# Help with UK citizen marrying long-distance U.S. girlfriend please?



## 00M4A (Apr 25, 2011)

Hello. I'm 18 years old, male, and was born and raised in Britain. In 2009, I randomly came across a girl named Sarah (who's currently 17 and lives in Northern California) on Skype (Skype is an international voice chat computer program). We talked for a while then exchanged Facebook addresses. To cut a long story short, we started talking a lot in June 2010, fell in love with each other, then after gathering up enough money, I went to see her in February using ESTA (the Visa Waiver Program). It was.. incredible, absolutely incredible. I had never been happier in my life, and she felt the same way, so I'm coming to visit her again next month and she's coming to the UK to see me in a few months. But, we just.. desperately want to be with each other permanently. We video-chat on Skype pretty much everyday, but we just.. can't stand waiting months to save up money and visit each other. We are so very deeply in love, and are both willing to do pretty much anything to be with each other permanently. We understand that it could take a while for our dream to become reality, but we're both determined to see it through and will be patient, even though it is and will continue to be extremely difficult.

Our families like each other a lot, and both care very much about our relationship. Sarah's family really likes me a lot, as I've been told by Sarah and her family. Her mother fully supports and backs Sarah and I, and has even offered to let me live at their home providing I get a job.

I quit college a few months ago, acquired a job, and started earning as much money as I could so I could visit Sarah more often and also to save up for our future, as we both knew it would be costly. She also acquired a job to save up for those same reasons. I have around 7 GCSEs, one including an A* for Biology, plus work experience at Echo News for two weeks, a kitchen assistant at a pub/restaurant and I'm currently working at a Lloyds TSB bank. 

We've been researching a lot about how we can be together permanently and the marriage option has come up often, but we don't know how or what to do.
The only thing we want in life is to just be together wherever, and marriage seems like the best option to us.

If anyone could help us with this we would be extremely appreciative; more than you realize.
If you're just going to criticize, disrespect and/or judge our relationship, stop, because I'll just ignore your post.

*Again, we'd extremely appreciate any help.. so much. We're.. just so desperate. Please help us.*

Thank you.


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## sam_ana (Apr 22, 2011)

if you want to get your green card fast you should get married in USA .
I know people got married overseas and they still waiting for 2 years .
good luck


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## 00M4A (Apr 25, 2011)

sam_ana said:


> if you want to get your green card fast you should get married in USA .
> I know people got married overseas and they still waiting for 2 years .
> good luck


Hi, thanks for your answer, do you think you could elaborate on that please? I'd appreciate it


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

sam_ana said:


> if you want to get your green card fast you should get married in USA .
> I know people got married overseas and they still waiting for 2 years .
> good luck


Non sequitur.


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## 00M4A (Apr 25, 2011)

Fatbrit said:


> Non sequitur.


English please?


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

00M4A said:


> English please?


"It does not follow" = the statement is fallacious.


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

00M4A said:


> Hello. I'm 18 years old, male, and was born and raised in Britain. In 2009, I randomly came across a girl named Sarah (who's currently 17 and lives in Northern California)


She cannot sponsor to live in the US until she turns 18, and you cannot sponsor her to live in the UK until she turns 21.



00M4A said:


> I quit college a few months ago, acquired a job, and started earning as much money as I could so I could visit Sarah more often and also to save up for our future, as we both knew it would be costly. She also acquired a job to save up for those same reasons. I have around 7 GCSEs, one including an A* for Biology, plus work experience at Echo News for two weeks, a kitchen assistant at a pub/restaurant and I'm currently working at a Lloyds TSB bank.


Your US employment prospects without academic qualifications and experience are not good. You need to continue your education.



00M4A said:


> IWe've been researching a lot about how we can be together permanently and the marriage option has come up often, but we don't know how or what to do.
> The only thing we want in life is to just be together wherever, and marriage seems like the best option to us.


It's most likely your only option. If one of you has wealthy parents, however, you could study in the other country.


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## 00M4A (Apr 25, 2011)

Fatbrit said:


> "It does not follow" = the statement is fallacious.


Ah, thanks for informing me.



Fatbrit said:


> She cannot sponsor to live in the US until she turns 18, and you cannot sponsor her to live in the UK until she turns 21.
> 
> 
> Your US employment prospects without academic qualifications and experience are not good. You need to continue your education.
> ...


Thank you very much for your reply! I just live with my mom who isn't wealthy, so I guess the student visa idea is a no-go.
So there is no way for me to live with/near her before she's 18?
If no, and we both do wait till she's 18, and we have enough money to get married, how does sponsorship work, and what are the requirements? I've read that I could have a co-sponsor to help with the costs such as her mother, so how would that work too?

