# Adapting to life in Spain



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

What has been the most difficult aspect of life in Spain to adapt to for you?
I suspect this will depend a lot on what kind of place you're living in ie one that has a large British presence or not, and also if you came on your own or with others.
I came here so long ago it's difficult to remember all the sensations, pleasures and anxieties that I encountered. Random things I remember are wearing sunglasses in winter (if you really want to protect your eyes this is essential, but it's still something that doesn't come naturally to me and I'm yet to own a good pair of sunglasses. Initially this was because I constantly lost all important items like keys, purse, glasses, but I'm happy to report a more mature approach to personal belongings now!) 
Also the Spanish way of dividing the day caused me much confusion. Morning is up to lunch time and lunch time is anything from 14:00 to 16:00 and afternoon includes 20:00 which is not at all how I was brought up. I remember going into a pub with Spanish OH at 6pm on the dot and being greeted with good evening which threw us both for a moment, but my recovery was much quicker than his!
But some things that struck a chord with me in this article were* Ask Questions* and *Assumed Knowledge* and both especially in reference to schools and doctors visits. If you don't ask the questions you'll not get the info in many instances, not because they don't want to give you the answers, but the information is not offered. This can lead to much misunderstanding from they don't give you necessary details, to they are racist because they never tell foreigners anything, to they are totally disorganised...
Life isn't always easy in a foreign land 
Adapting to life in Spain


> *Ask Questions *
> With regards to daily life and the system in general, people know instinctively what to do, where to go and what to bring. For example, if you need to visit the town hall for whatever reason, unless you ask what specific documentation is required, you will not be told. In order to make life easier, you need to get into the habit of asking questions as commonplace knowledge to the Spanish is foreign and new to us.


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## Simon22 (May 22, 2015)

I am struggling with the haphazard timekeeping of everyone I am dealing with. Often I am just about to give up and find someone else when they respond to my email. I have been warned that things take longer but geez!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Simon22 said:


> I am struggling with the haphazard timekeeping of everyone I am dealing with. Often I am just about to give up and find someone else when they respond to my email. I have been warned that things take longer but geez!


Make sure you don't expect things to be quick, then if they are it's a pleasant surprise. You've brought back a memory to me about going shopping in Valls and Tarragona in Catalonia, the place I first came to in Spain. The phrase "I'm just going to pop into the the shop for..." disappeared from my vocabulary as I realised that "popping" didn't happen around there. I well remember being behind a woman in the butcher's who was not only buying parts of animals that I hadn't realised were on sale (oreja = ear, mollejas = stomach,/guts/ gizzard...) but was taking For Ever about it. The shopping list was peppered with anecdotes about the daughter, the son in law etc etc... Frustrating and still frustrating today if you're in a hurry, but as I say there are things that you should never expect to do in a hurry like the shopping or anything bureaucratic...


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## Simon22 (May 22, 2015)

I am getting better, just this morning I was enjoying someone chatting in Spanish at the checkout as I am now able to understand about 1 in 10 words instead of 1 in 20 last week! :lol:


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Nothing really, we had an easy transition as after living in Prague we felt we could cope with most things in life. We found dealing with necessary paperwork to be problem-free, once you had done a bit of basic fact-finding. People in official positions were without exception friendly and helpful. 
Re wearing sunglasses all the year round: I have had to wear either sunglasses or those transition lenses for years as my eyes are ultra-sensitive to light. Get yourself a pair of Oakleys....I have been an Oakley fan since discovering them in Canada in the 1990s. They aren't that expensive as they are virtually indestructible and last for years - you can buy new lenses when your old ones get scratched as they inevitably do.
Beware of buying on e-bay or anywhere but the Oakley store online or in good opticians. There are many fakes around.


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Yes, the change of pace is something we must adjust to if we're not to find life a constant irritation. Coming from working in the centre of a big city in the UK I had to get used to not striding everywhere at top speed, and as you've said, standing around in shops whilst people chat with the assistants - even after they've finised getting served and you think it's your turn at last!


Other things I had to get used to were:-

Keeping all the windows closed and the blinds down during the daytime in Summer, and the fact that's it warmer outside than it is in the house during the daytime in Winter. You put warmer clothes on to come inside, rather than putting your coat on to go out.

How long it takes to get served if you have to visit the bank. I hardly ever have to go into the branch these days for which I'm truly thankful.

The "quien es la ultima?" system of queuing, where everybody stands or sits around all over the place and you have to know who was the last person to arrive before you to know when it will be your turn. That has been replaced by the numbered ticket system in most offices and supermarket deli, meat or fish counters now, thank goodness, but not in the bank.

