# First communion customs



## TundraGreen

I need advice. I have just been invited to a young Mexican friend's first communion. Is it customary to give a gift? If yes, would cash be an acceptable gift? This is a family with not much money. And finally, if cash is acceptable, what would be a reasonable amount? I was thinking of getting a new $500 peso bill from the bank and putting it in an envelope. Good idea or not?

Thanks,


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## circle110

I asked my wife and she immediately said that a cash gift is considered bad form. A gift is customary but it should be nothing extravagant. She suggested perhaps $300 pesos in value.


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## Guest

I asked my daughter and some of her 11-13 y.o. friends. Most common gifts are something like a decorated t-shirt, a cute little pillow or other decoration for their room, a small cross, etc. If the gift giver doesn't know the child involved well, then maybe 200 pesos. They said 500 pesos in cash was probably more appropriate as a gift for a Quinceañera.


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## sparks

500 is over doing it but cash ... no. Since you can have your first communion at any age that would be a clue on what to buy. Normally around 8-10 years but teenagers do it too. 

I went to a first communion last Sunday with 60+ kids because in our small town they only do it once a month (or less) because a head priest comes down from Autlan. 

I bought a stuffed teddy bear for a nine year old girl. If it's clothes include the receipt so they can exchange it


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## TundraGreen

Thanks to all of you. I now have a much better idea of what to do. This is a 10 year old boy. I am going to look for a small gift.


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## edgeee

whatever you decide on, add a wiffle ball and bat. every 10 year old should own one of each.


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## Isla Verde

edgeee said:


> whatever you decide on, add a wiffle ball and bat. every 10 year old should own one of each.


Do Mexican boys play wiffle ball? I would have thought that soccer (known as _fútbol_ here) would be their favorite sport.


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## mickisue1

Isla Verde said:


> Do Mexican boys play wiffle ball? I would have thought that soccer (known as _fútbol_ here) would be their favorite sport.


FWIW, the custom in the US is similar to what's being described here.

Smallish, age appropriate and/or religious gifts are the rule of the day. If you know that the first communicant is a reader, then age appropriate books work, too.

I'm going to assume that the boy involved is between 8 and 10. As noted, first communions can happen at any age, but for those raised from babies as Catholic, between 8 and 10 is the rule.


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## edgeee

Isla Verde said:


> Do Mexican boys play wiffle ball? I would have thought that soccer (known as _fútbol_ here) would be their favorite sport.


which is exactly why i want TG to start a trend. any child who never gets to play wiffle ball is a child deprived. 
all it takes is one ball, one bat, and two kids.


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## Mr. P Mosh

edgeee said:


> which is exactly why i want TG to start a trend. any child who never gets to play wiffle ball is a child deprived.
> all it takes is one ball, one bat, and two kids.


With a soccer ball, you don't even need another kid (and I said it as someone raised in Monterrey, where baseball is still sort of popular, still, soccer all the way). 

I'm currently atheist but had a first communion when I was 10 as well, I don't remember getting many gifts, just some money and clothes, I don't think gifts are a must... but maybe a book would be a good and original gift (maybe the first Harry Potter book or something like that).


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## conorkilleen

edgeee said:


> which is exactly why i want TG to start a trend. any child who never gets to play wiffle ball is a child deprived.
> all it takes is one ball, one bat, and two kids.


Why 2 kids? I used to play by myself when my brother was doing something else. We has a huge yard and I would throw the ball up in the air and see how far I could hit it. Did that with tennis balls as well. I got my hide tanned by my mother a few times for loosing so many of them (my mother played a lot of tennis).

Soccer balls a dime a dozen here in Mexico. I would guess that every boy here has at least one or two. A soccer ball to me is not a good gift. Good luck trying to find a wiffle ball bat set here.

my 2 cents and along the lines of what Posh said...a book is the best gift and/or board games. You can get a board game here for less than 500 pesos


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## Mr. P Mosh

Now a board game would be cool as well... I got a chess set and scrabble in some birthdays... got lots of fun with them.


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## TundraGreen

Thanks everyone. I went with a jigsaw puzzle, a Harry Potter book and a Rubik's cube.


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## mickisue1

Mr. P Mosh said:


> With a soccer ball, you don't even need another kid (and I said it as someone raised in Monterrey, where baseball is still sort of popular, still, soccer all the way).
> 
> I'm currently atheist but had a first communion when I was 10 as well, I don't remember getting many gifts, just some money and clothes, I don't think gifts are a must... but maybe a book would be a good and original gift (maybe the first Harry Potter book or something like that).


