# Dealing with homesickness



## Bohemian Tragedy (Oct 24, 2009)

I have been in Australia for nearly six months and I love it. I do get homesick for my friends and family back home in the U.S. though. I have found it hard to make friends here quickly. It might be my own fault for not opening up enough. My partner works a lot and I am currently temping part time. If you are looking for quick work I suggest sending your resume to all of the temp agencies in your area - it may not be ideal work but it is money. 

I hope to meet more people and build lasting relationships in time but for now I stay in constant contact with friends back home and I also started writing a blog.

Having a creative outlet and staying busy has done wonders for keeping me distracted.


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

hey BT, 

welcome to the forum. wow, thats some screen name 
you did not say what city are you at? and what do u when u say u work part time? how r things rolling in AU otherwise


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## Bohemian Tragedy (Oct 24, 2009)

I'm in Adelaide and I work four days a week but I'm seeking perm work. Things are alright but I feel dependent on my partner a lot of times.


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

great. this is actually the best place to meet people. I have met so many here, three of them are my best friends now  and we keep discussing how it would be like to sit with a glass of wine and gossip like women do in australia.  while making the men work..


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## matjones (Jan 30, 2009)

Bohemian Tragedy said:


> I hope to meet more people and build lasting relationships in time but for now I stay in constant contact with friends back home and I also started writing a blog.


Writing a blog is a great idea. I plan on doing that once I make the move to keep family and friends updated on life down under. Blog about all the exciting things you are doing, and it might also start to attract local people in Adelaide who share their experiences too. 

If your having trouble meeting people, you could start doing volunteer work in your free time. or join a book club, or get a dog and start going to dog parks. I find Australians to be the friendliest bunch of people alive, and don't anticipate any problems finding new friends once we are there.


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

here in India, if we want to make friends or to get to know our neighbors we simply dish out something and take a bowl full to their place, stand at the door, chit chat a bit and bingo, done . they then come back with a bowl of whatever later (its a tradition not to return an empty bowl) and thats the beginning . try it sometime, it works wonders


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## Bohemian Tragedy (Oct 24, 2009)

I want to drink wine and gossip! Ha. I have met a girl from Canada on a flight here and she is now in Adelaide. We have opposite schedules though so it is hard to catch up. So there is her and a few workmates but I find myself longing for my friends at home. It is nice to know that you have made good friends here, keeps hope alive for me...haha.


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## matjones (Jan 30, 2009)

anj1976 said:


> here in India, if we want to make friends or to get to know our neighbors we simply dish out something and take a bowl full to their place, stand at the door, chit chat a bit and bingo, done . they then come back with a bowl of whatever later (its a tradition not to return an empty bowl) and thats the beginning . try it sometime, it works wonders


Try that here in the US and they will call the police for stalking... hahah


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## Bohemian Tragedy (Oct 24, 2009)

Australians really are great and if I knew I would be here permanently I would get a dog - have one back home. Where in Oz are you moving to?

To wit: Nine Million Kangaroos


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

hahaha yeah mat, i know how different things are here and there. trust me, i hv never done that.. my dad loves cooking and feeding people, i think cos when ppl eat what he makes, they are all praises


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

ok BT, will include u in the list of those I invite over for a gossip session haha


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## matjones (Jan 30, 2009)

Bohemian Tragedy said:


> ... but I find myself longing for my friends at home.


Well, its a good job they invented facebook.... it makes keeping in touch so much easier


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## matjones (Jan 30, 2009)

anj1976 said:


> ok BT, will include u in the list of those I invite over for a gossip session haha


are men welcome... cause i'm a bit of a gossip too.. ha


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## Bohemian Tragedy (Oct 24, 2009)

Haha. I'm not sure if many of my neighbors speak English but that is a good idea. There is an Indian couple a few apartments away and their cooking always smells so good! I wonder if I took an empty bowl to their apartment if they would let me eat? Craving Indian now.


