# Considering Abu Dhabi



## Niall79 (Sep 14, 2014)

Hello everyone,
my first post so please be gentle 

I'm currently based in London, however I'm interviewing for a job in Abu Dhabi. Main motivation for moving would be money if I'm honest and main concern is how I would cope living in such a 'conservative' (backward would actually be more appropriate) country.

I have done some research and I've found a few threads mentioning some kind of 'underground' gay life in Dubai and a relatively large community living there, but I think I have read virtually nothing on Abu Dhabi in that respect. If there is any gay guy who lives there who would be happy to chat I would be really grateful if I could hear their experience first hand.

Trivial question also: if I move there I would definitely want friends to come over and being able to let them stay at mine. So if I rent a 2 bed apt, can I not have (female) guests staying over at mine while they visit? Would they have to stay in a hotel? What about a couple of (married/unmarried) friends?
And what's with live-in maids then? How do so many people have live-in maids? I'm assuming they're women. Is that an 'exception' to the rule?

Thanks in advance


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Hi Niall,

Welcome to the forum! I will try and answer most of your questions and hopefully someone will chime in soon too.

I wouldn't call Abu Dhabi a backward city. Yes, it is a conservative country that are governed by Shariah laws but you would first need to accept that before even considering a move to the UAE. Things don't work at a fast pace compared to back home and it could be a huge culture shock so first step is to prepare yourself mentally and accept that we will be guests here and need to live by their rules.

With regard to the underground gay community....again, homosexuality is not recognized in the UAE and is a taboo subject (hence the underground community I suppose). That being said, there are a lot of gays that live and work comfortably in this country without facing any issues. PDA is not acceptable no matter what the relationship type so if you keep that in mind, you will be fine. I have many gay friends living in Dubai and no one has faced any challenges so far. Don't know anyone in Abu Dhabi though.

If you're a single male living alone, then yes, technically, your female friends will need to stay in a hotel. There are a lot of visitors that come to the UAE though and stay with their friends with no problems. Again, keep in mind the culture and the rules and you will be fine.

Single men cannot sponsor live in maids. Only men that are on family status and have a family living with them can sponsor a maid visa.

Good luck with your interview!


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## Niall79 (Sep 14, 2014)

Hi Pamela,
Thanks for your reply. Yes I know, I'm conscious of having to adapt to the local customs and I'd be prepared to live by their rules, but as I said that would be my main concern, how long will I be able to put up with that environment. 
I'm quite reserved and I'm no rainbow flag waver, but that doesn't change the reality of living in a country where human rights are stuck 50 years back.

I would have several (male/female/couple) friends who would visit me from Europe, so not being able to letting them stay over at mine without breaking the law is as depressing as the whole gay issue to be honest.

Is there any liberal destination nearby in the region where I could go to just to spend a weekend to get away? Somewhere I would not be liable to end up in jail? I would have thought Israel but I believe there are no direct flights, so it's not that easy to get there I guess, is there anywhere else?

I will be able to have a maid for a few hours a week (not a live in one, who I wouldnt want/need anyway), or is that forbidden as well cause I'm a single male?

Thanks again, and if there's anyone else who would want to share their opinion that'd be very welcome (especially gay guys living in AD?).


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## rsinner (Feb 3, 2009)

Niall79 said:


> I would have several (male/female/couple) friends who would visit me from Europe, so not being able to letting them stay over at mine without breaking the law is as depressing as the whole gay issue to be honest.


Other males and couples can stay over. No issues. Females coming over can stay as well. But be sensible about it. You will not be caught for having them - however, if there were any legal trouble when you are here (for example, hypothetically you get into an argument with your neighbour and the police come over) then you MAY be charged with cohabiting. Having long term flatmates of the opposite sex is the riskier issue (and still quite a few people have them) - not short term visitors. 



Niall79 said:


> I will be able to have a maid for a few hours a week (not a live in one, who I wouldnt want/need anyway), or is that forbidden as well cause I'm a single male?


Yes you can. There are several agencies you can hire maids from on an hourly basis. You just won't be able to sponsor one full time.

In terms of "liberal" destinations nearby - probably Greece which is not that close. India? Sri Lanka? Thailand (not that close but flights are relatively cheaper than flying to other destinations)

In terms of all the angst you have about the Middle East. You are moving here for the money, as are a lot of other people. It has its quirks. That is the reason people get paid more and have zero taxes because of the "hardship" they have to suffer. You can fight the "system" or learn to live within it by improvising.


