# Expat eventually...



## tgree69 (Apr 13, 2016)

Hello everyone,
I hate to do it, but I need to ask yet another relationship question. Most answers I have looked for I have found easily doing research. This is more of an opinion type question for you salty expats and possibly your wives as well. Any guidance/opinions are appreciated.

I am 47 yrs old. I am a one time divorcee with no kids. I have always been attracted to Asian women. I have recently decided the meaning to my life will be to work hard the next ten to twelve years and retire to the Philippines far earlier than I would be able to USA. The reasons are all the same. In the interest of keeping this post succinct, I won't go into them.

Here is where I need some wisdom and direction. I have two plans I could pursue:

I could work for the next two years, take off six months, and go to Philippines to live. My intention would be to explore where I want to live in the future, but more importantly, and the biggest reason would be to meet my future wife to marry and bring back to the states temporarily until retirement. I am embarking on a mid life career change from middle management corporation to OTR truck driver. If I brought my wife back, I would like to see how she would like to explore while driving and living on the road. If she didn't, I have the experience to get a local driving job and be home daily.
I could just wait till I retire, move to the Phil and meet someone at that point.

I am not super lonely, that being the reason for sooner than later. The reason is because I would like a little less of an age difference than when I am 60. I have no issue with those that have large age gaps, I am happy if they found someone, I would just prefer within 20 years. There is also the children topic that i assume will come up. While i am not overly interested in having children at 47 yo, I definitely won't at 60. 

The reason this is even a question is, driving OTR the next twelve years I could save some serious money. I wouldn't buy a house and would live a minimalist lifestyle. I already have 120000 saved so i am well on my way. But, even if it took a little of my nest egg away to marry in two years, I would still have enough to do it.

Any thoughts? thanks by the way for all the valuable information already posted.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

Tgree69, wouldn't it be easier to find a Filipina or Asian women stateside, I met my wife in Washington state at a bar and I met several other Philippine women before we started dating. You are a truck driver so it's just a matter of knowing what cities have the most Asian ladies but any city with a Naval base would be a good start, wife didn't like it in the states, it's a solitary life and mind your own business, that won't work and she wanted kids, she couldn't have kids so we adopted and now we live in the Philippines.

You might find it more difficult to bring such a young lady here, age difference 20-40 plus they all want families, children and require Philippine friends to talk with, they are very social people, if your life is solitary it can depress the lady, she also might want to work, they all need to send money home unless you can afford to do this, so the main reason why I recommend meeting an Asian lady in the US, it's totally possible, I know because I dated several women stateside.


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## tgree69 (Apr 13, 2016)

Good points MCA. 

I do know for sure I would like to retire in the Phils. I would be able to so much earlier, and more comfortable financially, vs. the USA, plus i like adventure. With that in mind, I assumed the women in the USA already, would not want to move back to the Phils. That is why i really didn't consider American Filipina. I may be wrong tho.

From what I understand, the amount of money customarily sent to the family, isn't much US dollar. If i was running hard, like i would plan to if she went with, 100 or 200 would be affordable. No house payment, car payment, utilities, and such. Net gain.

But your best point, and really why i posted this in the first place, is the culture of the pinay. you explained that you believe she would be unhappy and feel isolated. I kind of already assumed this and agree with you but was looking for confirmation. I could still, and would have to anyways if kids, adjust from OTR to local and do the whole house, car, her working, kids ect. but a concern would be moving the "family" to the Phils later, not just me.

Thanks man for your response. Exactly what i was looking for- food for thought.


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## galactic (Dec 2, 2014)

If I were you I would go with "I could work for the next two years, take off six months, and go to Philippines to live." BUT I might ease on a bit and say go on a 2-3 week vacation first just to establish a "beach head" 

There are many women here within your requirements but the question is are you in theirs?
It's a gamble but it's worth a try. You might run out of luck or hit a jackpot.

Are you a church goer? Any charity works your involved in? 
That's a great way to meet new friends. And if the church or charity has an outreach here in the Philippines then that's a start in a positive direction.

Welcome. Goodluck. Keep us posted.


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## tgree69 (Apr 13, 2016)

galactic- Yes maybe a couple of weeks vacation would be appropriate over the next two years before going all in.

As far as your questions. Yes to both. I was raised Catholic, now just Christian, but i planned on dusting off the Catholic traditional mass and going to church there. That was definitely one of the places I hoped to meet some good women. I am currently part of a board that runs a Food Bank. It doesn't have any affiliations with anything internationally, or really even nationwide for that matter but good idea.

Thanks for the welcome and i appreciate your response.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

tgree69 said:


> galactic- Yes maybe a couple of weeks vacation would be appropriate over the next two years before going all in.
> 
> As far as your questions. Yes to both. I was raised Catholic, now just Christian, but i planned on dusting off the Catholic traditional mass and going to church there. That was definitely one of the places I hoped to meet some good women. I am currently part of a board that runs a Food Bank. It doesn't have any affiliations with anything internationally, or really even nationwide for that matter but good idea.
> 
> Thanks for the welcome and i appreciate your response.



