# Marry a Manchester girl ?????



## PETERFC

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A Manchester Girl

The first man married a woman from Essex. He told her that she was to do
the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the
third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Sussex. He gave his wife orders that
she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he
didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the
third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Manchester. He ordered her to keep the
house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on
the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything,
the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the
swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and
his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load
the dishwasher.

He still has some difficulty when he pees.

Peterfc 666? a super hero

Like i normally use xtra


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## Mr.Blueskies

Why is the gap between a womans breasts and her hips called a waist ?


Because








You could easily fit another pair of breasts in there.
:eyebrows:


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## nicola67

PETERFC said:


> THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A Manchester Girl
> 
> The first man married a woman from Essex. He told her that she was to do
> the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the
> third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
> 
> The second man married a woman from Sussex. He gave his wife orders that
> she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he
> didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the
> third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
> 
> The third man married a girl from Manchester. He ordered her to keep the
> house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on
> the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything,
> the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the
> swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and
> his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load
> the dishwasher.
> 
> He still has some difficulty when he pees.
> 
> Peterfc 666? a super hero
> 
> Like i normally use xtra


Haaaaa! Very Good! :clap2: Same goes if you marry a Liverpool girl!!!


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



nicola67 said:


> Haaaaa! Very Good! :clap2: Same goes if you marry a Liverpool girl!!!


Hi Nicola

Should have been an Essex girl. :clap2::clap2:

Peterfc 666?


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## Mr.Blueskies

Me thinks Peter that it should have been an oriental, filipina or an indian girl. All of those girls make wonderful and devoted wives. Ah, sure if I only knew 30 years ago what I know now.


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## Isola20

My what a load of sexist nonsense you fellas are spouting. Unlucky in love, chaps? I'm not surprised!


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## Mr.Blueskies

Hardly sexist nonsense ! I just think that it was better for everyone in times gone by, when men and women had clearly defined roles in life that were equally important and valuable. Now everything and everyone is messed up and with people working ALL hours just to keep body and soul together, it should be no surprise that the kids are all looney tunes. In Indian and asian culture these things have not been lost, at least not yet.

:eyebrows:


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## siobhanwf

Mr.Blueskies said:


> Hardly sexist nonsense ! I just think that it was better for everyone in times gone by, when men and women had clearly defined roles in life that were equally important and valuable. Now everything and everyone is messed up and with people working ALL hours just to keep body and soul together, it should be no surprise that the kids are all looney tunes. In Indian and asian culture these things have not been lost, at least not yet.
> 
> :eyebrows:


SERIOUSLY SEXIST. :boxing::boxing::boxing:
Your young lady is definitley NOT a looney tune. She is one of the nicest kids I know.
My two grandchildren come in the same bracket.
With 8 Vietnamese foster kids and a hubby who spent 34 years in the Royal Hong Kong Police i could also comment on asian and middle eastern culture... but refrain from it.


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## siobhanwf

*now to get my own back*

A woman is in a terrible accident, and she needs to recieve a brain transplant. The doctor tells her, "Well, a man's brain costs $900,000 dollars and a woman's costs $100,000." She is extremely offended and asks why. The doctor smiles and says, "That's not sexism, it's standard pricing procedure. We have to mark the women's brains down because they've been used."

AND MORE 

A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush bolders. He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari apperared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said thank you.


Driving to school one day, a young daughter asks her mother what 
happens to cars when they get old and banged up.
"Someone sells them to your father," comes the answer.


The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three."
"Four," answers the boy.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes 
after ten?"
"A jack," says the kid.



ENOUGH IS ENOUGH


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## Mr.Blueskies

SERIOUSLY SEXIST !!! Are you cruisin for a bruisin, Siobhan ?  You know what I mean. lol


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## siobhanwf

Mr.Blueskies said:


> SERIOUSLY SEXIST !!! Are you cruisin for a bruisin, Siobhan ?  You know what I mean. lol




yeah right , whatever


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



siobhanwf said:


> A woman is in a terrible accident, and she needs to recieve a brain transplant. The doctor tells her, "Well, a man's brain costs $900,000 dollars and a woman's costs $100,000." She is extremely offended and asks why. The doctor smiles and says, "That's not sexism, it's standard pricing procedure. We have to mark the women's brains down because they've been used."
> 
> AND MORE
> 
> A man rubbed a lamp and a genie came out. The man asked to be stronger than any other man. He was given the strength to crush bolders. He asked for the worlds fastest sports car and a ferrari apperared in front of him. He then asked to be smarter than any other every man on the earth. He was turned into a woman. She then said thank you.
> 
> 
> Driving to school one day, a young daughter asks her mother what
> happens to cars when they get old and banged up.
> "Someone sells them to your father," comes the answer.
> 
> 
> The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
> "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me."
> "Good. What comes after three."
> "Four," answers the boy.
> "What comes after six?"
> "Seven."
> "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes
> after ten?"
> "A jack," says the kid.
> 
> 
> 
> ENOUGH IS ENOUGH


:clap2::clap2::clap2:

Peterfc 666?


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## Isola20

Thanks Siobhán, your jokes have not only evened the balance, they've also cheered me right up. It seems to me that Mr BlueSkies' prescription for a happier world, where everybody "knows their place", doesn't work very well for any woman who wants more out of life than being an unpaid servant, ie a slave. Doesn't work for me or pretty much any woman I know. The world, thank God, has moved on!


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## Mr.Blueskies

"An unpaid servant ie a slave ? How dare you.  Did the men not go out, often to work in dangerous and horrible conditions and all done to bring home the bacon. Nice then to come home to a clean house and a hot meal. Nothing wrong with women wanting "more" out of life, but if they want kids surely they should stay home to care for them ? Don't see much bonding going on these days.

:eyebrows:


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## Mr.Blueskies

This is in a womans DNA. This is what they have evolved to do. Why fight nature ?


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## Isola20

Yuck. I give up. Carry on chaps - as you were.


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



Isola20 said:


> Thanks Siobhán, your jokes have not only evened the balance, they've also cheered me right up. It seems to me that Mr BlueSkies' prescription for a happier world, where everybody "knows their place", doesn't work very well for any woman who wants more out of life than being an unpaid servant, ie a slave. Doesn't work for me or pretty much any woman I know. The world, thank God, has moved on!


I had a slave my OH was happy to take the money and give nothing back so the answer was to get rid. She has now accepted the divorce offer. Now Peter has a smile on his face. 

Peterfc 666?


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## Mr.Blueskies

Sounds like you were the slave Pete. Even have to pay them off to get rid of. They have a hard time of it, don't they ?


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



Mr.Blueskies said:


> Sounds like you were the slave Pete. Even have to pay them off to get rid of. They have a hard time of it, don't they ?


Hi Mr.Blueskies

Yes i must admit i was the slave. Yes a slave to work to get the money to keep her happy but nobody told her how to be happy. She doesn't know yet but this week i am moving out of our home and moving into a house that i have for sale. Ready for my escape to Gois. 

Enough for now 

Peter 666?


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## John999

God biggest mistake was giving women the capacity to speak. They have so many other things they can use their mouth for


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## siobhanwf

Getting just a bit tired of this thread. 


Maybe it is just proving the anatomical placement/location of their brains


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



John999 said:


> God biggest mistake was giving women the capacity to speak. They have so many other things they can use their mouth for


:clap2::clap2::clap2:

Peterfc 666?


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## PETERFC

*Reply*

Hi Folks

How did we get here, this started as something that was sent to me from a mate. 

Peterfc 666?


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## Bebopalula

siobhanwf said:


> Getting just a bit tired of this thread.
> 
> 
> Maybe it is just proving the anatomical placement/location of their brains


Absolutely agree Siobhanwf. It does not give this forum much credibility either.


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## silvers

I hope you have noted how well behaved I am? Mrs Silvers would have my nuts for earrings if I played with these naughty boys.


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## Bebopalula

silvers said:


> I hope you have noted how well behaved I am? Mrs Silvers would have my nuts for earrings if I played with these naughty boys.


Noted! Good for you and Mrs Silvers, but with no disrespect (or personal knowledge) I would advise her that Ratners probably has more attractive earrings.


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## siobhanwf

Bebopalula said:


> Noted! Good for you and Mrs Silvers, but with no disrespect (or personal knowledge) I would advise her that Ratners probably has more attractive earrings.


Good for you Silvers....and I can confirm that Mrs Silvers will be very proud of you:clap2::clap2:

The problems with the ones who shout the most is that their wives are probably already wearing the earrings. Either that or their "brains" a devoid of grey matter


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## siobhanwf

Bebopalula said:


> Absolutely agree Siobhanwf. It does not give this forum much credibility either.


