# hooked on egyption man



## missirish

Hi 

I think i might be considered naive but i dont care.

Here are the facts:

I met him online hahahha but it was not a chatroom. it was in a game. thats all i wil say. i knew him quite a while before i added him to msn. 

He was engaged to be married and only wanted friendship as did i. He found me hilarious with the things i wud come out with and i would constantly tease him.. I think he just wanted a laugh. We were honestly just great friends.

He told me of his family and things which were going on. (not sick mother or anything like this.. real issues which i know to be true and cant be resolved financially)

His engagement finished for reasons i would not like to get into.. Very valid reasons but its not my place to tell his business on here. He showed me pictures of his engagement party and his family

We would have talks on religion both mine and his and he would talk of his egypt and what it was like there. 
No love talk of any sort 

But after a while i found myself getting more and more attracted to him. I love his mind, his way of thinking and his perception on the way he would like life to be. 
He has a very good job, a degree and owns a flat (from the time he was engaged). He had bought the furniture etc. 

i thought it best to keep my feelings to myself because i didnt think that he would appreciate me complicating things, together with the reason that i am a very proud woman. i left it months. We started to talk about something very personal things that upset me one night and he started to make me feel better about it (as u do, i was upset) this night i told him that he was the nicest man i ever met and that it would be great if there were more like him, he said the same to me. .. Then it pretty much grew from there. 

I had no doubts about him until i started reading threads online about egyption scam artists. Now im an intelligent woman. I am training to be an accountant but i dont earn much and he knows this. but stil i find myself being cautious about him now.

I have accused him of trying to con me and he just takes it from me all the time. I see it kills him on the camera but he just says its ur right to be careful. u will know soon when u see me in person i promise. i will erase all doubt. but i still do it over and over again to him. we could be having fun and laughing and then i feel my wall lowering and ill say something to put it back up again.. i can c it in his face, but he als remains calm with me and listens and justifys everything i throw at him. 
i set up dummy msn and tried to add him and he didnt fall for the bait. 

he plans on coming to see me in a two months and i thought he needed invite letter but he says no that he does not want it that he will try to get visa and come on tourist visa. 
wants me to meet his family, told them about me.
He said its customery for the man to get engaged for a period and then marry. The couple get to know each other after her hand in marraige is requested. He asked me and i got a little freaked out because usually here they wait years before asking. He told me its commonplace to ask early and be engaged for period of getting to know the person and then decide if they will marry. I told him i was no where near ready and he just said, when u decide habibi

He says i make him laugh and that he is sure i will make me happy. When i start with my accusations he tells me that he promises that i will never regret loving him. He swears by god. (he is a devout muslim).
I ask him about religious differences and he said its allowed to marry christian but if i dont want to convert its not a problem. i told him i have no intentions of converting and he says ok as long as the children are muslim

i am two years older than him (not much) and i have children. I wondered what he wanted with me as i thought he would be scrutinised for being with a woman with children who were not his. He makes excuses for me and says that if things had of been right with the man i picked i would have been married already. He tries to turn me into a good person hahhahah. His family have asked about the children too.

He says he doesnt choose who he falls for and believes that its ok or god would not have matched us.. He says its out of our hands.
He talks of me moving to egypt, telling me there are schools for the kids(international). He says not to worry about anything that we will sort things out. 

Im afraid i will ruin things with him because of all the threads i have read and i told him i wil stop reading.. He says no.. read what u want. i dont care what u read. he says i will know when i meet him. 

One night i was going out with the girls and was wearing low cut clothes. I did not think much of it until he mentioned it. He says my clothes are mostly fine but he says that he felt a little sad that i was going out with this top on. I got cross and told him i wasnt in egypt and he just looked genuinely upset and said something like.. men will be looking at ur skin. 

He give me his phone number and he has mine.. but i dont use it much.mostly to tell him when im online and he does the same. 

Look i hate to hurt him with my doubts, he constantly begs me to trust him. I know its awful for him and it is for me too. He does make me happy and to be honest people say its not real to fall in love online but for me its real. and when i meet him i just know i will love him more. My heart swells for him at the very sight of him. Its not lust either..

oh yes and he showed me his work ID, his national ID, he tells me to email anyone of his contacts on msn or anywhere else to ask about his character. He acts like he has nothing to hide and constantly tells me he has never lied to me. 
I know this is long but i wanted to tell u everything. I need an outsiders point of view. I wonder if im blinded a little. 
Pls no calling me stupid hahah. I would really appreciated ur intelligent opinions and views on my situation. I know u cant tell me what to do, but maybe from what i have said u might be able to tell me if i am ok to let this run or not. I dont want to lose the best thing that could ever happen to me but i do want to get rid of someone who is trying to con me. hahhaah (see my confusion!!)


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## bat

missirish said:


> Hi
> 
> I think i might be considered naive but i dont care.
> 
> Here are the facts:
> 
> I met him online hahahha but it was not a chatroom. it was in a game. thats all i wil say. i knew him quite a while before i added him to msn.
> 
> He was engaged to be married and only wanted friendship as did i. He found me hilarious with the things i wud come out with and i would constantly tease him.. I think he just wanted a laugh. We were honestly just great friends.
> 
> He told me of his family and things which were going on. (not sick mother or anything like this.. real issues which i know to be true and cant be resolved financially)
> 
> His engagement finished for reasons i would not like to get into.. Very valid reasons but its not my place to tell his business on here. He showed me pictures of his
> engagement party and his famil
> 
> We would have talks on religion both mine and his and he would talk of his egypt and what it was like there.
> No love talk of any sort
> 
> But after a while i found myself getting more and more attracted to him. I love his mind, his way of thinking and his perception on the way he would like life to be.
> He has a very good job, a degree and owns a flat (from the time he was engaged). He had bought the furniture etc.
> 
> i thought it best to keep my feelings to myself because i didnt think that he would appreciate me complicating things, together with the reason that i am a very proud
> 
> woman. i left it months. We started to talk about something very personal things thaupset me one night and he started to make me feel better about it (as u do, i was
> 
> upset) this night i told him that he was the nicest man i ever met and that it w
> 
> great if there were more like him, he said the same to me. .. Then it pretty much grew from there.
> 
> I had no doubts about him until i started reading threads online about egyption scam artists. Now im an intelligent woman. I am training to be an accountant but i dont earn much and he knows this. but stil i find myself being cautious about him now.
> 
> I have accused him of trying to con me and he just takes it from me all the time. I see it kills him on the camera but he just says its ur right to be careful. u will know soon when u see me in person i promise. i will erase all doubt. but i still do it over and over again to him. we could be having fun and laughing and then i feel my wall lowering and ill say something to put it back up again.. i can c it in his face, but he als remains calm with me and listens and justifys everything i throw at him.
> i set up dummy msn and tried to add him and he didnt fall for the bai
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> he plans on coming to see me in a two months and i thought he needed invite letter but he says no that he does not want it that he will try to get visa and come on tourist visa.
> wants me to meet his family, told them about me.
> He said its customery for the man to get engaged for a period and then marry. The couple get to know each other after her hand in marraige is requested. He asked me and i got a little freaked out because usually here they wait years before asking. He told me its commonplace to ask early and be engaged for period of getting to know the person and then decide if they will marry. I told him i was no where near ready and he just said, when u decide habibi
> 
> He says i make him laugh and that he is sure i will make me happy. When i start with my accusations he tells me that he promises that i will never regret lhis wears
> 
> 
> 
> swears by god. (he is a devout muslim)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I ask him about religious differences and he said its allowed to marry christian but if i dont want to convert its not a problem. i told him i have no intentions of converting and he says ok as long as the children are muslim
> 
> i am two years older than him (not much) and i have children. I wondered what he wanted with me as i thought he would be scrutinised for being with a woman with children who were not his. He makes excuses for me and says that if things had of been right with the man i picked i would have been married already. He tries to turn me into a good person hahhahah. His family have asked about the children too.
> 
> He says he doesnt choose who he falls for and believes that its ok or god would not have matched us.. He says its out of our hands.
> He talks of me moving to egypt, telling me there are schools for the kids(international). He says not to worry about anything that we will sort things out.
> 
> Im afraid i will ruin things with him because of all the threads i have read and i tol
> 
> him i wil stop reading.. He says no.. read what u want. i dont care what u read. he says i will know when i meet him.
> 
> One night i was going out with the girls and was wearing low cut clothes. I did not think much of it until he mentioned it. He says my clothes are mostly fine but he says that he felt a little sad that i was going out with this top on. I got cross and told him i wasnt in egypt and he just looked genuinely upset and said something like.. mewilebe looking at ur skin.
> 
> He give me his phone number and he has mine.. but i dont use it much.mostly to tell him when im online and he does the same.
> 
> Look i hate to hurt him with my doubts, he constantly begs me to trust him. I know its awful for him and it is for me too. He does make me happy and to be honest people say its not real to fall in love online but for me its real. and when i meet him i just know i will love him more. My heart swells for him at the very sight of him. Its not lust eit
> 
> oh yes and he showed me his work ID, his national ID, he tells me to email anyone of his contacts on msn or anywhere else to ask about his character. He acts like he has nothing to hide and constantly tells me he has never lied to me.
> I know this is long but i wanted to tell u everything. I need an outsiders point of view. I wonder if im blinded a little.
> Pls no calling me stupid hahah. I would really appreciated ur intelligent opinions and views on my situation. I know u cant tell me what to do, but maybe from what i have said u might be able to tell me if i am ok to let this run or not. I dont want to lose the best thing that could ever happen to me but i do want to get rid of someone who is trying to con me. hahhaah (see my confusion!!)



