# In need of some friendly help...



## Daperfict1 (Nov 1, 2009)

Ok so I might be in a situation where I will be needing some help. Unfortunately, like most of us here, I don't have family or any friends, other than from work, here. So I'm throwing out some feelers here to see what some options you guys might have, or know of anyone that can help.

My situation is I work 12 hr shifts, in Abu Dhabi, and live in Dubai Marina. My job here is only for a 2 years or so. I moved to Dubai since my family would be coming out, and they would be able to get around easier, and be around more familiar walks of life, more things to do, etc. Otherwise, I would have lived near Abu Dhabi, probably in the Khalifa A area.

Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that my husband may not be able to move out here permanently like we had originally planned. However, we both think that having my daughter here with me permanently could be an option. She is 3 and I think she could benefit from the different culture and preschool here. Also, being that she is so young, she is ever changing, and I hate missing her milestones. In the past, I have unfortnately missed quite a few milestones with her when I was previously in the military, and want to spend any time I can with her. They just grow way too fast.  

I have done a lot of thinking on this, and I am looking into getting my hours to be cut down slightly, even though I doubt they will do that. I am going to look into a plan of the following, or something similar:

Ideal: Take her to Abu Dhabi early in the morning(5am?) where she would stay with a trusted someone until she went to preschool. That person would take her and pick her up. I would come and pick her up at that person's house after work (approx 6pm), and drive back to Dubai. Preferrably this person is not in downtown Abu Dhabi, so I wouldn't have to fight that traffic. 

In this scenario, I would be able to spend at least the 1.5 hour each way drive with her, along with the time we can spend at home. Otherwise, if it was someone in Dubai, that is 3 hours less, but not out of the question. Maybe having someone come over to the apartment before I left for work, and left when I returned home, still bringing her to preschool. She would have the afternoon off while she was in school. 

I would like your guys' point of views, and maybe some ideas of making this work. This job is only a temporary thing, unfortunately I have to sacrifice family time. I am willing to pay either hourly/daily/monthly.
I thought about sponsoring a maid but that is more of a long term committment I can't do. I use a maid from an agency once a week for 4 hours and talked to her about keeping her for the whole day but she was unwilling. Maybe a different one would be. But at the same time, they dont' start until 830am, and work until 4pm. My hours would be longer than that. 
Also, I was thinking of bringing out a cousin or someone from my extended family to live with me, but I can't think of how they could get a resident visa. 

So I would definitely appreciate any insight to this. Thank you!!


----------



## Free_Spirit (Aug 30, 2009)

Daperfict1 said:


> Ok so I might be in a situation where I will be needing some help. Unfortunately, like most of us here, I don't have family or any friends, other than from work, here. So I'm throwing out some feelers here to see what some options you guys might have, or know of anyone that can help.
> 
> My situation is I work 12 hr shifts, in Abu Dhabi, and live in Dubai Marina. My job here is only for a 2 years or so. I moved to Dubai since my family would be coming out, and they would be able to get around easier, and be around more familiar walks of life, more things to do, etc. Otherwise, I would have lived near Abu Dhabi, probably in the Khalifa A area.
> 
> ...


I feel sorry for you, I have the same situation, grapping time with my 1,5 y.o. daughter in the mornings and evenings as much as I can. Just an opinion - as much as you want to spend time with her, isn't it tough to wake her up at 5am!!!! Think what is the best for her, she is still very small. You will find nannies willing to work 12 hours a day, difficult but possible, that's what I am looking for now. Challenge - most of them don't drive, but you can hire a driver too. If she goes to school, there should be a bus available for extra money to pick her from your home and bring her back. Check on that. Another must - if you hire a nanny for her, take a copy of passport and visa and always keep with you, plus inform neighbors/security in the building about her presence and leave your mobile number. It's small precausions but they will help you to feel more secured to leave her with a stranger, which is still very very difficult. If you can have your relatives visiting you from time to time would be great. At least they will keep an eye on the stranger.


----------



## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

You could bring out a relative on a visit visa and just do visa runs to the Oman border every month.


----------



## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

What a sensitive subject.... 

Have all attempts been made in getting your husband to uae? Maybe someone here could assist you in some way of doing this if you give more info? 

