# Good area to live for lesbian couple?



## ina (Feb 26, 2009)

Besides Madrid and Barcelona, in which other areas in Spain are gays/lesbians accepted? I know that Spain is one of the most open countries in the world, but like everywhere, there are areas where it's a bit more conservative. We live in the U.S. right now, but since we're both Europeans (each from a different country), we would like to move back to Europe in 1-2 years to be closer to our families. So we decided on Spain because we like warm weather. We live in Hawaii right now, but in the USA we don't have any rights as a couple. So we were thinking to either move to the Costa Brava area, Costa Blanca, Costa del Sol or Costa de la Luz. Any recommendations? It doesn't have to be a specific gay/lesbian town. Just where we would be accepted and people wouldn't think weird of us. We're kind of private people anyway.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

ina said:


> Besides Madrid and Barcelona, in which other areas in Spain are gays/lesbians accepted? I know that Spain is one of the most open countries in the world, but like everywhere, there are areas where it's a bit more conservative. We live in the U.S. right now, but since we're both Europeans (each from a different country), we would like to move back to Europe in 1-2 years to be closer to our families. So we decided on Spain because we like warm weather. We live in Hawaii right now, but in the USA we don't have any rights as a couple. So we were thinking to either move to the Costa Brava area, Costa Blanca, Costa del Sol or Costa de la Luz. Any recommendations? It doesn't have to be a specific gay/lesbian town. Just where we would be accepted and people wouldn't think weird of us. We're kind of private people anyway.



If you're a nice couple, happy and friendly I dont think anyone would care whether your lesbian or not??! In my village there are several gay male couples and no one cares... its how they are that matters, not who they share a bed with with!!!

Jo xxx


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## rotarise (Aug 18, 2009)

yeah exactly...i dont know of any towns sorry but i know you´d be best in madrid..theres so many diffrent people theres race-color-funnylooking-gays that nobody would even bother to look your way even if your outfits all rainbowwwy and your making out with each other in a public place...hope you get your question solved soon though


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## ina (Feb 26, 2009)

rotarise said:


> yeah exactly...i dont know of any towns sorry but i know you´d be best in madrid..theres so many diffrent people theres race-color-funnylooking-gays that nobody would even bother to look your way even if your outfits all rainbowwwy and your making out with each other in a public place...hope you get your question solved soon though


Thanks for your answers. We're not the typical lesbian couple. We don't wear rainbow-colored outfits and both of us have long hair  Anyway, we were just curious if there are regions that we should put our focus on or avoid. We both like the ocean, so that crosses out Madrid. We both also prefer a smaller town, rather than big city. Thanks for answering me so quickly!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

ina said:


> Thanks for your answers. We're not the typical lesbian couple. We don't wear rainbow-colored outfits and both of us have long hair  Anyway, we were just curious if there are regions that we should put our focus on or avoid. We both like the ocean, so that crosses out Madrid. We both also prefer a smaller town, rather than big city. Thanks for answering me so quickly!



Maybe I'm naive but I cant see a problem wherever you are?? My town, Alhaurin de la Torre, which is 10 mins north of Torremolinos I'm sure wouldnt have any prejustices??? Certainly the village I live in (Alqueria) would be ok cos as I say there are several gay males who live here???

Jo xxx


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## rotarise (Aug 18, 2009)

okay ina i got the perfect spot then! castellon...in benicassim there you would fit in theres amny tourists year round and its right on the beach i was there today with my bicycle and saw a lesbian couple one chick was so hott but her partner was hidious looked like a long straw with bright bleached hair.<snip>
hope that helps you out a lil..its above Valencia which is a way bigger city


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Sitges is a gay area, but I agree with Jojo - any area is potentially a good - or bad area.


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

I would say about 10-15% of my home user customers are gay.....and I live in a very rural area, so it's no big deal here.


