# we're sorted for now ??????



## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

I've been a bit preoccupied and quiet on the forum since the weekend as we were having a major family crisis/discussion/war/rows, tears - all our issues came to a head! My 12yo daughter went back to the UK and returned to Spain kicking and screaming cos she wanted to stay in the UK! Also we'd come to a decision that the school fees were too much for us to handle and my husband was finding the travelling to Spain and his work load in the UK too much (he's never settled in Spain)

So should we go back to the UK, should we take the kids out of international, should we split the family and OH and daughter live in the UK and my son and I stay in Spain?? We've literally been arguing, crying, talking, pulling our hair out all weekend!


Anyway, the final decision has been made and my daughter IS now going to a state school!! Tomorrow will be her first day! The school wasnt easy to get into as we dont live in the catchment area. It looks to me like a really nice school its an IES school and is clean, modern and in a nice area!! She's sitting here now terrified, but happy! We've decided that she's gonna give it til next June and if she finds it too difficult and isnt happy,, then we go back to the UK, which is her real preference! 

Jo xxx


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

jojo said:


> I've been a bit preoccupied and quiet on the forum since the weekend as we were having a major family crisis/discussion/war/rows, tears - all our issues came to a head! My 12yo daughter went back to the UK and returned to Spain kicking and screaming cos she wanted to stay in the UK! Also we'd come to a decision that the school fees were too much for us to handle and my husband was finding the travelling to Spain and his work load in the UK too much (he's never settled in Spain)
> 
> So should we go back to the UK, should we take the kids out of international, should we split the family and OH and daughter live in the UK and my son and I stay in Spain?? We've literally been arguing, crying, talking, pulling our hair out all weekend!
> 
> ...


Jo, I'm so glad to hear that you're not going back. Your daughter obviously takes after you cos she's got determination:boxing: and she's giving it her best go, so well done to her. :lol:
Of course she's terrified - I would be!! But really, not all schools have to be like the one she went to before. My daughter is very happy at her secondary school and the teachers are pretty nice too so it *can* all work out, and it's certainly *not* too late in the year for her to join in and make friends although of course it may take time.
Wishing you all the best,
Hope that this time everything will work out 
PW


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Jo, I'm so glad to hear that you're not going back. Your daughter obviously takes after you cos she's got determination:boxing: and she's giving it her best go, so well done to her. :lol:
> Of course she's terrified - I would be!! But really, not all schools have to be like the one she went to before. My daughter is very happy at her secondary school and the teachers are pretty nice too so it *can* all work out, and it's certainly *not* too late in the year for her to join in and make friends although of course it may take time.
> Wishing you all the best,
> Hope that this time everything will work out
> PW



Thanks PW, the scary thing is, the state school starts at 8.15!!! EEEEKKK!!! I'm used to a 9.30 start at the international!!!

Jo xxx


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

jojo said:


> Thanks PW, the scary thing is, the state school starts at 8.15!!! EEEEKKK!!! I'm used to a 9.30 start at the international!!!
> 
> Jo xxx


I know we've had a chat about this before Jo , but I just wanted to say all the best to Ruby for her starting at the new school tomorrow. I know girls of that age are extremely determined and stubborn (where do they get it from?!?) but I'm hopeful that this will be the right (and hopefully final) move for her...just get into discussions pdq with the teachers (esp. apoyo teachers) and see what they can offer Ruby as support to get her settled. If she knows she's got until next summer, she may hold you over a barrel....but hopefully it won't come to that??? Really hoping it all works out for all of you.

Tally.xxx


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## Caz.I (Mar 21, 2009)

jojo said:


> Thanks PW, the scary thing is, the state school starts at 8.15!!! EEEEKKK!!! I'm used to a 9.30 start at the international!!!
> 
> Jo xxx



Glad she managed to get a place, and hope it works out for her. Good luck to the both of you.

Caz.I


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

For god sake go back to the UK! Never see your husband, your daughter wants to be in the UK. If your husband was there then ok, but it seems insanity for "your dreams".

What are you doing! Everyone else will tell you to hang in there, it will get better but it all seems a bit unstable to me. The sacrafices someone will do for a bit of sunshine eh?


