# Wanting to go back to England



## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

Hi,

I came here ten years ago and was married to an American - we have since divorced. 

My adult son and I would like to return to England as soon as possible but we are not sure how to go about it as we have nowhere to go in England as my father does not have room for us - so we don't know how to proceed. 

Any help and advice would be very much appreciated. 

Thank you.


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## rifleman (Jun 24, 2011)

Anna01 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I came here ten years ago and was married to an American - we have since divorced.
> 
> ...


If you do not have the money to fly to the UK you may get assistance from the British Embassy, but if so you would be expected to repay any costs.

If you go to the local authority where you have a local connection they can help you claim housing benefit if you need help paying for somewhere to live.

In all likelyhood you will have to find somewhere to live yourself though. As you are both adults you will be expected to sort your own lives out.


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

Anna01 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I came here ten years ago and was married to an American - we have since divorced.
> 
> ...


You'll have to find somewhere else to live then won't you? ...... is this so difficult to figure out?


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## Lesley72 (Sep 13, 2010)

Firstly Anna I am sorry things didn't work out for you here.
I would think the local housing authority in the area you are looking to live will be a good place to start with regard to housing. Once you have that sorted it will be a case of get the ticket and head on home..
Good luck I hope it works out for you.


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

I am sure you know that local authority housing is at a premium and as you are both adults I would imagine you are at the bottom of the list. Private renting would be your best option, check out craiglist and gumtree for property in your chosen area. I presume your son holds a UK passport?


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## rifleman (Jun 24, 2011)

Lesley72 said:


> Firstly Anna I am sorry things didn't work out for you here.
> I would think the local housing authority in the area you are looking to live will be a good place to start with regard to housing. Once you have that sorted it will be a case of get the ticket and head on home..
> Good luck I hope it works out for you.


The local authority won't be interested until you are in thier area. You won't be able to sort anything out while you are in the US.


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## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

Anna01 said:


> Hi,
> 
> I came here ten years ago and was married to an American - we have since divorced.
> 
> ...


Do both of you have British passports? If your ex-husband has to pay spousal support this will follow you to the UK. Do you and your son have job skills you can apply in the UK?
This is a Forum for those wanting to move to the US so you will unfortunately not find a lot of answers here. Personally I suggest contacting friends, saving up in the US and reaching out to the appropriate agencies in the UK get information if and for what support you might be eligible for.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

rifleman said:


> If you do not have the money to fly to the UK you may get assistance from the British Embassy, but if so you would be expected to repay any costs.
> 
> If you go to the local authority where you have a local connection they can help you claim housing benefit if you need help paying for somewhere to live.
> 
> In all likelyhood you will have to find somewhere to live yourself though. As you are both adults you will be expected to sort your own lives out.



With the sale of this place we should have enough for the flight.

It is the accommodation side of it which worries me when we get there.

This is part of trying to sort our own lives out - I just need some pointers / suggestions etc., things I might not have thought of myself which is why I have reached out here.

I will contact the British Embassy and see what if any help / advice they can give me - I did look at their site but did not find anything directly concerning Brits wanting to return home - so I will try their contact form - thank you.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

Crawford said:


> You'll have to find somewhere else to live then won't you? ...... is this so difficult to figure out?


No it wasn't - but I was looking for some good pointers / suggestions etc., which I might not have thought of myself - thank you.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

Lesley72 said:


> Firstly Anna I am sorry things didn't work out for you here.
> I would think the local housing authority in the area you are looking to live will be a good place to start with regard to housing. Once you have that sorted it will be a case of get the ticket and head on home..
> Good luck I hope it works out for you.


Thank you Lesley - in hindsight it was a very bad discussion. Now here we are ten years down the line having to start / rebuild our lives again - this time with a lot less than we came here with and it is daunting.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

MaidenScotland said:


> I am sure you know that local authority housing is at a premium and as you are both adults I would imagine you are at the bottom of the list. Private renting would be your best option, check out craiglist and gumtree for property in your chosen area. I presume your son holds a UK passport?


