# Moving with Family, Thoughts



## expat_dude (Nov 20, 2010)

Hi All! I stumbled across this forum at the right time! I am currently working in Luanda Angola on a 28 on /28 off work schedule, My family stays in Mississippi and I travel back/forth. 
I have been married for 20 years and we have two boys, Cody age 17 and Cameron age 11. Cody graduates from high school in May.

Ok now the fun part,, I have an opportunity for company move to Dubai. My question is how have other families with similar age children adapted. My wife and kids have not traveled outside the US. I have traveled a good bit.

Our adventurous side says "Go for it" while we worry about my oldest son staying behind and going to college and our other family. My mother in law has no other family other than my wife, while I have a large and close family in our home town...

Sorry for the ramble,,, just so much to consider :juggle:


----------



## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

expat_dude said:


> Hi All! I stumbled across this forum at the right time! I am currently working in Luanda Angola on a 28 on /28 off work schedule, My family stays in Mississippi and I travel back/forth.
> I have been married for 20 years and we have two boys, Cody age 17 and Cameron age 11. Cody graduates from high school in May.
> 
> Ok now the fun part,, I have an opportunity for company move to Dubai. My question is how have other families with similar age children adapted. My wife and kids have not traveled outside the US. I have traveled a good bit.
> ...


If your wife and children have never traveled outside the US then they first need to be prepared for a huge culture shock! While Dubai is extremely modernised and is a city of flash and dash, it is still decades behind when it comes to the way people do business out here. This is not America and a lot of people who have come here assuming it to resemble anything close to home have been severely disappointed. I have a colleague who moved to Dubai 4 months ago from Florida and tried to change the system to suit his way, it didn't work and now he's slowly learning to adjust.

Dubai is a great city if you are paid well enough for you and your family to live a comfortable life. If you browse through this forum, you will find a lot of discussions about families about to move or those that have moved plus what the average salary expectation should be for a family with school-going children.

Good luck with whatever you decide.


----------



## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

I strongly suggest you come for a visit before making a definite decision. Whilst a holiday is not the same as living here, at least your family might get a feel for the place.

Good luck in whatever you decide.


----------



## Nightshadow (Sep 21, 2010)

Elphaba said:


> I strongly suggest you come for a visit before making a definite decision. Whilst a holiday is not the same as living here, at least your family might get a feel for the place.
> 
> Good luck in whatever you decide.


Bingo. This is probably your best option, unless you are worried that you have more of a adventurous side than your wife and children and they might foil your plans of adventure... in that case here is what Ive noticed in my 2 weeks in Dubai: 

1. Freedom - For men there a bit more freedom than for women. You dont see too many scantily clad women running around. You cannot make out in public, and in some cases even a prolonged hug might be seen as a no-no, although Ive seen many couples hugging while walking or holding hands. 

2. Lifestyle - If you make good money, youll have a great time here. All the fun stuff to do, requires money. Again, I just arrived 2 weeks ago and had pre-planned for this so brought savings and Ive been running around all over the city, enjoying my ever-diminishing savings account, hah. If your salary isnt so great, you might find it hard to adjust here. 

3. Behavior - Certain things arent allowed, like drinking in public, driving under the influence here (zero tolerance). Even swearing is seen as incorrect by some people ... I was at the mall once and we Americans have a bad habit of using the word starting with F, ending in uck for even positive, interesting things... Like "hey thats ****ing cool man!" When I said something like this, I received some really creepy stares. So now I say freaking instead. 

4. Holidays and weekends - Dont expect to receive any type of service from municipalities, building managers, etc during non-work hours. Im currently staying in an apartment which has a bad smell / plumbing problem and was told by the management company, that due to most of their staff being Muslim, they would not be able to attend to the problem for a week, as everyone was off. (These are the comforts I think others are talking about, which are hard to adapt to, in the US / Canada, even on Christmas Eve you can make people come out to see to your problem). 

5. Travel - Consider budgeting to buy, lease or rent a car here. Distances are vast and if you really want to see the city and enjoy it, you will need a car. Makes things so much easier. 

Hope to see you guys here soon!

Oh, forgot to add. All that aside, Dubai is VERY modern and super trendy. Many things outshine even American stuff, like most buildings here, even 2 story ones have nice elevators. I had a nice laugh at that. Id say on a "tech-level" Dubai is pretty much right up there with larger cities like New York, Los Angeles and Chicago. Internet services in some areas are horrible (Im currently on a 786k download speed at the apartment I rent, I think thats what my grandmother used back in the 1920's). Anyway, you get the idea. Most things are equal if not better... other areas are still developing.


