# Did you make the right move?



## Happybus (Sep 18, 2012)

Hello everyone.
This is not (meant) to be another naff post regarding relocating but I am interested in knowing if people feel relocating has been a good decision - on balance.
The Mr & I feel unsatisfied in Uk, so feel we need to do something rather than spend life regretting take a risk. We have 2 boys, ages 5&2 and any move needs to happen sooner for their benefit. 

Mr has now got to final interview stage for a role which he feels hopeful for subject to package, then he's off for a looksee trip. 

So it could be Dubai here we come or bye bye Dubai opportunity..
Our driving force would be to give us all an "experience" while saving some cash. Looking a 2year stint.

So back to my question" on balance" are you happy you've made the move?
HB


----------



## Canuck_Sens (Nov 16, 2010)

You made your choice already or you would not have applied for jobs and have interviews. I think that question is coming late. How can you make a choice and ask after the fact " let me ask these fellas whether it was worth it or not". Are you bored with UK ? or are ou scared to move to a kingdom of boredom? Or you feel you need reassurance ?

People are different. you might hate or like your experience as an expat in Dubai. If you decided to move and even with all the hassles you may find here, you should try to make the best out of it

I lived in 4 countries. All sucked in incredibly ways but were also phenomenally awesome in other aspects from my perspective. Do I regret ? In some aspects yes. It is a damn hassle to move around, but it can be very rewarding at the same time ...experiencing different things and deal with the unexpected.

But at the end we all want o settle.


----------



## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

*Yes*


----------



## fcjb1970 (Apr 30, 2010)

Canuck_Sens said:


> You made your choice already or you would not have applied for jobs and have interviews. I think that question is coming late. How can you make a choice and ask after the fact " let me ask these fellas whether it was worth it or not". Are you bored with UK ? or are ou scared to move to a kingdom of boredom? Or you feel you need reassurance ?
> .


Where do you get that? For myself I came across a job that looked interesting it was also in Abu Dhabi, and had been interested in leaving the states. But when I applied and interviewed my choice was far from being made. In fact I had other opportunities I was also pursuing at the same time (and some of which resulted in very compelling offers), in the end Abu Dhabi won out, but it was far from a foregone conclusion when I began the process.

:focus:

To answer the OP, had I known everything I know now, I would not have come.


----------



## Happybus (Sep 18, 2012)

Thanks for your comments... Interestingly I hadn't considered the choice had been made- especially since its my husband who's getting the interview. I guess you could say "he's" made his decision and I'm the voice of doubt/ challenge for us a family. 

I love the idea of moving abroad, giving us all life experiences & of course Dubai has the benefit of tax free earnings BUT sites like this also show its not easy. schooling am issues, cost of living/ property rental high. Its one thing feeling "flat & deflated " in the UK but another in an unknown country. 
Canuck_sen, reassurance ? Yes probably as I feel very responsible for my boys and as a parent I take my role seriously. If we had no kids I'd jump at it as we've have nothing to lose. Where is a Crystalball when you need one???
Xdoodlebugger... Fab that's it working for you )

How about everyone else?


----------



## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

fcjb1970 said:


> To answer the OP, had I known everything I know now, I would not have come.


Such as?


----------



## INFAMOUS (Apr 19, 2011)

fcjb1970 said:


> Where do you get that? For myself I came across a job that looked interesting it was also in Abu Dhabi, and had been interested in leaving the states. But when I applied and interviewed my choice was far from being made. In fact I had other opportunities I was also pursuing at the same time (and some of which resulted in very compelling offers), in the end Abu Dhabi won out, but it was far from a foregone conclusion when I began the process.
> 
> :focus:
> 
> To answer the OP, had I known everything I know now, I would not have come.


Planes going back to North America hourly... :ranger:


----------



## Tricktrack (Dec 15, 2011)

I'm probably not the best person to voice an opinion as I've only been here for just over a month, but my other half has been here since feb, however here is how I feel for what it's worth.

We were going through some typical uk crappy stuff and this so job came through at a great time, we were lucky that the package worked for us as we didn't have a lot of options in the uk, so the decision was made. 

Yes it's been a tough 6 months for him here alone (although i could be mean at this juncture and ask whats tough about 6 months of batchelor life, serviced apartments and chilling by the pool at the weekends but I gave him the benefit of the doubt!!!) and me in the uk with 3 young kids sorting out schools there, schools here, container shipments, house rentals and the rest, and some parts of that were a real nightmare, but, and here's the but, today I sat in a taxi and looked up at the plane overhead that had just taken off, and for the first time in years I didn't wish that I was on that plane heading for some exotic destination.

We are back together as a family. My husband enjoys his job. The kids are loving the balance of school and outdoor life. We're living in a nice house in a nice area. We are all happy right now. The kids are experiencing something that I feel can only enhance their perspective on life.