Yes and this is what bothers me - I know it is going to be an up hill struggle but not as bad as the one we would face if we tried to stay here.

Gumtree - looks hopeful - thank you.

If we could fly back - get some temporary accommodation be it cheap B&B or something we could sort something out from it.

The most I am going to be able to get for my small place looks like $10,000 ( minus a large chunk for the flight ) so it does not give me much to play with - then with the exchange rate :-(


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

twostep said:


> Do both of you have British passports? If your ex-husband has to pay spousal support this will follow you to the UK. Do you and your son have job skills you can apply in the UK?
> This is a Forum for those wanting to move to the US so you will unfortunately not find a lot of answers here. Personally I suggest contacting friends, saving up in the US and reaching out to the appropriate agencies in the UK get information if and for what support you might be eligible for.


Yes both of us have valid British passports. No my ex-husband is not paying spousal support - if I went after it he would fight me over the roof over our heads. My son at the time was in therapy for his suicide attempt - I was not in the best position to argue over things.

Apart from my father there is no-one in the UK we are in touch with anymore. Staying here is not an option as I can no longer afford to keep this place going - all my savings have gone everything - I am down to selling everything I can.

We will work at anything - whatever it takes.

Suggestions on the agencies please - thanks. 

I will also change forum.


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

Anna01 said:


> Yes and this is what bothers me - I know it is going to be an up hill struggle but not as bad as the one we would face if we tried to stay here.
> 
> Gumtree - looks hopeful - thank you.
> 
> ...




Do not exchange your money through the bank go for a broker who will give you a better rate and will not charge commission. I use Currencies Direct.
If you are coming back I would suggest you live in a city or large town as this will give you a better chance of work although I am sure you know that unemployment in the UK is high. Could you not move to another town in America>

Best of luck

Maiden


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## mamasue (Oct 7, 2008)

Anna....I know it's not ideal... but how about going to your dad's... even sleeping on his floor for a few days, going straight to the local housing authority, and asking for emergency housing?
I've never done it so I'm going by what a good friend did when she left Egypt in the same situation.
I also like Maiden's idea...the US is a big country... there's lots of other places to go, if you just want to get away. The UK's crowded, cold, and unemployment is as bad as the US.
Good luck in whatever you do..... it's never easy making a new start... but it's usually possible!!


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

MaidenScotland said:


> Do not exchange your money through the bank go for a broker who will give you a better rate and will not charge commission. I use Currencies Direct.
> If you are coming back I would suggest you live in a city or large town as this will give you a better chance of work although I am sure you know that unemployment in the UK is high. Could you not move to another town in America>
> 
> Best of luck
> ...


Thank you Maiden.

Another town in America I don't think is an option…

For more possible help / advice / suggestions etc., here is the whole story…

Came to America ten years ago and got married.
Husband left us five times in those ten years - the fifth being the last - yes I should have made the first time the last - hindsight / stupidly. 
A stay at home wife and mother - have never worked in the US and do not drive.
Ex-husband worked for Ford - took a buyout - bought a mobile home which is now mine.

Son attended school here but did not get his GED - working on it at home now.
He worked at the nearby gas station for a year or more sometimes seven days a week and would fill in whenever necessary - over that time he had had three days off sick - the forth time he was off sick he was sacked. 

Ex- husband never really embraced him as a son. 
He didn't want to teach him to drive as it would mean another car…
But it would hopefully have meant a job with which the car could have been paid for.

Mentally I did not see what was happening to my son and I blame myself terribly for that. 

Four days after he walked his little sister along the red carpet to the archway where she was married he attempted suicide - I got him into therapy right away.

His little sister my daughter has gone off into the sunset with her American husband - his family / baby and forgotten all about us.

We have no income.
We don't drive.
My son has put job applications in (again) to all the places within walking distance but to no avail.
He does get food stamps.
No medical insurance come February 1st - I am a diabetic - type 2
Selling everything I can to try and stay afloat until I can get this place sold.
We can't afford to stay and it scares the heck out of me as to what we will do when it does sell.

