# Divorce and Wife and Kids under My Sponsorship



## Goochmonster (Dec 10, 2012)

1- My Wife ans Kids are under my Sponsorship. Incase of Divorcing and there will be for sure Child Custody issues? Would I have the right to cancel her Sponsorship.

2- Can my Wife open a business under my sponsorship? We currently own a business and work together, but she is thinking of opening her own and compete.


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## Scatterling (Apr 25, 2010)

Goochmonster said:


> 1- My Wife ans Kids are under my Sponsorship. Incase of Divorcing and there will be for sure Child Custody issues? Would I have the right to cancel her Sponsorship.
> 
> 2- Can my Wife open a business under my sponsorship? We currently own a business and work together, but she is thinking of opening her own and compete.


I guess I'm feeling a little thick today........On the one hand you are asking if you have the right to cancel your wife's sponsorship in case of divorce then on the other you are asking if she can open a business with you as sponsor?


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## Goochmonster (Dec 10, 2012)

While Currently MArried and under my sponsorship, can she open her own business? I dont want to cancel her sponsorship, even if things get terrible, she is still the mother of my kids.


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## Goochmonster (Dec 10, 2012)

My son turn 8 and my daughter is 6, so Im sure we would probably have a custody battle.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

Not sure about the business part. But why would there have to be a custody battle? Why not just agree to joint custody and have things amicable, otherwise the only people who lose out are the children - and that's not fair. You put the children first.


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## xchaos777 (Dec 15, 2010)

I'm divorced, with children. My kids were about the same age when we separated.

Swallow what ever pride you have left and do everything in your power to make it amicable. Learn very quickly to shut your mouth and let all the BS slide off you. The children will suffer greatly if you don't.

Take the higher road and the children will see it. Be their rock, be positive with them about their mother, they will need it and in turn respect you for it.

Been there, done that. It won't be easy for any of you. And, it's going to cost you financially everything. Three years on now, things are finally better for us. Tread lightly is my advice.

I don't believe she can stay sponsored by you after divorce. Your kids can, but probably need her permission to do so.

If she starts her own company, couldn't she sponsor herself? You will have to agree on the kids sponsorship I expect.


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## Beamrider (May 18, 2012)

Bethany's Mum said:


> Obviously not married and no children.


Care to elaborate, or is it just your usual swing at Chocoholic?


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

xchaos gives some fantastic advice and the children aren't really of an age to understand what would be going on, so anything you can do to keep things as 'normal' for them, the better really.


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## m1key (Jun 29, 2011)

Beamrider said:


> Care to elaborate, or is it just your usual swing at Chocoholic?


Beat me to it. What a ray of sunshine and delight huh


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## xchaos777 (Dec 15, 2010)

From experience, the children understand far more than you think. Essentially, though, an attack on either parent...verbally...is an attack on how they perceive themselves.

They will see, hear, and understand everything...and as they mature, will evaluate your actions on their own.

Being a good parent is not about forcing your will because you feel you can be a better parent than the other. You will have to accept a different situation...and you can't protect them emotionally always. You have to be consistent, calm, and open to listen and talk to them. They will express to you what they are feeling only if you allow yourself to listen...and not get defensive or offensive about their other parent.

Your objective is to give them the tools they need to cope... I am far closer to my children now because I was able to realize this early on...and I assure you it was very very hard in my situation to meter my comments about certain situations they were going through.


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## Bigjimbo (Oct 28, 2010)

Bethany's Mum said:


> Obviously not married and no children.


Obviously bored and no-one to be nasty to.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Speaking from my divorce experience in Dubai, it doesn't matter who gets custody of the children, the final word stays with the father. Your wife could get full custody but the passports might end up in your possession. Even if she has the passports, she cannot travel outside the country with the kids without your prior permission.

Once you're divorced, your children will remain on your sponsorship but the wife will need a new sponsor. You will not be able to sponsor her as she is no longer your legal spouse. If she starts her own business, she can sponsor herself.

As Xchaos has mentioned already, please keep your ego aside during the entire process. Children are extremely intuitive and even if hey don't say it out loud, you can rest assured that they are aware of what is happening. Children shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of the parents.

Good luck to you and your family during this difficult time. No matter how strong a person is, divorce is a horrible thing to go through, especially when there are kids involved.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Bethany's Mum said:


> Simply making an observation.


Well here's mine.....
Passing snide remarks about someone only makes you look like Bethany's dad isn't giving you the attention you so desperately want.


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## Bigjimbo (Oct 28, 2010)

Bethany's Mum said:


> Simply making an observation.


Smply looking bitter.


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## Goochmonster (Dec 10, 2012)

*Thank you For Replys*

Thank you all for your reply.. Last night we had a really rough fight. unfortunately kids woke up and started crying. My 6 year old daughter told me "please daddy both of you stop fighting, my heart is hurting" and my son told my wife, please mom " dont have a black heart and have a red heart". She tried explaining to kids why we were fighting and I asked her to stop, she was saying they should know, then she realized they were getting worse, she stopped.

This afternoon, she has completely calmed down, I guess also realized what it has done to the kids. I spoke to kids and promised such an argument wont happen again.

Im guessing she realizes possibly to go for divorce would be a disaster for the kids, me 2.


