# LOS or Land of Jokes? Is this country for Real?



## Gulfer

Expat in Thailand? A 'lucky' one? No visa border runs? Retiree in a blissful land?
Let us take a good look in the mirror...
3 years of none immigrant O retiree visa. All Immigration criteria complied with.
Sole owner-occupier of a beaut condo apartment. Car (new). Appliances. All bought new here, in the Land of Jokes. Let me tell you what is wrong... Everything!
Fridge (Siemens) - RUSTY!
New car's stainless steel parts - RUSTY! (God knows what is inside?)
Chandeliers, gold and chrome plated - RUSTY!
Newly installed aluminium doors and windows - RUSTY!
Apartment in a high rise condominium (over 20 floors) HAS NO FIRE SAFETY! NONE!
( no fire/smoke alarm, no checks on fire extinquishers, no evacuation plans, no emergency lights, no working water-booster pumps for hydrants). 
No legal protection for citizens, consumers or foreigners ! 
No Laws, at least working! They are made here to look like western, than forgotten and broken every step at a time!
Corrosion, corruption, disfunction - everywhere. Bandar-log! Nothing is Real. Only looks like it.
Oh, and, please, do not call me a pessimist. Remember, pessimists are the same people as optimists, just better informed. :clap2::clap2::clap2:
Yeass, I know about the Old and New Condo Laws. These people just piss at them. The year is still 2552! This is 543 years behind...


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## KhwaamLap

Gulfer said:


> Expat in Thailand? A 'lucky' one? No visa border runs? Retiree in a blissful land?
> Let us take a good look in the mirror...
> 3 years of none immigrant O retiree visa. All Immigration criteria complied with.
> Sole owner-occupier of a beaut condo apartment. Car (new). Appliances. All bought new here, in the Land of Jokes. Let me tell you what is wrong... Everything!
> Fridge (Siemens) - RUSTY!
> New car's stainless steel parts - RUSTY! (God knows what is inside?)
> Chandeliers, gold and chrome plated - RUSTY!
> Newly installed aluminium doors and windows - RUSTY!
> Apartment in a high rise condominium (over 20 floors) HAS NO FIRE SAFETY! NONE!
> ( no fire/smoke alarm, no checks on fire extinquishers, no evacuation plans, no emergency lights, no working water-booster pumps for hydrants).
> No legal protection for citizens, consumers or foreigners !
> No Laws, at least working! They are made here to look like western, than forgotten and broken every step at a time!
> Corrosion, corruption, disfunction - everywhere. Bandar-log! Nothing is Real. Only looks like it.
> Oh, and, please, do not call me a pessimist. Remember, pessimists are the same people as optimists, just better informed. :clap2::clap2::clap2:
> Yeass, I know about the Old and New Condo Laws. These people just piss at them. The year is still 2552! This is 543 years behind...


That's why most people rent I guess. I also started with a rusty car and worked it back to good - if a car lasts the heat and rain for 15 years, it must e well enough bilt to last 15 more I reckon. Nothing new is built to last as my mum would say


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## Guest

Par for the course for the developing world - by choosing to live here and benefit from the pluses, we don't have much choice but to accept the minuses as well! I suppose life could be worse that a few rusty gold-plated chandeliers


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## Acid_Crow

Gulfer said:


> Expat in Thailand? A 'lucky' one? No visa border runs? Retiree in a blissful land?
> Let us take a good look in the mirror...
> 3 years of none immigrant O retiree visa. All Immigration criteria complied with.
> Sole owner-occupier of a beaut condo apartment. Car (new). Appliances. All bought new here, in the Land of Jokes. Let me tell you what is wrong... Everything!
> Fridge (Siemens) - RUSTY!
> New car's stainless steel parts - RUSTY! (God knows what is inside?)
> Chandeliers, gold and chrome plated - RUSTY!
> Newly installed aluminium doors and windows - RUSTY!
> Apartment in a high rise condominium (over 20 floors) HAS NO FIRE SAFETY! NONE!
> ( no fire/smoke alarm, no checks on fire extinquishers, no evacuation plans, no emergency lights, no working water-booster pumps for hydrants).
> No legal protection for citizens, consumers or foreigners !
> No Laws, at least working! They are made here to look like western, than forgotten and broken every step at a time!
> Corrosion, corruption, disfunction - everywhere. Bandar-log! Nothing is Real. Only looks like it.
> Oh, and, please, do not call me a pessimist. Remember, pessimists are the same people as optimists, just better informed. :clap2::clap2::clap2:
> Yeass, I know about the Old and New Condo Laws. These people just piss at them. The year is still 2552! This is 543 years behind...


