# First time expat moving overseas from US to NL- so many questions!



## amgi91 (Oct 27, 2015)

Forgive me if any of my questions have been previously answered, this is my first time using this site and I've not had a chance to fully navigate it yet. Thank you for your patience! 

My partner and I (we're unmarried) have plans to move to Amsterdam via the Surinder Singh route with the ultimate goal being the UK, Scotland specifically. Neither he nor I have lived in the Netherlands and we're both a little overwhelmed at everything. Online guides don't really help much. I'm hoping someone can tell me a few things about daily life in the NL, like what areas are best to avoid at night, how much should we save or expect to bring with us in order to live comfortably while adjusting? He (my partner) will have a job waiting and it pays decently, about $17/hr (usd) though I'm not sure what the pay is overseas for the same position. We don't plan on bringing a whole lot with us, just basically the clothes off our backs and a few sentimental items, so there won't be much expense in storage. We'll have our daughter with us who will probably be around 18 months at the time of the move. Any parents out there have advice on raising and taking care of a baby when you're 4,000 miles away from everyone you know? Or suggestions on baby friendly events and activities in Amsterdam and day care services someone liked we might look into? What neighborhoods would you recommend and what sort of cultural differences did you struggle with, or if you're Dutch what cultural differences did you find your American friends struggling with the most? We're very excited to move, but naturally it is a big adjustment and we want to prepare as much as we can while there is plenty of time. So any suggestion is welcome! Thank you.


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## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

I take it your partner is British (since you're going the Surinder Singh route). First thing you'll have to check is whether the Dutch will admit you (as the American partner) as a "de facto partner" or if you'll have to get married. (With luck, someone here on the forum may have more information on that and chime in here.)

You may want to look into joining one of the American women's groups in Amsterdam. There tends to be lots of support there for families. American Women’s Club of Amsterdam | Experiencing the Netherlands while honoring American traditions. is the one I know of. But I suspect there are others if you look around.
Cheers,
Bev


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## amgi91 (Oct 27, 2015)

I'll look into both, thank you. And he is British.


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## ExBat (Nov 24, 2015)

Having worked in the US (Ohio) myself and knowing about US (and many other countries) expat experience in the Netherlands, I can tell you that they (US expats, and the other 'warmer' country expats) mostly struggle with the local Dutch culture.

There are no 'pleasantries' in day to day conversation and you can forget about randomly starting a conversation with someone. You will find the Dutch too direct in their wording and not accepting of criticism of their own culture. At work, the interaction will be slightly friendlier than 'outside'.

You're going to be making friends with other expats from around the world and will find it impossible to be accepted in any Dutch circles. (Don't know why this is always a wish of expats, I would be perfectly fine being in contact with only expats). With your expat friends you will be making jokes and critique about all of this. 

Furthermore, depending on the environment, the English speaking level will vary from survival to great. So it does depend on where your partner will be waiting (if it's a private business/IT environment, expect everyone to speak in English to him). If it's a normal restaurant, it will really depend on where it is (e.g. tourist area/etc).

Amsterdam has good areas and bad areas and areas where the 'whites' don't want to live anymore simply because there are too many 'blacks'. So it really depends on what you're looking for and what you're comfortable with.

However in general, expect all parts of the Netherlands to be safer than most areas in the US. (e.g. you're never going to be shot, you potentially might be mugged in Amsterdam (worse in center with all the tourists), or have your bike stolen, have valuables stolen from your house).

Most well off Dutch live in green areas (e.g. "Vinex" areas, see wikipedia) outside of the city and travel with car/train to work in Amsterdam.

Most of those who live and work in Amsterdam themselves, live on the outer areas of Amsterdam and bike (or metro) to their work everyday... you'll find that the distances in the Netherlands are much closer (you could bike from one city to another even).


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