# The "N" Word



## MissUmmKareem (Apr 11, 2016)

Hi everyone,

I am an African American Muslim woman who recently moved to Sharjah. My nine year old goes to the park across from our villa. He has told me that he has been called ****** several times by different people while playing football with them (both adults n kids). I am perplexed as America is a very racist country but even there people do not throw this slur around so frivolously (unless they are low class blacks, rappers or open white supremists). Is this normal for Arabs to use this term here? Frankly I am pissed and plan to go to the park and confront the culprits but i am unsure if there are any anti racism/hate laws that I could threaten them with. I know already from being involved in multiracial masjids in US that some Arabs and Desi people are very arrogant and racist but ive never seen them throw the n word around. is this something i should teach my son to get used to or are these people at this particular park not your average idiots? i hate that he had to experience that and honestly it makes me think moving here was a bad idea.


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## Stevesolar (Dec 21, 2012)

MissUmmKareem said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I am an African American Muslim woman who recently moved to Sharjah. My nine year old goes to the park across from our villa. He has told me that he has been called ****** several times by different people while playing football with them (both adults n kids). I am perplexed as America is a very racist country but even there people do not throw this slur around so frivolously (unless they are low class blacks, rappers or open white supremists). Is this normal for Arabs to use this term here? Frankly I am pissed and plan to go to the park and confront the culprits but i am unsure if there are any anti racism/hate laws that I could threaten them with. I know already from being involved in multiracial masjids in US that some Arabs and Desi people are very arrogant and racist but ive never seen them throw the n word around. is this something i should teach my son to get used to or are these people at this particular park not your average idiots? i hate that he had to experience that and honestly it makes me think moving here was a bad idea.


Hi,
Welcome to the forum.
In my opinion, that word is unacceptable in any country - in this day and age.
The UAE has very strong hate laws - so if offended, you are in your rights to report this to the police (of course, I have no idea how vigorously they will pursue the matter).
Be very careful about confrontation - as it is always possible that you would get hurt or even find yourself arrested for name calling or arguing in public.
Cheers
Steve


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## MissUmmKareem (Apr 11, 2016)

Thank you so much for your advice. I spoke with my husband about it and he pretty much said the same. I think I will find another park. hopefully i find people with more class and compassion.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

Welcome to the Middle East. 

Racism is a fact of life. Just remember it applies to people of all colours and creed and nationalities so no one group is being singled out. Coming from a Western country you will be constantly surprised and will need to develop a thick skin as so many people in the UAE are from regions (the Middle East, the Gulf, South Asia, East Asia, Africa) where racism is a fact of life and think nothing of resorting to racial or tribal or ethnic or economic or religious discrimination as part of normal every day life, as that's what they and their societies have been doing since the early days of humanity.

Calling someone a derogatory term is still a legal offence not because it's "racist" but because it's offending your personal honour and respectability, a concept that is much more important in the Middle East. Feel free to complain to the police if you want. But truth be told, "social justice" is not a priority in this part of the world. The police will likely want evidence of some type but the catch is that if you attempt to secretly record a conversation, that is also illegal and the person you're recording can bring charges against you!

As Steve implied, the most practical thing to do is to shrug and find more suitable people to socialise with.


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## Byja (Mar 3, 2013)

Was he called like this in a derogatory way, was there a bad intention behind it?
I mean, impact of movies and music to non-native speakers is quite strong, so if they see rappers calling each other N...z, they don't feel it as an insult when they say it.


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## Stevesolar (Dec 21, 2012)

Byja said:


> Was he called like this in a derogatory way, was there a bad intention behind it?
> I mean, impact of movies and music to non-native speakers is quite strong, so if they see rappers calling each other N...z, they don't feel it as an insult when they say it.


Sharjah is not the Bronx!


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## Racing_Goats (Sep 5, 2015)

MissUmmKareem said:


> Thank you so much for your advice. I spoke with my husband about it and he pretty much said the same. I think I will find another park. hopefully i find people with more class and compassion.


Sadly this is probably the best course of action


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## MissUmmKareem (Apr 11, 2016)

My husband explained the same. He said that before meetung me and living in USA he, a Pakistani, thought it was acceptable if you knew the person as a term of endearment because his only "knowledge" of Americans came from movies and music. Very sad indeed.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

The kids on my community use it all the time - picked up from listening to rap and RnB music sadly. They are not educated enough to understand what it means and that it is insulting. They see is a 'Gangsta' and cool. 

So maybe, before you go off the deep end, educate them that it's actually not acceptable to use it towards anyone - no matter how it's meant.


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## Byja (Mar 3, 2013)

Stevesolar said:


> Sharjah is not the Bronx!


Yeah, I wouldn't mind living in the Bronx...

Anyway, a good example of how other cultures are unaware of the N issue is a famous case of naming the Gazprom subsidiary in Nigeria.


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## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

If you think America is a "very racist country" you are in for quite the education living among the 200 nationalities here. This was your first lesson.


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## new_in_dubai (May 7, 2016)

Byja said:


> Was he called like this in a derogatory way, was there a bad intention behind it?
> I mean, impact of movies and music to non-native speakers is quite strong, so if they see rappers calling each other N...z, they don't feel it as an insult when they say it.


