# Recommendations - moving to Spain late summer 2021, gay single in my 40s



## DavidUK2021 (Apr 4, 2021)

Hello,
I have visited Spain several times and I know it pretty well from a tourist point of view but I'd like to hear the point of view of expats who live or have lived there.
I am a single gay man, in my 40s, currently living in London (for the past 18 years). My company will allow me to work remotely from Spain, from any place, which I am looking forward to to begin a new chapter in my life after my very long relationship ended last year.
I would like to be on the coast and I am currently looking at Barcelona, Valencia and Malaga, all of which I love and I believe I can afford living in quite comfortably. I would love to have easy access to the beach walking/cycling preferably, or by public transport. I also love outdoor sports and nearby mountains would be a plus but of course not necessary. I like warm weather but if it rains every now and then it does not bother me too much. I speak intermediate Spanish (castellano) although I should brush it up soon...
I am no longer into partying but not knowing anyone there I believe that a big/biggish city would be best to start with, to meet new people (not necessarily just gay people) and then just seeing how things progress.
I'd be grateful for any recommendations on which city you think would be best, or any place other than the three I mentioned.
Thank you very much,
David


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## Chopera (Apr 22, 2013)

Do you have an EU passport? If not then that might influence your decision more than anything else.


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## DavidUK2021 (Apr 4, 2021)

Hi Chopera, yes I do. I did not mention and that's indeed very important. Thank you.


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## Thomas3857 (Dec 24, 2020)

Hi David - Perhaps consider Sitges. We went a few years ago and it's a beautiful city located within 30 minutes or so by train from Barcelona right on the coast and I believe has a very active gay population. Good luck.


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## DavidUK2021 (Apr 4, 2021)

Hi Thomas,
Thank you, I went to Sitges many years ago and I completely forgot about it now. It could be an option and it is also quite close to Barcelona as you say... I will do some research.
Thanks!
David


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## xicoalc (Apr 20, 2010)

Hi

As Thomas said, Sitges is a lovely place with a thriving gay community. It´s a wonderful seaside town and of course close to Barcelona. Sitges really is the gay capital of Spain in many ways outside of the likes of the centre of Madrid or Barcelona.

Prices of housing and living in general are however higher than the national average with a small flat likely to cost you the same in rent/purchase than maybe a nice house with garden in other areas.

Being gay won´t cause you issues in any of the places you have mentioned. The question is how much of a gay "scene" do you want. You say you don´t look for partying so may prefer a quieter location. If you go to places like Sitges, Bcn, Madrid and most large cities you will find thriving gay scenes comparable with London or any other major european major capital. 

My best advice is always to get to know where you feel at home and love. Visit if you can, as much as you can and stay in various areas so that you know what is right for you. So many places offer all of the things that you have said you want in terms of climate, nature and so on.


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## DavidUK2021 (Apr 4, 2021)

Hi xicoalc, 

Very good to know about price of housing and living in Sitges. Thanks.
Yes I am not really interested in partying. I think I'm mainly looking into moving to a relatively large city to start with as it may be easier to meet new people there and then once settled and having a group of friends I could move further out.
I've visited all three cities I listed and liked them all, as a tourist. I know that living in a place can be so different from just experiencing it on holiday, however. 
I should probably spend some time in a couple of places before deciding, your recommendation is spot on and something I can do as I don't need to be based in/close to an office.
Thank you
David


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## xicoalc (Apr 20, 2010)

DavidUK2021 said:


> Hi xicoalc,
> 
> Very good to know about price of housing and living in Sitges. Thanks.
> Yes I am not really interested in partying. I think I'm mainly looking into moving to a relatively large city to start with as it may be easier to meet new people there and then once settled and having a group of friends I could move further out.
> ...


Exactly, do some trips, get a feel for things, so to speak, and then rent a place for a year giving you a long period to adjust, explore and move once you are settled.

If you are moving on your own and working from home then obviously keep in mind that you won´t be immediately immersed into new friendships by some of the more traditional means (going out after work with colleagues for example). In my experience, the bigger cities tend to be a little less intimate (well, of course, there can be a lot if intimacy!!), but I refer to meeting people and building friendships. It goes without saying that if you turn up as the foreigner in a small town or village, after visiting the same bar/cafe/gay club several times, the staff and regulars will soon get chatting and get to know you. I have made many friends just from becoming a regular in some old haunt!. In big cities, just like in the UK, it´s more hussle and bussle and a little less "interactive" if you stick to the busy places - so look for smaller more intimate bars and places to visit in the area you stay in and try to get to know the locals!

I would look for things to do to get out there meeting people. You will always find language exchange groups who meet regularly and these are a great way to not only get to know people but to improve your Spanish. If you like sports then look for a cycling club or tennis or scuba(or anything) and start to go regularly and get to know people. And I would always say to not fall into the trap of only going in touristy places or english speaking bars etc. Mix with the locals and you will son be welcomed in to their circles of friends!


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## Overandout (Nov 10, 2012)

Be aware that you will be tax resident in Spain even if you are under a PAYE tax scheme with your UK employer. You will also not be paying and Spanish Social Security.


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## DavidUK2021 (Apr 4, 2021)

xicoalc said:


> Exactly, do some trips, get a feel for things, so to speak, and then rent a place for a year giving you a long period to adjust, explore and move once you are settled.
> 
> If you are moving on your own and working from home then obviously keep in mind that you won´t be immediately immersed into new friendships by some of the more traditional means (going out after work with colleagues for example). In my experience, the bigger cities tend to be a little less intimate (well, of course, there can be a lot if intimacy!!), but I refer to meeting people and building friendships. It goes without saying that if you turn up as the foreigner in a small town or village, after visiting the same bar/cafe/gay club several times, the staff and regulars will soon get chatting and get to know you. I have made many friends just from becoming a regular in some old haunt!. In big cities, just like in the UK, it´s more hussle and bussle and a little less "interactive" if you stick to the busy places - so look for smaller more intimate bars and places to visit in the area you stay in and try to get to know the locals!
> 
> I would look for things to do to get out there meeting people. You will always find language exchange groups who meet regularly and these are a great way to not only get to know people but to improve your Spanish. If you like sports then look for a cycling club or tennis or scuba(or anything) and start to go regularly and get to know people. And I would always say to not fall into the trap of only going in touristy places or english speaking bars etc. Mix with the locals and you will son be welcomed in to their circles of friends!


 It is a very valid point about working from home, which is what I will do. 
Yours are all really good recommendations! Particularly about becoming a regular in smaller / the same venues.
And yes about joining a group with people with similar interests (local in which case I do need to practice Spanish and fast  or expats). 
I'm now thinking about basing myself in one of those cities for 3-4 months to start with, airbnb perhaps, but also to do a couple of weekends somewhere else. 
Thank you for taking the time to write this!


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## DavidUK2021 (Apr 4, 2021)

Overandout said:


> Be aware that you will be tax resident in Spain even if you are under a PAYE tax scheme with your UK employer. You will also not be paying and Spanish Social Security.


Yes indeed. Fortunately my company are going to take care of the tax implications. Thanks for the heads-up.


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