# How long did it take you to settle down in Spain?



## Sirtravelot (Jul 20, 2011)

I'm not just talking about getting a house and saying "There we go!".

I mean really feel like they were satisfied and part of the country and culture.

Also, did this come with time or did you feel that things only got good once you spoke the language well?

Cheers.


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Sirtravelot said:


> I'm not just talking about getting a house and saying "There we go!".
> 
> I mean really feel like they were satisfied and part of the country and culture.
> 
> ...


Within a few months we felt that we had chosen the correct location for us because somehow it felt like we belonged. The people in our town have accepted us, welcomed us and generally included us in everything. Language is still problematic but they know that we try hard and that we are here to stay so I think that this has also helped us to feel at home. Owned the house for 7 1/2 years and lived here permanently for 5 years, cannot imagine living anywhere else.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Sirtravelot said:


> I'm not just talking about getting a house and saying "There we go!".
> 
> I mean really feel like they were satisfied and part of the country and culture.
> 
> ...


Good question.
Which I will probably answer tomorrow as it's very late now.


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## Sirtravelot (Jul 20, 2011)

Sirtravelot said:


> I'm not just talking about getting a house and saying "There we go!".
> 
> I mean really feel like they were satisfied and part of the country and culture.
> 
> ...


On top of that: if it took you longer to overcome a particular difficult challenge about Spain, what was it?


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2011)

I cheated. I got a Spanish boyfriend (very soon to be husband) and that was my easy way in. Although I will say I started to feel settled once I became a regular at a bar, news stand, butchers, and bakery and the shopkeepers really began to talk with me. That just took a couple of months. My Spanish wasn't all that great my first year here, but people seemed to appreciate the effort. 

I still have, and think I will always have, problems with the "showier" aspects of Spanish culture and the idea of "_compromisos_." I'm from the woods of New Hampshire and am pretty ******* so the whole dressing well and doing the hair dresser thing escape me. I'm more comfortable in jeans and a tee-shirt.

Regarding "_compromisos_," I find it really uncomfortable the amount of money people feel obligated to give for wedding presents. In fact, I told the neighbor I wanted a coffee for a wedding present. My sister in law got married a few years back and my fiancé's best friend came but didn't give her a present. The family *still* jokes about it, something I find to be beyond ridiculous.


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## jimenato (Nov 21, 2009)

I've lived and worked in Spain for 12 years and now have a bar in a very Spanish pueblo albeit with a sizeable foreign population. I speak Spanish reasonably but should be better after 12 years. I don't feel 'settled and part of the culture'. I feel foreign and am treated as being foreign. This suits me. I like the foreign-ness. The day I feel part of the "country and culture" is the day I will think about moving on.


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## thrax (Nov 13, 2008)

Having become so fed up, worn out and tired of Britain (sad but true) it didn't take too long to feel that this part of Spain was home. We still struggle with the language but know enough to get us through most situations, including having to explain that the two new front break pipes were the wrong ones and I needed to exchange them for a slightly different set. But for certain the guy in the shop was at least a bit impressed at my faultering attempts. I now have two new break pipes on my car, though I haven't been out in it yet. If you never hear from me again on this forum, you'll know why...
Yesterday reached 40C and will be the same again today. The boy struggled throughout the night but we got through without aircon which we are trying to avoid. Weve made new friends here (English) and some Spanish who we feel acquainted to but nothing more than that yet. We know where to buy everything we need to have the life style we want here. This forum was, of course, incredibly helpful and made everything that bit easier to understand and accomplish.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Sirtravelot said:


> I'm not just talking about getting a house and saying "There we go!".
> 
> I mean really feel like they were satisfied and part of the country and culture.
> 
> ...


In general I feel settled and that's because I know how things function (no fish on Mondays 'cos the fleet doesn't go out on Sunday, the funcionario isn't rude - she's just going on her stipulated coffee break, you need a Padron to sign your daughter up for basketball etc) and understand what's happening around me. I wouldn't feel like that if I didn't speak Spanish, but that's me. How long did it take? 5 - 10 years (??) And I could speak some Spanish when I came here...