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## scharlack (Nov 21, 2008)

ina said:


> Thanks for your answers. We're not the typical lesbian couple. We don't wear rainbow-colored outfits and both of us have long hair  Anyway, we were just curious if there are regions that we should put our focus on or avoid. We both like the ocean, so that crosses out Madrid. We both also prefer a smaller town, rather than big city. Thanks for answering me so quickly!


Hello!

I also heard Sitges (out of Barcelona) is a great area for same-sex partners/couples. You may have more than a few options so look closely and see what fits you best and where you can get a job, etc, etc.

Good luck!


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## Guest (Aug 19, 2009)

How about, where we live in Los Alcazares. We have lots of gay friends both Spanish and English. We are bear the beaches and the wonderfull inland saltwater lagoon The Mar Menor. Take a look on Google.


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## Boaz7648 (Jul 3, 2009)

Hi Ina
Lots of Gay couples here in Conil on the Costa de la luz. Lovely Town, very very Spanish still and hope it remains that way
costadelaluz-conil.co.uk


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## Chica (Mar 23, 2009)

I know 4 gay couples in my town too. As I don't know them all I'm sure there are quite a few moreand as far as I'm aware they have not felt any predjudices and are open about it. I pair got married a year ago!!


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## Guest (Aug 19, 2009)

I think the general consensus of option is you will be welcomed wherever you choose to live. Spain is pretty liberal in its attitude towards gays. And just in case Chica is reading this, they even let you swim naked at midnight ;-)


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## owdoggy (Jul 23, 2008)

Choose an area on how it makes you feel & not if you reckon it's gay friendly (god that's an awful term ) or not. It's who you are, not what you are, that matters.
Hope you get sorted :yo:



Doggy


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## Expat Ben (Jul 28, 2009)

If its gay spain on the coast you want then "Sitges" would be ideal for you

Torremolinos also has a gay area in the centre 


Ben


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

rotarise said:


> bleached hair...are you sexy? *ARE YOU???*and if you ever wanna have a male im here waiting..lol


That sort of comment is typical of a certain type of male, the type most women, gay or straight, wouldn't want to get close to if they were the only man on a desert island.  Many women in gay relationships have been married - I wouldn't be so crass as to assume that the experience put them off men. Many women get along quite well without a man or a woman in their lives...
Back to the point: as Jo and everyone else has said, it's how you are not what you are that matters to most sensible people so you'll fit in anywhere. There may be loads of gay/lesbian couples in Marbella - I'm sure there are -but as they don't make out in the streets or wear Tshirts proclaiming their sexuality they don't stand out.
Spain is extremely liberal now and full same-sex marriage is permitted, not just Civil Partnerships as in the UK. Plus European Union anti-discrimination legislation offers full protection in employment and the provision of goods and services.
The area you choose depends on your lifestyle. If you're looking for nightlife then as someone has mentioned Sitges is a hot spot. I have gay male friends who go there every year.I don't know if there is much of a 'scene' for women.
If you are looking for a 'normal' peaceful life, anywhere will do, as again everyone has pointed out.
It might be better to stay away from the more touristy places along the Costas where you may be more likely to find the Neandertal types who think women become lesbian because they haven't found the right man.....


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## ina (Feb 26, 2009)

mrypg9 said:


> That sort of comment is typical of a certain type of male, the type most women, gay or straight, wouldn't want to get close to if they were the only man on a desert island.  Many women in gay relationships have been married - I wouldn't be so crass as to assume that the experience put them off men. Many women get along quite well without a man or a woman in their lives...
> Back to the point: as Jo and everyone else has said, it's how you are not what you are that matters to most sensible people so you'll fit in anywhere. There may be loads of gay/lesbian couples in Marbella - I'm sure there are -but as they don't make out in the streets or wear Tshirts proclaiming their sexuality they don't stand out.
> Spain is extremely liberal now and full same-sex marriage is permitted, not just Civil Partnerships as in the UK. Plus European Union anti-discrimination legislation offers full protection in employment and the provision of goods and services.
> The area you choose depends on your lifestyle. If you're looking for nightlife then as someone has mentioned Sitges is a hot spot. I have gay male friends who go there every year.I don't know if there is much of a 'scene' for women.
> ...