12 hour shifts, with the long drive, are hard. I do them and wow, I couldnt imagine trying to have a lot of responsibility on top of working those shifts. Adding the drop off and pick up times, you are looking at 14+ hour days for your daughter being away from home. Those are long hard days with non family to rely on. If the maid/helper should decide one day she just doesnt want to come, then your stuck. If she is late, your stuck. If she ups and decides the hours are too long and just leaves, you have to find someone else to agree again to do this and you have no one here to trust a few days who can help you. This is what makes it so rough here. There is no family support for you. Do any of the other workers at your job have spouses who stay home? Maybe you could car pool together, and drop your child there and arrange a school to pick them up and drop them off from there? 

And all else, a job is a job is a job. Money is only money. 

If your previous military, a job shouldnt be that terribly hard for you to get at 'home' (if the usa is still home to you), even if your not making what you make here. 

Good luck!


----------



## Daperfict1 (Nov 1, 2009)

Wow thansk for the great insight. I didn't really even consider the fact that if the person was sick or if they just up and left etc... 

My job here is also in the states, I just wanted to come out here for a couple years before my daughter started Kindergarten to pay off some things, and then go back. You're right tho, money is only money... Time we can never get back. 

The guys at work have spouses most in AD, and one in Dubai marina here. I haven't met any of them yet since everyone in the shop has different days off and different shifts. The one here doesn't have a job or anything, I just haven't asked. I am a little apprehensive with her, only because I have heard a few things about drinking etc. Not sure if its an issue with her or not. I don't care if she drinks, just not around my daughter obviously  

Back home in California, my daughter gets up at 530 am and I can't pick her up till close to 5pm. She goes to bed around 730/8, so she gets some good sleep, along with her 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Either way, I do agree the day can get pretty long. The person would have to be willing to work over 12 since I work 12 myself, +drive time. However they don't have to watch her when she's at school of course. So, not sure how that would work. 

I might send out an APB to the family and see if there are any takers in coming out to live with me to watch her. Free room and board! hehe


----------



## Daperfict1 (Nov 1, 2009)

Thanks again for your insight. 

Does anyone know of a Nanny type or an agency that would be useful for this type of situation? I asked the maid that comes once a week about the possibility of hiring her for the job, but her hours don't cover the times I would need. 

Thanks,


----------



## Maz25 (Jul 6, 2008)

I drive to AUH 5 days a week and the drive is an absolute killer. It is very tiring and whilst this is your decision, I think it will be hard on your daughter to do that long journey every day. I struggle as an adult and can barely keep my eyes open when I get home because I am just so tired, so I would imagine it would be a lot harder on a 3 year old.

If your family will not be here permanently, why not move to AUH? You will be able to leave home a little later and get home earlier and ultimately use that extra time with your daughter. It would also be a lot easier to fit in your childcare needs with the normal working hours of a maid. I've had a few ads pushed under my door advertising child care and maid services and I'm in the Marina as well. Might be worth keeping an eye for them and giving any prospective nanny a trial before committing to anything just to see how they get on.


----------



## rsinner (Feb 3, 2009)

Maz25 said:


> If your family will not be here permanently, why not move to AUH?


Exactly what I was thinking as well. 
Life in AUH vis-a-vis Dubai is not as bad to make all the sacrifices/put in all the hard work that you are contemplating


----------



## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

I would assume she is stuck now in a lease  She could always try to get out of her lease, but with the current market, it is harder to rent places and they dont want to let you off the hook as they may not be able to rerent it. 

I say get a family member to come out for a nice vacation (ok, well just con them into thinking this is a great vacation spot)  and they get a pud job here for go out money.


----------



## brendamiranda19 (Feb 25, 2010)

*hi!! i think i can help..*



Hi my name is Brenda Miranda i leave in Mexico am looking for a job in the united states to pay for my studies. As you can speak english very fluently, that is because i live in texas almost 8 years and for some family issues i had to came b ack to Mexico.
I want you to know that am able to move to the united states, am very good with kids and am a responsable person.

If your intersted or want to know any thing else please let me know
For your attention
Thank you


----------



## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Do we think this person is looking for a job, a husband, or ?? 

Not the right forum brenda though, this is Dubai. I think you are looking for the America forum.


----------