This made me smile..


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## anselpixel

Yes, I do think things can get much worse than to have one's gilded appliances corrupted with rust. 
I understand the screed, and look forward to discovering my own set of objections.
To be very honest, I have at this point two well-researched options to Thailand in the event I can't bring myself to stay.
Nothing is as it seems, which is why anyone with assumptions is certain to be disappointed when the lights come on.
As a first hedge against cynicism, I decided some months ago not to try and export my lifestyle. I won't make major purchases in Thailand.
It took me years to get rid of all that stuff here. Why would I throw away my freedom by moving to another country and starting the same model anew?
Just my opinion.


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## Guest

That makes a lot of sense AP. With that attitude you stand more chance of making a success of it than by trying to live a unrealisable dream. I don't see you as cynical, just realistic and prudent. Best of luck...


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## Miss Jungle

Oh! Poor fellow...
Life is so hard here!
Should go back to your civilized country where you'll have a good fridge, good car, safety alarms in your house...
For me, I like not to have alarm, and like the freedom that gives the laws here... One place can be good for some, not for others...


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## shirlsails

So.....I'm new to this site and new as well to this whole Expat concept.
I am hoping to move to Thailand in a few years, and was wondering if anyone can tell me where to start.....there are so many links and websites that I will go crazy reading them all.
Since buying anything is apparently not allowed for foreigners, renting will be the way to go for me I guess...
And I heard 90 days is the max stay allowed (yes, I am Canadian and unfortunately take things at face value) unless someone knows something that i don't....
What about working part-time.....
I heard that if I work on a boat not registered in Thailand, then I can be hired by the boat owner or company and work that way in Thailand???
So many questions.....so much time to think about it.....


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## JustChris

Gulfer said:


> Expat in Thailand? A 'lucky' one? No visa border runs? Retiree in a blissful land?
> Let us take a good look in the mirror...
> 3 years of none immigrant O retiree visa. All Immigration criteria complied with.
> Sole owner-occupier of a beaut condo apartment. Car (new). Appliances. All bought new here, in the Land of Jokes. Let me tell you what is wrong... Everything!
> Fridge (Siemens) - RUSTY!
> New car's stainless steel parts - RUSTY! (God knows what is inside?)
> Chandeliers, gold and chrome plated - RUSTY!
> Newly installed aluminium doors and windows - RUSTY!
> Apartment in a high rise condominium (over 20 floors) HAS NO FIRE SAFETY! NONE!
> ( no fire/smoke alarm, no checks on fire extinquishers, no evacuation plans, no emergency lights, no working water-booster pumps for hydrants).
> No legal protection for citizens, consumers or foreigners !
> No Laws, at least working! They are made here to look like western, than forgotten and broken every step at a time!
> Corrosion, corruption, disfunction - everywhere. Bandar-log! Nothing is Real. Only looks like it.
> Oh, and, please, do not call me a pessimist. Remember, pessimists are the same people as optimists, just better informed. :clap2::clap2::clap2:
> Yeass, I know about the Old and New Condo Laws. These people just piss at them. The year is still 2552! This is 543 years behind...


Do you live by the ocean? This is a common problem when one lives near saltwater.


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## Andrew Hicks

You just have to learn to go with the flow, as I said when I wrote the book about 'my Thai girl and I'.

Thailand is like nowhere else. Smile or die! 

