# The UKBA and Your Relationship



## NewYorkerinBritain (Jan 2, 2013)

Dear expats,

I've gained so much from this forum; it's helped me so very much. I feel much less alone reading all your posts.

I was wondering if any of you might share if/how the UKBA has affected your relationship? My apologies if this has been covered before. I did a search and it seems it hasn't....

How has the presence of the UKBA affected your relationship?

1) Not at all
2) Brought us closer
3) Has caused tension

I love my husband but I do feel the UKBA has brought tension to our relationship. He's optimistic about us getting the FLR(M) approved.

"Darling, why are you awake?"

"I'm worried about the visa."

"Oh, they'll approve it. Our case is so genuine, and if they refuse, I'll contest it."

(Me thinking, how?)

"I hate waiting."

"It won't be long."

"There's a nine-month backlog!"

"How do you know?"

"This forum--"

"Oh, you can't believe everything you read online. Go to sleep."

(him) "zzzzzzz"

He has a second passport, so his mobility isn't restricted. He'll miss me on his business trips this year but....

Am I right that one's spouse/fiancé(e) can't quite understand how nerve-wracking this process and waiting can all be?

I'd be interested in any of your feedback. Hope you had a good weekend.....

NYer in Britain


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## Leanna (Oct 22, 2012)

I hear you. While I could argue that the UKBA has brought us closer, its only brought us physically closer in getting our Fiancee visa approved. We have our PEO Appointment in Cardiff in a few weeks, and me, suffering from high anxiety at the best of time, is a mess trying to cope. I admit that logically I know that our application is good and solid, and we have everything we need, however, I just find myself thinking about it all the time, dwelling on the little things and just grumpy to be around. 

My husband is doing his best to keep me calm and relaxed - he is a lot more easy going than I am, so he's inclined to just say "It'll be approved, no problem!" and I'm the worrier. I'll just be glad when we know for sure that our FLR is approved and I can stay at least for another 2.5 years and start to work and live here. 

You applied by post? How long ago? Good luck on your application, I know how stressful it can be.


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## LaraMascara (Oct 19, 2012)

Well, the stress, both in money and in emotion, of the UKBA visa process, both the Spouse Visa, and now our upcoming ILR... HAS BEEN DRIVING US BOTH NUTS. 

It is VERY stressful. The stress has been really, really bad, and very hard on us both, in many ways. 

Living here, for months, yet knowing we still have ILR, was a killer.

Now, coming up to ILR, searching for mail for two years that meets their requirements, saving money for the fees, never using our overdraft, blah, blah, blah... Crazy making. 

Trying to keep everything perfect in our lives for ILR Is not easy. It has NOT been easy. 

Parking ticket? 
OHMYGAWDWEHAVETOPAYITRIGHTNOWORITCOULDEFFECTOURILRAPPLICATION.

Bad income this month? OHMYGAWDWEHAVETODOSOMETHINGRIGHTNOWORITCOULDEFFECTOURILRAPPLICATION.

Personally, I suspect that the stress has ruined many a relationship, and I consider us very... What? Strong? Lucky? Crazy... to be getting through it all OK. 

My in laws are stressed too. Which also stresses us. We don't want to stress my 70-something year old in laws. 

And, moving to the UK has been very stressful for me, in general. At times I have loved it and at times I have hated it. 

We have months before we apply and we are both already having bad dreams and losing sleep over it. 

I cannot WAIT till we are DONE with ILR. 

And, we had a relatively EASY spouse visa process. We applied, paid extra for a rapid response, and we got the visa maybe 6 days later. But, getting all the paperwork together was a nightmare! And it was expensive. And I was finishing my last two weeks of grad school. And I had to pack up mu whole life, and move. And I was planning the wedding. And then, quite suddenly, my father died. So, all of that made it much harder. 

We live in constant fear that they are going to say, 'OK, even tho you applied under the Old Rules, you NOW have to meet the NEW rules.' 

And for the visas, they want to be sure we are not broke, while taking all of our money in fees. 

