# Spirit of the Expat Forum



## Xose (Dec 10, 2008)

Does anyone else think the Lounge mentality is slowly but surely slipping into the forum's spirit?

It's a little worrying that any young person with a bit of get up and go who wants to see a bit of the world has the p!ss taken out of them, ridiculed and generally bullied by "should know better" people who, one assumes, have done it themselves.

Of course, those that are doing it could well be sitting in a saddo "johnny no mates" bedsit in Margate for all we know.

Think of it this way. If your 17/18 year old son or daughter, was on the forum asking for some guidance and motivation for their world taster formative years, how would you feel reading some of the replies recently published? 

What the hell happened to the "Gap Year" mentality - or don't the negative/p!ss take/you don't wanna do that dinosaurs on here even know what they are? Perhaps they think it's a years employment as shopping assistant at GAP!

Maybe we should just tell these young and spirited people to go for it and to hell with the hasbeens!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

I agree with you to a point. If someone is young, single and looking for adventure then yes, go for it. But it would be wrong of anyone on here to make it sound too easy cos it isnt - simple. Yes, they're people who travel the world with back packs and manage to scrape thro and have a blast! I certainly havent ever told anyone in that situation to not do it. But I cant tell em that there are 100s of jobs waiting for em.You also have to remember this is an open and public forum, so anyone can come on here and tell their story and how they find it in Spain... anyone, so there is every opportunity for those who've found it "plain sailing" and easy to get work to come on here and say so!!!


But you also have to remember and take notice of the fact that the majority of people who enquire about moving to Spain are people with families and it would be irresponsible of us to tell them to "come on over, its easy" cos it isnt! 10 years ago, when Spain was "up and coming" maybe it was, people seemed to have come over and made their luck and there were plenty of opportunities, but it isnt like that now.. it seems its all be done!

Jo xx


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## Xose (Dec 10, 2008)

jojo said:


> I agree with you to a point. If someone is young, single and looking for adventure then yes, go for it. But it would be wrong of anyone on here to make it sound too easy cos it isnt - simple. Yes, they're people who travel the world with back packs and manage to scrape thro and have a blast! I certainly havent ever told anyone in that situation to not do it. But I cant tell em that there are 100s of jobs waiting for em.You also have to remember this is an open and public forum, so anyone can come on here and tell their story and how they find it in Spain... anyone, so there is every opportunity for those who've found it "plain sailing" and easy to get work to come on here and say so!!!
> 
> 
> But you also have to remember and take notice of the fact that the majority of people who enquire about moving to Spain are people with families and it would be irresponsible of us to tell them to "come on over, its easy" cos it isnt! 10 years ago, when Spain was "up and coming" maybe it was, people seemed to have come over and made their luck and there were plenty of opportunities, but it isnt like that now.. it seems its all be done!
> ...


My point was clearly to do with youngsters taking a gap year or some such. Doing a bit of world exploration - coming on here and having the p!ss taken out of them instead of getting guidance and motivation on how best to do it from those that perhaps have done it in the past. Earning a wage and paying the rent for months at a time is low on their agenda. They really can hop on the next flight and go home.

Nothing to do with Families looking to relocate or a handyman looking to take over from Rafael Delpino.


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

I agree with your comments Jo, but at the same time I think part of who Xose said may be true - but only in relation to the way in which some people reply to posts .... having an opinion based on your own experience should always be considered acceptable - because we are passing on what we ourselves know to be true or evident in certain situations .... I think its when people stop doing that and start to post answers or comments in a way which can sound flippant, humiliating, sarcastic etc etc .... that it potentially spoils the "atmosphere" on the forum

I like coming in here - I like the people on here - and I hope the "type" of people who start to visit and take part understand that we all have a part to play in keeping it real and with the best of intentions ...

Off my soap box now!