I'm totally agree with this comment. For example in Turkey the N.. word was known as the main descriptive word of the afro-american people most probably because of the movies. I was really surprised when one of my friend told me if I use it in USA then I could beaten. 

So I'm trying to say that you can try to learn if that word is using in Dubai as a normal word or not. There are lots of culturel differences country to country even city to city.

I hope I could explain the my idea clearly


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## LewsTT (Dec 7, 2015)

MissUmmKareem said:


> My husband explained the same. He said that before meetung me and living in USA he, a Pakistani, thought it was acceptable if you knew the person as a term of endearment because his only "knowledge" of Americans came from movies and music. Very sad indeed.


As another Pakistani, Ive known since childhood its completely unacceptable. If there are rap songs that legitimize the use of this word there are also movies and books written on what African American people have had to go through, and still do in some parts. 

I think blaming the media for our own lack of knowledge is a poor excuse. If you've got access to rap songs and the like you can find a decent book or movie as well.

Anyway, hope you can find a better place for your son. If hundreds of years of awareness hasnt helped eradicate certain people's ignorance its doubtful you'll be able to. Smile and move on.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

To the OP, do you realise that the term "Desi" which you have used to describe the Indians can also be construed as derogatory by certain people?

As others have mentioned, the "N" word is thrown around by a lot of kids out of ignorance by watching too many rap videos. However, if it offends you, maybe you could try a more gentle approach and explain to the child that it is an offensive word and you would appreciate them not calling your kid that word? I'm sure they will understand as no one has probably corrected them anyway.


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## Fat Bhoy Tim (Feb 28, 2013)

Byja said:


> Yeah, I wouldn't mind living in the Bronx...


My old man couldn't wait to escape from it. :lol:


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## Fat Bhoy Tim (Feb 28, 2013)

XDoodle****** said:


> If you think America is a "very racist country" you are in for quite the education living among the 200 nationalities here. This was your first lesson.


That was my first thought.

Or let me be more accurate, that was my first guffaw.


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## Byja (Mar 3, 2013)

Fat Bhoy Tim said:


> My old man couldn't wait to escape from it. :lol:


...to Sharjah?!


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## twowheelsgood (Feb 21, 2013)

XDoodle****** said:


> If you think America is a "very racist country" you are in for quite the education living among the 200 nationalities here.


I am glad I wasnt the only one who thought that. 'murica is quite non-racist compared to the ROW, where such things are entirely legal and us ex-pats are at the bottom of the pecking order.


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## Fat Bhoy Tim (Feb 28, 2013)

Byja said:


> ...to Sharjah?!


tbf, he'd probably have picked Sharjah over the Bronx in the 1960s.


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## The Rascal (Aug 6, 2014)

And now she's written to 7days....

Letter: Tourist says she’s appalled by women’s turn of phrase


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## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

The Rascal said:


> And now she's written to 7days....
> 
> Letter: Tourist says she’s appalled by women’s turn of phrase


Don't think it's the same woman, just the same experience at a different location.


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## OMGItIsPhil (Dec 19, 2013)

XDoodle****** said:


> If you think America is a "very racist country" you are in for quite the education living among the 200 nationalities here. This was your first lesson.


What does diversity have to do with racism?

If anything, it's the other way around. The more diverse a country is, the less racist it is. Racism stems from a lack of exposure to other cultures/religions, or when you have a large, dominant 'ruling class' (like in the US).


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## OMGItIsPhil (Dec 19, 2013)

twowheelsgood said:


> I am glad I wasnt the only one who thought that. 'murica is quite non-racist compared to the ROW, where such things are entirely legal and *us ex-pats are at the bottom of the pecking order*.


Uh, what? Do you include migrant workers in expats? Otherwise this is very inaccurate.


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## Fat Bhoy Tim (Feb 28, 2013)

OMGItIsPhil said:


> Uh, what? Do you include migrant workers in expats? Otherwise this is very inaccurate.


Anyone who's not a national (or at least a regional national) in this part of the world, is always at the bottom. There's a staggered level, but a western expat is still only the top of the bottom tier - let's not get above our station, yeah.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

Tell that to the Jews of Europe in the 1930s-1940s. (Sorry for invoking Godwin's law but it's a perfect example of how diversity does not lead to less racism or discrimination). 



OMGItIsPhil said:


> The more diverse a country is, the less racist it is. Racism stems from a lack of exposure to other cultures/religions, or when you have a large, dominant 'ruling class' (like in the US).


The UAE and the Gulf are far more racist than many lily-white countries. The term racism is a popular buzzword these days but it allows people to conveniently ignore that there are other discriminatory factors that are just as if not more powerful such as religion, socio-economics, tribalism and nationalism, which are all very pronounced in the Gulf as well as in most of the rest of the non-Western world.


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## CDN2012 (Jun 15, 2011)

I always considered my self black but i have light skin(mixed). For the most part i was considered arab by the average person in the UAE until they talked to me. One time i was talking to a security guard and i told him my dad was Jamaican and i was black, he laughed so hard and there was no convincing him that i was. it was the first time i experienced that and released people have different comcepts of race and culture in different parts of the world. Develop thick skin, shrug it off and move on.


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## Standanista (Sep 26, 2014)

Byja said:


> ...to Sharjah?!


You can sneak into Sharjah through the hole in the fence by the Sahara Centre.


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