# if you have kids and come to Canada be aware of the law



## trappedmom (Apr 12, 2015)

This is my tip to all these familys that are thinking of coming here for work. I'm trapped here with my two children. We came over from Germany my oldest was born there and my other one here in Canada. The Dad and me split up.. so now I would like to go back home but he does not want us too.. so we have to go through court.. it is very expensive getting divorced here (payed around 8000$ each) and having to retain a lawyer to go through this courtprocess cost lots of money to we are at 4000$ already and not have been to court yet. please make sure you know everything before coming here....


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## EVHB (Feb 11, 2008)

So both you and your husband want the divorce, you both agree on who get what and how to go about the kids, but still you have to pay >$16,000 to get everything on paper without there being any dispute at all between you and your husband?


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## colchar (Oct 25, 2011)

The law is perfectly reasonable. You want to take your children out of the country, he does not want that to happen. Since there is disagreement it makes sense to have a judge decide. If you weren't trying to take the children out of the country your divorce would be simple and would cost very little. It is your desire to take the children out of the country that is causing this so don't blame Canada for it. If the roles were reversed and your husband was trying to take the kids out of the country you would be applauding a law that prevents him from doing so.


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## iceno9 (Jan 29, 2010)

colchar said:


> The law is perfectly reasonable. You want to take your children out of the country, he does not want that to happen. Since there is disagreement it makes sense to have a judge decide. If you weren't trying to take the children out of the country your divorce would be simple and would cost very little. It is your desire to take the children out of the country that is causing this so don't blame Canada for it. If the roles were reversed and your husband was trying to take the kids out of the country you would be applauding a law that prevents him from doing so.


Absolutely correct.....its a horrible thing to split up, very stressful and I feel sorry for the parents and children involved. But far too often it is 'assumed' that the kids stay with the mother and the mother calls all the shots and this is soooo unfair. The children have 2 parents with 100% equal rights over them irrespective for the reason for separation.
I do hope you manage to sort things out to a way that suits you all....but this is a good law!


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## trappedmom (Apr 12, 2015)

I was just making aware of this issue.. since I did not know all this when I came here..I just want other families to think about this before coming here... if I would have known before that a canadian judge has to decide if I'm allowed to go home I would have stayed in Germany... I'm a German my daughter is one and my son has both...yes both parents should have equal rights but if one parent never had much Interest in their kids then they should notpretend they do now and try to keepthe other parent their... I hopeyou guys enjoy your family / extended family .. for us we do not have any family here and that is a big reason for us to go home. Thanks for the input though


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## EVHB (Feb 11, 2008)

But this has nothing to do with Canada. The rules are like that in Germany, Belgium, USA, ...

And probably people never think this will happen to them, as you don't move your family oversees while considering a divorce. So when you are immigrating, probably everything is still fine.

A question: suppose that you live with your husband and kids in one part of Germany, for example Hamburg. And you get a divorce, and your husband would like to move to Munich (about 800 km). Would a judge allow your husband to do so while taking the kids with him, or him requesting for shared custody? I think you probably will have a big problem too, even if this is a relocation within the country.
At least, in Belgium a judge would not allow that.


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## colchar (Oct 25, 2011)

trappedmom said:


> I was just making aware of this issue.. since I did not know all this when I came here..I just want other families to think about this before coming here... if I would have known before that a canadian judge has to decide if I'm allowed to go home I would have stayed in Germany...



Anyone with common sense would assume that every western country has similar laws.




> I'm a German my daughter is one and my son has both



Completely irrelevant as you are in Canada now.




> yes both parents should have equal rights but if one parent never had much Interest in their kids then they should notpretend they do now and try to keepthe other parent their...



That is an issue for you to take up in court.


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## trappedmom (Apr 12, 2015)

@colchar thanks for your opinion


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