# The polite way to order a drink



## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Saw this today on FB and it made me smile.

How many of you use that very usefui expression "Cuando puedas"? It just means "when you can", and is useful not just for ordering something but when asking for the bill, especially if the waiter is busy.

And by using it, you will have mastered one of the occasions for using the subjunctive!


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Nah, we don't do that. As we arrive we, like all good people hereabouts, call out to one and all "Hola. Bueno día" and go and sit in our usual seats. A couple of minutes later two media tostadas arrive with butter and jam and two cafés con leche (one normal and one sin lactosa. About 8-10 minutes later, two more cafés arrive. I go to pay. I proffer a 10€ note and say "dame tres" and 3€ change appears. We then walk to the bread counter. 3 chapatas largas appear and we hand over the 3€ and 90 centimos change appears. All very civil.


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

baldilocks said:


> As we arrive we, like all good people hereabouts, call out to one and all "Hola. Bueno día" and go and sit in our usual seats.


We once went to a cafe for breakfast whilst staying in Córdoba. Sat down at an empty table but were told no, we couldn't sit there. Tried another one, same answer. So we asked where we could sit and were directed to another one. Apparently the regulars all had their own tables and even their own butter, margarine, jams etc were brought out and put on the table when they arrived. We wondered if newcomers to the area had to wait for the old timers to die off and work their way up to the "best" tables.

Never come across it anywhere else.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Lynn R said:


> We once went to a cafe for breakfast whilst staying in Córdoba. Sat down at an empty table but were told no, we couldn't sit there. Tried another one, same answer. So we asked where we could sit and were directed to another one. Apparently the regulars all had their own tables and even their own butter, margarine, jams etc were brought out and put on the table when they arrived. We wondered if newcomers to the area had to wait for the old timers to die off and work their way up to the "best" tables.
> 
> Never come across it anywhere else.


I used to work in a pub like that ... All the old boys had their own favourite glasses, you had to remember without asking what they all drank, and if woe betide any stranger who inadvertently sat on Alfie's stool.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

baldilocks said:


> Nah, we don't do that. As we arrive we, like all good people hereabouts, call out to one and all "Hola. Bueno día" and go and sit in our usual seats. A couple of minutes later two media tostadas arrive with butter and jam and two cafés con leche (one normal and one sin lactosa. About 8-10 minutes later, two more cafés arrive. I go to pay. I proffer a 10€ note and say "dame tres" and 3€ change appears. We then walk to the bread counter. 3 chapatas largas appear and we hand over the 3€ and 90 centimos change appears. All very civil.


Not at all set in your ways then! 

Never heard of a chapata larga. Is that like a baguette?


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Alcalaina said:


> Saw this today on FB and it made me smile.
> 
> How many of you use that very usefui expression "Cuando puedas"? It just means "when you can", and is useful not just for ordering something but when asking for the bill, especially if the waiter is busy.
> 
> And by using it, you will have mastered one of the occasions for using the subjunctive!


An expression that I do use, picked up from hubby


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Pesky Wesky said:


> An expression that I do use, picked up from hubby


'Cuando puedas' is so useful!

Gently & with a smile, & you're asking politely. Change your tone, expression & maybe volume, & it can mean 'Oy! get a move on, I've been waiting for 20 minutes!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

xabiachica said:


> 'Cuando puedas' is so useful!
> 
> Gently & with a smile, & you're asking politely. Change your tone, expression & maybe volume, & it can mean 'Oy! get a move on, I've been waiting for 20 minutes!


Yes, true!


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## Isobella (Oct 16, 2014)

The most frequent I have heard Spaniards use is "Deme una cerveza" doesn't sound polite but hear it used a lot.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Isobella said:


> The most frequent I have heard Spaniards use is "Deme una cerveza" doesn't sound polite but hear it used a lot.


It doesn't sound polite to us, but it does to them


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Isobella said:


> The most frequent I have heard Spaniards use is "Deme una cerveza" doesn't sound polite but hear it used a lot.


Never heard anyone use the formal form to a waiter. "Dame" or "ponme" round here.


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Alcalaina said:


> Never heard anyone use the formal form to a waiter. "Dame" or "ponme" round here.


Yes, that's all I ever hear anyone saying to a waiter, shopkeeper or market stallholder here.


