# Greeting people - Lesson 2



## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

I am pretty new to this forum and I don't know if this topic has been covered already. If it has, my apologies and please ignore this post.

Lesson 1 of greetings in Mexico is covered on the first day of every Spanish class (¿Como estas/esta? Bien, y tu/usted.) What you don't learn in those classes is that greeting people in Mexico is a contact sport with a rich and varied set of behaviors. For what it is worth, I would like share with new comers (and maybe a few old hands) what I have learned about the customs in a couple of years here. I am sure there are subtleties that I have missed so I welcome additions or corrections.

I will divide the discussion into two parts: first the actions, then a few comments on when you use each action.

The handshake, non-mexican style. This is just a normal handshake like you will find in the US and Canada and other places in the world.

The kiss. This is not really a kiss, it is more of a touching of the right cheeks sometimes accompanied by a smacking sound as if you were kissing. Heads always go to the left so that the right cheeks touch. Used between two women or between a man and a woman. Never by two men, this isn't Russia. The government tried to discourage this practice during the flu scare in 2009. The advice was generally ignored at least in Guadalajara.

The hug. Generally accompanied by the kiss (see above) for women or a man and woman. Between men it never includes a kiss. Between women or a man and woman the head goes to the left. Between two men, the head goes to the right and the hug is sometimes accompanied by three pats on the back.

Finally the mexican handshake. This is the most complex interaction. It is only used between two men. It can be composed of one of more of the following actions, often in combination. A traditional non-mexican handshake; a version in which the hand is tipped up and the fingers are wrapped around the other person's thumb instead of their palm, sometimes accompanied by a minor amount of thumb wrestling; the fist bump, one or both persons make a fist and gently bump it into the other person's fist or open palm. Frequently the fist bump is preceded by the palm slide. Both men extend their hands as if to shake but instead just slide them back towards themselves in contact with the other's palm before one of the variations of the fist bump.

So when do you use all of these? First realize that Mexicans take greeting much more seriously than the US does. It is typical for friends to greet each other with a hug and kiss every time they meet, even if they just saw each other the day before. In an office, people will exchange hugs and kisses with all of their co-workers every morning. 

The non-mexican handshake is always appropriate. Most mexicans will expect that this is what you will do as a non-mexican. In any formal situation (a job interview, meeting a "close" friend's parents for the first time), the non-mexican handshake is the appropriate action. 

Casual greetings between friends or casual acquaintances usually include a kiss if it is two women or a man and a woman. If it is two men greeting casually, some version of the mexican handshake is appropriate. 

The hug is common between close friends who haven't seem each other for awhile.

A comment for men on using the mexican handshake: Most mexican men will be surprised if you use this, surprised and delighted. It is a very quick way to make friends. Since they aren't expecting it, you will have to initiate it because they won't. But this is an advantage. One of the challenges of the mexican handshake is knowing what the other person is going to do. Is he going for a traditional handshake, a modified handshake or some kind of fist bump. But since you are going to initiate it, you get to decide what it will be.

That's it.

Will (In US)
Memo (In Mexico)


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