People moan about the schools and not being able to choose the best, and there is a lot of negative feedback about education out here. However it all depends on your situation in the uk, yes if your kids are going to be privately educated at a good school then maybe private education here may not be as good, but my kids would have been going to their local schools which while good I don't feel there was any comparison between old and new.

So to sum up (sorry for rambling on!) yes we are very glad we made the move and so far all the positives far outweigh the negatives. Good luck with whatever decisions and opportunities come your way!x


----------



## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

Tricktrack said:


> So to sum up (sorry for rambling on!) yes we are very glad we made the move and so far all the positives far outweigh the negatives. Good luck with whatever decisions and opportunities come your way!x


Nice post, I think it was great you took the time to do this from a family perspective, I'm a bachelor so didn't think my situation relevant.


----------



## fcjb1970 (Apr 30, 2010)

XDoodlebugger said:


> Such as?


Such as:

Knowing that a guaranteed 3 year project which has a contract signed by the most senior person in the military is not worth the paper it is written on and can be cancelled after a year.

I am not going to spend time laying out examples but the reality here is that ex-pats are considered disposable at all economic levels and a company will gladly move you out here with all sorts of assurances and fire you with very little concern and it has nothing to do with the quality of work or amount you produce.




INFAMOUS said:


> Planes going back to North America hourly... :ranger:


I love that only positive remarks are considered valid in these types of posts. The OP asked if people were glad they made the move, not please tell me good things about making the move. 

I have seen a lot of people treated like cr*p by local companies (including myself). I did not know I would have to work in an environment were there is no concern for productivity and simply getting the tools you need to do your job can be a brutal effort. You will sit unproductive for weeks while you wait on something that costs a few days salary to get purchased. These are not isolated experiences, but ones that occurred regularly and are shared among many I know. My experience in the USA was working with top people who take pride in accomplishing a lot of work at a high level, which was far from my experience here.

Had I really understood this I do not think I would have made the move

Why am I still here because I met someone that made me want to stay and during my unemployment I worked out a position with a previous US employer to help develop their international client base. So I travel more than 50% of the time, and am located somewhere that I can be anywhere between the UK and Asia within a days travel.


----------



## nikkisizer (Aug 20, 2011)

Happybus said:


> Mr has now got to final interview stage for a role which he feels hopeful for subject to package, then he's off for a looksee trip.
> 
> So it could be Dubai here we come or bye bye Dubai opportunity..
> Our driving force would be to give us all an "experience" while saving some cash. Looking a 2year stint.
> ...


Yes indeedie


----------



## Windsweptdragon (Aug 12, 2012)

fcjb1970 said:


> Such as:
> 
> Knowing that a guaranteed 3 year project which has a contract signed by the most senior person in the military is not worth the paper it is written on and can be cancelled after a year.
> 
> ...


I've not been on the website long, so can't comment on every thread that has ever been made, the bit I've bolded in the quote was important though for me. 

In the first post you said you wouldn't have made the move if you'd known everything you did now, without detailing what you actually knew. Personally, I'm all for people advising about the bad bits of living here, as long as they reference what they are. I'm sure the OP would value the information you've given above, its certainly better than a totally rosey picture that can be painted. 

In response to the OP, I have no regrets about moving here at all. Overall its a much better life than in the UK. I moved here without family etc though, so your situation will be very different. The main complaint from colleagues who are here with their families is the schooling system, so I'd suggest you do research on that.


----------



## ccr (Jun 20, 2010)

Happybus said:


> ...are you happy you've made the move?


I am not exactly in the position where you are right now (i.e. making the decision regarding the first move internationally) since we have been overseas for over 16 years, living in many countries over most all of the continents... but take whatever useful and relevant for your own case.

Short answer... Yes, absolutely! :clap2:

Long answer... Yes, absolutely!  As others have touched, the experience will be based on:

- what industry is your husband working in: this will have influence on the compensation, duration and likely of continued international assignment, etc.

- which company will he work for in UAE (i.e. International or local or JV, etc): again, influence on compensation, benefits, etc.

- what kind of compensation package: some might think it is shallow but we all want to be compfortable in our lives, and if the living is crappy, it will have affect everything. No point to leave for little benefit. "Overseas expererience" is highly overrated. It needs to be well enough for you to save (no tax, no housing/car/school expenses)

- How are your own tolerance regarding changes ? If little, then it will be an endurance test. One thing I have learned is living internationally will help to develop your own level of tolerance - or you will go mad no matter where you live.

Compared to other places we have lived, I smile whenever I hear / read complains Dubai. I guess it is all relative, but as far as Middle-East is concerned, you can't get much better than Dubai as far as convenience, safety (outside of driving), entertainment options, housing, cars, roads, etc.

