stories that its simply because Egyptian men declare undying love and show lots of attention very early on compared to our British/western men, which gives us women a buzz - and makes us feel special and "loved", but is that really enough to make us "putty in their hands"?? It shouldnt be, there is more to love and relationships than a few "right words" in the beginning, when actually, these men cant possibly have a clue whether they like us or whether they want to spend the rest of their lives with us - its all just an ego boost for us women. And why anyway? Is it because they have a hidden agenda? Is it because they are trying to escape their country? Is it simply because they've been brought up to believe that love and relationships are really that shallow, hence they never last beyond the "honeymoon" period or til they get what they want. 

Quite frankly, I find it hard to believe that you can have any feelings other than fun and friendship with someone that you hardly know, simply because he says the right things and you think he likes/loves/wants you. How about what you really think about him? and what about the future, the mundane things, the reliability, trust, the bills, housing, friends, kids, neighbours, family, the rest of your lives and what will future normality will be like. Cos the "right words" and the tingle will disappear and you are left with "day to day" with this person - or not if he didnt mean any of it!?

I'm not trying to disrespect Egyptian men, but if ANY man started saying or doing the things you and others say they do, I'd be very suspicious and would simply keep my feelings out of it until I saw some reality and normality. Especially when you havent even met these guys - no matter what nationality they are????????? 

Jo xxx


----------



## missscottish

Thanks everyone for their reply. 
Thanks highvoltagehair for your advice, you have made me feel a little bit more at ease : ) it's nice to hear that it is possible there is some nice genuine guys out there & relationships do work. Where are you originally from & do you live in Egypt now? If so how long for? 
To Sam - haha, I just happened to come across this website wen I was looking around for info & Egypt. I seen missirish's comments amongst others. When string up an account I couldnt think of a name so thought y not have a lil missscottish hanging around here too haha!! I don't think I'm in the same situation as missirish tho & I'm no where near declaring my undying love for this man. We just had such a great time together & have kept in contact & talk about possibly being together. I no for sure ge is not after my money..... He'd b looking in the wrong place hahaha!! & he's quite well aware that I'm not minted with money. He actually has his own lil business & doesn't seem interested in coming to the uk permanently. He has welcomed me to Egypt & told me if I live with him, we can take it easy & if it doesn't work out I can always change my mind. Iv always been interested in different cultures & have lived in another country before for a short time. 
To bat - I'm quite well aware on how to look after my own sexual health, no matter what country I'm in. I wasn't looking for advise on this, however thanks all the same for ur input. 
To jojo - I can't stress enough that I'm not being sweet talked, I strongly believe actions are louder than words. I know guys just tell u what u want to hear, in every country..... came across a few & kicked them to the cirb haha!! 

Thanks again everyone on ur reply, helped a lil!! 

Will keep uze all updated xx


----------



## highvoltagehair

missscottish said:


> Thanks highvoltagehair for your advice, you have made me feel a little bit more at ease : ) it's nice to hear that it is possible there is some nice genuine guys out there & relationships do work. Where are you originally from & do you live in Egypt now? If so how long for?


I'm in America...will be moving to Egypt (South Sinai) in October '11. I'm glad I made you feel more at ease. There really are so many nice guys there despite the bad rap they are getting. And it really is funny/crazy to know that a lot of my boyfriends co-workers are dating or are married to foreign women. And that's just at one Red Sea Resort...So, I imaging there are LOTS of us in the area! haha.


----------



## MaidenScotland

highvoltagehair said:


> I'm in America...will be moving to Egypt (South Sinai) in October '11. I'm glad I made you feel more at ease. There really are so many nice guys there despite the bad rap they are getting. And it really is funny/crazy to know that a lot of my boyfriends co-workers are dating or are married to foreign women. And that's just at one Red Sea Resort...So, I imaging there are LOTS of us in the area! haha.




Ohhh yes there are lots of you in the Red Sea Resorts..

but in all honesty why ask us that live in Egypt for an opinion then disagree with what we say?


----------



## missscottish

Hi maidenscotland..... was that question for me or highvoltagehair?


----------



## MaidenScotland

The question is to everyone who asks... Is my man different?

I am not involved nor ever have been with a local man.. my previous job was to basically try and help women that had been fleeced out of all their money/property/found out that he was already married/found out they he took a second wife after marrying them...and what can be done legally for them and basically that is nothing on the whole all I could do was hand them the tissues whilst they sat and cried in my office and said What a fool I have been, I should have listened to the stories I had been told.

I have heard all the stories and it doesn't make for good reading.

I have many Egyptian friends and I have friends that are married to Egyptian men and all long term happily married but each and every one of them are married to professional men who have money in their own right, can get visa's to the west, are educated, nor have they tried to turn their wife into a good Egyptian wifeland the ones that have changed their religion have done so only on paper so that if anything happened to their spouse their children would not be taken from them


People here will smile when you tell them you have an Egyptian boyfriend and then wait for your to say 

My Mohammed is different.... 

Now there is a business opportunity for someone... teeshirts with that printed on it. They will sell by the thousand.

Maiden.


----------



## aykalam

MaidenScotland said:


> My Mohammed is different....
> 
> Now there is a business opportunity for someone... teeshirts with that printed on it. They will sell by the thousand.
> 
> Maiden.


:spit: Make sure you register the patent, quick!

:clap2::clap2::clap2:


----------



## bat

Yes,well said except changing your religion is no guarantee you keep the children, ask any Egyptian divorced woman, of any religion.


----------



## highvoltagehair

MaidenScotland said:


> The question is to everyone who asks... Is my man different?
> 
> I have heard all the stories and it doesn't make for good reading.


I guess you weren't talking to me then! And I'll be sure to send you (and some other ppl on this forum) MY story! 

And missscottish, I have some new advice for you. Screw what ppl are saying on here. You have common sense. All of these rants about Egy men only apply to a particular breed of Egyptian man. And your man does not sound like one of them. And you've already met this guy. Go visit Egypt again, enjoy yourself, and see how it goes with this man of yours. Best wishes, and I hope you're able to prove some people wrong!

*And just to prove a point, here's a checklist for you:*

1. Are you an OLD LADY?
2. Are you wealthy?
3. Do you often vacation in Egypt Resorts looking for young Egy studs to groom?
4. Is he dirt poor, and struggling for work in his village?
5. Does he go on and on about his dream of being a Scottish bagpiper? 
6. Does he keep you away from his family and not talk about them?

I'm guessing the answer is *NO* to these questions. So, there ya go! He's legit  hahahaha


----------



## MaidenScotland

highvoltagehair said:


> I guess you weren't talking to me then! And I'll be sure to send you (and some other ppl on this forum) MY story!
> 
> And missscottish, I have some new advice for you. Screw what ppl are saying on here. You have common sense. All of these rants about Egy men only apply to a particular breed of Egyptian man. And your man does not sound like one of them. And you've already met this guy. Go visit Egypt again, enjoy yourself, and see how it goes with this man of yours. Best wishes, and I hope you're able to prove some people wrong!
> 
> *And just to prove a point, here's a checklist for you:*
> 
> 1. Are you an OLD LADY?
> 2. Are you wealthy?
> 3. Do you often vacation in Egypt Resorts looking for young Egy studs to groom?
> 4. Is he dirt poor, and struggling for work in his village?
> 5. Does he go on and on about his dream of being a Scottish bagpiper?
> 6. Does he keep you away from his family and not talk about them?
> 
> I'm guessing the answer is *NO* to these questions. So, there ya go! He's legit  hahahaha




You have already told us your story... 

If anyone is 100% sure of their man they wont be on here asking.. it's that simple.
Are you saying it's ok to fleece women if they are old?
What you are told on the phone, by email are words nothing else.


----------



## highvoltagehair

MaidenScotland said:


> You have already told us your story...
> 
> If anyone is 100% sure of their man they wont be on here asking.. it's that simple.
> Are you saying it's ok to fleece women if they are old?
> What you are told on the phone, by email are words nothing else.


First, I didn't tell YOU my story...I was giving advice to a girl who asked for it.

No, girls have to ask because when they go online and google "Egypt", the first thing that pops up is some website with some horror story or warning for women. And then, EVERY girl gets sketched out about her man. 

And no...just like you are generalizing about every Egy man, I am generalizing about the "WARNING SIGNS" AKA being a smart butt, thank you. 

Hmmm, OK, Yes you're right, they are just words. Let me call my bf and tell him it's over... because he is probably scamming me. That's what you want, right?


----------



## MaidenScotland

highvoltagehair said:


> First, I didn't tell YOU my story...I was giving advice to a girl who asked for it.
> 
> No, girls have to ask because when they go online and google "Egypt", the first thing that pops up is some website with some horror story or warning for women. And then, EVERY girl gets sketched out about her man.
> 
> And no...just like you are generalizing about every Egy man, I am generalizing about the "WARNING SIGNS" AKA being a smart butt, thank you.
> 
> Hmmm, OK, Yes you're right, they are just words. Let me call my bf and tell him it's over... because he is probably scamming me. That's what you want, right?




You did tell your story.. it is an open forum for all to read..


Now I wonder why this happens? 

"No, girls have to ask because when they go online and google "Egypt", the first thing that pops up is some website with some horror story or warning for women. And then, EVERY girl gets sketched out about her man. ? 


I think I may just know a whole lot more than you do about Egyptian men.. I live here and I dealt with the aftermath of broken hearts making me a bit more savvy than what goes on.

You can do what you like with your boyfriend but don't complain when you write on a forum and no one tells you how wonderful and great it must be to have a man calling you from halfway round the world with declarations of love.

You didn't answer my question... so you think it is alright for them to scam women if they are old?


