# Want to go home!



## irishoz (May 5, 2012)

Hi guys

Anyone here wanting to make the move back to Ireland? I've been here 6 years and am over it! Missing family and getting to the stage where if I stay then this will have to be home/where I start a family etc... Anyone else feeling the same. I have work so I know m better off than many struggling back hme but the pull of my family is calling me.ive never really shaken the homesickness after all these years. Anyone moved back and gotten work etc? People think you're crazy for even mentioning it over here. They see Oz as the land of opportunity and Ireland as a disaster zone! Things are so expensive here that while I earn decent money I don't own a house or anything like that..

Thanks!


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## Guest (May 5, 2012)

I totally understand where you are coming from  
Ireland is in a pretty bad way, as is the UK. But it really depends on what you do and where you will live? There is no saying you'll get a job, I've been back over 6 months and I've given up applying its so disheartening  I'm going back to uni instead. Sure it will pick up in a few years but right now its bad. 

Are you a citizen? I would do that if not just in case, you don't want to be full of regrets and unable to return. 
Would having family, a friend etc come over for a holiday make things any better? When did you last see them? Its not like you haven't given it a fair shot, 6 years is a long time!


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## irishoz (May 5, 2012)

Thanks for the reply 

Yep I'm a citizen so I'm lucky to have that.
Sorry to hear you're having a hard time of it. I'm actually studying myself here at the moment too - its expensive and tough going but should be worth it. I know realistically I can't go back for a few years... Just sucks at times with how things are back home. 

I've been in oz most of my adult life now that you kinda wonder where do u really belong! Don't feel connected to oz (or haven't allowed myself!!) but also wonder if I would fit in back home.

I've been home for plenty of quick visits so I'm lucky in that respect. Only so long I can afford to keep that up - think that's what worries me.

Best of luck with your studies & I hope that will lead you to your dream job


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## Theshakes (Apr 26, 2012)

Hi there,
Just saw your post, try to think practically, especially when it comes to opportunities for you and maybe your future family. There are only 2 (practicle) reasons that we are moving permanently to Oz, climate, ie outdoor lifestyle, Irish winter in West of Ireland is like 6 months house arrest...with young kids. And opportunities, for us initially, but mainly for the kids. I know the cost of living is much higher there now, but I had no full time work for the last 3 years, and I have 3 degrees, My wife has a Phd, and her salary is cut to pieces now, and we're living with the consequences of a bubble economy. Maybe you can make a fresh start, and buy a good new house for €20k, its possible, but you will need some strings to get good work. And think about your old age, and how oldies are seen here. I know its different there, I lived there for 2 years, 16 years ago, and I went back thinking this is the only place only to see the lunacy that went on in the last 10 years. Dont think your going to get a pension either, they're spending all the pension money bailing out the banks. Its every thing you've always known but could'nt hear.
Don't mean to be short with you, but you're an Aussie now, get over it! Go out there, sieze opportunities, enjoy life and relax.
I know things have changed scince I was there, but I'm going there to carve out the life that I need for my family, because its possible. Here, you won't have that option.
Choice is yours, choose wisely.
But if your going to be a moany expat, then go back, You WILL be happier.
I know I'll be avoiding all things Irish when I get there, I feel so lucky to get a second chance (finger crossed)


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## jb12 (Jan 27, 2012)

Hi Irishoz,

It's natural for you to be homesick for your family and being back home. May I ask how you did end up in Australia in the first place? Was it for job opportunities or just a change in life? 

I think you still have that homesickness is because as you stated, you don't feel connected to Australia because you haven't allowed yourself. I think once you can do this and allow yourself to see your life in Australia, your homesickness will not be so bad. Of course, missing family will never go away. But if you constantly think about them and not allow yourself to enjoy your future in Australia, then it is likely that being away from your family is not for you?

Before you make any decision, just think what you want in your future. You mentioned that you don't own a house in Australia. I think with the economy right now in most countries, owning a house is not all what it's cracked up to be. I live in the US and the value of our houses has gone down significantly in most states. What we have putting into our house for the last 10 years or so is nothing. For majority of people, the house mortgage is higher than what the house is worth. No real equity. No one knows when the housing value will pick up. Sometimes it is best to just rent so you can leave once the contract is expired. If you end up getting married in the future, then it's likely you would be able to afford a house in Australia with a two family income .

Next time you are back in Ireland, check out the job opportunities and see what you would be qualified for. If you were able to move back and couldn't find a job right away, do you have family that you can stay with? Have you discussed with your family back in Ireland of your possible decision?

I would have to agree with TheShakes. Enjoy life and relax there in Australia. If living in Perth is the cause, maybe try considering finding a new job in a new city that has the lifestyle that you are looking for? I guess think about the positive things that is happening to your life. If you know that job opportunities are not looking good in Ireland, then it's probably not a good time right now to do so. Otherwise, you will be going there with a different type of stress. It's no longer missing your family, but finding a job!

Good luck in whatever you decide.


