# Questions about life in spain.



## Captain Leaky (Jun 22, 2011)

Hi what views do people have on the following. 

Spanish people and how they view english people in there country.

Youth culture.

Spanish family ethos

We are thinking of moving to Spain or france, we have 3 kids 17,15 and 6yrs old, and you know im not sure about bringing my little boy up in England.


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## Stravinsky (Aug 12, 2007)

Captain Leaky said:


> Hi what views do people have on the following.
> 
> Spanish people and how they view english people in there country.
> 
> ...


Well ..... I bought my daughter up in the UK and I'm proud to be her father. The right schools need to be picked, and they have to be part of a family rather than someone you pass in the evening when you get home, just as they are going out 

How Spanish people view Brits ... well, you're going to get a lot of different opinions I'm afraid. Here in CB North we are treated kindly and with a smile. We dont talk to Spanish people in English (although our Spanish is not wonderful) and they appreciate that. We dont go and ask for a pint of lager or bitter (yes, I've heard that done), and I'm fully of the opinion that you get back what you give. If you are one of the brits that shouts a lot and trys to be part of little britain in Spain then you might not get the same reaction.

In areas where Brits on tour are dick heads, then I've seen different reactions, like in some areas on Benidorm

Youth Culture here is different to the UK totally. I have never once felt nervous when out because of a group of Spanish kids. They are generally courteous and dont give you any grief. That has some bearing, I think, on the Spanish family way of life. Having said that, they can be bloody noisy 

Family Ethos ... well, I can speak for other areas but from what I have seen around here, Family is King. Families get together at weekends and have meals together and I often see a garage full of people on Sunday having a feast 

Your only problem is going to be (a) work and (b) your two youngest children. If the 15 year old is still at school, then walking into a spanish school with no language skills could be a nightmare. The 6 year old is probably about right to take on Spanish educataion and maybe be bilingual within a year or so, but might struggle at first.

Good luck in your decisions, but please research everything carefully and take your time


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Captain Leaky said:


> Hi what views do people have on the following.
> 
> Spanish people and how they view english people in there country.
> 
> ...


I'd pretty much go along with everything Stravinsky said

here's a recent discussion we had in La Tasca (that's spanish for 'the pub')

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/la-tasca/74988-youth-behaviour-british-v-spanish.html


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

It really depends enormously where you are. We live in a small rural town with very few immigrants (or expats as some people like to call themselves) and we were made very welcome by the locals, some of whom are now good friends. They are scathing towards some of the Brits here who drink too much and don't learn Spanish, but they are still polite to their faces (they need their business).

As said above, family is everything here. Kids are treated really well, and are generally well behaved. Teenagers are not treated as pariahs, they are part of the community. There is virtually no violent crime and very little vandalism in my town. There is some petty theft and a growing drug problem, as everywhere, largely due to the appalling 45% unemployment rate amongst young people.

PS Tell your wife that teachers are respected here, not blamed for society's ills as they often are in the UK.


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## Captain Leaky (Jun 22, 2011)

Thank you very much for both your replies.

Im taking a few mins out from reading the Youth topic to write this.

We are thinking about next September, the oldest will 18 then and would have finished her A levels, if she goes to uni then thats fine and can visit us during the hols.If not she can either come with us or live with her Dad( who lives in the same town and has a big involvement in the girls lives,which is good.), im her step dad. The youngest girl would of finished her GCSE's and would want to do her A levels which she could either do by staying with her dad or coming with us and going to a British school, the boy who is my son would be 7 then would be fine.
As for work thats the tricky thing, we would have to be very lucky to get the timing right.My OH is a Deputy Head of a Secondary school so we are looking now for Deputy Head and Head positions in Spain,if it was for starting earlier say January fine but just a bit more tricky for us.Im a plumber and know we couldnt live off any work i could possibly get, if i got any at all.

We would have to live near an Expat area due to her job, but no i would to think myself as a Brit SHOUTER. About 15yrs ago i cycled on my own from Santander to the Alentejo region of Portugal,what an amazing 5 weeks, i tried my best to speak the language, if you dont talk to people when your on your own it gets lonely.I was in the bar at the ferry terminal in Santander on my way back to England and was shocked all these sun tanned Brits couldnt even order there beer in Spanish, how rude.

Im not slagging bringing kids up in the Uk though for a boy im worried about the violence (and the girls are catching up) its just i think i can give him a better life.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Alcalaina said:


> It really depends enormously where you are. We live in a small rural town with very few immigrants (or expats as some people like to call themselves) and we were made very welcome by the locals, some of whom are now good friends. They are scathing towards some of the Brits here who drink too much and don't learn Spanish, but they are still polite to their faces (they need their business).
> 
> As said above, family is everything here. Kids are treated really well, and are generally well behaved. Teenagers are not treated as pariahs, they are part of the community. There is virtually no violent crime and very little vandalism in my town. There is some petty theft and a growing drug problem, as everywhere, largely due to the appalling 45% unemployment rate amongst young people.
> 
> PS Tell your wife that teachers are respected here, not blamed for society's ills as they often are in the UK.