Sue xx


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Xose said:


> My point was clearly to do with youngsters taking a gap year or some such. Doing a bit of world exploration - coming on here and having the p!ss taken out of them instead of getting guidance and motivation on how best to do it from those that perhaps have done it in the past. Earning a wage and paying the rent for months at a time is low on their agenda. They really can hop on the next flight and go home.
> 
> Nothing to do with Families looking to relocate or a handyman looking to take over from Rafael Delpino.



Yes, I understand what you're saying and maybe you're right. I hope that the info we give on here tho can be seen and understood by whoever is reading it.. for example, a "youngster" with no ties and just out to have fun shouldnt be too concerned with us banging on about no permenant jobs, rental agreements etc.. I wouldnt ever wanna put off kids with a sense of adventure, but often if you read their posts, they are asking what the job situation is and we tell em how we see it! What I'm saying is that I hope we manage to give a balanced view... and I guess what you're saying is that possibly we're not??????

I'll certainly try and make it sound a little less "depressing" to those younger visitors!!

I'm now gonna google "Rafael Delpino"???????????????????

Jo xxxx


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## Xose (Dec 10, 2008)

jojo said:


> Yes, I understand what you're saying and maybe you're right. I hope that the info we give on here tho can be seen and understood by whoever is reading it.. for example, a "youngster" with no ties and just out to have fun shouldnt be too concerned with us banging on about no permenant jobs, rental agreements etc.. I wouldnt ever wanna put off kids with a sense of adventure, but often if you read their posts, they are asking what the job situation is and we tell em how we see it! What I'm saying is that I hope we manage to give a balanced view... and I guess what you're saying is that possibly we're not??????
> 
> I'll certainly try and make it sound a little less "depressing" to those younger visitors!!
> 
> ...


Head of Ferrovial/BAA etc. Senior died last year. Jr now runs the multinational.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Xose said:


> Does anyone else think the Lounge mentality is slowly but surely slipping into the forum's spirit?
> 
> It's a little worrying that any young person with a bit of get up and go who wants to see a bit of the world has the p!ss taken out of them, ridiculed and generally bullied by "should know better" people who, one assumes, have done it themselves.
> 
> ...


Perhaps I'm missing something, or I shouldn't poke my nose in. If xose is talking about the post "Job for young motivated person" I can see *plenty *of realistic advice and *some *encouragement for this young person (who at the moment has made no reply on the forum) I'd be happy for my daughter to get this answer.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Perhaps I'm missing something, or I shouldn't poke my nose in. If xose is talking about the post "Job for young motivated person" I can see *plenty *of realistic advice and *some *encouragement for this young person (who at the moment has made no reply on the forum) I'd be happy for my daughter to get this answer.



You stick your nose in anywhere you like!!!! I guess we all read into things differently!? Bottom line is you can only "work with the tools you have" in otherwords, the people on here say what the think and how they perceive things to be, we cant do anymore than that.

What we need I suppose is some of these young explorers to come on here and say how they are finding it, but sadly those kinda kids either dont have internet access or are simply too busy havng fun ... or looking for work lol (only joking xose!!)

Jo xx


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

PW - I think it was in relation to a job posted in the Sur from MayoTom on lapdancing and bi/straights required for photo sessions. I see Xose's point.

I assume Xose took it as a sarcastic post and not a serious suggestion - I assume it was posted with tongue firmly in cheek. 

I'm surprised you wouldn't mind your daughter getting this advice?!?! LOL!!!

Maybe it's becoming a bit "familarity breeds contempt" on here, with a few of the hardened seniors having a laugh. Great - all for a bit of banter, but not knocking the newbies or others who wherever they've posted before, seriously or not (at the end of the day, who knows who we're talking to) could glean a little from the "experience" and "wisdom" imparted on here generally....hmmmm...


