# divorce, moving and immigration



## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

Hi

I am being divorced by my wife, have moved out from her house... 
presumably i need to notify immigration of my new address.. anyone know how/where i need to address to? cant find anything on the 'welcome to america' book!

also, i have a work visa now, the marriage was legit, but i now have some credit card debt from back home (was still paying it off and had problems while waiting for the work visa) 

my wife is really angry and wants to deport me... are these arrears grounds for deportation? 
this should be academic.. i am on it.. i have a good job now, but just wondered.


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

twiga said:


> Hi
> 
> I am being divorced by my wife, have moved out from her house...
> presumably i need to notify immigration of my new address.. anyone know how/where i need to address to? cant find anything on the 'welcome to america' book!
> ...



AR-11 is the form -- find it and the instructions @ USCIS.gov. I believe you can now e-file it as well. Whichever way you do it, keep a record for your own immigration file.

Angry wives don't get to deport their husbands -- ignore her. The only place where this could come into play is if she gets criminal charges against you. So avoid like the plague for your own health, and protect yourself with third party buffers in any communication you need to have with her.

You don't say whether you filed for a GC or not because of the marriage. Or what working visa you are going to be on..


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## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

Fatbrit said:


> AR-11 is the form -- find it and the instructions @ USCIS.gov. I believe you can now e-file it as well. Whichever way you do it, keep a record for your own immigration file.
> 
> Angry wives don't get to deport their husbands -- ignore her. The only place where this could come into play is if she gets criminal charges against you. So avoid like the plague for your own health, and protect yourself with third party buffers in any communication you need to have with her.
> 
> You don't say whether you filed for a GC or not because of the marriage. Or what working visa you are going to be on..


thanks for the response..
I have been staying in her house and have only just saved enough to move out.. with attorney fees and such, only started work 2 months ago.. just got my permanent 2 year visa..
she has accused me of stealing from the house, no evidence.. is that enough to have me deported? i'm feeling pretty insecure at the moment, blown away by the amount of anger pointed at me, people here are telling me its par for the course though.
dont know what a GC is? 
thanks again.


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

twiga said:


> thanks for the response..
> I have been staying in her house and have only just saved enough to move out.. with attorney fees and such, only started work 2 months ago.. just got my permanent 2 year visa..
> she has accused me of stealing from the house, no evidence.. is that enough to have me deported? i'm feeling pretty insecure at the moment, blown away by the amount of anger pointed at me, people here are telling me its par for the course though.
> dont know what a GC is?
> thanks again.


GC = green card. You've presumably got a 2-year conditional one. Don't forget you will need to file to remove conditions either 90 days before its expiry or when your divorce comes through -- whichever comes first.

Get out and stay out of the house would be my advice.


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## Davis1 (Feb 20, 2009)

Get Divorced ASAP ..then you can file the waiver and removal of the conditions
without waiting for the 2 years 
If lucky ~ you get it 
Unlucky ~ start packing

remind the wife that the affidavit of suport she signed it still valid even if divorced


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## Man (Nov 30, 2009)

twiga said:


> Hi
> 
> I am being divorced by my wife, have moved out from her house...
> 
> my wife is really angry and wants to deport me... are these arrears grounds for deportation?



They really are somthing aren't they? One day you're the only guy on earth she will make love to, and the next day you're the last guy on earth she'll give it up to....Typical American woman


Strange


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## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

Man said:


> They really are somthing aren't they? One day you're the only guy on earth she will make love to, and the next day you're the last guy on earth she'll give it up to....Typical American woman
> 
> 
> Strange


yep, i have never known anything like it... it was all over a sunday morning row..
turns out she was a meth amphetamine addict.. she now has bi-polar disorder and has been on remeron for years, shes addicted to that now, didnt tell me though..
and shes a school counsellor.. i am wondering if and how i can introduce this fact to the court case.. it seems relevant to me.. and she is so desperately trying to bury me.
she kept a meth addicts diary, and i scanned several pertinent pages before i left.


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## Man (Nov 30, 2009)

twiga said:


> yep, i have never known anything like it... it was all over a sunday morning row..
> turns out she was a meth amphetamine addict.. she now has bi-polar disorder and has been on remeron for years, shes addicted to that now, didnt tell me though..
> and shes a school counsellor.. i am wondering if and how i can introduce this fact to the court case.. it seems relevant to me.. and she is so desperately trying to bury me.
> she kept a meth addicts diary, and i scanned several pertinent pages before i left.



