# Domestic Partners



## SoCal76 (Apr 22, 2013)

Hello,

My partner and I (Domestic Partners in California with a child) are considering opportunities in Abu Dhabi. Would employers consider sponsoring us as a family or would we each need to be sponsored separately?

Thanks!


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Unfortunately domestic partnership is not recognised in the UAE so you will need to each be sponsored separately with one of you sponsoring your child or you need to get married and be sponsored as a family.


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## m1key (Jun 29, 2011)

SoCal76 said:


> Hello,
> 
> My partner and I (Domestic Partners in California with a child) are considering opportunities in Abu Dhabi. Would employers consider sponsoring us as a family or would we each need to be sponsored separately?
> 
> Thanks!


It is illegal to co-habit unless married. You would not be able to sponsor your partner. Your partner would have to either get their own sponsorship by finding an employer, or by setting up their own company. Plenty of people co-habit, but you need to be aware of the consequences if caught. Have a search on these forums, there are plenty of threads on the subject where you can get different viewpoints.


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## SoCal76 (Apr 22, 2013)

Thank you. I guess I should have specified that we are two male Domestic Partners. I don't think we would have problems with each finding jobs and sponsorship individually but I am concerned that our family structure may not be accepted.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

SoCal76 said:


> Thank you. I guess I should have specified that we are two male Domestic Partners. I don't think we would have problems with each finding jobs and sponsorship individually but I am concerned that our family structure may not be accepted.


Well given that homosexuality is frowned upon here, you really would not want your home set up to become common knowledge at all. Plus adding a child into the mix, it's just not done here I'm afraid. This is something that you really need to consider.


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## IzzyBella (Mar 11, 2013)

SoCal76 said:


> Thank you. I guess I should have specified that we are two male Domestic Partners. I don't think we would have problems with each finding jobs and sponsorship individually but I am concerned that our family structure may not be accepted.


If "living in sin" (opposite sexed unmarried couples) is illegal, how do you expect homosexual couples are viewed?

I have many homosexual, pansexual, bisexual, ****/heteroflexible friends back home. (I am heteroflexible, myself.) Although, I know a few here, I'd never ever ever hear them say it aloud in public or tell their employer.

This is a muslim country, don't tell your employers. 2 men living together is not illegal, homosexuality is. Even consensual sodomy is. However, *what they don't know can't hurt you.*

Just rent a villa/apartment with enough bedrooms "just in case". 

As for the child, is s/he one of yours biologically or adopted? 

Biological would be easiest, just get the father to sponsor the child. If adopted, I assume both of you are on the adoption papers so it could get a little trickier. You could always try, but if it's unsuccessful, one of you would be locked into a contract or face a working ban whilst the child would have to return to the states (with the other).

Hmm, if you have a daughter, that could be a potential problem. Only if you get caught. Essentially, a lot of people do things illegally such as co-habit. However, there are added laws that could be slapped on you if you get caught.

I'd also worry if your child innocently slips up by telling a teacher or their friends that you're a couple.


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## m1key (Jun 29, 2011)

The risks involved, particularly with a child in the picture, are just not worth it. What happens to your child if you both ended up in prison? Think of your child and live somewhere that is tolerant of your partnership.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

m1key said:


> The risks involved, particularly with a child in the picture, are just not worth it. What happens to your child if you both ended up in prison? Think of your child and live somewhere that is tolerant of your partnership.


Sadly I'd have to agree with this. If it were just the two of you, then ok. But with a child involved there's just too much at risk and you need to put them first.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

I can't speak for Abu Dhabi but Dubai does have a sizeable and apparently thriving gay scene. It's not 'out and about' but it's become a mecca for gay Arabs and I do know quite a few western gays who live here as well, the result of having worked for a major design/architecture/engineering firm for years. 

But Abu Dhabi has always been more conservative than Dubai.