I'm terrified they are going to stick me on 'The Ten Year Path' when we go for ILR. That would kill us. 

I cannot wait to be finished with the mess of ILR. 

Oh, but then... there is the passport. Which I hear is easier. But, I have UKBA PTSD. So, it will not be easy for me. 

If it's hysterical, it's historical. 

SIGH. 

I mean, it is fine, but, yes we have found it all very stressful - HA HA!


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## Leanna (Oct 22, 2012)

LaraMascara said:


> Well, the stress, both in money and in emotion, of the UKBA visa process, both the Spouse Visa, and now our upcoming ILR... HAS BEEN DRIVING US BOTH NUTS.
> 
> It is VERY stressful. The stress has been really, really bad, and very hard on us both, in many ways.
> 
> ...


So true. It's such a stressful procedure. Once we are done with our first step of FLR, I definitely want to get some feedback & advice about what we need to do over the next 2.5 for our next FLR, and hen again for ILR to make it easier. 

We will definitely be saving money in steps so it's not a huge chunk out all at once, but things like which paperwork to save, etc, will be helpful for us to get well organized in advance. 

Good luck with your ILR


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## BronwynBean (Nov 20, 2012)

The Stress i am under is a joke. Our visa application is for myself and our 2 children. Partner has already left for UK, so its just us here while we wait..... and wait..... and wait. I keep going over my visa application and finding small problems in my head. Hubby is the same, stop worrying you will be fine, its a legitimate application, etc etc etc ..... Kids "when we going to see dad again?" I think i have spent everyday since he left crying, and literally feel sick.


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## WestCoastCanadianGirl (Mar 17, 2012)

I hear you, Lara!

Whilst I'm full of angst in regards to my immigration status (am Old Rules and 2 months into my FLR(M) and trying to keep mail records of everything for next year's SET(M)), I am finding that the origins/source of my angst is firmly rooted with the US Immigration and Naturalisation Service and US Border Control.

I know that this sounds crazy, but it's true. As a Canadian who has frequently travelled to the United States over the last 20-odd years and who at one time, a long time ago, was looking at the K-1 immigration process (i.e. Fiance(e) Visa... you think the pre-July 9 UKBA application was long? you should check out what They (INS) asked on the K-1 fiancee visa a decade before 9/11!!!), I've been conditioned by Them to have a "hope for the best but expect the worst" type fear when dealing with immigration authorities (I have been subject to random mini-interrogations at land border crossings and was even detained by Them without explanation in August '10... while They allowed me in to the US, it can be very frightening when one is travelling alone), and because of these experiences, I've had this nagging fear in the outskirts of my mind at every stage of the whole process that the UKBA might get all INS on me and try to find some nit picky issue with my case, reject my application and deport my arse back to Canada - not that I didn't have a good life in Vancouver... I just happen to _really like_ the one I have here in the UK.

I have to say, upon reflection, that I've found my experiences with the Border Force department and the UKBA in general to be VERY gentle and quite kind. Border Force asked me very few questions and were _very_ quick to let me into the UK on my first visit to meet Ed over the Christmas 2011 break (I was nervous enough about meeting Ed in person for the first time, so the easy entry was quite comforting) as well as during my second visit in April (even though I'd made an error on my immigration card when we were returning from a mini-break in Paris mid-visit). Even the whole Fiancee Visa application was fast (12 business day non-priority response time at a time when 15 days was the estimated wait)... heck, the IO asked Ed more questions (and even got his name wrong) at the Heathrow border control than he asked me when I finally moved over in October.

Ed thinks I'm crazy to worry (easy for him to say... he's not the one who is here on the whim of an IO), but I've got an overactive imagination that is prone to excessive worry (if only you could know what my mind was going through while I was studying and writing the Life in the UK test!!). I also have a sneaking suspicion that until I have final confirmation of my permission to stay long-term (i.e. the moment that the BRP that has my ILR on it is in my hands), it's going to take a substantial effort for me to keep my frazzled brain from going into overdrive.