Good move, but don't use it unless you have to. She's still holding all the cards.


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## Tisserand (Dec 8, 2009)

Twiga:

I'm not an expat, but I am divorced. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I have some comments and questions.

I agree with Davis1, get divorced ASAP. Ironically, if you want to save your marriage, quickly and amicably dissolving it may be the best hope in the long run. Remember, you are both hurting, it just comes out in different ways. Try to put aside your fears and pain. That is Rule 1. You might reconcile later.

Keep the drug thing PRIVATE. No positives and a load of negatives.

Are there kids from this marriage? If not, things are easy and there will only be a court case if you can not agree on a property settlement. Don't let that happen, see Rule 1. If 90 days have passed since filing for divorce, the only impediment is not agreeing on a settlement.

Check out the Utah law regarding divorce in Section 30.3 of the Utah Code. It's available online. Divorce in America can be as easy as buying a car or it can descend into a pissing contest. No matter who wins a pissing contest, you both get pissed on. Basically, what was hers before you married stays hers and vice versa. What was acquired during the marriage are marital assets to be divided equitably (though not necessarily equally). Equitable division is the biggest source for a pissing contest.

If you do not already have a list of settlements terms, make one ASAP and present it to her lawyer. The only people who benefit from drawn out divorces are the lawyers; and they get paid by the hour. .

If your credit card debt was in your name, it's yours to keep afterwards. You are paying it off, the bank just wants their money. ICE doesn't care unless you are violating laws and paying bills is not illegal.

I think the Affidavit of Support is something she is stuck with. It's an agreement she made with Uncle Sam to support you, no matter what. Assuming you are able to support yourself, her only risk is if you go on the dole once you are eligible and before the agreement expires. The typical case is the immigrant spouse files for divorce and the jilted Yank is stuck supporting the spouse. Here we have the reverse. Just don't rub her face in it.

Hang in there.


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## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

Tisserand said:


> Twiga:
> 
> I'm not an expat, but I am divorced. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I have some comments and questions.
> 
> ...


thank you for the response, only just picked it up...

i put in my motion to appear or appoint tomorrow, had to sack my attorney for a number of reasons.
i have managed to move out of the house now... which is good.. i was actually locked out the day after i moved most of my stuff out..
at the hearing which was postponed, my wifes attorney claimed i was locked out because i was a danger to the house..
he did not provide any evidence though.

in the UK i would have the right now to ask him to provide all the evidence he has that i was a threat, as he has declared it in court as a reason for locking me out, and i would be entitled to have the evidence in order to have all the information to prepare a fully informed defense.. 
does anyone know if thats the case in the US?

(the background to this is that she let her roommate who is a lapsing/recovering addict allow all her friends into the house while i was there ... to put pressure on me i presume.. and they were partying, taking drugs, removing things from the house, moving stolen goods in and out of the roomies bedroom etc while i was trying to hold down my new job)..

thanks!


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## Davis1 (Feb 20, 2009)

As you have moved ensure you filed the AR11 ..you can do it online


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## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

Davis1 said:


> As you have moved ensure you filed the AR11 ..you can do it online


thanks.. its in!


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## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

hmmm.. the credit card bills element is significant, she said she would pay these until i got work, she even got me to move here earlier on the basis of this (i was earning £4000 a month before i moved here and could have waited a few more months and paid it all off) but she then stopped paying them several months before i started work in october.. and i cant afford the accumulated fees. 
it looks like i am done for!


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

twiga said:


> it looks like i am done for!


Why? It's purely as civil matter.


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## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

Fatbrit said:


> Why? It's purely as civil matter.


oh, thank you for the reassurance.. my wife is genuinely a bit of a black widow, shes even changed her facebook profile to 'widower' and i had some of her big friends around last week.. so all the pressure has left me a bit of a jelly.
not usually like this, i think the fact that i am a gentle man and that i still have feelings for her while she twists the knife has had a role to play.

thank you so much for the advice on here... it really has been useful stuff for me.

if anyone knows of any good legal forums for the US that would be great too.. although i understand the family laws are state based, and utah with such a small population may not be well represented, i may be able to get some good general advice there.. 

of course having said i am a jelly just now, i am proud of the fact i represented myself successfully at the last hearing where i got a motion to continue put through, buying me enough time to start saving a contingency fund.


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## Guest (Jan 2, 2010)

twiga said:


> Hi
> 
> I am being divorced by my wife, have moved out from her house...
> presumably i need to notify immigration of my new address.. anyone know how/where i need to address to? cant find anything on the 'welcome to america' book!
> ...