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

maxd said:


> For god sake go back to the UK! Never see your husband, your daughter wants to be in the UK. If your husband was there then ok, but it seems insanity for "your dreams".
> 
> What are you doing!


Ignoring you I hope!!


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## Xose (Dec 10, 2008)

maxd said:


> For god sake go back to the UK! Never see your husband, your daughter wants to be in the UK. If your husband was there then ok, but it seems insanity for "your dreams".
> 
> What are you doing! Everyone else will tell you to hang in there, it will get better but it all seems a bit unstable to me. The sacrafices someone will do for a bit of sunshine eh?


You really have an eye for the detail don't you? - In all matters it would appear.

JoJo has another child with a year left of secondary education here in Spain. A small concideration for you perhaps, but quite a major one for adults.

Xose


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

maxd said:


> For god sake go back to the UK! Never see your husband, your daughter wants to be in the UK. If your husband was there then ok, but it seems insanity for "your dreams".
> 
> What are you doing! Everyone else will tell you to hang in there, it will get better but it all seems a bit unstable to me. The sacrafices someone will do for a bit of sunshine eh?



When you write advise (which I wasnt actually asking for), you should understand the whole story and its very obvious you dont. This is what we as a family have been discussing - We need to make informed choices and not listen to those who havent a clue about our circumstances and issues!

One example of what I mean is our three dogs wouldnt be able to go back until May at the earliest due to having to wait the statatory 6 months for their passports. I'm not sure my kids or the family could live with the idea of leaving 3 very precious family pets who have been with us since they were puppies in the UK and are now 9 years old! - thats one very simple problem, altho we have discussed having them "put down"! trust me, there are several other issues

Jo


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

Glad you've got a solution for the moment Jo,

My take on this is that your daughter is not old enough to make an informed decision on _where_ her life is going to be better.

We know the answer to that.....and it's a no brainer.....so you have to make the decision for her.

An International School is not the answer.....you're paying a small fortune for it.....plus you're sending out a message that you don't want to live in the same way as the Spanish. Effectively, you're creating a divide.

Now if she had a nice horse it would turn her life round here.....she'd have a real tie to Spain, she'd have a great interest and a reson to be here, and make her loads of new friends.

Remember....I can get you a deal from Horses Andalucia.....this is where we keep the horse and donkey.


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## Veronica (Apr 5, 2008)

jojo I am so glad you have managed to come to an agreement. 
I know you have had a hard time trying to make the right decision for everyone.
Maybe by the time next June comes around your daughter will have settled and you wont have to go back at all. But at least it gives you time to get the dogs passports renewed so that you can take them back with you if it comes to that.

Veronica


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## Hombre (Sep 10, 2009)

Go where your heart takes you Jo..........


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

Hombre said:


> Go where your heart takes you Jo..........


Can't see a trip to Marks and Spencers is going to help Hombre.


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

jojo said:


> When you write advise (which I wasnt actually asking for), you should understand the whole story and its very obvious you dont. This is what we as a family have been discussing - We need to make informed choices and not listen to those who havent a clue about our circumstances and issues!
> 
> One example of what I mean is our three dogs wouldnt be able to go back until May at the earliest due to having to wait the statatory 6 months for their passports. I'm not sure my kids or the family could live with the idea of leaving 3 very precious family pets who have been with us since they were puppies in the UK and are now 9 years old! - thats one very simple problem, altho we have discussed having them "put down"! trust me, there are several other issues
> 
> Jo


Ok Aplogies. You could always have your husband put down, that may solve some of the issues 


I remember Liz Taylor never visited the Uk because of her dogs either. The UK law on quantine is abysmal. I have been living on the continent for 12 years and have yet to come across a rabid animal.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Well as the title of my post says we're sorted for now. What also has to be taken into account is the mentality of 12 year old girls!!! We couldnt all pile back just on her latest whim, a week in England with her old friends is one thing, she was the novelty that they all wanted to see. Moving back there wouldnt have the same effect, the school in the UK she'd HAVE to attend isnt the one her friends go to (catchment area issues) and is pretty awful, so unless she could go to "that" school she didnt want to go back. And I know my daughter, I'd give it a month tops before she'd be whining that she didnt like it there anymore and could we go back to Spain now!!!??! She loves it here to you know

Funny how these family "discussions go, cos like you Max, I was the one saying lets go back, I cant cope being on my own, watching OH work his butt off, getting stressed commuting, seeing Ruby miserable, the cold in the winter in Spain - it was OH and my son (AND my daughter when she thought about it) who were trying to work out ways of staying!! 

