# life in dubai for a young expat



## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

21 year old professional soon to moving over to work for a highly regarded real estate company.

I am aware that sex before marriage is illegal as is holding hands with a female or living under the same roof as one who is not your wife or relative.

being English I am also aware of many tourists and expats who have fallen on the wrong side of these laws, many of which were bound to happen such as the couple caught having alcohol fuelled sex on a public beach.

however what I would like to ask is, is it a case that if you are an expat in Dubai must you live a life of celibacy with little or no female contact? if you are discreet is it tolerated?

I don't plan to come over and be a typical brit and get incredibly drunk and have sex in public and then rub it in the face of arab.

what about if you are in a relationship (not marriage) is this tolerated at all, I suppose not as I am aware that cohabitation is illegal.

what is life really like for a young expat, if I come over does it mean that I can under no circumstances get into a relationship with a female sexual or not? will I really be prosecuted for coming into physical contact with a woman such as holding hands or merely hugging? do all expats abide by these rules if so how?! and how big a risk is it if you do engage in sexual relations with a woman? are people caught out easily? is there a blind eye turned toward people who are respectful, private, in a relationship and discreet? would be grateful if someone could share there experiences.


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

also what about dating? for example is it acceptable to have a drink at a bar with a girl or go to a nice restaurant and have a meal together, or could I risk prosecution for this as well?


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

You're in for a nasty (or pleasant, depending on how you view it) shock once you get to Dubai.

I'd be more worried about working for this real estate company. Unless you're talking about a property developer like Emaar none of then have a great reputation. Please tell me you're not on a commission only offer.


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

TallyHo said:


> You're in for a nasty (or pleasant, depending on how you view it) shock once you get to Dubai. I'd be more worried about working for this real estate company. Unless you're talking about a property developer like Emaar none of then have a great reputation. Please tell me you're not on a commission only offer.


Are there any 'highly regarded' real estate companies here?


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## FlexRay (Feb 12, 2013)

Hi Tom,

I would love yo know who you have been speaking to or where you read all your information from.

Dubai is very westernised, not really anything like you think as long as you respect the locals and country you are in and you'll be fine.

Craig


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

FlexRay said:


> Hi Tom, I would love yo know who you have been speaking to or where you read all your information from. Dubai is very westernised, not really anything like you think as long as you respect the locals and country you are in and you'll be fine. Craig


I really am beginning to feel we have a troll here from the nature of his posts.


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## Budw (Oct 14, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> Are there any 'highly regarded' real estate companies here?


That was also my first thought when reading the post


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## Simey (Dec 4, 2012)

FlexRay said:


> Hi Tom, I would love yo know who you have been speaking to or where you read all your information from. Dubai is very westernised, not really anything like you think as long as you respect the locals and country you are in and you'll be fine. Craig


The Daily Mail I expect.


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

TallyHo said:


> You're in for a nasty (or pleasant, depending on how you view it) shock once you get to Dubai.
> 
> I'd be more worried about working for this real estate company. Unless you're talking about a property developer like Emaar none of then have a great reputation. Please tell me you're not on a commission only offer.


how do you mean?


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> Are there any 'highly regarded' real estate companies here?


well being part of the top 5 in the uae i would have thought so yes, why what are your experiences with real estate companies? to be honest estate agents in the uk have a bad reputation but this is all based on hear say and stereotypical views, didnt think dubai would be the same but hay ho


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## BrokenWings (Sep 14, 2013)

its all about bein respectful to their culture and not being over the top.
I know lots of people who are living with partners and not married, lots of one night stands etc ~ just keep out of the public eye


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## vantage (May 10, 2012)

tom121292 said:


> well being part of the top 5 in the uae i would have thought so yes, why what are your experiences with real estate companies? to be honest estate agents in the uk have a bad reputation but this is all based on hear say and stereotypical views, didnt think dubai would be the same but hay ho


British estate agents have a halo and angels wings compared to the clowns out here!!

Top 5? Top 5 what?
Doesn't mean they're any more honest! 

Good luck!!


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## IzzyBella (Mar 11, 2013)

:focus:

Just wait until you get here. I can't wait for your first trip to Barasti on a Thursday/Friday night.


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

vantage said:


> British estate agents have a halo and angels wings compared to the clowns out here!!
> 
> Top 5? Top 5 what?
> Doesn't mean they're any more honest!
> ...


and what do you base that on exactly?