----------



## DeadGuy

highvoltagehair said:


> ...............
> No, girls have to ask because when they go online and google "Egypt", the first thing that pops up is some website with some horror story or warning for women.
> .................


Hi,

First of all, sorry about editing your post.........But don't you think that the results given by Google are there for some reason?! Or you think Google got something personal against the Egyptian "men"?!

Oh and please do read where I'm from before you........get defensive again?!


----------



## bat

DeadGuy said:


> Hi,
> 
> First of all, sorry about editing your post.........But don't you think that the results given by Google are there for some reason?! Or you think Google got something personal against the Egyptian "men"?!
> 
> Oh and please do read where I'm from before you........get defensive again?!


I think we seem to be missing something here.
What, as foreigners we see as a scam, is by egyptian standards legit.
As foreigners we have the luxury of marrying for any reason we like, be it love, money, security or companionship.
Egyptians on the other hand have other reasons,
Once you get past religion,education and of course the cousin, then it's financial.
So picking a foreigner, ( European or American) with a passport that could get you and your whole family out to a better future, is perfectly legit, that's why there eager to tell there family, who of course encourage them,
Or a foreigner, who stays here has a much better chance of earning more salary than they do and giving them a life style they would never in a million yrs attain .
The problem is here the foreigners have no family protection. If my daughter Evan thought of someone out of her social background. Then the family would soon put a stop to it. As both would know there would be disaster.
Don't give the Egyptian culture the same attributes as Europeans or Americans .
What they do with foreign woman is for them legitimate that's why they come across as sincere. Bat


----------



## missscottish

All getting a bit controversial on here!!  
Sorry for bring nosey highvoltagehair, but have you meet you ur man before? & yeah the answers to all ur questions were no!! I'm not desperate just trying to find out more as you said these sites put things in ur head!! & from seeing things on this forum this is what has made me doubt as I know usually these kind of guys r experts so everyones gota keep their wits about them I suppose. 

Maidenscotland - you seem to know alot. I don't think he is scamming me, he'd b choosing the wrong person. I have money, but would say he probably has more than me considering he has his own small business. I suppose I'm just a bit wary of all this 4 & 5 wives malarky. 
As for being heart broken too, I would just get a flight home. I suppose I'm just looking for something to not b right & to go wrong as everything seems too good to be true haha!! But I suppose this all to do with my own confidence.


----------



## missscottish

Bat, out of curiosity what experience do you have?


----------



## MaidenScotland

If an Egyptian man treats you the same as he would allow his sister to be treated then he is an o.k


----------



## aykalam

MaidenScotland said:


> If an Egyptian man treats you the same as he would allow his sister to be treated then he is an o.k


I beg to differ 

I don't like to stereotype, but very often Egyptian women are treated like dirt by their own families


----------



## missscottish

Appreciate your advice Maidenscotland, I will defo keep my wits about me.I suppose it's just nerve racking because I'd b in a different country with no family to run to for help if things did go wrong


----------



## MaidenScotland

aykalam said:


> I beg to differ
> 
> I don't like to stereotype, but very often Egyptian women are treated like dirt by their own families




lol I knew there would be one.. but on the whole they want their sisters treated like princesses


----------



## NZCowboy

MaidenScotland said:


> If an Egyptian man treats you the same as he would allow his sister to be treated then he is an o.k


He won't allow his sister to talk to some stranger on the internet or phone ....


----------



## NZCowboy

aykalam said:


> I beg to differ
> 
> I don't like to stereotype, but very often Egyptian women are treated like dirt by their own families


They may be treated like dirt, but they are very protective of her honour


----------



## MaidenScotland

aykalam said:


> I beg to differ
> 
> I don't like to stereotype, but very often Egyptian women are treated like dirt by their own families




Ahh now that is a whole different ball game... most Egyptians would not allow their sister to be approached on line, or in the streets etc nor would he allow her to buy him a phone, give him money etc etc


----------



## missscottish

Akalam.... same question as I asked bat, what experience do you have?


----------



## bat

aykalam said:


> I beg to differ
> 
> I don't like to stereotype, but very often Egyptian women are treated like dirt by their own families


Yes, as out siders we see how they treat there woman different( putting it nice) but she said how they like them to be treAted. 
Brothers, will often stop girls from marrying if they need them to look after aging parents.
My friend 32 her brother 25 beats them all ( mother 2 other sisters) and takes her foreign salary.she moved into a bed sit and is now ostracized, for giving her self and family a bad reputation, and the sad part is she agrees with them so is ashamed. These are university educated people.
So out in the street the men will beat any body who looks sideways at a female member of there family but will still go home and beat the crap out of them for talking on the phone to a male friend.
The sad part is the woman are the ones who spend 90% of the time with the children and still pass these roles to the different sexes.
When ever my daughter or I get into any hassle on the street, she shames them by asking about there sisters and mothers as they'd kill any one who spoke the way some of them do.
Who do you think marries these poor village girls off to summer visitors, for 2-3 months that there here. Do you think the girls get the money.
Don't get me started on this, makes me see red bat


----------



## SHendra

Hey all, not posted for a while but still been around reading etc.

To the ladies currently seeking info on Egyptian men I can give you some of my experiences. Lived here 6 years now and with an Egyptian man. I also have a 9 month old baby boy. 

I was married to this man but divorced him in 2009(not many on here know this!). We obviously got back together and had a child. I just say 'husband' due to the society we live in. But shock horror I just live with the guy!

Now would I marry him again? No I would not!!!

Want my reasons? Well you no choice I'm gonna blurt them.. 

Whilst not married he can not brush me under some rug with the I can not be out past 12 at night. I can not have friends in my home. I can not wear as I wish! Ok I ain't running around in mini skirts but at the same time I ain't wearing polo neck shirts in the heat of summer! I have boobs I can not hide that 'fact'. 

And yes everyone one I have come accross with a Egyptian man have got the same story! I even know of another british lady in this City I live in (Alexandria) that if she is out so much past midnight he will wait for her on the roof of the building angry until she is in! I have met many other expats here to not just British or Americans. Other nationalities too. One who stands out was Bulgarian who got 'sweet talked' came here to be with the guy who convinced her she had to change her religion! So she did none the wiser. He then had her at home all the time.. just to see me he was 'chaperoning her'! If he was out then he had his mother babysit her or locked her into the flat. One day I finally got her understanding that even if shes a muslim woman this is WRONG! She finally saw sense and left him.

May seam a little extreme me saying stuff like this but I know for certain I am not the only woman who have found this situation with an Egyptian man.. and if you like we can remove the Egyptian title and place Middle-Eastern/North African! 

Forget the money stories you heard there just the small/start of it. Even if the man is genuine you will still encounter differences! Religion.. Your aware you no say in any children you have here you no say in their faith? Law wise too not just 'man wise'.

It's easy for women seeking info on this subject thinking there guy will be different! Maybe he will.. not saying he won't for the record. But other than what all the other ladies who have posted who lives in Egypt! (One of who been here 20 years... ) Not one of them have said something that is not true!

So when your doing a check list on 'your man' take in mind the following:

Does he take a penny from you? A Egyptian man who is 'good' would be offended if you so much buy a coffee for him! If he 'good' like this then = he' could be ok!

Can he get visa wherever on his own merit? If so = then he could be ok!

Does he work hard for his living?
Does he help take care of his family?
Does he accept you as YOU.. (I'd say this is the most important part)?

You should also answer some questions yourself like..

Can you accept that here there is no equality between male and females?
Can you accept there be different rules for him than yourself?
What about jealousy? Thats culture he won't like anyone batting an eyelash at you who is male and feel the right to make you not get 'looked' at so much even if that means you don't go out much at all! 

When it comes to seeking info it goes alot further than money. OF course thats one of the first queries but the main questions you should be asking are cultureal and it also goes alot further than what clothes you wear. It goes as far as 'what time your allowed to be out to!' like your a teen living with your folks again. IT also goes as far as 'can my friends come over to play a movie with me' 

This is the truth of it. This is not another 'horror' story this is someone who been living in it for the past 6 years and counting the days until I move home.

Oh and yes I had all the 'warnings' in the beginning to. But will say I learnt a big lessons!


----------



## DeadGuy

bat said:


> Yes, as out siders we see how they treat there woman different( putting it nice) but she said how they like them to be treAted.
> Brothers, will often stop girls from marrying if they need them to look after aging parents.
> My friend 32 her brother 25 beats them all ( mother 2 other sisters) and takes her foreign salary.she moved into a bed sit and is now ostracized, for giving her self and family a bad reputation, and the sad part is she agrees with them so is ashamed. These are university educated people.
> So out in the street the men will beat any body who looks sideways at a female member of there family but will still go home and beat the crap out of them for talking on the phone to a male friend.
> The sad part is the woman are the ones who spend 90% of the time with the children and still pass these roles to the different sexes.
> When ever my daughter or I get into any hassle on the street, she shames them by asking about there sisters and mothers as they'd kill any one who spoke the way some of them do.
> Who do you think marries these poor village girls off to summer visitors, for 2-3 months that there here. Do you think the girls get the money.
> Don't get me started on this, makes me see red bat


Very sad......But very true, and very common in here as well.....


----------



## missscottish

I don't get what part of what ur saying is relevant bat!? 
The women on this forum are not to my knowledge Egyptian & possibly not Muslim. 
I dint have a brother.... my male cousins get a bit over protective but a swift kick soon puts them in their place haha!!


----------



## bat

missscottish said:


> I don't get what part of what ur saying is relevant bat!?
> The women on this forum are not to my knowledge Egyptian & possibly not Muslim.
> I dint have a brother.... my male cousins get a bit over protective but a swift kick soon puts them in their place haha!!