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

Tallulah said:


> PW - I think it was in relation to a job posted in the Sur from MayoTom on lapdancing and bi/straights required for photo sessions. I see Xose's point.
> 
> I assume Xose took it as a sarcastic post and not a serious suggestion - I assume it was posted with tongue firmly in cheek.
> 
> I'm surprised you wouldn't mind your daughter getting this advice?!?! LOL!!!


My thoughts entirely - Tally-ho lane:


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

Are you calling me a ho??

Careful, we're a little sensitive today!!! lol


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Tallulah said:


> PW - I think it was in relation to a job posted in the Sur from MayoTom on lapdancing and bi/straights required for photo sessions. I see Xose's point.
> 
> I assume Xose took it as a sarcastic post and not a serious suggestion - I assume it was posted with tongue firmly in cheek.
> 
> I'm surprised you wouldn't mind your daughter getting this advice?!?! LOL!!!



Whether the post about the job ads was sarcastic or not, those are a couple of the very few jobs advertised - fact! Its not advise. its how things are over here. Whether you want "your" kids to receive this sort of advise isnt the point. 

Jo xxx


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

jojo said:


> Whether the post about the job ads was sarcastic or not, those are a couple of the very few jobs advertised - fact! Its not advise. its how things are over here. Whether you want "your" kids to receive this sort of advise isnt the point.
> 
> Jo xxx


Well if that's the case then, put it in the useful links thread!!! lol!!!

BTW, I understand certain Eastern European types are doing thriving business down there as well. Perhaps we should supply links to them as well?!??! And then there's always the role of mule in the thriving narcotics trade....Always a winner!!!

Tally.xx


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

Tallulah said:


> Are you calling me a ho??
> 
> Careful, we're a little sensitive today!!! lol



I seem to remember calling you a young lady once...oops twice...3 times a ladyboy - lol


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Tallulah said:


> Well if that's the case then, put it in the useful links thread!!! lol!!!
> 
> BTW, I understand certain Eastern European types are doing thriving business down there as well. Perhaps we should supply links to them as well?!??! And then there's always the role of mule in the thriving narcotics trade....Always a winner!!!
> 
> Tally.xx



well if these places wish to advertise on here they could, the forum has a "jobs in spain" section, however they would have to pay the premium account rates as advertisers! Obvioulsy the illegal ones wouldnt be allowed!

jo xx


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

jojo said:


> well if these places wish to advertise on here they could, the forum has a "jobs in spain" section, however they would have to pay the premium account rates as advertisers! Obvioulsy the illegal ones wouldnt be allowed!
> 
> jo xx


:clap2: Excellent! I'll be sure to advise the Russian Mafia that they must have a Premium Account before they advertise for staff!!!!:rofl:

Tally.xxx


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

jojo said:


> well if these places wish to advertise on here they could, the forum has a "jobs in spain" section, however they would have to pay the premium account rates as advertisers! Obvioulsy the illegal ones wouldnt be allowed!
> 
> jo xx


Wot, you mean the no actual contract of employment "opportunities"

No sickness pay, official holidays and no NI contributions ~ lol

Imagine if the government actually did anything about such "illegal" slave labour,
a vast amount of restaurants and bars would close and unemployment would soar through the roof, its a funny old world we live in :juggle:


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

SunnySpain said:


> I seem to remember calling you a young lady once...oops twice...3 times a ladyboy - lol


Wo man!! 

Take ten paces back or you'll be lying where your shoelaces at. 
You never seen a lady with a baseball bat? :whip:


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

Hiya ..... the comment re lapdancing / poledancing whatever it was ... I have to admit that I laughed at that and even replied to Mayotom in a similar flippant manner! but I certainly didnt mean any offence to be taken by the OP or any others youngsters who had posted similar requests regarding jobs and employment ...

I took Xose´s comments to be linked to the post I mentioned above (Sorry Xose I played a part in that one !!!) .... and another one where an OP was sort of got at ....