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

yeah facebook is an addiction, i got cousins in spain and we are talking to each other more thn we used to when they were here. we share photos and look fwd to wisecracks from each other


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## Bohemian Tragedy (Oct 24, 2009)

I know! I'm addicted to Facebook. I think I sounded like a bit of a Debbie Downer earlier, just lonely at times. I should have joined this forum far earlier.


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

hehehehe mat yes men are welcome too but u got to gossip like women do (i wonder how is it done.. is there a book of rules?)

Aah Indian cooking, BT rest assured, lemme come there, i will make some nice curries.. is that inviting enough? and trust me, if u got indian neighbors, they wud love u over, they always make more thn they can eat, have a heart of gold (no offense to non indians) and praise a bit and they will be more thn glad to fill your bowls every now and then hehehe


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## matjones (Jan 30, 2009)

anj1976 said:


> hehehehe mat yes men are welcome too but u got to gossip like women do (i wonder how is it done.. is there a book of rules?)
> 
> Aah Indian cooking, BT rest assured, lemme come there, i will make some nice curries.. is that inviting enough? and trust me, if u got indian neighbors, they wud love u over, they always make more thn they can eat, have a heart of gold (no offense to non indians) and praise a bit and they will be more thn glad to fill your bowls every now and then hehehe


Now I know where to go for food once i'm in Canberra


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

shoot.. did i just say u r welcome? hehehehehe
can u manage the indian spices? incase u can, most welcome.. my husband is only indian food person, i guess u too have to make space for me, and thanks to my banding i eat like a baby..  I promise just the left overs are enough for me


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## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

Bohemian Tragedy said:


> I know! I'm addicted to Facebook. I think I sounded like a bit of a Debbie Downer earlier, just lonely at times. I should have joined this forum far earlier.


As you can see, I'm no where near Oz, but I do have lots of experience with the expat blues. They do seem to come and go in about 3 month cycles at first - then the cycles lengthen out to about 6 months between the ups and downs.

Find a club of any sort to join. Normally I'd recommend an expat club, but I don't find any of the ones I know in the Canberra area. There may be some, though, just ask around. Or look for any kind of "newcomers" club. Failing that, see if the local library or hospital takes volunteers or if the local town or schools offer exercise or other classes. (If you wind up finding a job, you can always back out.) Getting involved in just about anything is the best way to find a group of mates for the odd lunch or cocktail out. And you will have passed your first big milestone when you find that every time you go out shopping, you seem to run into someone you know. (I can tell you from experience how good that feels!)

Take a look, too, at the website for the US Embassy in Canberra - they often post lists of local associations that might be of interest and can get you a toe hold in the local social scene.
Cheers,
Bev


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## kaz101 (Nov 29, 2007)

When we moved here the first few months were great since both myself and my husband were out exploring the area and doing stuff together. However he then decided to get a job and I was working from home. 

Before I had moved I had found out about all the clubs in the area and I started going to them (yes without my husband  ). One was an expat group but the others were just things I'm interested in (Rotary, Toastmasters, local business group, local business women's network etc.). 

We also went around and introduced ourselves to our neighbours. Some of them keep themselves to themselves but a few of them are great and have invited us over for parties, BBQ's etc. where we get to meet more people. 

I also find Australians very friendly but I would say that they won't come to you, you have to go to them, and that's what you do by going to clubs etc. I've actually got one good friend here now who only lives around the corner which is great. She is the one who got me into belly dancing (and I'll be part of a recital in a few weeks  ). 

You never know where going out and meeting people will lead so try to find some clubs for things that you are interested in. And of course you've always got us in the forum! :grouphug:

Regards,
Karen


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## madi (Jul 7, 2009)

Hi BT ,

I am sure I will also be in your situation in another 4/6 months time.I got my visa in last July but still keep on postponing my move to Adelaide mainly I have my dead line in July 2010 and the second main reason is I am scared of living alone and still no idea how to say good bye to my parents & friends.I know Its' going to be really hard & I will cry for months  Hope it will take few month for me to settle myself and get use to new life stlye. I am in the process of making up my mind now convincing my self that I will establish my life in Adelaide and bring down my parents for a vacation soon.Firstly it was scare of visa approval ,once its' done now I am scared of moving . what a life !!!! who knows we might meet in Adelaide and make good friends


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## tmrei (Jul 11, 2008)

Hi there (perhaps another Queen lover--unless that is famous literary reference I'm oblivious to pre the great rock song ...

