# Settling In? - France



## hamster82

Hi everyone,

I'm doing a study on English speakers who have moved to France.

I'm doing an assignment on the settling in process and I would be incredibly grateful if a few of you could take a minute to answer 10 questions.

I'd be very grateful for some insights into how you found moving to France, how you settled in and what the best and worst bits were for you.

I'd like to put the information together to help other expats in our area (Paris).

Now's your chance to share your experience! Tell it like it is 

If you have a spare few minutes, send me a quick PM and I'll send you the questions. It will be a huge help to other expats!

Thanks!


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## 95995

hamster82 said:


> Hi everyone,
> 
> I'm doing a study on English speakers who have moved to France.
> 
> I'm doing an assignment on the settling in process and I would be incredibly grateful if a few of you could take a minute to answer 10 questions.
> 
> I'd be very grateful for some insights into how you found moving to France, how you settled in and what the best and worst bits were for you.
> 
> I'd like to put the information together to help other expats in our area (Paris).
> 
> Now's your chance to share your experience! Tell it like it is
> 
> If you have a spare few minutes, send me a quick PM and I'll send you the questions. It will be a huge help to other expats!
> 
> Thanks!


No one will be able to PM you until you have submitted 5 posts.


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## DejW

I thinik thatI can't pm you because you have to have a min of x (5?) posts!

Happy to answer the questions - post them here and I'll answer here.

What is the purpose of your study? What will you do with the data?

DejW


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## hamster82

My mistake!

I wanted to post a link to my survey monkey questions but saw I couldn't do it yet. Didn't realise I couldn't answer PMs.

I work for a company that puts a lot of staff in France but doesn't offer any help  It's a real problem and I'm trying to put a help system in place for fellow workers. I've talked to a lot of colleagues but many employees don't know they're coming to France until the last minute. Normally they get very short notice.

I'd like to hear from a wider group of people about the whole experience so I can get a better idea of the whole range of problems people face.

Maybe, until I can post the link, people can start helping by answering this question in the thread:

What were the biggest 5 problems you faced settling into France (in priority order if possible)?


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## DejW

I'll do my best to answer, but one important thing to remember. People come to France for a variety of reasons - and therefore the consequent problems will vary. You may need to ask the question "why did you come to France". Possible answers include

*Retirement
*To find work
*as part of a job transfer or assignment
*trailing spouse (horrible expression, but accurate!)

For me I retired to France, but found work here, by accident.

The biggest challenge was learning French - I thought it would take 6 months after an intensive 3 week course - I've been here 13 years and still struggle sometimes. For example I've just learned what a "faiseuse d'anges" is - and it is NOT a direct translation.

After that it was integrating into the village with 400 inhabitants. Not like the UK at all. A lot of hard work and invitations to apéros.

There's also something about "letting go" of the UK and everything in it. Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel uneasy calling a foreign country "home". Not sure why....something deep down that I don't understand.

...that's all at the moment - most of the other problems that I met could be solved with intelligence and hard work and a good dictionary (which is why I solved them slowly!)

DejW


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## hamster82

Thanks so much for the reply!

Yes, having been in Paris for 5 years I can totally relate. Most of the people I am hoping to help are moving as part of a job transfer (like me, they get told to go to France for a permanent contract or stay on a temporary contract forever!) or their trailing partners and families.

I hate to say it but the company is truly shocking at helping employees!

I really want to discover if settling in is as difficult for other people as it has been for me. I'd also like to hear some suggestions for how I could help people in my area. If you could invent a brand new way to get the help you need before, during and after you arrive - what would you ask for?


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## 95995

For me:

1. Getting a rental - the normal dossier was not possible for me, esp as I'd had the first few months of the year without income which made meeting the normal 1/3 of income pretty tough (although I overcame the problem by renting from a friend of the family)
2. Understanding that you need to set up a RDV with the bank for even very basic stuff
3. Understanding how insurance works in France
4. Not understanding that the bank had put ceilings on my banking operations (once I realised this I had them removed, which was really easy to do as I have reasonable funds in Australia)
5. Getting a handle on the administrative requirements for settling in France (I'm an EU citizen but that was complicated because I had spend the past 40 odd years in Australia).

I could go on  However, it's never easy to move to a new country and knowing that made it so much easier for me to deal with things calmly


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## hamster82

Thanks EverHopeful!

I also found renting a property very difficult at first. I've definitely put that one on the list of things I need to offer help with.

Banking seems to come up quite a bit!

I'm also finding the administrative things keep coming up in my colleague group.

It definitely helps to accept the gravity of the challenge that lies ahead for new movers!

Did you guys look for help when you faced these challenges? Did you find help?