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## jimenato (Nov 21, 2009)

Pesky Wesky said:


> It doesn't sound polite to us, but it does to them


Bit the American "Gimme a beer" - doesn't sound at all right to us.

I don't like "Digame" either.


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## Isobella (Oct 16, 2014)

Wasn't there a TV series called that.? Have heard a lot of people say "Diga" when they pick up the phone. 

I once shouted to attract a shopkeeper as I wanted to ask a question about a product. I said "Oye" and he was very put out, told me it was rude.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Isobella said:


> Wasn't there a TV series called that.? Have heard a lot of people say "Diga" when they pick up the phone.
> 
> I once shouted to attract a shopkeeper as I wanted to ask a question about a product. I said "Oye" and he was very put out, told me it was rude.


 Certainly is!
If anything you should say Oiga, but nowadays people don't usually use it, although maybe in Andalucia they do as they use "usted" a lot more down there...


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## Isobella (Oct 16, 2014)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Certainly is!
> If anything you should say Oiga, but nowadays people don't usually use it, although maybe in Andalucia they do as they use "usted" a lot more down there...


Yes, a perfect example of not picking up street language. I had heard people use it for kids and dogs


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## jimenato (Nov 21, 2009)

"Oiga" is used in Andalucia - I think it is a bit like our "Excuse me" to attract attention - so not rude. But I wouldn't use it.

They also make a silly whistling noise with their lips for the same thing - sounds very rude to me.

I usually put up my hand and call "por favor" to attract attention which is probably all wrong but it works OK and I am happy with it.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Certainly is!
> If anything you should say Oiga, but nowadays people don't usually use it, although maybe in Andalucia they do as they use "usted" a lot more down there...


They use "ustedes" instead of vosotros for informal plural, but not the corresponding verb forms. Very confusing.

When trying to catch a waiter's eye I often hear "muchacho/a", which is not at all age-related. Domestic cleaners are also referred to as "mi muchacha" even if she's in her 60s.


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## Horlics (Sep 27, 2011)

Ah us Brits and our politeness eh.

Over here (Javea) all I ever use is "me pones"

Never used Cuando puedas in a bar but have in other situations

That said, in a bar I visit once or twice a week the majority of Spanish who come in use.... Quiero una cana... botellla de.... etc. But just a simple quiero.


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## Pazcat (Mar 24, 2010)

This seems like the sort of passive aggressiveness I need in my life.


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## alpinist (Feb 8, 2009)

Alcalaina said:


> Never heard anyone use the formal form to a waiter. "Dame" or "ponme" round here.


Agree with those, but also can you confirm that at the table not the bar, is it more correct to say "traeme ... / me traes ..." than with _poner_? There was a bit of a discussion between my colleagues over that one, suggesting it might be regional. 

_Cuando puedas_ does tend to get used more for the bill up here (edge of Galicia), "cuando puedas, me cobras".


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

_Si_ said:


> Agree with those, but also can you confirm that at the table not the bar, is it more correct to say "traeme ... / me traes ..." than with _poner_? There was a bit of a discussion between my colleagues over that one, suggesting it might be regional.
> 
> _Cuando puedas_ does tend to get used more for the bill up here (edge of Galicia), "cuando puedas, me cobras".


Sounds fine to me. I would use traer if I'm sat at a table and the waiter has come over to take the order, and poner if I'm sat at the bar (or in a shop). Cuando puedas is good if the waiter is running around serving lots of tables and you want to get their attention.


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## Isobella (Oct 16, 2014)

Text books for Spanish learners use Quiero in lots of circumstances but yet to hear a Spaniard use it. I remember learning traigame too but cannot recall anyone use it.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Traer yes...
¿Me traes un vasito de agua/ cuchara/ un poco de sal...?


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Nueva ley de hostelería prohíbe silbar o chasquear los dedos para llamar al camarero



> This new law that comes into force immediately prohibits addressing the waiters of bars and restaurants in a derogatory way, either whistling as if they were animals, snapping their fingers with superiority or calling them "boss", "willy" or another name that is not theirs by birth. If this series of rules is not carried out, the client will face a fine of between 150 and 300 euros or social work such as washing the dishes or making the purchase in the markets.


Well, it's a spoof of course, but perhaps it's not a bad idea.


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## mickbcn (Feb 4, 2013)

Isobella said:


> The most frequent I have heard Spaniards use is "Deme una cerveza" doesn't sound polite but hear it used a lot.


