# Cyprus with kids - advice please!



## Mari89 (Dec 2, 2020)

Hi, My husband and I moved to Cyprus 1 year ago with our 2 young children (now 2 and 1 years old) and I am really struggling here.
The summer months were torture; I found it very difficult to do anything with the children because it was too hot to go out, and, if there are any air conditioned indoor activity centres I am yet to find any which open before 3 or 4pm. I feed my kids at 5-5:50pm before bath & bed so I feel the lifestyle here just doesn't suit us and I am not prepared to change their routine at their age.
I don't find the cooler months any better or easier. There is very little to do with kids so young here. My partner's family are all here but I just don't see them interacting with my kids as I'd hoped; they usually just get plonked in front of the TV. Discipline seems to stem from implanting fear into children and as a teacher, I just don't agree with that approach.
My son started a nursery here and within 1 month I pulled him out. He was left outside alone on 3 occasions, was pinned down on the toilet by 2 members of staff to avoid another accident, and on 3 occasions when I picked him up they were watching TV. There was only 1 teacher for 16 2 year olds. An expat friend pulled her child out of a very prestigious nursery for similar reasons. Having trained and taught for 10 years in the UK, I am finding it difficult to contemplate putting my children through the education system here. 
The cost of living is ridiculous here. Only my husband works at the moment as I look after the children. To feed a family of 4 we easily spend a minimum of €150 per week on grocery shopping alone. We do not buy luxuries, just basics. 
Salaries are half here what they are in the UK and although some may argue that electricity is cheaper, I don't think that it is that different. 
I am aware that many people have told me I need to give it at least 2 years and I will love it...but I really don't see that happening. I am utterly miserable here and am no longer the mum or wife I was or want to be. Most days I just feel devastated that I've woken up to have to face another day here. 
I find that most Cypriots are quite 'cliquey' and don't feel I will ever be fully integrated here, only if I live a life surrounded by other expats. 
I must add that we moved here just before Covid19 struck, so I am aware that we have spent our first year here in lockdown, wearing masks and having even more limitations on what we can do. It's truly been the worst year of my life and I just want to leave and go back to the UK. 
Can anybody shed some hope for staying here at all? I have lost all hope that we can live a happy life here.


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## Veronica (Apr 5, 2008)

I am sorry that you are so unhappy in Cyprus. Unfortunately from my experience in the 14 years I lived in Cyprus families do tend to struggle far more than couples without children. It is fact that the education system is very much lacking compared to other European countries. Is you husband Cypriot? If so I can understand why you are struggling as their views on family life are often very different to what you would be used to in the UK.


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## JoeChristmas (Oct 29, 2016)

Where are you based? 

We have a 3 year old, we've been here for about 2 years. It can be difficult finding activities, but not impossible. Covid has really made the situation much worse, sadly... A few comments:

1 - We have a good pre-school for our child. It's a private, English language school, around 250 Euro per month. I can't comment on the Cypriot schools. But we are generally happy at our private school, as the school is rather progressive and our daughter likes it. Although she hated it in the beginning, the first month was challenging, crying every morning. She was not used to being away from her mother for 5 hours and around a lot of new kids, it was stressful. But she worked through it, now she looks forward to school and has many new friends (a metaphor of your move to Cyprus, perhaps?).

2 - Summer is hot, but there is so much to do outside. Ok, with a 1 year old it's difficult, but our daughter last year (2 years old) was in pools, at the sea often, walks in Troodos, boat rides in Latchi, playgrounds and picnics (with shade), etc. Lots of things to do, and much of it is free!

3 - Winter is challenging... We've found some activities here in Paphos, but it's not easy. It helps we've made friends and now have regular meet ups in small groups (Covid approved) inside. This has made a big difference, you need to find friends with children at similar ages to your own.

4 - You sound quite miserable. I've been an expat in 4 countries in my life, hopefully we'll stay here long term, as we like it in Cyprus, even though it can be challenging at times. However, from my experience, it's usually the wife that suffers the most. The husband is working and out and about, the wife has to deal with lots of things that take time and are frustrating, while usually doing most of the work with the kids. And young kids are incredibly challenging. Some wives adapt quickly and love it, others are severely depressed. I've seen this so many times.... You seem to be one of the latter. 

Quite frankly, being a happy "expat" is a mentality. You don't seem to have left the UK in your mind, so you are not really embracing Cyprus as your new home. The glass is half empty for you... I think this is the death knell for you and Cyprus, unless you really change your mentality. 

We tend to think "things" happen, and then we are happy or sad because of those things. But in reality, we choose to be happy or sad, and then justify the things around us as driving our happiness or sadness. I'm not saying it's not difficult at first when moving to a new country, but without the right mentality, you will never have a chance.

Good luck.


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