As you can imagine, this has been discussed many a time on the forum. Here is one of the more recent threads that led to an interesting discussion
http://www.expatforum.com/expats/la-tasca/78521-plastic-spanish.html
Usually people start talking about *integration * rather than feeling settled- What does that mean to each individual? How, if ever, is that achieved? Is _*intergration *_actually desirable?
As usual, the answer depends, more than anything on your individual perception, but also on the people that are around you.
After 25 years of living in Spain (this year is my silver anniversary!!), 20 years of marriage to a Spaniard and speaking fluent Spanish I am to many, no doubt about it, the English woman. To others I am Jane, I am a friend or a work colleague or a neighbour and the nationality doesn't come in to it.


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## Trubrit (Nov 24, 2010)

I have only lived in Spain since February but have felt at home since...........February! My neighbours are wonderful, the local kids I teach are somewhat challenging , but both myself and my 29 year old daughter feel safe and very much at home here in wonderful San Martin De Valdeiglesias. We live out in the sticks so services are non existant but so is the community charge. The bin men take everything I leave out (try that in the UK), the postman calls in for coffee and so does the DHL parcel delivery man. Although, at the moment my Spanish is restricted to "Una cana" or "Una harra" I feel that this is my home until the big man calls me.


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## Seb* (Mar 22, 2009)

Settled I would say after 1-1.5 years. Integrated in culture and language? No - and I don't expect to be either - that's the way it is. I'd say only very few foreigners will ever be fully integrated and those mainly due to family ties. And IMHO there is no need to - as long as you are respectful towards culture and people you will be accepted, which is as far as it goes. In most cases you will always be a foreigner, but that's not a bad thing!

It takes quite some time to understand how Spain works and I found it very difficult the first year, especially with zero language. You feel totally helpless. After a while you start to understand and accept how the country works. As soon as the language skill improves it gets easier. And I'm not talking about fluency. My spanish is very basic, but it gets better by the week (without sitting down and investing lots of time learning it). As soon as you are able to understand a good chunk of what people say and are able to make yourself understood everything becomes easier.

So to make it short: if you want to settle quickly and as painless as possible, try to get the language to a level where you can go shopping, to the vet and be able to let people know when your car breaks down, this doesnt take long and will give you a boost of confidence. Second best thing:* don't panic*! The Spanish are very relaxed and understanding, everything goes its own pace and is handled in its own sometimes curious ways. It takes time to learn how things are handled - just accept it and go with the flow. And last but not least, forget how things are handled in your home country - this is Spain, no point comparing.

If I would have known what I know now, I would have saved myself a lot of stress and money


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Seb* said:


> Settled I would say after 1-1.5 years. Integrated in culture and language? No - and I don't expect to be either - that's the way it is. I'd say only very few foreigners will ever be fully integrated and those mainly due to family ties. And IMHO there is no need to - as long as you are respectful towards culture and people you will be accepted, which is as far as it goes. In most cases you will always be a foreigner, but that's not a bad thing!


I agree that being identified as the foreigner is not always a bad thing. What I object to is when this is used as the only sign of identification sign and judgment is made soley on that.


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Nearly two years ago my OH was told that he had to have an operation that he probably would not survive. He told our next door neighbours that he was concerned about me and he was assured by them that we are part of their family so I would be looked after. The whole community was so supportive, always asking how things were going etc, always concerned with each new hiccup, always cheering him on when he was out of hospital and disappointed for him when he had to go back in. Today our most elderly neighbour stood in her doorway calling "valiante" to him when he was walking down the street, it is so touching when a community takes you to their hearts.

Integrated is a word that I do not like at all so prefer the reference of being settled. We will always be the foreigners, the outsiders but we are also part of the community in a community that really does care about each other. It is definitely the friendliness of the people in our town that have helped to make us feel settled.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Maimee said:


> Nearly two years ago my OH was told that he had to have an operation that he probably would not survive. He told our next door neighbours that he was concerned about me and he was assured by them that we are part of their family so I would be looked after. The whole community was so supportive, always asking how things were going etc, always concerned with each new hiccup, always cheering him on when he was out of hospital and disappointed for him when he had to go back in. Today our most elderly neighbour stood in her doorway calling "valiante" to him when he was walking down the street, it is so touching when a community takes you to their hearts.
> 
> Integrated is a word that I do not like at all so prefer the reference of being settled. We will always be the foreigners, the outsiders but we are also part of the community in a community that really does care about each other. It is definitely the friendliness of the people in our town that have helped to make us feel settled.