I'm not too worried about the citizenship application... it'll be easy enough to keep my nose clean for a further 11-ish months needed to get to the requisite 36 month residency requirement, so as long as I can get to October '14 without landing in court or on the pages of the Daily Fail, then it'll be clear sailing from there.


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## Leanna (Oct 22, 2012)

WestCoastCanadianGirl said:


> I hear you, Lara!
> 
> Whilst I'm full of angst in regards to my immigration status (am Old Rules and 2 months into my FLR(M) and trying to keep mail records of everything for next year's SET(M)), I am finding that the origins/source of my angst is firmly rooted with the US Immigration and Naturalisation Service and US Border Control.
> 
> ...


Mmm yes, having travelled a few times between Canada (home) and the US, I can say that my experiences with the US Immigration have been less than welcoming. UKBA have always been kind and polite to me, so I cannot complain. The stress for me is in the worrying, and feeling very uneasy in my life here, that its not permanent, not settled. I don't feel as though I can truly relax here, and probably won't at least until I know I have my first set of FLR. Then it'll start all over again in 2.5 years! For now, I'm just trying to keep myself distracted and my mind clear, so that these next few weeks can pass smoothly.


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## WestCoastCanadianGirl (Mar 17, 2012)

Just try to relax (easier said than done) and enjoy yourself.

Get a driver's license... Canadians can trade in (for a £ fee) for a limited (ie automatic transmission car only) license without having to write a theory test (you have to take a road test on a standard if you want to upgrade to an unrestricted license while American drivers must do both the theory _and_ road test)... it would be a good idea to pick up a copy of the Highway Code to familiarise yourself with the meaning of all of those lines on the road. 

Were you ever interested in politics back home? Are you interested in voting here in the UK? As Commonwealth citizens, we're eligible to vote in all UK elections. 

Have you had a look at the Life in the UK handbook? Perhaps start studying for that... they say that the Home Office is going to re-do it to make it more difficult (and likely raise the test fee.... currently it's £50)... you don't need FLR(M) to write it and can have it done as soon as next Tuesday... once you get a "pass" on that, you're good to go. 

Were you ever interested in hockey? I hear that the league and the players' association have come to a tentative agreement, so an abbreviated season could begin soon! While you can't stream tsn.ca video coverage over here, you can get audio streaming on Team Radio (ie Team1040 am in Vancouver and Team 1410 in Toronto) over the Internet (I have the TuneIn radio app on my iPhone and listen on that). 

I hope you feel better soon... I know what the unsettled feeling is like, as I felt it acutely the first time I left Canada to work for a couple if years.

Good luck with your FLR!


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## Leanna (Oct 22, 2012)

WestCoastCanadianGirl said:


> Just try to relax (easier said than done) and enjoy yourself.
> 
> Get a driver's license... Canadians can trade in (for a £ fee) for a limited (ie automatic transmission car only) license without having to write a theory test (you have to take a road test on a standard if you want to upgrade to an unrestricted license while American drivers must do both the theory _and_ road test)... it would be a good idea to pick up a copy of the Highway Code to familiarise yourself with the meaning of all of those lines on the road.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the advice! I was going to ask later about the Life in the UK test - I wasn't sure about the validity, since I won't be going for ILR for another 5 years. If I can take it now and get it over with, that'll give me something to do over the next few months. 

I only had a learner's permit in Canada, so I'm not sure about eligibility here, I'll have to look into that. While in Cardiff I can walk everywhere, I'd love the freedom to be able to rent a car and take little weekend trips and road trips here and there. 

Yes, will definitely get into voting. I have to register to vote, if I remember correctly, but I needed a printer to print out the silly paper - now I've got that, I should do that. 

Naw, hockey isn't my thing  But thanks for the advice! I'm trying to look at fun courses or groups to join in Cardiff. I love my husband, but it'd be nice to have some other friends here, too! 

You're awesome!


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## LaraMascara (Oct 19, 2012)

American immigration officers can be real bulldogs. 
Even to Americans!
Especially at the airports. 

I'm not even going to tell you the whole story of what happened when I went to Colombia for a 4 week holiday a few years ago, and returned through the Newark International Airport. 