But is a little polite, because they say "deme" instead of "dame" they treat the waiter /tress as "usted" ,not the friendly "tu".


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

mickbcn said:


> But is a little polite, because they say "deme" instead of "dame" they treat the waiter /tress as "usted" ,not the friendly "tu".


Yes I know, but I've never heard it. Do you use "usted" when talking to waiters in Barcelona?


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## mickbcn (Feb 4, 2013)

Alcalaina said:


> Never heard anyone use the formal form to a waiter. "Dame" or "ponme" round here.


But this is not very polite except if you know very well the waiter/tress, the correct is DEME or PONGAME....por favor, in SI US PLAU..


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## mickbcn (Feb 4, 2013)

Alcalaina said:


> Yes I know, but I've never heard it. Do you use "usted" when talking to waiters in Barcelona?


Yes of course allways, but this is because I am old usually the young people treat everybody as TU elder people or people who is the first time they see. for me this is horrible... but as I told maybe I am too old.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

mickbcn said:


> Yes of course allways, but this is because I am old usually the young people treat everybody as TU elder people or people who is the first time they see. for me this is horrible... but as I told maybe I am too old.


Another cultural difference between our two regions! We are very informal down here in the south.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Alcalaina said:


> Another cultural difference between our two regions! We are very informal down here in the south.


 Don't you think it depends on who is talking and who they are talking to?
My husband, from Bilbao, calls almost everyone "tu", people in shops, doctors, workmates, strangers on a bus whereas his siblings, both older and younger don't; they use "usted" much more. He does use "usted" for people much older than himself though, friends of his mother for example or an elderly person in the street asking directions.
A neighbour of ours from Andalucia, who we were quite friendly with however would always use "usted" when talking to us...
People started to call me "usted" in the market and in shops when I had my daughter; it seems you cross a line. Often when I wasn't with my daughter I'd go back to "tu". 

It seems there are no hard and fast rules!


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Don't you think it depends on who is talking and who they are talking to?
> My husband, from Bilbao, calls almost everyone "tu", people in shops, doctors, workmates, strangers on a bus whereas his siblings, both older and younger don't; they use "usted" much more. He does use "usted" for people much older than himself though, friends of his mother for example or an elderly person in the street asking directions.
> A neighbour of ours from Andalucia, who we were quite friendly with however would always use "usted" when talking to us...
> People started to call me "usted" in the market and in shops when I had my daughter; it seems you cross a line. Often when I wasn't with my daughter I'd go back to "tu".
> ...


Our former neighbours in the area where we used to live, and were on very friendly terms with, always addressed my husband by his first name or even "primo" or "hermano" and by the familiar "tu", but invariably called me "señora" or "la señora" if talking to my husband, and with "usted", and still do even though they've known me for nearly 15 years. I don't think it's because they didn't like me, but I could be wrong!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

And, kind of on the subject, I caught the end of an interview on tv yesterday with an older woman who was a Franco supporter and some journalists on tv talking about the exhumation of Franco. The older woman who was being interviewed outside the studio called one of the journalists "señorita" and she took offence saying that she was a señora and deserved to be called señora as she had been married and divorced twice! You can imagine that the woman who had called her señorita was delighted to be given this information which in her opinion gave her even more right to use the "insulting" title of señorita"!!
It's a minefield out there:shocked::noidea::eyebrows:


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## Isobella (Oct 16, 2014)

I was on an exchange visit from Uni to Elche in the time of Franco. My friend's parents insisted she and her other siblings addressed them formally using Usted. Years later when she came to visit with her 2 young kids, guess what. they used "Usted to us. They were also not too happy that she complete the return trip to my family as if she went to the cinema etc. one of her older Brothers had to chaperone her.

I think there are a lot of regional differences though, the same in UK. I once saw a man handed a pint of beer in a Fuengirola bar and he said "Ta Love" and the Spanish waiter said "cheers"


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

I use "usted" to the few who are older than me but then, that is the way it is in S. America - we don't use 'vosotros' either


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Don't you think it depends on who is talking and who they are talking to?
> My husband, from Bilbao, calls almost everyone "tu", people in shops, doctors, workmates, strangers on a bus whereas his siblings, both older and younger don't; they use "usted" much more. He does use "usted" for people much older than himself though, friends of his mother for example or an elderly person in the street asking directions.
> A neighbour of ours from Andalucia, who we were quite friendly with however would always use "usted" when talking to us...
> People started to call me "usted" in the market and in shops when I had my daughter; it seems you cross a line. Often when I wasn't with my daughter I'd go back to "tu".
> ...


