# what to provide domestic staff for lunch



## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

Well, I made it to Mérida on a RT visa. I'm house and dog sitting for the summer and will get my own place in the fall. I have a question I don't want to post on the Yolisto forum for expats in the Yucatán because it is such a small community.

Anyway, this couple is quite fussy about the housekeeping and is paying for their housekeeper to come while I am watching the house. The woman comes every two weeks and her payment arrangement is with my hosts. All I have to do is make sure she does her work, hand her the pesos my host left, and give her lunch. I'm not sure what that entails.

My host just leaves a sandwich. That doesn't seem right to me since it's my understanding that lunch is the biggest meal of the day here. But as per research I've done, the cleaner is paid very well and is reimbursed for transportation, so I'm guessing my host sees "lunch" as just a snack and expects her cleaner to get a proper meal when she leaves. I'll likely look for my own help when I get my own place so I want to make sure I do the right thing...

Thanks,

Rae


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

You are not in your house so do what the owner arranged.
As for yourself talk to your help and see what they want to do , she may appreciate going home to prepare the meal for her family rather than eating at your house.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

Thanks. My host doesn't always provide the same thing or even anything at all and told me that it's up to me what I want to have available.

I agree that talking to my own help will be the thing to do, but it would be a good idea to know the average norm so that I'm not taken advantage of when I make an offer of employment.


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

I think a sandwich is appropriate. She may delay comida until she gets home. If she leaves during the middle of the day, it opens up opportunity for abuse. The comida break can get longer and longer and it is harder to reset it, than it is to not start it in the first place.

I have a handy man who was working with me a few days a week for a couple of years. When he started, his wife would come by with a sandwich every day around noon. Then he started going home for lunch every day. It meant that he worked about 45 minutes less, but he was good about keeping the lunch break to exactly one hour and I had no complaints.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

"I think a sandwich is appropriate."

Okay, thanks. I'll make sure to have Coke, instant coffee, and maybe some cookies available too.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

I do not offer anything to my help. The gardener buys what he wants on his break and my cleaning lady wants to get her work done and get out. If she is thirsty she knows she can help herself with what we have in the fridge..
People doing projects at the house bring their lunch and have lunch in the garden or go home.
It really all depends on the hours your people work and you can decide that.
Whatever you feel comfortable with make it a rule on the first day and make clear what the rule is.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

Thanks for that insight. This is very new to me.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

treat people like you would like to be treated. Set the rules , be clear about what you expect, what you pay and what is included or not and do not feel guilty because someone is working for you . It is a job like any other job . 
Most of the women cleaning houses have their own families to take care of so sometimes they rather have time off earlier than sandwiches which most Mexicans I know do not eat,, Have lemonade or coke , fruit ,cheese and tortillas available if they want to make a snack


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## surabi (Jan 1, 2017)

I have never provided lunch to my maid, who works 4 hours every 2 weeks. She eats before she comes, then has to get back to her family. I offer her juice, fruit, or whatever. She usually brings a bottle of water. My handyman, who unfortunately moved away, always brought his own lunch when he worked a full day, as well as a large thermos of water. He was so sweet- he always brought something for me as well- if he had a fruit bar, he'd bring two, one for me. 
Lots of guys, though, show up to work with nothing. They usually go to the store and buy a bag of chips and a coke. I'm not fond of, nor hire again, the ones who don't even bring a jug of water. Not that I mind giving them water, I just feel they should be a little more self-sufficient. I raised 3 kids on my own and don't need to be looking after the basic needs of adults I pay to work for me. Just my take.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

I spend a lot of time in communities in Chiapas where people make 100 pesos a day and at that rate food is provided, it all depends on the pay rate and the understanding you have with people..


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

For a couple of years, I had a handy man coming in three days a week to help me with rewiring and repainting. After work most afternoons, we would split a caguama (1.2 liter beer) and play dominos. I provided the beer. We still get together once a week or so for beer and chess now, but he is not working for me regularly anymore.


