# Just curious to read expats least and most favorite things about life in France



## amlachance

I'm always interested in the experience of others who change countries - their views, their transition struggles and successes.
I love sharing cross-cultural experiences and stories. Since arriving we have made friends with another Franco/American couple (like us, he is French and she is American but they've lived here for 35 plus years, though he did live in the US for a time as well) and we enjoy swapping stories.
So I'm curious - what would people say are their favorite things about life in France, and least favorite things (or biggest challenges), especially those who relocated here from the US, but anyone in general.
Were there some unexpected surprises (negative or positive)?
What are some common questions you get from friends and family back home (for example, I lived in Paris for several months years ago and when I got back to the US people loved to ask me why French people hated Americans, or how could they eat such amazingly rich foods and not be fat).
What common misconceptions do you feel there are about France and French people?


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## Bevdeforges

That book "French Women Don't Get Fat" came out after I had been living here for a few years. It was really all the rage, but the excerpts I saw from it and most of the comments about it were absolute rubbish as far as I was concerned. I was in a couple of Paris based expat groups, and the American women living in Paris just took the book as gospel. They also admitted to feeling intimidated by French women and their "sense of fashion" and impeccable dress and grooming anytime they were out in public.

I, on the other hand, lived (and still live) out here in the suburbs - and in the "countrified" part of Ile de France to boot. There are plenty of fat French women out here with no particular "dress sense" as far as I could tell. (This was the time that caleçcons were popular - even for rather large women - topped with a long blouse or t-shirt.) And I always thought of the comments on French women's "sense of fashion" when standing in the check out line at the grocery store next to a (very nice) French lady with shoe polish black hair, sprouting 5 cm roots of white or gray that were in rather desperate need of being touched up. Maybe Parisien women have that incredible fashion sense and never appear outside in public in anything less than impeccable fashion, but out here in "the real France" people are just people like anywhere else.


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## Befuddled

I have experienced what I used to call culture shock (twice). Went from California to the south of England (1970). I thought I had accidentally slipped back through a time warp. I was made welcome by pretty much everyone but also taken advantage of by some unsuitable women who assumed because I was American that I was also rich. I had to learn about kids wearing uniforms to go to school, shops closing at 5 or 6pm, and early closing half day during the week because of some historical but no longer relevant reason. The class system, public bar vs saloon bar, and people hoping for that one in a million win on the football pools (lottery). When I had enough of being unemployed and learned how to live on a fraction of what I should have been able to earn I left and came to France (9/11). More culture shock but in an interesting and challenging way. Again I was made to feel welcome (rural Brittany). Loved the pace of life, work to live rather than the live to work competitive mindset across the Channel. Met people who never locked their doors. A friend bought a car from someone who had never removed the keys from the ignition. Bought a little cottage in 2.5 acres for less than the cost of a secondhand Ford. A passing neighbour saw me struggling with a shovel and rake trying to spread 6 tonnes of gravel and turned up later to lend me his mini digger. Bureaucracy. The French have developed it to a fine art. It took me 6 months to get a telephone installed, and that with the help of two different French speaking neighbours. 
Having to pay for a bank account. Having to pay extra to get an appliance delivered. (Where are those emojis when I need them?) This was all quite baffling. French retail bears little resemblance to any other, and don't get me started on "Customer Service". Life here is a compromise, not Nirvana. I love it, warts and all. I can't think of anywhere I would be happier trying to live on the lowest old age pension in Europe. Sorry peeps. I've gotta stop the flow and let someone else have a go.


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## tardigrade

Growing up in Chicago, Uni in Texas and residence in Florida does not prepare you for Europe...

My biggest gripe would be that they seem to do things the hardest way possible... Extremely frustrating. Sometimes common sense does not seem to exist here either...

Oh and TV. Terrible programming in every country.. In Holland "married with children" is still on everyday.. Fav show in the world but there are better ones and more recent.


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## amlachance

Bevdeforges said:


> That book "French Women Don't Get Fat" came out after I had been living here for a few years.


