# what are your views?



## kingrulzuk (Jan 19, 2010)

Hiya all
Hope everyone is having a good weekend

Just a question I want to ask

If one marries a Filipina does that mean he marries the full family? 
I just got told by someone that is very common that the girl’s family expect you to look after them. Is this right?

Maven


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## Gary D (Oct 28, 2013)

The simple answer is yes. Your would need your wife 100% on side to control this. It is often recommend that you live away from the family. Two islands away as as rule of thumb.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

kingrulzuk said:


> Hiya all
> Hope everyone is having a good weekend
> 
> Just a question I want to ask
> ...


many tamad(lazy) want that. Don't fall for it. Good hard working ppl with morals don't expect it. A good Filipino only wants it from the heart
If its coerced its not from the heart


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## galactic (Dec 2, 2014)

Short answer Yes (majority)

But there is the minority where relatives live their own lives and comes only when there is a celebration, death or when they are invited.

It will all depend on how the married couple approach handling relatives during the initial years.
Relatives tend to stick to established rules and norms.
It is very difficult to "wean" them on the perceived wealth once you start giving in to ridiculous requests.

Good luck.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

galactic said:


> Short answer Yes (majority)
> 
> But there is the minority where relatives live their own lives and comes only when there is a celebration, death or when they are invited.
> 
> ...


Yes...you'll need it.


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## kingrulzuk (Jan 19, 2010)

I spoke to my partner and she said yes that’s right. Bus she says I don’t have to worry about when it comes to her family. 

We are getting married in May in HK and will be going PI for 3 weeks and will be staying at her parents’ house for 2 weeks and few days in manila.

So I’m happy to help out for our stay. But I don’t know if it’s a culture or not about looking after the girl’s family?


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## kingrulzuk (Jan 19, 2010)

MEDALLOKUYA said:


> Pinoys as a people are very big on helping and supporting their family. Its pretty much expected that each kid helps support their parents and siblings. Obviously, I am talking about the general population, not the well off families.
> 
> This is something you MUST sit down and talk with your GF about BEFORE getting married. She and her family need to understand what your expectations are. Everyone needs to be on the same page.


I agree with you. That’s what I will do when I go to HK in 10 days’ time. 

Thank you


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Worry about it for sure*



kingrulzuk said:


> I spoke to my partner and she said yes that’s right. Bus she says I don’t have to worry about when it comes to her family.
> 
> We are getting married in May in HK and will be going PI for 3 weeks and will be staying at her parents’ house for 2 weeks and few days in manila.
> 
> So I’m happy to help out for our stay. But I don’t know if it’s a culture or not about looking after the girl’s family?


You'll get a good grasp on how things work or dont' work once your here but basically everyone will stop work and wait on you to buy the party favors, food and drinks...LOL, out to resaturant.

To make it a fun time, buy a whole pig and have it butchered at the house buy the beer or what ever it doesn't have to be fancy beer either, most can't afford the rot got beer, if they don't like beer buy Lambanog and get the family introduction over with, they'll expect some sort of coming home party, then after that if you want to explore, leave the in-laws at the house and explore, come up with an excuse such as a business function, if not it'll be a beer and food fest for the entire time your there, they won't leave and they won't leave your wallet alone.

When they call you "Daddy ........" take it with a grain of salt.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

mcalleyboy said:


> You'll get a good grasp on how things work or dont' work once your here but basically everyone will stop work and wait on you to buy the party favors, food and drinks...LOL, out to resaturant.
> 
> To make it a fun time, buy a whole pig and have it butchered at the house buy the beer or what ever it doesn't have to be fancy beer either, most can't afford the rot got beer, if they don't like beer buy Lambanog and get the family introduction over with, they'll expect some sort of coming home party, then after that if you want to explore, leave the in-laws at the house and explore, come up with an excuse such as a business function, if not it'll be a beer and food fest for the entire time your there, they won't leave and they won't leave your wallet alone.
> 
> When they call you "Daddy ........" take it with a grain of salt.


If u allow it to happen u set the stage. Say NO


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## kingrulzuk (Jan 19, 2010)

mcalleyboy said:


> You'll get a good grasp on how things work or dont' work once your here but basically everyone will stop work and wait on you to buy the party favors, food and drinks...LOL, out to resaturant.
> 
> To make it a fun time, buy a whole pig and have it butchered at the house buy the beer or what ever it doesn't have to be fancy beer either, most can't afford the rot got beer, if they don't like beer buy Lambanog and get the family introduction over with, they'll expect some sort of coming home party, then after that if you want to explore, leave the in-laws at the house and explore, come up with an excuse such as a business function, if not it'll be a beer and food fest for the entire time your there, they won't leave and they won't leave your wallet alone.
> 
> When they call you "Daddy ........" take it with a grain of salt.


O Dear thanks for the warning. its nice to learn about different cultures.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

kingrulzuk said:


> O Dear thanks for the warning. its nice to learn about different cultures.


This is a culture of its own


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## simonsays (Feb 11, 2009)

Gary D said:


> The simple answer is yes. Your would need your wife 100% on side to control this. It is often recommend that you live away from the family. Two islands away as as rule of thumb.


In the cases I know the answer is 'it depends' on what the in laws are doing...

A fair number I know married into professionals in the family and don't expect the new in-law to be the family ATM


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

So if that's a concern then that's the type of person one needs to look for.


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## Tukaram (Dec 18, 2014)

Short answer 'no'. That was my answer and I stood by it. I made d**n sure the answer was no while we were dating - or I would not have married her. They may try but you can say no. How did they make it before we got here? 

My girl and I discussed it seriously. I told her we are from different cultures. Some changes will have to be made by both of us. But supporting the family was non-negotiable. She said ok... and no problem.


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## kingrulzuk (Jan 19, 2010)

Tukaram said:


> Short answer 'no'. That was my answer and I stood by it. I made d**n sure the answer was no while we were dating - or I would not have married her. They may try but you can say no. How did they make it before we got here?
> 
> My girl and I discussed it seriously. I told her we are from different cultures. Some changes will have to be made by both of us. But supporting the family was non-negotiable. She said ok... and no problem.


Welldone you are not under de saya


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

In 30+ years I never heard of that term. Asked my wife if I was under de saya and she was insulted that I asked. So I guess I'm not! Or I'm now on to her game after all these years lol


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

cvgtpc1 said:


> In 30+ years I never heard of that term. Asked my wife if I was under de saya and she was insulted that I asked. So I guess I'm not! Or I'm now on to her game after all these years lol


Lol....busted


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Under de saya*



cvgtpc1 said:


> In 30+ years I never heard of that term. Asked my wife if I was under de saya and she was insulted that I asked. So I guess I'm not! Or I'm now on to her game after all these years lol


I've never heard that one either but the translations says "Under the skirt" good one.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

mcalleyboy said:


> I've never heard that one either but the translations says "Under the skirt" good one.


Wife says under the skirt wife is boss all the same. But technically or right


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