# Moving is consuming my life



## Mushu7 (Jul 17, 2015)

So im used to moving around being the wife of ex soldier, but this time it is MY desire to move. This is something im pushing and prepping for. This move is a choice rather than a requirement.

But since deciding it really is consuming my life. I am thinking about it all the time. At the bare minimum i have to wait 3 years until my degree is done and dusted.

I havent decided on which Island yet (Gran Canaria, Lanz or Tenerife) as i need to do more research into schools, work and housing. But it WILL be one of those Islands.

This is breaking me though. I am so used to living life at short notice dependant on what the Army wants, so to be planning 3 years in advance is driving me insane.

How did you guys cope from the point you decided to move up until the point you physically moved?


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Mushu7 said:


> So im used to moving around being the wife of ex soldier, but this time it is MY desire to move. This is something im pushing and prepping for. This move is a choice rather than a requirement.
> 
> But since deciding it really is consuming my life. I am thinking about it all the time. At the bare minimum i have to wait 3 years until my degree is done and dusted.
> 
> ...


I didn't have to wait. I found a job and moved the next month.
Other times (1980's, another age (20's)...


----------



## Mushu7 (Jul 17, 2015)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I didn't have to wait. I found a job and moved the next month.
> Other times (1980's, another age (20's)...


Not to make you feel bad but my yob 1986 
Most notice ive had to move is 2 months, and i loved the rush of planning quickly. Even our holidays are booked a few days before we go. This long distance goal thing is alien to me.


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Mushu7 said:


> Not to make you feel bad but my yob 1986
> Most notice ive had to move is 2 months, and i loved the rush of planning quickly. Even our holidays are booked a few days before we go. This long distance goal thing is alien to me.


I don't feel bad. I'm not estatic about where I am in life now, but I'm ok with it. I actually know 2 or 3 people who are very hung up about their age and appearance and I feel sorry for them, their lack of confidence, the real preocupation they face every day about not being young, or at least young enough, and constant references to age in their speech.
I also know a couple of people who very often, too often for comfort, do the "I'm still a child at heart" thing, which to be truthful I find a bit sad. It seems to me to be an excuse to reject maturity and not live up to responsibilities like getting a job that pays the bills and looking after the kids, which is left to their partner. In both cases they are Spanish men...
Anyway, I can't deny that I'd very much like to relive the sensations and emotions I lived at your age. I had no kids, no full time partner, I went to live in Colombia and enjoyed, fell in love, travelled, came to Spain and enjoyed, fell in love again and stopped travelling! Pretty good eh?
So, I'd like to relive it, but I can't so best get on with what I've got.

And sorry, I forgot to wish you well with your plans, patience and determination to finish your degree, and lots of luck.
PS A degree in???


----------



## The Quilt (Aug 19, 2015)

Enjoy the planning,embrace it like a little hobby,it will burn off a bit soon and you will just get on with your everyday life while still making plans on a less urgent scale. It may help if you get a notebook and write down any information on the move that may be important to you.


----------



## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Mushu7 said:


> How did you guys cope from the point you decided to move up until the point you physically moved?


With great difficulty, to be honest. We bought our house in March 2003, always with the intention of coming to live in it full time as soon as we were able to retire, but as we were only 53 and 46 at the time we thought it would probably be 10 years before we could do that. 

I didn't realise how strong the pull would be, though. We came over 5 or 6 times a year, just takiing a week's holiday at a time, and I just hated leaving every time. All the time I was in England I was wishing I was here. 

Then towards the end of 2005 two things happened. My OH's father died and left him some money. Our next door neighbours put their house on the market, and when we saw how much they were asking for it, we thought they were having a laugh. But when we did some more checking, we were amazed to find that house prices in our area had indeed shot up in the 3 years since the very same next door house had been sold previously. So we sat down and did our sums and worked out that if we were careful with the money we could now afford to sell the UK house and live on our capital until our pensions became payable. 

So in Spring 2006 the UK house went on the market and I think the 7 months it took to sell were just about the longest of my life. When we did agree a sale we had just 5 weeks to finalise our move, so that was a whirlwind of activity which just sped by.

So I know just what you mean by saying that planning the move is consuming your life, but apart from wishing you luck if you play the lottery, I can't think of any ways to make it any easier, I'm afraid. But the more you put into planning and researching, the more it will pay off for you, I'm sure.