I think that's it. Intergrated is not the word, feeling settled is more like it. 

I'm not surprised you feel so happy where you live with the neighbours that you have.

Something I posted on another thread

I feel at home here because this is where I feel most comfortable, which is quite convenient really because this is where I live!


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I think that's it. Intergrated is not the word, feeling settled is more like it.
> 
> I'm not surprised you feel so happy where you live with the neighbours that you have.
> 
> ...


Like that way of putting it too. I have lived in several towns/cities in UK and was not very comfortable in two of them so I was nervous about the move to Spain. I had a few stipulations about what I did and did not want but even doing the ticky box thing does not always sort things out successfully. From the first time that we drove into the town it felt "comfortable", I have always said "it felt right" but I prefer your word.


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## Guest (Aug 8, 2011)

As ever, interesting comments and thoughts.

Maimee - hope all is better with your OH. Quite a humbling thing to read.

Having been here less than a year, I have been incredibly surprised about how quickly you can settle into things. I guess having a Spanish girlfriend, who teaches many of the children in the village, has accelerated my integration. Through her I have got to know many people and we spend a lot of time socialising with other families - Spanish, British and Dutch. 

For the first few months I felt very much like the village idiot - a (then) 43 year old man trapped with a 3 year old´s linguistic skills. Incredibly frustrating times. Happily admit to feeling like I´d made the wrong move early on, and did think about going back. Numpty.

But through perserverance, the love of a beautiful woman and her daughter, I´ve managed to muddle through. Her 5 year old is the best teacher I have and we spend a lot of time together. Her English has gotten incredibly good, in a very short time, and she spends all of her time teaching/correcting/laughing at me. Cheeky little minx also teaches me wrong words for a laugh. Grr

Most of the shopkeepers help me with my Spanish, as do most of our friends. I guess they like the fact that I´m a open book and have a strong desire to learn the language, as well as understand the cultural aspects of the local community and the region.

There are many Brits here who keep themselves to themselves or congregate together and not bother with language etc. Having read the thread on Plastic Spanish, I guess I may fall towards some of the categories described, but having worked in UK, Europe, US, Middle East and Far East, I´ve always had a tendency to get stuck in and assimilate as best I can. I think one of the reasons I don´t spend too much time with many of these Brits, is as much down to age difference as it is to having things in common. Many of them spend a lot of time in the bars, whereas I prefer to go out only now and again. I prefer stomping up the hills to getting slowly pickled in the bar, but that was the same in the UK.

I guess I´m ambivilant towards them and have no real feelings on the matter. It´s their choice and nothing I do or say should affect the choices they´ve made in their life. Would be selfish and arrogant to think otherwise.

I´ve made friends through climbing and trekking, which is driven by common enjoyment of the sport, which is pretty much normal in any situation/location. Again, our little cabal is a healthy mix of Spanish, Brits and Dutch.

I know full well that I will never be a local or be fully assimilated, but hey, in my late mother´s village in Scotland, you had to be born and die there, to be local. I was born on the other coast and all my cousins from that village still treat me as if I´m a martian. Hell, they even regard people from the next village (1 mile) as outsiders. So, why would Spain or anywhere else be any different.

I think it is all linked into how you chose to intergrate, how you conduct yourself and interact with other people. If you behave like some boorish lout, then people will steer clear of you and that is as true in London as it is here.

Well, that´s my thoughts peeps. Now, gotta dash, there´s a five year old hassling me to build the farm I promised , out of chicken wire, papier mache and poster paint. Can´t think of a better thing to be doing on a Monday afternoon.

Pip Pip!


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

I have lived here permanently for just over three years now. We live in a village with very few English-speakers, and feel very settled and comfortable.  We were made welcome from day one.

Half a dozen Brits who were living here when we arrived have now gone back to the UK. We used to socialise with them a lot, because it was easy and comfortable to be with people who spoke the same language. They were all older than us and had trouble speaking Spanish. Since they left we have got to know far more Spanish people and this has broadened our horizons enormously (not to mention our language skills).