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

IzzyBella said:


> :focus:
> 
> Just wait until you get here. I can't wait for your first trip to Barasti on a Thursday/Friday night.


whats that?


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## IzzyBella (Mar 11, 2013)

tom121292 said:


> whats that?


Your future.


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## vantage (May 10, 2012)

tom121292 said:


> and what do you base that on exactly?


I've bought 4 properties in the UK over the years, and am involved in managing and renting 15 there.
I've met good, bad, and decidedly dishonest agents in the UK.

The utter shambles and sh!tfight involved in renting a property here has to be seen to be believed.
There are PLENTY of threads about this on here.
Those with good things to say about the 2 or 3 minutes of work the average agent does in earning his 5% are very much in the minority.

I spoke to about 8 different agents from 5 companies when I was looking.
Only one spoke any sense, and did what they are actually supposed to.


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

vantage said:


> I've bought 4 properties in the UK over the years, and am involved in managing and renting 15 there.
> I've met good, bad, and decidedly dishonest agents in the UK.
> 
> The utter shambles and sh!tfight involved in renting a property here has to be seen to be believed.
> ...


well that's more or less what people have to say about estate agents over here, the fact is theres good and bad agents wherever you go, unfortunately buying/selling/renting is a stressful process and theres a lot that can go wrong, us agents just tend to take the brunt of it


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

IzzyBella said:


> Your future.


do you mind elaborating slightly?


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## BBmover (Jun 15, 2013)

tom121292 said:


> do you mind elaborating slightly?


Google Barasti which will elaborate.....

To be honest, if you're after a life similar in UK that a young guy may get up to with the ladies then you would be best to be prepared for a different lifestyle here that us not as open or tolerated. While people may tell you it is westernised in Dubai and to 'play safe' that is not necessarily helpful or sound advice. Yes you will read stories and it is a country that we are living in with laws that truly don't warrant being crossed or flaunted.:lock1:

Best of luck with your new prospects but do expect people's opinions of real estate agents to be low here as the system is worse than the UK - don't be fooled by the glitz and glamour!


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## vantage (May 10, 2012)

tom121292 said:


> well that's more or less what people have to say about estate agents over here, the fact is theres good and bad agents wherever you go, unfortunately buying/selling/renting is a stressful process and theres a lot that can go wrong, us agents just tend to take the brunt of it


Ok, think what you want.
I'm speaking from experience of dealing with both.
Good luck!! Really..!


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## blazeaway (Sep 28, 2011)

tom121292 said:


> well being part of the top 5 in the uae i would have thought so yes, why what are your experiences with real estate companies? to be honest estate agents in the uk have a bad reputation but this is all based on hear say and stereotypical views, didnt think dubai would be the same but hay ho


Real estate companies give the UK companies a good name in comparison


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## blazeaway (Sep 28, 2011)

tigertiger said:


> Mate ... just remember. whatever you do, dont do it publicly. Also never drink and drive. Its not taken nicely here.


Agree but am astounded by how many drink and drive - especially after work!


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## FlexRay (Feb 12, 2013)

tom121292 said:


> do you mind elaborating slightly?


Barasti is a bit like the TV program Geordie Shore, does this explain


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## FlexRay (Feb 12, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> I really am beginning to feel we have a troll here from the nature of his posts.


Are you talking about me BedouGirl?


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

FlexRay said:


> Are you talking about me BedouGirl?


Nope - OP. Just the nature of the way he posts and what his posts are about. I may be wrong but that's how they strike me.


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## FlexRay (Feb 12, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> Nope - OP. Just the nature of the way he posts and what his posts are about. I may be wrong but that's how they strike me.


Ah ok, got you! :focus:


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## BrokenWings (Sep 14, 2013)

I used to love Barasti... not so much anymore!


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## fcjb1970 (Apr 30, 2010)

tom121292 said:


> 21 year old professional soon to moving over to work for a highly regarded real estate company.
> 
> I am aware that sex before marriage is illegal as is holding hands with a female or living under the same roof as one who is not your wife or relative.
> 
> ...


You will be completely celibate if you come here. If you touch a woman, even by accident, you risk having your hands cut off as punishment. I won't mention what they cut off if you are found having sex. Police will stop you if you are holding hands and check if you have the proper documents

Security at all residential buildings and hotels will check marriage certificate if you bring a woman with you, so there is no way around this. If the police see a woman and a man in a car they sometimes pull you over to check marriage license. That is why the people have sex on the beach, because it is not possible to do anywhere else.