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## Alizawi (Aug 13, 2014)

Honestly, if you compare life in AD to life in the UK, the bottom line will be a higher quality of life in AD:

- overall better quality of housing (depending on what your qualifications are, and what package you get). More space as well

- Most places are relatively new, and the quality and finishing is usually outstanding.. this applies to housing, dining, nightlife, malls, etc..

- great nightlife, and more so if you go to Dubai...

- great facilities for the most part- overall things are organized.. But life is very fast paced, sometimes hectic

Overall, the quality of life is better, and you will have a lot more luxuries. You can always have visitors at your place btw.. I always used to stay at friends' places, sometimes for a week or 2. 

Just no PDA...aside from that, everything will be an "upgrade" from what you are used to. 

That's the usual feedback I get from friends who have moved from UK to AD.


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## Niall79 (Sep 14, 2014)

Thanks, any other opinion is very welcome


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

I'm guessing you've not visited the UAE? I would say, given your concerns, this is a MUST for you. While I appreciate you won't be able to assess what life will be like for you personally, you will be able to see the place for yourself and, who knows, you may be pleasantly surprised? I think the views you have been given by other forum members are fair. We don't live in the desert (although it's not that far away) and you won't find too many camels running around most of our streets haha! What you will find are people from countries that you would never have had the opportunity to meet, from all walks of life. You'll love some of them, you'll like some and some you will probably hate!!! Living here isn't really that different from anywhere else, you make your way and you will find your way. When I landed here, there were no forums, no clubs, no meet-ups, nothing! All of this is here now, making the transition far easier. And you know what, you can always try it and if you don't like it, you can leave! There's nothing stopping you. But, going back to my original point, I would most definitely visit first. Good luck with everything.


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## Niall79 (Sep 14, 2014)

Hi,
Yes you are correct, I have never been to AD, but that is definitely on the cards before I take any final decision. I’m trying to get as much information as possible before I even get to the stage. Also it would be nice to have some contacts and someone to have a coffee with when I visit, so I thought this might be a good starting point.
When I said backward, I didn’t mean deserts and camels (although I love the desert, so that’s a plus for me), it’s more in relation to individual freedoms, human rights, rule of law, treatment of women and minorities, etc.
Thanks


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

With the greatest respect, I feel you have the impression that the UAE is the same as, for example, Saudi Arabia? It certainly isn't. There's no doubt it's different from living in the "western" world but, in truth, I see more drinking and debauchery here at a Friday brunch than I ever do when I visit a pub in the UK. I'd say, nowadays, the national ladies are held in huge esteem and most are considered to be more intelligent than the national men! Yes, you are right, there are what you could term as some human rights issues, but most of the time the stories are not quite as they are portrayed in the Daily Snail (or similar) and one incident can often be presented in such a way as to seem as if it is many. I've lived here an awfully long time now (probably too long!). I've had the chance to travel and to work with people and learn to enjoy the melting pot of different cultures here (believe you me, you think you work in a multi cultural society in the UK), but it's NOTHING like living here. Most importantly, I've grown as a person. When I go home, I see people I knew 15 years or so ago, who have not changed one iota. They are set in their routines, find it very difficult to think outside the box and very unaccepting of anything that does not fit with their way of life. I don't find the people I know here to be like that. Anyways, just my two fils!


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## Niall79 (Sep 14, 2014)

i realise UAE is not Saudi, but still too close to it for my liking 

maybe living there you never had to hide who you were like I would have to if I moved there.

As for multicultural environments, I do not feel I have to move to AD to find it, I've lived in four different countries and have lived in London for 7 years where you meet people for all walks of life. It's good that UAE is open in that respect, however it's certainly not the only place in the world...

No offense meant, i'm enjoying the debate


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Niall79 said:


> i realise UAE is not Saudi, but still too close to it for my liking
> 
> maybe living there you never had to hide who you were like I would have to if I moved there.
> 
> ...


I'm smiling because you are enjoying the debate and you shouldn't assume that anyone here has nothing to hide 

Not sure where you have lived, but - interestingly - I had always considered myself to have been part of a multi-cultural society in the UK (I'm a Londoner) but, when I arrived here, I realized that I wasn't. I lived on the peripherals and thought it was something I understood, but actually I didn't. It's only since I've lived here, that I have become more understanding of others.

And, most certainly the UAE (or Abu Dhabi in your case) is not the only place in the world. I'd certainly say to you, if you have better offers or will feel more comfortable elsewhere, then go for it!!


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