After three years I feel that the rose-coloured tint has worn off my spectacles and I now see things for what they are, warts and all, instead of manically trying to defend everything Spanish in order to justify having moved here. I don´t love Spain any less, just in a different way. It's like any relationship really - the romance might wear off but if you work at it, a deeper affection and understanding can take its place. I believe our friends who returned to England thought the romance would last forever ...


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## djfwells (Sep 28, 2009)

Been here 8 years, will let you know as soon as I have.


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## Sirtravelot (Jul 20, 2011)

djfwells said:


> Been here 8 years, will let you know as soon as I have.


Not had a good time?


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## djfwells (Sep 28, 2009)

Sirtravelot said:


> Not had a good time?


Having a great time, thanks for asking.
I just recon that I'm one of those guy who will simply stop trying to integrate / fit in if I ever get to the stage where I feel 'settled'. I moved House 8 times in the 7 years before I moved to Spain so never really felt settled anywhere in the UK.


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## Sirtravelot (Jul 20, 2011)

djfwells said:


> Having a great time, thanks for asking.
> I just recon that I'm one of those guy who will simply stop trying to integrate / fit in if I ever get to the stage where I feel 'settled'. I moved House 8 times in the 7 years before I moved to Spain so never really felt settled anywhere in the UK.


I get what you mean. I've moved about...6 times in the last 3 years and it's an absolute nightmare. I thought the UK would solve all my problems, but it's created plenty more of them.

I don't want to be naiive, but I'm hoping Spain will help.


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Sirtravelot said:


> I get what you mean. I've moved about...6 times in the last 3 years and it's an absolute nightmare. I thought the UK would solve all my problems, but it's created plenty more of them.
> 
> I don't want to be naiive, but I'm hoping Spain will help.


Think carefully about what was rght/wrong with each of the places that you have lived and this can be the start of your list for looking at places in Spain. It is a country with so many different facets that it surely has somewhere that will suit you perfectly. Decide on your must haves and not bothered abouts to assist with your research and most of all enjoy your research.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

djfwells said:


> Having a great time, thanks for asking.
> I just recon that I'm one of those guy who will simply stop trying to integrate / fit in if I ever get to the stage where I feel 'settled'. I moved House 8 times in the 7 years before I moved to Spain so never really felt settled anywhere in the UK.


Sirtravelalot says he gets it, but I don't!
You obviously didn't feel settled/ happy in the UK as you moved so much, but what about Spain? I don't think you've moved in Spain, have you? I believe you have your own business that's doing well - isn't that being settled?
Just wondering...


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Sirtravelalot says he gets it, but I don't!
> You obviously didn't feel settled/ happy in the UK as you moved so much, but what about Spain? I don't think you've moved in Spain, have you? I believe you have your own business that's doing well - isn't that being settled?Just wondering...


For me it is different being physically settled regarding where you live and your work than being mentally settled.


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## djfwells (Sep 28, 2009)

Maimee said:


> For me it is different being physically settled regarding where you live and your work than being mentally settled.


Both good points, I think it's just a personality thing. I've never been one to sit infront of the fire with a pipe and slippers and declare myself 'to be settled' - always looking for another challenge. 

In physical terms I am probably no more less 'settled' than anyone else living here who thinks that they are. I just wouldn't class myself as such.

One thing that IS unsettling is that so far this year I have lost 5 good friends in our small village to 'repatriation' (bad choice of word, because some of those were Spanish moving on to other areas with better prospects of employment).


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## Happyexpat (Apr 4, 2011)

Everything that has been said is basically the way I feel, learn the language, become settled, take part in a Spanish life. I also don't like the word integrate but unfortunately that is really what it boils down to.
WE love it here and wouldn't want to go back to the UK, maybe down Almeria way, Cuevas del Almanzora area) though.....

Note the big WE. We know many Brits that have over the last couple of years gone back to the UK usually citing, lack of money, lack of work, health, heat but it seems, always tagged on at the end, that the wife is missing the family. I am not being sexist about this, it's just a fact. We are lucky although we have family in the UK who we love but they are independent as are we. I am lucky in having a wife who thinks that way.

Living out here takes a bit of adjusting to, the pace of life, the paperwork, the minefield of contradictory regulations, the tranquil almost couldn't care less attitude to everything but it is worth it!