I dont think we should take it toooooooooooooooo seriously though - the tone and respect on this forum is pretty much spot on! we generally know who we can poke fun at,,,,who we can laugh with ..... and who we need to careful with ....... I would hate us to become too serious and pc ...... there are times when we need to be grown ups and times when we can be pretty well silly !!!

:grouphug:


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

SunnySpain said:


> Wot, you mean the no actual contract of employment "opportunities"
> 
> No sickness pay, official holidays and no NI contributions ~ lol
> 
> ...


Getting a contract's not a problem with the employees I was referring to. Sure to be a hit man!!!


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

Tallulah said:


> You never seen a lady with a baseball bat? :whip:



Do you mean, a ladyboy 

Talking about Ladyboy's, has anyone ever been to Ladyboy Island - lol


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

SunnySpain said:


> Wot, you mean the no actual contract of employment "opportunities"
> 
> No sickness pay, official holidays and no NI contributions ~ lol
> 
> ...


.... and back to the OPs original point, well sort of, Its "those" sort of jobs that "young people" who are travelling in their gap years etc want!? Are there many of these jobs around and should we be encouraging them to come over... well I dunno, there is a bit of this type of work, but most of it is who you know and there is fierce competition from spanish/expat youngsters who are just leaving school for the summer. There, I sound like I'm on a "downer" again. but the facts are the facts... but as I always say, if you're young, free, single and have nowt to lose, then why the hell not!!??


Jo xxx


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

Suenneil said:


> Hiya ..... the comment re lapdancing / poledancing whatever it was ... I have to admit that I laughed at that and even replied to Mayotom in a similar flippant manner! but I certainly didnt mean any offence to be taken by the OP or any others youngsters who had posted similar requests regarding jobs and employment ...
> 
> I took Xose´s comments to be linked to the post I mentioned above (Sorry Xose I played a part in that one !!!) .... and another one where an OP was sort of got at ....
> 
> ...



Completely agreed in general, Sue. But with tender minds, one has to be careful. Not as seasoned as some of us here!:eyebrows:

:grouphug:

Tally.xxx


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

SunnySpain said:


> Do you mean, a ladyboy
> 
> Talking about Ladyboy's, has anyone ever been to Ladyboy Island - lol


P-off! I'm all woman. But I think we're seeing another side to you, Dave!! If that's your preference, pop over to the Thailand Forum!!!:clap2:


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

Tallulah said:


> P-off! I'm all woman. But I think we're seeing another side to you, Dave!! If that's your preference, pop over to the Thailand Forum!!!:clap2:


lol - tis was "una broma"

I kid you not, there was a thread on the Thai forum about "ladyboy island"

Love you long time


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

SunnySpain said:


> Love you long time


Now you're bragging!:eyebrows:


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## El Pichichi (Jun 16, 2009)

I've only looked at a few threads and maybe I got the wrong impression as people seemed very friendly. 

I think each post should be judged on its own merits whatever the context but there is no need to talk down to people who are just trying to make a better life for themselves. If that is indeed happening then it is the people talking down to others that I feel sorry for.


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

Tallulah said:


> Completely agreed in general, Sue. But with tender minds, one has to be careful. Not as seasoned as some of us here!:eyebrows:
> 
> :grouphug:
> 
> Tally.xxx


Agreed .... and I do try to take into account the potential age or experience of any new member or poster on here before I reply .... I think it often goes off at a tangent once a couple of us have commented ... we tend to start talking about something completely different or using the "language" or "approach" between each other that we have gotten used to ...... so maybe we need to be mindful of that in future.

Sue x


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

El Pichichi said:


> I've only looked at a few threads and maybe I got the wrong impression as people seemed very friendly.
> 
> I think each post should be judged on its own merits whatever the context but there is no need to talk down to people who are just trying to make a better life for themselves. If that is indeed happening then it is the people talking down to others that I feel sorry for.