Yes I know some of this is my own fault - but I can't turn the clock back - what I can do is learn from it.

What I would most appreciate is help / advice / suggestions etc.
____________

If we stay here we would need to find a place on a bus route to get to jobs shops etc., which I don't really see as much of an option.

Going back to the UK scares the heck out of me as there is not much I can do this end before getting on the plane!
Looking for a place when we get there - what amount of rent should I be looking for to be covered by housing benefit?
Is it better to go furnished or unfurnished? 
If it was unfurnished - where would be the best places to get stuff as we would only arrive with our personal processions? 

Yes I'm stressed and worried sick.

My father's place is 'housing association' - living in Stratford Upon Avon (which is where I would like us to go) on his pension - he is eighty-five.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

mamasue said:


> Anna....I know it's not ideal... but how about going to your dad's... even sleeping on his floor for a few days, going straight to the local housing authority, and asking for emergency housing?
> I've never done it so I'm going by what a good friend did when she left Egypt in the same situation.
> I also like Maiden's idea...the US is a big country... there's lots of other places to go, if you just want to get away. The UK's crowded, cold, and unemployment is as bad as the US.
> Good luck in whatever you do..... it's never easy making a new start... but it's usually possible!!


Thank you mamasue.

Please see the reply I have made to Maiden.


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

I really do not know what to suggest.. I can understand you wanting to go home, in times of trouble home is where we all want to go but the UK has very little to offer. You will not be top of any housing list and chances are you wont even get on it. I don't think any local council needs to house you as you will be classed as making yourself homeless by leaving the USA and you have no dependents. You need to rent privately and most are rented out as furnished although that might just be carpets and curtains. Most towns have turnaround help, giving out donated furniture to those in need. You will not be entitled to housing benefits if you have savings above a certain amount. 
You will get very little if any help from the embassy as that is not what it is there for.


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

Sorry but why can you not turn to your daughter to help out?


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## Johanna (Apr 13, 2009)

Anna01 said:


> - get some temporary accommodation be it cheap B&B or something we could sort something out from it.
> (


 Anna01, not sure how "cheap" you consider bed and breakfasts, but they do not at a very cheap rate.

We spent about four weeks in the UK , found B&B's more expensive than Premium Inn hotels.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

MaidenScotland said:


> Sorry but why can you not turn to your daughter to help out?


My daughter moved in to help out but the financial side of it only lasted three months.

Her and her husband were working a seasonal job at the amusement park - they had their baby and the seasonal job ended.

He (the husband) stayed up all night on the internet - they both slept most of the day and stayed in their room.

Everything then fell on me. I was already coping with the extra food over and above the food stamps my son was getting.

It drained what savings I had.

When I put the place up for sale - they left - putting a lot of their stuff in storage.

They are staying at friends I believe not that she has been in touch since she left.

When the amusement park opens again he will go back there to work - he wants my daughter to stay at home with the baby.

So to be honest it does not look like they care.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

Johanna said:


> Anna01, not sure how "cheap" you consider bed and breakfasts, but they do not at a very cheap rate.
> 
> We spent about four weeks in the UK , found B&B's more expensive than Premium Inn hotels.


My thoughts were for something inexpensive whatever it be so it didn't eat too much into what money I had.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

MaidenScotland said:


> I really do not know what to suggest.. I can understand you wanting to go home, in times of trouble home is where we all want to go but the UK has very little to offer. You will not be top of any housing list and chances are you wont even get on it. I don't think any local council needs to house you as you will be classed as making yourself homeless by leaving the USA and you have no dependents. You need to rent privately and most are rented out as furnished although that might just be carpets and curtains. Most towns have turnaround help, giving out donated furniture to those in need. You will not be entitled to housing benefits if you have savings above a certain amount.
> You will get very little if any help from the embassy as that is not what it is there for.


I know but right now I am at my wits end not knowing what to do.

I am trying to seek out help / advice etc., but I am feeling so alone as right now I am not getting anywhere and I don't know who to turn to.


