# private message - help?



## Sunnygirl2 (Jan 12, 2011)

Im new to this site and apologies if its obvious but try as I might I cannot figure out how to send a private message to a member?


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Sunny Lawyer said:


> Im new to this site and apologies if its obvious but try as I might I cannot figure out how to send a private message to a member?



The private message facility is activated after you've made 5 posts - which you have now!!

Jo xxx


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## Sunnygirl2 (Jan 12, 2011)

jojo said:


> The private message facility is activated after you've made 5 posts - which you have now!!
> 
> Jo xxx



And there was me thinking id at long last figured it out!!! thanks!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Sunny Lawyer said:


> And there was me thinking id at long last figured it out!!! thanks!



Sorry to spoil it for you !! Welcome to the forum

Jo xxx


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## ebied4ever (Jan 18, 2011)

Thanks jojo for delecration.


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## MR2012 (Jan 22, 2011)

ha I was just wondering this. thank goodness i'm not the only one that was confused about this!


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## karlzero (Nov 5, 2010)

i tought i was the only one...i just had to google the question (too embarassed to post it 
thanks for the clarification...
i might just go and post some more...
thanks again


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## Lanason (Sep 1, 2009)

So thats how its done:jaw:


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## Jodubai (Dec 7, 2011)

Thanks for the info, Ive just spent ages trying to figure this out and then thought hey maybe someone has posted about this!


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## Cairo Cathy (Nov 19, 2011)

Sunnygirl2 said:


> Im new to this site and apologies if its obvious but try as I might I cannot figure out how to send a private message to a member?



If you are new to forums always be aware that moderators and owners can read what you send in PM's.
Don't think they are private, they are not always.
If you have something to write in private then always make sure that what you write you dont mind Admin reading.
Also be aware that giving out your e mail address in a PM leaves you open to hacking your e mail accounts by admins.
Don't give any personal info out in PM's you don't mind sharing with admin or site owners.
All kinds of nasty stuff goes on in the background of many forums so always be aware.
They are good devices for collecting information.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Cairo Cathy said:


> If you are new to forums always be aware that moderators and owners can read what you send in PM's.
> Don't think they are private, they are not always.
> If you have something to write in private then always make sure that what you write you dont mind Admin reading.
> Also be aware that giving out your e mail address in a PM leaves you open to hacking your e mail accounts by admins.
> ...


There maybe a facility for admin/mods to read PMs, I dont know, I certainly wouldnt know where to start - and I dont think my co mods would either. The reason we dont like people coming on here and immediately start PMing is because the idea of a forum is to share knowledge, not secretly discuss things, so theres really no point in just trying to up your posts - discuss it on the forum and if its advertising or touting then dont - its annoying! Our regular posters dont want to be bombarded with people trying to advertise or tout for business - either on the open forum or by private message. If they want an advertising forum then they go to one - they come here for unbiased, friendly and informal info

Putting your personal details on the open forum is crazy - its read world wide and by spybots that harvest the info and fill up peoples e-mail accounts in no time and as for putting a phone number or an address?????????? Heck, anyone could phone you or turn up on your doorstep and could pretend they know you??!!! 

So as far as I know, private messaging doesnt get infiltrated by anbyone other than the receiver


Jo xxx


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## Cairo Cathy (Nov 19, 2011)

jojo said:


> There maybe a facility for admin/mods to read PMs, I dont know, I certainly wouldnt know where to start - and I dont think my co mods would either. The reason we dont like people coming on here and immediately start PMing is because the idea of a forum is to share knowledge, not secretly discuss things, so theres really no point in just trying to up your posts - discuss it on the forum and if its advertising or touting then dont - its annoying! Our regular posters dont want to be bombarded with people trying to advertise or tout for business - either on the open forum or by private message. If they want an advertising forum then they go to one - they come here for unbiased, friendly and informal info
> 
> Putting your personal details on the open forum is crazy - its read world wide and by spybots that harvest the info and fill up peoples e-mail accounts in no time and as for putting a phone number or an address?????????? Heck, anyone could phone you or turn up on your doorstep and could pretend they know you??!!!
> 
> ...


Yes many forums also have key words built into the software that ping up certain words and alert mods and owners to words being used in PM's like in advertising etc. You reminded me of that.

The answer is as I said never trust that what you say in a PM is private. Even if you are not advertising and it is just a conversation between 2 members which is quite innocent be aware that some forums do read them and do hack your private e mail address and computer through the ip.
It's common.
Make sure that your firewall is good when you use forums and watch your lights on your router if they are flashing very fast as you browse a loaded page. That often means someone is trying to attack your system. Just some tips for people not familiar with forums.

I should add then that if you do see your router flashing fast as you have loaded and are just reading just disconnect the router so they have to retry. Keep your router lights within eyesight ; )


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

Well if there is a facility to look at private messages it is news to me


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

MaidenScotland said:


> Well if there is a facility to look at private messages it is news to me


there IS no way we can read PMs - they really are PRIVATE MESSAGES in every way


we _can _read the visitor messages of every poster though - but that's not just because we are mods - everyone can read them


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Cairo Cathy said:


> Yes many forums also have key words built into the software that ping up certain words and alert mods and owners to words being used in PM's like in advertising etc. You reminded me of that.
> 
> The answer is as I said never trust that what you say in a PM is private. Even if you are not advertising and it is just a conversation between 2 members which is quite innocent be aware that some forums do read them and do hack your private e mail address and computer through the ip.
> It's common.
> ...



Having thought about your comments, actually I cant think of anything more boring and pointless than reading other posters PMs - This is an expat forum, not MI5. Apart from the possibility of a few spammers touting for business (who generally get ignored or reported), what others have to say to each other or their personal details arent really of interest to anyone, especially not the forum owner or mods! So lets keep things in context and not get too paranoid

Jo xxx


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## expatforum - rules (Apr 6, 2007)

Cairo Cathy said:


> If you are new to forums always be aware that moderators and owners can read what you send in PM's.
> Don't think they are private, they are not always.
> If you have something to write in private then always make sure that what you write you dont mind Admin reading.
> Also be aware that giving out your e mail address in a PM leaves you open to hacking your e mail accounts by admins.
> ...


Hi,
I would really appreciate you not writing such scare mongering comments without any actual knowledge of the facts and the way we run the site here. I can't speak for any other site but here are the facts on this site:

- Moderators admins *CANNOT* read PMs using the software on this site.
- We are legally bound to our privacy policy which can be read here.
- We are registered on the Data protection register with the Information Commissioner the UK under the number: Z1262812. 
- We would not risk any hefty fines or legal action that could arise from breaching our privacy policy

Regards
Bob


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## expatforum - rules (Apr 6, 2007)

Now the facts have been stated and any form of confusion cleared up I am closing this thread.


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