I thought we were talking about addressing waiters. I've never heard anyone use Usted in the south, whereas Mick said it's quite normal in Catalonia especially for older people.

As I've mentioned before, in SW Andalucia it's common to use Ustedes instead of vosotros when addressing more than one person informally. My pilates teacher uses it when talking to the group, but "tu" when talking to us individually.

The only time I am called Usted is in banks, government departments and certain shops of the "Are you being served?" kind. I would only use it for older people that I don't know.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Alcalaina said:


> I thought we were talking about addressing waiters.


 Ah yes, that is true. I have wandered somewhat in my posts....:nod:


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## Megsmum (Sep 9, 2012)

Never hear anyone use Usted in any scenario here.. not even in official offices


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## uk03878 (Jul 4, 2018)

Having negligible Spanish I am finding this fascinating (always get a gem of a thread on this forum). By the gist of this - the use of the word usted sounds more like addressing the waiter as Herr Ober in German (which when I was was brought up I was always taught to say).
Also when meeting elderly gentlemen in the street in the UK I would use the term Sir
I don't use the term Sir when ordering drinks from barmen in the UK, but I am addressed by it by barmen and landlords


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

uk03878 said:


> Having negligible Spanish I am finding this fascinating (always get a gem of a thread on this forum). By the gist of this - the use of the word usted sounds more like addressing the waiter as Herr Ober in German (which when I was was brought up I was always taught to say).
> Also when meeting elderly gentlemen in the street in the UK I would use the term Sir
> I don't use the term Sir when ordering drinks from barmen in the UK, but I am addressed by it by barmen and landlords


Funny how Sir is so much less offensive than Madam!

As a female over 60, I've noticed that I've become completely invisible when trying to order drinks at the bar in England. And when I do get someone's attention I have to put up with all this phoney "have a nice day" nonsense.


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## Rabbitcat (Aug 31, 2014)

So are we saying its impolite to click your fingers and scream " Yo Pedro! When you finish your lunch break- 2 pints over ere!!!"


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Rabbitcat said:


> So are we saying its impolite to click your fingers and scream " Yo Pedro! When you finish your lunch break- 2 pints over ere!!!"


Yes.


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## kaipa (Aug 3, 2013)

If you want to see how formal Spanish works watch El Juego de Tronos. That will pretty much cover everything. You will also pick up some pretty choice expression too.


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## Justina (Jan 25, 2013)

*Agua*



Pesky Wesky said:


> Traer yes...
> ¿Me traes un vasito de agua/ cuchara/ un poco de sal...?


Shouldn't it be vasito con agua?


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Justina said:


> Shouldn't it be vasito con agua?


Only if you want the water separate from the glass, surely? E.g. a glass of coñac with some water on the side.


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Justina said:


> Shouldn't it be vasito con agua?


I was reading an article in El Pais the other day about the debate as to whether bars should be required to supply glasses of tap water on request or not, and in that it did refer to "un vaso de agua del grifo", so I think "vasito de agua" would be correct.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Justina said:


> Shouldn't it be vasito con agua?


 Well, if you really want to know you can read this article
http://udep.edu.pe/castellanoactual/vaso-de-agua-o-vaso-con-agua/
But at the end it says


> La Real Academia Española acepta “vaso de agua” para referirse al contenido, pero vale indicar que el uso de las preposiciones también está sujeto a variaciones dialectales. Así que, aunque utilicemos “vaso de agua” o “vaso con agua”, de todos modos tomaremos agua.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Well, if you really want to know you can read this article
> ¿Vaso de agua o vaso con agua? | Castellano Actual | Universidad de Piura
> But at the end it says


Fascinating. I love this sort of thing.


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## alpinist (Feb 8, 2009)

Would that not be just like the old milk bottle / bottle of milk conundrum for learners of English? It might seem the same thing either way to native speakers (possibly one can be empty) but if I say _chocolate teapot_ would you imagine a teapot containing chocolate or made of it?

