# Separation Issue



## Johnny50 (Sep 2, 2017)

I have a problem. My wife wants to separate/leave me. We are in Playa del Carmen on visitors visas with our 3 minor children. She refuses to return to the US and basically just wants me out of her life so she can stay here with our kids. 
I think we should go back to the US to divorce and she is telling me that I can go alone if I want. I obviously won't leave my children. I'm pretty sure if I do, I might never see them again or at the very least it will be a long time before I do see them.
Her intention is to get residency for herself and the kids. 
What can I do? What are my options?
PS: We had started the divorce process in the States(AZ) at the end of last year but stopped to try to make things work. My gut tells me that it was only stopped so she could get the kids out of the country. We are all American citizens.


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## lagoloo (Apr 12, 2011)

Sorry for your misery and yes, you're in a real mess. First, get to a Mexican lawyer who speaks enough English to work with you if you aren't fluent. Go from there. Advice you get on a web board isn't going to do the job.
Good luck.


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## chicois8 (Aug 8, 2009)

> PS: We had started the divorce process in the States(AZ) at the end of last year but stopped to try to make things work. My gut tells me that it was only stopped so she could get the kids out of the country. We are all American citizens.


Guess things did not work out and she had a plan, for her to get the resident visa she and the children will have to start I believe the process in the states, she will have to leave Mexico when the 180 day tourist permit expires......suerte

Maybe freeze bank accounts in the states, although she may have been hiding money all along for the plan to work.....


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

She and the children will have to return to the USA to start the process to get approved for residency in Mexico. She will have to prove substantial income flow and/or financial assets for each individual. So, it may not be easy for her to do that. The tourist permit is good for only 180 days.
If you can qualify for a residence permit, you might make a quick trip to the USA and a Mexican consulate to apply, then return to Mexico, complete the process and have time on your side with legal residence. Then, if she refuses to leave Mexico, there would be a way to get her back to USA jurisdiction, with the help of INM. Drastic, huh?


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## perropedorro (Mar 19, 2016)

Wow, Johnny, this would be a legal and emotional mess in the U.S., now add the transnational dimension. First, take care of yourself, then, as lagoloo suggests, find a lawyer. RVgringo also has some valid advice about getting _just yourself_ squared away on residency with INM and perhaps using it to your advantage. Take stock, address it all with a cool head, and hopefully you'll come out whole at the end.


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## Zorro2017 (Jan 9, 2017)

How does she plan on raising the kids there if she cannot work? Unless you will have some pretty steep child support.


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## Zorro2017 (Jan 9, 2017)

RVGRINGO said:


> She and the children will have to return to the USA to start the process to get approved for residency in Mexico.


Unless she divorces you and then quickly "marries" a Mexican national. When I married my Mexican wife they separated us and questioned us as to where we met, where we lived, why we wanted to get married because a lot of people with a little money will pay a local to marry them just to get the residency without proving the income. They warned us that they would have a surprise visit to our home to see if we actually lived together.

The never happened though.


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## costaricamex (Jul 7, 2017)

You have some good advice here but a big problem. Very difficult situation.

I am unmarried no kids and live in Costa Rica so can’t add much although my thought would be to suggest that you remember that in Latin cultures that the Woman typically will have more rights than a man in domestic situations, especially with kids.

Here I have had friends kicked out of homes and/or thrown in jail based simply on the word of the woman. 

Maybe that is the right way I can’t say and certainly if a man is using violence then there should be repercussions. But I would just caution please try to make sure that there is no violent or screaming type situations that develop as my guess is no matter who was wrong it would be the man who may end up in a Mexican prison. 

Best of luck to you and hope that your kids can live a good tranquil life in the midst of this situation. Kids can suffer the most in breakups. 

P.S. off to Cuernavaca for three weeks today. Cant wait. Anyone up for a coffee in the Zocalo? My treat?


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## josekoko (May 25, 2017)

costaricamex said:


> You have some good advice here but a big problem. Very difficult situation.
> 
> ...P.S. off to Cuernavaca for three weeks today. Cant wait. Anyone up for a coffee in the Zocalo? My treat?