Good morning bat here.
Was in similar position to you many years ago.
And know of another Irish girl also who I think in similar position and it worked out for her. First of all were is his flat and what's his job did he say how much he earned. Also is he thinking of moving to uk or you coming here. Also I don't think it's a matter of conning . But you marry here with the best advantages. Sorry to say he's trying to tell you what to wear, though I can see were he's coming from,is only the start of it . It gets worse believe you me. What age are your children. Also international schools cost a fortune so unless he owns or works for an international company forget it.take it a step at a time. If he gets a visa to uk irland etc. If he's a devout Muslim or a good Egyptian , then he will not stay with you he will take a hotel etc,
But first of all see if he gets a visa. Yes Egyptian men I must admit are something else, but when you marry them you marry the whole family. His family will not be happy that you have children ( what ever he says , been there so I know.)but just see but don't burn your bridges. You said you were in training what ever you do do finish it. I was in the middle of something when I came and never finished and still regret not finishing. Sure you'll here from others in similar position.bat


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## MaidenScotland

Hi and welcome.

I think Bat put it all rather well.
Yes there are internet romances that work and with Egyptian men but it is safe to say that the majority don't.
He owns a flat and furnished it... usually the brides parents furnish the flat? where is it?
I have been in flats with one window for the whole flat!! It may not be what you think a flat is.
Does he have a computer in his house or is it an internet cafe he uses?
Egyptian men's families want them to marry virgins...and so do Egyptian men.. unless there is another sweetener.
He has already complained about what you are wearing and you haven't even met him. Lets be honest here if you were in the Uk/Ireland and someone you had gone out with say 3 times told you not to wear something as he didn't want men looking at you... you would say..On your bike mate. If you come here and marry him it will get worse. If he can't stand the thought of a man looking at your low top just think how he will feel thinking about you not being a virgin.
He is trying to control you from afar.
Yes it is customary to get engaged first... but that is when he is marrying an Egyptian girl and the parents have met and sorted it all out.
What about your customs? Your customs don't matter.
He will want children and his family will want them even more.. where do you stand on that?
Your children will take second place in his family when and if you have children with their son.
If he was a good Muslim man when he was engaged he would not have developed an on line friendship with a women regardless of the tone of the friendship and to be honest they all say they are good Muslims.. it means nothing.
Chances of him getting a tourist visa to visit a woman he met on line are slim to none... he will have to have money in the bank and a job to prove that he has something to come back to.

The choice is yours to make but remember you are not only making a choice for you but for your children.

Maiden

btw it is not just Egyptian men that try and con you and get visa to the west... but it does tend to be people from third world or developing countries eager to leave their country behind.


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## jojo

You havent even met him???????? 

Forget the possibility that he may be scamming you - at this stage thats neither here or there and you only have his word for anything.......and he yours come to that. 

You havent a clue who or what he is, so love and commitment are light years away! I suggest you meet him. Look at him objectively, see whether he is someone that you and your children could actually associate and enjoy being with before you start to think about taking things any further than just an internet flirt

Jo xxx


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## Horus

He is probably a very nice person I always think it's nice to take a chance you are a grown adult and know the risks that these things often just don't work out but you don't know until you try them.

The key element is don't burn your bridges back home - and have an escape plan and some cash ready to get back to the UK


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## MaidenScotland

Horus said:


> He is probably a very nice person I always think it's nice to take a chance you are a grown adult and know the risks that these things often just don't work out but you don't know until you try them.
> 
> The key element is don't burn your bridges back home - and have an escape plan and some cash ready to get back to the UK




It's easy to take a risk when you are single.. but when children are involved it is a whole different ball game,


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## sjpsjp

missirish said:


> Hi
> 
> I think i might be considered naive but i dont care.
> 
> Here are the facts:
> 
> I met him online hahahha but it was not a chatroom. it was in a game. thats all i wil say. i knew him quite a while before i added him to msn.
> 
> He was engaged to be married and only wanted friendship as did i. He found me hilarious with the things i wud come out with and i would constantly tease him.. I think he just wanted a laugh. We were honestly just great friends.
> 
> He told me of his family and things which were going on. (not sick mother or anything like this.. real issues which i know to be true and cant be resolved financially)
> 
> His engagement finished for reasons i would not like to get into.. Very valid reasons but its not my place to tell his business on here. He showed me pictures of his engagement party and his family
> 
> We would have talks on religion both mine and his and he would talk of his egypt and what it was like there.
> No love talk of any sort
> 
> But after a while i found myself getting more and more attracted to him. I love his mind, his way of thinking and his perception on the way he would like life to be.
> He has a very good job, a degree and owns a flat (from the time he was engaged). He had bought the furniture etc.
> 
> i thought it best to keep my feelings to myself because i didnt think that he would appreciate me complicating things, together with the reason that i am a very proud woman. i left it months. We started to talk about something very personal things that upset me one night and he started to make me feel better about it (as u do, i was upset) this night i told him that he was the nicest man i ever met and that it would be great if there were more like him, he said the same to me. .. Then it pretty much grew from there.
> 
> I had no doubts about him until i started reading threads online about egyption scam artists. Now im an intelligent woman. I am training to be an accountant but i dont earn much and he knows this. but stil i find myself being cautious about him now.
> 
> I have accused him of trying to con me and he just takes it from me all the time. I see it kills him on the camera but he just says its ur right to be careful. u will know soon when u see me in person i promise. i will erase all doubt. but i still do it over and over again to him. we could be having fun and laughing and then i feel my wall lowering and ill say something to put it back up again.. i can c it in his face, but he als remains calm with me and listens and justifys everything i throw at him.
> i set up dummy msn and tried to add him and he didnt fall for the bait.
> 
> he plans on coming to see me in a two months and i thought he needed invite letter but he says no that he does not want it that he will try to get visa and come on tourist visa.
> wants me to meet his family, told them about me.
> He said its customery for the man to get engaged for a period and then marry. The couple get to know each other after her hand in marraige is requested. He asked me and i got a little freaked out because usually here they wait years before asking. He told me its commonplace to ask early and be engaged for period of getting to know the person and then decide if they will marry. I told him i was no where near ready and he just said, when u decide habibi
> 
> He says i make him laugh and that he is sure i will make me happy. When i start with my accusations he tells me that he promises that i will never regret loving him. He swears by god. (he is a devout muslim).
> I ask him about religious differences and he said its allowed to marry christian but if i dont want to convert its not a problem. i told him i have no intentions of converting and he says ok as long as the children are muslim
> 
> i am two years older than him (not much) and i have children. I wondered what he wanted with me as i thought he would be scrutinised for being with a woman with children who were not his. He makes excuses for me and says that if things had of been right with the man i picked i would have been married already. He tries to turn me into a good person hahhahah. His family have asked about the children too.
> 
> He says he doesnt choose who he falls for and believes that its ok or god would not have matched us.. He says its out of our hands.
> He talks of me moving to egypt, telling me there are schools for the kids(international). He says not to worry about anything that we will sort things out.
> 
> Im afraid i will ruin things with him because of all the threads i have read and i told him i wil stop reading.. He says no.. read what u want. i dont care what u read. he says i will know when i meet him.
> 
> One night i was going out with the girls and was wearing low cut clothes. I did not think much of it until he mentioned it. He says my clothes are mostly fine but he says that he felt a little sad that i was going out with this top on. I got cross and told him i wasnt in egypt and he just looked genuinely upset and said something like.. men will be looking at ur skin.
> 
> He give me his phone number and he has mine.. but i dont use it much.mostly to tell him when im online and he does the same.
> 
> Look i hate to hurt him with my doubts, he constantly begs me to trust him. I know its awful for him and it is for me too. He does make me happy and to be honest people say its not real to fall in love online but for me its real. and when i meet him i just know i will love him more. My heart swells for him at the very sight of him. Its not lust either..
> 
> oh yes and he showed me his work ID, his national ID, he tells me to email anyone of his contacts on msn or anywhere else to ask about his character. He acts like he has nothing to hide and constantly tells me he has never lied to me.
> I know this is long but i wanted to tell u everything. I need an outsiders point of view. I wonder if im blinded a little.
> Pls no calling me stupid hahah. I would really appreciated ur intelligent opinions and views on my situation. I know u cant tell me what to do, but maybe from what i have said u might be able to tell me if i am ok to let this run or not. I dont want to lose the best thing that could ever happen to me but i do want to get rid of someone who is trying to con me. hahhaah (see my confusion!!)




Hello, only you know what you want to do but please have in mind men here know what they are doing (not every man here is bad i would like to say) just some are,the same as all over the world but it has been known many times they may have 3 or 4 windows open at the same time.
I agree if it was you alone go along with it enjoy it and see where it takes you but there are children involved so think first.
Never have him tell you about your clothes etc,that would be a taste as what might come and get worse!!
hope it all works for you whatever you do in the end
x


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## jojo

MaidenScotland said:


> It's easy to take a risk when you are single.. but when children are involved it is a whole different ball game,



Quite! When I was inbetween marriages and had two little girls I wouldnt entertain anyone who didnt like children and then if I did think that "maybe"??? I would then subtly introduce my kids to him. I would then make sure they all met several times, liked each other, formed a friendship beyond the "sweeties bribe" (most of my potential suiters brought sweets for the kids thinking they could buy them - no problem with that but my kids saw through it) before I would allow anyone, including myself to think beyond just a friendship. As for commiting to living with, marrying etc - absolutely not til I was satisfied that it would work on all levels, but especially for my kids! I dumped a couple who I thought were "the one" because all was not well with my daughters. 



Jo xxx


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## missirish

Thank you so much for ur replysHi all 
Firstly thank u all for ur quick replys to my thread.. You have been so helpful. Firstly to answer your questions. The flat is in alex. He leases it to a married couple. He still lives at home but travels weekly to cairo for work.. He is engineer who does work for international company, and does have money in the bank.

He has every intention of staying in a hotel when he comes and has booked one. He knows that i wont show him to my children i have told him this. I have to be very careful. He want me to book a room in the hotel also to spend the week with him.
My children will always come first so no one need worry about that believe me.

I have told him that i need to finish my training and he agrees that i should. No decisions have been made yet on where we will go or live but i i will remain where its best for me and my children. Here. 

Yes they all say they are good muslims and to be honest i think on this always. Sometimes i have to admit that a comment one of u made gets to me alot.. Why did he add me when he was engaged. The truth is i was in relationship also but very unhappy. I didnt tell him this and have since ended it. I told him when i ended it. Not because of egyption man but because i felt that if i was adding a man on msn that it said something. Im a loyal woman and started to think on my situation. He says he was unsure of his relationship and her mother would give him a hard time always. He said they were spiteful people and was unsure from the beginning. He said he thought she was beautiful but that he wanted more. He thinks that some egyption women only care for money and gold and material things.. i think he was bitten and is a little sour about it.. 

He bought the appliances he says .. hahahha I have feeling about him but im not sure if it was caused by reading other peoples stories. He says hes never been with a woman but yet he would be with me.. if i commit to him he says that he would marry me in the airport hahahahhahahahahhhh. Maybe he is sick of waiting on a bit i dont know. hahahah He says he would need to make things right .

He has his own computer.. and internet. I wil meet him here and let it run until then. Just in case he is genuine i want to give him the chance. He has told his parents he will come and they dont seem to mind as long as he is happy but they have asked about the children.. He did not tell me much.

in relation to premarital relations he says if i want we can wait.. gives me some crap about not caring he is not the first as long as hes the last... the more i write to more i analyise this and think hes full of it..  

i am catholic and i believe in my faith but i dont follow my faith by the book but from what i have read i think muslims normally do.. He prays he fasts he does all the things hes meant to do. Maybe he will follow the parts that suits him. I am one of the most paranoid people in the world and believe me i give him a hard time.
but i have to admit that the fact that he is interested in me at all when i have children rings alarm bells.. They want to marry virgins. Near the time he will probably come up with an excuse that he cant come.. i have a feeling he might.. A friend of his traveled last year so maybe he wil get visa i dont know..