There are a lot of things I've never had to deal with in Spain that I know cause problems for other people, like employers, landlords or anything to do with driving or owning a car, so I think I get off lightly.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Good point about Assumed Knowledge. We've all seen European visitors in the UK in bars and cafes, patiently waiting at a table for someone to come and take their order. 

The equivalent in Spain is knowing to ask "¿quién es la última?" (who's last?) when there are people waiting but no apparent queue - then you know you're next after them.

I found it hard at first to adapt to shops and offices closing at 2 pm, because I saw evenings as social time rather than shopping time so tried to fit everything in in the morning. I've adapted now, but British friends who have holiday homes here always want to meet for a drink at 8 pm, which is way too early for me. Yesterday I suggested meeting at 10 pm when the temperature had cooled down but they looked at me aghast - "we usually go to bed at 11.30!"


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

mrypg9 said:


> Nothing really, we had an easy transition as after living in Prague we felt we could cope with most things in life. We found dealing with necessary paperwork to be problem-free, once you had done a bit of basic fact-finding. People in official positions were without exception friendly and helpful.
> Re wearing sunglasses all the year round: I have had to wear either sunglasses or those transition lenses for years as my eyes are ultra-sensitive to light. Get yourself a pair of Oakleys....I have been an Oakley fan since discovering them in Canada in the 1990s. They aren't that expensive as they are virtually indestructible and last for years - you can buy new lenses when your old ones get scratched as they inevitably do.
> Beware of buying on e-bay or anywhere but the Oakley store online or in good opticians. There are many fakes around.


OK I'l look at Oaklies.
On the adapting though, I'm sure there must be something like Alca and Lynn mention.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Much depends on where you are in Spain. In large cities such as Madrid, I guess, there is less of the chitchat while waiting to be served because, frequently, you are not acquainted. In the villages and other more rural outposts where for most, the dreaded ticket system has not been necessary, shops and health centres, etc, are the equivalent of 'facebook' where people socialise and gossip. Personally, I like that relaxed friendly attitude, people are more patient and in addition to finding out about people, you get lots of other information, such as where to buy the best..., or who has got a news stock of..., who has taken a turn for the worse and may need to be visited while there is still time, etc.

If you are new to Spain (especially in our part of Andalucía) you can gain much credibility just by greeting people and being polite, get to know the names of people so that you can personalise the greeting. "Hola, Don José, buenos días" goes much further than just "Hola." You will get to know that you are part of the system when you wall into a mall shop and say "Hola" to the shop (i.e. to everyone in it. Just remember to not do it if you go back to bighty!


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## Simon22 (May 22, 2015)

Alcalaina said:


> Yesterday I suggested meeting at 10 pm when the temperature had cooled down but they looked at me aghast - "we usually go to bed at 11.30!"


My wife had a friend round last night and 11pm I went to bed, the problem is I am getting up at 6am every day for no reason. I can't go back to sleep so I am trying to siesta as well but I am still waking at 6am.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Simon22 said:


> My wife had a friend round last night and 11pm I went to bed, the problem is I am getting up at 6am every day for no reason. I can't go back to sleep so I am trying to siesta as well but I am still waking at 6am.


Did you used to get up at 6 before you came to Spain? It's very hard for your body to change its daily sleep patterns. Have you tried going to bed a little bit later every night? What time do you eat?

But in this hot weather it must be quite nice to be up that early. I rarely emerge before 9am, but I hate getting up in the dark.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

baldilocks said:


> Much depends on where you are in Spain. In large cities such as Madrid, I guess, there is less of the chitchat while waiting to be served because, frequently, you are not acquainted. In the villages and other more rural outposts where for most, the dreaded ticket system has not been necessary, shops and health centres, etc, are the equivalent of 'facebook' where people socialise and gossip. Personally, I like that relaxed friendly attitude, people are more patient and in addition to finding out about people, you get lots of other information, such as where to buy the best..., or who has got a news stock of..., who has taken a turn for the worse and may need to be visited while there is still time, etc.
> I don't live in Madrid, but in a large town 30kms outside. Still the butcher in the local market knows exactly who I and my family are, as did the chicken man (now closed), the fishmonger and the people in the oldest stationer's. There are large supermarkets, but many of the people serving on the meat and cheese counters have just the same relationship with their clients as they did in the more traditional markets. The supermarkets operate on a similar level to the old butcher's, baker's and general stores except they're all together under one roof.
> That's not the case of course in the big out of town centres with hipermercados, and there are a lot of people in this town that do their shopping in these areas
> If you've ever seen "Cuentame" (Spanish series which was very good for the first and second seasons and then ... ) their life was very much the "Barrio" which to all intents and purposes was like a village within a town and is what I still see in the parts of Madrid that I'm familiar with, like the Dos de Mayo area or even Lavapies with all its cultural diversity.
> ...