I'm FINALLY leaving this next week - and not sure if I am gonna do Costa Rica or Mexico City when I come in - I'm leaning towards Costa Rica (quieter, less people). 

I want to have coffee with anyone who'll have coffee with me! 

p/m me, all of you, who might want to meet up in CR or CDMX...I'll post where I'm at when I get there. Super excited but scared, too! The fear is only mainly because I'm afraid I'm gonna forget something!


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## circle110 (Jul 20, 2009)

josekoko said:


> Costa Rica (quieter, less people).


I wouldn't be so sure about that. I found the cities of Costa Rica to be the same volume as in Mexico with a similar crush of people.

What Costa Rica does have is lots of beautifully preserved wild areas and small towns built up around eco-tourism. You may find the peace you seek in those regions, but in cities like San José there isn't a great difference from Mexico.


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## josekoko (May 25, 2017)

circle110 said:


> I wouldn't be so sure about that. I found the cities of Costa Rica to be the same volume as in Mexico with a similar crush of people.
> 
> What Costa Rica does have is lots of beautifully preserved wild areas and small towns built up around eco-tourism. You may find the peace you seek in those regions, but in cities like San José there isn't a great difference from Mexico.


Yeah, I wasn't thinking of San Jose when I was thinking quiet. 

About the topic of this thread - I apologize to the person who initiated it. I did read about your plight and I hope you get some answers. I would research, research, research (act like you're your own paralegal) - and then I'd get legal assistance. 

I would take forum replies as helpful but in no way correct. 

I remember needing legal advice once, for something very important. Everyone had an opinion. Some people would speak with almost absolute authority - making declarative statement upon declarative statement. Of course, they can act like an authority - sometimes, even using examples to substantiate their claim. Oftentimes, the people who acted like they knew the most and had the most authority on a subject were DEAD WRONG.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

circle110 said:


> I wouldn't be so sure about that. I found the cities of Costa Rica to be the same volume as in Mexico with a similar crush of people.
> 
> What Costa Rica does have is lots of beautifully preserved wild areas and small towns built up around eco-tourism. You may find the peace you seek in those regions, but in cities like San José there isn't a great difference from Mexico.


I've never been to Costa Rica, but reports over the years from several friends who have gone there is that San José is nothing much to write home about, but the areas outside the capital are lovely, at least for a vacation. Don't know anyone who lives there.


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## circle110 (Jul 20, 2009)

Isla Verde said:


> I've never been to Costa Rica, but reports over the years from several friends who have gone there is that San José is nothing much to write home about, but the areas outside the capital are lovely, at least for a vacation. Don't know anyone who lives there.


The areas that are preserved are absolutely gorgeous. When I went I mistakenly spent too much time in the cities and not enough in the cloud and rain forests. If/when I go back I will spend 100% of my time in the forest regions.

On the topic of the OP's post; I just don't think that a forum like this is the right place to give legal advice. His situation is too important and he should get his advice from qualified lawyers in both countries. I wish him the best.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

Why both countries? He was married in the States and is not a permanent resident in Mexico and neither is his wife.. His wife will have to apply for residency for her and the kids and I cannot imagine Mexico giving her that without the signature of the father of the kids.


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## ElPocho (Aug 25, 2017)

How were you supporting the family in Playa? Does she have a job? Do you have a job? Do you own or rent? Are the kids going to school?
Do her parents live there? 
I don't see how getting the kids out of the country would be beneficial, I would think it would be to her disadvantage, but I'm not a lawyer either.


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## circle110 (Jul 20, 2009)

I have to take note that the OP has not responded to their first post ever on the forum. A potential troll alert may be in order.


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## circle110 (Jul 20, 2009)

citlali said:


> Why both countries? He was married in the States and is not a permanent resident in Mexico and neither is his wife.. His wife will have to apply for residency for her and the kids and I cannot imagine Mexico giving her that without the signature of the father of the kids.


I know it's a US baseball cliche, but... it's better to cover all your bases. 
I hear you, but still.. this is a big deal for the OP (if it's real).


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