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## BrokenWings (Sep 14, 2013)

fcjb1970 said:


> You will be completely celibate if you come here. If you touch a woman, even by accident, you risk having your hands cut off as punishment. I won't mention what they cut off if you are found having sex. Police will stop you if you are holding hands and check if you have the proper documents
> 
> Security at all residential buildings and hotels will check marriage certificate if you bring a woman with you, so there is no way around this. If the police see a woman and a man in a car they sometimes pull you over to check marriage license. That is why the people have sex on the beach, because it is not possible to do anywhere else.


reeeeeeeeeeally?!!!!!!
I know LOTS of unmarried couples that have stayed in hotels and never been asked a thing... I've held hands with a guy in public and never been asked for documents and still have both my hands!!!!!


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## vantage (May 10, 2012)

BedouGirl said:


> Nope - OP. Just the nature of the way he posts and what his posts are about. I may be wrong but that's how they strike me.


He is an estate agent, though.
May just be a bit dense.


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## BrokenWings (Sep 14, 2013)

vantage said:


> He is an estate agent, though.
> May just be a bit dense.


oooooh! generalisation! love it!


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

vantage said:


> He is an estate agent, though. May just be a bit dense.


Hahaha! I will watch and wait to see how many more numpty questions he asks


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## Budw (Oct 14, 2013)

BrokenWings said:


> I used to love Barasti... not so much anymore!


Why not? 

I love it during sunset, early evening.


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Budw said:


> Why not? I love it during sunset, early evening.


For those of us who have lived here for many years, we remember Barasti before it became Barnasti. It really was a laid back beach bar and a great chillout place. Now it's just a drink all day pick up joint.


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## Budw (Oct 14, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> For those of us who have lived here for many years, we remember Barasti before it became Barnasti. It really was a laid back beach bar and a great chillout place. Now it's just a drink all day pick up joint.


I have been here over 20 years and know Barasti from day 1. What you mention is true, but is that not the case for everything in Dubai? Everything has changed (including our age  ) and has lost much of its original charisma. 

I still smell that original Barasti late afternoon, early evening.... when the crowds come, I leave


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Budw said:


> I have been here over 20 years and know Barasti from day 1. What you mention is true, but is that not the case for everything in Dubai? Everything has changed (including our age  ) and has lost much of its original charisma. I still smell that original Barasti late afternoon, early evening.... when the crowds come, I leave


I just miss that more basic, less plastic way of life. I liked the 'little' Barasti with just one bar. Everyone sat around the pool and it was just so cool. You can't even recognize that when you go there now. Our other favorite place was the bar almost at the top of JBH. They used to have a happy hour and we would go there on a Friday and buy our rounds in advance and 'hold' them behind the bar so the one-hour happy hour became a three-hour happy hour


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

vantage said:


> Ok, think what you want.
> I'm speaking from experience of dealing with both.
> Good luck!! Really..!


yeah thats absolutely fine i can respect that, im just saying that from an agents point of view were not the money grabbing cowboys people make us out to be, like i said a lot can go wrong in the buying and selling process and because were the middle man as such, buyers/sellers tend to take it out on us


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## mac86 (Mar 14, 2013)

BrokenWings said:


> reeeeeeeeeeally?!!!!!!
> I know LOTS of unmarried couples that have stayed in hotels and never been asked a thing... I've held hands with a guy in public and never been asked for documents and still have both my hands!!!!!


Please tell me this is a sarcastic/tongue in cheek response???

Re Barasti, know what you mean, I used to love going in there and bumping into loads of people I knew who were just looking for a chilled beer, now its full of 'look at me' type people and others that just change the dynamic. Still in there lots though!!


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## Budw (Oct 14, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> I just miss that more basic, less plastic way of life. I liked the 'little' Barasti with just one bar. Everyone sat around the pool and it was just so cool. You can't even recognize that when you go there now.



Yes, that part is gone... that happened when Dubai was a town... Long live the old memories .