Thanks again everyone.. Im sure u have heard a story like this numerous times and replied to similar threads quite often.. I am so gutted at the thought of him messing with me.. I genuinely am a nice person who has made mistakes of course but i dont deserve this happening to me. I have had an awful year.. my youngest was born with a condition but gladly it was fixed and she is completely normal now.. He knows about my history. i had one very bad relationship, and with him knowing all this and still wishing to dupe me (and being such a good muslim !!!!!!!) i wonder about human nature. I am upset and angry that i am so stupid.. and angry that i let myself get sucked in. I hope i can eventually bring myself to delete the msn account altogether. The truth is that i never felt good enough because of my situation.. He als tells me i am too hard on myself and that i dont realise that im on the top.. But its all just crap  maybe its just a fantasy but id like to think that there are situations where someone just doesnt care about the past and just want what they want for the future regardles of religion and culture, but with a muslim?? i think i am fantacising.. 

Yesterday i showed him a webisite called liarscheats*******s with men of this sort. Told him he will go up there on it if he is messing.. He thought it was funny... 
Thank u so much everyone..You have no idea how much i appreciate your honest comments.. I have taken them on baord.. My children will always come first.. I wont be moving anywhere. I love them to death. Its time for me now to stop being selfish ..


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## jojo

One things for sure, it doesnt matter how many websites you show him or how many times you tell him, even if he were a liar and a cheat he aint gonna admit it to you!! 

Personally I'd go find someone you can actually touch, see and feel, and for a good long time too, before I let my feeling go anywhere!!


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## missirish

Thank u bat.. I will be finishing my training.. I went back to college after i had my children and it was hard and i dont have any intention of wasting it.. He talked of egypt but i know its not realistic..


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## MaidenScotland

Liars and cheats come in all shapes, sizes, races, religion and sexes... and they all deny they are a liar and a cheat.
It does make me laugh when I hear the I am a good Muslim (I am not just talking about your case) it is brought out at every aspect of life... Why saying I am a good Muslim, Catholic, etc should make any difference is beyond me. I am Catholic and I think I am a good person but I don't keep saying I am a good Catholic when questioned on my motives.

When you work with Egyptians the first thing they say to you is... Don't trust him/her but you can trust me.


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## missirish

thank you maidan scotland..

You live in egypt so u know them.. Oh i no there are bad men everywhere.. i know whre u are coming from with the religion statement of i am a good muslim.. Im sure they obey some parts and falter on some parts. Im sure there is all sorts going on but its just the secrets are kept.... I am not naive enough to believe that they dont have premarital relations and that they are sin free haha .Im sure they are human too.. but u dont see many children outside of marraige in egypt? do u?? (i am asking, i dont know) 
The part that bothers me is that he does believe in his religion so much and adheres to most of it.. i doubt him because he is willing to compromise on it.(be with me). I dont think bad of him for it that would make me hyprocite, but y hold onto it for so long and then decide to give it to a woman u met online.. Is he a bit silly? naive himself? I mean ud swear he was doin me a favour hahahahhah. I think the issue here is whether[i would let him near me hahahahhaha. 

And yes i get that.. Oh pls trust me.. pls this pls that.. i need u to trust me.. I think u will leave me because of this blah blah.. Tell me what i can do.... and maidan scotland, if he is this good at telling lies, maybe he will be just as good when he does come here in few months.. Maybe he will be worthy of oscar nomination.. i wonder if i meet him will i just serve to make matters worse for myself...

I think because i have kids i am good target, because he knows its likely i wont move because of them..His agenda is to move here.. that is probably the sweetener.


----------



## Suzzanne

missirish said:


> Hi
> 
> I think i might be considered naive but i dont care.
> 
> Here are the facts:
> 
> I met him online hahahha but it was not a chatroom. it was in a game. thats all i wil say. i knew him quite a while before i added him to msn.
> 
> He was engaged to be married and only wanted friendship as did i. He found me hilarious with the things i wud come out with and i would constantly tease him.. I think he just wanted a laugh. We were honestly just great friends.
> 
> He told me of his family and things which were going on. (not sick mother or anything like this.. real issues which i know to be true and cant be resolved financially)
> 
> His engagement finished for reasons i would not like to get into.. Very valid reasons but its not my place to tell his business on here. He showed me pictures of his engagement party and his family
> 
> We would have talks on religion both mine and his and he would talk of his egypt and what it was like there.
> No love talk of any sort
> 
> But after a while i found myself getting more and more attracted to him. I love his mind, his way of thinking and his perception on the way he would like life to be.
> He has a very good job, a degree and owns a flat (from the time he was engaged). He had bought the furniture etc.
> 
> i thought it best to keep my feelings to myself because i didnt think that he would appreciate me complicating things, together with the reason that i am a very proud woman. i left it months. We started to talk about something very personal things that upset me one night and he started to make me feel better about it (as u do, i was upset) this night i told him that he was the nicest man i ever met and that it would be great if there were more like him, he said the same to me. .. Then it pretty much grew from there.
> 
> I had no doubts about him until i started reading threads online about egyption scam artists. Now im an intelligent woman. I am training to be an accountant but i dont earn much and he knows this. but stil i find myself being cautious about him now.
> 
> I have accused him of trying to con me and he just takes it from me all the time. I see it kills him on the camera but he just says its ur right to be careful. u will know soon when u see me in person i promise. i will erase all doubt. but i still do it over and over again to him. we could be having fun and laughing and then i feel my wall lowering and ill say something to put it back up again.. i can c it in his face, but he als remains calm with me and listens and justifys everything i throw at him.
> i set up dummy msn and tried to add him and he didnt fall for the bait.
> 
> he plans on coming to see me in a two months and i thought he needed invite letter but he says no that he does not want it that he will try to get visa and come on tourist visa.
> wants me to meet his family, told them about me.
> He said its customery for the man to get engaged for a period and then marry. The couple get to know each other after her hand in marraige is requested. He asked me and i got a little freaked out because usually here they wait years before asking. He told me its commonplace to ask early and be engaged for period of getting to know the person and then decide if they will marry. I told him i was no where near ready and he just said, when u decide habibi
> 
> He says i make him laugh and that he is sure i will make me happy. When i start with my accusations he tells me that he promises that i will never regret loving him. He swears by god. (he is a devout muslim).
> I ask him about religious differences and he said its allowed to marry christian but if i dont want to convert its not a problem. i told him i have no intentions of converting and he says ok as long as the children are muslim
> 
> i am two years older than him (not much) and i have children. I wondered what he wanted with me as i thought he would be scrutinised for being with a woman with children who were not his. He makes excuses for me and says that if things had of been right with the man i picked i would have been married already. He tries to turn me into a good person hahhahah. His family have asked about the children too.
> 
> He says he doesnt choose who he falls for and believes that its ok or god would not have matched us.. He says its out of our hands.
> He talks of me moving to egypt, telling me there are schools for the kids(international). He says not to worry about anything that we will sort things out.
> 
> Im afraid i will ruin things with him because of all the threads i have read and i told him i wil stop reading.. He says no.. read what u want. i dont care what u read. he says i will know when i meet him.
> 
> One night i was going out with the girls and was wearing low cut clothes. I did not think much of it until he mentioned it. He says my clothes are mostly fine but he says that he felt a little sad that i was going out with this top on. I got cross and told him i wasnt in egypt and he just looked genuinely upset and said something like.. men will be looking at ur skin.
> 
> He give me his phone number and he has mine.. but i dont use it much.mostly to tell him when im online and he does the same.
> 
> Look i hate to hurt him with my doubts, he constantly begs me to trust him. I know its awful for him and it is for me too. He does make me happy and to be honest people say its not real to fall in love online but for me its real. and when i meet him i just know i will love him more. My heart swells for him at the very sight of him. Its not lust either..
> 
> oh yes and he showed me his work ID, his national ID, he tells me to email anyone of his contacts on msn or anywhere else to ask about his character. He acts like he has nothing to hide and constantly tells me he has never lied to me.
> I know this is long but i wanted to tell u everything. I need an outsiders point of view. I wonder if im blinded a little.
> Pls no calling me stupid hahah. I would really appreciated ur intelligent opinions and views on my situation. I know u cant tell me what to do, but maybe from what i have said u might be able to tell me if i am ok to let this run or not. I dont want to lose the best thing that could ever happen to me but i do want to get rid of someone who is trying to con me. hahhaah (see my confusion!!)