Then of course, if we went back, we'd have to kick our older children out of the family home - no big deal at their ages, but it would need to be done with some thought!

Having OH put down!! now theres a thought, would his life assurance pay out tho LOL?????



Jo xxxx


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## jkchawner (Dec 21, 2008)

jojo said:


> Well as the title of my post says we're sorted for now. What also has to be taken into account is the mentality of 12 year old girls!!! We couldnt all pile back just on her latest whim, a week in England with her old friends is one thing, she was the novelty that they all wanted to see. Moving back there wouldnt have the same effect, the school in the UK she'd HAVE to attend isnt the one her friends go to (catchment area issues) and is pretty awful, so unless she could go to "that" school she didnt want to go back. And I know my daughter, I'd give it a month tops before she'd be whining that she didnt like it there anymore and could we go back to Spain now!!!??! She loves it here to you know
> 
> Funny how these family "discussions go, cos like you Max, I was the one saying lets go back, I cant cope being on my own, watching OH work his butt off, getting stressed commuting, seeing Ruby miserable, the cold in the winter in Spain - it was OH and my son (AND my daughter when she thought about it) who were trying to work out ways of staying!!
> 
> ...


i hope its something u can all sort out jo when we met u both u and ruby looked to be doing fine in spain. now normaly i would say go with your heart but i tend to side with extreme. i feel u and your oh have to call the shots on this one due to rubys age. good luck in whatever u decide,
but how happy would u all be back in the uk ?
the cash bit u mention school fee's etc must be hard to find all the time. i think in all honesty your biggest divide in the family is hubbys business in the uk. the hours involved in travling and stress from being apart etc etc
all the best in sorting this out to all of u.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

thanks for all your replies! and the reason for my originally posting this is to say sorry for not being around much on here and sorry if I've come across a tad grumpy!!

Xtreme, I know what you're saying about international schools, but we chose the most "spanish" we could find, it really isnt like a "little Britain" school like so many of the others we looked at, its more of an international school for the Spanish, cos the spanish like the idea of their kids being educated to be bilingual - we saw it as a "half way house" as IMO our children at 11 and 13 were a bit too old to get thrown in the deep end - maybe we were wrong??? but hindsight's a wonderful thing isnt it!!!!!

The one thing we did work out during this weekend of "discussion" is actually the ammount of money the move to Spain has cost us - so keep that thought in mind any "wannabe expats" reading this. Not counting the school fees, simply the move and moving out here into a rented property has cost us several 1000€ and apart from the car (which has depreciated) and a few bits of furnture, none of it can be recouped - and then the cost of moving back to the UK wouldnt be cheap either!


Anyway, now we have a plan and providing there are no more economic or family crisis' We are set to stay til next summer and from there we'll review the situation! Hopefully it will be to sell the UK house and OHs business and .....??????????????????????????????


Jo xxx


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

http://www.phase3southampton.co.uk/news 

You from Soton? Can understand not wanting to go back


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

maxd said:


> http://www.phase3southampton.co.uk/news
> 
> You from Soton? Can understand not wanting to go back


LOL!! Thats where OHs business is, we're actually from Worthing! Which isnt any better!!!! BTW, I didnt take offense at your post telling me to go back, I understand what you were saying, I've been saying exactly that to the family, but as you well know, nothing is that simple!! 


Jo xxx


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

You can't leave.....Spain won't be able to fulfill it's quota of dumb blondes!


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## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

Jo,
I think it's great that you posted this message. I suspect there isn't an expat among us who hasn't at some point at least entertained the notion of chucking it all and moving "back home" when things get difficult. (And at some point in every expat experience things get difficult!)

Usually, the best approach to take is to step back, try to identify the "real" problem and buy yourself a bit of time to try and deal with that before calling the moving company.