...


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

baldilocks said:


> Much depends on where you are in Spain. In large cities such as Madrid, I guess, there is less of the chitchat while waiting to be served because, frequently, you are not acquainted. In the villages and other more rural outposts where for most, the dreaded ticket system has not been necessary, shops and health centres, etc, are the equivalent of 'facebook' where people socialise and gossip. Personally, I like that relaxed friendly attitude, people are more patient and in addition to finding out about people, you get lots of other information, such as where to buy the best..., or who has got a news stock of..., who has taken a turn for the worse and may need to be visited while there is still time, etc.


No ticket system here in Alcalá either. I like the analogy with Facebook. It's great fun waiting in the farmacia hearing about everybody's illnesses.  It's one of the few air-conditioned public places in the village, so people tend to stay in there rather longer than they need to.


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Alcalaina said:


> Did you used to get up at 6 before you came to Spain? It's very hard for your body to change its daily sleep patterns. Have you tried going to bed a little bit later every night? What time do you eat?
> 
> But in this hot weather it must be quite nice to be up that early. I rarely emerge before 9am, but I hate getting up in the dark.


Before we came to Spain, our alarm clock was always set for 5.45 am on weekdays, and we thought we might have trouble adjusting to getting up later. Not a bit of it, immediately we found ourselves not waking until between 8-9 am and often in winter when the mornings are darker it can be later than that.

For that reason, we eat breakfast and lunch later than we would have done in the UK, but still eat between 7-8pm in the evenings which is the same time I would have had dinner in the UK after getting home from work. I get too hungry to wait longer than that, and don't like to eat late before going to bed anyway, nor do we tend to like to eat our largest meal in the middle of the day. I still go to bed between 11 pm and midnight, although I might read for a while before going to sleep. I cannot take a siesta, I just feel terrible when I wake up if I ever fall asleep in the afternoon, quite light headed and "spaced out". 

I never found it difficult to adjust to the different shop and office opening hours here, I just use the "quiet time" in the afternoon to do something else such as going to the gym (which is brilliant because there is hardly anybody else there and i can have the swimming pool pretty much to myself), household chores or just read a book.


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Adapting to life in Spain can involve a little bit of resourcefulness. My husband (at my request) has just lowered the laundry basket down from the roof terrace by means of a hook on the end of a cord, so I don't have to trek up there to get it and can iron my sheets.


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## Simon22 (May 22, 2015)

Alcalaina said:


> Did you used to get up at 6 before you came to Spain? It's very hard for your body to change its daily sleep patterns. Have you tried going to bed a little bit later every night? What time do you eat?
> 
> But in this hot weather it must be quite nice to be up that early. I rarely emerge before 9am, but I hate getting up in the dark.


What with timezone changes and life stresses I am just grateful to be sleeping well at the moment. I would like to be sleeping later and staying up later but time will do that, I'm not worried about it. 

At 5, or 6am it is cool and quiet and I can have my coffee in peace on the balcony. Then I just have to wait for the shop to open so I can start my day!


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## Simon22 (May 22, 2015)

Lynn R said:


> Adapting to life in Spain can involve a little bit of resourcefulness. My husband (at my request) has just lowered the laundry basket down from the roof terrace by means of a hook on the end of a cord, so I don't have to trek up there to get it and can iron my sheets.


Stop right there, no need to iron the sheets, hang nicely and fold when dry. I learned that in Australia and taught my English mother to do it. The less time spent ironing the better. Have a glass of wine instead!


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Simon22 said:


> Stop right there, no need to iron the sheets, hang nicely and fold when dry. I learned that in Australia and taught my English mother to do it. The less time spent ironing the better. Have a glass of wine instead!


Sorry, just doesn't cut it for me. There is something nice about getting into a bed with freshly ironed sheets (well, provided you let them cool down first).

One is not about to let one's standards slip because one has moved to Spain, don'cha know.

And I do not drink alchohol in the middle of the day, that is the slippery slope towards expat alcoholism.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Simon22 said:


> Stop right there, no need to iron the sheets, hang nicely and fold when dry. I learned that in Australia and taught my English mother to do it. The less time spent ironing the better. Have a glass of wine instead!


I'm with you on that one. I haven't ironed sheets (except for my MIL's) for years and I have all cotton. Likewise towels, underwear... I just don't care if they are wrinkled. I do however have a large pile of ironing to tackle right now. I do like my clothes to be well ironed, and just don't like the large majority of synthetic fabrics.
We all make our own choices I guess!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Lynn R said:


> And I do not drink alchohol in the middle of the day, that is the slippery slope towards expat alcoholism.