Hi Rich, I was just gonna answer your post, I will in a mo. Anyway, wise words from you. I think alot of the problems with forums and indeed any kind of "text peak" is that the emotion and the "delivery" is lost. I know I can come across quite harsh both when I write or speak. I dont ever mean it, face to face or verbally I can laugh or smile, but on a forum... well I use lotsa smilies!! I hope I dont sound like I'm talking down to anyone, cos hell, I dont know nowt about how other people want their lives to be or their personal expectations! Right, now lets go have a look at your post 

Jo xxx


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## mayotom (Nov 8, 2008)

Hey here I'am on the defence..

I agree with the OP in some ways , but more so with Jojo because we do have to be realistic with the current economic climate. 

Considering that this is a forum for Ex-Pats then it is focused on people planning more long term relocations and not just Gap years. although they are welcome.

Re the post from Francis he is clearly not a youngster(teenager) , and is looking for a relocation not a fun time.

As for my post re Lap dancers, well Jojo has brought up a very valid point that if you look in Sur at the moment the only jobs are in Lap dancing and Sales Scams(before anybody jumps on that, we all know they are) that pay commissions only and lead to people moving to Spain to live the dream and run out of cash fast then go home. That from Experience(not the lap dancing) . 

Bringing a bit of Sarcasim to the Forum doesn't harm anybody really, its even gotten to the point that Lap Dancing has now featured in most of today's Active Threads  tallulah



Therefore Sharing our experiences both good and bad is helpful, but we do need to be realistic about the whole thing.


Ok Now Im Rambling :ranger:


So does anybody consider comments like "That Irish Ho" and "F***ing Irish Guy" a tad racist


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

mayotom said:


> Bringing a bit of Sarcasim to the Forum doesn't harm anybody really, its even gotten to the point that Lap Dancing has now featured in most of today's Active Threads  tallulah
> 
> So does anybody consider comments like "That Irish Ho" and "F***ing Irish Guy" a tad racist


 Nah - I thought that was your job title!!!


I think Xose made it clear he was against trampling on a young person's dreams, not the current economic climate....or the reality of jobs available. After all, there are dozens of puti clubs all over the national roads, with their neon club signs. I don't imagine any of us would suggest to these younguns wanting to see the world that they go in there for a job!! Mind you, perhaps if they advertised in El Sur?!?!

Anyway, MayoTom, let's chill - weather's great, we had a little exercise this morning. Time for a beer, n'est ce pas?

Tallulah.x


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

mayotom said:


> So does anybody consider comments like "That Irish Ho" and "F***ing Irish Guy" a tad racist



its only racist if you dont like being referred to as Irish??? So no I dont see it as racist, I see it as personal and insulting and thats worse! But if you dont take offense or let it bother you it means nothing.... and why should it bother you? I doubt if you care one jot about the sender or his opinions and he doesnt know you from a bar of soap!! So just ignore it!  I'm saying all this in a light hearted, fun kinda way with a smile..  So please dont think I'm being nasty, I'm not, its not my style . 

Jo xx


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## El Pichichi (Jun 16, 2009)

Ah racism. the most misunderstood term in most countries. 

Apparently everything is racist thesedays paddy.


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

I think Tom will agree with me on this.....you can call me _anything_ you like! But just don't call me English!


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

Offence ? Racism ? stereotyping ? the amount of times in any one week I get pulled up about my Yorkshire accent !!! unbelievable ..... I dont even notice it - but everyone else does apparently! and then I get asked about flat caps and whippets ..... always makes me laugh actually - dont think Ive ever found it offensive ... but thats not to say another Yorkshire lass may react differently !


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## mayotom (Nov 8, 2008)

Tallulah said:


> Nah - I thought that was your job title!!!


not anymore . I got fired, was poking the paying guests too much



Tallulah said:


> Anyway, MayoTom, let's chill - weather's great, we had a little exercise this morning. Time for a beer, n'est ce pas?


Do we have too??? 

I love a good banter.

