# dilemma



## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

we live in a small 'residencial'

our landlord's parents own the apartment above us & our landlord is here for the summer - none of them are here all year round

we have been invited by the other owners (Spanish) to the summer BBQ - but the landlord & family haven't - it's an unofficial thing but does happen to take place after the owner's AGM

we don't really get on with the owner - a certain 'distance' is best usually anyway, but promises were made to us which haven't been kept - nuff said


do we go?

we are the only Brits invited - we have been totally accepted as part of the 'residencial', I'm sure because we speak Spanish

the same happened a few years ago where we used to live - it caused bad feeling between us & the other Brits living there 


what to do, what to do?


----------



## Seb* (Mar 22, 2009)

xabiachica said:


> what to do, what to do?


Simples!

Have a nice BBQ


----------



## nigele2 (Dec 25, 2009)

Seb* said:


> Simples!
> 
> Have a nice BBQ


Second that. You can spend too long compromising. Whatever you do could be interpreted by someone as not the right thing but that is for them. If other brits get offended then one might question their value as friends anyway 

And if you don't go what will your spanish friends think?

Enjoy


----------



## dunmovin (Dec 19, 2008)

nigele2 said:


> Second that. You can spend too long compromising. Whatever you do could be interpreted by someone as not the right thing but that is for them. If other brits get offended then one might question their value as friends anyway
> 
> And if you don't go what will your spanish friends think?
> 
> Enjoy


you took the words right out of me....and if the other brits taake offence they must be pretty shallow people and not worth bothering about


----------



## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

dunmovin said:


> you took the words right out of me....and if the other brits taake offence they must be pretty shallow people and not worth bothering about


they're not friends - they're just the ones who we pay rent to or have to live with all year round!!

the Spanish owners here use their places for holiday homes

we'll go - & enjoy ourselves - but last time we were in this situation we were blanked forevermore by the Brits who lived there - no skin off our noses - but uncomfortable nevertheless


----------



## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Do you know the owners well enough to suggest that they invite the other Brits along saying that they'll bring some typically British food stuff along maybe??? Failing that, maybe pass the word around the other Brits with a weary tone, that you've been invited to "the" BBQ cos you've done some translation work for them and they felt obliged to invite you and its not favouritism???? Summat like that??? - tho why it should bother them beats me!!?????

Jo xxx


----------



## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

jojo said:


> Do you know the owners well enough to suggest that they invite the other Brits along saying that they'll bring some typically British food stuff along maybe??? Failing that, maybe pass the word around the other Brits with a weary tone, that you've been invited to "the" BBQ cos you've done some translation work for them and they felt obliged to invite you and its not favouritism???? Summat like that??? - tho why it should bother them beats me!!?????
> 
> Jo xxx


they would have known the Brit owners a lot longer than they have known us - at least they would have if they could actually talk to each other!!


they just don't mix - odd I know - but that's it - I have heard the Spanish try to make a bit of an effort - but I suppose when all you get is a nod after 5 years you must give up!

it's not a 'BBQ for all the owners' as such - more just all the Spanish getting together for a bit of a party

it's not favouritism - I think it's just that we mix with them

when this happened where we used to live it actually was an 'official' party for owners - which we were invited to even though they knew we rented

again no other Brits were invited - again I think just because they didn't mix or try to communicate

it really did make things very uncomfortable that time

I hope it will be different this time


----------



## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Seems to me there are very good reasons why you've been invited and they haven't.
You don't have a problem - the other Brits do.
Anyone who has lived in Spain for any length of time and either cannot be bothered or is too thick to learn basic Spanish at least so that some social interaction can take place isn't worth bothering about.
And I seem to remember that you said in another post that they have a couple of anti-social habits...
I wouldn't worry about getting to know these people when you have pleasant Spanish people to socialise with.


----------



## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

mrypg9 said:


> Seems to me there are very good reasons why you've been invited and they haven't.
> You don't have a problem - the other Brits do.
> Anyone who has lived in Spain for any length of time and either cannot be bothered or is too thick to learn basic Spanish at least so that some social interaction can take place isn't worth bothering about.
> And I seem to remember that you said in another post that they have a couple of anti-social habits...
> I wouldn't worry about getting to know these people when you have pleasant Spanish people to socialise with.


yes, some of them do have somewhat anti-social habits - thankfully they don't live here

I'm sure I'm worrying about nothing - it just all turned so nasty where we used to live


----------



## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

xabiachica said:


> yes, some of them do have somewhat anti-social habits - thankfully they don't live here
> 
> I'm sure I'm worrying about nothing - it just all turned so nasty where we used to live



Well, I only know you from your posts but I bet you didn't start any 'nastiness'.
Ignore them. You probably wouldn't cross the street to talk to them if you were back in the UK so why bother in Spain?
I've not been here two years yet but I've come across the kind of Brits I left the UK to avoid. So I avoid them here.
There are lovely people here of all nationalities worth being friendly with and I'm sure you know lots like that with so stop worrying. 
Have a nice cool G&T and think about something pleasant.


----------



## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

mrypg9 said:


> Well, I only know you from your posts but I bet you didn't start any 'nastiness'.
> Ignore them. You probably wouldn't cross the street to talk to them if you were back in the UK so why bother in Spain?
> I've not been here two years yet but I've come across the kind of Brits I left the UK to avoid. So I avoid them here.
> There are lovely people here of all nationalities worth being friendly with and I'm sure you know lots like that with so stop worrying.
> Have a nice cool G&T and think about something pleasant.


thanks

You're right about people you wouldn't have anything to do with in the UK - we met some when we first arrived - you know - when you just want to know _someone_, so _anyone_ will do?! Those 'friendships' didn't last long

I've just broken out the tinto de verano

Gin always makes me cry


----------



## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

xabiachica said:


> thanks
> 
> You're right about people you wouldn't have anything to do with in the UK - we met some when we first arrived - you know - when you just want to know _someone_, so _anyone_ will do?! Those 'friendships' didn't last long
> 
> ...


Me too....when I find the bottle empty


----------



## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

mrypg9 said:


> Me too....when I find the bottle empty




the gin bottle is the only one in our house that is never emptied!


----------