Well said! That sums it up well  

Thank you all for your great input. Since my partner and I aren't really looking for a "gay/lesbian scene," I guess we'll decide based on where we feel good and like it.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

ina said:


> Well said! That sums it up well
> 
> Thank you all for your great input. Since my partner and I aren't really looking for a "gay/lesbian scene," I guess we'll decide based on where we feel good and like it.


a gay lady I know here did intimate that she & her partner _had_ had some problems in this area - she was quite nervous about telling me that she is gay

I don't know if her experiences are usual for this area - I was surprised tbh - afaik there are a lot of gay peeps around here - but not _scene_ as such


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

*Gay Spain*



xabiachica said:


> a gay lady I know here did intimate that she & her partner _had_ had some problems in this area - she was quite nervous about telling me that she is gay
> 
> I don't know if her experiences are usual for this area - I was surprised tbh - afaik there are a lot of gay peeps around here - but not _scene_ as such


Yes, perhaps it should be made clear that in general there is a lenient attitude to gays, and that may lead to acceptance, but not necessarily. What I mean is they're not going to be putting out the flags to say yipeee another gay couple!!!!
And gays can legally adopt in Spain, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the general public are behind that decision made by the government.
Do you see what I mean??


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Yes, perhaps it should be made clear that in general there is a lenient attitude to gays, and that may lead to acceptance, but not necessarily. What I mean is they're not going to be putting out the flags to say yipeee another gay couple!!!!
> And gays can legally adopt in Spain, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the general public are behind that decision made by the government.
> Do you see what I mean??


I think homophobia is like racism. A small minority are unchangeable bigots, a small minority want gay/black etc friends to show how liberal they are and the huge majority have their own lives, cares etc ., aren't interested in other people's sexual habits and judge people on character etc.
You will meet bigots everywhere. They are the ones with the problem, not gays.


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

xabiachica said:


> a gay lady I know here did intimate that she & her partner _had_ had some problems in this area - she was quite nervous about telling me that she is gay
> 
> I don't know if her experiences are usual for this area - I was surprised tbh - afaik there are a lot of gay peeps around here - but not _scene_ as such


I wonder if her problems were with the usual moronic - type 'get yer tits out' Brits ?


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## Limoncella (May 6, 2009)

hello Ina, it's lovely and refreshing to see everybody on here thinks you will have absolutely no probs wherever you choose to live in spain. in the quiet area outside Malaga (Costa del Sol) i live, i know of at least two middle aged lesbians who live a quiet and very private life and a high profile professional lesbian couple in its early thirties who is not officially out. people know about them but they not gossip, which is cool. the fact that they are not out is because spain has been a catholic bastion for centuries and the older generations struggle with ANY sexual issue... i wish you the best of luck in your search! keep us informed


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## ina (Feb 26, 2009)

Limoncella said:


> hello Ina, it's lovely and refreshing to see everybody on here thinks you will have absolutely no probs wherever you choose to live in spain. in the quiet area outside Malaga (Costa del Sol) i live, i know of at least two middle aged lesbians who live a quiet and very private life and a high profile professional lesbian couple in its early thirties who is not officially out. people know about them but they not gossip, which is cool. the fact that they are not out is because spain has been a catholic bastion for centuries and the older generations struggle with ANY sexual issue... i wish you the best of luck in your search! keep us informed



Thanks for this info. I really appreciate it. I'll keep you posted once we move


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

mrypg9 said:


> I wonder if her problems were with the usual moronic - type 'get yer tits out' Brits ?


I don't know - I didn't delve into what had happened because she is a very shy person, and we'd only just met (she's a student of mine & it came up in the initial 'getting to know you & how much spanish you know conversation - I asked if she was married (in spanish - & thought I was safe knowing the answer since she wears a wedding ring!) with a bit of a push she did tell me - & half expected me to kick her out!