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## Guest (May 5, 2012)

There is nothing to come back to here,no jobs,no lifestyle nothing only taxes,havent worked in nearly 4 years,can sell the house as we would`nt get what we payed for it,or more importantly what we owe the bloody bank
Find a partner have a child or 2 and make a new life for yourself in oz


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## jumhed (Jan 10, 2012)

Ireland is an economic disaster zone. It's very sad. Most of my cousins have left and gone to the UK or Oz. They're all graduates but couldn't find work in Ireland.

One of the great things about being Irish is you're never far from another Irish person, especially in Oz or the UK.

Sit tight where you are. I know I would.


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## stormgal (Sep 30, 2009)

Sadly, it's as true as it ever was:

_"There is no place like home"_

So whether there's an economic disaster or not, the truth is that home is home. 
On the other hand, home is really psychologically based - it is where we want it to be, and so we work for - both mentally and emotionally for any given place to be home.


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## jb12 (Jan 27, 2012)

stormgal said:


> Sadly, it's as true as it ever was:
> 
> _"There is no place like home"_
> 
> ...


I would have to agree with you regarding home is what you want it to be. What is even sadder is. You may go back to your former city/country. But if your friends or relatives are no longer living there, that "home" is no longer what you remember it to be. The neighborhoods and people will likely have changed as time passes.


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## stormgal (Sep 30, 2009)

jb12 said:


> I would have to agree with you regarding home is what you want it to be. What is even sadder is. You may go back to your former city/country. But if your friends or relatives are no longer living there, that "home" is no longer what you remember it to be. The neighborhoods and people will likely have changed as time passes.


Oh I so strongly agree with this statement. It's like going back to high school or college because you remember all the fun you had, but sadly, although the school is there, it's not with the same people. 

Have you ever tried to contact an old friend? I have, and it's almost as if they're not the same person you once knew. sigh... oh well, now Im getting nostalgic


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## jb12 (Jan 27, 2012)

With the availability of Facebook, you probably can find an old friend. I sort of prefer not to be added as a friend from people back in high school. From my experience and from friends I have asked about, people add you as a friend on Facebook but don't even bother to send an email or post on the wall to ask how are you,etc. ? If not and you ask a question, they never answer. So it's kind of strange to add people as friends when it is clear that they just want to increase their friends' list because they don't want to further communicate!

I think your only true friends are probably the friends that you still have from back in high school, middle school,etc. They are the ones that no matter how long the two of you have not communicated with each other through phone, email, or mail, at anytime you get a chance to catch up, it's like you can pick up from the last conversation. It's one of those things that it is a given that your friend and yourself will have a different set of friends that you hang out locally if the both of you no longer live close to each other. For the other older friends that may not try to continue the communication to keep the friendship through the years, then it's probably not worth saving. Time to move on and just remember the memories.


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## Engi (Apr 10, 2012)

jb12 said:


> With the availability of Facebook, you probably can find an old friend. I sort of prefer not to be added as a friend from people back in high school. From my experience and from friends I have asked about, people add you as a friend on Facebook but don't even bother to send an email or post on the wall to ask how are you,etc. ? If not and you ask a question, they never answer. So it's kind of strange to add people as friends when it is clear that they just want to increase their friends' list because they don't want to further communicate!
> 
> I think your only true friends are probably the friends that you still have from back in high school, middle school,etc. They are the ones that no matter how long the two of you have not communicated with each other through phone, email, or mail, at anytime you get a chance to catch up, it's like you can pick up from the last conversation. It's one of those things that it is a given that your friend and yourself will have a different set of friends that you hang out locally if the both of you no longer live close to each other. For the other older friends that may not try to continue the communication to keep the friendship through the years, then it's probably not worth saving. Time to move on and just remember the memories.


True +1


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## Maz25 (Jul 6, 2008)

irishoz said:


> Thanks for the reply
> 
> Yep I'm a citizen so I'm lucky to have that.
> Sorry to hear you're having a hard time of it. I'm actually studying myself here at the moment too - its expensive and tough going but should be worth it. I know realistically I can't go back for a few years... Just sucks at times with how things are back home.
> ...


I've been an expat for 10 years now and homesickness never quite goes away. At some point, you condition your brain to get used to your situation but if you go home for a short visit or family comes over to visit, the minute they have to leave, then you are back to square one and miss them like mad for a few days/ weeks. Ultimately, you get back into your daily routine and get back to normal until the next visit.

On the other hand, as has been pointed out, home may not be what you remember it to be. I know that my home is different, friends have moved on, the neighbourhood is different, etc, so I would be kidding myself if I thought that I would find my old life if ever I decided to go back home. That may not necessarily be entirely true for you but when you're at your worst, it's worth making a little list of pros and cons and then at some point, it may become clear that you have a better life here or it will reinforce your desire to go home.

This may also not necessarily be an 'I want to go home' situation and quite possible an 'I don't like Oz' situation. I lived in the UK for 6 years and hated every minute of it. I thought I wanted to go home but chose to move to a different country first to get the expat lifestyle out of my system. The experience was completely different - I embraced the lifestyle, met loads of new people and it suddenly hit me that I did not actually want to go home - I just wanted to leave the UK!