I want to let people know they're not alone


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## 95995

hamster82 said:


> Thanks EverHopeful!
> 
> I also found renting a property very difficult at first. I've definitely put that one on the list of things I need to offer help with.
> 
> Banking seems to come up quite a bit!
> 
> I'm also finding the administrative things keep coming up in my colleague group.
> 
> It definitely helps to accept the gravity of the challenge that lies ahead for new movers!
> 
> Did you guys look for help when you faced these challenges? Did you find help?
> 
> I want to let people know they're not alone


I moved to France as a retiree so my circumstances are somewhat different to those of someone moving for a job. Plus I have (French) family here - the problem with that is that they absolutely have no understanding of the differences and difficulties, for them everything is normal, so (apart from the rental) they have not been of assistance. However, I did lots and lots of research on life in France before moving - and believe me I am STILL researching! I find this forum is very helpful - whilst I have asked few questions I have learnt a great deal from the various threads. So one of things you might want to do is provide the link to this forum.


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## hamster82

Oh, that's interesting to hear about the family not being able to offer a great deal of help because of the lack of understanding in the differences. Good info.

My wife said that she doesn't ask for too much help in the close group of expat friends she has because she doesn't want to put a drain on their time and risk a good long term friendship. It seems a bit odd but that's how real life works I guess!

Yes I love forums too and I'm sorry to admit I haven't used this one before. I tend to use social media groups myself.

Linking here is exactly what I'm hoping to do in my help system but I'd like to organise the links so people go straight to the relevant info without having to search too much.

Thank you for your thoughts 

I'm hoping this works now for anyone else who can spare a couple minutes of their time to help fellow expats out! All feedback is tremendously appreciated!!

Here's the link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/9CN5678


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## 95995

Frankly it's wonderful to be in an electronic (internet) age. If that had been the case 40 odd years ago, I think I would have moved here in the 70s!

The one think I think many expats don't realise is that it's hard (very hard) to move to and integrate into a new country, perhaps more so when that involved a different language. So people need to be aware that moving to France is going to be a real challenge, not a breeze. If you enjoy a challenge, though, and you have a job to go to, then do it. There is nothing like an international move to open up your mind and if you don't happen to like it, you can always move on/back. To quote a cliché, "Nothing venture, nothing gained".


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## hamster82

Very, very true! So much of it is in the positive attitude and seeing challenges rather than obstacles!

I'm just really concerned for people who are kind of forced into the move with very little notice. I went through it myself and many others are following thanks to the pressure the company puts on people to move for a job. It's a lot to do in a very short space of time with little time to prepare. 

I want to find the best way to put folks in touch with good help.


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## 95995

Sure, moving with little notice is definitely harder. Also, moving to another country for work can be extremely hard on trailing spouses and is known to result in marriage breakdown.


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## Bevdeforges

One factor in what you appear to be doing is the fact of the move being a "company transfer." Normally, that means that the company is subsidizing or underwriting a fair portion of the "logistics" of the move: moving costs, securing any necessary visas or other travel documents, possibly language lessons, etc. Though, in this day and age, there are some employers that simply don't bother with any of that (particularly for transfers within the EU). That's always going to be a big issue for work transfers - the level of employer support or the lack thereof.
Cheers,
Bev


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## DejW

Two thoughts for you which may or may not be relevant.

Learning to live in foreign country is like leanrning to walk again after a serious leg injury. Yes you need a crutch, but you need to throw it away at some point. Same with a friend who translates everything for you...at some time you need to do it yourself, make the mistakes and learn. Otherwise you will never master the new life.

Second...I've met some Brits who have been in France for 20 or 30+ years and speak fluent French with French speaking children etc. I''ve been in France for 14 years , with 4 years of marriage to a Française. The thing is that you stay "Brit" and do not become "French". Even the people I know who have taken French nationality (not Brits) say "I've got a French ID card, but really I'm from X country. This can be good or bad, but it exists.

You probably need to exclude from your survey bilingual children from say French / Brit parents. I've met a few as students when I was a lecturer. These people are equally at home in either language / country or jokes.

Anyway, good luck!

DejW


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## hamster82

Bevdeforges said:


> One factor in what you appear to be doing is the fact of the move being a "company transfer." Normally, that means that the company is subsidizing or underwriting a fair portion of the "logistics" of the move: moving costs, securing any necessary visas or other travel documents, possibly language lessons, etc. Though, in this day and age, there are some employers that simply don't bother with any of that (particularly for transfers within the EU). That's always going to be a big issue for work transfers - the level of employer support or the lack thereof.
> Cheers,
> Bev


Indeed Bev!

It's one of the biggest concerns I have and something that really upsets me. I'm seeing a serious pattern developing with the company I work for and not only in France. Wherever they send people (all over Europe) they just throw you in the deep end and leave you to make your own way. There's absolutely no feeling of corporate responsibility toward employees and their families. 

I agree with DejW that people should make an effort to get up on their own I just feel really strongly that I'd like to find some way of supporting people in the first year while they're completely 'in the deep end'.

The more feedback I get the more I can get an idea of how best to give that support.

Another reminder if you have a few minutes spare to give your thoughts, I've made it easy with this link:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/9CN5678


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