----------



## wandabug (Apr 22, 2010)

Consider your options if your family do not like it here. Friends of mine came out in September leaving their eldest at home (he is in Uni). Hubby gives up his job in UK and starts very well paid job in Dubai. The wife hated Dubai. Kids enrolled at school - really hate it. They live in a small village in UK and hate the built up city life here. Hate the school, missing their friends, hate the heat. 2 weeks ago she packs up and takes the kids home leaving him in Dubai. He has to stay, they need his income! Now he has to fly home once a month to see his family for 2 days. At least England is only 6 hours from Dubai.


----------



## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

Nightshadow said:


> Dubai is VERY modern and super trendy.





Nightshadow said:


> Dubai is pretty much right up there with larger cities like New York, Los Angeles and Chicago.



2 weeks you say? Give it six months and we'll see if you still think that


----------



## Nightshadow (Sep 21, 2010)

Mr Rossi said:


> 2 weeks you say? Give it six months and we'll see if you still think that



Haha! Dont scare me man!


----------



## Canuck_Sens (Nov 16, 2010)

wandabug said:


> Consider your options if your family do not like it here. Friends of mine came out in September leaving their eldest at home (he is in Uni). Hubby gives up his job in UK and starts very well paid job in Dubai. The wife hated Dubai. Kids enrolled at school - really hate it. They live in a small village in UK and hate the built up city life here. Hate the school, missing their friends, hate the heat. 2 weeks ago she packs up and takes the kids home leaving him in Dubai. He has to stay, they need his income! Now he has to fly home once a month to see his family for 2 days. At least England is only 6 hours from Dubai.


 I totally agree. I have been here for 3 weeks and I noticed right away the different culture but I do not think that it is that shocking maybe because I am a guy who does not require much. However, It can be difficult to get your family adjusted if you have a very peculiar life style in a sense that you might not find everything you had access b4. 

I think it is pretty hard on women. I feel women who were raised on the west at least will find their rights more restrained and this is where I think we guys have to work out to make things easier for our loved ones. 

I would recommend you to live in neighbourhoods loaded with expats. This will help easing your wife and children expectations and make new friends. 

Be open minded and have a positive attitude! This helps a great deal! It is a different country and you are visitors, being open minded and accept differences are key in my mind meaning do not shield yourselves from locals or any other nationality. 

and prepare your tongues there are lots of spicy dishes here!!!


----------



## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Mississippi. 

Does your family live in a small town or in one of the large cities? Going from a small place to a big city would be quite difficult in itself. Dubai didnt build in parks and relaxation areas (I am comparing this to Nashville, Kansas City, Raleigh, and my 'home town' of Austin). It is a concrete city overall. 

The weather isnt nice. Six months out of the year, its over 115 most every day, dropping to like 95 or so at night. Around 2 more of the months, it is about 90 or so during the day and the same at night. At least its nice enough that you can go outside and do something but its far from ideal weather. There are really only 4 months of nice weather here. End of Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb, and then by mid march, its already hitting 95 to 100 on some days even though nights during march will still drop down to 80 or so for a few weeks. 

At eleven, that is a rough age anyhow. I understand about 1/2 of what most british people say. And they speak english as their native language. I understand very little of what other people say here. Not sure if the schools are taught by british people or americans but would be a concern for me if I had children. No football (there was a thread about a group doing football for youth on here), no basketball, no baseball. If your kid is into sports, will have to take up soccer. That said, my niece and nephews play vidoes 90% of their time at home from school. So ?? 

Would strongly recommend living in an western expat area. Your wife will be happier if for nothing else but to not be stared at whilst walking to her car. It is not like the usa where everyone kind of mixes together. Alot I do believe has to do with being paid based on your passport. If someone is getting 10,000 dirhams a month with two kids, that family can not really keep up with the western family with two kids getting 30,000 a month who can afford to send their kids to karate, skiing at the mall, and all the other stuff. 

Coming on vacation is nothing like living here. Its like going to Vegas or living in Vegas. I think this place is alot like vegas, except not half as fun, alot more expensive, but probly more drunks here then there (amazingly!!!). 

If you are coming, make sure they are paying you VERY well for the inconvenience of living here.


----------



## jander13 (Mar 12, 2009)

> I have a colleague who moved to Dubai 4 months ago from Florida and tried to change the system to suit his way, it didn't work and now he's slowly learning to adjust


lol that's awesome, since he came from the US he probably really believed that it would work for the first month too i bet.