It is all relative to what you want to compare to, but I would not want to live anywhere else in the Gulf outside of Dubai (second is Abu Dhabi, third is Oman).

Dubai is full of ex-pats, and if you want to, you can create and live within a circle of Brits (or sub for other nationality) acquaintances the entire time here. Or you could experience as many of other cultures as you wish. And could teach your children to experience and accept the same...

Just my personal opinion so I am sure others might or might not agree...


----------



## Lita_Rulez (Nov 4, 2010)

Tricktrack said:


> So to sum up (sorry for rambling on!) yes we are very glad we made the move and so far all the positives far outweigh the negatives. Good luck with whatever decisions and opportunities come your way!x



Thanks for the opinion (I don't see any rambling on), and I'll jump on the band wagon and add the "I've been here for a while" perspective.

I've been here six years, and yes, I am still happy I made the move.

Had I known then what I know now about the place, would I have made the move ? Yes.
It would have been an easier transition, but I would still have made it.


Like everywhere else in the world, there are good sides and bad sides. 
For me, the biggest positive that still drives me to stay here for a solid while, is the difference in the quality of life, on an everyday basis.

Here, I can afford to have a nanny who takes care of my daughter from 7:30 AM to 7:30 PM, Sunday through Thursday, and while the little one is sleeping, will clean up the house and do the laundry.

This means that in the evening, all we have to do is either cook or take care of the little one (feeding / bath / bottle / Bedtime story) depending on the day (my wife and I each get our turn this way). 
It means on the weekend, aside from the grocery run, we can enjoy time together, go out, stay in, whatever, but not have to worry about all the usual week end catching up with the house chores...

Here, there is a pool in our building. We can be in the water every week end, even when it is too hot to go to the beach. Once the weather cools down, we will be going back to the beach, and again, for our daughter (and let's be honest, four ourselves as well), this is a great way of getting your dose of "outdoors".

Here, there are many families in the building, so in the afternoon, the nannys and maids all bring the kids down to play in the courtyard. Nationalities, languages, ages, everyone mixes up more or less, it's again something invaluable for our daughter's "education".


Do I miss my family and friends ? Yeah, but some of them come, we go, you find ways to keep in touch. Besides, at different periods of your life you do drift closer toand further apart from people, whether you are physically moving away or not.

Do I miss going to the movies every week in a decent movie theater, where they do clean the screen, and actually know how to set up a sound system (with something interesting to see and not just a choice between the latest Hollywood blockbuster, the latest Hollywood blockbuster in 3D, the second to last Hollywood blockbuster, the second to last Hollywood blockbuster in 3D, and the last three Bollywood smashing hits) ? Yes. And if I could stick the BBs up the people using it in the theater's backpipe without going to jail, I would.

Do I miss all the cultural life of exhibitions, museums, theater, musicals, etc. that you can go see for free or close to by getting "last minute" offers ? Yes.

Do I miss the little neighborhood bistro, where you know the owner, who has only 10 items on his menu, because he knows each and every single producer he is using, and gives you great food with love ? Yes.

Do I miss the little cafe next to a park, where I could sit in the morning of my day off with a newspaper and a book, nurse a couple of coffees until lunchtime, have simple steak and fries with some wine, then nurse the wine to 5 or 6PM with the book, and meet with friends for drinks when they come out of the office ? Yes.
Heck I miss the day off itself.

There are hundreds and hundreds of little things I miss. There are also hundreds upon hundreds of things I don't miss.


It's a balancing act. If you keep looking at the good things you miss from home, and the bad things you found here, you'll be miserable.
Just keep in mind what pushed your buttons there, and look around you at what you have, and you should be fine.
I mean, most people spend at least half their year dreaming of the 2 weeks they'll be able to go on holiday to a place where there is sun, the beach, the palm trees, exotic food, and exciting scenery.
Well, we have it all on our doorstep here.

If I get stressed out during the week, all I need to do is go for lunch on Friday (or even one up it to brunch) at a place like the al Qasr, or Madinat Jumeirah, or the Palace Old Town, and after an hour or two basking in the warmth, the good food, and taking in the view of either the waterways, the beach, the Burj Al Arab or the Burj Dubai, think about the people back home going to the supermarket under the rain, dreaming they were where I am to put things back in perspective.

And then I can go back home, throw on the swim suit and jump into the water with my daughter and look at her smile and splash around to know I made the right choice.


.
..
...

Should I try and pitch this to the Ministry of Tourism ?


----------



## ccr (Jun 20, 2010)

Lita_Rulez said:


> Do I miss the little cafe next to a park, where I could sit in the morning of my day off with a newspaper and a book, nurse a couple of coffees until lunchtime, have simple steak and fries with some wine, then nurse the wine to 5 or 6PM with the book, and meet with friends for drinks when they come out of the office ? Yes.