 Yes a swift kick puts them in there place out side of Egypt but no female would dare do this or want to do this in Egypt. What ever there religion and they expect the same from wives Evan foreign wives.


----------



## Sonrisa

SHendra said:


> Hey all, not posted for a while but still been around reading etc.
> 
> To the ladies currently seeking info on Egyptian men I can give you some of my experiences. Lived here 6 years now and with an Egyptian man. I also have a 9 month old baby boy.
> 
> I was married to this man but divorced him in 2009(not many on here know this!). We obviously got back together and had a child. I just say 'husband' due to the society we live in. But shock horror I just live with the guy!
> 
> Now would I marry him again? No I would not!!!
> 
> Want my reasons? Well you no choice I'm gonna blurt them..
> 
> Whilst not married he can not brush me under some rug with the I can not be out past 12 at night. I can not have friends in my home. I can not wear as I wish! Ok I ain't running around in mini skirts but at the same time I ain't wearing polo neck shirts in the heat of summer! I have boobs I can not hide that 'fact'.
> 
> And yes everyone one I have come accross with a Egyptian man have got the same story! I even know of another british lady in this City I live in (Alexandria) that if she is out so much past midnight he will wait for her on the roof of the building angry until she is in! I have met many other expats here to not just British or Americans. Other nationalities too. One who stands out was Bulgarian who got 'sweet talked' came here to be with the guy who convinced her she had to change her religion! So she did none the wiser. He then had her at home all the time.. just to see me he was 'chaperoning her'! If he was out then he had his mother babysit her or locked her into the flat. One day I finally got her understanding that even if shes a muslim woman this is WRONG! She finally saw sense and left him.
> 
> May seam a little extreme me saying stuff like this but I know for certain I am not the only woman who have found this situation with an Egyptian man.. and if you like we can remove the Egyptian title and place Middle-Eastern/North African!
> 
> Forget the money stories you heard there just the small/start of it. Even if the man is genuine you will still encounter differences! Religion.. Your aware you no say in any children you have here you no say in their faith? Law wise too not just 'man wise'.
> 
> It's easy for women seeking info on this subject thinking there guy will be different! Maybe he will.. not saying he won't for the record. But other than what all the other ladies who have posted who lives in Egypt! (One of who been here 20 years... ) Not one of them have said something that is not true!
> 
> So when your doing a check list on 'your man' take in mind the following:
> 
> Does he take a penny from you? A Egyptian man who is 'good' would be offended if you so much buy a coffee for him! If he 'good' like this then = he' could be ok!
> 
> Can he get visa wherever on his own merit? If so = then he could be ok!
> 
> Does he work hard for his living?
> Does he help take care of his family?
> Does he accept you as YOU.. (I'd say this is the most important part)?
> 
> You should also answer some questions yourself like..
> 
> Can you accept that here there is no equality between male and females?
> Can you accept there be different rules for him than yourself?
> What about jealousy? Thats culture he won't like anyone batting an eyelash at you who is male and feel the right to make you not get 'looked' at so much even if that means you don't go out much at all!
> 
> When it comes to seeking info it goes alot further than money. OF course thats one of the first queries but the main questions you should be asking are cultureal and it also goes alot further than what clothes you wear. It goes as far as 'what time your allowed to be out to!' like your a teen living with your folks again. IT also goes as far as 'can my friends come over to play a movie with me'
> 
> This is the truth of it. This is not another 'horror' story this is someone who been living in it for the past 6 years and counting the days until I move home.
> 
> Oh and yes I had all the 'warnings' in the beginning to. But will say I learnt a big lessons!


 Shendra!  I had been wondering where you were lately! Glad to know you are doing well, and hope you get back home soon


----------



## missscottish

Where are you from bat? Are u suggesting that all men control the women in their lives & possibly use violence?


----------



## bat

missscottish said:


> Where are you from bat? Are u suggesting that all men control the women in their lives & possibly use violence?


No I'm saying in Egypt they do and it's allowed and advocated. I'm here for 20 yrs from uk married to an Egyptian. Using violence against female members in your family and children is not against the law. But a male who spends the night in a room with unrelated female is breaking the law( she could be had for prostitution) have seen young girls in a cage in court for said same thing.bat


----------



## missscottish

So for example, if I moved to Egypt u think this is what could happen then?


----------



## bat

missscottish said:


> So for example, if I moved to Egypt u think this is what could happen then?


No not at all.it hasn't happened to me or my children, but I'm saying what we see as legit in uk is not always so in Egypt. What as foreigners we see as abhorrent in uk is quite normal here.if you choose to live here you live by what is considered norm here, like having up to 4 wives, it's allowed, and so why not I don't have any problem with it but,it's not for me . Bat


----------



## Sam

I think Shendra's post has been a little over looked and I'd encourage OP to read it again and then re-read it. She knows what she's talking about and has some very good points.

How about me... my EX husband was Egyptian, he loved me, he wasn't dirt poor, he wasn't a con man, he wasn't after a passport, money or visa - but guess what... we're divorced after only a 2 year marriage. Your Egyptian "habibi" doesn't have to be a scumbag to not be compatible, that is what I was trying to emphasise in my post. Quite simply the majority of Egyptian men just don't understand (or if they do, don't agree) with western ways. If I knew then what I know now I would not be a divorced mother. In the future I have to face my child being forced into Islam. She's not even 3 right now, she struggles counting to 10 but knows how to pray. You have to understand that Islam in Egypt is not a religion, it is a way of life and it is thrust down your throat if you like it or not. And the Koran is not a religious text, it is a history book. And by the way, the changes don't start until you got a ring on your finger, then you become "owned" and are expected to "comply". You will be told that it's not about his opinion, but what everybody else will think of him if he lets you do such and such, wear such and such etc.

And my story is the common scenario for those that aren't scammed. Even those relationships that are currently going well, if you get another Egyptian man to speak to her husband I can guarantee he has a different take on the relationship. As MS has stated, there is hope for some relationships, but the only ones I know that last are with professional men who 100% accept their woman in the exact way that they met her.


----------



## missscottish

Sam said:


> I think Shendra's post has been a little over looked and I'd encourage OP to read it again and then re-read it. She knows what she's talking about and has some very good points.
> 
> How about me... my EX husband was Egyptian, he loved me, he wasn't dirt poor, he wasn't a con man, he wasn't after a passport, money or visa - but guess what... we're divorced after only a 2 year marriage. Your Egyptian "habibi" doesn't have to be a scumbag to not be compatible, that is what I was trying to emphasise in my post. Quite simply the majority of Egyptian men just don't understand (or if they do, don't agree) with western ways. If I knew then what I know now I would not be a divorced mother. In the future I have to face my child being forced into Islam. She's not even 3 right now, she struggles counting to 10 but knows how to pray. You have to understand that Islam in Egypt is not a religion, it is a way of life and it is thrust down your throat if you like it or not. And the Koran is not a religious text, it is a history book. And by the way, the changes don't start until you got a ring on your finger, then you become "owned" and are expected to "comply". You will be told that it's not about his opinion, but what everybody else will think of him if he lets you do such and such, wear such and such etc.
> 
> And my story is the common scenario for those that aren't scammed. Even those relationships that are currently going well, if you get another Egyptian man to speak to her husband I can guarantee he has a different take on the relationship. As MS has stated, there is hope for some relationships, but the only ones I know that last are with professional men who 100% accept their woman in the exact way that they met her.


Thanks Sam, u make alot of good points in your post, I will take this all on board, thank you


----------



## bat

Sam said:


> I think Shendra's post has been a little over looked and I'd encourage OP to read it again and then re-read it. She knows what she's talking about and has some very good points.
> 
> How about me... my EX husband was Egyptian, he loved me, he wasn't dirt poor, he wasn't a con man, he wasn't after a passport, money or visa - but guess what... we're divorced after only a 2 year marriage. Your Egyptian "habibi" doesn't have to be a scumbag to not be compatible, that is what I was trying to emphasise in my post. Quite simply the majority of Egyptian men just don't understand (or if they do, don't agree) with western ways. If I knew then what I know now I would not be a divorced mother. In the future I have to face my child being forced into Islam. She's not even 3 right now, she struggles counting to 10 but knows how to pray. You have to understand that Islam in Egypt is not a religion, it is a way of life and it is thrust down your throat if you like it or not. And the Koran is not a religious text, it is a history book. And by the way, the changes don't start until you got a ring on your finger, then you become "owned" and are expected to "comply". You will be told that it's not about his opinion, but what everybody else will think of him if he lets you do such and such,
> wear such and such etc.
> 
> And my story is the common scenario for those that aren't scammed. Even those relationships that are currently going well, if you get another Egyptian man to speak to her husband I can guarantee he has a different take on the relationship. As MS has stated, there is hope for some relationships, but the only ones I know that last are with professional men who 100% accept their woman in the exact way that they met her.


Or maybe the woman has changed because she wanted to.
Not 100% but if they take on there religion they can be more zealous than the husbands. ( talking about both/all religions). I accepted my husband 100 % the way he is, because there's nothing out there interesting for me that I want to do on my own.been there done that, sort of mentality.having said that, if anything happened not only would I not marry another Egyptian I'd not marry full stop.I'm not domesticated at all.


----------



## missscottish

Ok well moving on 2 more important things..... Where is all the fashion retail stores near Sharm? haha...... or is there any?


----------



## bat

missscottish said:


> Ok well moving on 2 more important things..... Where is all the fashion retail stores near Sharm? haha...... or is there any?