Hey MissIrish 
I'm sure you are an intelligent woman, a mother even, if you were 100% sure of this man and had no doubts about him you would not be asking strangers on a forum whether you should trust another stranger would you? Tbh, if you were younger I would say he was grooming you. Be careful honey. There has been a lot of very good advice given to you on this thread, (from many different people) but still you want to trust him. If you want a definitive answer, I'd say change your msn and phone numbers and RUN!!!!!
Love and Peace
Su


----------



## MaidenScotland

missirish said:


> thank you maidan scotland..
> 
> You live in egypt so u know them.. Oh i no there are bad men everywhere.. i know whre u are coming from with the religion statement of i am a good muslim.. Im sure they obey some parts and falter on some parts. Im sure there is all sorts going on but its just the secrets are kept.... I am not naive enough to believe that they dont have premarital relations and that they are sin free haha .Im sure they are human too.. but u dont see many children outside of marraige in egypt? do u?? (i am asking, i dont know)
> The part that bothers me is that he does believe in his religion so much and adheres to most of it.. i doubt him because he is willing to compromise on it.(be with me). I dont think bad of him for it that would make me hyprocite, but y hold onto it for so long and then decide to give it to a woman u met online.. Is he a bit silly? naive himself? I mean ud swear he was doin me a favour hahahahhah. I think the issue here is whether[i would let him near me hahahahhaha.
> 
> And yes i get that.. Oh pls trust me.. pls this pls that.. i need u to trust me.. I think u will leave me because of this blah blah.. Tell me what i can do.... and maidan scotland, if he is this good at telling lies, maybe he will be just as good when he does come here in few months.. Maybe he will be worthy of oscar nomination.. i wonder if i meet him will i just serve to make matters worse for myself...
> 
> I think because i have kids i am good target, because he knows its likely i wont move because of them..His agenda is to move here.. that is probably the sweetener.



Culturally Egyptian men say I love you 5 minutes after they have met you. 
They tell everyone you are so beautiful.. women will tell you that also.
The trouble is many western women think that the men actually do love them when in fact all they are really saying is Your nice and I like too much.
Yes there are babies born out of wedlock here but like everything else it is hushed up.
I live in a very plush building and yet there is a brothel next door and another one within spitting distance..but they will deny it.
There is no HIV here nor are there any gay Egyptian men.. both these things belong in the west. 
In some ways you can understand why men here deny things it is the culture they are brought up in, the government denies everything so why shouldn't the masses?


I would say if he can get a tourist visa easily he will set his sights on someone else, someone without children. Many men here think that if you are divorced you are desperate and lonely.. that is why alot of them go for older divorced women. Plus of course they normally have a home in the west that they can sell and set him and his family up in splendour.. not all are like this but your chances of meeting ones that aren't are slim.

You may not earn a great deal but I would bet it is alot more than he earns, if you have a screwdriver here you can call yourself an engineer.
I once hired a so called accountant and he couldn't do books to trial balance, he was an entry clerk.. I ended up doing the books myself.

I will make a novena for him that he may find a rich virgin


----------



## missirish

Maiden scotland, You made me laugh.. Maybe i will use that line on him later .. I will make a novena for u so u will find a rich virgin.. hahahaha Ur all right. regretfully i plan on running a mile........


----------



## Horus

MaidenScotland said:


> Culturally Egyptian men say I love you 5 minutes after they have met you.
> They tell everyone you are so beautiful..


It's something I will try myself and see if it works; however I will leave it until the second bottle of wine


----------



## aykalam

Horus said:


> It's something I will try myself and see if it works; however I will leave it until the second bottle of wine


lol Horus, this only works for Egyptian guys. They are so good at BS that they end up believing it themselves, although they are always working on their long term "master plan".


----------



## bat

aykalam said:


> lol Horus, this only works for Egyptian guys. They are so good at BS that they end up believing it themselves, although they are always working on their long term "master plan".


Maybe he is maybe he's not genuine. But as all have pointed out, 
1 he may not get a visa.
2 he will want children and if you have a son( you seem to have one at least) he maybe pushed out. That's putting it nicely .
3 why was he on line when he was engaged.
4why did he tell you to get a hotel room as well.
Wait till you see if he gets a visa, if he comes then see. But to be honest it does not look good, but you have to be convinced for yourself. Good luck


----------



## Horus

aykalam said:


> lol Horus, this only works for Egyptian guys. They are so good at BS that they end up believing it themselves, although they are always working on their long term "master plan".


Well I suppose I will have to watch and learn, probably better than my favourite "HEY have a look at my new mobile phone, there is something wrong with it." Then as you hand it over and they look you say "Do you know what's wrong with it?" and the answer is..."your number's not in it"

I can't say it works nor does showing people your bank balance so sadly I simply give up the will to live and have invested in the new Lynx Scent called "the beast" and hope for the best


----------



## bat

Horus said:


> Well I suppose I will have to watch and learn, probably better than my favourite "HEY have a look at my new mobile phone, there is something wrong with it." Then as you hand it over and they look you say "Do you know what's wrong with it?" and the answer is..."your number's not in it"
> 
> I can't say it works nor does showing people your bank balance so sadly I simply give up the will to live and have invested in the new Lynx Scent called "the beast" and hope for the best


LOL oh my goodness, yes, take lessons. The policeman stopped my daughter for speeding and told her " I have your number" 
Yes she said so have lots of people. He let her go. Maybe it's not only the the men that BS


----------



## hurghadapat

MaidenScotland said:


> Culturally Egyptian men say I love you 5 minutes after they have met you.
> They tell everyone you are so beautiful.. women will tell you that also.
> The trouble is many western women think that the men actually do love them when in fact all they are really saying is Your nice and I like too much.
> Yes there are babies born out of wedlock here but like everything else it is hushed up.
> I live in a very plush building and yet there is a brothel next door and another one within spitting distance..but they will deny it.
> There is no HIV here nor are there any gay Egyptian men.. both these things belong in the west.
> In some ways you can understand why men here deny things it is the culture they are brought up in, the government denies everything so why shouldn't the masses?
> 
> 
> I would say if he can get a tourist visa easily he will set his sights on someone else, someone without children. Many men here think that if you are divorced you are desperate and lonely.. that is why alot of them go for older divorced women. Plus of course they normally have a home in the west that they can sell and set him and his family up in splendour.. not all are like this but your chances of meeting ones that aren't are slim.
> 
> You may not earn a great deal but I would bet it is alot more than he earns, if you have a screwdriver here you can call yourself an engineer.
> I once hired a so called accountant and he couldn't do books to trial balance, he was an entry clerk.. I ended up doing the books myself.
> 
> I will make a novena for him that he may find a rich virgin


When an Egyptian man tells you he loves you what he actually means is..."i will tolerate you for awhile or until something better comes along"


----------



## aykalam

hurghadapat said:


> When an Egyptian man tells you he loves you what he actually means is..."i will tolerate you for awhile or until something better comes along"


lol, I would say "until I get the papers that I want"


----------



## bat

hurghadapat said:


> When an Egyptian man tells you he loves you what he actually means is..."i will tolerate you for awhile or until something better comes along"


Now, now. What he means is, change your clothes, do my bidding without question, let my family interfere in your house, your cooking, look after my elderly parents. Be always on your best behavior, say " hard-eer" to all my demands. Give me sons. Then I'll grow bored with you because your not the girl I married and leave you. For a younger model .