I've had less intrusive medical exams. No kidding AT ALL. 

The IO literally called me, 'The most obvious Drug Mule ever' because I asked to use the toilet while waiting for my free X-Ray! HA HA! I just wanted to pee. 

They kept me there for about 5 hours, I think, waiting to be X-Rayed and strip searched, and when I asked for water, the IO said, 'Trying to flush out the drugs from your anus?'

Ummm, no. Just thirsty dude. Thirsty, and tired. Wow.


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## LisaJoi (Dec 3, 2012)

LaraMascara said:


> American immigration officers can be real bulldogs.
> Even to Americans!
> Especially at the airports.
> 
> ...


I had a similar experience driving into Canada! They were seriously questioning why a Florida girl would drive an Indiana car (rented in IL, and that is what they had) through Michigan (we flew into Chicago to save $400) into Canada, just for lunch (heard it was yummy, and we were in the area!). Detained for 4 hours, the car was taken apart, etc. 

American Immigration guys can be bad, but the Canadians were the worst I've ever had!


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## LaraMascara (Oct 19, 2012)

Dealing with ALL immigration sucks. 

It sucks for travelling, and it sucks even MORE for relationships and visas. 

(Last time I went to Canada, the airport IO actually asked me out on a date! Is that even legal? Ha ha!)


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## mehemlynn (Nov 16, 2011)

So we've been at the whole immigration thing for the 11 years of our marriage, first to the US (my husband hated it), so back to the UK. I wish we knew then all we know now, not only about immigration, but about what we would be doing.

Having been married for a long time, I have to just say, there are tons of stressors which make marriage difficult, immigration is just an added one. The great thing is you learn early on how your spouse deals with stress (ignores it, dwells on it, etc), so you can learn how to deal with that early in the relationship. 

I must agree the INS was much worse, they sent all of our paperwork to the wrong processing facility. We found out that most Congress people have a person on staff who's sole job it is to deal with the INS. Some of our paperwork took so long (almost a year) we moved while waiting for it, causing more issues.

So far UKBA and border agency has been lovely, except one time for me entering the UK when I got held at the desk for a while, but I didn't ever get taken to any of the "little rooms"


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## Kim_J (Apr 2, 2012)

NYer, the best advice I can give you is just relax (ya right) and just accept you are and will be for the next 9 months or so marooned on an island in the Atlantic. You will develop a love/hate relationship with your new home. You may come to your breaking point and it WILL take a toll on your relationship. I can recall getting very stroppy with my husband over his business trips (there were several) to places I had wanted to go and see. I even was cross aboy him going to Germering Germany (dreadful place) just to dry out and warm up just a bit (never thought I would miss Texas so much 😳). Both major rows we have had over the past 6 months stemmed from the waiting, lack of communication from UKBA, and the endless rain that we have had over 2012. 

Any how, you will be fine in the end. Just apologise to your husband now, as mine had said the very same as yours. I finally had to tell mine that sometimes I just want him to rub my back and not say anything... And your relationship WILL survive, it will just be the longest 8-9 months of your life. 

Kim x

Sent from my iPhone using ExpatForum


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## NewYorkerinBritain (Jan 2, 2013)

*Thank You So Much....*



Kim_J said:


> NYer, the best advice I can give you is just relax (ya right) and just accept you are and will be for the next 9 months or so marooned on an island in the Atlantic. You will develop a love/hate relationship with your new home. You may come to your breaking point and it WILL take a toll on your relationship. I can recall getting very stroppy with my husband over his business trips (there were several) to places I had wanted to go and see. I even was cross aboy him going to Germering Germany (dreadful place) just to dry out and warm up just a bit (never thought I would miss Texas so much 😳). Both major rows we have had over the past 6 months stemmed from the waiting, lack of communication from UKBA, and the endless rain that we have had over 2012.
> 
> Any how, you will be fine in the end. Just apologise to your husband now, as mine had said the very same as yours. I finally had to tell mine that sometimes I just want him to rub my back and not say anything... And your relationship WILL survive, it will just be the longest 8-9 months of your life.
> 
> ...