I was quite offended that she thought I might, actually

I haven't met her partner, but having got to know her pretty well now, I'd be surprised if they were 'in your face' as it were


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

Geography's not my strong point.....but there must be some serious unrest in Lesbia for them all to leave and come here.


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

XTreme said:


> Geography's not my strong point.....but there must be some serious unrest in Lesbia for them all to leave and come here.


An invasion of dim, prurient men, perhaps???

Mind you, never mind leaving Lesbia (wherever that is) I think I'd move out pretty quickly if people like that moved into my street!!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

mrypg9 said:


> Mind you, never mind leaving Lesbia (wherever that is)


I think it's somewhere between the Lebanon and Lithuania.....not a place you'd want to go for a weekend break I'll wager.

_(At this moment Jo is now probably consulting a world map)_


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

XTreme said:


> I think it's somewhere between the Lebanon and Lithuania.....not a place you'd want to go for a weekend break I'll wager.
> 
> _(At this moment Jo is now probably consulting a world map)_


Now how do you know I haven't been there? Or indeed that I'm not a native of the place?
Do the natives have distinguishing characteristics? Or do they look like us 'normal' people so it's hard to tell if they're not right next to you at this very moment?
Wherever they are or whatever they look like, I have learnt that some men are fascinated by these exotic creatures. I've even been told that some even pay good money to watch them practise their native customs
And some men are, for some strange reason, so disturbed by these odd foreigners that they utter ritual exorcistic curses and make embarrassed jokes to hide their anxieties at the very mention of them....
.
Maybe doctors could find a cure for those unfortunates who are unable to cope. I've heard that all they need is a good woman to sort them out....
Luckily, none of the men I've had relationships with have suffered from this kind of xenophobia


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

XTreme said:


> I think it's somewhere between the Lebanon and Lithuania.....not a place you'd want to go for a weekend break I'll wager.
> 
> _(At this moment Jo is now probably consulting a world map)_


Well, altho I dont know where it is, I have heard of it. I saw an article on the TV a while ago cos the president or whoever wasnt comfortable about the implication of the countries name!!

Jo xxx


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

mrypg9 said:


> I have learnt that some men are fascinated by these exotic creatures. I've even been told that some even pay good money to watch them practise their native customs


You're right there.....and frankly I'm quite bewildered by it. I would say that I'm actually in the minority as far as men are concerned cos I have absolutely no interest in them.

A number of guys (and even a few women) are surprised by this.....as if it's some fetish that afflicts _all_ men.

I'm _only_ interested in heterosexual ladies.....preferably wearing French Maids outfits!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

jojo said:


> Well, altho I dont know where it is, I have heard of it. I saw an article on the TV a while ago cos the president or whoever wasnt comfortable about the implication of the countries name!!
> 
> Jo xxx


I believe his name is Dick Van **** Jo!


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

XTreme said:


> You're right there.....and frankly I'm quite bewildered by it. I would say that I'm actually in the minority as far as men are concerned cos I have absolutely no interest in them.
> 
> A number of guys (and even a few women) are surprised by this.....as if it's some fetish that afflicts _all_ men.
> 
> I'm _only_ interested in heterosexual ladies.....preferably wearing French Maids outfits!


That surely must be a minority interest too? (That's my polite euphemism for fetish)
But I can't understand why some people are so intent on judging what people get up to in the privacy of their bedrooms or wherever. When you think of all the really scary stuff that's going on around the world.
The Pope must be the world's number one sex obssessive - and no apologies to RCs as I am one myself.


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## Maxman (Aug 24, 2009)

Oliva in Spain has a high degree of Older Gay men so worth looking around that region of Spain. Lesbians surely will be welcomed .

Lesbians in my neck of the woods unfortunately are to thin on the ground


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