We balance our life, live in a Pueblo where we are the only Brits, have been accepted and are now part of the village and it's activities. We are also part of the Brit groups twice a week 25km away where we both help in the English Speaking Club in El Campello. Two days a week of just a couple of hours each day with the group we can just about do then we run away back to our Spanish life. Of course the occasional social activity, dinner etc is usually an enjoyable event and we do have friends there.

Living in 'real' Spain is about taking life as you find, not trying to change it and, eventually, just blending in.

Love it!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

All I can say is that I settled in Spain fairly quickly. Somehow it felt right. I did have a few moments and issues where I wondered if I'd done the right thing, but on the whole. Spain felt like home!

We moved back to the UK a couple of months ago and so far I have felt like a fish out of water, I hate it to the point where I've had to keep going back to Spain, so over the last month or so I've flitted back several times for a few days. This stay in the UK has been the longest for me, I've been here one whole week and I'm desperate to get out and go back to Spain again - really desperate!!!! I hate it here so much



Jo xxx


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Sirtravelot said:


> I get what you mean. I've moved about...6 times in the last 3 years and it's an absolute nightmare. I thought the UK would solve all my problems, but it's created plenty more of them.
> 
> I don't want to be naiive, but I'm hoping Spain will help.


I guess that depends whether what is making you unsettled is related to where you are living, or something more fundamental. 

I believe it was you who said in an earlier post that you were frustrated by bureaucracy, poor service and general slowness in getting things done when you lived in Portugal? To find contentment in Spain, you really will have to change that attitude - because Spain isn't going to change in the foreseeable future!


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## Sirtravelot (Jul 20, 2011)

Alcalaina said:


> I guess that depends whether what is making you unsettled is related to where you are living, or something more fundamental.
> 
> I believe it was you who said in an earlier post that you were frustrated by bureaucracy, poor service and general slowness in getting things done when you lived in Portugal? To find contentment in Spain, you really will have to change that attitude - because Spain isn't going to change in the foreseeable future!


That is true, and you make a very good point.

I'm definately going to take it all with as much humour as possible. 

It could possibly be that Portugal's state bothered me so much because it's the country I was born in and I was frustrated by its inefficiency after having lived in 3 other countries.

I could go back to Portugal after graduating, but I've got far too much emotional baggage there. Spain just seems like the happier alternative. 

Unfortunately, I know quite a bit about Portugal and which places are good and which aren't, but I hardly know anything about Spain. I've been using google and google maps furiously for the past few weeks.


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Sirtravelot said:


> Unfortunately, I know quite a bit about Portugal and which places are good and which aren't, but I hardly know anything about Spain. I've been using google and google maps furiously for the past few weeks.


So what sort of place do you prefer to live. Busy and bustling or quiet and tranquil? Large town/city, small town/hamlet, urban or rural? Nightlife, walks, beach, parks, countryside, views. Different nationalities or mainly Spanish or mainly Brits?


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## Sirtravelot (Jul 20, 2011)

Maimee said:


> So what sort of place do you prefer to live. Busy and bustling or quiet and tranquil? Large town/city, small town/hamlet, urban or rural? Nightlife, walks, beach, parks, countryside, views. Different nationalities or mainly Spanish or mainly Brits?


Well, I think I'd rather be somewhere busy. I know driving in Spain is a nightmare, so being somewhere where you can reach necessary places by foot or bus would be great.

I don't think I'd be able to live in a "boring" place. Portugal has plenty of those. Being close to some place modern where things are happening would be grand.

It would have to be near the coast, no doubt about it.

Different nationalities (particularly German and British) would be ideal, but I want to become as Spanish as possible. I don't want to be someone who can't integrate with the locals. Also, I'd like to be close to a place where tourists go, but not some place where you get the typical German or British tourist getting absolutely legless.

What I know:
A friend of mine always talks about Valencia and how great it is. 
Malaga seems all right, but possibly boring?
Barcelona seems like what Bavaria is to Germany or Quebec to Canada. Could this be a good thing?
Sevilla sounds far too hot.
Alicante sounds fine, but I don't know much about it.

You'd never find me in Madrid though!


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Sirtravelot said:


> Well, I think I'd rather be somewhere busy. I know driving in Spain is a nightmare, so being somewhere where you can reach necessary places by foot or bus would be great.
> 
> I don't think I'd be able to live in a "boring" place. Portugal has plenty of those. Being close to some place modern where things are happening would be grand.
> 
> ...


