# moving with teenager



## GLOSH (Feb 13, 2011)

Hi has anyone moved out to the toronto area with teenagers,were from ireland hoping to move with our 4 kids age 14,12,10 and 7


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## Auld Yin (Mar 10, 2009)

GLOSH said:


> Hi has anyone moved out to the toronto area with teenagers,were from ireland hoping to move with our 4 kids age 14,12,10 and 7


Why do you ask?


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## GLOSH (Feb 13, 2011)

Auld Yin said:


> Why do you ask?


I ask because its a big move for them and my kids have moved several times in the last 6 years but now one is a teenager and another is not far behind,just thought somebody has been there already just wondering how they faired out,did the kids get on ok


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## MandyB (Jan 14, 2010)

Teenagers are more difficult than younger children as they have their own social circle and are very angry about being moved. I encouraged them to join activities in & out of school that they enjoyed 'at home'. This gave them a common interest with new people - this helped a bit. I have gone through depression and anger with both of my kids. Hang in there - talk to them let them rant and cry - it is hard to do but it is worth it in the end. My son has a new social circle and is happy - having his own vehicle helped with this. My daughter is struggling at the moment but I will help her through. Sorry to give you bad news but it is a transition and it does have its up's & downs.


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## GLOSH (Feb 13, 2011)

mandyb said:


> teenagers are more difficult than younger children as they have their own social circle and are very angry about being moved. I encouraged them to join activities in & out of school that they enjoyed 'at home'. This gave them a common interest with new people - this helped a bit. I have gone through depression and anger with both of my kids. Hang in there - talk to them let them rant and cry - it is hard to do but it is worth it in the end. My son has a new social circle and is happy - having his own vehicle helped with this. My daughter is struggling at the moment but i will help her through. Sorry to give you bad news but it is a transition and it does have its up's & downs.


thanks mandy,we havent made the move yet but hoping to this year.i'm sure there is plenty to do for them in toronto/ontario


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## Auld Yin (Mar 10, 2009)

GLOSH said:


> thanks mandy,we havent made the move yet but hoping to this year.i'm sure there is plenty to do for them in toronto/ontario


As MandyB suggests teenagers can be more problematic than younger kids. From the many posts I've read on the matter it seems that most youngsters adapt quite easily. There is plenty to keep them busy/active in Toronto with and without the friends/schoolmates they develop. Tell your kids not to get to anal when other kids joke about their accents. It's just kids doing what kids do.


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## born_expat (Mar 18, 2011)

MandyB said:


> Teenagers are more difficult than younger children as they have their own social circle and are very angry about being moved. I encouraged them to join activities in & out of school that they enjoyed 'at home'. This gave them a common interest with new people - this helped a bit. I have gone through depression and anger with both of my kids. Hang in there - talk to them let them rant and cry - it is hard to do but it is worth it in the end. My son has a new social circle and is happy - having his own vehicle helped with this. My daughter is struggling at the moment but I will help her through. Sorry to give you bad news but it is a transition and it does have its up's & downs.


It makes you wonder, doesn't it, whether it's altogether a good thing for our kids (relocation)? 

I've ran through that question again and again, and I still think it makes them so much more opened and enlightened (to experience more than one culture), but there's no denying the hard fact that we are uprooting them. And that is bound to cause some real issues, and not just integration ones. 

I know that I (I have moved to the UK from Belgium aged 17, and spent the next 10 years there, then moved to the Netherlands in my late twenties) am the eternal foreigner. I guess I miss having some sense of 'tribal belonging', some strong traditions. 

I would not introduce myself as being from the UK, nor from Belgium (and definitely not from the Netherlands). So I say: am a French-speaking Belgian who partly grew up in the UK. It's a mouthful, but it does the trick. My point is, by moving our kid, we're fragmenting their lives. 

We have a 1.5 y.o. and are planning a move from the Netherlands to Toronto in the next 12 months or so. Sometimes I wonder about the negative effect it it may have: he won't be close to his family, for starters. Still, I just can't face the fact that he would grow up mono-cultural (and that his culture would be Dutch) if we stayed in the Netherlands. 

Anyway, sorry about the monologue, but I figured I'd share the angst and doubts of an expat mother (and former expat brat) ; P 

Oh, and, good luck with the kids! We'd be in Toronto too, so curious to see how you guys get on.


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