EXACTLY :clap2::clap2::clap2:


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## Mr.Blueskies

"How dare you ! I am out standing in my field !


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## Mr.Blueskies

If the missus knew Silvers, you would "most definately" be two people short for a threesome ! lol


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



Mr.Blueskies said:


> If the missus knew Silvers, you would "most definately" be two people short for a threesome ! lol


:clap2::clap2::clap2:

Peterfc 666? Important announcement tomorrow


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## silvers

Even with Mrs Silvers I am still two short.


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## Mr.Blueskies

"Well if your too short, your too short !


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## John999

When god made the MAN, he achived perfection, toke some time off to think, and then, he made the woman. Since then, god or man never had a day without pain.That is the reason why god never had a woman, wife or girlfriend


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



John999 said:


> When god made the MAN, he achived perfection, toke some time off to think, and then, he made the woman. Since then, god or man never had a day without pain.That is the reason why god never had a woman, wife or girlfriend


Hi John

Pity women do not know that it was God who made use perfect.

Peterfc 666?


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## siobhanwf

John999 said:


> When god made the MAN, he achived perfection, toke some time off to think, and then, he made the woman. Since then, god or man never had a day without pain.That is the reason why god never had a woman, wife or girlfriend




<Who says.....have you read about Mary Magedelen??


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## Dennis

siobhanwf said:


> <Who says.....have you read about Mary Magedelen??


Was she a Manchester girl?


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## Isola20

Please, guys - could this stop now? The constant stream of anti-women statements is starting to put me off using this forum, as it doesn't feel like a very welcoming place.


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## Mr.Blueskies

[Who says ..... have you heard about Mary Magdalene ??]
Did she work in the magdalene laundry, for the sisters of charity ?

:confused2:


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## Mr.Blueskies

I heard somewhere, that she had "LOTS" of baggage, emotional problems and was in need of counselling. Enter Jesus !

:eyebrows:


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



Isola20 said:


> Please, guys - could this stop now? The constant stream of anti-women statements is starting to put me off using this forum, as it doesn't feel like a very welcoming place.


Hi Isola

It's what we do have some fun. Why not have a go back.There are Forums where fun is not allowed and you can get banned. I have plus others have. 

Peterfc the banned 666?man


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## Isola20

I'm already a member of the forum you mention. Not only is it more fun than this one, but you also get a more intelligent level of conversation there. I'd be tempted to think THAT'S why you got banned, PeterFC, if the real reason hadn't already been explained to me.


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



Mr.Blueskies said:


> I heard somewhere, that she had "LOTS" of baggage, emotional problems and was in need of counselling. Enter Jesus !
> 
> :eyebrows:


Hi Mr.Blueskies

Perhaps our friend Setanta may have some advice to offer

Ps Who is mary? :clap2:

Peterfc the banned 666?man


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## siobhanwf

No slagging please!!


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



Isola20 said:


> I'm already a member of the forum you mention. Not only is it more fun than this one, but you also get a more intelligent level of conversation there. I'd be tempted to think THAT'S why you got banned, PeterFC, if the real reason hadn't already been explained to me.


I have on this and another Forum covered this matter a numbers of times.

If the Forum you mean is the the i was banned from then the reason is i publicly changed my user name. I did not want to do a post with the number 666 You can do a search and verify this. The only time that there was any kind of banter like you have seen here was when my friend Nigel and i had a good day when in the end " monis " stopped the post.

I trust this clears up the matter of my ban. I was informed that it would be reviewed after twelve months. Maybe i should see how things are at the other place. 

But please have a go when we are having a bit of light hearted banter. 

Peterfc the banned 666?


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## PETERFC

*Reply*



Mr.Blueskies said:


> Setanta ? Is that the knob head with the agony uncle thread on expat focus ?


Hi Mr.Blueskies

No he seems a bit quite at the moment, just when i need help with my divorce. Perhaps he will come back from his long sleep. Rip Van Setanta

Peterfc For today only A Super hero


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## silvers

Siobhan,
Blueskies=Setanta.
Isola, please ignore the naughty little boys on here, they are in good need of a spanking.


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## Mr.Blueskies

Spanking my arse ! How dare you. 

Pete, your not going to try and re-join that other one when you BAN is reviewed ? Please say no!  Anyway, like that lady has pointed out, it is just too high brow and intellectual for ya. 