well in the state schools they are, anyway - by the spanish parents

unfortunately many british parents blame the schools & teachers for the fact that their 16 year old son/daughter who was dumped into spanish school at the age of 13 hasn't learned spanish, so hasn't passed anything, bunks off & goes out getting so drunk s/he needs a stomach pump

I'm not entirely sure that that's the case in the International/British schools either -at least not the ones I've had contact with - the parents rarely seem to respect the staff


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## Captain Leaky (Jun 22, 2011)

Alcalaina said:


> It really depends enormously where you are. We live in a small rural town with very few immigrants (or expats as some people like to call themselves) and we were made very welcome by the locals, some of whom are now good friends. They are scathing towards some of the Brits here who drink too much and don't learn Spanish, but they are still polite to their faces (they need their business).
> 
> As said above, family is everything here. Kids are treated really well, and are generally well behaved. Teenagers are not treated as pariahs, they are part of the community. There is virtually no violent crime and very little vandalism in my town. There is some petty theft and a growing drug problem, as everywhere, largely due to the appalling 45% unemployment rate amongst young people.
> 
> PS Tell your wife that teachers are respected here, not blamed for society's ills as they often are in the UK.


Thanks for the reply Alcalaina, gosh i feel for the young having a 45% unemployment rate.I will tell my OH, in our opion the parents who blame School for society ills are usually the horrible parents.


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## Captain Leaky (Jun 22, 2011)

xabiachica said:


> well in the state schools they are, anyway - by the spanish parents
> 
> unfortunately many british parents blame the schools & teachers for the fact that their 16 year old son/daughter who was dumped into spanish school at the age of 13 hasn't learned spanish, so hasn't passed anything, bunks off & goes out getting so drunk s/he needs a stomach pump
> 
> I'm not entirely sure that that's the case in the International/British schools either -at least not the ones I've had contact with - the parents rarely seem to respect the staff


There is 2 sides to everything eh xabiachica.
Surely everyone knows the younger a child learns a new language the better.To expect a 13yr old to learn another language at the drop of a hat is, well, silly.

So your saying in your experience that British parents at British schools behave the same as some parents in the Uk.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Captain Leaky said:


> There is 2 sides to everything eh xabiachica.
> Surely everyone knows the younger a child learns a new language the better.To expect a 13yr old to learn another language at the drop of a hat is, well, silly.
> 
> So your saying in your experience that British parents at British schools behave the same as some parents in the Uk.


well, not ALL of them are as bad as that - but it does seem to be a cultural attitude thing to blame the schools/teachers rather than the stupid decision you made & lack of control that you have over your own kids


you're right - seriously - what chance does an older kid have of learning the language THAT quickly? - but unfortunately I've known quite a few families come here & put their kids as old as 15 into the spanish system


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

xabiachica said:


> well in the state schools they are, anyway - by the spanish parents


Sorry, I should have made it clear they are respected in my town - where everyone is Spanish. I don't have any experience of international schools or British parents in Spain. 

But my husband taught in the UK for 20 years and it was just appalling the amount of abuse he got, towards the end of that period, especially from middle-class parents whose spoilt teenage offspring could do no wrong. We have a number of teacher friends here and the contrast is notable.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Alcalaina said:


> Sorry, I should have made it clear they are respected in my town - where everyone is Spanish. I don't have any experience of international schools or British parents in Spain.
> 
> But my husband taught in the UK for 20 years and it was just appalling the amount of abuse he got, towards the end of that period, especially from middle-class parents whose spoilt teenage offspring could do no wrong. We have a number of teacher friends here and the contrast is notable.


yes - generally teachers are respected here

more than that - in primary school they are adored by the kids & the parents alike

my younger dd has just finished primary school, and we went to the end of year show

the head teacher announced that she was retiring & quite a lot of the parents (including me) & kids (including mine) were visibly upset

at the end of the evening there were queues of people wanting a chat & a hug & a photo with her

the same with the class teachers - the kids leaving wanted a last hug & photo with their teacher

strangely - the teachers including the head are all known by their first name, the atmosphere is very informal - yet they are respected

the same in ESO - first names all round - but mutual respect

maybe that's the key - the respect is mutual


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## fourgotospain (May 4, 2009)

My kids go to the same school as xabiachica's youngest and we can't get over the hold those teachers seem to have on the little darlings! It really is 'harsh but fair' and lots of fun too. The PE teacher who left last summer came back this year to the end of year show and was pretty much mobbed by adoring past pupils! What's also lovely is that when we see them out and about in town they always give the kids a hug and say 'hi' or frrantically wave out of the car window - it's a community that they are all made to feel essential in.

My girls were 9 and 6 when we came here, after 18 months they are all but fluent and speaking spanish to them, I think, is as natural as english in the appropriate circumstances.

As said above, the spanish/Javean teenagers I've met are loud, outgoing and love to party at fiestas but never threatening - it's far too hot for a hoody!