> Oh, forgot to add. All that aside, Dubai is VERY modern and super trendy. Many things outshine even American stuff, like most buildings here, even 2 story ones have nice elevators. I had a nice laugh at that. Id say on a "tech-level" Dubai is pretty much right up there with larger cities like New York, Los Angeles and Chicago.


are we living in the same dubai?! cos i wanna move to yours. oh and asap


----------



## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

I generally agree with you Jynxgirl but....



Jynxgirl said:


> Dubai didnt build in parks and relaxation areas


Safa park and Mumzar beach park are large, pleasant and worth a visit on lazy days off. There is also the large beach too.



Jynxgirl said:


> no basketball,


The public courts round our way are always busy most evenings, it's the national sport of the Philippines, no?


----------



## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Mr Rossi said:


> I generally agree with you Jynxgirl but....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


A few big parks isnt the same as bike trails and walking trails located throughout a city. The dredged sand pits that are called beach leaves a bit to be desired, to say the least of my experiences of them as a lone female have been far from pleasant. If you get out from dubai, there are actually nice beaches to go to with sea life and things to snorkel and see. This city had the ability to see all the faults and virtues of other cities and bulid a 'new' city from it. Who are these engineers that they hired and continue to hire?? 

Do they have organized basketball teams here for youth? I dont have kids so ?? Sports in the mid west states usually are the life blood of middle and high schools for kids.


----------



## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

Jynxgirl said:


> A few big parks isnt the same as bike trails and walking trails located throughout a city.


No, but as the boss said the other day, it's a bit rich and counter productive to expect everything here to be like home. Like I said both are pleasant, well maintained and sparse enough to either stroll through or have a picnic in seclusion. If you are after extreme hiking or proper mountain biking, this is available too outside the city, though take your point about this not being a year round activity. 



Jynxgirl said:


> to say the least of my experiences of them as a lone female have been far from pleasant.


If you have a 4x4 there are loads of secluded beaches from the Burj up to Jebel Ali. Not to mention ladies only days at the beach parks. That said my wife and her friends use the Jumeriah beach constantly and say that the problem with staring is almost non existant these days. Granted, they never go on a Friday though.



Jynxgirl said:


> Do they have organized basketball teams here for youth? I dont have kids so ??


I've no idea either but given how busy the courts are, especially on a Thursday evening, I'd be surprised there was no overspill into the school system.



Jynxgirl said:


> This city had the ability to see all the faults and virtues of other cities and bulid a 'new' city from it. Who are these engineers that they hired and continue to hire??


LOL, I think you could do a phd on this and what went 'wrong' I side with yourself most of the time but can often sit back on better days. Remember London has had since Roman times to get things right (which it doesn't always) Dubai has had only 40 or so years.


----------



## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

No, deffinatly do not expect it like home but for someone who is used to an active outdoorsy lifestyle, it would be a bit of a shock to alot of people who are trying to get a feel for dubai from the forum. 

I started a marine society here and the locals know lots of great places to go crab/snail/algae/fish hunting for our tanks. Fujairah is much better but its a bit of a drive and not a weekly weekend thing (unless your completely bored as me). Al Quwain is very very nice and not too long of a drive to get to some great mangrove areas. Plus they have big huge boats to go snorkeling and scuba diving (if I ever go get to that class)  When everyone was telling me back in April that I wasnt giving it enough of a chance, I went back to the marina beach and a guy literally did the deed sitting behind me clucking at me. I shall not go back. Is that different then the JBR beach? 

PH'd topic... Interesting.


----------



## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

Jynxgirl said:


> I went back to the marina beach and a guy literally did the deed sitting behind me clucking at me. I shall not go back. Is that different then the JBR beach?


Jumeriah Beach Park is sectioned off so you have to pay 5 AED or something to get in. On the beach section they have a life guard that stops leering men. 

On the open beach if you go left of the police station, (47 A st on google maps) there is an enclosed breakwater, friends use this area, as do Al Boom, for practising diving skills and night diving.

Plenty of people sunbathing, swimming and is also a quite mixed and a nice vibrant, though not that busy, part of the beach. Definately one of those "Dubai's not that bad" moments. I can't vouch for Fridays though.

Failling that drive back up Jumeriah Road towards the Burj and keep taking left turns until you find a secluded spot, it can be done as even the most amourous pervert is too lazy to walk the full length of the beach.


----------