----------



## Mushu7 (Jul 17, 2015)

Lynn R said:


> With great difficulty, to be honest. We bought our house in March 2003, always with the intention of coming to live in it full time as soon as we were able to retire, but as we were only 53 and 46 at the time we thought it would probably be 10 years before we could do that.
> 
> I didn't realise how strong the pull would be, though. We came over 5 or 6 times a year, just takiing a week's holiday at a time, and I just hated leaving every time. All the time I was in England I was wishing I was here.
> 
> ...


Wow, completely identify with this. My dear grandmother passed away last year which hit us all very hard, my dear grandfather has dementia and is deteriorating, so as awful as this is to say, I don't expect him to be around by the time we do move, so it certainly would make a move easier - as I do not think I could move until the inevitable happened as I am my mothers rock.

Waiting for certain milestones in your life to pass before the dream can become more of a reality.

Pesky - thanks for your best wishes. I am doing an open degree so am doing a mix of subjects. I am excited about it so will bore you with the details  1st year - childhood studies & physcology and Business Management, 2nd year intermediate Spanish and History, 3rd year History and Crime and Law. Somewhere in that I would like to complete a TELC and PCE course as well to provide as many options of employment for my move. I have qualifications in Supply Chain Management but can't see where I could apply them on the Canary Islands.


----------



## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Mushu7 said:


> So im used to moving around being the wife of ex soldier, but this time it is MY desire to move. This is something im pushing and prepping for. This move is a choice rather than a requirement.
> 
> But since deciding it really is consuming my life. I am thinking about it all the time. At the bare minimum i have to wait 3 years until my degree is done and dusted.
> 
> ...


We were walking the dog one day when my partner said she'd had enough of running her business and we should pack it in, sell up and move abroad. That was September ten years ago.
On December 19th 2005 we left the UK for good, heading for Prague. We had already flown out for a weekend and found a place to live - we had friends there.
Our furniture, goods and chattels arrived two days later. We sold our UK properties and decided we would bank the money and rent.
Three years later we decided to move to Spain, I think we made up our minds in late August.we left Prague in late November, stayed at my son's house in Spain untilwe found our own place, then had all our furniture etc. delivered from Prague.
I hate moving so we did things as 'cleanly' as possible....plan the finances, find somewhere to live, get good removal company who will wrap and pack everything apart from your bras and knickers and unpack at your destination. No worries, no hassle.
But it was made easy by the fact that we rented once we left the UK.


----------



## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Mushu - this is for your benefit. Most others will have seen and heard it all before:

At the risk of repeating what long-time sufferers on the forum have heard before, I will repeat our story [Chorus groans from the Upper Circle and the cheap seats]:

Year 2000, I am 59, SWMBO is 41. The in-laws live in Colombia. The f-i-l (artist and architect) has been almost ruined by the collapse of one of the banks) we are returning to UK from a holiday, there. We know that our financial situation is such that we will not be able to afford to live in UK after retirement so we need to start thinking about the future. At the time we have a 1-bedroom attic flat (on a mortgage) but with an extension into the adjoining vacant roof-space that could be another bedroom. 

We have a number of countries with which we have ties - family, language, holidays, including Colombia and the USA (about 7 in all.) So we review each over several years and start crossing off the list, those which, for one reason or another, fail to make the grade:
Colombia - high crime, financial instability, guerillas and the drugs trade...
USA - high healthcare costs...
UK - high property costs, high cost of living... 
France - high levels of taxation...
Belgium, Holland - wild cards, in many ways too much like UK but have charm...
Portugal - SWMBO doesn't want to learn another language (already speaks English, French and Spanish, with a small amount of Portuguese)...
Spain - We spent a weekend there with SWMBO's padrinos very early on in our marriage; I have spent a few weeks working there. Good possibility!

2001, in-laws move to USA(FL). F-i-l tries to get work (he is graduate of Univ. Houston, we extend mortgage on our flat to provide deposit on a villa in Florida for them to live in
2005, f-i-l dies following cancer. Bring m-i-l to UK for a few months over Christmas. Take a quick break to Spain flying into Sevilla and visiting Córdoba, Granada, Ronda and Sevilla. All of us like Andalucía very much.