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## Davis1 (Feb 20, 2009)

Stratford-on-Avon District Council: Advice and Benefits


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## mamasue (Oct 7, 2008)

Anna... is bunking down with dad for a short time really not an option... until you can sort yourselves out??
Another thought... are you a LPR, or a USC?
If you're not a USC, it might be worth becoming one, so you won't be seen to be abandoning your LPR status.
You never know... you just might want to return one day....I believe in keeping all options open!!


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

Davis1 said:


> Stratford-on-Avon District Council: Advice and Benefits


Thank you!


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

mamasue said:


> Anna... is bunking down with dad for a short time really not an option... until you can sort yourselves out??
> Another thought... are you a LPR, or a USC?
> If you're not a USC, it might be worth becoming one, so you won't be seen to be abandoning your LPR status.
> You never know... you just might want to return one day....I believe in keeping all options open!!


No it is not really an option. He is not in the best of health - the place is small and he stresses very quickly it wouldn't be fair to him.

My son and I have to make it somehow.

We are LPR's - yes the USC is a good idea but I only have until the end of January before everything caves in - meaning I am out of money - I have a buyer...

We either take the money from selling this place - $10,000 - less by the time I have settled up on electric etc., get on a plane and take our chances or…

Get an apartment on a bus route - (remember we both don't drive) and hope to find work before the money runs out. 

To say I am at my wits end is an understatement.


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## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

All we can do at this point is to wish you and your son better luck in the UK.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

twostep said:


> All we can do at this point is to wish you and your son better luck in the UK.


Thank you - it is a sad end to ten years of our lives.


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## Swou (Jan 1, 2012)

Anna, everything happens for a reason, you live and you learn. It's not an end, but a new beginning. I hope things work out for you and your boy. Stay positive for him (and yourself), I'm sure you'll find a solution. God bless


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## Guest (Jan 1, 2012)

Not exactly the American dream, was it?

My advice - get back to the UK so you have some semblance of a support network. Sell your trailer -arrange the closing of the sale and get the money in your hands a day or two before your departure, and arrange that your last day in the trailer is your departure day to save on hotel costs.

Just before you leave, load up on your medicines using the remains of your insurance. That will give you enough meds to get you through the month of February in the UK.

Buy your airline tickets first, and NOW, to get the cheap prices for advance purchase. Then buy your Greyhound bus tickets. Then clean and pack.

Don't know where you live, but here is one way to get back to the UK for less
:
(if you live in the Detroit area - take a Greyhound bus from Detroit, MI to New York City Port Authority: (Greyhound's telephone number is 800-231-2222) buy your bus ticket using the companion fare (50% discount for him) for your son = $88 + $44 = $132 to NYC. There are many departures every day - example , a bus leaves Detroit on 24 January at 9:40pm and arrives at the New York Port Authority bus terminal at 11:15 am the next morning (you save one night's cost of a hotel this way) - watch your things and your money during your trip and take turns sleeping, thieves abound.

Take the train from the Port Authority to Kennedy airport - cost is $7.25 each and the train trip takes about an hour or so.

On Cheapoair "dot" com, they have one way, non-stop flights on Iberia for 25 January at US$331 each. (Cheapoair's toll free number is 888-516-3050) One flight departs JF Kennedy airport in New York on 25 January at 10:55pm and arrives in London at 10:40 am the following morning (saving you another night's hotel). That leaves you enough time to get out of London and to Stratford upon Avon that afternoon, and crash on Papa's floor that night.

If you do get US$10k in your hands from the sale, total travel costs are US$810 for the two of you, plus any meals (pack a bag with things to eat during your trip to cut out the expensive meals in bus stations and airports). That should leave you with a bit more than £5000 in your pocket to restart your lives in the UK.

Good luck to you.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

Swou said:


> Anna, everything happens for a reason, you live and you learn. It's not an end, but a new beginning. I hope things work out for you and your boy. Stay positive for him (and yourself), I'm sure you'll find a solution. God bless


Hi Swou,

I have learnt a lot and felt so much heartache - this I know is going to go with me and I will need time to work through it from the inside out. Filling the void will not be easy.