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## horseshoe846 (Feb 8, 2017)

When we bought the house we inherited a 'gardener'. Over 18 years or so we were owner number 3. This gardener worked here for 18 years. He knew where all the bodies were buried. Both the previous owners were very seldom here and this guy just kind of did whatever he thought was needed. When we first met with him I said - I actually like to mow my own lawn (for exercise) - and I also like to sweep the pool (for mental health). This is a short term relationship. Anyway - we treated this guy VERY well - even pre-paying him on the first visit of the month for the entire month. He would come one day a week (and he pretty much always showed up on time). We would set a plate for him at our (outside) table when we had lunch - he ate whatever we were eating. Over time we started to phase out the relationship. The first thing we did was stop eating lunch together (providing lunch). Then we stopped pre-paying for the month. Then we changed it to bi-weekly visits. Finally he confronted us and said he no longer liked the work. We thought he had come to feel entitled - almost like WE were interim owners.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

You have to look at the workers as any employees you may have had in the past . You are the boss not their friends. You can be in friendly term but you should never forget your position or theirs.. This is a class society and it is how it works.. You will be invited to their family fiestas and will be put at a separate table out of respect and so on. breaking those barriers is a mistake, it sends the wrong signals.

Our present gardner has been working on the property since 1968. When bought the house we hired him..did not have too as the previous owner did pay the severance.. We hired him and he had been working for Americans, since 68. It took me a year to get him to act as the gardener and not do whatever he wanted when he wanted..
One day he showed up late and drunk.. I told him to go home and did not pay him for that day.. He had a fit.. I told him sorry you do not work drunk and you do not get paid if your are drunk. 
If you want to work here follow the rules if not you can find another job it is up to you.
He threaten to leave a few times and we had a few battles and he straightened out and now does not miss a day never show up drunk and is always on time. But we had a rough first year with him.

It is a question of management and good communication, some people will test the limits and will fall in the fold ..or not and if not the sooner they go the better for everyone.

Yes we are the interim owners but are all interim on earth so no big deal..


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

"This is a class society and it is how it works."

That is something I am going to to really struggle with here. In Canada, I am used to being the menial worker. I identify more with the Mexican gardener or the maid than I ever could with most expats I've met who can afford to hire a gardener or maid. It's a huge shift in my consciousness and how I view my place in the world to know that in the fall, when I rent my own place, I will likely be able to afford a maid. I have been a manager, but the relationship was much more equal than is that of having household staff.


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## surabi (Jan 1, 2017)

citlali said:


> I spend a lot of time in communities in Chiapas where people make 100 pesos a day and at that rate food is provided, it all depends on the pay rate and the understanding you have with people..


I totally agree with that. Happens that in the area I live, the going rate thesed ays for maids, gardeners, handymen is minimum 70 pesos/hour, not 100/day.

In areas where the wage is so low, maybe the workers would appreciate being paid more rather than being fed by the employer?


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## horseshoe846 (Feb 8, 2017)

travelingrae said:


> "This is a class society and it is how it works."
> 
> That is something I am going to to really struggle with here. In Canada, I am used to being the menial worker. I identify more with the Mexican gardener or the maid than I ever could with most expats I've met who can afford to hire a gardener or maid. It's a huge shift in my consciousness and how I view my place in the world to know that in the fall, when I rent my own place, I will likely be able to afford a maid. I have been a manager, but the relationship was much more equal than is that of having household staff.


I have never been comfortable with having someone do something for me which I could do myself. Even when I was earning a decent 6 figure income I mowed my own lawn - of course as I mowed the lawn I 'dreamed' of the day when I would be so well off I would laugh of those days - but I am still mowing my own lawn...

I have two sets of clothes - work and 'play'. My work clothes have holes all over the place. When I visit the local ferrateria I wear my work clothes. I don't think anyone would ever consider robbing me dressed that way.

We had a maid for about two weeks (over 35 years) when we lived in Austin Texas and started seeing things 'disappear'.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

horseshoe846 said:


> I have never been comfortable with having someone do something for me which I could do myself.