If it were just the two of you living in Dubai I wouldn't have worried much. It's not illegal for men to share an apartment or villa and as long as you're discreet the authorities won't hunt you down. An old colleague has lived in the UAE for over ten years and in that entire time has been in a committed relationship with another man and they even own a villa in Arabian Ranches, a very family friendly expat area. And they are happy enough. 

The ones who get into trouble are the ones who are public about it - by which I mean making loud outspoken statements in a public place, giving the authorities no choice but to do something about it. Every now and then one hears of the authorities making a clean sweep through an unofficial 'cruising' area, usually one of the beaches, but that would be that it'd become too obviously a cruising area. 

So, two men together is fine in Dubai.

But when a child is involved it's a different matter. Anything falling outside the traditional norms for a family would be too blindingly obvious. Western families won't report you to the authorities but a misplaced 'I have two daddies' in the wrong place to the wrong person would be enough to bring your life in the UAE to a very quick and potentially nasty end. Even if you tried to be as discreet as possible by maintaining two apartments, ask yourself if you would be comfortable raising a child and telling him/her to lie to everyone about the exact nature of the relationship between you and your partner. Even if one of you becomes the 'uncle' think of the stories you'd have to invent about the missing mother and have to repeatedly tell to teachers, school heads, doctors or the neighbors.


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## xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxStewartC (Mar 3, 2012)

A gay couple with a child moving from California, the birthplace of gay liberation, to Muslim Abu Dhabi might be a crazy, offbeat sitcom or movie plot. But it would a VERY crazy and potentially tragic life choice. The stress would be intolerable and the consequences of discovery severe. Besides, you will note that many straight posters here are pretty soon fed up with things, and it's not a land of milk and honey.


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## Gavtek (Aug 23, 2009)

IzzyBella said:


> Even consensual sodomy is. However, *what they don't know can't hurt you.*


Unless it's with someone called Leroy.


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## vantage (May 10, 2012)

IzzyBella said:


> I have many homosexual, pansexual, bisexual, ****/heteroflexible friends back home. (I am heteroflexible, myself.)


I'm learning a few things here!! reminds me of the 'family friendly' nightclub thread!

What are pansexual & heteroflexible, as different from bisexual?


As for coming here, the child creates too much risk for all concerned, i'd say, at the risk of repeating others advice.


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## Peterf (Jan 9, 2012)

vantage said:


> I'm learning a few things here!! reminds me of the 'family friendly' nightclub thread!
> 
> What are pansexual & heteroflexible, as different from bisexual?
> 
> ...


I'm glad someone else asked.
I must be too old - Pansexual sounds like it's probably in the kitchen. Heteroflexible sounds like you need to be a Yoga Master (not to be confused with Jagermeister)


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Male or female? If male, having the other male live at the same home would be considered illegal and may raise issues, even if are able to hide the gay thing. Females may be able to pull it off easier. But agree is a big no no if the child should ever say the wrong thing. Give the entire middle east a pass.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

Correction: it's not illegal for people of the same gender to share apartments or villas. You don't need to be related. 



Jynxgirl said:


> Male or female? If male, having the other male live at the same home would be considered illegal and may raise issues, even if are able to hide the gay thing. Females may be able to pull it off easier. But agree is a big no no if the child should ever say the wrong thing. Give the entire middle east a pass.


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## Felixtoo2 (Jan 16, 2009)

" Females may be able to pull it off better." 

Wise words indeed Jynxy lol!


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## IzzyBella (Mar 11, 2013)

vantage said:


> I'm learning a few things here!! reminds me of the 'family friendly' nightclub thread!
> 
> What are pansexual & heteroflexible, as different from bisexual?
> 
> ...





Peterf said:


> I'm glad someone else asked.
> I must be too old - Pansexual sounds like it's probably in the kitchen. Heteroflexible sounds like you need to be a Yoga Master (not to be confused with Jagermeister)


I appreciate that you asked. It's better to be curious and gain knowledge than to be intimidated and ignorant.

Pansexual

Heteroflexible

Bisexual


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

I should of said with a child.... Women could pull off living together with a child better then unrelated males living together with a child.


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