I wanted to thank everyone for replying to my post. 

I realize I may have been a little vague in what I was trying to learn from my fellow expats, which unleashed a few Immigration and Passport Control memories from some of you (which brought back memories I'd repressed over the nearly five decades I've been flying! Flying back to NYC from Amsterdam in the 90s was particularly interesting.)

Anyway, to be clear, I meant the UKBA in terms of visa applications. I've generally been treated very well at most of the crossings, and this is Heathrow, Gatwick, Luton, and the Tunnel.

What struck me is that many of you had the same experience as I. The vows have been exchanged, the champagne drunk, and now life can begin....

Not really. Although the wedding really did happen and is really real--I feel, _unbelievably_, that until the UKBA sanctions it, it's not.

I had no idea what the UKBA were when my fiancé and I registered to be married. The Registrar then told us I needed to apply for, and get, the UKBA visa from abroad before the ceremony. Thus planning the reception menu, applying for the fiancée visa, choosing flowers, locating all the passports I've ever owned, and chasing down my dress became inextricably linked with getting my biometrics registered.

I think since our British husbands/partners feel, "We did it! My beloved is here, who cares how long it takes--it's real, and the authorities will clearly see it, and all will be well" they really do truly believe it and wish we did as well. Thoughts?

Leanna, your post about it being not permanent, not settled, rang so, so true for me. My feelings EXACTLY. Thank you for putting it so succinctly into words, which helped my mental state you have no idea how.

Dear, dear Lara, what a time you've had. Thank you so much for your post. I thought the fiancée visa was a trial; this FLR(M) is tough, but what you've been through and are currently experiencing... you're in my thoughts. OH! And your guy got a wonderful bride, may I say... (I _will_ PM you back!)

BronwynBean: I cried when I read your post. You and your children are in my thoughts... please PM me about your situation and keep me updated.

Dear Kim... so happy for your news. I actually love my new home (but need to visit old one as soon as I can as I still have no idea how much of my boxed stuff to move over was/is underwater from Sandy.) While I love NYC, I don't miss it. I do feel England is my home; I even don't mind the rain (I have always loved rain, fog, mist, and gray skies.)

I just loved, loved, loved your message and it came at the perfect time at a very difficult time.

mehemlynn.... despite (or perhaps because!) of our years my husband and I really have no other stressor in our married life... the children have moved out and are active in their lives and careers. The grandkids are happy and healthy and well-loved and looked after. (And growing so quickly it's not to be believed. Soon they'll be using iPads, which I have just mastered.)

I don't mean to sound morbid but we've spent our whole lives attaining financial security and securing the perfect home to spend the rest of our days in. We just want to be together now. 

We just feel the UKBA has given us enough fuel to keep the car warm, but put their foot on the brakes and taken away the keys.

Warmest wishes from
A New Yorker in Britain


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## Leanna (Oct 22, 2012)

NewYorkerinBritain said:


> I wanted to thank everyone for replying to my post.
> 
> I realize I may have been a little vague in what I was trying to learn from my fellow expats, which unleashed a few Immigration and Passport Control memories from some of you (which brought back memories I'd repressed over the nearly five decades I've been flying! Flying back to NYC from Amsterdam in the 90s was particularly interesting.)
> 
> ...


I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling unsettled. I feel as though there should be a support group for UKBA VISA applicants to share their feelings! Though, perhaps, that's what Expat Forum is!

A New Yorker in Britain - there was an article on "A Practical Wedding" that rang so true with me, I actually cried while reading it. I don't know if I can post links, so just Google "A Practical Wedding" and find their post on 6 Dec called "Waiting for a Green Card". Echoes a lot of my feelings when it comes to this whole process.

My PEO appointment is in a week's time, fingers crossed a little load will be off my shoulders this time next week!