M-i-l will have to move in with us since she has no pension and will need somewhere to live. First need to sell villa and clear mortgage there. Cheated by dishonest realtor. Eventually sell with another realtor in 2007 (after the crash has started) m-i-l moves to live with us.

In the meantime, we have researched areas, especially for climate (avoid Guadalquivir valley - extremely hot in summer, freezing in winter [frost-hollow]). 2006: Decide to make a shortlist of places to look at. Using several agents look at various properties, some of which one wouldn't wish on one's worst enemy. Looking round the various towns and villages, decide that we need to look a little (20-30km) farther north. SWMBO definitely doesn't want campo because, with two ageing (bl**dy cheek) relatives, she is conscious of how long it might take an ambulance to find us. Next property search visit (June 2007), almost at the end of our two weeks, we find the house we are looking for. It seems to say to us, as we walk in the door "Ah, you've got here at last" as if it was expecting us. The price is 87k, we offer 85k - accepted and feel that it is worth every centimo especially after what we have seen. We leave a holding deposit.

September 2007 we visit again and, having further extended our mortgage, pay a chunk of the balance and then pay a bit more from capital in February 2008. We already have our flat on the market with a few sniffs but no takers. Eventually September 2008, we take a final extension on our mortgage and finish buying the house in Spain. The previous owners will move out almost immediately (they rented the empty house, next door). We instruct builder on what we want done - rewired, replumbed, kitchen door and wall onto the terrace moved (make kitchen larger), walls and dispenser between the lounge and dining room removed to make one through lounge-diner, etc. In the meantime we have been packing so that we will be ready to go as soon as...

Almost immediately, a cash buyer appears for the flat (he will also buy my old Volvo Estate because it has a cherished plate [came with it when I bought it]). Finish packing, hire a van and drive it down loaded with a couple of tons of stuff (lots of books, furniture, china, etc.) plus m-i-l. Arrive at house on Tuesday 4th November 2008. We could have arrived the night before but wanted m-i-l's first view to be in daylight. It is a disaster area with builders working and rubble everywhere, but omelettes are not made without breaking eggs.

After a couple of weeks of getting furniture (flatpack) from IKEA, etc organised and assembled, we return to UK (leaving m-i-l to get acquainted with some of the neighbours - having lived for 50 years in Colombia she speaks fluent Spanish) to load up the second load and take that down to Spain, unload and get some organising done. We buy a car and leave that at Granada airport. We do a final clean of the flat, hand the keys to the agent and take temporary lodging with friends while SWMBO goes back to work for a couple of months and her replacement is sought. I fly back to Spain.

SWMBO's notice expires and I fly back to UK, catch bus from Stansted to be met at bus stop by a much relieved (stress is falling off her shoulders in chunks) SWMBO. 

We sell SWMBO's Micra but with a delayed hand-over, so that we can still use it to run-around. Get some treatment for my frostbite (the Spanish house, as yet, has no heating other than a couple of convectors) then fly to Spain arriving here February 10th. We have been back to UK once, driving our own car, in September 2009, saw a few friends and relatives, shopped for things which, at the time, we thought we could not do without (we can and do!). 

So now you have it, we are happy here which, as far as we're concerned, is our little bit of heaven on earth!

So I guess you could say we made it, but it does require some work. SWMBO is an English teacher - her name was put forward by our abogada to an old schoolfriend who is managing a language academy, and I have my OAP.


----------



## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Mushu7 said:


> .
> 
> Waiting for certain milestones in your life to pass before the dream can become more of a reality.
> 
> ...


----------



## Rabbitcat (Aug 31, 2014)

Mrypg - your last sentence is very interesting 

What was it you didn't like and how did you overcome it. Thanks


----------



## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

> Besides, we had lived in a fly-blown hamlet with no mains water or sewerage, only five miles from the centre of Prague and wanted civilisation...things like street lights, pavements.....


I was *born* in a place like that and we didn't even have electricity but we did have a dirt road with dirt paths and it was only five miles from the centre of Sarfend. At least we now have electricity, street lights, mains water but no pavements although the roads are hard surfaced but with potholes to remind us that the past is ever with us, just like the poor and the old (i.e. me).