Andrew Hicks


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## Serendipity2

Andrew Hicks said:


> You just have to learn to go with the flow, as I said when I wrote the book about 'my Thai girl and I'.
> 
> Thailand is like nowhere else. Smile or die!
> 
> Andrew Hicks



Hi Andrew,

I just finished reading your book "My Thai Girl and I". An excellent read - I recommend it highly to anyone thinking about moving to and marrying a Thai. For most of us it's the antithesis of what we know and how we function. A couple of questions though..

If you didn't make regular visits to Old Blighty would you be able to make Thailand your permanent residence? How do you cope with the lack of intellectual stimulation - especially out in the middle of Issan? I would guess writing occupies a fair bit of your time [and making sure the wife doesn't bankrupt you with the 'next' project!] but don't you find the lack a bit challenging? Or am I missing something! I could understand the "Go with the flow" mindset if you had a modest education and were a essentially a non-achiever but you seem at the other end of that spectrum. Thanks in advance for your comments and welcome to the forum.

Serendipity2


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## Serendipity2

Andrew Hicks said:


> You just have to learn to go with the flow, as I said when I wrote the book about 'my Thai girl and I'.
> 
> Thailand is like nowhere else. Smile or die!
> 
> Andrew Hicks




Andrew,

I just finished your book recently. An excellent book, "My Thai Girl and I" and I recommend it highly to anyone thinking about marrying and living in Thailand. 

A couple of questions - do you think your periodic trips to Old Blighty help you survive in Issan, Thailand given the cultures are what I would call diametrically opposite one another? What do you do for intellectual stimulation? I'm guessing you continue writing but that can only provide a modest outlet and since the two cultures are so vastly different. I posted a similar message earlier but it seemed to have been swallowed up by the vastness of the Internet. 

Serendipity2


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## Serendipity2

Serendipity2 said:


> Andrew,
> 
> I just finished your book recently. An excellent book, "My Thai Girl and I" and I recommend it highly to anyone thinking about marrying and living in Thailand.
> 
> A couple of questions - do you think your periodic trips to Old Blighty help you survive in Issan, Thailand given the cultures are what I would call diametrically opposite one another? What do you do for intellectual stimulation? I'm guessing you continue writing but that can only provide a modest outlet and since the two cultures are so vastly different. I posted a similar message earlier but it seemed to have been swallowed up by the vastness of the Internet.
> 
> Serendipity2




Naturally, I don't see my post of this morning SO I write another and.... Voila, my first post appears. Of course I can't delete the dang thing - that would be too easy! Sorry all


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## Andrew Hicks

Serendipity2 said:


> Hi Andrew,
> 
> I just finished reading your book "My Thai Girl and I". An excellent read - I recommend it highly to anyone thinking about moving to and marrying a Thai. For most of us it's the antithesis of what we know and how we function. A couple of questions though..
> 
> If you didn't make regular visits to Old Blighty would you be able to make Thailand your permanent residence? How do you cope with the lack of intellectual stimulation - especially out in the middle of Issan? I would guess writing occupies a fair bit of your time [and making sure the wife doesn't bankrupt you with the 'next' project!] but don't you find the lack a bit challenging? Or am I missing something! I could understand the "Go with the flow" mindset if you had a modest education and were a essentially a non-achiever but you seem at the other end of that spectrum. Thanks in advance for your comments and welcome to the forum.
> 
> Serendipity2



Thanks, Serendip, for your nice comments about "My Thai Girl and I" and yes, I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Living in a small Isaan village, there is no real answer to the problem of cultural isolation except to find stimulus in books, the internet and of course forums like this one!

Taking an interest in the place and writing about it has been my saviour but on the last page of the book I ask myself how I'm going to fill my time now the last page is written.

My other outlet is writing my blog at Thai Girl which combines my pleasure in writing with photography. We've been helping the local school and have raised money to build them a chicken house with eighty chickens and that's been time consuming and rewarding. (I hesitate to do it myself, but if you'd like to post the latest blog article on the chickens to this Forum, I'd be delighted.)