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## Budw (Oct 14, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> I just miss that more basic, less plastic way of life. I liked the 'little' Barasti with just one bar. Everyone sat around the pool and it was just so cool. You can't even recognize that when you go there now. Our other favorite place was the bar almost at the top of JBH. They used to have a happy hour and we would go there on a Friday and buy our rounds in advance and 'hold' them behind the bar so the one-hour happy hour became a three-hour happy hour



In the early days we had a kind or a club circle during weekends... starting at the Trade Center apartments club, from there we would go to Ambassador Hotel bar in the souq, followed with Barasti, and ending up in red lion, Metropolitan hotel. If we where still ok , we would hangout at our friends house on Jumeirah beach, and be there untill early morning. The next day this whole thing would repeat itself...


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

fcjb1970 said:


> You will be completely celibate if you come here. If you touch a woman, even by accident, you risk having your hands cut off as punishment. I won't mention what they cut off if you are found having sex. Police will stop you if you are holding hands and check if you have the proper documents
> 
> Security at all residential buildings and hotels will check marriage certificate if you bring a woman with you, so there is no way around this. If the police see a woman and a man in a car they sometimes pull you over to check marriage license. That is why the people have sex on the beach, because it is not possible to do anywhere else.


you taking the ****?


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## tom121292 (Oct 12, 2013)

BedouGirl said:


> Nope - OP. Just the nature of the way he posts and what his posts are about. I may be wrong but that's how they strike me.


no ones forcing you to read them...


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Budw said:


> In the early days we had a kind or a club circle during weekends... starting at the Trade Center apartments club, from there we would go to Ambassador Hotel bar in the souq, followed with Barasti, and ending up in red lion, Metropolitan hotel. If we where still ok , we would hangout at our friends house on Jumeirah beach, and be there untill early morning. The next day this whole thing would repeat itself...


Do you remember the guy who used to play steel guitar at Billy Blues? Brilliant! We'd best stop, we'll get told off for hijacking the thread soon hahahahahahahahaha


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

BedouGirl said:


> Do you remember the guy who used to play steel guitar at Billy Blues? Brilliant! We'd best stop, we'll get told off for hijacking the thread soon hahahahahahahahaha


Quite :focus:

Jo xxx


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## vantage (May 10, 2012)

tom121292 said:


> yeah thats absolutely fine i can respect that, im just saying that from an agents point of view were not the money grabbing cowboys people make us out to be, like i said a lot can go wrong in the buying and selling process and because were the middle man as such, buyers/sellers tend to take it out on us


Understand. I'm just trying to point out that any code of ethics that you might be used to in the UK will be lacking here. 
There are clearly some great, ethical agents here, but they are few and far between, as this forum will testify.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

Speaking of Barnasti, not long ago I was dragged there for drinks and when we left around 9, we got into the taxi queue. A guy in front of us got into a waiting taxi only to bolt out and then a very drunk girl climbed out of the taxi. She approached two other girls who had also been waiting in the queue and proceeded to hug them despite that it was obvious they didn't know her. 

Then this bloke type comes out of nowhere and grabs her and pulls her towards a waiting car. When the bloke wrenches open the rear door it slams into the girl's face and she bends over in pain. But the bloke literally throws her into the car and gets into the drivers' seat and roars off.

His car, by the way, had the name of a property agency on it. In big letterings.


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## blazeaway (Sep 28, 2011)

TallyHo said:


> Speaking of Barnasti, not long ago I was dragged there for drinks and when we left around 9, we got into the taxi queue. A guy in front of us got into a waiting taxi only to bolt out and then a very drunk girl climbed out of the taxi. She approached two other girls who had also been waiting in the queue and proceeded to hug them despite that it was obvious they didn't know her.
> 
> Then this bloke type comes out of nowhere and grabs her and pulls her towards a waiting car. When the bloke wrenches open the rear door it slams into the girl's face and she bends over in pain. But the bloke literally throws her into the car and gets into the drivers' seat and roars off.
> 
> His car, by the way, had the name of a property agency on it. In big letterings.


Sounds a bit scary, not been there yet!


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## lostintrans (Oct 21, 2013)

Be respectful. Simple as.


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## JumirahJack (Sep 4, 2013)

vantage said:


> The utter shambles and sh!tfight involved in renting a property here has to be seen to be believed.
> There are PLENTY of threads about this on here.
> Those with good things to say about the 2 or 3 minutes of work the average agent does in earning his 5% are very much in the minority.
> 
> ...


I have to say this is true some agents just want the money and will tell you a lot of crap but you do get some that are nice.


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## Peterf (Jan 9, 2012)

JumirahJack said:


> I have to say this is true some agents just want the money and will tell you a lot of crap but you do get some that are nice.


Most are nice - just nicely useless.


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