You have now ruled out a great deal of Spain with these few words. As I read your post I decided that I would start my reply with "rule out Madrid then" but you put that on the end of your post. Valencia is a wonderful city and I would highly recommend that you visit it. I would suggest that you endeavour to spend a week in each of the places that you have mentioned so that you gain a real feel for them. We can all tell you what we think of the places but it is down to how you feel when you gain experience of them for yourself.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Maimee said:


> You have now ruled out a great deal of Spain with these few words. As I read your post I decided that I would start my reply with "rule out Madrid then" but you put that on the end of your post. Valencia is a wonderful city and I would highly recommend that you visit it. I would suggest that you endeavour to spend a week in each of the places that you have mentioned so that you gain a real feel for them. We can all tell you what we think of the places but it is down to how you feel when you gain experience of them for yourself.


Curiouser and curiouser...
Why rule out Madrid on the basis of what sirtravelalot has said? The criteria that he has listed doesn't rule out Madrid.
And why rule out Madrid Sirxxx? Not that I'm defending it, just wondering why it's so absolutely not where you want to be?


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

djfwells said:


> Both good points, I think it's just a personality thing. I've never been one to sit infront of the fire with a pipe and slippers and declare myself 'to be settled' - always looking for another challenge.
> 
> In physical terms I am probably no more less 'settled' than anyone else living here who thinks that they are. I just wouldn't class myself as such.


Ahh.
So you seem to think of "being settled" with a negative connotation.
Personally I don't think "settled" has anything to do with "challenge" as in you can be settled and challenged at the same time, but as you say there's personality for you "cada persona es un mundo" as they say.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Maimee said:


> For me it is different being physically settled regarding where you live and your work than being mentally settled.


Oh!
When I talked about being settled or feeling comfortable I meant mentally more than physically.
Back to the drawing board then  re settled/ comfortable/ intergrated


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Curiouser and curiouser...
> Why rule out Madrid on the basis of what sirtravelalot has said? The criteria that he has listed doesn't rule out Madrid.
> And why rule out Madrid Sirxxx? Not that I'm defending it, just wondering why it's so absolutely not where you want to be?


I ruled out Madrid based on the fact that he wanted somewhere near to the coast.


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## Maimee (Jun 23, 2011)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Oh!
> When I talked about being settled or feeling comfortable I meant mentally more than physically.
> Back to the drawing board then  re settled/ comfortable/ intergrated


Now you have confused me because I thought that we were saying the same thing.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Maimee said:


> I ruled out Madrid based on the fact that he wanted somewhere near to the coast.


Missed that one.
OK Madrid ruled out!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

djfwells said:


> Both good points, I think it's just a personality thing. I've never been one to sit infront of the fire with a pipe and slippers and declare myself 'to be settled' - always looking for another challenge.
> 
> In physical terms I am probably no more less 'settled' than anyone else living here who thinks that they are. I just wouldn't class myself as such.
> 
> One thing that IS unsettling is that so far this year I have lost 5 good friends in our small village to 'repatriation' (bad choice of word, because some of those were Spanish moving on to other areas with better prospects of employment).


I've just come across this and it just seemed too much of a coincidence to ignore.

The author Roddy Doyle talks about the story "The man who said he'd never wear slippers"!! 

Roddy Doyle on The Book Show at Dublin - Sky Arts: The Book Show


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

how long before I settled here??

I felt _at home_ here from our first recce (with a 3 year old & a 1 month old) 4 years before we actually moved here


in the intervening years we explored various towns in the area - never too far north or south cos we felt the climate in the region was perfect

we were always drawn back to Jávea - even when we tried living in the US for a short (but WAY too long for me) time

to this day, my heart lifts whenever I return from wherever I've been & I see Móntgo


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## djfwells (Sep 28, 2009)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Ahh.
> So you seem to think of "being settled" with a negative connotation.
> Personally I don't think "settled" has anything to do with "challenge" as in you can be settled and challenged at the same time, but as you say there's personality for you "cada persona es un mundo" as they say.


For me, yes. For others ... well, each to their own.