Rubbish Lynn!
Alcoholism depends on the person, not when you do the drinking, at least that's true for me


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## Simon22 (May 22, 2015)

Lynn R said:


> Sorry, just doesn't cut it for me. There is something nice about getting into a bed with freshly ironed sheets (well, provided you let them cool down first).
> 
> One is not about to let one's standards slip because one has moved to Spain, don'cha know.


Haha, fair enough, but I wouldn't notice the difference and I know my wife would not so I don't bother.



Pesky Wesky said:


> I'm with you on that one. I haven't ironed sheets (except for my MIL's) for years and I have all cotton. Likewise towels, underwear... I just don't care if they are wrinkled. I do however have a large pile of ironing to tackle right now. I do like my clothes to be well ironed, and just don't like the large majority of synthetic fabrics.
> We all make our own choices I guess!


I only iron work stuff and that's quite rare at the moment! 



Pesky Wesky said:


> Rubbish Lynn!
> Alcoholism depends on the person, not when you do the drinking, at least that's true for me


True, I thought you could have a wine after the siesta, or have I been doing it wrong?


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## Chica22 (Feb 26, 2010)

Many English people, including ourselves, moved from a large city in the UK, to a small(ish) village in Spain and that is where, I think, many of the differences are.

We moved, many years ago, from a large city in the UK, to a small village. One day my Spanish OH, called for petrol on the way to work, when, in his words 'a man started talking to me, asking me about my car, mileage etc.' The first thing OH did is put his hand in his back pocket and hold on to his wallet!!!!. 

We found it strange for quite some time that people would not only greet us but take time to talk to us. This was never the case working/living in a large city, and I think it is no different here in Spain. We visit Madrid and would never dream of saying 'hola' to a stranger, whereas in my mother in law's village it is 'expected' that everyone greets each other.

OH went to the UK over 40 years ago, and whilst times have now changed, some of the difficulties he faced were

Sitting at a table in a bar, expecting someone to come and serve him
Going into a pub and asking for a coffee (many years ago pubs in the UK just did not serve coffee)
Ordering a meal and not getting bread (this also included at family gatherings)
People in bars/shops calling him 'love'...(this took him a long time to get used to!!!!)

Moving to a different country is always difficult, and believe me, if you move as a 'foreigner' to the UK, you would encounter similar beaucracy as here, (registering with a Doctor, registering on the Electral Roll, changing for a UK driving licence, registering with the Spanish Embassy)but without anyone trying to help you by speaking in English (or speaking slowly), and without the services of a Gestor.


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Posted on wrong thread. Had a small glass of wine around four hours ago.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Pesky Wesky said:


> ...


same here - something like 30,000 population, so not exactly a village.... 

I'm recognised in the shops I use regularly - including a biggish supermarket which I only started using on a more regular basis at the beginning of the year. I'd always used it, but now that it's the closest since we moved, I use it more often

Can be useful sometimes - I went in the other day & one item in my basket was loo paper. The cashier told me that my elder daughter had been in an hour earlier & bought some  I had no idea that she'd have known who my elder daughter was, since she is hardly ever seen with 'mum'............

it can mean that shopping takes a long time if I'm 'doing the rounds', so I just leave that until the weekend


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Alcalaina said:


> No ticket system here in Alcalá either. I like the analogy with Facebook. It's great fun waiting in the farmacia hearing about everybody's illnesses.  It's one of the few air-conditioned public places in the village, so people tend to stay in there rather longer than they need to.


there's a ticket system at the meat & fish counters, & the deli

everyone ignores it.........

the only place I've seen a ticket system operate with any efficiency is in our correos - & we're all very grateful for it since it means we can sit & chat while they dig through the back looking for parcels - & the OAC (oficina de atención ciudadana) , our sort of 'one stop shop' for all almost things ayto related


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Rubbish Lynn!
> Alcoholism depends on the person, not when you do the drinking, at least that's true for me


You didn't notice the grin, then? It was a j-o-k-e - honestly, people can take every throwaway remark so literally sometimes!


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

xabiachica said:


> there's a ticket system at the meat & fish counters, & the deli
> 
> everyone ignores it.........
> 
> the only place I've seen a ticket system operate with any efficiency is in our correos - & we're all very grateful for it since it means we can sit & chat while they dig through the back looking for parcels - & the OAC (oficina de atención ciudadana) , our sort of 'one stop shop' for all almost things ayto related


It's used in Mercadona here, almost always at the fish counter although if it's not busy they don't always bother. Obviously they don't use the system in the small shops so there's no lack of opportunity to hang about listening to chit chat if that's what floats people's boats.