I'm in Cairo not sharm,but don't shop in either. Happy to wear what my mum brings sends or given. Not one for fashion statements, except when I put something on inside out and see if I can get away with it. Most of the time I do!! Bat


----------



## SHendra

I know there can be success stories. But for the majority like Sam pointed that once the ring on the finger then every little thing becomes a big thing. I had things from Cooking been snuffed at right to how I may or may not wash a plate! Also right to how to hang the clothes on the line! I was married before to a British man who I was widowed from. That marriage was a success and no matter what I did or how I did it, it was appriciated. And took that not every person does things the same way. 

Here it's different there is not a general each to their own. Once you marry a Egyptian man your not just marrying him. Your marrying everyone else in the family! And even though somethings can be nice your soon find that they like to interfeer in everything you do! Right down to the underwear you wear! It is funny in somethings it's a way of coping I have my humour but I seriously do have a large bag of clothing that was brought for me hidden in the back of the wardrobe of them trying to decide what 'undies' are okay for me to have! This is a small thing but what I am saying is it's there way or not at all simple as! No matter how many times I have said 'this is not me!'. Other things too.. how I use a hoover is often commented on too! Or how I clean a bathroom! From this I may sound to you I have 'no clue' how to run a home. I do.. just the same way many of you ladies would do in USA, UK and so on forth! Hell even using a mop to wash the floor was a big issue to.. no I was expected to get on my hands and knees with a cloth and go around that way! No wonder so many born here have back problems!

All these things may sound petty and non important but these things we all do in our day to day lives and when you get day to day your not doing this right etc after a while it starts to get to you and your confidence start to shrink! I did get lucky in the sense my 'habibi' mother and sister are great girls and I do get on with them fantastic but they don't 100% understand me when I feel a bit of Cabin fever of not getting out much.

As for having a child here even this has proven to be a huge cultural shock here! My boy was born in April where the weather was nice.. not to hot and not cold too.. but would anyone let me take him anywhere? Nope! It's too cold! He needs more blankets on him! I snapped told him were not in Alaska! And started to do my own thing and trusted my instincts but man I had a lot of snide remarks doing so! 

I've had Egyptian girlfriends too.. and whenever I've gone to them like we would say a girlfriend in our own countries to talk about problems too they do not seem to understand where I am coming from. Most of them accept that home is the place to be and thats it! There just to marry and have kids! I know not all of them think this way but a huge majority do. My guy even feels it his right to go through his sister phone to ensure she isn't being come on to by some guy somewhere! She's 28! 

I had alot of friends when I first came by as time went on found I had none.. they all got either chased of or where out to cause me more problems. Male and FEMALE! 

One of the biggest shocks was not many see marriage as a extention of a friendship! I actually have more of a friendship with my 'habibi' more now I am not married to the guy than I ever did in marriage! In marriage his words were often 'your just my wife' 'most egyptian women are happy to just get out once a week for the grocerys' and I'm pretty sure some women reading this will know these lines. 

Yes theres scammers after the visa and money but for those who are not there's a totally different game and infact there innocent in this as it's just the way they have been raised. They are the head of the household full stop. I accepted mine as I found him but he never did towards me. He never fully realised how much I did give up coming here to be with him. Instead I was expected to near on change everything about me and more. Which means the words you hear in the beginning are nothing but shells. More like a spider trying to lure you into his web! 

Now another thing to think of when your trying to work out if the guy good or not is why he is interested. I wonder if these ladies are aware that had they been an Egyptian girl then she would 1: not have to spend a penny 2: Expect a flat 3: Furnished 4: Gold gold gold 5: to be took care of 100%.

For the professional Egyptians of course there more educated and can provide they have the choice of who they can fall for etc. For the non professionals they have alot of work in store should they seek to marry a local girl so many seam to go a 'easier' way. And of course to get 'any wink wink' they need to marry the Egyptian girl they no chance otherwise unless they pay! Although I know this is not in all cases but in most cases it is.

With foreign women it's slightly easier they know were not likely to be demanding things a local girl would do. They also think it be easier far as the wink wink goes. I known many Egyptians over the past 6 years who have come up to me asking me if I have a friend I can introduce them too! As they don't want a local girl and their main reason is they would have to marry have to get property etc etc etc etc


----------



## MaidenScotland

There is also the fact that female circumcision is illegal but is still practised regularly so you may have a husband whose family believe in it and you will have very little if any say in the matter.

Maiden


----------



## missscottish

SHendra said:


> I know there can be success stories. But for the majority like Sam pointed that once the ring on the finger then every little thing becomes a big thing. I had things from Cooking been snuffed at right to how I may or may not wash a plate! Also right to how to hang the clothes on the line! I was married before to a British man who I was widowed from. That marriage was a success and no matter what I did or how I did it, it was appriciated. And took that not every person does things the same way.
> 
> Here it's different there is not a general each to their own. Once you marry a Egyptian man your not just marrying him. Your marrying everyone else in the family! And even though somethings can be nice your soon find that they like to interfeer in everything you do! Right down to the underwear you wear! It is funny in somethings it's a way of coping I have my humour but I seriously do have a large bag of clothing that was brought for me hidden in the back of the wardrobe of them trying to decide what 'undies' are okay for me to have! This is a small thing but what I am saying is it's there way or not at all simple as! No matter how many times I have said 'this is not me!'. Other things too.. how I use a hoover is often commented on too! Or how I clean a bathroom! From this I may sound to you I have 'no clue' how to run a home. I do.. just the same way many of you ladies would do in USA, UK and so on forth! Hell even using a mop to wash the floor was a big issue to.. no I was expected to get on my hands and knees with a cloth and go around that way! No wonder so many born here have back problems!
> 
> All these things may sound petty and non important but these things we all do in our day to day lives and when you get day to day your not doing this right etc after a while it starts to get to you and your confidence start to shrink! I did get lucky in the sense my 'habibi' mother and sister are great girls and I do get on with them fantastic but they don't 100% understand me when I feel a bit of Cabin fever of not getting out much.
> 
> As for having a child here even this has proven to be a huge cultural shock here! My boy was born in April where the weather was nice.. not to hot and not cold too.. but would anyone let me take him anywhere? Nope! It's too cold! He needs more blankets on him! I snapped told him were not in Alaska! And started to do my own thing and trusted my instincts but man I had a lot of snide remarks doing so!
> 
> I've had Egyptian girlfriends too.. and whenever I've gone to them like we would say a girlfriend in our own countries to talk about problems too they do not seem to understand where I am coming from. Most of them accept that home is the place to be and thats it! There just to marry and have kids! I know not all of them think this way but a huge majority do. My guy even feels it his right to go through his sister phone to ensure she isn't being come on to by some guy somewhere! She's 28!
> 
> I had alot of friends when I first came by as time went on found I had none.. they all got either chased of or where out to cause me more problems. Male and FEMALE!
> 
> One of the biggest shocks was not many see marriage as a extention of a friendship! I actually have more of a friendship with my 'habibi' more now I am not married to the guy than I ever did in marriage! In marriage his words were often 'your just my wife' 'most egyptian women are happy to just get out once a week for the grocerys' and I'm pretty sure some women reading this will know these lines.
> 
> Yes theres scammers after the visa and money but for those who are not there's a totally different game and infact there innocent in this as it's just the way they have been raised. They are the head of the household full stop. I accepted mine as I found him but he never did towards me. He never fully realised how much I did give up coming here to be with him. Instead I was expected to near on change everything about me and more. Which means the words you hear in the beginning are nothing but shells. More like a spider trying to lure you into his web!
> 
> Now another thing to think of when your trying to work out if the guy good or not is why he is interested. I wonder if these ladies are aware that had they been an Egyptian girl then she would 1: not have to spend a penny 2: Expect a flat 3: Furnished 4: Gold gold gold 5: to be took care of 100%.
> 
> For the professional Egyptians of course there more educated and can provide they have the choice of who they can fall for etc. For the non professionals they have alot of work in store should they seek to marry a local girl so many seam to go a 'easier' way. And of course to get 'any wink wink' they need to marry the Egyptian girl they no chance otherwise unless they pay! Although I know this is not in all cases but in most cases it is.
> 
> With foreign women it's slightly easier they know were not likely to be demanding things a local girl would do. They also think it be easier far as the wink wink goes. I known many Egyptians over the past 6 years who have come up to me asking me if I have a friend I can introduce them too! As they don't want a local girl and their main reason is they would have to marry have to get property etc etc etc etc


SHendra, really useful comment, thank you!! Luckily I'm really stubborn so hope I won't change for anyone. However I know this easier said than done if someone is slowly but surely grinding you down to make you change. I will look out for certain things early on in a relationship. Thanks for sharing your personal experience


----------



## missscottish

Oh not sure I could trust my mums choice in clothes haha!!
Sure I could just give her a list


----------



## missscottish

MaidenScotland said:


> There is also the fact that female circumcision is illegal but is still practised regularly so you may have a husband whose family believe in it and you will have very little if any say in the matter.
> 
> Maiden


Female circumcision? Is this here they remove your clitoris!? 
& if so, is this forced upon you?


----------



## MaidenScotland

There was a women who married a local man and came here to live. I offered to meet her for a coffee et and she was keen and gave me her husbands phone number.. I phoned but she was busy with family for a couple of days and said she would phone me back, several days later I got an email saying her husband had not saved the number and could I ring her?
I was contacting another women who posts on here saying I was meeting X then I told her about the not saving the number. I told the poster... I just know he is not going to let me speak to her.
I rang and rang and he never once answered the phone> I have never seen nor heard from her to this day.


----------



## MaidenScotland

missscottish said:


> Female circumcision? Is this here they remove your clitoris!?
> & if so, is this forced upon you?




Well I don't think any girl would volunteer for it.

If you married a local man and his family believed in the practice then yes I think your daughter would be circumcised regardless of your thoughts on it.