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## Happyexpat (Apr 4, 2011)

*Famous quote*

It is said that when King Juan Carlos was asked his opinion a few years ago on the Gib situation he replied "I'm not worried about the English having Gibralter but I wouldn't mind getting Javea back from them.....lol



xabiachica said:


> how long before I settled here??
> 
> I felt _at home_ here from our first recce (with a 3 year old & a 1 month old) 4 years before we actually moved here
> 
> ...


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## Sirtravelot (Jul 20, 2011)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Missed that one.
> OK Madrid ruled out!


Yeah, and if it's anything like Lisbon...it's definately not for me.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Happyexpat said:


> It is said that when King Juan Carlos was asked his opinion a few years ago on the Gib situation he replied "I'm not worried about the English having Gibralter but I wouldn't mind getting Javea back from them.....lol


well the recession has pretty much given him his wish


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## Sirtravelot (Jul 20, 2011)

I'm going to Torremolinos in a week. Can anyone recommend me which places to check out over there?


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

xabiachica said:


> well the recession has pretty much given him his wish


judging by the number plates & language being spoken in the Port this morning he now needs to get it back from the French................


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## Seb* (Mar 22, 2009)

xabiachica said:


> judging by the number plates & language being spoken in the Port this morning he now needs to get it back from the French................


Yeah, I noticed that as well. If you go for a walk in our urbanisation at least every 2nd car is french and I hear a lot of french in the supermarkets. Time to dust off my rusty french language skills


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## Happyexpat (Apr 4, 2011)

Same in El Campello, Alicante and Gran Alicante, all French, guess they are the ones with money at the moment plus no exchange rate of course.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

Right from the start. This village is populated by wonderfully warm, friendly and generous people and, as I have commented elsewhere, it is much as I remember village life back in UK 60+years ago. My suegra is a 'city girl' and she, too, has been amazed at how well she has fitted in to a totally (to her) alien environment.


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## agua642 (May 24, 2009)

Intresting topic! It's can be hard to find the right place to settle, we are also looking at relocating within Spain, Valencia is a lovely City, but where is Valencia would u like in middle City, or on outskirts, what towns are nice on outskirts with good travel links? Have you looked at Elche, location looks good, close to Alicante also and close to beaches.


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## Happyexpat (Apr 4, 2011)

*Elche*

Actually Elche is a fascinating place that might be worth looking at. Its only 10km from us yet even we don't know it that well. For some reason we keep saying we will go there and have good look round but never seem to make it (thats in 10 years by the way LOL).

It has a history going back to pre Roman times and yet the place itself gives the impression of being vibrant and modern. It has a thriving 'arts' scene and, I am told, excellent nightlife. There are plenty of smaller villages just outside Elche but within an easy 15 mins drive to the City centre. 

Alicante is a mixture of old and new. I like the place but with a but. Somehow IMO it just doesn't seem to have integrated properly the really old with the really new. Its also expensive in almost every way. Parking anywhere in the city is an absolute nightmare, especially in the Summer. I have trouble even parking our bike! It is however a very 'trendy' place especially near to the Marina or the Rambla. 



agua642 said:


> Intresting topic! It's can be hard to find the right place to settle, we are also looking at relocating within Spain, Valencia is a lovely City, but where is Valencia would u like in middle City, or on outskirts, what towns are nice on outskirts with good travel links? Have you looked at Elche, location looks good, close to Alicante also and close to beaches.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

It is important to sit quietly and list what you like about/don't like about, where you live now, where you have lived recently, where you were brought up, born, etc to get a really good idea of what you are likely to be really comfortable with, in the long term. It is no good coming here without that list firmly in your mind otherwise you will be taken in by so many places that you will end up living somewhere and always wonder whether it is really where you want to be and it can work out expensive to keep moving around.

Then sit down with a map and mark those areas places that might fit the bill and do this with eyes wide open and be realistic. When you come to visit, first off go round some of those areas with no particular house/village/town/province/community in mind and check how many of the items on your list are met. Some will immediately say to you "No way, José!" (we looked at a village called Monte Lopé, it was hot dusty, scorched and we stood there waiting for the tumbleweed to roll up the street while expecting Wyatt Earp to come clomping out of the sheriff's office).

A couple of major questions: Do you speak Spanish or are you prepared to take the trouble to learn fairly quickly? Do you want to be with other Expats or would you prefer to be more with the locals? How important is easy and quick access to hospitals? etc.


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