# Bereavement support



## micass (Aug 30, 2017)

Today Riza came to me in tears and soon had me in tears also. A very poor family who recently lost a child is frantic because they could not afford to bury their 6 month old child. The fee is 6,000 pesos and way beyond what the parents could afford. I told Riza to go draw the money from the bank and pay it so the child can be put to rest. We are not flush with money but we could not sit by and see this family suffer more. This is not a post to claim glory, it is to raise awareness that even in such sad circumstances a family should not have the grief of being unable to bury their child added to their loss. Does anyone know of an organization or group here in the Philippines to assist these people? Is there more we can do as a community to help these people who are trapped by their circumstances? Any suggestions would be more than welcome.


----------



## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

micass said:


> Today Riza came to me in tears and soon had me in tears also. A very poor family who recently lost a child is frantic because they could not afford to bury their 6 month old child. The fee is 6,000 pesos and way beyond what the parents could afford. I told Riza to go draw the money from the bank and pay it so the child can be put to rest. We are not flush with money but we could not sit by and see this family suffer more. This is not a post to claim glory, it is to raise awareness that even in such sad circumstances a family should not have the grief of being unable to bury their child added to their loss. Does anyone know of an organization or group here in the Philippines to assist these people? Is there more we can do as a community to help these people who are trapped by their circumstances? Any suggestions would be more than welcome.


Living here is a dog eat dog world. As you stated, most are very poor and unable to do much. At the wake (in the home or funeral parlor) most people accept donations to cover the costs. They usually come pretty close to the needed amount. I can not imagine any burial costing only P6,000. That does not even cover the casket really. But be that as it may. P30,000 to P60,000 is more like it.
So far as I know from my many years living here, there is no service to help of any kind unless it would be the family or church? There are insurance companies to cover final expenses but even the lowest monthly premiums many can not afford.


----------



## micass (Aug 30, 2017)

The cost is a 'special' reduced price plus there are organisations helping to reduce the cost but a certain amount still falls back on the family. It is this 'residual' expense the family could not afford and the child could not be buried until it was paid. We could not stand around and watch them suffer trying to find this money. The child had been dead a week and still no way forward for them. We could not stand and do nothing, the family were frantic.......


----------



## Tukaram (Dec 18, 2014)

I know there are some cheap burials. Most public cemeteries have spaces you can use for up to 5 years. If you do move the body after 5 years - they put another one in there with you and change the name on the cover. We have family that was put in those, and never moved. 

But even with , the burial is not free. p6.000 is pretty cheap but still more than a lot of people can afford. Not sure what they have for a pauper burial...


----------



## micass (Aug 30, 2017)

Tukaram;.........
But even with said:


> Sorry if it came across wrong .... the P6,000 shortage was residual costs after assistance, donations etc still to be paid before they will bury the child.......... funeral tomorrow now!!


----------



## Hey_Joe (Sep 13, 2016)

Interesting Funeral Rituals

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funeral_practices_and_burial_customs_in_the_Philippines


----------



## micass (Aug 30, 2017)

Hey_Joe said:


> Interesting Funeral Rituals
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funeral_practices_and_burial_customs_in_the_Philippines


Interesting .........


----------



## greenstreak1946 (May 28, 2017)

I am not a fan of burials. I believe in cremating someone. First it is the cheapest way to go and doesn't have to use up expensive land. Secondly, don't have to buy a casket. This would be the best way for a country where people have no money.

just my thoughts

art


----------



## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

greenstreak1946 said:


> I am not a fan of burials. I believe in cremating someone. First it is the cheapest way to go and doesn't have to use up expensive land. Secondly, don't have to buy a casket. This would be the best way for a country where people have no money.
> 
> just my thoughts
> 
> art


Art, 
Agree with you on that. If I die in the states the cremation and burial at sea is already paid for, If I die here I will be buried as she already owned a burial plot when we married and we can both use it. I did purchase a package which will pay any & all incidental costs to see me and her in the ground. Even the cost of that was P94,000 for each. Since moving here we have attended several wakes & funerals of relatives & friends of hers and usually always gift in the area of P500/1,000 towards the cost. Kind of took me by surprise the first one and then she explained that that is really how it is done here in order to cover the cost. No one here seems to look ahead at the eventuality of each & everyone dying so there is no forethought or preparation for it.

As far as cremation being some of the answer for this country - I don't think that would go over very well. When I had told her I had already paid to be cremated, she had a terrible grimace on her face. They go to extremes (in my opinion) to care for their dead relatives as they have a completely different take on it than we do. Personally, I could care less what happens when I am done with this body I am wearing.