I'm in Melbourne--originally from (LA, NY, Boston, Cleveland). I moved in Sept. 2008-- I just want to offer a bit of encouragement and support. While Adelaide has a different sensibility than Melbourne, I have found this from my experience with Australians--perhaps you will find the same.

I am lucky that I met amazing people at my job. But this has been my outside work experience in a social setting (I dance salsa- I don't drink and I know that has an impact in social settings here). Initially there was some friendliness and humor that led me to believe I had been making some contacts--but then there was a period of reserved, semi coldness--I would go dancing and I'd feel very isolated and no one would really approach me and if I tried to be charming and start conversation it fell flat (I'm okay alone--but it was weird, people e generally respond well to me...but I was a bit pariah like. Then in about 6-7 mos. it was like suddenly I was 'in'. and there were people approaching me with warmth and real friendliness--even some disclosure--which does take some time. It was kind of on-off-on. I can't really explain it. But now a year later i'm a bit more established. 

I have some other real homesickness...but that's a different issue. I KNOW you have heard the following a million times--as have I, some times its a comfort, some times it's annoying, but it is true. This type of move takes time. And the American--they speak the same language, like many of the same things, look kind of like us...why is it so different thing? strangely doesn't help in the way we think (or unconsciously feel) it should.

BEST BEST wishes from a fellow traveler--who cannot believe I'm in Australia.

Tiffany


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## LegalOz (May 19, 2009)

Hi expats and BT
I am originally from Canada but moved for what I anticipated was a temp move and have been in Sydney for 15 years now. I never anticipated staying so long. I initially found great difficulty 'breaking in' as I thought although the Aussies were very friendly, they never invited you to dinner to their home, never made a 'personal' move. And then, bang, it all changed. You never know what, why or when. It just happens. It is not like other places I have lived. So really, bear with it, it is about time, nothing to do with you or them. 

Am now in France for a while but returning to Australia mid next year. It is hard and lonely initially and you are very far from everywhere and everyone but once you find your space and fit in, you will not want to leave!

Good luck to you-some great wineries around Adelaide, some great markets and lovely drives through the hills to the ocean-enjoy and don't worry so much about finding friends-they will come!

Hope by the time you read this, it may have already happened!


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## weelee (Sep 15, 2008)

anj1976 said:


> hahaha yeah mat, i know how different things are here and there. trust me, i hv never done that.. my dad loves cooking and feeding people, i think cos when ppl eat what he makes, they are all praises


Hi anj,

not topic related just wanted to know if its an indian tradition to feed people who they are friends with. We sold our house to a wonderful couple who are from india and everytime we had to go back to the house they insisted on filling us up with food. Unfortunetley I had always just eaten before I arrived to collect the last of the mail from them or I could have sat all night eating the food that the lady made. 

your dad can visit me anytime

weelee


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

hahahaha

yes it is a tradition, not a tradition but Indians love feeding people.. next time go empty stomach and make sure you eat more thn u do regularly, they wont mind 

so arrange a visa for me instead f my dad, i wud be happy to come stay with provided u tk care of teh visa.. haha

oh and i was out for a vacation, to goa, so excuse the late reply

cheers


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## Donna- (May 5, 2011)

In the Cost of Living thread, someone mentioned that having some favorite foods or items from "home" can help dealing with homesickness. What old favorite food, drink, or other item do you miss or crave for and wish somebody would mail you some? How much do you think it might help with feeling a little less homesick?


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## Donna- (May 5, 2011)

I forgot to add, that having the back and forth with people from "back home" can also make you feel less far away. Skype and facebook and email has made the world much smaller!


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