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## jojo

I dont think nationality is my main concern - well apart from the terrible reputation and history Egyptian men seem to have. What I cant understand is how someone can even take anything seriously or further when they havent even met! Apart from the fact he could be lying and a con man, he may have no teeth, serious bad breath, pick his nose and eat it, have an incontinence and flatulence problem........ Pleas remember talks cheap, you're not! 

Jo xxx


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## Sonrisa

I don't want to call you stupid, but I cant help to wonder how a grown woman, with children, studies and responsabilites is even cosidering wasting any thought and time with what it appears to be a childish, silly, -and quite dangerous actually- fantasy.

It doesn't matter what it is said to you in this forum (in fact I havent' even read any of the answers), I really think you should seek help and stop communicating with this man before it totally messes up with your mind. 

By the way, it is Egypti*A*n.

Take care of yourself, and your family.


----------



## missirish

Sonrisa said:


> I don't want to call you stupid, but I cant help to wonder how a grown woman, with children, studies and responsabilites is even cosidering wasting any thought and time with what it appears to be a childish, silly, -and quite dangerous actually- fantasy.
> 
> It doesn't matter what it is said to you in this forum (in fact I havent' even read any of the answers), I really think you should seek help and stop communicating with this man before it totally messes up with your mind.
> 
> By the way, it is Egypti*A*n.
> 
> Take care of yourself, and your family.



Sonrisa 
Im sorry but i didnt come here to be ridiculed by u or anybody else.. im not stupid at all believe me.. and i am a good mother.. 
I asked for ur comments not an english lesson... I have taken on board everyones advice believe me.. and what woman grown or not doesnt want a nice man (even if he is a bloody fantasy and lets face it.. a decent man is a fantasy.. they all pick their noses, eat it, belch, fart, pick their toe nails and bloody scratch their ball.. even the egypti*AAAAAAAAAAAA*n men im sure.. Dont turn ur nose up at me just because i indulged myself in a fantasy..Many women before me have and many will after me.. thats the reality of it.. Fyi i would never put my children at risk..........


----------



## Sonrisa

HEy ...sorry I didn't mean to make fun of you. IT's just Egyptian often refer themselves as egyptions and it annoys the hell out of me.

I didn't mean it to sound it like an english lesson, I don't write very well in english myself...

Back to the point, if you were my best friend I'd give you exactly the same advice -dont ever talk again to the guy, it will drive you nuts and ruin your life! And then I would call you Stupid for thinking that this could work at all. But I don't know you, so I wont insult you.  

Maybe one day you'll meet a real man, maybe you won't but as we say in Spain, Be Rather by yourself than with the wrong companion!


----------



## bat

Sonrisa said:


> HEy ...sorry I didn't mean to make fun of you. IT's just Egyptian often refer themselves as egyptions and it annoys the hell out of me.
> 
> I didn't mean it to sound it like an english lesson, I don't write very well in english myself...
> 
> Back to the point, if you were my best friend I'd give you exactly the same advice -dont ever talk again to the guy, it will drive you nuts and ruin your life! And then I would call you Stupid for thinking that this could work at all. But I don't know you, so I wont insult you.
> 
> Maybe one day you'll meet a real man, maybe you won't but as we say in Spain, Be Rather by yourself than with the wrong companion!


Morning in Cairo airport waiting
I can see were both of you coming from as I said I was in same situ as Irish, but not so caught up in it , I also had child to think of and I was told I was stupid etc etc, 
Not to do it, but I met him here and was here for 3 months.
His family hated me, with a passion, but I was no spring chicken and a tough northerner .many of the things he has said ring very loud alarm bells and we have had this situation come up so many times in various groups that take place in Cairo ( not with any of these forum members) and we have said the same thing that every body is saying to you.we say this because, when woman get into situations here they are VERY BAD situations. Horror stories, and some people take years to get out of these situations. And some still going on,
This is not uk, Ireland , Europe or us this is a developing country.
Bat


----------



## jojo

missirish said:


> Sonrisa
> Im sorry but i didnt come here to be ridiculed by u or anybody else.. im not stupid at all believe me.. and i am a good mother..
> I asked for ur comments not an english lesson... I have taken on board everyones advice believe me.. and what woman grown or not doesnt want a nice man (even if he is a bloody fantasy and lets face it.. a decent man is a fantasy.. they all pick their noses, eat it, belch, fart, pick their toe nails and bloody scratch their ball.. even the egypti*AAAAAAAAAAAA*n men im sure.. Dont turn ur nose up at me just because i indulged myself in a fantasy..Many women before me have and many will after me.. thats the reality of it.. Fyi i would never put my children at risk..........


Fantasy is great hun, so dont ruin it by turning it into reality! 


Jo xxx


----------



## missirish

Yea i know its all very good and reasonable advice ladies... i will do the right thing for me and the kids..


----------



## Bon Bon

Hi ,
I would like to advise you to be careful upon meeting him.I can understand how nice/romantic/sweet person he might be but wandering why is he doing all this?
I mean he cant see you,touch you,love you(in real life yet)...is it coz clicking is there between you both?
Sorry, he is hiding sth behind these unrealistic reactions.
Weather to hve other passport,to have some fun,enjoy time,money....
Im telling you this based upon the fact Im half Egyptian/American.I lived in Egypt for 5 yrs.Dealt with all diff type of ppl.
Im not saying hes bad person,lair....yet,this is not truth teh way he is acting towards you.


----------



## Bon Bon

aykalam said:


> lol, I would say "until I get the papers that I want"


I approve what you have just said Aykalam..
seems you are in close connection with such mentality....Ooh,bless you!


----------



## samfurah

well missirish! 

its really your personal matter and you know him better.... but reading your post i see things which you might not see as you are not muslim...NO OFFENSIVE! see the point is you must not get carried by just magic of words but you must have patience and see how the guy is ...you said he felt bad about your short skirt! you see he is possisive and he already tried his way on you....you belong to a very free community and egyptian , arabs or any Asian community have many restrictions and barriers...besides in our community when you get married its the whole buch of family you deal with, its not like western community couples live togather and meet the family in every christmas or other occasion.......you have to deal with his family everyday whether you live in egypt or dubai you cant escape this........and its not easy if you dont know how to handle them!.. we as Asian finds it hard but we know the tricks and tactics...you are too innocent too deal with all these.....i think there are many other nice men in your community or in west........if you like him just continue talking but dont rush into relationship.....give more time and you can make up your mind clear.....


sam


----------



## expatagogo

Run. 