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## elainecyprus (Nov 11, 2007)

Hi all

Interesting reading. Me and my fiance are coming over next weekend to have a look around schools, areas etc. We have 2 boys (10 & 8) and are looking to move to the Javea area at the begining of Sept. Can I ask what the name of the school is that your children go to?, we would like to have a look. Also can someone please tell me if the banks are open on Saturdays? 

Many thanks


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

elainecyprus said:


> Hi all
> 
> Interesting reading. Me and my fiance are coming over next weekend to have a look around schools, areas etc. We have 2 boys (10 & 8) and are looking to move to the Javea area at the begining of Sept. Can I ask what the name of the school is that your children go to?, we would like to have a look. Also can someone please tell me if the banks are open on Saturdays?
> 
> Many thanks


fourgotospain's girls are at the Arenal school - both of mine went there too- but the younger has now 'graduated' to secondary & will join big sis at the _instituto_ in september

the schools are on holiday now, (though some staff might still be around) & will be until after 9th sept for the fiesta Virgen de Loreto - so I think that the Arenal probably starts back on the 12th

there will be staff there at least from the beginning of the month though, so if you ring the bell you might get to have a look round 

it was only built a few years ago & is very clean & modern - here's the website C P L'Arenal

the banks aren't usually open on saturdays, though I think some do for a few hours in high tourist season


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## surfingdevil (Jul 9, 2011)

*moving to Spain*

Hi all
Just thought I'd throw my two-pennies worth into the mix.

My partner and I moved out here to Mallorca, Spain just over one year ago. We only have one child and he is now 7. As soon as we got here I enrolled him in Summer school so that he could start picking up the language a little before school began in September. Although Mallorca may be different to living on the peninsular there are large similarities also.

For the first two weeks of summer school my son became a complete nightmare at home. He was very miserable and I hadn't fully understood why - but a couple of meltdowns, a large mug of hot chocolate and a really great heart to heart chat, I managed to discover that he was happy here, he just was so very frustrated because he couldn't communicate with anyone. There are few people in my town that speak English, or rather, it isn't until you have attempted speaking Spanish with them for months on end that you realise they actually do speak some English! 

anyway, after that he was fine and has coped amazingly well. He is not at an international/British school - we couldn't afford that anyway, but he is thriving. He has mastered a huge amount of Catalan (they are taught in Catalan here) and also Spanish (Castillian). The English classes they do in the schools are a bit basic so we are going through Key Stage whatever it is books with him here at home and hope that will keep him at a good level should we return to the UK - perish the thought!

My son is 100% happier here at his school and with life on the island than he ever was in the UK. His handwriting - at the age of 6 - was appalling when we arrived here and his teacher was amazed at how bad it was (no-one had ever said anything in the UK of course), but within a couple of weeks his writing was amazing in comparison. He had extra Catalan lessons at school and an hour per week out of school , but now they have stopped and although he has another year of support, when he goes back in September for the third year, they have said that he is more than able to use the same books etc as all the other students.

The only other thing I will say is that when he started at school, we were a little shocked at the amount of homework they were given at such a young age. He starts at 9am and finishes at 2pm. They break up in the summer by about the 22nd June as it is too hot to 'study'. Now the homework thing isn't an issue and I actually think its a good thing - certainly in his case - all children are different but we have had a very positive experience - as far as schooling goes.

As far as work goes - thats another story - my partner goes back and forth to the UK as there is nothing here for him! I am at the moment teaching English to foreign kids at a tennis school and do the occasional bit of hairdressing, but there is very little. Better to start off meeting as many expats as poss (not something we wanted to do but needs must) because work is often word of mouth, certainly here on this holiday island.

Good luck with it all.:cheer2:


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## Captain Leaky (Jun 22, 2011)

What a lovely little two-pennies worth it was Surfingdevil.

Does your little boy have spanish friends from the school?.

We know a family that when they moved to Spain put there 7yr old boy in an English School and became very un-happy because all the kids in his class lived so far apart he didnt have any mates to play with at home,they moved him into the local Spanish school and now has mates to play with and can speak fluent Spanish.

Sorry to hear about the work situation and hope it gets better for you.


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## Captain Leaky (Jun 22, 2011)

Thanks to everyone else for there input, very useful to hear your stories, keep them coming.


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## elainecyprus (Nov 11, 2007)

Thanks for all the info.


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## surfingdevil (Jul 9, 2011)

Captain Leaky said:


> What a lovely little two-pennies worth it was Surfingdevil.
> 
> Does your little boy have spanish friends from the school?.
> 
> ...


Yes our son has friends from school, but he doesn't see them out of school so much. That is partly my fault as the mothers here do not approach you, you have to make the first move. However, we often go to the main square and he always sees his pals there and they can safely run about and have fun together. I need to start inviting some of his pals back to the house more often. Life seems to be safer here, in general, and they don't freak out about paedophiles etc being round every corner as they do in the UK, and teachers are allowed to hug their students if there is a problem here. The whole family ethic is so much better and exactly what we wanted for our boy. There seems to be more respect - of which I rarely saw any in the UK.


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