A funny regional one for my gf and I has been _agua con / sin gas_. I spent a lot more time in the south before moving to the north of Spain and in the south it seems that waiters assume you want fizzy water (more refreshing perhaps?), so I got into the habit of ordering _agua sin gas_. Then I moved up here where I've slowly learnt that it's the opposite, and if I order _sin gas_ they look at me as if I've two heads; the default is simply _agua _(or _con gas_, if you want that, of course).
This might seem absurd, but we were back in the south for a month this summer and tested it. Any time I ordered a simple _agua_ the waiter would respond, "_con gas_?"..


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

_Si_ said:


> Would that not be just like the old milk bottle / bottle of milk conundrum for learners of English? It might seem the same thing either way to native speakers (possibly one can be empty) but if I say _chocolate teapot_ would you imagine a teapot containing chocolate or made of it?
> 
> A funny regional one for my gf and I has been _agua con / sin gas_. I spent a lot more time in the south before moving to the north of Spain and in the south it seems that waiters assume you want fizzy water (more refreshing perhaps?), so I got into the habit of ordering _agua sin gas_. Then I moved up here where I've slowly learnt that it's the opposite, and if I order _sin gas_ they look at me as if I've two heads; the default is simply _agua _(or _con gas_, if you want that, of course).
> This might seem absurd, but we were back in the south for a month this summer and tested it. Any time I ordered a simple _agua_ the waiter would respond, "_con gas_?"..


 Indeed it is, and when I see your milk bottle/ bottle of milk example it is glaringly obvious. I asked The Oracle (my Spanish husband) and he agreed with what had been said before - it should be _vaso con agua,_ but people, in the regions we know well at least, say _vaso de agua._
With the bottle of water, again in the areas we know well (Asturias, Basque country and Madrid) you would assume you were going to get still water. In fact until recently, 2 years ago, 18 months we would always get a jug of tap water, but now most places won't serve it to you and you have to get a bottle, and that bottle will be still water.


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## Cazmac22 (Oct 7, 2018)

Wow! I have so much to learn! Do all towns have free Spanish speaking lessons? My Spanish is very limited and I’m hoping to move to Andalucía next year. How long did it take you to learn enough to be understood, and how did you do that please 😀


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Cazmac22 said:


> Wow! I have so much to learn! Do all towns have free Spanish speaking lessons? My Spanish is very limited and I’m hoping to move to Andalucía next year. How long did it take you to learn enough to be understood, and how did you do that please 😀


I don't know if all towns have free classes, but probably. They are run by the town hall (ayuntamiento) so you need to ask there. Some town halls cater for their English speaking population and have English speakers working in the town hall to help them. Others do not. It can't be taken for granted.
As for learning Spanish, here are some threads
https://www.expatforum.com/expats/s...ts-living-spain/1357290-learning-spanish.html
https://www.expatforum.com/expats/s...ts-living-spain/1304194-learning-spanish.html
https://www.expatforum.com/expats/s...ving-spain/1105386-learning-spanish-tips.html


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

My town has free Spanish classes for immigrants. Here they are not run by the Town Hall, but by the Junta de Andalucia and are held at the Adult Education Centre. 

I started off with lessons at a private language school, initially with a 4week, one hour a day course, followed by weekly lessons for a year. Then I thought I'd give the free lessons a go but after the first lesson I attended there I didn't think it would be a good learning experience for me so went back to the private language school instead. The teacher at the Adult Education Centre turned up 15 minutes late, then took a call on his mobile phone which delayed the start of the lesson still further, the room was set out classroom style in rows rather than around a table as I'd been used to so I could not hear the people behind me, the teacher left the door open so noise from the corridor outside was intrusive, the teacher spoke very quietly so I had trouble hearing him, and he wanted to timetable the 4 hours of classes a week in 4 separate sessions of 1 hour on different days which did not work for me. But others may have had much better experiences of free lessons.

As to how long it took before I could be understood, well if you are coming to Andalucia, your biggest problem won't be being understood, it will be in understanding the local people! The Andaluz accent and dialect spoken by most bears little relation to the Castellano Spanish taught in lessons. 

After 18 months of lessons and a 6 month intercambio (conversation exchange) with a native Spaniard, I got to B2 level, I'm competent but definitely not fluent.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

My town is too small for the Ayuntamiento to offer free Spanish lessons, but there are plenty of people who want to learn English and the intercambios are invaluable. I've also done some intensive courses at international language schools in Seville, Granada and Malaga which helped me a lot, as you get sessions with native speakers and learn much more than you will from a book or online course.


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