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## KHP (Oct 25, 2012)

NewYorkerinBritain said:


> I wanted to thank everyone for replying to my post.
> 
> I realize I may have been a little vague in what I was trying to learn from my fellow expats, which unleashed a few Immigration and Passport Control memories from some of you (which brought back memories I'd repressed over the nearly five decades I've been flying! Flying back to NYC from Amsterdam in the 90s was particularly interesting.)
> 
> ...


NewYorker, I completely understand how you feel! 

I feel like the UKBA or the process of applying for a spousal visa for the UK is already affecting our relationship and we haven't even applied yet. My husband and I recently celebrated our 1-year wedding anniversary, which was of course a happy occasion but tinged with some sadness as we knew we'd soon be separated. 

I live in Central America with my husband and I manage an NGO here. I'm starting a new job in London at the end of February. After 6 months my husband will apply for his spousal visa under Cat A. It means we will be apart for at least 8-9 months, which just seems unbearable. We had times when we were apart while we were dating over the past 6 years but I do feel that we can't really settle into our marriage until he receives his visa. 

We are definitely feeling the strain. We are arguing more than we ever have... mainly over silly things brought on by the stress of our imminent separation and subsequent UKBA/Worldbridge labyrinth that awaits us!


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## NewYorkerinBritain (Jan 2, 2013)

*Fingers Crossed!*



Leanna said:


> I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling unsettled. I feel as though there should be a support group for UKBA VISA applicants to share their feelings! Though, perhaps, that's what Expat Forum is!
> 
> A New Yorker in Britain - there was an article on "A Practical Wedding" that rang so true with me, I actually cried while reading it. I don't know if I can post links, so just Google "A Practical Wedding" and find their post on 6 Dec called "Waiting for a Green Card". Echoes a lot of my feelings when it comes to this whole process.
> 
> My PEO appointment is in a week's time, fingers crossed a little load will be off my shoulders this time next week!


Leanna,

thank you, and my fingers are crossed for you both. Best of luck. Despite your appointment coming up it means a lot to me to write back regarding this post. In a way, we are all in the same boat, with different sailing times, no?

NYer


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## Leanna (Oct 22, 2012)

NewYorkerinBritain said:


> Leanna,
> 
> thank you, and my fingers are crossed for you both. Best of luck. Despite your appointment coming up it means a lot to me to write back regarding this post. In a way, we are all in the same boat, with different sailing times, no?
> 
> NYer


Absolutely!

Even after our appointment, I'm sure I'll still be around here at the forum - it'll be nice to pass on anything I've learned, and help people who are still going through everything. It's been such a stressful journey that it will be good to share a bit I'm sure. Besides, I got 5 years of FLR before I start this whole thing again for ILR! Just never ends


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## LisaJoi (Dec 3, 2012)

Like most of you, my husband's opinion is that we'll sail through, while I dream of all the ways it can go wrong! He just goes to work, goes home, and goes about his daily life (while missing me, of course!) happy as a clam in newly wedded bliss. Meanwhile, I'm reading every blog, every forum I can find, and panicing. On top of that, selling my house, packing things and storing others, I'm all ove the place, and not feeling married at all, other than the extra ring on my finger. I have to keep looking at what pictures we have to remind myself it happened.


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## Leanna (Oct 22, 2012)

LisaJoi said:


> Like most of you, my husband's opinion is that we'll sail through, while I dream of all the ways it can go wrong! He just goes to work, goes home, and goes about his daily life (while missing me, of course!) happy as a clam in newly wedded bliss. Meanwhile, I'm reading every blog, every forum I can find, and panicing. On top of that, selling my house, packing things and storing others, I'm all ove the place, and not feeling married at all, other than the extra ring on my finger. I have to keep looking at what pictures we have to remind myself it happened.


Yes, my husband is exactly the same. Sometimes it drives me nuts that he isn't as crazy stressed about everything as I am, and yet, deep down I'm incredibly thankful that he's calm and rational and keeps me calm and rational throughout this whole thing.


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## LaraMascara (Oct 19, 2012)

My hubby acts all cool and calm all of the time, and he keeps telling me it will all be sorted soon... 