Fred


----------



## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

fmartin_gila said:


> As far as cremation being some of the answer for this country - I don't think that would go over very well. When I had told her I had already paid to be cremated, she had a terrible grimace on her face. They go to extremes (in my opinion) to care for their dead relatives as they have a completely different take on it than we do. Personally, I could care less what happens when I am done with this body I am wearing.
> Fred


Fred,

Maybe the cremation thing is just not used much in some areas of the country. Local customs perhaps. Here in Central Luzon there are several crematories and is quite popular.

Because of age I'll most likely go first and will be cremated somewhere close by. Same with my wife when it is her turn someday.
We bought funeral plans already with a nationwide company that is reputable. A number of families we know have used them and the service is good and exactly what they paid for. Just makes sense to prearrange so that loved ones are not burdened with decisions and expenses at the worst possible time.


----------



## greenstreak1946 (May 28, 2017)

hey fred

I am with you on my body after death. I can care less what is don't with it. I do not believe in funerals. I think a funeral brings out all the hypocrites involved. Most haven't spoken to the dead person in years but show up and put on a big show of tears. A lot show up because they are hoping something was left for them. I know a lot of people will disagree with me, but that is how i feel about funerals.

art


----------



## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

Asian Spirit said:


> We bought funeral plans already with a nationwide company that is reputable. A number of families we know have used them and the service is good and exactly what they paid for. Just makes sense to prearrange so that loved ones are not burdened with decisions and expenses at the worst possible time.


Probably the same Company we bought our policy's from, they are a pretty big outfit. The prearrangement takes a lot of stress out of a very stressful time in ones life. My 2nd Wife died in a vehicle accident and that turned into chaos in a hurry. I had to have her cremated because of all the damage, and that was when I became aware of the cost difference. When my 3rd died after a log illness, we had already purchased the cremation package. Even though it was expected to happen, it is still a traumatic experience, but already having the arrangements made sure lessened the stress level.

Fred


----------



## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

fmartin_gila said:


> Probably the same Company we bought our policy's from, they are a pretty big outfit. The prearrangement takes a lot of stress out of a very stressful time in ones life. My 2nd Wife died in a vehicle accident and that turned into chaos in a hurry. I had to have her cremated because of all the damage, and that was when I became aware of the cost difference. When my 3rd died after a log illness, we had already purchased the cremation package. Even though it was expected to happen, it is still a traumatic experience, but already having the arrangements made sure lessened the stress level.
> 
> Fred


Could be the same company I suppose. I would assume there are a few of them around. I've not had to deal with the death of a spouse but did so for both of my parents and that was not fun. Makes us realize that time keeps marching on and we are not here forever. 
Made me smile though as I add to the thread an old poem I read as a preteen as a school book report.. Done
by Johnny Cash,


----------



## mogo51 (Jun 11, 2011)

Yes but you have to deal with the catholic thing regarding cremation. Don't get me going with that.


----------



## bigpearl (Jan 24, 2016)

Hey_Joe said:


> Interesting Funeral Rituals
> 
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Funeral_practices_and_burial_customs_in_the_Philippines


Thanks for the link Joe.

Cheers, Steve.


----------



## bigpearl (Jan 24, 2016)

mogo51 said:


> Yes but you have to deal with the catholic thing regarding cremation. Don't get me going with that.


Each to their own no matter country or culture. These days as a non practicing religious type person (40+ years) you can "Wrap me up in my stock whip and blanket and bury me deep down below" or "You can throw away my ashes to the deep blue sea".
Bengie as a practicing Filipino catholic wants cremation (His choice) and his ashes shared amongst his family and yes me, to be worn in a glass pendant next to my heart. I will honour his wishes if he predates me.
As said each to their own beliefs and wishes, I am certain if I pass before Bengie he will accept and abide by my wishes also and given the current climate within most churches perfectly acceptable, others may disagree OMO.

Cheers, Steve.


----------



## bigpearl (Jan 24, 2016)

Asian Spirit said:


> Could be the same company I suppose. I would assume there are a few of them around. I've not had to deal with the death of a spouse but did so for both of my parents and that was not fun. Makes us realize that time keeps marching on and we are not here forever.
> Made me smile though as I add to the thread an old poem I read as a preteen as a school book report.. Done
> by Johnny Cash,
> 
> ...


----------



## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

bigpearl said:


> Asian Spirit said:
> 
> 
> > Thanks for sharing mate. The poem was a good reference from a great man with so many of his own troubles and continued to give and share, a reminder. Losing a loved one is never ever easy especially Mum or Dad, I/we share our loses together as is rightly so. Never an easy path to navigate, then overcome.
> ...


----------