I don't know what they have against the "dreaded numbered ticket system" anyway. Do they imagine everybody is struck dumb because they're clutching a numbered ticket? I've had many a pleasant chat with people I've never laid eyes on before whilst sitting waiting in the OAC, the Endesa or Aqualia office, Correos, the admin office at the centro de salud, etc.

Same at bus stops, but we do that in the North of England anyway so no change for me to adapt to there!


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## Isobella (Oct 16, 2014)

Our two closest Spanish neighbours go to bed around 11.30 even though they don't eat until 10pm. They are both up early for work and the kids leave for school at 8am. We never eat until 8 to 8.30 in both countries a habit from My young days in London when everyone met in the pub after work. Once arranged to meet some British for dinner in Spain and they looked horrified when I said I would book a table for 8pm.

Never recognise anyone working in the supermarkets in Spain as they are all on 6 months contracts. One young woman I do know has probably worked in every shop I San Pedro

Lynn, carry on with the ironing, I iron them too. I even iron tea towels.


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

Isobella said:


> Lynn, carry on with the ironing, I iron them too. I even iron tea towels.


Oh I will, it's my house and I'll do what I like in it, other people can please themselves what they do in theirs.

The wife of a former colleague of mine used to iron not only tea towels but also his socks. I don't go quite that far.


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## Rabbitcat (Aug 31, 2014)

I find ironing quite dangerous
The amount of times I have burnt my ear when the phone rings


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Lynn R said:


> You didn't notice the grin, then? It was a j-o-k-e - honestly, people can take every throwaway remark so literally sometimes!


Grin or no grin I felt it needed to be said!
Sorry if it annoyed you.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

SWMBO gets up 6.30 takes dogs for first walk then does her exercises while I have my ((sh²)²), then it is breakfast. Lunch is at 1 - 1.30, tea (merienda) at 7, bed 11 (it's not good to go to bed while the stomach is still digesting a large meal.)

Sheets don't get ironed here. Straight in from the line and smoothed on to the bed (use good quality, high thread-count pure cotton sheets) they smell fresh and not of slightly scorched cotton.

When we first arrived I vaguely remember seeing ticket machines in Iberplus and Mas-y-mas but both have gone - they were never used.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Chica22 said:


> People in bars/shops calling him 'love'...(this took him a long time to get used to!!!!)




My hairdresser calls me_ hija_ - yet I'm old enough to be his mother.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Chica22 said:


> Many English people, including ourselves, moved from a large city in the UK, to a small(ish) village in Spain and that is where, I think, many of the differences are.
> 
> We moved, many years ago, from a large city in the UK, to a small village. One day my Spanish OH, called for petrol on the way to work, when, in his words 'a man started talking to me, asking me about my car, mileage etc.' The first thing OH did is put his hand in his back pocket and hold on to his wallet!!!!.
> 
> ...


Yes, I think some differences are just due to moving from a big place to a small place or vice versa, and some are due to changing your life from working to retired. Others, generally speaking are due to coming to a different country like things to do with 


 climate (sunglasses, controlling house temperatures, looking for the shady side of the street - not the sunny etc)
 food (if you eat traditional Spanish style more fish eaten, different food stuffs eaten, different preparation, olive oil etc)
 timetables (different meal times, different opening times, different bedtimes for the kids!),
 people (although many people, myself included think the British are capable of being polite, friendly, sociable and kind it is generally thought that the Spanish are at least a little more)
 schooling is still very different in state schools and that can be a very difficult adaptation,
I have found hospital care to be quite different and that's quite an adaptation too.
 I opened the thread because I found the article which mentioned the assumed knowledge and the asking questions which is something I have mentioned occasionally on the forum and quite a few times with old friends here, and as I said before, it struck a chord. I just wondered if any more people had other insights into this kind of thing, and what they found most difficult to adapt to.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Alcalaina said:


> My hairdresser calls me_ hija_ - yet I'm old enough to be his mother.


I often call ladies of my age and even older, "niña"


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Alcalaina said:


> My hairdresser calls me_ hija_ - yet I'm old enough to be his mother.


In the butcher's the assistant calls me (and all others) joven. He must be all of 20


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## 90199 (Mar 21, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> In the butcher's the assistant calls me (and all others) joven. He must be all of 20


I get called far worse than that……………..:heh:


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## Simon22 (May 22, 2015)

Rabbitcat said:


> I find ironing quite dangerous
> The amount of times I have burnt my ear when the phone rings


I remember that from a TV show, can't recall which one though


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## Helenameva (Aug 15, 2014)

My biggest problem with adapting to life here is the obvious one, the language barrier. I thought I was comfortable with Spanish and Catalan before I moved, but having to understand and communicate about anything other than idle chitchat (I'm thinking about trying to get all the official stuff done like NIE, SS, bank accounts) I found really frustrating, still do. I never thought I'd have a problem having been to night school for 5 years to study Spanish and coming here umpteen times for 10 years and being around my Catalan wife's family and friends. 