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

So, apologies for sort of reading between the lines here, but, your wife wants a divorce and you don't? Or you both want a divorce but are just staying together for the sake of the children? Why would you compromise your own happiness, yours and hers, by staying in a relationship one or both of you don't want to be in? Staying together for the children, is never really an answer, children aren't stupid and they'll be able to tell you aren't happy and could very well end up resenting you for using them as an excuse to stay together.

It sounds like you're in a bit of a mess and I really feel for you. These situations are never easy, but you really do have to think what is best for all of you.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Goochmonster said:


> Thank you all for your reply.. Last night we had a really rough fight. unfortunately kids woke up and started crying. My 6 year old daughter told me "please daddy both of you stop fighting, my heart is hurting" and my son told my wife, please mom " dont have a black heart and have a red heart". She tried explaining to kids why we were fighting and I asked her to stop, she was saying they should know, then she realized they were getting worse, she stopped.
> 
> This afternoon, she has completely calmed down, I guess also realized what it has done to the kids. I spoke to kids and promised such an argument wont happen again.
> 
> Im guessing she realizes possibly to go for divorce would be a disaster for the kids, me 2.


You and your wife need to grow up and stop being so selfish! It makes my blood boil when I hear about parents fighting in front of the children and then feeling guilty about it when the kids start begging for them to stop. 

They're innocent little kids, do you not love them even a little bit to know how horrible it is to wake up to the sound of your parents screaming and yelling at each other?

Quite honestly, it doesn't matter how you and your wife feel, you're both adults and should be responsible for the consequences of your actions. The fact that you're not putting your children first in this entire ordeal is despicable. If you want to resolve the conflicts in your marriage, go for counselling. It's expensive but your marriage and family should be worth it. If you want to get a divorce, set your egos and tempers aside and reach an amicable solution. If you're forcing your wife to stay in this marriage by holding your kids as ransom, then you are a horrible father and your children will resent you for this as they grow up.


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## Grt1 (Nov 7, 2012)

Ah!! only if the world was perfect and we all loved our loved ones more than ourselves... My heart already goes out to the kids...


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

:focus::focus::focus::focus::focus:

The OP didn't ask for marriage guidance from posters, and as we all know we have no idea what happens behind closed doors..


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## angelican (Nov 28, 2012)

There any family counselling centers in Dubai which deals with family problems.. where the husband and the wife could go and attend sessions.. It would be a lot easier if the couple can get the things sorted out before they think about divorce.. If you can't get things sorted out between you two, take an outside help.. it would help you in some way!

Being an expat, with kids, would make things a lot tougher for the couple. It may not be easy as living in your home country. It requires a lot of understanding between to couples to lead a life of peace. 

Kids are really sensitive. You can make or break a kid. Kids from broken homes really show a lot of negativeness as and when they grow up. You need to think about it too.. They really need the father and the mother in one home.

I know the question was not about whether or not to divorce. But I just shared my thoughts as I value the concept of family a lot! 

Hope you take the right decision! 

With Prayers!!


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

angelican said:


> There any family counselling centers in Dubai which deals with family problems.. where the husband and the wife could go and attend sessions.. It would be a lot easier if the couple can get the things sorted out before they think about divorce.. If you can't get things sorted out between you two, take an outside help.. it would help you in some way!
> 
> Being an expat, with kids, would make things a lot tougher for the couple. It may not be easy as living in your home country. It requires a lot of understanding between to couples to lead a life of peace.
> 
> ...


While I understand that there are no right and wrong answers and it's all a matter of perspective, two of your statements are just generalisations.

How a child grows up depends on the atmosphere at home, irrespective of whether there are both parents living there or not. I agree that children need both the parents but they do not need to be under the same roof to be able to raise their child properly.


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## Goochmonster (Dec 10, 2012)

I would never Hold my Kids ransom, they need us both. I continuously ask her not to raise her voice especially that kids are around. She starts telling my son Im a thief and dishonest.. The issue is we run a family business and work together, its a power struggle, its all about MONEY. I adore my kids and Im sure she also does. I was raised that I never heard my father raise his voice to my mother, she was raised watching her father abuse phisically her mother Until the age of 21 and she kicked him out of the house.
What makes her furious, is that the company is under my name and she is trying to kick me out. Kids are suffering through all this. 
I still want to keep my family and for her to realize that Family which includes me comes first. She would prefer Her best girlfriend than keeping me.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Goochmonster said:


> I would never Hold my Kids ransom, they need us both. I continuously ask her not to raise her voice especially that kids are around. She starts telling my son Im a thief and dishonest.. The issue is we run a family business and work together, its a power struggle, its all about MONEY. I adore my kids and Im sure she also does. I was raised that I never heard my father raise his voice to my mother, she was raised watching her father abuse phisically her mother Until the age of 21 and she kicked him out of the house.
> What makes her furious, is that the company is under my name and she is trying to kick me out. Kids are suffering through all this.
> I still want to keep my family and for her to realize that Family which includes me comes first. She would prefer Her best girlfriend than keeping me.


I feel for you and your family and sincerely hope that you all find a way to work things out without your kids getting hurt in the process. Please try and be as amicable as possible, be the bigger and better person, your kids will appreciate it. All the best!


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## Goochmonster (Dec 10, 2012)

I acutally sorted things out.. I told her that Ill include her in the Trade License and be the MD. IN return, ofcoarse with a contract between both with complete details. So, ill see what happeneds from there.. Thank you all for your posts, appreciate everyones input.


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## Grt1 (Nov 7, 2012)

Hopes things work out between you two for the sake of kids... Goodluck


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