----------



## SHendra

missscottish said:


> SHendra, really useful comment, thank you!! Luckily I'm really stubborn so hope I won't change for anyone. However I know this easier said than done if someone is slowly but surely grinding you down to make you change. I will look out for certain things early on in a relationship. Thanks for sharing your personal experience


Your welcome. But i'll be clear I am also stubburn after all I did divorce. Took a long time for him to grasp the he can't order me around. Nowadays I just do as I see fit. But it can still be hard going.. I think he caved in more for the peacefull kind of life. 

All I can say to you is test the guy. Don't let him know you know all this information. I ain't saying come with a full set of horns and provoke. I'm saying come and carry on doing as you would do back home. Wear your normal clothes.. I mean casual.. jeans a t'shirt and watch how he reacts. Watch his body language when you go out and I bet you he will be looking at all the men and see if their looking at you! Ignore it don't say anything wait until he says something but least be prepared. Fact here is you will get looked at but it won't have anything to do with what you wear it be the fact your foreign and female!  

Maybe suddenly get the urge to go for a walk at 1am to! Seams crazy but it will also make you see how he thinks and believes. Like anywhere just commen sense whenever you go out etc .. lit areas, people etc! And most of all he should not be expecting you to pay for anything at all! This isn't about seeing if he out to con you this is about this will show you also if he's good or not in how he treats a 'lady'. This is how it is here. Btw there is no 'come back for mine for a coffee here?' for that he should point blank refuse! After all he would not for a Egyptian woman. Think about that.


----------



## missscottish

MaidenScotland said:


> Well I don't think any girl would volunteer for it.
> 
> If you married a local man and his family believed in the practice then yes I think your daughter would be circumcised regardless of your thoughts on it.


Well I would certainly find out if this their belief before hand, thanks for the heads up. 
I'm not planning on kids ryt now, but I know that whoever I eventually (if I do) have kids to, would need to kill me before doing something I am against just for the sake of their own belief. But understand this may be difficult if surrounded by people who believe this ok, might be a bit out numbered :/


----------



## missscottish

SHendra said:


> Your welcome. But i'll be clear I am also stubburn after all I did divorce. Took a long time for him to grasp the he can't order me around. Nowadays I just do as I see fit. But it can still be hard going.. I think he caved in more for the peacefull kind of life.
> 
> All I can say to you is test the guy. Don't let him know you know all this information. I ain't saying come with a full set of horns and provoke. I'm saying come and carry on doing as you would do back home. Wear your normal clothes.. I mean casual.. jeans a t'shirt and watch how he reacts. Watch his body language when you go out and I bet you he will be looking at all the men and see if their looking at you! Ignore it don't say anything wait until he says something but least be prepared. Fact here is you will get looked at but it won't have anything to do with what you wear it be the fact your foreign and female!
> 
> Maybe suddenly get the urge to go for a walk at 1am to! Seams crazy but it will also make you see how he thinks and believes. Like anywhere just commen sense whenever you go out etc .. lit areas, people etc! And most of all he should not be expecting you to pay for anything at all! This isn't about seeing if he out to con you this is about this will show you also if he's good or not in how he treats a 'lady'. This is how it is here. Btw there is no 'come back for mine for a coffee here?' for that he should point blank refuse! After all he would not for a Egyptian woman. Think about that.


I wouldn't dare mention any of this to be honest.,... More to not offend as he hasn't gave me any reason yet to think these things. 
Good thing us he has already seen me in casual day clothes, night time dressy up clothes & he just complimented me. Alot of men did look & mumble something in Arabic & he always just made me feel safe & smiled & told me they were passing comment on how lucky he was..... really need to learn Arabic tho so I know more haha!! 
He is already offering to pay for alot, but I'm very proud so we have agreed that I can buy some food when I visit haha!! 
Sometimes crosses my mind though that by them paying for everything is that not a way for them to try & control you?


----------



## MaidenScotland

Egypt death sparks debate on female circumcision | Reuters

Regardless the law being changed 3 years ago 

Egypt doctor 'arrested in girl circumcision death'

I cannot find the news report on it but I remember the family saying they had no idea the doctor was doing it.. which in my opinion is rubbish


----------



## MaidenScotland

missscottish said:


> I wouldn't dare mention any of this to be honest.,... More to not offend as he hasn't gave me any reason yet to think these things.
> Good thing us he has already seen me in casual day clothes, night time dressy up clothes & he just complimented me. Alot of men did look & mumble something in Arabic & he always just made me feel safe & smiled & told me they were passing comment on how lucky he was..... really need to learn Arabic tho so I know more haha!!
> He is already offering to pay for alot, but I'm very proud so we have agreed that I can buy some food when I visit haha!!
> Sometimes crosses my mind though that by them paying for everything is that not a way for them to try & control you?




Of course he has seen you in your holiday clothes and he said that he was proud of you... but once your his wife then it will be a whole different story..


----------



## MaidenScotland

Actually to be fair to the man he might not care what you wear but his family might and we will side with his family and tell you to change,


----------



## bat

SHendra said:


> I know there can be success stories. But for the majority like Sam pointed that once the ring on the finger then every little thing becomes a big thing. I had things from Cooking been snuffed at right to how I may or may not wash a plate! Also right to how to hang the clothes on the line! I was married before to a British man who I was widowed from. That marriage was a success and no matter what I did or how I did it, it was appriciated. And took that not every person does things the same way.
> 
> Here it's different there is not a general each to their own. Once you marry a Egyptian man your not just marrying him. Your marrying everyone else in the family! And even though somethings can be nice your soon find that they like to interfeer in everything you do! Right down to the underwear you wear! It is funny in somethings it's a way of coping I have my humour but I seriously do have a large bag of clothing that was brought for me hidden in the back of the wardrobe of them trying to decide what 'undies' are okay for me to have! This is a small thing but what I am saying is it's there way or not at all simple as! No matter how many times I have said 'this is not me!'. Other things too.. how I use a hoover is often commented on too! Or how I clean abathroom! From this I may sound to you I have 'no clue' how to run a home. I do.. just the same way many of you ladies would do in USA, UK and so on forth! Hell even using a mop to wash the floor was a big issue to.. no I was expected to get on my hands and knees with a cloth and go around that way! No wonder so many born here have back problems!
> 
> All these things may sound petty and non important but these things we all do in our day to day lives and when you get day to day your not doing this right etc after a while it starts to get to you and your confidence start to shrink! I did get lucky in the sense my 'habibi' mother and sister are great girls and I do get on with them fantastic but they don't 100% understand me when I feel a bit of Cabin fever of not getting out much.
> 
> 
> 
> As for having a child here even this has proven to be a huge cultural shock here! My boy was born in April where the weather was nice.. not to hot and not cold too.. but would anyone let me take him anywhere? Nope! It's too cold! He needs more blankets on him! I snapped told him were not in Alaska! And started to do my own thing and trusted my instincts but man I had a lot of snide remarks doing so!
> 
> I've had Egyptian girlfriends too.. and whenever I've gone to them like we would say a girlfriend in our own countries to talk about problems too they do not seem to understand where I am coming from. Most of them accept that home is the place to be and thats it! There just to marry and have kids! I know not all of them think this way but a huge majority do. My guy even feels it his right to go through his sister phone to ensure she isn't being come on to by some guy somewhere! She's 28!
> 
> I had alot of friends when I first came by as time went on found I had none.. they all got either chased of or where out to cause me more problems. Male
> 
> One of the biggest shocks was not many see marriage as a extention of a friendship! I actually have more of a friendship with my 'habibi' more now I am not married to the guy than I ever did in marriage! In marriage his words were often 'your just my wife' 'most egyptian women are happy to just get out once a week for the grocerys' and I'm pretty sure some women reading this will know these lines.
> 
> Yes theres scammers after the visa and money but for those who are not there's a totally different game and infact there innocent in this as it's just the way they have been raised. They are the head of the household full stop. I accepted mine as I found him but he never did towards me. He never fully realised how much I did give up coming here to be with him. Instead I was expected to near on change everything about me and more. Which means the words you hear in the beginning are nothing but shells. More like a spider trying to lure you into his web!
> 
> Now another thing to think of when your trying to work out if the guy good or not iswhy he is interested. I wonder if these ladies are aware that had they been an Egyptian girl then she would 1: not have to spend a penny 2: Expect a flat 3: Furnished 4: Gold gold gold 5: to be took care of 100%.
> 
> For the professional Egyptians of course there more educated and can provide they have the choice of who they can fall for etc. For the non professionals they have alot of work in store should they seek to marry a local girl so many seam to go a 'easier' way. And of course to get 'any wink wink' they need to marry the Egyptian girl they no chance otherwise unless they pay! Although I know this is not in all cases but in most cases it is.
> 
> With foreign women it's slightly easier they know were not likely to be demanding things a local girl would do. They also think it be easier far as the wink wink goes. I known many Egyptians over the past 6 years who have come up to me asking me if I
> 
> 
> have a friend I can introduce them too! As they don't want a local girl and their main reason is they would have to marry have to get property etc etc etc etc


