# Dementia Help



## mikegibbons (Jan 25, 2012)

Hi there, following a recent visit to a friend in Torremolinos I was shocked by the conditions and mental state I found. Can anyone advise of where I can find help for ex pats living in Spain who are suffering with dementia and appear to be out of any system or help network....


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

mikegibbons said:


> Hi there, following a recent visit to a friend in Torremolinos I was shocked by the conditions and mental state I found. Can anyone advise of where I can find help for ex pats living in Spain who are suffering with dementia and appear to be out of any system or help network....


So this person doesnt have a doctor in Spain or any relatives there ?????

Jo xxx


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

jojo said:


> So this person doesnt have a doctor in Spain or any relatives there ?????
> 
> Jo xxx


that was my first thought - if they are 'plugged in' to the state healthcare system the first port of call would be social services


if not, then most areas with a high expat population have things like Age Concern & HELP Association

I'm pretty sure there are branches in the Málaga area - they might be able to point the OP in the right direction


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## jimenato (Nov 21, 2009)

The Malaga Age Concern organisation is in Estepona. 

There is a 'lifeline' number for those who require help 650 163 928

There is a website 

AGE CONCERN Estepona y Manilva (Spain)


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## mikegibbons (Jan 25, 2012)

jojo said:


> So this person doesnt have a doctor in Spain or any relatives there ?????
> 
> Jo xxx


There are no relatives in Spain and he appears to have become very reclusive. He does have a doctor close by, although confidence in that doctor appears to be limited. bearing in mind his condition he is relatively paranoid about trusting anyone for help, the situation is quite difficult to understand when relying on him for information, especially after many years since any contacvt with him. Is the doctor the first port of call for him, and will this work as in the UK, where all referrals for support and help stem from the doctor?


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

mikegibbons said:


> There are no relatives in Spain and he appears to have become very reclusive. He does have a doctor close by, although confidence in that doctor appears to be limited. bearing in mind his condition he is relatively paranoid about trusting anyone for help, the situation is quite difficult to understand when relying on him for information, especially after many years since any contacvt with him. Is the doctor the first port of call for him, and will this work as in the UK, where all referrals for support and help stem from the doctor?


yes, if he is in the state system - or, as I said, the social worker attched to the surgery


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## bob_bob (Jan 5, 2011)

The first thing to be established is what is wrong with him, confusion can be triggered by many things from mini stroke, alzheimer's, even dehydration or severe constipation. The chap needs an assessment asap.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

bob_bob said:


> The first thing to be established is what is wrong with him, confusion can be triggered by many things from mini stroke, alzheimer's, even dehydration or severe constipation. The chap needs an assessment asap.


Exactly, hence my questions, the need to see a doctor and possibly someone to go with him

Jo xxx


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## cslt (Feb 12, 2012)

Hi I was just wondering what help and info you had found regarding the mental state of your friend. 

My situation is I am a UK resident with my inlaws living in Spain. My father in law has dementia and been going downhill fast recently. Paranoid, violent. My mother in law is finding it hard to cope with the situation. They have a few english speaking friends in the village but mostly they are isolated and on their own. My mother in law has tried to take her own life twice in the last 8 months. Currently she is in hospital recovering from the second episode. They are adamant they will not return to England so we can help them. By going out their I don't see what we will achieve as we have been trying to convince them to come back for the last 3 years.

Did you find any support for your friend? I'm not sure who to contact and even if they will be able to understand me.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

cslt said:


> Hi I was just wondering what help and info you had found regarding the mental state of your friend.
> 
> My situation is I am a UK resident with my inlaws living in Spain. My father in law has dementia and been going downhill fast recently. Paranoid, violent. My mother in law is finding it hard to cope with the situation. They have a few english speaking friends in the village but mostly they are isolated and on their own. My mother in law has tried to take her own life twice in the last 8 months. Currently she is in hospital recovering from the second episode. They are adamant they will not return to England so we can help them. By going out their I don't see what we will achieve as we have been trying to convince them to come back for the last 3 years.
> 
> Did you find any support for your friend? I'm not sure who to contact and even if they will be able to understand me.