The broken engagement? How do you know it's not broken and he told her to wait while he sorts his papers out with a foreign wife, THEN he'll marry her? It wouldn't be the first time it's happened. 

He wants to stay in a hotel and suggests pre-marital relations? Translation: prove to me that everything I see on television is true and all western women are easy to bed. 

If he could get a visa to travel out of Egypt, why hasn't he at least stepped across the border to see what it's like? Probably because he can't. 

Don't let the "I'm a religious man" claim impress you. In Egypt, religion isn't only faith but an identity. It's different than the secular west. Seriously, if someone saw that he missed a prayer or didn't fast, it would be a bigger deal than if God noticed because Egyptians are quick to chastise each other, particularly when it comes to missing out on religious rituals. 

Even if he is an engineer, that's not an education that would translate into an engineering job outside of Egypt. The quality of the education is poor and primarily humors parents who want to say their child is an engineer and leads to a more suitable marriage partner. 

Again, run.


----------



## highvoltagehair

I too am talking to an Egyptian man (Will be engaged in 4 months). We met online as well. However, I met him through a friend I went to college with (She is from the same city in Egypt and knows him)...He and I became friends online, and started talking like pen pals. I will say that relationships with Egyptian men seem to move pretty fast in the beginning haha. But, I understand that it is the custom to get engaged, then get to know each other better before marriage. I have also read SO MUCH negative stuff online about Egyptian men trying to con women. But, with a clear head, I think you will be able to know if it is legit. I can tell you I have NO DOUBT in my mind that my boyfriend is genuine. 

Look for signs. My boyfriend from the start had me talking with his family. His Mom and I talk as much as we can, and I have become very close with his sister. He encourages me to contact them on my own. If he is serious about you he will want you to be close with his family and have their approval.

I cannot relate with the difference in religion, because my boyfriend is Christian...so I am not sure how that changes his or his families thoughts about you or a relationship with a foreigner. I guess you can consider my boyfriend more westernized than others. 

Also, it is probably not a good idea to bring up remarks about him trying to con you or scam you (once was enough). I know if I said that to my boyfriend it would hurt him. Or make him mad, and I don't want to open that can of worms since we are doing so well. If he loves you, his actions and his words should be enough to put your mind at ease.

You mentioned that he has a nice job, a flat, etc. Sounds like he does not need to find a sugar mama. And, he talks about you living in Egypt, so that is a great sign. BUT, just because he shows interest in Ireland doesn't make him bad either. When children are involved, it's important to think about which country would be better for them. And, if he doesn't have much money, a genuine, loving Egyptian man would still want to pay for everything! My boyfriend won't let me spend a dime, even though he works hard for his money and has been saving it for a while. That's the one thing we go back and forth about. But I can't win on this one haha...he doens't understand that in America guys don't have to pay for everything. He says if he lives in America one day, then I can pay for everything...until then, no hahaha. 

And please don't think that just because he didn't like the shirt you wore, that he is going to be HELL to live with. If he loves you, he wants the best for you, which probably isn't showin' off the girls at the club hahaha. Again, that is a culture thing too...the style of dress is different in Egypt. 

If his last relationship ended badly, then he probably is done with Egyptian girls for a while, and finds you to be a breath of fresh air. My boyfriend had his heart broken by an Egyptian girl who left him (they were supposed to get engaged) because she met another man that she felt could provide her with more money. (And now, he and I are about to get engaged, and she is SINGLE! haha...love it!) He thinks that many Egyptian girls care too much about money...so he says he's through with them haha.

I say, think about what you know about this man, what he has said, any signs he's given (good or bad)...and if you feel he is genuine, go for it. It could be amazing. And if not, you have met a friend who you enjoy talking with. Good luck...and I hope you have a great time when he visits!


----------



## bat

It sounds like you've never met and if your coming here, he's not able to get a visa and already he's talking about living in USA!!


----------



## highvoltagehair

read below


----------



## highvoltagehair

bat said:


> It sounds like you've never met and if your coming here, he's not able to get a visa and already he's talking about living in USA!!


Bat, if that is in reply to my post, thanks for the concern...but it is soooo not necessary. I didn't come here looking for advice. My relationship is wonderful. I was just sharing my experience with missirish. No we have not met in person...however, I will say again, a friend of mine (a very sweet girl I went to college with) is from the same city in Egypt...and her cousin and my boyfriend are best friends. She visits every summer, and has known my boyfriend for a while. He's legit  Also, you're right, mazboot! he probably can't get a visa. How many 20 something yr old Egyptian boys do you know that can get a visa to the US? And did you ever think maybe I'm going there because it's easier, and because I WANT to visit Egypt? He works so much and so hard...even if he could come here, he probably can't get the time off work right now. 

And, he's already talking about living in the US? I said he was joking about me spending my money. I told him in America the girls pay for just as much as the guys do...and he made a joke that he is in Egypt, and if he's in America one day, THEN he will let me pay, but until then, he will. And, what do you think we talk about, the weather? we are getting engaged soon, then married. Discussing where we will live is a BIG deal. Are we supposed to get married, then decide where we will live. Or just stay in Egypt for the rest of our lives because BAT said he might be scamming me?? lol. It's only natural to talk about which country we will live in. Just because we decide America is best ONE DAY for our children or for OUR future, doesn't mean he's out for a visa or green card....it means he is sweet to think about the future and what is best for us. 

*Does everyone have such a twisted view of Egyptian men? I know a ton of American guys who are losers, cheats, liars, criminals, etc. And I am lucky to have found someone so great...who cares if he's from Egypt?!? Bad people are everywhere...not just Egypt.* 

Ahhhhh...Sorry to rant, but I'm sure you all know that when someone is judging/making generalizations/making negative assumptions about someone you love (family, boyfriend, etc)...it's easy to start getting very defensive! Now it's my mission to prove to narrow minded people that EGYPTIAN MEN can be wonderful companions/husbands to foreign women. Maybe I'll start a blog called "See, I told you so...now stop talking trash about Egy Men".


----------



## bat

Been happily married to my Egyptian guy for over 20 yrs.


----------



## highvoltagehair

bat said:


> Been happily married to my Egyptian guy for over 20 yrs.


hahaha...I would not have guessed that. Congrats on 20+ years...I like to hear about nice, successful relationships between Egy men and foreign women. It's refreshing after seeing so much negative. And sorry, I am one of those "over-protective" types lol.


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## bat

highvoltagehair said:


> hahaha...I would not have guessed that. Congrats on 20+ years...I like to hear about nice, successful relationships between Egy men and foreign women. It's refreshing after seeing so much negative. And sorry, I am one of those "over-protective" types lol.


Ok 20 something years. But our relation ship in no way started like most I see on here and my husband wonders himself how girls can't see past it, and no way would I let my son or daughters start a relation ship like that in this fashion. We are ordinary people going about ordinary lives. Would you do this in your own country?


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## highvoltagehair

bat said:


> Ok 20 something years. But our relation ship in no way started like most I see on here and my husband wonders himself how girls can't see past it, and no way would I let my son or daughters start a relation ship like that in this fashion. We are ordinary people going about ordinary lives. Would you do this in your own country?