I have a US green card from working there and lived a while in the USA also divorced in the USA. From what I read here you are totally screwed although there is a perfect solution in my opinion and personal experience. If you are on a visa sponsored by your wife, then when it expires, you will need to apply for a work visa and then a green card which not only is a nightmare process but also you probably won’t get either. If your wife manages to get a felony charge against you, they will deport you if you are convicted. If you get divorced there is a risk of alimony which if you don’t pay will land you in jail. My suggestion is accept the inevitability of the crash and get on the next flight to Bangkok Thailand. Go to Soi Cowboy and within an hour – maybe less you will be thanking your lucky stars that you are escaping your soon to be ex. Then stay out of the USA and refuse to agree to a divorce unless there is no alimony, simply blank any other deal. Most guys no matter how much they love their wife and even their kids are unable to resist a Thai girl. You know the song ‘one night in Bangkok’ well it is so true.


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## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

happy bunny said:


> I have a US green card from working there and lived a while in the USA also divorced in the USA. From what I read here you are totally screwed although there is a perfect solution in my opinion and personal experience. If you are on a visa sponsored by your wife, then when it expires, you will need to apply for a work visa and then a green card which not only is a nightmare process but also you probably won’t get either. If your wife manages to get a felony charge against you, they will deport you if you are convicted. If you get divorced there is a risk of alimony which if you don’t pay will land you in jail. My suggestion is accept the inevitability of the crash and get on the next flight to Bangkok Thailand. Go to Soi Cowboy and within an hour – maybe less you will be thanking your lucky stars that you are escaping your soon to be ex. Then stay out of the USA and refuse to agree to a divorce unless there is no alimony, simply blank any other deal. Most guys no matter how much they love their wife and even their kids are unable to resist a Thai girl. You know the song ‘one night in Bangkok’ well it is so true.


errr.... 
next.


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## Guest (Jan 2, 2010)

twiga said:


> errr....
> next.


What do you want to know?


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## Davis1 (Feb 20, 2009)

happy bunny said:


> What do you want to know?


He probably means we are not interested in your time with prostitutes


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

happy bunny said:


> you will need to apply for a work visa and then a green card which not only is a nightmare process but also you probably won’t get either. If


No!


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## Guest (Jan 2, 2010)

Fatbrit said:


> No!


Why not


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## twiga (Dec 1, 2009)

happy bunny said:


> Why not


the marriage was legitimate, i have 2 years of photos and letters to prove it... my family members flew over for the ceremony.

i just need to remove conditions following the divorce, which may or may not be straightforward, depending on my wife muddying the waters or not. i have not committed any felony.. she is an ex-addict with mental issues.

thats why.


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## Guest (Jan 2, 2010)

twiga said:


> the marriage was legitimate, i have 2 years of photos and letters to prove it... my family members flew over for the ceremony.
> 
> i just need to remove conditions following the divorce, which may or may not be straightforward, depending on my wife muddying the waters or not. i have not committed any felony.. she is an ex-addict with mental issues.
> 
> thats why.


Yes the statement was 'if' and felonies do lead to deportation. The marriage being genuine isn't in question, the issue is if you are there under her sponsorship or an employer's sponsorship. The former is a problem the latter is no problem. Bit of a sensitive bunch on this forum.


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

happy bunny said:


> Why not


Because you simply have no idea what you're talking about.


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## Guest (Jan 2, 2010)

Fatbrit said:


> Because you simply have no idea what you're talking about.


Well so far no one has offered any facts to the contrary only insults to drive people away from their own inaccuracies. I see your post about the naturalized citizen was wrong too. My brother in law was in the exact same situation so I saw it first hand. I have been through the immigration process, so have a lot of people I met. One friend just now has taken his wife to the USA and she has to wait there until the process is completed, if she leaves she will fail the process. .


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

happy bunny said:


> Well so far no one has offered any facts to the contrary only insults to drive people away from their own inaccuracies. I see your post about the naturalized citizen was wrong too. My brother in law was in the exact same situation so I saw it first hand. I have been through the immigration process, so have a lot of people I met. One friend just now has taken his wife to the USA and she has to wait there until the process is completed, if she leaves she will fail the process. .


Each case is different, but you seem to throw the forum into total confusion with your generalised experiences without any fundamental understanding. I genuinely do not know where to start on most of your posts. I merely wish you'd stop making most of them.


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