As you mentioned, what if you had uprooted and headed back, and then your daughter didn't like the school she was in back home? Or maybe the DH just needs to have a target date for ending the back and forth commute and all the headaches that go with that. (My DH is seriously overworked and overstressed at the moment, but he's French, so we don't have the option to go "back" anywhere - plus he's already threatened me that if I want us to move back to the US, I'll have to find a job where I can support him! :ballchain: )

The life of the expat isn't nearly the carefree one most people seem to believe it is. 
Cheers,
Bev


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

jojo said:


> thanks for all your replies! and the reason for my originally posting this is to say sorry for not being around much on here and sorry if I've come across a tad grumpy!!
> 
> Xtreme, I know what you're saying about international schools, but we chose the most "spanish" we could find, it really isnt like a "little Britain" school like so many of the others we looked at, its more of an international school for the Spanish, cos the spanish like the idea of their kids being educated to be bilingual - we saw it as a "half way house"
> 
> ...


Jo, while I appreciate the apology I think you'll have seen the "tad" of grumpiness has been pretty widespread on the forum!! 

As for the school issue, you had your well thought out reasons and it didn't work out for what ever other reasons. New school, new era! Can't wait to see how you all get on!

And certainly moving anywhere is hugely expensive and something that has to be finely calculated to see if it's worth your while or not...


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Ok, I've just picked Ruby up from her first day at State school and SHE LOVED IT!!! She was full of how great it was, how lovely her new class mates are. She's the only British girl in the class and the class are thrilled to have her in there!!! I've cried with relief all the way home! Early days I know, but a great start. I'm so happy and so proud of her!!!

Jo xx


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

XTreme said:


> Glad you've got a solution for the moment Jo,
> 
> My take on this is that your daughter is not old enough to make an informed decision on _where_ her life is going to be better.
> 
> ...


Nice anchor text. Oh and look at the bottom of that site who it was designed by

Web Design Spain 

Covert link building


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

maxd said:


> Nice anchor text. Oh and look at the bottom of that site who it was designed by
> 
> Web Design Spain
> 
> Covert link building


Hardly covert, trust me, Xtreme doesnt do covert LOL!!!! Anyone is allowed to post one link/one line under their signature. Premium account holders are allowed to advertise in the classified section too!!!!

Jo xxx


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

jojo said:


> Hardly covert, trust me, Xtreme doesnt do covert LOL!!!! Anyone is allowed to post one link/one line under their signature. Premium account holders are allowed to advertise in the classified section too!!!!
> 
> Jo xxx


yeah, but that was in the body text  Anyway Xtreme it is still in the quoted text, so helps you out


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

maxd said:


> Nice anchor text. Oh and look at the bottom of that site who it was designed by
> 
> Web Design Spain
> 
> Covert link building


Oooh....you telling teacher are you?

Jo....get your school outfit on!


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

XTreme said:


> Oooh....you telling teacher are you?
> 
> Jo....get your school outfit on!


Brilliant!


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## Veronica (Apr 5, 2008)

maxd said:


> Nice anchor text. Oh and look at the bottom of that site who it was designed by
> 
> Web Design Spain
> 
> Covert link building


My question is why are you so focussed on the Spain forum when you are in the 
Czech Republic?


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

Veronica said:


> My question is why are you so focussed on the Spain forum when you are in the
> Czech Republic?


Was thinking of moving there in the winter months, so I joined this forum in March but after a stay in Estopana I found it was too damn cold over the winter months.

I also have a business in Barcelona and Madrid and come to Spain a few times a year.
I had a Spainish question a few days ago, so I posted but you have these damn autoresonders everytime a message has been posted in a thread, so I keep on clicking on them and posting again 

Do not worry, I will be gone in a few days when people stop replying to these threads!

And hey, you are in Cyprus so that is like the pot calling the kettle and all that.


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

Thats great Jo, my grandchildren go to state school in Spain and love it, but I do know that a 15 year old is full of hormones so life is not so easy for her but she has got off to a great start and fingers crossed it remains that way

maiden x


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## Veronica (Apr 5, 2008)

maxd said:


> Was thinking of moving there in the winter months, so I joined this forum in March but after a stay in Estopana I found it was too damn cold over the winter months.
> 
> I also have a business in Barcelona and Madrid and come to Spain a few times a year.
> I had a Spainish question a few days ago, so I posted but you have these damn autoresonders everytime a message has been posted in a thread, so I keep on clicking on them and posting again
> ...