Probably why she likes it.


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## PETERFC

Mr.Blueskies said:


> Spanking my arse ! How dare you.
> 
> Pete, your not going to try and re-join that other one when you BAN is reviewed ? Please say no!  Anyway, like that lady has pointed out, it is just too high brow and intellectual for ya.
> 
> Probably why she likes it.


Mr.Blueskies and all

How could i even want to go elseware. Do you think that Monis would let me back and do i need it? You only have to have a look at some of the things we have got up to in the past. Do we need warning by the Forum Police again who cares not me. I had a customer come into my shop one day and heard one half of a bit of banter. The customer i was having a laugh with is an old friend who comes from Scotland the half that was heard was me saying some things to my mate Dave. This other customer who i have never seen before and i hope never again complained to our Head Office about my racial comments.

The moral is you need to be a little light hearted and have a bit of fun. But if the comments of others bothers you. On this Forum don't keep quiet get stuck in and have your say.

What may go on with other Forums is for them. For any members who whis i only ever use the same username. For me i am the same everwhere. I have somewhere else had someone comment about how i did a title for a post. So what the post go attention.

If you want to know more about me about me read my BLOG there is no charge.

About time someone opened up the Mens Club again boy there was nice pictures of the nurses on that one. 

Need to go now someone has complained about my views on Windooooz. Relax not this Forum.

Night all

Peterfc 666? for today a Superhero


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## John999

Men Are Like...
... Blenders.
You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

... Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

... Coffee.
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

... Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

... Computers.
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

... Coolers.
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

... Copiers.
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

... Curling Irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.

... Government Bonds.
They take way too long to mature.

... Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

... Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.

... Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

... Parking Spots.
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.

... Popcorn.
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

... Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
:tongue1::tongue1::tongue1:

A trough intelegent person has allways two options;
1-Fallow the flow
2- don´t join in to something you believe to be not enough intelegent for yourself

Only a dum person feels the need to tell others how intelegent he or she is
:eyebrows::eyebrows::eyebrows:


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## Mr.Blueskies

I find that there is always some stuffy, high brow, opinionated, kill job about (usually female) :eyebrows: who just chooses to read things into situations
and harmless comments made that "only exist in their own minds. Next you hear the disapproving tones and the feigned exasperations and yes, always the veiled threat that some sort of action and censorship should be applied to these nasty uncouth ruffians and undesirables. lol.

The sort who like to freely express their own opinions, but who do not have the good grace to extend this same right to others. Is that what it means to be politically incorrect ?


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## Mr.Blueskies

They also like to make a few sly digs and are masters of the personal put down. Snobbery is what it is. Reminds me of a right nasty old crone on another forum who went by the name
of alligator. lol Took them a very long time to see what she was about and finally ban her. lol

The loonie had several user names and used to talk , support and agree with herself and next go and attack those who she did not feel were her intellectual equals. She was loonie tunes. lol


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## Mr.Blueskies

Do you all realise that Terry Wogan has three wigs. One that looks newly cut. One that looks medium length and one that is overgrown and looks in need of a trim. Clever that Wogan. lol


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## Mr.Blueskies

Look Pete, i'm the 333 man. Do I win a prize ?


:clap2:


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## John999

I am sure pete will let you join his new mens club, and for you will be fee free
:eyebrows:


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## Mr.Blueskies

A mens club ? Can you still say that today John ? There are some who think that men should "certainly not" have a mens club. How dare they ! 



:eyebrows:


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## John999

Democracy aloud an opinion to everyone, even the ones with an attitude problem. If JC has forgiven the ones who put him to the cross, we have to forgive the brain dead as well


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## PETERFC

Mr.Blueskies said:


> Look Pete, i'm the 333 man. Do I win a prize ?
> 
> 
> :clap2:


Mr.Blueskies

Yes free membership to the Men's club. We will check in case we get some pretend men apply.

Peterfc 666?


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## PETERFC

John999 said:


> Democracy aloud an opinion to everyone, even the ones with an attitude problem. If JC has forgiven the ones who put him to the cross, we have to forgive the brain dead as well


John

Why 

Peterfc 666?


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## omostra06

This thread is now closed as it has little to do with Portugal and seems to be upsetting people which is not in the interest of the forum, please refrain from naming names of other forums and individuals if its meant in an unpleasant way. 

this forum does have a freindly feel to it, please lets try to make all members feel welcome.


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