# The Expat Forum Lounge



## JazII (Mar 11, 2010)

I just wanted to say I love the idea of your "The Expat Forum Lounge" area, it's a bit like the politically incorrect area of another place coupled with other useful threads like Book Club etc.....great idea


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Its always been there but for some reason it doesnt seem to get used to its full potential. Altho just recently its become a bit more popular

Jo xxx


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## owdoggy (Jul 23, 2008)

Er........ we have a lounge?........cool!



Doggy


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

*Relax,have a laugh - you are in the Lounge*

Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!
___

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been sitting.
"Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini."

After four martinis, the two were feeling pretty good. There were some laughs -- and then more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end: "I've been diagnosed with AIDS," she said.
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, "Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS. Why did you do that?"
"Because I don't want any of those *****es sleeping with your father after I'm gone."
___

And that, my friends, is what is called, "Putting Your Affairs In Order."
___

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
Women are like telephones: they like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!
:clap2:


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## JazII (Mar 11, 2010)

baldilocks said:


> Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!
> ___
> 
> The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."
> ...


Je je je 

You should start a new thread along the lines of Joke Corner in the lounge


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

very nice!!!hhmmm. Poor mrs Baldilocks!!!

Jo xxx


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## alassiolady (Mar 5, 2010)

Hello Everyone!
I am a fit and healthy 62yr old lady and am seriously considering moving to Alicante, to the city centre that is. I have been advised to look in the quieter area behind the Central Market rather than the Barrio area which is lively into the early hours.
Does anyone know of an apartment that I could rent for perhaps a month in April or May so that I can base myself whilst I look for a more permanant place?
Also I would love to make friends as soon as pos then I wouldn't be too lonely! I am happy to meet all ages and nationalities....I do speak some Italian and this helps me get by in Spanish also.
Look forward to all your replies, Maureen x


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## JazII (Mar 11, 2010)

alassiolady said:


> Hello Everyone!
> I am a fit and healthy 62yr old lady and am seriously considering moving to Alicante, to the city centre that is. I have been advised to look in the quieter area behind the Central Market rather than the Barrio area which is lively into the early hours.
> Does anyone know of an apartment that I could rent for perhaps a month in April or May so that I can base myself whilst I look for a more permanant place?
> Also I would love to make friends as soon as pos then I wouldn't be too lonely! I am happy to meet all ages and nationalities....I do speak some Italian and this helps me get by in Spanish also.
> Look forward to all your replies, Maureen x


Hi Maureen

Welcome to the forum, my advice would be to contact some local estate agents and also to look at the apartments for rent in that area online (via a google search) 

I did a quick search and found a couple of URLs that seem to offer a good starting point, I'll PM you the links


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## JazII (Mar 11, 2010)

JazII said:


> Hi Maureen
> 
> Welcome to the forum, my advice would be to contact some local estate agents and also to look at the apartments for rent in that area online (via a google search)
> 
> I did a quick search and found a couple of URLs that seem to offer a good starting point, I'll PM you the links


Maureen your profile doesn't appear to be PM enabled......

If you search for "Alicante behind Central Market area" in google the second link is very insightful.....


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

SteveHall said:


> A friend has a restaurant there and I think also has an apartment above it.
> 
> Top guy, speaks about 7 languages and knows everything about Alicante



I think the poster would be far better off going to an agent in the area. Very often they know of short term lets and people who are likely to have short term rentals as well. There are lots of "top guys" in that area who will know of several places and not just one above a restaurant 

Jo xxx


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## alassiolady (Mar 5, 2010)

JazII said:


> Maureen your profile doesn't appear to be PM enabled......
> 
> If you search for "Alicante behind Central Market area" in google the second link is very insightful.....


Wow what a swift reply THANKYOU!
I will have a look at the google search and see what I can find....

Thanks again!

Maureen


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## El Tonto (Mar 13, 2010)

baldilocks said:


> Man, I'll tell ya, women can be cold until the end!
> ___
> 
> The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, "I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."
> ...



Good to see you haven't changed


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## alassiolady (Mar 5, 2010)

Thankyou for the suggestion...will take a look

Maureen


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

*Rude one*

The Penis Poem

My nookie days are over, 
My pilot light is out. 
What used to be my sex appeal, 
Is now my water spout. 
Time was when, on its own accord, 
From my trousers it would spring. 
But now I've got a full time job, 
To find the &*&(&%$ thing. 
It used to be embarrassing, 
The way it would behave. 
For every single morning, 
It would stand and watch me shave. 
Now as old age approaches, 
It sure gives me the blues. 
To see it hang its little head, 
And watch me tie my shoes!!


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

*Irish Logic*

An English tourist asks an Irish fisherman:

"Why do Scuba Divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?"



To which the Irishman replies:

"If they fell forwards they'd still be in the f**kin' boat."


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

THIS WAS NOMINATED FOR BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR - WORTH SHARING
A Somalian arrives in London as a new immigrant to the UK .
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says........
'Thank you Mr. British for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'
The passer by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican!'
The man goes on and encounters another passer by. 'Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in the UK !'
The person says, 'I not British, I Polish!'
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Britain !'
That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Russia , I am not from Britain !'
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you a British?'
She says, 'No, I am from Africa !'
Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the British?'
The African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at work'


IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE


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