I remember how frustrated I felt at one point after a few months here, so much so I had a brief urge to wave a little white flag and surrender and go back to the UK where communication was easy and I knew what I was doing instead of feeling cloudy and not fully understanding everything all the time. 

I still switch off a lot when I'm trying to have a conversation, my brain struggles to cope with listening and concentrating on following what is being said, and not having a good enough vocabulary to properly say what I want to in Catalan.


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## Leper (May 12, 2010)

The question I most hate is:- What has Spain to offer to me?

This is the question from people who want to wait and wait and wait for others to make his/her transition to Spain favourable. Most of us woke up to "What can I do to make Spain favourable?" years ago.

We can talk here for hours, days, weeks, months, years but until you get up off your behind and do something to improve the life of people around you, you are wasting your time. Even uttering spontaneous good vibes will almost immediately welcome rewards. So, if you want an enjoyable life in Spain don't wait for things to happen, make them happen. [Rant Over]

JFK had it right "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Helenameva said:


> My biggest problem with adapting to life here is the obvious one, the language barrier. I thought I was comfortable with Spanish and Catalan before I moved, but having to understand and communicate about anything other than idle chitchat (I'm thinking about trying to get all the official stuff done like NIE, SS, bank accounts) I found really frustrating, still do. I never thought I'd have a problem having been to night school for 5 years to study Spanish and coming here umpteen times for 10 years and being around my Catalan wife's family and friends.
> 
> I remember how frustrated I felt at one point after a few months here, so much so I had a brief urge to wave a little white flag and surrender and go back to the UK where communication was easy and I knew what I was doing instead of feeling cloudy and not fully understanding everything all the time.
> 
> I still switch off a lot when I'm trying to have a conversation, my brain struggles to cope with listening and concentrating on following what is being said, and not having a good enough vocabulary to properly say what I want to in Catalan.


I had forgotten to add language to my list and know exactly what you mean about frustration and switching off


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Leper said:


> The question I most hate is:- What has Spain to offer to me?
> 
> This is the question from people who want to wait and wait and wait for others to make his/her transition to Spain favourable. Most of us woke up to "What can I do to make Spain favourable?" years ago.
> 
> ...


I don't think there's anything wrong with wondering what Spain can offer you or your family when considering immigration. It seems a natural question to me.
Of course, it goes hand in hand with "what can I do to make my life more enjoyable here?"


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## alborino (Dec 13, 2014)

Helenameva said:


> I still switch off a lot when I'm trying to have a conversation, my brain struggles to cope with listening and concentrating on following what is being said, and not having a good enough vocabulary to properly say what I want to in Catalan.


Yup spot on for me. Always laugh when posts say "we hope to quickly pick up the language when we get there" 

Last night I went to the theatre to see a black comedy "Carne de gallina". It was excellent and all 8 actors the best I'd seen at our little theatre. The jokes and even bits of slapstick came thick and fast. The audience (I'm glad to say about 100 on the second night so better numbers than I'd seen before ) burst into laughter multiple times. I was with them for about a fifth of them. It was a little frustrating missing so many jokes. 

But with from 2 to 7 actors on stage at all times, a corpse sometimes frozen in a funny position (how he kept still I don't know, brilliant static acting) plus live chickens even when they lost me with rapid dialog I was still amused. The facial expressions said so much (the actors, not the chickens ). 

ps: Even if your spanish is not great I really recommend a trip to the theatre. Read up on the story before you go of course. But be prepared to be frustrated


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## Isobella (Oct 16, 2014)

Does any of you participate on Spanish forums? They would be useful for both improving language skills and integration.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Isobella said:


> Does any of you participate on Spanish forums? They would be useful for both improving language skills and integration.


I tried on one, for vegetarians. I'm not a vegetarian, but very much enjoy veggie food. I lasted 2 posts and they pounced and got rid of me....
I should try again on some other forum 'cos you're right, it's very good practice


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I tried on one, for vegetarians. I'm not a vegetarian, but very much enjoy veggie food. I lasted 2 posts and they pounced and got rid of me....
> I should try again on some other forum 'cos you're right, it's very good practice


I've thought of it, but since I chat with Spanish friends & colleagues on FB & by whatsapp I haven't gone any further than thinking

do you remember that language forum we both used to be on


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Isobella said:


> Does any of you participate on Spanish forums? They would be useful for both improving language skills and integration.