God, I miss that part about living in Europe...


----------



## PolarBear (Jul 12, 2010)

Happybus said:


> So back to my question" on balance" are you happy you've made the move?
> HB


There are several things I wish I had known before coming here. I moved with an international company that's treated me great, both in terms of compensation and benefits. What we did not expect was for such companies to be so far and few between for my wife. She was initially unable to find a job at all. When she did, the company owners turned out to be nasty, abusive people. They had made sure she was on a fixed-term contract, which meant we would have had to pay 1 1/2 months of salary to the company in order for my wife to quit. The owners have "wasta", meaning there was no use going after them. Several of our friends have worked for companies that have paid them late, or not at all.

On balance I wish we hadn't come, and we are now trying to find a way to get back home. It's unfortunately not as easy as getting on the next plane, as most people will need a job to go to. 

That said - plenty of people have a great time out here. Just be sure to come with your eyes wide open, and preferably with an exit strategy if things go south.


----------



## crt454 (Sep 3, 2012)

For the couples with kids, i would have to say the US set the bar high for eduction world wide, even the best schools here can't compete with the worst schools in the US.


----------



## ccr (Jun 20, 2010)

crt454 said:


> For the couples with kids, i would have to say the US set the bar high for eduction world wide, even the best schools here can't compete with the worst schools in the US.


I have to disagree...


----------



## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

crt454 said:


> For the couples with kids, i would have to say the US set the bar high for eduction world wide, even the best schools here can't compete with the worst schools in the US.


So why are you all thick as sh!t?


----------



## saraswat (Apr 28, 2012)

crt454 said:


> For the couples with kids, i would have to say the US set the bar high for eduction world wide, even the best schools here can't compete with the worst schools in the US.


No metal detectors in the worst schools here..


----------



## m1key (Jun 29, 2011)

This should be good! op2:


----------



## crt454 (Sep 3, 2012)

Please tell meThis, why are there intl students flocking to the US to study paying more then 100kusd a year?


----------



## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

crt454 said:


> Please tell meThis, why are there intl students flocking to the US to study paying more then 100kusd a year?


The women r easy and they Like tobreak from standrd edu conventions.


----------



## saraswat (Apr 28, 2012)

crt454 said:


> Please tell meThis, why are there intl students flocking to the US to study paying more then 100kusd a year?


Saying the education system sets the standard is far too broad, the education system includes public/private, nursery/middle/high schools and higher education institutes. Where higher education is concerned I agree with your statement, but the thread mentions young children.. who unless, they are the next stephen hawking/einstein, will be considering the former, which unfortunately is in pretty bad shape (public that is).. 

Not trying to deviate this thread from its initial purpose... @OP my apologies...

:focus:


----------



## Beamrider (May 18, 2012)

Mr Rossi said:


> The women r easy and they Like tobreak from standrd edu conventions.


M1key, pass the popcorn, this is gonna be fun. :fencing:


----------



## Garth Vader (May 11, 2012)

Mr Rossi said:


> So why are you all thick as sh!t?


Comeback of the day.

:rofl:



crt454 said:


> Please tell meThis, why are there intl students flocking to the US to study paying more then 100kusd a year?


Is this an example of the finest education in the world?


----------



## Happybus (Sep 18, 2012)

Oh dear, things were really going well with some really constructive & meaningful comments.....

Boys, please leave my thread and go play elsewhere, US education may be well thought of, but manners seem in short supply.


----------



## crt454 (Sep 3, 2012)

Ok i will let this thread be, and just let this thread be colonized by the brits, no pun intended .


----------



## ccr (Jun 20, 2010)

crt454 said:


> Ok i will let this thread be, and just let this thread be colonized by the brits, no pun intended .


Dude, you should be busy playing with your US$3,000 iPhone5 anyway...


----------



## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

Happybus said:


> Oh dear, things were really going well with some really constructive & meaningful comments.....
> 
> Boys, please leave my thread and go play elsewhere, US education may be well thought of, but manners seem in short supply.


In answer to your original question, I find Dubai so boring I pass the time being a knob end to strangers on the internet. Though to be fair only the ones that set themselves up.


----------



## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

fcjb1970 said:


> Such as:
> 
> Knowing that a guaranteed 3 year project which has a contract signed by the most senior person in the military is not worth the paper it is written on and can be cancelled after a year.
> 
> ...


Thanks for explanation and not isolated!


----------



## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

Mr Rossi said:


> In answer to your original question, I find Dubai so boring I pass the time being a knob end to strangers on the internet. Though to be fair only the ones that set themselves up.


"Boredom is a sign of a weak mind" as they say.............


----------