----------



## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Rabbitcat said:


> Mrypg - your last sentence is very interesting
> 
> What was it you didn't like and how did you overcome it. Thanks


I'm not a very deep kind of person so 'overcoming' wasn't a problem, really. I think the reason I didn't feel easy here was that we made a disastrous ill-thought out move into an apartment in a gated community. We had never lived in a flat before and weren't used to having people so close. It also seemed an odd way of living to me. The building was more than half unoccupied and what residents there were were a fifty-fifty mixture of Spanish and other nationalities. This might sound daft but to me, it was peculiar waking up to see blue skies and palm trees in January then hear English voices...In the CR we were literally the only British people for miles...even in Prague where there is a sizeable British community we never came across them.
So living abroad there really was different. For a start the language.....I knew some Czech and Polish already but it's Slavonic and a ****** to learn. Then there is a much bigger cultural difference than anywhere in Spain. Remember, this is a country totally cut off from Western Europe until the 1990s.
So Spain was a whole new and bewildering ball game as so many facets of life, even in inland towns and villages, were more familiar and recognizable. 
It was only when we moved into our house in a very quiet area on the edge of the village in a 'normal' street with Spanish neighbours that things fell into place.
Of course there are a few Brits and other nationalities in the neighbouring streets as anywhere in Spain but many of them have been here for thirty years or more.
I don't know if that makes sense....


----------



## Rabbitcat (Aug 31, 2014)

It does make sense in regards finding it difficult to settle.

I ( touch wood ) have never suffered from " homesickness" but that's one condition that worries me as some who I know have suffered terribly from it . 

I believe its a condition and state of mind that can eat people up getting inside their heads and really destroying their quality of life. Obviously that's not something particular to Spain but something anyone moving abroad - (particularly if they have never done so before) - needs to be aware of.


----------



## 90199 (Mar 21, 2010)

I first came to the Canary Islands, Las Palmas, from Trinidad, in the spring of 1962, that short visit instigated what was to be a lifetime relationship with the archipelago.

I later returned often to Gran Canaria for winter holidays, curiosity caused me to explore the other islands, in the Spring of 1995 I was on the island of La Palma, La isla Bonita, when one clear day a lump of land was visible 40 miles to the south, the locals confirmed to me that it was in fact the island of El Hierro, well it had to be visited.

With great difficulty and enquiries with the Spanish embassy in London, we managed to obtain a holiday in the Autumn of 1995. This island for us is special, few foreigners from northern Europe visit, we are two of the five English residents, here we are almost crime free, the local people are extremely polite and welcoming, when a bungalow with lots of terraced land came up for sale at what we thought was a bargain price, well it had to be bought, that was 15 years ago.

Having severed the umbilical cord with our motherland, sold the lot, we are now here on a permanent basis and have been for a long number of years, here is home, this is where we belong. However Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, still calls and we visit several times a year.

A 53 year relationship with the Canarian archipelago, that still has the magic of that first visit, for us this group of islands and the people who live here are quite unique.


----------



## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

We bought our house exactly ten years ago with the intention of using it for holidays until we reached retirement age in 2014. But each time we came over it became harder and harder to leave, it really felt like home here. So we did some more sums and thought we might be able to push the date back to 2012. 

By the beginning of 2008 however we were both really fed up with our jobs, so we thought if we were really frugal and lived on fresh air and lentils for a few years, we could take the plunge there and then. We put our house in Oxford on the market and it sold in a few days, just before the Big Crash. We've been here since May 2008 and have never had any doubts that it was the right thing to do.


----------



## thrax (Nov 13, 2008)

OHs parents have lived in southern Spain for 12 years and we visited 2,3 or 4 times every year and each time we found leaving this area and returning to UK increasingly difficult. But all those trips helped us to realise we really did want to live here (here being around 45kms East of Malaga) but we needed an exceptionally good reason to make the move, or wait until I reached state pension age which seemed such a long way away. Then OH fell pregnant and that was the push we needed. We had always known that should we have a child we didn't want to bring him up in UK and Spain seemed to be such a more friendly place (where we knew anyway). So our planning started when OH was 3 weeks pregnant and we made the move when our son was 5 months old. And we haven't regretted it one bit. We love where we live, we love our friends of all nationalities and we love the Spanish school he attends. He is now 5 is bilingual, he reads very well in English and is just beginning Spanish, is teaching himself all about marine life, particularly sharks, is very knowledgeable about dinosaurs, the universe and the constellations, he plays chess and he swims like a dolphin. Had we stayed in UK we would both have had to continue with full time work and he would have been given into child care etc. Since he was born we have been able to be with him 24/7 (apart from when he was 3 years old and started school) and that has made an enormous difference. From the age of 2 weeks we read to him every night. His lifestyle here is so so different from what he would have experienced in UK and his extraordinary development (well I would say that, wouldn't I?) has made this move the best thing we ever chose to do. Good luck with yours!!!