Try taking up a new hobby, make new friends and keep yourself occupied. That may change your mind about Oz once you feel a bit more integrated within your community. But if all fails, then maybe, it would be better to go home. Even if that's still a few years away, you can still look forward to it and your time here won't be that bad.


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## irishoz (May 5, 2012)

Thanks everyone for their comments, you all make good points!

I agree with the idea that things move on at home and it may not be the same place it was. I've been back quite regularly so I know it's changed but it's still fundamentally similar to how it's always been. Think my issue is more e people rather than the place. I miss my family and siblings terribly and want them to be a part of my life - and my future kids life. I worry about the regret I might feel if I never go back.

But such is the life of an expat I guess! Prob just having a bad weekend!


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## deeno88 (Apr 12, 2012)

how are you feeling ? are you still looking to come home ?


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## welshgirl67 (Aug 8, 2012)

irishoz said:


> Hi guys
> 
> Anyone here wanting to make the move back to Ireland? I've been here 6 years and am over it! Missing family and getting to the stage where if I stay then this will have to be home/where I start a family etc... Anyone else feeling the same. I have work so I know m better off than many struggling back hme but the pull of my family is calling me.ive never really shaken the homesickness after all these years. Anyone moved back and gotten work etc? People think you're crazy for even mentioning it over here. They see Oz as the land of opportunity and Ireland as a disaster zone! Things are so expensive here that while I earn decent money I don't own a house or anything like that..
> 
> Thanks!


Hi irishoz.... We moved back to Uk last september after living in Calgary canada for nearly 4 years. Like you we missed everything about Britain... the royal wedding made it really bad for us after watching it from our living room in calgary. To be honest we only lasted 6 months back in UK.. Not because we didnt want to be there but because we couldnt put our teenage daughter back a year to sit her exams. really sad i know but she would of missed out of sitting all her exams in school and just being able to sit the main core subjects didnt go down well with her. So to cut a long story short we are back in calgary with my husband rejoining back to the police service. I cant stress enough how much i miss home being wales but we livied in surrey for the 6 months we were there as my husband transfered to surrey police as they were the only force recruiting when we returned last september, it doesnt matter where in the world you are from and if the move doesnt feel right after so many years then i would go with my instinct and return back and see how you feel.I know that once our children graduate from school we will definately weigh up our options then. Its a curse having lived in 2 countries... never find the right balance as both have good and bad. I wish you luck in your quest to return home and hope life is good for you... Sue


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## sb2010 (Jun 14, 2012)

I can understand what you are going through. 
And its more painful when the memories keep flashing. 
What keeps me going is the annual vacation back home every year. 
I look forward to it and plan how to make the most of the time there. 
You should try to visit your family more often.
You can also try to have them with you on a tourist visa and spend some quality time with them in your home. that way you'll be with your family and have fond memories in Australia itself. which will make Australia more special for you.


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## ManBearPig73 (Aug 16, 2012)

irishoz said:


> Hi guys
> 
> Anyone here wanting to make the move back to Ireland? I've been here 6 years and am over it! Missing family and getting to the stage where if I stay then this will have to be home/where I start a family etc... Anyone else feeling the same. I have work so I know m better off than many struggling back hme but the pull of my family is calling me.ive never really shaken the homesickness after all these years. Anyone moved back and gotten work etc? People think you're crazy for even mentioning it over here. They see Oz as the land of opportunity and Ireland as a disaster zone! Things are so expensive here that while I earn decent money I don't own a house or anything like that..
> 
> Thanks!


Dear irishoz,

My sister and her family emigrated to OZ 4 years ago from South Africa. I never knew how tough it was for her but this is what she told me. The first 9 months they considered getting back on a plane to come home. The next year was better but they had tough times as the flooding in Queensland hit them hard and her husband was without permanent employment for almost a year. She experienced panic attacks and constantly considered going home. She was missing her family, the kids were unhappy and longed for their family in South Africa in general. Sleepless nights where not uncommon.

One morning she woke up and considered why she come to OZ in the first place. Are those reasons still valid or did things change. She found that they were truer now than before. She decided there and then that she could no longer live with her feet on 2 continents. She has to stop being South African and commit herself to her chosen country.

From that day things have turned around for them. The kids are happier than ever before. My sister started studying a new degree, they had a baby, I am on my way to join them in Australia next year, and her husband started making decent money with his part time business. He joined the Queensland policy department, studying at the academy to be a policeman.

Since that day everything changed for her because she made a decision and followed through on it. She has gained as many friends in this year as she had in South Africa and I can see that she is truly happy now.

Many of her friends are also immigrants and that support group has helped her immensely, because these people also share your loneliness. They could comfort each other and support each other in difficult times.

I hope her story can help you make a decision that is right for you. There is nothing worst in live then to feel alone and unfulfilled.


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## eoinob (Aug 17, 2012)

We moved to Sydney in 2009 with residency and my wife stayed for 14 months. She left and went back to Ireland with the kids saying she was "homesick". I finished up work and joined them. It's by far the worst thing we could have done. We're now planning on going back to Australia, but not Sydney, it's too expensive.


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