Ah well I'm off home soon after another productive day in the office, apart from the 3 hours I went missing


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

Suenneil said:


> Offence ? Racism ? stereotyping ? the amount of times in any one week I get pulled up about my Yorkshire accent !!! unbelievable ..... I dont even notice it - but everyone else does apparently! and then I get asked about flat caps and whippets ..... always makes me laugh actually - dont think Ive ever found it offensive ... but thats not to say another Yorkshire lass may react differently !


Hopefully there's been no trouble at'mill today Sue? You tell that Arkwright guy to wise up!


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## El Pichichi (Jun 16, 2009)

XTreme said:


> Hopefully there's been no trouble at'mill today Sue? You tell that Arkwright guy to wise up!


Trouble at mill? Luxury, what I wouldn't give f' trouble at mill. When I were kid I'd have to get up 4 hours before I went t' bed, lick matchbox that all 24 of us lived in clean, work in t'woolpack as seth's facial hair for no pay and without break and then when I come home Andy Sugden's great grandad would kill us with m1 machine gun and do the macarena on our dead body. You try tellin kid's today that though, and they won't believe ye!


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## mayotom (Nov 8, 2008)

Can't not be somewhat racist here in the UAE, some nationalities get offended if you treat them as equal to yourself, and also it goes the other way around with the locals..



jojo said:


> its only racist if you dont like being referred to as Irish???


 I'm very proud of been Irish Go raibh maith agat, wouldn't change it for the world, on the subject of world, half the world wants to be Irish, Even that Obama guy has been saying he's Irish along with been, American,Hawaiian(I know the same), Kenyan, Indonesian and many more





XTreme said:


> I think Tom will agree with me on this.....you can call me _anything_ you like! But just don't call me English!


:clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2:


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

XTreme said:


> Hopefully there's been no trouble at'mill today Sue? You tell that Arkwright guy to wise up!


No trouble at Mill Xtreme - but I wer darn pit this morning and it wer black as bloody night! c**t even see mi whippet!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

Suenneil said:


> No trouble at Mill Xtreme - but I wer darn pit this morning and it wer black as bloody night! c**t even see mi whippet!


I can get down there quick and whippet in and whippet out Sue!


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

XTreme said:


> I can get down there quick and whippet in and whippet out Sue!


ha ha ha ha ha ha you are sooooooooooo bad! behave yourself and go and feed a donkey or something !!!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

Suenneil said:


> ha ha ha ha ha ha you are sooooooooooo bad! behave yourself and go and feed a donkey or something !!!


Another virtual face slapping for then!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Tallulah said:


> PW - I think it was in relation to a job posted in the Sur from MayoTom on lapdancing and bi/straights required for photo sessions. I see Xose's point.
> 
> I assume Xose took it as a sarcastic post and not a serious suggestion - I assume it was posted with tongue firmly in cheek.
> 
> ...


I quickly correct my previous comment. Lap dancing and dubious photo sessions are definitely OUT as good advice for my daughter, let's make this clear !!
I too assumed this advice was tongue in cheek.
I think the posts get seriously off the subject at times, but I felt that in this particular case the poster did actually receive good quality info, with a few jokes thrown in


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## susanspain (Sep 5, 2008)

I haven't located/read the original post where Xose's daughter was given dubious feedback/advice...
But as for general comment on how things work in here/how we treat each other...
Sometimes there is good, sometimes there is bad.. But in general it seems to be a friendly supportive place. 
You should hear the banter they give in another forum which I subscribe to... 
You need an armour plated outer to bounce off the inuendos and childish prankery...
NB I only go on that forum as it is a special interest area to me and there are none (to my knowledge) that cover the same topic. I have to put up with the C**p to get some good stuff once in a while. 
Would prefer it othewise, but I have to grit my teeth as there seems to be no alternative site  

I am sure we would all be shouting and jumping up and down if THIS forum turned negative/flippant!


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