I am trying to look at it as a new beginning but doing it scares the heck out of me.

My son is my strength right now - all I want to do is see him settled and happy.

Thank you so much.


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

GringoCArlos said:


> Not exactly the American dream, was it?
> 
> My advice - get back to the UK so you have some semblance of a support network. Sell your trailer -arrange the closing of the sale and get the money in your hands a day or two before your departure, and arrange that your last day in the trailer is your departure day to save on hotel costs.
> 
> ...


Hi GringoCArlos,

No it sure wasn't!

The possible buyer for the trailer is having a problem or two raising the money due to his divorce but hopes to be able to come through for me.

(I am so not getting married again!)

Yes have loaded up on meds.

We live in Independence and will hopefully be able to get a lift to the airport.

Oh wow just had a look at the ticket prices - that is sure the way to go.

In London we may take the coach to Reading then the train to Stratford Upon Avon - but I will check on prices etc., first.

Thank you so much for taking the time to put all that together for me.


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## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

Anna - your life may (or may not) have been difficult but this is a platform for potential immigrants to the US to ask questions, exchange ideas and share experiences. Thank you!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

I thought I'd just add that some excellent advise was given to you on the post you posted on our "British forum" by our very knowledgeable moderator, Joppa which you should follow




Joppa said:


> I have been following the discussion on the US forum where you posted your message originally.
> 
> As some have suggested, you may get help from the local authority where you eventually settle towards housing cost - housing and council tax benefit. As British citizens, all you need is to pass habitual residence test, which hasn't a prescrbed set of rules but is designed to determine whether you are ordinarily resident in UK. It concerns your centre of interest, your intention and circumstances of your residence.
> Read http://www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/dmgch0703.pdf
> ...



Be tough, face the strain and good luck with it all, I hope things work out for you

Jo xxx


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## emmbritt123 (Mar 18, 2012)

I feel bad for you. I am doing the same thing as you. Going back to England. I am 60 years old now having lived here for 31 years in Phoenix, AZ. Lost my job a year ago and feel to beat to try anymore over here. What I will do is go back and get to a homeless shelter, which will be horrible, then get on the council list. One day at a time, eh? It will be daunting, but worth it in the end. America is a hard place to live. It's wonderful if you are rich, but not so if you are poor. Good luck, my dear!


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## emmbritt123 (Mar 18, 2012)

Wow, I took the number down of Cheapoair. I will call them when I am ready to go....you gave some good advice there! Thanks!




Anna01 said:


> Hi GringoCArlos,
> 
> No it sure wasn't!
> 
> ...


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## Anna01 (Dec 24, 2011)

emmbritt123 said:


> I feel bad for you. I am doing the same thing as you. Going back to England. I am 60 years old now having lived here for 31 years in Phoenix, AZ. Lost my job a year ago and feel to beat to try anymore over here. What I will do is go back and get to a homeless shelter, which will be horrible, then get on the council list. One day at a time, eh? It will be daunting, but worth it in the end. America is a hard place to live. It's wonderful if you are rich, but not so if you are poor. Good luck, my dear!


Hi emmbritt123

Thank you for your reply. Having just done this move myself I can certainly offer you some suggestions and point you in the right direction for some help. Where in the UK are you thinking of moving to? We are in Stratford-Upon-Avon, Warwickshire. If you like I will do what I can to give you any info you may want / need so please ask also feel free to message me anytime.


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## emmbritt123 (Mar 18, 2012)

Anna01 said:


> Hi emmbritt123
> 
> Thank you for your reply. Having just done this move myself I can certainly offer you some suggestions and point you in the right direction for some help. Where in the UK are you thinking of moving to? We are in Stratford-Upon-Avon, Warwickshire. If you like I will do what I can to give you any info you may want / need so please ask also feel free to message me anytime.


I have tons of family in Gloucester, not far from Stratford. But I lived most of my life in London. How do you feel now you are back home? Do you like it better than here? Please send me any nuggets of information you think I might find useful, no matter how random they may seem. Did you find a job? How did you adjust after life here? I came out of a rotten marriage here too!


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