My parents gave me a bride doll, to go with the white dress and veil that little girls wear for the ceremony.

From assorted relatives I got crucifixes, pictures of Mary, etc. No money, that I recall. It was the first big party where I was the center of attention, and I wasn't quite sure how to handle it. With my mom's 5 siblings, and MY 5 sibs, there were a lot of cousin/sib parties, and the grown ups always had New Year's Eve at one or another house, where we were banned.

I haven't been to a first communion in a long time, though, not since I decided that a Church that put someone as evil as the religious ed nun in charge, who told my kids they were from a broken home, was no place for me or them.


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## Quetza

TundraGreen said:


> Thanks everyone. I went with a jigsaw puzzle, a Harry Potter book and a Rubik's cube.



Good choices! I would be concerned about the kid already owning the book though. (edit: Can't believe I said that, one can never have too many books!) And, now you'll have to teach him how to solve the Rubik's cube  I hate those things... Rubik is the worst cubes brand.


And how does wiffle ball works? I don't think I've ever played that


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## edgeee

Quetza said:


> . . .And how does wiffle ball works? I don't think I've ever played that


ah, where to begin?
wiffle ball is a spin-off from baseball, as is softball, but better for young kids.
a softball is not really soft, and much too big for small hands.

a wiffle ball is about the size of a baseball, but it's made of soft plastic.
it's hollow, white in color, and one half of the surface has holes in it.
the bat is also soft plastic and hollow. neither weighs much at all.

the ball won't break windows, and won't travel as far, due to very little mass.
and it's almost impossible to be hurt by being struck by the ball.
i suppose the bat would hurt some, but only a stinging type, no bleeding, no broken bones.

since the bat and ball are so light, even small kids can play, 5-6 yrs old is fine.

a number of factors, mostly the holes, make it possible to pitch the ball in wicked ways.
it will curve like crazy, and experienced players can do fantastic things with it.

so, it's great for all ages - i still played as an adult - and it's as safe as sports can be.

any baseball fan can adapt the rules to suit the situation, i.e. use a backyard for a diamond.
(T.G., the diamond is what the infield is called.)
use whatever works for home plate and the three bases, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.

one-on-one goes something like this:

typically, home plate is in front of a fence or wall so no one has to go chase the ball after each pitch.
the strike zone is the width of home plate, and goes from the batter's knees to mid-chest high.
i'm gonna trust everyone to know about the 3 outs per inning, 3 strikes is an out, and so on.
an umpire is good to have, but not required. works good with 3 kids, the ump gets to play the winner.

some ground rules must be established, such as regarding singles, doubles, triples and homeruns,
usually based on how far a batted ball travels in the air. 
the baselines to first and third establish fair or foul territory.

team A, home team, starts by pitching to the visitors, team B, at the bat.
ground balls, in fair territory, must be fielded by the pitcher, and then thrown at the batter.
if the batter can reach first base before the fielder/pitcher can hit him with the ball, he's safe.
if the thrown ball hits him first, the batter is out.
batter goes back to bat again with or without an 'imaginary' runner on first base.

and so on from there, much like baseball, except for the imaginary runner part.
this is how i remember it from 50 years ago, so the official rules may vary quite a bit.

there is a lot about it online, including the official site and complete rules,
but the rules are often just a starting point, adjustable to suit the players' needs.
and there are many youtube videos to look at.
it is amazing what an expert can do with the ball.
Wiffle Ball is a trademark, but knock-offs are nearly as good, and here i can find them at the dollar store.

as for futbol, personally, i can't see how anyone can really enjoy playing or watching a sport 
that only allows the goalie to use his hands.
it must have been invented by thieves who had their hands cut off.


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## Mr. P Mosh

edgeee said:


> as for futbol, personally, i can't see how anyone can really enjoy playing or watching a sport
> that only allows the goalie to use his hands.
> it must have been invented by thieves who had their hands cut off.


It's so simple.... too simple everybody can play it, you just need to kick a ball, but for those who likes challenges master it is so hard you need to practice it practically daily and there's always great players around to play with (in Mexico at least)... the best of two worlds.


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## stilltraveling

conorkilleen said:


> Soccer balls a dime a dozen here in Mexico.