 Oh my goodness you are so right about it all!!!
I'm lucky in the fact my mother in law hated me from get go so so no pretense 
And I was a bit older no spring chicken. So all the suggestions about clothes house cooking kids etc I just said no. No. And no again.
I do not cook Egyptian food, meat veg yorkshires gravy. Chicken salad, and that's about it, most of time I don't cook at all.
Not interested in male friends (Egyptians) boring, don't mix in expat crowd. All my friends are like me married to Egyptians ,and we would tell any newcomers, that they had to explain to there husbands we were there substitute sisters, so objections not allowed.
Egyptian woman don't really know any intimately only polite surface. I'm like an alien for them school talk boooring !
Yes my husband would object to something I was wearing mainly shoes. ( as always been bit of a hippy in clothes) 2 mins before leaving the house,so I'd take all my clothes off and go to bed,
Gold thing yes we do come cheap,I got married wearing my husbands exfiances wedding ring!! Cut it off with hacksaw one night when 7 months pregnant.
Know a lot about Egyptian law, through death of friends husbands divorce etc, that's when most find out that what husband said was rubbish. Most Egyptians not sure what law says.
Violence, not in my marriage, but very common in many, and violence towards children 
I hear stories my son told me from school friends 15 yrs ago of there parents, what my daughter tells me from her university friends, still going on now.this makes me want to cry.
Many woman (Egyptians-foreign) cannot leave , were can they go, if they are allowed to go to there parents they are treated like servants there children are ostracized, and they may not be allowed to work or go out. There husbands will not divorce them and if divorced husbands and brothers will not allow remarriage if they have sons.
Foreigners may not be allowed to leave with children, especially sons ( have know grand parents not allow mother to leave after death of husband) 
All this you can take on when you get involved with Egyptians 
So to be forewarned is forearmed. Bat


----------



## missscottish

MaidenScotland said:


> Actually to be fair to the man he might not care what you wear but his family might and we will side with his family and tell you to change,


Well I have no intention of meeting family as of yet & he also lives in a different city from his family so hopefully, if I did meet them, id only need to dress differently once in a while


----------



## MaidenScotland

missscottish said:


> Well I have no intention of meeting family as of yet & he also lives in a different city from his family so hopefully, if I did meet them, id only need to dress differently once in a while




aww bless you... you still don't really get it... if you are with this man and his family tells him you are dressing wrongly you will be told to change.. he will not argue with his family.. you will be the one that is wrong.


----------



## missscottish

bat said:


> Oh my goodness you are so right about it all!!!
> I'm lucky in the fact my mother in law hated me from get go so so no pretense
> And I was a bit older no spring chicken. So all the suggestions about clothes house cooking kids etc I just said no. No. And no again.
> I do not cook Egyptian food, meat veg yorkshires gravy. Chicken salad, and that's about it, most of time I don't cook at all.
> Not interested in male friends (Egyptians) boring, don't mix in expat crowd. All my friends are like me married to Egyptians ,and we would tell any newcomers, that they had to explain to there husbands we were there substitute sisters, so objections not allowed.
> Egyptian woman don't really know any intimately only polite surface. I'm like an alien for them school talk boooring !
> Yes my husband would object to something I was wearing mainly shoes. ( as always been bit of a hippy in clothes) 2 mins before leaving the house,so I'd take all my clothes off and go to bed,
> Gold thing yes we do come cheap,I got married wearing my husbands exfiances wedding ring!! Cut it off with hacksaw one night when 7 months pregnant.
> Know a lot about Egyptian law, through death of friends husbands divorce etc, that's when most find out that what husband said was rubbish. Most Egyptians not sure what law says.
> Violence, not in my marriage, but very common in many, and violence towards children
> I hear stories my son told me from school friends 15 yrs ago of there parents, what my daughter tells me from her university friends, still going on now.this makes me want to cry.
> Many woman (Egyptians-foreign) cannot leave , were can they go, if they are allowed to go to there parents they are treated like servants there children are ostracized, and they may not be allowed to work or go out. There husbands will not divorce them and if divorced husbands and brothers will not allow remarriage if they have sons.
> Foreigners may not be allowed to leave with children, especially sons ( have know grand parents not allow mother to leave after death of husband)
> All this you can take on when you get involved with Egyptians
> So to be forewarned is forearmed. Bat


Just for future reference..... say you get pregnant, can't you go bck home to Britain for example, then move bck to Egypt with baby? Then possibly you could leave as they would technically be British?


----------



## SHendra

missscottish said:


> I wouldn't dare mention any of this to be honest.,... More to not offend as he hasn't gave me any reason yet to think these things.
> Good thing us he has already seen me in casual day clothes, night time dressy up clothes & he just complimented me. Alot of men did look & mumble something in Arabic & he always just made me feel safe & smiled & told me they were passing comment on how lucky he was..... really need to learn Arabic tho so I know more haha!!
> He is already offering to pay for alot, but I'm very proud so we have agreed that I can buy some food when I visit haha!!
> Sometimes crosses my mind though that by them paying for everything is that not a way for them to try & control you?


No the money part isn't what makes them think they can control you its the fact they are male. Even if you paid for everything they still think it's their right. It's how their raised full stop. I am not saying all are like this but have seen and heard more this way than not. 

Regarding what Maiden is saying about what happen to some girls over here it won't ever be a question of you putting your foot down. Cause in honesty it damn hard to do so! On near on all matters regarding children. You know for me to fly with my son to UK I have to have his okay! I got lucky in sense I was not forced to have my son done. But they are not happy with me over it! This was another reason I refused to marry because had I of done I wouldn't of been able to do anything at all. I of lost all my 'cards to play'. I hope that make sense. 

Also if you have a child here the naming of the child hard going too. I was only allowed to choose the first name. For which I did get lucky to give him a westernised name  As for the rest of his name my poor son has been lumbered with 3 mohameds in it! The naming follow the father and grandfathers. Even if you have a girl! It could be for example Kate Mahmoud Mohamed Ahmed Ali! Things like this you have no say over at all. So even though things can seam good now it's best to think also how would you feel should you settle, have a child etc and to find you get like way less rights over your child than you would of had in our own countries. And what about the nice times of year like xmas and so on would him and his family be ok with your child having these days? I know your not planning on kids right now but down the line these things will pop up and it better to know in the earlier days his and his family views before you get into a situation that you can't change. My son as I said is now 9 months.. he has a baby walker and even on that they decide if he can use it or not when they are here. 'We don't want him in this much' when in fact he isn't. You can't simply say 'butt out its my child' as thats not how it works here! Theres been cases where women have lost their children in splitting from their husbands over the simple fact of religion too. Theres alot more to think than you would think until you been here for a while. 

I ain't trying to damper what should be a exciting time for you.. I'm just trying to open up things that will pop up if things do go good. Things that will pop up sooner or later. I do hope you have met a good one as it would be nice to read this I'm sincere on this. but I can not help alarm bells ringing not because of my own experience but because of so many I and others on this forum have seen to. I only been on this forum since last October but when I came and read through alot of threads before I signed up it was like I was reading my own life in alot of cases.


----------



## missscottish

MaidenScotland said:


> aww bless you... you still don't really get it... if you are with this man and his family tells him you are dressing wrongly you will be told to change.. he will not argue with his family.. you will be the one that is wrong.


I suppose any Egyptian man would also need to be ready for my family too. If I ever did move there I would b visiting home a few times a year, & having a huuuuge family, I would expect lots of visitors so he would need to put up with the brunt of my family too..... being big burly proper scottish men, I'm sure we could come to a compromise on doing what we both agree on & not what each family thinks


----------



## MaidenScotland

missscottish said:


> I suppose any Egyptian man would also need to be ready for my family too. If I ever did move there I would b visiting home a few times a year, & having a huuuuge family, I would expect lots of visitors so he would need to put up with the brunt of my family too..... being big burly proper scottish men, I'm sure we could come to a compromise on doing what we both agree on & not what each family thinks




Only if he allows it


----------



## bat

MaidenScotland said:


> aww bless you... you still don't really get it... if you are with this man and his family tells him you are dressing wrongly you will be told to change.. he will not argue with his family.. you will be the one that is wrong.


Of course, goes with out saying, also be aware of his position in the family better to marry oldest son, they are the ones with the power , youngest or only males with older sisters, oh my goodness.
Female circumcision, many men do not like it interferes with there pleSure,and are not included in it. Uptill now, these girls go back to the village were it's carried out with females present, by females. In Cairo don't ask , it's a very emotive issue ( they don't want westerners telling them what to do ,) this is cultural not religious.


----------



## missscottish

MaidenScotland said:


> Only if he allows it


Well if he wouldn't allow me to visit my home then my family would come to me no matter what. & things would soon be resolved, if I was treated like this I would leave & I'm sure a skinny Egyptian man would not stand up to men twice their size


----------



## SHendra

missscottish said:


> Just for future reference..... say you get pregnant, can't you go bck home to Britain for example, then move bck to Egypt with baby? Then possibly you could leave as they would technically be British?


In short no. Your child would be half British half Egyptian. Wether born here or UK. He or she would have both papers. OF course you can give birth in UK then come back here but whilst here your child is seen as Egyptian even if he/she also has a British passport. He/She would not be seen British until in Europe. I'm currently waiting my son British passport but to fly with him I have to leave with him on his Egyptian passport and to enter anywhere in Europe I have to use his British one. Deul nationality.


----------



## SHendra

missscottish said:


> Well if he wouldn't allow me to visit my home then my family would come to me no matter what. & things would soon be resolved, if I was treated like this I would leave & I'm sure a skinny Egyptian man would not stand up to men twice their size


Your be surprised! There just bring there friends/family to back them up! I already seen this before too!!!  Imagine how school was like whenever the lads got into some fight.. suddenly everyone would run to watch/join in? Welcome to Egypt! lol


----------



## aykalam

missscottish said:


> Akalam.... same question as I asked bat, what experience do you have?


Well...I have ONLY been married to an Egyptian guy for 20 years and all my female friends in Egypt are foreign women married to Egyptians, not sure if that qualifies me to comment on here but I will anyway 

Other than the above, I do not like discussing my personal life in public. 

All the advice I have seen on this post is worth keeping in mind, but of course only you know what's right for you. 