I partake in "pueblos de españa" which is more about photographs of the various villages, although there is some discussion about who is in the pictures and I have even offered up a correction to somebody else's description. Also in Asociación de Estudios Culturales de Castillo de Locubín.


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## chica escocesa (Jul 23, 2012)

Let's not get too carried away with putting people off because of language. After all, we are all fluent in our native language - how did we manage that I wonder??! As a languages teacher (and lifelong linguist), I can tell you it's not impossible. However, people must be realistic, becoming proficient requires years of dedication. Despite being qualified to teach 3 foreign languages, I would say I am only truly fluent in 1 (apart from English and that is French). Instead of basically saying to people 'you'll really struggle, don't do it if you can't speak Spanish' etc etc, why don't we point them in the direction of some help? I'll start - try the BBC languages site, loads of good stuff on there.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

chica escocesa said:


> Let's not get too carried away with putting people off because of language. After all, we are all fluent in our native language - how did we manage that I wonder??! As a languages teacher (and lifelong linguist), I can tell you it's not impossible. However, people must be realistic, becoming proficient requires years of dedication. Despite being qualified to teach 3 foreign languages, I would say I am only truly fluent in 1 (apart from English and that is French). Instead of basically saying to people 'you'll really struggle, don't do it if you can't speak Spanish' etc etc, why don't we point them in the direction of some help? I'll start - try the BBC languages site, loads of good stuff on there.


I think British people who learn to be proficient in another language as adults are in the minority. It's not impossible, but few have the dedication or interest or the time that is needed. Yes, people can and should learn some Spanish and yes, people are constantly encouraged to do so by many members of this forum, as I'm sure you know and here are some threads that illustrate this

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/spain-expat-forum-expats-living-spain/80887-learn-lingo-2.html

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/spain-expat-forum-expats-living-spain/46571-castellano-fatigue.html

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/sp...001-cheapest-options-learn-spanish-spain.html

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/spain-expat-forum-expats-living-spain/71572-learning-spanish.html

But that's not the purpose of this thread
:focus:


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

The language:
In my experience, the natives are quite forgiving and helpful, if you try. What they don't like is when they speak to somebody, that person just puts his/her head down, looks the other way and hurries on past - that is just plain rude! When I encounter it I call after them ("Ignorant ***!") because, in almost every case they, appear to me, to be fellow Brits.

I, in common with some Spaniards (I heard, yesterday "La problema") sometimes get my genders for non animate things mixed up, such as this morning I called out to the cartera (she has a new hat to keep off the sun) "Me gusta mucho _la_ sombrero!"


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## chica escocesa (Jul 23, 2012)

Sorry Pesky, umpteen other people are allowed to comment on it but when I do it's 'back to topic'?? 

In general I find the tone on here quite negative at times. Yes, people are flippant about the language and they don't realise what's involved but I definitely think respondents could be more positive about how to go about learning and how they have been successful. People will respond better to that.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I
> But that's not the purpose of this thread
> :focus:


But the thread is "Adapting to life in Spain" so I would have thought "Learning Spanish" was very much to the point of the thread.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

chica escocesa said:


> Sorry Pesky, umpteen other people are allowed to comment on it but when I do it's 'back to topic'??
> 
> In general I find the tone on here quite negative at times. Yes, people are flippant about the language and they don't realise what's involved but I definitely think respondents could be more positive about how to go about learning and how they have been successful. People will respond better to that.


Well, I did make an attempt in post 34, 


> I opened the thread because I found the article which mentioned the assumed knowledge and the asking questions which is something I have mentioned occasionally on the forum and quite a few times with old friends here, and as I said before, it struck a chord. I just wondered if any more people had other insights into this kind of thing, and what they found most difficult to adapt to.


But it's a bit like trying to herd cats.

I find comments about how the forum is negative, very negative in themselves, especially when the only thing many posters are trying to do is inform

That's the forum for you!


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

baldilocks said:


> I, in common with some Spaniards (I heard, yesterday "La problema") sometimes get my genders for non animate things mixed up, such as this morning I called out to the cartera (she has a new hat to keep off the sun) "Me gusta mucho _la_ sombrero!"


I'm watching a BBC crime series called The Interceptor. Very good, except the bar where the Spanish drug-runners hang out is called "La Partido". Naughty BBC, standards are falling!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

baldilocks said:


> But the thread is "Adapting to life in Spain" so I would have thought "Learning Spanish" was very much to the point of the thread.