While soccer balls in general are everywhere, a brand-name soccer ball, especially Nike or Adidas (official sponsor of the national team), is a prized possession for any tween/teen boy in Mexico. I've given several and their eyes light up like giving a car to an 18-year-old. Conspicuous consumption even exists on the football pitch. Official jerseys are also always appreciated. It makes them stand out among all the knockoff jerseys out there. Everyone wants a little bit of pro gear.


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## mickisue1

TundraGreen said:


> Thanks everyone. I went with a jigsaw puzzle, a Harry Potter book and a Rubik's cube.


I think you nailed it, Will.

At least, if any of my boys were still 10, they would have loved all three!


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## Longford

edgeee said:


> which is exactly why i want TG to start a trend. any child who never gets to play wiffle ball is a child deprived.
> all it takes is one ball, one bat, and two kids.


In the Mexican culture, a soccer ball would be far more appropriate than a wiffle ball and bat, a gift which think will be appreciated.


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## edgeee

Longford said:


> In the Mexican culture, a soccer ball would be far more appropriate than a wiffle ball and bat, a gift which think will be appreciated.


Longford i'm sure you are correct. all i know about Mexico and it's culture is second hand at best, so clearly i'm a novice.
and i know very little about 'rites of passage' in general, which is sorta what this thread is about. 

when and where i was born, we celebrated manhood by moving up from operating a hoe, to driving a tractor,
and age had little to do with it, it was about being capable. (religion was not a factor either.)

in fact, that was the point, to reach a status of being good enough to be trusted with expensive equipment,
knowing full well that we would somehow find a way to break the tractor. phase two was having to help fix what was broken.

but i want to address your point, not reminisce. at the same time, i want to respect the OP thread,
which is obviously about gringos responding to Mexican ways, or customs in general.
i won't try to sell you or anyone on the virtues of baseball, that belongs elsewhere, but understand this:
i personally believe that baseball is the best way any child can learn how intricate and complex life can be, and how to deal with that. (more on this later. meet me in the junkyard when it opens.)

oddly enough, the child in question would seem to be the most important part of the equation, but no; other factors intervene.
without going into the details of why, let me say this: the child actually comes third. details to follow.

to shorten this, i will combine 1 and 2 into 1. (else the kid would be 4th!)

priority 1: MOM. priority 1A: Dad. if the gift makes either of them uncomfortable, it's wrong.
if they like your gift a lot, you become part of the extended family. nuf said.

priority 2: the community. if you want to make a kid the laughing stock of his/her generation, give a pacifier.
branding somebody as a baby is bullying. but it happens. you wouldn't want to do it by accident.
so take a minute to consider what his peers will think when they see the 'gift'.

priority 3: the Recepient. obviously the gift should be pleasing. but thoughtful benefactors think about the future.
to me, the hardest part is figuring out what the child WILL need, not what was relevant 2-4 years ago.
challange them. anything that makes them think is good. if it makes them smile, even better.
if it takes them a while to grow into it, it's value lasts longer.
which brings me back to wiffle ball.

if you are the only kid in town with a wiffle ball, you are the king of wiffle ball. this is special.

if a kid owns the only set of dominos in town (highly unlikely), he has a chance to learn about math.
(didn't you know it's about a finite number of numbers?)

if a ball is going to be special, it must be different.
i find it hilarious that 'bend it like beckham' became a movie.
if you want to bend the path of a projectile, you can't beat a wiffle ball.
(i haven't even mentioned how it helps a kid learn about physics and aerodynamics!)

and maybe this is just me, but i think society in general treasures a trend setter.
those who point the way into the future also lead the parade.

and finally, baseball has a long and important tradition in Mexico.
can you say/(google) Fernandomania? anyone who opens that door to a young fertile mind has done a service to humanity.


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## Mr. P Mosh

Baseball has a long and important tradition in SOME ZONES of Mexico... I went to a _Sultanes_ game (against _Saraperos de Saltillo_, Sultanes won by the way ) this past friday and it was a great experience... I've always had friends and family involved in many of the Little leagues all over the city and I've attended some games of my friends but this was my first time in a Mexican league match... the experience was cool and I was glad there were like 10,000 persons at the _Palacio Sultán_, many of them young people in their 20s... but this is Monterrey we're talking about, we also LOVE our college American football teams (_Autenticos_ all the way!), baseball has been a big part of the sports culture of this city for long time, the same would apply to the North West and South East zones of the country where baseball is even king, still, 90% of the kids play football soccer most the time and a kid from the center of the country or the West (Jalisco, Nayarit) wouldn't be interested in baseball at all because nobody plays it there.


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