Me neither to a point, but I've reached that place in my life where I really can't do it all alone anymore. I don't have time to take care of a house and run my business at the same time. Just as I'm finally considering getting someone to help me with the bookkeeping, I'm considering getting someone to help me with the housework. That will give me time to actually enjoy my life here. I think it's very different when you are a couple and can share the work around the house.


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## horseshoe846 (Feb 8, 2017)

travelingrae said:


> Me neither to a point, but I've reached that place in my life where I really can't do it all alone anymore. I don't have time to take care of a house and run my business at the same time. Just as I'm finally considering getting someone to help me with the bookkeeping, I'm considering getting someone to help me with the housework. That will give me time to actually enjoy my life here. I think it's very different when you are a couple and can share the work around the house.


But that is what weekends are for.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

horseshoe846 said:


> But that is what weekends are for.


What is a "weekend"?


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

Do you think that people in Canada and in the State look at everyone is happy happy and equal to everyone else? 
I bet the cleaning ladies in the Trump household do not eat lunch with Melania and the Donald.. and neither did they have lunch with us at work, neither does the manager have lunch with the clerks and so on.. People associate according to their interests which are often linked to their position in the society.. It does not mean that one group looks down at the other , they have different interests , different priorities etc.. so there is a whole less difference than you think.

I had people working for me at work and had help when I went home so I do not see a whole lot of difference here, actually I now do my own typing and it shows..I do not feel inferior if I work for someone or superior because someone works for me it is just the way to goes.

Having a cleaning lady or a gardener is giving work and money to a family so why should you feel guilty?


I do not know if people making 100 pesos a day in Chiapas in those indigenous communities would rather have the 33 pesos that the lunch costs, my guess is no, they want their break and time to socialize. It is how that society works changing ways in a culture is sometimes not a great idea...

I say 33 cents because I am going to have to figure out how much to budget to feed 15 people..for 2 weeks and one of the village women there told me figure 1000 pesos for 2 days for 15 people..
By the way in my Chiapas example they are all poor, poor indigenous hire people to help split wood or work on a house. Then the ones that were the bosses may get hired to work for the same rate and then it is their turn to eat at a separate table..


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## horseshoe846 (Feb 8, 2017)

Well here is a recent real live experience.

We are now three days into digging up our backyard to understand the septic system. Day 1 the plumber (jefe) dropped off his worker and left shortly thereafter only to return about 2PM to eat his hour long lunch. We had agreed to 350-400 pesos per day (for two people), yet he asked for 600 pesos. We gave him 500. Yesterday he and his worker worked a full day and we paid him 500 pesos. Today he showed up at 9AM to drop off the 'worker' and said he would return at 2PM. I told him not to bother. He said he would be here and work the entire day tomorrow - if so I will pay him 300 pesos for the guy today - and 500 pesos if they both work all day tomorrow.

We do have an engineer coming buy in the morning to evaluate what is being done..


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

oh I hate the plumbers having to dig to find things out.. I say they should have peones do it and therefore cost less they say they have to do it to see exactly what is going on and usually the peon does the digging and the plumber very little and I always thinks I was cheated because I pay plumber rate to dig something out..
I try to pay the plumber by the job rather than by the day but it is not always easy , like in your case.. Until you know what is going on it is hard to estimate how much it should cost..
In those cases you have to be right there with them to see what is going on and it is a pain..Good luck


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## Anonimo (Apr 8, 2012)

Our cleaning staff consists of a divorced mother and her 22 year old daughter. They live 3-4 houses down the street from us. They work for us about 6 hours, once a week.

I like to cook, and so I enjoy providing a tasty meal for them. We always provide an agua fresca (fresh fruit ade) for them to drink during their working time.

When they finish, and we pay them, I tell them what's the comida (dinner) to carry out. It usually is a salad; sometimes a soup, plus a main dish that they can reheat at home.