What does it matter how the relationship started? I didn't go to egyptianlove.com to find a mate. It just happened. And even if I did, what's the problem? There are worst ways to meet someone...I could've fallen for the drug dealer, or decided to marry a prison pen pal. Let's hope your son or daughter doesn't do that. If you're this narrow minded about a Egy/American long distance relationship, I'd hate to see how you'll react when they bring a loser home to meet you and Dad! But hey, at least they're local, right?? Just because it's a long distance relationship doesn't make it anything less special than your marriage. And what does "ordinary people going about ordinary lives" mean? Am I extraordinary because I'm dating an Egyptian man? And in what fashion did I start a relationship? I met a guy who is a mutual friend of a girl I went to college with. Now does that sound so strange?

Would I do this in my own country? What do you mean by that?? Fall in love? Have a long distance relationship in America? What is the big deal with what the country is? 

Now I think I'll go get some aspirin...my head is hurting from banging it against a wall.


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## Sam

Highvoltagehair,

The way I see it... Marry the guy, live in Egypt and come back in 5 years time and tell us how it is. But personally, I think we'd see the results in only 2.

Everyone always thinks they are the exception to the rule, nobody has proved themselves right so far.


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## expatagogo

I saw many, many successful Egyptian/foreigner marriages - IN EGYPT. I also met a good dozen western (almost all American) women while I lived in Egypt that brought their Egyptian husbands home. NONE of those relationships are still viable; they are either divorced or have a divorce in process. NONE of those Egyptian men have returned to Egypt for a anything more than a vacation. 

Without question, the successful marriages did not include a visa.


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## expatagogo

bat said:


> Ok 20 something years. But our relation ship in no way started like most I see on here and my husband wonders himself how girls can't see past it, and no way would I let my son or daughters start a relation ship like that in this fashion. We are ordinary people going about ordinary lives. Would you do this in your own country?


Twenty years ago the economic situation in Egypt was not nearly as dire as it is now. 

Twenty years ago Egyptians could get visas to travel. 

Twenty years ago it was not as financially difficult to get married. 

Twenty years ago Egypt hadn't undergone its "Islamic Revolution". 

Twenty years ago Egypt was a major player, particularly in the Arab world. 

That was an entire generation ago.


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## bat

expatagogo said:


> Twenty years ago the economic situation in Egypt was not nearly as dire as it is now.
> 
> Twenty years ago Egyptians could get visas to travel.
> 
> Twenty years ago it was not as financially difficult to get married.
> 
> Twenty years ago Egypt hadn't undergone its "Islamic Revolution".
> 
> Twenty years ago Egypt was a major player, particularly in the Arab world.
> 
> That was an entire generation ago.


Yes but 20 yrs on still here still same problems day to day still Islamic , developing country, poor still in dire poverty, marriage rules still the same. Hair still the same.


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## jojo

I'm still reeling from the fact that regardless of nationality women, grown women can "fall in love" with someone they hardly know! It reminds me of how I used to feel about Donny Osmond!! I loved him. I read everything about him, he wrote songs for me, sang to me infront of thousands, I wrote to him and he wrote back and I would have married him if he'd asked! 

Sorry if that sounds unkind, but this is what it reminds me of

Jo xxx


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## Horus

jojo said:


> I'm still reeling from the fact that regardless of nationality women, grown women can "fall in love" with someone they hardly know! It reminds me of how I used to feel about Donny Osmond!! I loved him. I read everything about him, he wrote songs for me, sang to me infront of thousands, I wrote to him and he wrote back and I would have married him if he'd asked!
> 
> Sorry if that sounds unkind, but this is what it reminds me of
> 
> Jo xxx


True.

I have known my wife however for 20 years, 17 of those years were absolute bliss what I did not mention is she is not English (not Egyptian) but we met through writing to each other in a personal add.

We wrote for a while and met up 1 month later she was pregnant, we did not get married however for a while however at the time her UK citizenship status was under review.

In case anyone thinks she did it to trap me it was actually myself who was careless on purpose and I have no regrets and we were ecstatic to see the blue line and I got cracking ASAP to get the baby room sorted!


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## bat

jojo said:


> I'm still reeling from the fact that regardless of nationality women, grown women can "fall in love" with someone they hardly know! It reminds me of how I used to feel about Donny Osmond!! I loved him. I read everything about him, he wrote songs for me, sang to me infront of thousands, I wrote to him and he wrote back and I would have married him if he'd asked!
> 
> Sorry if that sounds unkind, but this is what it reminds me of
> 
> Jo xxx


No I think he asked me first, but rejected him for David Cassidy .
Not sure if your talking about the foreign woman or Egyptian ones as that's how the majority of Egyptian woman get married.


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## jojo

bat said:


> No I think he asked me first, but rejected him for David Cassidy .
> Not sure if your talking about the foreign woman or Egyptian ones as that's how the majority of Egyptian woman get married.


Yes, I had a bit of a thing going for David, but he was a bit too old for me lol   I didnt let Donny know tho!!!

I was referring to western women who have western cultures and upbringings "falling in love" with men they dont know. I dont suppose Egyptian women really "love" their men, but its their culture and I'm sure that within their own culture love and commitment grows

Jo xxx


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## missirish

wow .. way to go women.. try make me feel stupid for the online relationship as well as falling for egyptian ... I wonder about what u mean about falling for someone u have never met?? my cousin, she fell in love with american online and didnt meet him for 2 years , she is married to him and now they live in the states....They have a very close relationship.. i asked her how she could possibly fall in love with someone she never met at the time and she told me that she fell in love with his personality first and after that looks meant little.. she got to know him first on the inside, got to know what kind of person he was. She said she found their online relationship very intense and admits it was probably because she couldnt be near him but she says when she finally did get to be near him she never looked back ..Online relationships can work out and i totally disagree with the fact that you cannot love someone online.. and if when u meet u find that they are the same person as they are online , what is the problem?? You can tell me about the egyption men no problem.. but u cant turn this into a debate on whether online relationships work because i have seen them work first hand.. 

So if u have feelings for someone who u speak to online, what are these feelings?? imaginary feelings?

As for the eyptian man, i deleted him and it felt like the wrong thing to do at the time.. i had more doubt doing that than i did in him after reading the forums.. he says if he doesnt get the visa he will pay for me to come over and says im not to be spending my money on him because kids need it.. I dont know 
about him as i dont know about any man even if i met him in my own country..
but ill give him the chance.. oh he also gave me permission to email his old western boss (from germany) to find out from him what he thinks of him.. i did and his boss had nothing but good to say about him.. Told me he is unlike anyone he has every met, western or egyption.. He said he is kind, gentle and there is no harm in him..He told me that he single handedly prevented another employee (who would come in drunk) from getting fired.. he took on his work load and didnt tell anyone, but the boss saw him do all the work. called him into the office where he proceed to ask the boss not to fire him and to give him a chance that he would make sure he turned into work if he did. (the lazy man was indian and was sending money home ) My egyption didnt tell me this.. His western boss told me.. and not fake email either.. i allowed for fake email addresses and went directly to his facebook page which i know is authentic..
im not standing up for him im just merely saying that i should at least meet him to see.


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## MaidenScotland

We answered you choose not to heed and will do what you want... 

this too is done to death... no one wants to hear what we have to say ,


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