Too Cold?
So what are the temps like in the Czech republic?
As for me being in Cyprus I am a mod and we wander all over the forum.


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

Veronica said:


> Too Cold?
> So what are the temps like in the Czech republic?


That is why I want to leave!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

What businesses you got here then Max?


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## maxd (Mar 22, 2009)

XTreme said:


> What businesses you got here then Max?


Is that a prompt for anchor text XTreme ?

Short lets apartments in Madrid and Barcelona.


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

maxd said:


> Is that a prompt for anchor text XTreme ?
> 
> Short lets apartments in Madrid and Barcelona.


You've done it again Max!

Jo will be giving me six of the best now!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

XTreme said:


> You've done it again Max!
> 
> Jo will be giving me six of the best now!



In your dreams LOL!!!!!!

Jo xxxx


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

jojo said:


> Ok, I've just picked Ruby up from her first day at State school and SHE LOVED IT!!! She was full of how great it was, how lovely her new class mates are. She's the only British girl in the class and the class are thrilled to have her in there!!! I've cried with relief all the way home! Early days I know, but a great start. I'm so happy and so proud of her!!!
> 
> Jo xx



Great!!
As you say, early days, but so important that the first day was good.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Great!!
> As you say, early days, but so important that the first day was good.


I'm thrilled!! I've been so anxious all day. She came out of school and said "well its wasnt good" and my heart sank and then she looked at me, smiled and said "it wasnt good cos it was great" I just burst into tears,(cos I'm a softy really) and she laughed, then waved "hasta mañana" to her new friends and hasnt stopped talking about it since!!!!

Jo xxxxx


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

That's good news Jo!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

jojo said:


> I'm thrilled!! I've been so anxious all day. She came out of school and said "well its wasnt good" and my heart sank and then she looked at me, smiled and said "it wasnt good cos it was great" I just burst into tears,(cos I'm a softy really) and she laughed, then waved "hasta mañana" to her new friends and hasnt stopped talking about it since!!!!
> 
> Jo xxxxx


Little b+gg+r, playing that trick on her poor Mum  !!


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## jockm (Jun 23, 2009)

*Fabbo!*

Hi Jo, I'm just back from a 5 day holiday in Vanuatu so I've missed the comings and goings on the forum! Great to hear that things are working out. I certainly wouldn't be seeing the state school as the lesser option - I think it sounds great - you've sussed it out and determined it is a good school, and I guess she has good enough spanish to comfortably slip in with the spanish students (I would be interested to know if that's the case)... I would love to hear a bit further down the track how she is going (you may remember we are hoping to go to Logrono next year along with my 13 year old daughter). Anyway, I'm really pleased you went for this option and feel sure this little bump in the family's trajectory will lead to bigger and better things! No doubt you will look back and wonder why you didn't do it earlier!
Besos!
Jockm


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Well its early days on the school front, but so far, so good!!!??? It is a really good school and my daughter seems really happy there - so far !!!!! It has bilingual programme thats being set up - mainly for the Spanish who want their children to be bilingual as opposed to just having English lessons, so Ruby should be involved with that!

I am begining to think it would be nice if my son could go there too (if only cos its so much nearer than his school and the school run is taking nearly two hours now!!!), but I think at almost 15yo and into his IGSCE course, its not a good time to mess about with his education!

Isnt hindsight a wonderful thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heres a link to her school for anyone who's interested, its in Spanish tho lol http://www.iescapellania.es/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=64&Itemid=69

Jo xxx


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

jojo said:


> I've been a bit preoccupied and quiet on the forum since the weekend as we were having a major family crisis/discussion/war/rows, tears - all our issues came to a head! Jo xxx


Just a quick line to wish you all every success and to say I hope it all works out for you.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

SteveHall said:


> Just a quick line to wish you all every success and to say I hope it all works out for you.


Thanks Steve, things are looking good - for now !!!!????!



Jo xx


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

Much like with any teenagers anywhere in the world I guess. 

See you soon


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