Look, I don't really care, but I would _prefer _the thread not to go off on what I see as a tangent because what I was really interested in hearing about were the less tangible aspects of adaptation like the idea that I have come across myself that in many Spanish public offices you are expected to ask the pertinent questions, but the information is not automatically available to you on a fact sheet that is so popular in the UK for example. Or that much public knowledge is assumed ie they are not used to dealing with or rather don't know how to deal with people who have come from outside the system in schools for example. So talking about adaptation, but not all the usual stuff

I don't think giving links to how people can learn Spanish is pertinent or useful to this thread and it's been done probably 500 times on the forum already.

However, if that's what everyone wants to do I'd much rather that people wrote about that than nothing at all


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## chica escocesa (Jul 23, 2012)

Just because it's been discussed lots of times doesn't mean people will have seen it - and before you say it some people just won't search! It's human nature, laziness! Anyway, I'm outta here, threads all yours!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

chica escocesa said:


> Just because it's been discussed lots of times doesn't mean people will have seen it - and before you say it some people just won't search! It's human nature, laziness! Anyway, I'm outta here, threads all yours!


Thanks!


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## Mushu7 (Jul 17, 2015)

Isobella said:


> Does any of you participate on Spanish forums? They would be useful for both improving language skills and integration.


I'd be interested in doing this. Without being too lazy can you recommend any?

I am on Money Saving Expert forum so if something similar to that exists would be great.

Any others that you recommend, that are more general in nature rather than specific to 'hobbie interests'.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Look, I don't really care, but I would _prefer _the thread not to go off on what I see as a tangent because what I was really interested in hearing about were the less tangible aspects of adaptation like the idea that I have come across myself that in many Spanish public offices you are expected to ask the pertinent questions, but the information is not automatically available to you on a fact sheet that is so popular in the UK for example. Or that much public knowledge is assumed ie they are not used to dealing with or rather don't know how to deal with people who have come from outside the system in schools for example. So talking about adaptation, but not all the usual stuff
> 
> I don't think giving links to how people can learn Spanish is pertinent or useful to this thread and it's been done probably 500 times on the forum already.
> 
> However, if that's what everyone wants to do I'd much rather that people wrote about that than nothing at all


Just as we do with restaurants/bars/cafeterías en route to places farther afield, where we find poorly translated menus and give them a good translation for free (they have been enterprising enough to make the attempt, so we support them) when we encounter information sheets but only in Spanish, we do a translation into English and give it to them to copy off for when they have an English person who needs the information. In fact we have just recently done one for the local hospital on Colonic Investigations.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

baldilocks said:


> Just as we do with restaurants/bars/cafeterías en route to places farther afield, where we find poorly translated menus and give them a good translation for free (they have been enterprising enough to make the attempt, so we support them) when we encounter information sheets but only in Spanish, we do a translation into English and give it to them to copy off for when they have an English person who needs the information. In fact we have just recently done one for the local hospital on Colonic Investigations.


it's people like you who do people like me out of business


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

baldilocks said:


> Just as we do with restaurants/bars/cafeterías en route to places farther afield, where we find poorly translated menus and give them a good translation for free (they have been enterprising enough to make the attempt, so we support them) when we encounter information sheets but only in Spanish, we do a translation into English and give it to them to copy off for when they have an English person who needs the information. In fact we have just recently done one for the local hospital on Colonic Investigations.


That's extremely good willed of you (if you can say that?!) and I agree it's nice to say thank you sometimes and this is a great way to do it, but I'm glad xabiachica wrote what she did as I'd be more likely to give them my business card, at least until I retired!



xabiachica said:


> it's people like you who do people like me out of business


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

xabiachica said:


> it's people like you who do people like me out of business


If they ask for other work, then they will be charged. We only do it for free as a token of our appreciation of their attempt to be helpful to foreigners who can't or won't speak/understand Spanish and also as a crafty pointing out that using the work of somebody who does not know what he/she is doing (probably some kid who is just learning at school) does them no favours. We do point out that, in future, they should get them translated properly because, when they are poorly done, it just makes them a figure of fun - how often do we have a laugh at the ridiculous translations we see of Japanese, Chinese, etc. menus


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

baldilocks said:


> If they ask for other work, then they will be charged. We only do it for free as a token of our appreciation of their attempt to be helpful to foreigners who can't or won't speak/understand Spanish and also as a crafty pointing out that using the work of somebody who does not know what he/she is doing (probably some kid who is just learning at school) does them no favours. We do point out that, in future, they should get them translated properly because, when they are poorly done, it just makes them a figure of fun - how often do we have a laugh at the ridiculous translations we see of Japanese, Chinese, etc. menus


not such a kind act then - a bit of 'advertising' 

it's expensive being IVA registered isn't it?


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