- for me it was the book The French Paradox, which I did find very interesting.


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## BackinFrance

I know I don't qualify as an expat, but I would suggest you avoid the gossips in France, they are capable of transmitting all sorts of stories about you, both true and often false, in a way that can identify you far and wide, even in other countries,though very much locally.


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## amlachance

BackinFrance said:


> I know I don't qualify as an expat, but I would suggest you avoid the gossips in France, they are capable of transmitting all sorts of stories about you, both true and often false, in a way that can identify you far and wide, even in other countries,though very much locally.


I am confused about your post. Is this "you" someone in particular to whom you are making this suggestion about gossips? I'm not sure how it relates to the original conversation regarding the positive experiences and challenges to living in France. Perhaps I'm missing something, but I don't see the connection.


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## BackinFrance

amlachance said:


> I am confused about your post. Is this "you" someone in particular to whom you are making this suggestion about gossips? I'm not sure how it relates to the original conversation regarding the positive experiences and challenges to living in France. Perhaps I'm missing something, but I don't see the connection.


I posted that because I know you have family in France, even though it is not a positive, but if you only want positives you can simply ignore it, non?


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## boilerman

Mostly what Befuddled said.
Also.......
The cakes are better, they don't know I have a brummie accent, and parking is free.
The French just know whats more important, and that's the quality of living. We already know this, which is why so many of us come. But, I'm a guest, and middle class brits should remember that.


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## SPGW

Mostly what Boilerman and Befuddled said. Also:
Like - Q of Life largely related to good local seasonal produce (markets). Sense of community, people mind their own business, respect each other (generally). Low population density.
Dislike (prob not restricted to Fr) - rates of tax, politicians who do not listen to science, profusion of roundabouts and ugly "zones d'activités" of prefab box-like structures on the outskirts of most towns, while unused older buildings often of regional style go derelict, associated ecocide (hedgerows disappear, ground is concreted/tarmacced).


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## Franco-Belgian Brit

Reminds me of many years ago at my rugby club in N London. We would have theme nights. One one such occasion it was French Night. All the men wore variations of the striped T-shirt and berets and the ladies dressed in split skirts etc.

My (French) mother came wearing a pair of slacks and an ordinary top. When asked why she hadn't "dressed up" she simply replied that this is what a French woman wears and it was the others, in fact, who had got it wrong


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## Poloss

One thing which I hate about France is "quatre-vingt-dix-huit" or "soixante-dix-sept" - anachronic waste of time


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## Bevdeforges

Poloss said:


> One thing which I hate about France is "quatre-vingt-dix-huit" or "soixante-dix-sept" - anachronic waste of time


Hey, you can always use septant, octant and nonant like some of the other French-speaking countries do. Throws them off a bit but they do understand. Every now and then I try that, just to make a point.


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## Franco-Belgian Brit

Bevdeforges said:


> Hey, you can always use septant, octant and nonant like some of the other French-speaking countries do. Throws them off a bit but they do understand. Every now and then I try that, just to make a point.


My aunt, now in her mid-80s, learnt septante, octante and nonante at school. That was in Tarare, near Lyon.


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## Befuddled

I could never get the hang of using a sextant for navigation. Much prefer a GPS.


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## ARPC

It’s got a hideous learning curve, but if you have a good low horizon and a solid metal sextant, it can be like magic!


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## Befuddled

ARPC said:


> It’s got a hideous learning curve, but if you have a good low horizon and a solid metal sextant, it can be like magic!


Where I live finding a horizon isn't the problem. It's finding a clear day so you can find the sun.


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## Poloss

Franco-Belgian Brit said:


> My aunt, now in her mid-80s, learnt septante, octante and nonante at school. That was in Tarare, near Lyon.


It's interesting that you mention it, as my father in law, born in 1921 just 50km south of Lyon also remembered being taught septante, octante and nonante at primary school..
Around that time, local patois language was severely repressed in an effort to impose standard French throughout the country.


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## boilerman

Oh, that's why.


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