They appreciate these takeout meals and I enjoy making them.

Tomorrow's dinner (comida) will be cucumber salad, tuna noodle casserole. I only occasionally provide dessert.

I must mention that we usually have the same food that we give them.

From time to time, they reciprocate and bring us a pot of homemade chicken soup or a mole dish. Until a few years ago, until they moved, la Señora would bring us excellent handmade tortillas.


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## Zorro2017 (Jan 9, 2017)

In Mexico plumbers wear pressed slacks and just point at the things that need to be done. I want to be a plumber in Mexico in my next life.


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## sunnyvmx (Mar 14, 2010)

Typical of expats when they first move here, I thought I had to do my own housecleaning. I was retired, "What else did I have to do?" After that first year I realized that my house wasn't getting cleaned. I would rather be gardening or many other things so I hired my first housecleaner. I still feel the pleasure of entering my clean house after I've enjoyed the tiangis or garden. To think that I can afford this luxury on my SS still amazes me and I'm the envy of friends in the States who thought I was crazy to move to Mexico. If I never again clean my bathroom or mop my floors it will be a fine finish to my life. I still wash my scooter and give Precious a bath and haircut, but those chores I do for personal satisfaction.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

sunnyvmx said:


> Typical of expats when they first move here, I thought I had to do my own housecleaning. I was retired, "What else did I have to do?" .


Ah, my kind of person. I get really annoyed with retired couples with nothing better to do than clean telling me I am lazy because I want a dishwasher, never mind a housecleaner, since I am "just one person." Exactly. I am just one person earning money, just one person doing the shopping, just one person taking care of chores, just one person doing household maintenance. Based on this thread, I could work for two hours to get six hours of housecleaning. That's four hours of time I would gain in my week to go back to school, volunteer, take up a hobby, or even grow my business.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

Just enjoy being lazy travellingrae, we can go to the grave working doing all the things we really do not want to do or just kick back have the machine or someone else do the chores and do what we enjoy doing.. If you like mowing the lawn or do the dishes fine if not why do it'?


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

citlali said:


> Just enjoy being lazy travellingrae,


FYI, I really take offence to being called lazy for choosing to delegate certain tasks. It's not something I find even remotely funny, no matter the tone of the speaker. I work 60+ hours a week at my business, volunteer about 10 hours a week, and then I have housekeeping and maintenance chores on top of that. When I take the odd hour of time off, it's called taking care of myself, not being lazy.


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

The term was used in a sense of enjoying either being idle or doing whatever you wish. It was certainly not meant to be offensive, and I thought that was pretty obvious.
Relax, enjoy & have a very laid back day lazing in the sunshine......
You may also wish to note that the writer is quite capable of answering you in several other languages, and that English is only one of her many talents, in addition to her native language. Since you are Canadian, perhaps you would prefer French, one of your legal languages.


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## circle110 (Jul 20, 2009)

travelingrae said:


> FYI, I really take offence to being called lazy for choosing to delegate certain tasks. It's not something I find even remotely funny, no matter the tone of the speaker. I work 60+ hours a week at my business, volunteer about 10 hours a week, and then I have housekeeping and maintenance chores on top of that. When I take the odd hour of time off, it's called taking care of myself, not being lazy.


Please don't take offense to citali's comment. She has always been a very kind poster and I am sure she meant no offense.

My guess is this -- as Rvgringo mentioned, her native language is French. My French is minimal but I'm guessing there is a word like "flojo" or "flojera" in French. "Flojera" or "flojo" in Spanish doesn't carry the same always negative connotation that 'laziness' or 'lazy' does in English. It can be used almost like we'd use 'relaxed' in English. My wife and I always say "Nos ponemos flojos?" meaning: 'shall we change into our pajamas' in order to mellow out in the nighttime and watch an episode of Better Call Saul or something. Not lazy really, just relaxed after a long day.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

I love being "lazy" in any language. I think of it as taking time for myself to enjoy life.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

Well, I didn't mean to start anything, but I have to respond.