A very worrying situation for you,
The same questions apply about doctors etc and also where are they?
However, from what you say, the best would be for them to go back to the UK...


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## fergie (Oct 4, 2010)

cslt, 
You might get information on more help for your local council, about where the nearest Age concern contact is to you, your father in laws Gp may also be able to help by refering him to a specialist in geriatric medicine, who will fully check out his general health to rule out anything else causing the symptoms, and prescribe appropriate medication to help his symptoms.
Dementia/ Altzeimers is a very cruel disease, for the carers, as the suffer's of it only realise in the earlier stages that their brain is deteriorating ie they are forgetting things all the time uncharacteristic behaviour, In later stages they are blissfully unaware they have a problem.
It is the carers who watch them go 'down hill', and caring for someone with more advanced dementia, alone, has been known to cause the carer severe health problems or even death due to the physical and mental stress. At some stage the carer must agree to let their 'loved one' go into profesional care facilities, day care at first maybe then possibly a full time nursing home.
It is also quite a common occurance for the sufferer to become violent, when there mind gets all mixed up, and they are frightened and confused, but if the carer is a frail little old lady or man they can become severely injured when the violence kicks off.
I have seen so many carers end up having strokes or heart attacks, and sometimes dying before the person they are caring for, due to the stress.


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## mikegibbons (Jan 25, 2012)

cslt said:


> Hi I was just wondering what help and info you had found regarding the mental state of your friend.
> 
> My situation is I am a UK resident with my inlaws living in Spain. My father in law has dementia and been going downhill fast recently. Paranoid, violent. My mother in law is finding it hard to cope with the situation. They have a few english speaking friends in the village but mostly they are isolated and on their own. My mother in law has tried to take her own life twice in the last 8 months. Currently she is in hospital recovering from the second episode. They are adamant they will not return to England so we can help them. By going out their I don't see what we will achieve as we have been trying to convince them to come back for the last 3 years.
> 
> Did you find any support for your friend? I'm not sure who to contact and even if they will be able to understand me.


There was alot of conflicting information, however, there was one key message that seemed to keep cropping up is that you should continue to try is to get the people back to the UK. This I think is sound advice as the support structure for dementia suffers that we see in the UK is just not available in Spain. Having said that I was recommended to make contact with Age Concern in Spain (just Google it), and they have branches around Spain, manned by ex-pat volunteers, and following a lengthy email explaining what I found, they have agreed to visit with my friend and determine what help can be done for him.

I beleive that they are familiar with the systems and processes in Spain, although of course this doesn't guarantee that the right help will be found or even available.

I am awaiting the outcome of the Age Concern activities, and from my specific position as a friend, am not automatically made aware of developments, although as direct family you would probably have access to that information. 

I hope this gives you a new avenue to investigate.


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## gill556 (Dec 23, 2010)

My neighbour went to the Town Hall in Orihuela as her husband suffers with Alzheimers. They put her in touch with the social services and red cross. The red cross have provided a tracking system for him which they monitor 24/7 and a buzzer sounds if he goes outside the designated area. She also gets a very generous allowance which is to pay for a carer as they don't provide home helps like the UK.


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## fergie (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi Gill,
That seems like a good system using tracking, and a carer, but what systems would be available when the condition deteriorates, getting to end stage altzeimers, when they have forgotten how to walk, and try to stand and fall, and may be single or doubly incontinent, and can be violent with paid carers?
My father is in end stage altzeimers, but an ordinary nursing home couldn't manage him, he was 'beating up' anybody, so they moved him to a special mental health hospital, with wards for altzeimers sufferers, but that is in the Uk, is there a similar facility available here? not that I would dream of trying to bring him here, he has been a problem and estranged from the rest of his family for years, even while he was young, and the violence which he is exhibiting now, well he used to be like that when he was younger, end of subject there!!!.
There must be lots of people who have been here for many years, who regard Spain as there home now, and refuse to go back to the UK, or have no ties any more in the Uk, or any family here, and the fear of a close relative/spouse getting something like Altzeimers (which could happen to any one of us) is scary, it is such an awful disease.


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