We'd extremely appreciate it if you could help us further, thank you.


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## Fatbrit (May 8, 2008)

00M4A said:


> If no, and we both do wait till she's 18, and we have enough money to get married, how does sponsorship work, and what are the requirements? I've read that I could have a co-sponsor to help with the costs such as her mother, so how would that work too?


Google Federal Poverty Guidelines, and find the figure for 2 people.

She requires an income of 125% of this figure, or capital of 3 times as much as the 125% figure. She can use a co-sponsor, but then the family size for the Federal Poverty Guidelines equals both your family (2) and the size of the co-sponsor's family.


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## Jen114 (Mar 5, 2011)

I can understand how you feel it must be terrible being apart. I was apart from my boyfriend at 19 for a year we are now married with two children 11 years later.

The situation though considering your circumstance you really need to go back to school and have an education . With out it now a days you can get no where!! Seriously especially in the states!! my husband is 36 and is only now getting a degree and seriously if he could have studied when he was younger he would have. This is your first priority is get your education !!

Regarding sponsorship with marriage if you are married less than 2 year it is very difficult especially at your age and in your case as what the government is looking for is marriage of convenience which this is exactly what it is. No matter how much you. Love Each other it is convenient to get married as other possibilities are not feasible and they will notice this.

I think it would make more sense for her to come over to the uk on a work visa ( they are much easier to get) see how it works out for a year or two while you finish your education and then go to the idea of moving to the states again.

Hope my advise helps


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## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

Without an education you will not be able to support yourself and a potential family in the US or anywhere. Saving money with a minimum wage job while living at home at 18 will not put bread on the table when you are 30. Short, cruel and true.

Love is great and first love is even greater. You do not realize that in CA sex with a minor under 18 is considered statutory rape and can get all three parties - you, her, her parents - in a nasty pickle. 

One option is going back to school in the UK where tuition is basically free, work on your grades and get a semester in the US. The same for her - with a bit of effort scholarships are to be had especially for in-state students. Visit a couple of times per year and take it one step at a time.


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## Jen114 (Mar 5, 2011)

Well said , twostep!!! I think everyone who is 30 something and more can say the way you love when 18 is so different. Education is so important


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## SamD234 (May 4, 2011)

I am brand new here and came across your post while studying the threads here (I'm researching before I dive in and post) however I just wanted to chuck in my two cents here.

I hate to sound all grown up but you are both *sooo *so young, I know its something you hate to hear but I look back at when I was 18 and oooh, some of the choices I made were quite ridiculous when at the time I thought I might burst with joy.

However it can happen, and I hope it really has for you but my advice would be 
- Study
- Wait
- Research
- Plan

I am qualified to chuck in my said two cents because 
- I met my US boyfriend online
- We chat on skype e-v-e-r-y single day
- We were both so cautious and cynical at our situation we waited ~cough~ FIVE years before meeting 
- I've now been over there a few times and I'm just now starting to plan having a life with him.
- I'm still cautious and cynical...!! 


It all sounds very romantic (and yes don't you just love that feeling) but reality has to be addressed before dreams in my opinion.

If you truly have that respect for each other it'll work out.

Good luck mate.

Sam


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## raceman (Apr 3, 2011)

Jen114 said:


> I can understand how you feel it must be terrible being apart. I was apart from my boyfriend at 19 for a year we are now married with two children 11 years later.
> 
> The situation though considering your circumstance you really need to go back to school and have an education . With out it now a days you can get no where!! Seriously especially in the states!! my husband is 36 and is only now getting a degree and seriously if he could have studied when he was younger he would have. This is your first priority is get your education !!
> 
> ...


Not sure i agree with you entirerly Jen. 

Surely a marraige of convenience is simply a marraige to gain a visa or citizenship, seems that these guys genuinely want to get married to be together......

As regards work permits, the UK is not as easy as it has been or as easy as people might think it is. They are really not easy any more. 

I would agree about finishing your education though Sam, as a rash move now could lead to many many many years of regret! 

You will need to wait till she is 18 no matter what you do, so do your research, and work hard at UNI in the mean time, and get a special deal on your mobile and a fast connection for your internet to make skype work well, and prepare well and prepare completely, remember what they say about good prep? 

Always better than going for it with a half arsed plan Sam, PLAN PLAN PLAN mate, you and you potential Mrs have MANY years ahead of you, remember that, and do this properly ;-)


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