And that's it from me on this post :tape:


----------



## MaidenScotland

missscottish said:


> Well if he wouldn't allow me to visit my home then my family would come to me no matter what. & things would soon be resolved, if I was treated like this I would leave & I'm sure a skinny Egyptian man would not stand up to men twice their size




It is not a matter of your brothers turning up...

Your husband can phone the airport and tell them not to let you leave the country.
The law will be on your husbands side regardless of what he has done or not done to you.


----------



## missscottish

SHendra said:


> No the money part isn't what makes them think they can control you its the fact they are male. Even if you paid for everything they still think it's their right. It's how their raised full stop. I am not saying all are like this but have seen and heard more this way than not.
> 
> Regarding what Maiden is saying about what happen to some girls over here it won't ever be a question of you putting your foot down. Cause in honesty it damn hard to do so! On near on all matters regarding children. You know for me to fly with my son to UK I have to have his okay! I got lucky in sense I was not forced to have my son done. But they are not happy with me over it! This was another reason I refused to marry because had I of done I wouldn't of been able to do anything at all. I of lost all my 'cards to play'. I hope that make sense.
> 
> Also if you have a child here the naming of the child hard going too. I was only allowed to choose the first name. For which I did get lucky to give him a westernised name  As for the rest of his name my poor son has been lumbered with 3 mohameds in it! The naming follow the father and grandfathers. Even if you have a girl! It could be for example Kate Mahmoud Mohamed Ahmed Ali! Things like this you have no say over at all. So even though things can seam good now it's best to think also how would you feel should you settle, have a child etc and to find you get like way less rights over your child than you would of had in our own countries. And what about the nice times of year like xmas and so on would him and his family be ok with your child having these days? I know your not planning on kids right now but down the line these things will pop up and it better to know in the earlier days his and his family views before you get into a situation that you can't change. My son as I said is now 9 months.. he has a baby walker and even on that they decide if he can use it or not when they are here. 'We don't want him in this much' when in fact he isn't. You can't simply say 'butt out its my child' as thats not how it works here! Theres been cases where women have lost their children in splitting from their husbands over the simple fact of religion too. Theres alot more to think than you would think until you been here for a while.
> 
> I ain't trying to damper what should be a exciting time for you.. I'm just trying to open up things that will pop up if things do go good. Things that will pop up sooner or later. I do hope you have met a good one as it would be nice to read this I'm sincere on this. but I can not help alarm bells ringing not because of my own experience but because of so many I and others on this forum have seen to. I only been on this forum since last October but when I came and read through alot of threads before I signed up it was like I was reading my own life in alot of cases.


Thanks so much I really do appreciate all you are saying & think alot of it will come in handy. 
The things here you have children, in all honesty I think k would travel joke to give birth, register baby & travel bck. Obviously if the man is in agreanse to my return & seems sincere that he is happy with those choices. Not planning on getting pregnant just to let you know, haha, just want more of an understanding. 
I will be sure to keep you updated


----------



## bat

SHendra said:


> In short no. Your child would be half British half Egyptian. Wether born here or UK. He or she would have both papers. OF course you can give birth in UK then come back here but whilst here your child is seen as Egyptian even if he/she also has a British passport. He/She would not be seen British until in Europe. I'm currently waiting my son British passport but to fly with him I have to leave with him on his Egyptian passport and to enter anywhere in Europe I have to use his British one. Deul nationality.


Not sure how correct that is used to do this but example went out and in last week as I normally do with 8 and20 yr old on British passport, if they ask just tell them there fathers Egyptian. But I notice they do seem to look at what seems to be a list , I presume of stopped kids not sure.


----------



## missscottish

SHendra said:


> In short no. Your child would be half British half Egyptian. Wether born here or UK. He or she would have both papers. OF course you can give birth in UK then come back here but whilst here your child is seen as Egyptian even if he/she also has a British passport. He/She would not be seen British until in Europe. I'm currently waiting my son British passport but to fly with him I have to leave with him on his Egyptian passport and to enter anywhere in Europe I have to use his British one. Deul nationality.


Oh that explains what I have previously wrote to you, thanks


----------



## SHendra

bat said:


> Oh my goodness you are so right about it all!!!
> I'm lucky in the fact my mother in law hated me from get go so so no pretense
> And I was a bit older no spring chicken. So all the suggestions about clothes house cooking kids etc I just said no. No. And no again.
> I do not cook Egyptian food, meat veg yorkshires gravy. Chicken salad, and that's about it, most of time I don't cook at all.
> Not interested in male friends (Egyptians) boring, don't mix in expat crowd. All my friends are like me married to Egyptians ,and we would tell any newcomers, that they had to explain to there husbands we were there substitute sisters, so objections not allowed.
> Egyptian woman don't really know any intimately only polite surface. I'm like an alien for them school talk boooring !
> Yes my husband would object to something I was wearing mainly shoes. ( as always been bit of a hippy in clothes) 2 mins before leaving the house,so I'd take all my clothes off and go to bed,
> Gold thing yes we do come cheap,I got married wearing my husbands exfiances wedding ring!! Cut it off with hacksaw one night when 7 months pregnant.
> Know a lot about Egyptian law, through death of friends husbands divorce etc, that's when most find out that what husband said was rubbish. Most Egyptians not sure what law says.
> Violence, not in my marriage, but very common in many, and violence towards children
> I hear stories my son told me from school friends 15 yrs ago of there parents, what my daughter tells me from her university friends, still going on now.this makes me want to cry.
> Many woman (Egyptians-foreign) cannot leave , were can they go, if they are allowed to go to there parents they are treated like servants there children are ostracized, and they may not be allowed to work or go out. There husbands will not divorce them and if divorced husbands and brothers will not allow remarriage if they have sons.
> Foreigners may not be allowed to leave with children, especially sons ( have know grand parents not allow mother to leave after death of husband)
> All this you can take on when you get involved with Egyptians
> So to be forewarned is forearmed. Bat


I got so fed up with the nit picking at me that I asked for a cleaner! And said but you pay for it! That never came to be either.. Instead the nit picking got a little less. I now leave the dishes for him to do.. with the excuse of I don't do it right be a love you do it! .. So I did win something there! lol And he does cook sometimes to! As for cups of tea I now make them cups of hot water .. give them the tea bag and sugar bowl with a spoon. They made it this way so hey I ain't gonna complain they gave me less to do!


----------



## missscottish

SHendra said:


> Your be surprised! There just bring there friends/family to back them up! I already seen this before too!!!  Imagine how school was like whenever the lads got into some fight.. suddenly everyone would run to watch/join in? Welcome to Egypt! lol


The guy I have met stays in a different city from family so hoping they don't stick their nose in too much. & would be stunned to find a family who be willing to fight mine :-/ not saying their unbeatable but seriously the size of brick **** houses & if it means they die for saving one of their own, then so be it. It has been known


----------



## MaidenScotland

bat said:


> Not sure how correct that is used to do this but example went out and in last week as I normally do with 8 and20 yr old on British passport, if they ask just tell them there fathers Egyptian. But I notice they do seem to look at what seems to be a list , I presume of stopped kids not sure.




My friends daughter who is in her twenties only uses her British passport... and she never buys a visa and if they ask she tells them I am Egyptian.

One thing to bear in mind... if you enter Egypt on an Egyptian passport you are classed as entering as an Egyptian and in the event of your embassy telling you to leave the country because of an emergency you will be at the back of the queue


----------



## missscottish

MaidenScotland said:


> It is not a matter of your brothers turning up...
> 
> Your husband can phone the airport and tell them not to let you leave the country.
> The law will be on your husbands side regardless of what he has done or not done to you.


Looks like if need build a paddle boat if I wanted to escape but even at that, the sharks would have me..... there's no escape :-/ ha ha


----------



## MaidenScotland

Isn't it strange how girls come on holiday and then come back out to see the guy and they start asking questions on living with him. marrying, how is family will act and so on but if they had met a British guy and started talking like this we would say... you have only known him 5 minutes get real and or you will scare him with all that talk about marriage


----------



## missscottish

aykalam said:


> Well...I have ONLY been married to an Egyptian guy for 20 years and all my female friends in Egypt are foreign women married to Egyptians, not sure if that qualifies me to comment on here but I will anyway
> 
> Other than the above, I do not like discussing my personal life in public.
> 
> All the advice I have seen on this post is worth keeping in mind, but of course only you know what's right for you.
> 
> And that's it from me on this post :tape:


Thanks for your reply aykalam, although that may have seemed like a cheeky question, it was a genuine question. I would rather advise from yourself other than people who don't know so much & may be stereotyping.


----------



## missscottish

MaidenScotland said:


> Isn't it strange how girls come on holiday and then come back out to see the guy and they start asking questions on living with him. marrying, how is family will act and so on but if they had met a British guy and started talking like this we would say... you have only known him 5 minutes get real and or you will scare him with all that talk about marriage


Haha your totally right!!! 
I have a question, is it illegal to live with a man in Egypt unless you are married? 
& also on what you said about the girl entering with her British passport.... how dies she prove she's Egyptian? Or do they just take her word for it?


----------



## expatagogo

MaidenScotland said:


> The law will be on your husbands side regardless of what he has done or not done to you.


Not only the law, but the religion (Muslim or Christian, doesn't make a difference), and the culture will be against you. So will his family. And the neighborhood. 

Why? Because no matter what goes wrong, it is ALWAYS the woman's fault. ALWAYS. 
That's just the way Egypt is. 

Learn some Arabic and listen to these guys brag about how they control women, such as "My mother never left home. She never looked out the window" (and, yes, that is a quote). Look at the covered verandas - which aren't covered to keep the sun/sand out but to keep men from looking at the females of the family while they're tending to laundry. 