----------



## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Alcalaina said:


> But each time we came over it became harder and harder to leave, it really felt like home here.



Strange, isn't it? Some people experience homesickness for the UK (or wherever they came from) when they move to Spain, but right from the time we bought our house here it was here that felt like home and we were homesick for it every time we had to go back to England. Sure, England is familiar, but for me England is just somewhere to visit now.


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

baldilocks said:


> Mushu - this is for your benefit. Most others will have seen and heard it all before:
> .


I quite enjoy reading it through again from time to time, but this time you missed out the beginning of the story of you and Mrs Baldilocks and that's the best part!


----------



## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I quite enjoy reading it through again from time to time, but this time you missed out the beginning of the story of you and Mrs Baldilocks and that's the best part!


Which bit?


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

baldilocks said:


> Which bit?


That you met and got married in a matter of weeks, you silly billy, or have you forgotten that you fell head over heels for her?!


----------



## Gazeebo (Jan 23, 2015)

Mushu7 said:


> So im used to moving around being the wife of ex soldier, but this time it is MY desire to move. This is something im pushing and prepping for. This move is a choice rather than a requirement.
> 
> But since deciding it really is consuming my life. I am thinking about it all the time. At the bare minimum i have to wait 3 years until my degree is done and dusted.
> 
> ...


First of all, good on you planning for a degree.  Just keep up to date and make sure that the degree is relevant, because governments are very fickle as to what they want year in , year out.

Anyway, I envy you 3 years. I have been sorting sealed boxes from 3 years ago in preparation for our move. Just make sure over these next 3 years, everything you keep is really relevant, and I mean really relevant. Don't keep crap and don't collect it. I have had tomake some very hard decisions with our move.

Don't forget the nitty gritty of wills, etc.

AND, don't be in a hurry to wish your life away thinking it should be in Spain. Over the years, one thing I have learnt is that life changes and you just need to make the best of it, wherever you are.

Now, I have a question. I have found my one and only bridesmaid's dress from 50 years ago. What do I do with it? I can't take it to Spain. Is it time to dump?


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Mushu7 said:


> Pesky - thanks for your best wishes. I am doing an open degree so am doing a mix of subjects. I am excited about it so will bore you with the details  1st year - childhood studies & physcology and Business Management, 2nd year intermediate Spanish and History, 3rd year History and Crime and Law. Somewhere in that I would like to complete a TELC and PCE course as well to provide as many options of employment for my move. I have qualifications in Supply Chain Management but can't see where I could apply them on the Canary Islands.


Wow, that sounds amazing! 
But,
I'm not sure what you can do in Spain with all that...
Maybe online therapy?


----------



## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> That you met and got married in a matter of weeks, you silly billy, or have you forgotten that you fell head over heels for her?!


What was silly about it? It all felt right at the time, in fact looking back it seemed as though we were not in control. I don't know about "fell head over heels", it is not something one does at the age of 48. 25½ years later, it still feels right.


----------



## Mushu7 (Jul 17, 2015)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Wow, that sounds amazing!
> But,
> I'm not sure what you can do in Spain with all that...
> Maybe online therapy?


Well the history is more for me as i am fasinated with it. But the child and crime elements lead me to doing something with children (which kindof fits in my current role) maybe even teach.


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

baldilocks said:


> What was silly about it? It all felt right at the time, in fact looking back it seemed as though we were not in control. I don't know about "fell head over heels", it is not something one does at the age of 48. 25½ years later, it still feels right.


Dear Baldilocks,
I didn't mean silly billy for getting married. I meant silly billy for not mentioning it in this version of your story. As I said, it's the part that I most like about it.
Silly billy is a much used expression in our house from when my daughter was a toddler, applied with affection.


----------