I don't like floja or paresseuse or мързелив either. Please stop to consider that perhaps the person you are teasingly calling a laze-about is actually seriously overwhelmed by her to-do list. In the average demographic of the Mexican expat, just like in the average demographic of the full-time RVing world, which I lived in for almost 10 years, people are retired with a lot of time on their hands and they truly do laze-about -- and have earned it! Just remember that not everyone is in that demographic. I've got at least 20 years to go before mowing the lawn is going to feel a nice break from hanging in the hammock all afternoon with a cold beer.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

I love being lazy in any language as well... interesting how some people see it as an insult,


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

When I worked I had help to do work I did not have the time to do , now I do not work and I still do not have the time so not mowing the lawn, cleaning house or doing dishes is a question of priority in life for me and you can call me lazy and see if I care...


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

citlali said:


> I love being lazy in any language as well... interesting how some people see it as an insult,


Yup, my point was completely missed.

When I get to your average age and have worked 40+ years and retire on a tropical beach, being called lazy will be a badge of honour earned for all that hard work.

But when you're in your thirties with so many responsibilities and someone calls you lazy, you hear them saying, "You're not making enough of an effort." That may not be the spirit intended, but that's how it's received. So again, please consider that your situation is not everyone else's.

It is my dream to become lazy... but there's so much work involved in getting there! :lol:


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

I was thirty a long time ago , that is the age I became VP in a large US company.. There was no time for leisure, it was not a job it was a way of life , I lived in 3 places and had help in the 3 places and my mother who was a stay home mum thought I was the laziest person she had ever known... I did not give a darn, being lazy was my way to recharge my batteries.. for 30 years I did not clean or touch a mower or did anything around the house...now I am retired and I still do not do any of it and am not planning to ever do anything.. just call me lazy and I smile...

Yes you maybe thirty with a lot to do but learn how to relax and kick back whenever you can, it prevents burnout and heart attacks.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

citlali said:


> and my mother who was a stay home mum thought I was the laziest person she had ever known... .


Our mothers must be related! :lol:

I know how to have downtime, I just think that calling that downtime laziness does a disservice because it adds a negative connotation that, again, you're not doing as much as you should be doing. Obviously, my own mother scarred me for life.


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## horseshoe846 (Feb 8, 2017)

I think it is about time that this thread was split and moved into the chat area... It feels like a soap opera to me.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

horseshoe846 said:


> I think it is about time that this thread was split and moved into the chat area... It feels like a soap opera to me.


Yeah, I'm done. Anyway, appreciate the testimonials from folks who currently have or have had staff. I met the housekeeper and it seems like having a sandwich with water, Coke, and fruit or cookies will be welcome since she'll be here for six hours and there's nowhere nearby she can go to grab a snack. Should I get my own housekeeper, I'll be living in Mérida proper and will likely just offer beverages and let the housekeeper nip out to get something for lunch.


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

OK,,,,not lazy, but maybe slightly thin-skinned. It is a rough world out there, but it could be worse; and probably will be.
Enjoy Merida. The summer heat and humidity will make you want to be........well, lazy.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

RVGRINGO said:


> The summer heat and humidity will make you want to be........well, lazy.


It was 40+ degrees plus 100% humidity in Bulgaria most days last summer, I didn't have AC, and I had to walk 12KM roundtrip to get groceries. I can't imagine Mérida will be any worse than that! :attention:


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

travelingrae said:


> It was 40+ degrees plus 100% humidity in Bulgaria most days last summer, I didn't have AC, and I had to walk 12KM roundtrip to get groceries. I can't imagine Mérida will be any worse than that! :attention:


It might be similar. My only visit to Merida was in the winter and it was pretty hot and humid even then.


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## travelingrae (Dec 9, 2016)

TundraGreen said:


> It might be similar. My only visit to Merida was in the winter and it was pretty hot and humid even then.


Highs were around 35 when I was here last February. I have a year of experience living in Mazatlán under my belt as well.


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