# Domestic violence



## Omer121 (Apr 2, 2013)

I have a friend of mine who is really depressed about the things which are going in his house.We have been friends for nearly 12 years.He tells me that his father argues with his mother and sometimes he crosses the limit and physically abuses her and why does he argue ? Thats because of simple stupid things and if he speaks up his father tells that get lost or i'll slaughter you (some nonsense).His sister tried to do sucide also because of all this.Now as his friend i am really concerned about him.I dont know what should i do i mean if i got to the police his father would be sent to jail but since he loses his job (he is the only breadwinner) he will be sent to his home country where his father's family wont spare him (i am dead sure about this).So as i meet him everyday i dont know what should i do ?
If you guys can help me on this than i might do something , like the laws in UAE on domestic violence i mean to say that if his father goes to jail will they deported from here even if their lives are at risk.


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Please tell your friend to contact this organization urgently http://www.dfwac.ae/en/

This shelter has been set up, under the patronage of Sheikh Mohammed, for precisely this reason and is open to all nationalities.


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## xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxStewartC (Mar 3, 2012)

They MUST get out of the situation at all costs. It must be tough be so financially dependent on a monster but he will screw up their minds for the rest of their lives if they don't act. Never mind what else might happen. These violent people NEVER change. Help him gain the strength to deal with this, please. I feel for that family.


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Odd first post. Especially with the recent closed thread.... 

It is the right of a man to discipline his wife and family in the uae.... only is an issue is he leaves marks on them. 

Best to stay out of that families business unless your friend asks you for help. You can show him options but in the end, you should not change the fate of your friends life or his brothers/sisters/mother to be sent back to maybe a much worse situation. Leave it in his hands.

(Is hard for me to say that when what I really want to say is tell me his address so I can go over there with a baseball bat and beat the crap out of him myself  )


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## Omer121 (Apr 2, 2013)

I talked to him about this but he is scared that if he does something than his sister whose is in pakistan (she is in university) his family members who are wild , mad people might harm her and he is a type of guy who is very sensitive in these matters.


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## Omer121 (Apr 2, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> Please tell your friend to contact this organization urgently
> 
> This shelter has been set up, under the patronage of Sheikh Mohammed, for precisely this reason and is open to all nationalities.


I talked to him about this but he is scared that if he does something than his sister whose is in pakistan (she is in university) his family members who are wild , mad people might harm her and he is a type of guy who is very sensitive in these matters.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Sorry but what exactly would you like us to do? Bedougirl has already given you advice of who to contact but you're saying that his family members might harm her. You're his friend, just be his friend and listen to him. There is nothing that he can do.

Also, he's a grown man now. If he really wants to make a difference, rather than talk to his friend about it, he needs to grow some b*lls and stand up against his father and protect his mother, brother, sister, etc. It's not hard you know. Tell him that.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

Actually it is extremely hard in some situations, especially when some people come from backwards places that have honour systems. If the father feels he has been 'shamed' by his children and or wife, they pay dear consequences for that. It's a tread carefully situation.

The father sounds like a monster who needs a taste of his own medicine.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Chocoholic said:


> Actually it is extremely hard in some situations, especially when some people come from backwards places that have honour systems. If the father feels he has been 'shamed' by his children and or wife, they pay dear consequences for that. It's a tread carefully situation.
> 
> The father sounds like a monster who needs a taste of his own medicine.


It's not hard. I come from a backward country exactly like this and I've witnessed such abuse first hand. I understand if it was an all daughters situation but he needs to protect his mother and his sister from this. If he doesn't step up, no point talking about it to his friend.

The only way the father will learn his lesson is if his children stand up to him. The wife never will.


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## xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxStewartC (Mar 3, 2012)

These situations are frightening and complex. I bow to other posters' knowledge of the culture and of the UAE law. But I do know something (a lot) about the long-term damage to all family members of allowing such a monster to terrorise the people he should love and protect. This does need to be factored in when weighing up the best way forward.


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## frozenrock13 (Apr 8, 2013)

i agree with pamela.
Its upto your friend to save his mother,sister from the torture of his father.
He should have courage to stand up against wrong doer.


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

The thing is by calling the Foundation, your friend would have someone to speak to you other than you. These people are trained and are used to handling confidential and delicate situations such as these and will be able to offer him support emotionally and practically. No-one in his family need even know he called them.


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## Omer121 (Apr 2, 2013)

Thanks everyone especially BedouGirl , for giving me suggestions.


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## ibkiss (Feb 1, 2012)

Omer .... hope it all sorts out in the best possible way


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