I met an American woman (online) who was locked in a flat for three years. When we met in person, it was for her once a month outing to spend the money her mother sent her at the grocery store. If she tried to leave (which she did a couple of times), her husband beat her. She escaped by borrowing a lot of money and taking him "home" with her. The first thing he did was get on a plane and fly to another state where he holed up with a Morrocan woman he'd met online. 

Egypt is a man's world and don't let anyone try to tell you otherwise.


----------



## MaidenScotland

missscottish said:


> Haha your totally right!!!
> I have a question, is it illegal to live with a man in Egypt unless you are married?
> & also on what you said about the girl entering with her British passport.... how dies she prove she's Egyptian? Or do they just take her word for it?




My friends daughter is dual nationality.. she has an Egyptian name and speaks with a local accent and of course she looks Egyptian. They just let her through 

Sex before marriage is illegal in Egypt.. that's not to say it doesn't go on because it does but many Egyptian men will offer you Orfi marriage which has no legal bearing and it is basically known as a shagging paper.. but it does let him sleep with you in some places.. not all landlords will accept orfi papers.


----------



## missscottish

MaidenScotland said:


> My friends daughter is dual nationality.. she has an Egyptian name and speaks with a local accent and of course she looks Egyptian. They just let her through
> 
> Sex before marriage is illegal in Egypt.. that's not to say it doesn't go on because it does but many Egyptian men will offer you Orfi marriage which has no legal bearing and it is basically known as a shagging paper.. but it does let him sleep with you in some places.. not all landlords will accept orfi papers.


So orfi marriage I'd just a piece of paper then, basically to allow u to have sex etc? Wow, this really is a different world, but sounds better than real marriage haha. 

That's kool, does she ever come across problems at the airport?


----------



## MaidenScotland

missscottish said:


> So orfi marriage I'd just a piece of paper then, basically to allow u to have sex etc? Wow, this really is a different world, but sounds better than real marriage haha.
> 
> That's kool, does she ever come across problems at the airport?




No problem at all.


----------



## bat

MaidenScotland said:


> No problem at all.


My daughter does not have an egyptian name, does not look Egyptian,( 8 yr) but I'm not a threat and can they be bothered, and I'm quite pre pared to sit in there office all night give me a cup of coffee, am easily entertained. Only happened the once, not young enough or beautiful enough for them to be entertained by me.
It's illegal for 2 unrelated opposite sex couple to spend the night in the same room together simple.
Orfy marriage will stand if papers not torn up and in most cases held by man, as many female students know to there cost. It's like a loaded gun to there heads.


----------



## SHendra

missscottish said:


> So orfi marriage I'd just a piece of paper then, basically to allow u to have sex etc? Wow, this really is a different world, but sounds better than real marriage haha.
> 
> That's kool, does she ever come across problems at the airport?


I will say something about the real marriages! And to add a little light into this thread. I have a humour It how I cope over here but the day I did get married over here in my opinion was one massive joke! I felt like I went to some cattle market for the afternoon. So if you go to marry the chances are if you have a celebration it wont be on the same day.

You go to the court house to do the marriage contract. It takes ages a good few hours as it all got to be hand written. With the witnesses and a translator for yourself. You go in normal day clothing. The office tends to be busy with people in and out doing their own thing there is no privacy. Its a public place. After a while you get to give your fingerprints to your contract. It be a islamic marriage if your habibi is muslim. Your then have to repeat a few lines of arabic with a iman. Then bingo your married you can then go home for a cup of tea. Which is how my day went. To anyone who goes and do this your spend most the day sitting around with hardly anyone speaking English. Had I of known I of took a good book and a mp3 player! I use to think the register offices in UK were a unromantic way to marry in before they opened up the thing where you can marry near on anywhere now but here it's like going to marry in some old abandoned council office with tons of people around. No flowers nothing nice to look at!


----------



## expatagogo

missscottish said:


> So orfi marriage I'd just a piece of paper then, basically to allow u to have sex etc?


If it's done properly and if it's registered, it's a fully legal marriage. Even if it's not, Egyptian courts will honor them for paternity and child maintenance issues. 

In other words, do not take them lightly.


----------



## NZCowboy

SHendra said:


> In short no. Your child would be half British half Egyptian. Wether born here or UK. He or she would have both papers. OF course you can give birth in UK then come back here but whilst here your child is seen as Egyptian even if he/she also has a British passport. He/She would not be seen British until in Europe. I'm currently waiting my son British passport but to fly with him I have to leave with him on his Egyptian passport and to enter anywhere in Europe I have to use his British one. Deul nationality.


Further to this,
Even though your child was born outside Egypt, and has a birth certificate issued in the UK, when you come back to Egypt an Egyptian birth certificate is issued. 
In our case they refused to issue them as named on the foreign birth certificate.
eg(not real names)
We named the child and the foreign birth certificate and passport says 
John Henry Bloggs
But when the Egyptian's issue there birth certificate and passport they disregard this and use the fathers name.
Fathers name - Joe Frank Bloggs
Childs name becomes - John Joe Frank Bloggs.
So our childern don't have dual nationality but rather dual identities!!!


----------



## SHendra

NZCowboy said:


> Further to this,
> Even though your child was born outside Egypt, and has a birth certificate issued in the UK, when you come back to Egypt an Egyptian birth certificate is issued.
> In our case they refused to issue them as named on the foreign birth certificate.
> eg(not real names)
> We named the child and the foreign birth certificate and passport says
> John Henry Bloggs
> But when the Egyptian's issue there birth certificate and passport they disregard this and use the fathers name.
> Fathers name - Joe Frank Bloggs
> Childs name becomes - John Joe Frank Bloggs.
> So our childern don't have dual nationality but rather dual identities!!!


Yes my son has landed up with 3 Mohamed's for his last 3 names. Not 1 but 3! I really am relieved I had a boy for these naming reasons.


----------



## NZCowboy

Also had a huge fight over the translation of my name, as it is Gaelic, and the offical translator insisted on writing as it appears not as it is pronouced.
Sean - became Ce-anne.


----------



## bat

SHendra said:


> I will say something about the real marriages! And to add a little light into this thread. I have a humour It how I cope over here but the day I did get married over here in my opinion was one massive joke! I felt like I went to some cattle market for the afternoon. So if you go to marry the chances are if you have a celebration it wont be on the same day.
> 
> You go to the court house to do the marriage contract. It takes ages a good few hours as it all got to be hand written. With the witnesses and a translator for yourself. You go in normal day clothing. The office tends to be busy with people in and out doing their own thing there is no privacy. Its a public place. After a while you get to give your fingerprints to your contract. It be a islamic marriage if your habibi is muslim. Your then have to repeat a few lines of arabic with a iman. Then bingo your married you can then go home for a cup of tea. Which is how my day went. To anyone who goes and do this your spend most the day sitting around with hardly anyone speaking English. Had I of known I of took a good book and a mp3 player! I use to think the register offices in UK were a unromantic way to marry in before they opened up the thing where you can marry near on anywhere now but here it's like going to marry in
> some old abandoned council office with tons of people around. No flowers nothing nice to look at!


Yes was married same office but took 5 mins just signed and didn't realize that this was a marriage thought we were getting papers. When I asked later my husband said the guy said you looked so happy no need to go through the rest. But have a copy with mother and did register it with British embassy. If he divorces me he has to give me 100 le. Think I'll keep the house thank you very much
We had a bar b in his mothers bed room yes fire etc in her room. Me and him and his brother. Great eh


----------



## SHendra

bat said:


> Yes was married same office but took 5 mins just signed and didn't realize that this was a marriage thought we were getting papers. When I asked later my husband said the guy said you looked so happy no need to go through the rest. But have a copy with mother and did register it with British embassy. If he divorces me he has to give me 100 le. Think I'll keep the house thank you very much
> We had a bar b in his mothers bed room yes fire etc in her room. Me and him and his brother. Great eh


I got placed down for a 100LE to! I never did get it in the divorce! lol. I didn't even get a bbq! And the party that was meant to be never came to be on top of that but on that I was kinda pleased.. I wasn't so sure how my family (being ones to like a drink at occasions) would take coming to a party to have a 7up! On top of the flight etc. The divorce was in the exact same office with the exact same people and took about the same length of time too!


----------



## Sam

I just want to clear up an issue...

Sex before marriage is NOT illegal. And staying with an Egyptian man unmarried is also NOT illegal. But that's not to say that they don't allow it, as with many other things in Egypt. Something doesn't have to be illegal for them to try to charge you for it. As an example my partner got stopped at a check point and they tried to fine him for talking on his hands free!!!! And yet the mention of a phone call to a very high ranked officer soon gets the "offence" waived. We've had national security come looking for us asking to see our marriage certificate. My partner's a lawyer, he can quite easily just print an orfi contract from his computer and keep them happy, but we refuse to marry just because society wants us to. 

MissScottish,

Just to bring back your point that nobody answered. There is no good place to go clothes shopping in Sharm. Il Mercato or Soho Square are the best places to buy clothes since you find imported clothes with a good quality, but expect to pay through the roof for it.


----------



## Sam

Oh, and another point. If when you say your boyfriend lives in a separate place to his family you mean that he's in Sharm and they're elsewhere, I can tell you his family are still very much involved in his life and will interfere. It's likely that he works in Sharm for 3-4 weeks (possibly more) then will go back to his family for a week or so. Egyptian families are notoriously close, too close for comfort for me.


----------



## MaidenScotland

I am going to close this post now as it has been done to death and as we all know when anyone asks us about men they really want us to say.. Yes come out you will love it and he will be a brilliant husband and you will have the most wonderful life.


----------