The Iglesia ni Cristo Church is in several area's around the globe and the US, this church originated out of the Philippines so many of it's members are Filipinos.


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## northwoods (Nov 14, 2013)

*retirement ,*



tgree69 said:


> Hello everyone,
> I hate to do it, but I need to ask yet another relationship question. Most answers I have looked for I have found easily doing research. This is more of an opinion type question for you salty expats and possibly your wives as well. Any guidance/opinions are appreciated.
> 
> I am 47 yrs old. I am a one time divorcee with no kids. I have always been attracted to Asian women. I have recently decided the meaning to my life will be to work hard the next ten to twelve years and retire to the Philippines far earlier than I would be able to USA. The reasons are all the same. In the interest of keeping this post succinct, I won't go into them.
> ...


your plan seems very doable , you have many options .
welcome to the site .


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

Pretty much agree with Galactic. Filipinas are very social women and OTR trucking won't sit well with their outlook on life. Local trucking may be OK. This is from a former Trucker and Greyhound Driver who has done OTR & local routes. 

Work a couple more years, save some more and then come visit and find one in your age group, then proceed from there.

I think you will find that there will be less Family matters if you stay away from the younger ladies who still have the obligation to the family oldies whereas the more mature ladies won't have that obligation for you to contend with. As background, I am 77 & Asawa is 66. She has no parental obligation(both have passed on) and her siblings are doing well on their own. My matter is convincing her that she is not obligated to supporting (both financially and emotionally) her grown and now adult children, an endeavor which I have almost fully accomplished. 

As far as Religion, She is Catholic as are most Filipinas, I am non-practicing Presbyterian and it has worked out as long as we respect each others belief and thoughts. Even at that it does get a bit testy at times when her friends start pushing at me.

Fred


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## tgree69 (Apr 13, 2016)

Thanks Fmartin for your reply. I appreciate the wisdom that you spoke about. I will continue to give my plan some thought. Thanks again.


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

tgree69 said:


> Thanks Fmartin for your reply. I appreciate the wisdom that you spoke about. I will continue to give my plan some thought. Thanks again.


Not so much wisdom, as sometimes I question myself, but to try to give you some food for thought as there are quite a number of things to consider in what you are thinking. Do as much reading of the past posts in this forum to get some ideas and thoughts that you will need to consider. Good Luck and please realize that this is a completely different lifestyle here than what we are used to in the states as their thoughts and beliefs are based on a different culture. 

Fred


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

I might also mention that there does seem to be quite a number of Widows here as it does seem that the self-destructive lifestyle chosen by some of the men does bring about their early demise. In my Wife's CWL(Catholic Womens League) I would guess that of the approximately 40 or so that attend, probably 30 to 35 of them are widows varying from 45 to 90 years. By the insinuations I sometimes get from some of the younger ones at some of the gatherings (the last was a birthday party for the 90 year old last week)I have attended they are quite lonely with their lives and they are constantly reminding my Wife to be sure to invite me to the different gatherings and get-togethers. Just something else to put in your basket to think about.

Fred


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## tgree69 (Apr 13, 2016)

Thanks Fred. 

Yes i am open to women of most ages, basically between the age of 26-46, is what i am targeting. I agree that a widow would fit my lifestyle well. I won't date separated tho. Just not quite sure what that means and have heard lots of drama about it. Thanks again for your responses! I really do appreciate them.

Tom


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## tgree69 (Apr 13, 2016)

Need one more post...


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

tgree69 said:


> Thanks Fred.
> 
> Yes i am open to women of most ages, basically between the age of 26-46, is what i am targeting. I agree that a widow would fit my lifestyle well. I won't date separated tho. Just not quite sure what that means and have heard lots of drama about it. Thanks again for your responses! I really do appreciate them.
> 
> Tom


Separated means leave them alone - do not touch or go near - they are still legally and very much MARRIED and this can possibly result in very bad things for the foreigner.

Fred


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## time2trvl (Apr 12, 2016)

There is no divorce in the PI, so if a man leaves his wife, or wife leaves her husband, they call it being "separated". I saw somewhere else that if the sparated person goes to another country and "legally gets a divorce" that could work, probably wouldn't be recognized in the PIs. Short story is when you meet a lady in the PI, and she says she's not married, get specific. Ask, "Are you married?" I've heard that some will say they are not married to get a man "hooked" then hope the guy will spend the funds to try to get her freed of her prior spouse. Nightmare situation. If you don't use due diligence, you may find yourself filing paperwork to get married when all of a sudden, you find out there is an existing spouse. Basically, don't just ask if they're married, make sure they're SINGLE.


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