But last night, in bed, while sleeping, he suddenly started yelling "I'M A PIRATE! I'M A PIRATE! GAAAAAARRRRRRR!!! GARRRRRRR!!! I GOT THIS! I GOT THIS BECAUSE... GARRRRRR... I'M A PIRATE!!!! A PIRATE!!! A PIRATE!!! GAAAARRRRR!!!" and I like to think, because this IS entirely new behaviour, that is his way of saying, "Baby, I'm worried about the visa too." 

It made me feel less alone. 

I had my own personal UKBA PTSD Pirate! Gaaaaarrrrrr!!! 

;-)

Our cats were not amused.


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## Bridge1101 (Aug 29, 2012)

LisaJoi said:


> Like most of you, my husband's opinion is that we'll sail through, while I dream of all the ways it can go wrong! He just goes to work, goes home, and goes about his daily life (while missing me, of course!) happy as a clam in newly wedded bliss. Meanwhile, I'm reading every blog, every forum I can find, and panicing. On top of that, selling my house, packing things and storing others, I'm all ove the place, and not feeling married at all, other than the extra ring on my finger. I have to keep looking at what pictures we have to remind myself it happened.


Lisa, Im in the same boat as you, Im packing up my house and its unsettling, especially when you dont have any control over the outcome. My fiance keeps telling me to stay away from the forums and websites, but its difficult to stay away because its the only way i can cope with the unknown... if that makes any sense...Good luck!


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## LisaJoi (Dec 3, 2012)

LaraMascara said:


> My hubby acts all cool and calm all of the time, and he keeps telling me it will all be sorted soon...
> 
> But last night, in bed, while sleeping, he suddenly started yelling "I'M A PIRATE! I'M A PIRATE! GAAAAAARRRRRRR!!! GARRRRRRR!!! I GOT THIS! I GOT THIS BECAUSE... GARRRRRR... I'M A PIRATE!!!! A PIRATE!!! A PIRATE!!! GAAAARRRRR!!!" and I like to think, because this IS entirely new behaviour, that is his way of saying, "Baby, I'm worried about the visa too."
> 
> ...


Lara, that is the funniest thing I've heard in a LOOOOOONG time!


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## LisaJoi (Dec 3, 2012)

Bridge1101 said:


> Lisa, Im in the same boat as you, Im packing up my house and its unsettling, especially when you dont have any control over the outcome. My fiance keeps telling me to stay away from the forums and websites, but its difficult to stay away because its the only way i can cope with the unknown... if that makes any sense...Good luck!


That makes total sense to me! Being informed helps you prepare for various hiccups and bumps, as far as I'm concerned. Good luck to you, too!


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## LisaJoi (Dec 3, 2012)

Well, I think my husband is FINALLY starting to take this seriously. I brought an issue up to him, and he has been reading all sorts of things for the past hour plus. Wake up call! He's saying that this is all very complicated, and is noticing thngs he never saw before (of course he is looking at the new guidance info, not what it was when we filled ours out). I don't think he is in a panic, per se, but concerned that they want more information than he provided.


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## LisaJoi (Dec 3, 2012)

LisaJoi said:


> Well, I think my husband is FINALLY starting to take this seriously. I brought an issue up to him, and he has been reading all sorts of things for the past hour plus. Wake up call! He's saying that this is all very complicated, and is noticing thngs he never saw before (of course he is looking at the new guidance info, not what it was when we filled ours out). I don't think he is in a panic, per se, but concerned that they want more information than he provided.


He's just said to me "I was going to have salad for dinner, but now I'm so depressed I'm having curry."


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## Leanna (Oct 22, 2012)

LisaJoi said:


> He's just said to me "I was going to have salad for dinner, but now I'm so depressed I'm having curry."


Aw man, sounds exactly like my husband! Curry is to him as chocolate is to me re: a bad mood!


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## LisaJoi (Dec 3, 2012)

Poor man was up until 2 AM trying to convince himself we could supply enough documentation (they asked for more) in the time alloted. He's all "bees & Jane Austen" he told me.


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