Then the other semi-solution is as you suggest, not to stay here in the village too long at a stretch. A trip to Bangkok to deal with book business or to UK to see family is essential as I'm pretty short on local farang friends.

I suppose one of the themes of the book is dealing with isolation, both cultural and intellectual, and of course there's no easy answer to the problem, as you so rightly suggest.

And a final point... I mention cultural isolation because I wouldn't suggest that the problem is being surrounded by my intellectual inferiors. I've just had more opportunities than my Thai family have had. My wife Cat I feel could have been a great lawyer for example. Her negotiating skills are formidable! And she is literate in two language systems and speaks four languages so in many respects she's ahead of me. 

But of course for cultural and linguistic reasons we cannot always fully relate to each other.

So life goes on! 

I'm thinking of a trip to Bangkok!

Andrew Hicks


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## Guest

Interesting S2, Andrew.

As the years go by, I find intellect rather overrated - particularly after the experience of living amongst those who consider other qualities to be of greater value.

As Andrew suggests, there are many resources available to satisfy intellectual curiosity, not least the internet, and these provide ample stimulus as far as I am concerned. Andrew has hit the nail on the head - cultural isolation can be disturbing over longer periods of time, although this varies from individual to individual. I mostly find it rather refreshing, nowadays, having developed rather an aversion to certain Western ideals!

When an early teenager I read a work by Hesse, one of the books that has particularly influenced my thinking - Siddhartha. I mention this because the 'hero' spent a major part of his life looking for 'truth', through religion, intellectual pursuits, abstinence, self-indulgence... none could satisfy him; no sooner had he found an answer, when the doubts began to surface once again. Then, finally, on the point of despair, he meets the ferryman - an uneducated, simple man, yet truly contented - the embodiment of wisdom. There is a Buddhist saying, sorry for the approximation... _when the student is ready, the teacher appears_...

If it's a choice of wisdom v. the intellect, I've come across a great deal more of the former in the East as opposed to the West! It's rooted in the Hindu/Buddhist philosophies of acceptance and karma as opposed to monotheism's punishment and obedience. For me, Western culture has a lot to learn from the East, and experiencing this is well worth so-called intellectual isolation.

Of course there is much wrong with certain aspects of Thai life too, but I certainly prefer the fundamentals on this side of the world


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## Andrew Hicks

I agree, Frogbloggeur that the oriental ferryman and rice farmer have so much to teach us frantic Westerners about finding a proper balance in life.

Even so, it is hard to throw off the conditioning and habits of a lifetime, leave one's accustomed world and become a hermit. I could never be a Buddhist monk and so while what you say is right, it is impossible for me to change my spots.

When my village feels too small, there's really nowhere for me to escape to which is a problem.

So should I continue striving and write another book?

Andrew


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## Guest

Personally I don't see striving, and fighting one's fate, as one and the same... the message from Hesse's ferryman was that the latter is pointless, while productive engagement, even when it doesn't produce the preferred results, is 'the Middle Way'. Accepting the flow of events, both positive and negative, is key to finding that balance according to Buddhism.

It's a common misconception that Buddhism equates to some kind of disengagement with life - quite the contrary, I reckon. So pick up that pen (or boot up that laptop) :ranger:


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## Serendipity2

frogblogger said:


> Interesting S2, Andrew.
> 
> As the years go by, I find intellect rather overrated - particularly after the experience of living amongst those who consider other qualities to be of greater value.
> 
> As Andrew suggests, there are many resources available to satisfy intellectual curiosity, not least the internet, and these provide ample stimulus as far as I am concerned. Andrew has hit the nail on the head - cultural isolation can be disturbing over longer periods of time, although this varies from individual to individual. I mostly find it rather refreshing, nowadays, having developed rather an aversion to certain Western ideals!
> 
> When an early teenager I read a work by Hesse, one of the books that has particularly influenced my thinking - Siddhartha. I mention this because the 'hero' spent a major part of his life looking for 'truth', through religion, intellectual pursuits, abstinence, self-indulgence... none could satisfy him; no sooner had he found an answer, when the doubts began to surface once again. Then, finally, on the point of despair, he meets the ferryman - an uneducated, simple man, yet truly contented - the embodiment of wisdom. There is a Buddhist saying, sorry for the approximation... _when the student is ready, the teacher appears_...
> 
> If it's a choice of wisdom v. the intellect, I've come across a great deal more of the former in the East as opposed to the West! It's rooted in the Hindu/Buddhist philosophies of acceptance and karma as opposed to monotheism's punishment and obedience. For me, Western culture has a lot to learn from the East, and experiencing this is well worth so-called intellectual isolation.
> 
> Of course there is much wrong with certain aspects of Thai life too, but I certainly prefer the fundamentals on this side of the world




