# Do you feel that you fit in?



## kyleishere (Aug 1, 2007)

Do you feel that you fit in with the U.K. culture and society? Or, do you feel like an outsider?


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## Penguins_Pet_Pumpkin (Jul 16, 2007)

That's a really funny one to see today. This morning I was actually thinking about how I feel more that I fit in now than I ever have in my life. I guess it's a personal thing, different for everyone, but yeah. I definitely fit in.


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## smcquie (Jun 11, 2007)

Yep. Got myself a Birtish boyfriend and everything!


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## MabelJames (Jan 15, 2008)

i'm moving to London in 3 months time.. Guess time will tell...


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## izzysmum04 (Nov 26, 2007)

*Hi, Mabel! I'll be moving up to London at about the same time. My hubby already lives there during the week with his job in the Royal Marines Commandos. We are just working to get our flat here ready to be put on the market. Once it is sold we will be moving. I am originally from the US, but have lived in South Devon (known around the UK as the Westcountry) for the past 3 years. London is great, so I am sure you will be fine. If you ever need a friend, I'll be around.

Answer to the question though, at first I didn't feel like I fit in at all, but I attribute that much to the fact that I was 5 months pregnant when I moved over, had many hormones running through me and was completely moody and depressed... Now, after over 3 years and making a few wonderful and great Brit and fellow expat (both from the US and France) friends, I would say that I most definitely feel like I fit in.*


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## Akatrin (Nov 17, 2007)

Having been in the country for all of two weeks: so far so good. Most of the people you meet at the supermarkets etc are migrants from non-english backgrounds, so they can't recognise the accents anyway. And I've finally adjusted to the cold!


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## piercarla (Apr 10, 2008)

I think the trick for me to feel at home has been: be myself, be kind and grateful, look at the positive and ignore the negative, do what brings me joy.

Hope it helps!


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## Big Pete (Aug 7, 2007)

kyleishere said:


> Do you feel that you fit in with the U.K. culture and society? Or, do you feel like an outsider?


I used to fit in years ago , but now i feel like a outsider  and i have lived in England 50 years


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

piercarla said:


> I think the trick for me to feel at home has been: be myself, be kind and grateful, look at the positive and ignore the negative, do what brings me joy.
> 
> Hope it helps!


Nicely said.  A positive attitude and a smile goes a very log way in any situation.

-


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## Sati (Apr 23, 2008)

I feel like an outsider in the U.S. in most places. I think it's probably just a matter of finding your people. I need weirdos around me. The normals give me the willies.


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## BankGrad (Jun 5, 2008)

Interesting topic of discussion....I've lived in three Western countries and several developing countries and never quite felt like I fit in anwhere. Not that I'm unhappy about it or anything...it's normal to me. I liked all of the countries that I lived btw and have managed to retain friendships to this day.


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## jlms (May 15, 2008)

Outsider.

I just gave up and gravitated towards a resident minority (Spanish speaking people) .

Brits are far too reserved and frankly I have got only one life time, so I can't wait for them to warm up to foreigners


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

jlms said:


> Outsider.
> 
> I just gave up and gravitated towards a resident minority (Spanish speaking people) . *Muy bien!*
> 
> Brits are far too reserved and frankly I have got only one life time, so I can't wait for them to warm up to foreigners


 Are you serious????  You've obviously not met moi!!


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## jlms (May 15, 2008)

Outsider.

If you dont fit in a pigeon hole you are pretty much in your own. Then you join with other expats, that kind of defeats the purpose to live abroad, but the Brits tend to be too conservative and dont open to foreigners easily.

In other countries it was piece of cake to make new native friends, not so easy in the uk ....


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

jlms said:


> Outsider.
> 
> If you dont fit in a pigeon hole you are pretty much in your own. Then you join with other expats, that kind of defeats the purpose to live abroad, but the Brits tend to be too conservative and dont open to foreigners easily.
> 
> In other countries it was piece of cake to make new native friends, not so easy in the uk ....


Brits are renouned for welcoming people from other countries so I disagree with you on this. Maybe YOU have to make more of an effort to integrate

Try living in Spain; Spaniards are not renouned for letting outsiders into their inner circles, they've also been accused of being racist.

I've lived in 2 foreign countries, I found Spain more difficult to integrate into than the Middle East (UAE). Also, if you don't attempt to speak the language of the country you reside in, you will encounter many obstacles


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## jlms (May 15, 2008)

*Which anecdotal evidnce is better?*



Pasanada said:


> Brits are renouned for welcoming people from other countries so I disagree with you on this. Maybe YOU have to make more of an effort to integrate
> 
> Try living in Spain; Spaniards are not renouned for letting outsiders into their inner circles, they've also been accused of being racist.
> 
> I've lived in 2 foreign countries, I found Spain more difficult to integrate into than the Middle East (UAE). Also, if you don't attempt to speak the language of the country you reside in, you will encounter many obstacles


Yours or mine?

You don't know me but are safely assuming I need to make more effort to integrate. After 10 years living in this country I got tired of making an effort, thanks for the advice anyway.

If Brits are so welcoming how do you explain all the racially segregated areas in most big towns and the constant barrage of anti immigrant sentiment in pretty much all media?

Spaniards can be the same, but in my case I share a language and thus a cultural heritage, which is why I have tended at the end to join with them in the UK. I didn't want to do this, but there is a point when you realize Brits are nor really convinced abut multiculturalism, and now even progressive politicians are questioning it because in reality their hearts were never into it.

I have lived in 6 countries in 4 different continents, and visited twice as many for longer then a weekend holiday, so i think I know my opinion in this matter may be relevant.

As for celebrating the UAE as a welcoming place, you obviously didn't ask an Indian or Pakistani laborer. I did, it wasn't pretty. 

As for efforts to speak the language, yeah, that helps, that is why I have read many English speaking literature classics, read The independent every day, have joined book clubs (in English) and attend theater in English (I love Shakespeare, something you can't say about all Brits), but again thanks for the tip....


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

jlms said:


> Yours or mine?
> 
> You don't know me but are safely assuming I need to make more effort to integrate. After 10 years living in this country I got tired of making an effort, thanks for the advice anyway. -
> If Brits are so welcoming how do you explain all the racially segregated areas in most big towns and the constant barrage of anti immigrant sentiment in pretty much all media?
> ...


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

jlms said:


> Yours or mine?
> 
> You don't know me but are safely assuming I need to make more effort to integrate. After 10 years living in this country I got tired of making an effort, thanks for the advice anyway. -
> If Brits are so welcoming how do you explain all the racially segregated areas in most big towns and the constant barrage of anti immigrant sentiment in pretty much all media?
> ...


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## CarCar (Aug 9, 2008)

If 'fit in' means comfortable and accepted by the locals (?) then - yes, absolutely.

It wasn't an instant thing, I would say it took about one year to feel completely comfortable and now after two years my youngest son complains that I take too long when I collect him from school. The reason is that from I enter the school ground I stop about 5-6 times to talk to various people, thus it takes me 10 - 15 min to get to the door to collect him.

I feel that the British are generally reserved in the beginning but once they start talking they don't stop. We have loved our time here in the UK and were it not for the weather - I would happily continue to live here.


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