frogblogger,

What I meant to convey was a bit different. 

You grew up in England and whether in the city of the country you're accustomed to a huge amount of stimuli from radio, television, personal conversations. You also see the printed word, billboards etc. It's everywhere - BUT it's in your language and you understand it. Whatever the pace, you adapt and can integrate that information, process it and act accordingly. Or not act. That isn't true if you are a westerner living in a foreign land where you don't read, write and speak the language fluently. Nor would it be true of a Thai transplanted to the west. It must be very difficult for a young woman [usually] to leave her home and homeland and move to a foreign country without a social network to rely on. 

Even if you were pretty fluent you will miss the many subtleties of communication but to miss almost ALL is what I was trying to convey. Sure, you might be happy and think you don't miss much but simple things become important - like the evening news in English or an English newspaper or a conversations with another English speaking person. 

Whether we are Thai or English or American each of us knows the rhythm of our home country and we do not know that of our adopted country. We can get by and probably even be happy but the environment we grew up knowing is totally different from that of Thailand no matter how nice the smiles or how genial the people. It has nothing to do with intelligence.

Serendipity2


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## Andrew Hicks

So my fate must be to eternally write books?

Irresistable!

Andrew


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## Jezz

It's really all been said. I'm here because as a 65 year old pensioner, it's a far better option to have a lovely Thai GF take care of me, living a very simple life in the village, making my pension stretch each month. I don't need the cities and bright lights anymore - couldn't afford to do anything there anyway! But hey! It's freedom of choice. Can't imagine going home, alone, no home, the council sticking me in some lousy, cold place.... no thanks!


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## Serendipity2

Andrew Hicks said:


> So my fate must be to eternally write books?
> 
> Irresistable!
> 
> Andrew




Andrew,

We thank you, in advance, for all of those future books!  

Somehow I suspect that your trips to Bangkok and back to England are very important to your happiness - and think of all those exotic destinations - Bali, Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar, Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore but a hop, skip and jump away from Isaan. Still, I'll bet top of the heap, when you can, is that trip back to Old Blighty, the land of your birth, where you can have conversations in your native tongue, enjoy friends and family and enjoy a great batch of fish and chips washed down by a good ale. 

Between those trips you can entertain and educate us with your great stories of life, love and adventure as a farang in Isaan, Thailand having no idea what anyone is saying, as ofter as not being the butt of a warm joke, fencing with your wife over the funding of that next hair-brained project and finding ways to stay relevant by your own measure. Good luck with the grass lawn! 

If I may suggest, why not a book about farang love, courting and marriage in Thailand since that'seems THE main reason we come to Thialand in the first place to spend our "golden years" and put up with a government that wants our money but not us. Thanks again for the great book, "My Thai Girl and I".

Serendipity1


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## Andrew Hicks

I'm thinking of a new title which shouldn't take too long to put together.

It will be one in a "Do It Yourself" series of books and it will have a picture of a Thai goddess on the front.

It will be called, "All I Know About Thai Ladies" by Andrew Hicks and the inside will be blank white paper.

As a "do it yourself" book, it will then be for the buyer to write the text.

It might even sell!

Andrew


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## Guest

You see Andrew, you are clearly heading for arhat status. You already realise that the more you know, the less you understand... (apologies for the paradox)

Hence the alleged wisdom of simplicity?


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