# New to the forum and relatively new to the Philippines



## PogiBaby (Apr 2, 2014)

Hello,

I moved to the Philippines in December with my husband and our almost 2 year old. I'm an American and this is my first time living outside of the country, although I have traveled a bit. We moved here to be closer to my husbands family and to hopefully come out ahead financially. I don't speak Tagalog and am finding the Philippines to be quite lonely. As a white female here, I'm more limited in my freedom to move freely about.. for safety reasons of course. Most days I'm stuck at the house with my son while my husband goes off to deal with business. I think generally I am struggling with culture shock (which I'm actually surprised about since I had no problems when visiting here, but living here is completely different). 

I joined this forum in hopes of making some friends. Also, if anyone has some advice feel free to share!


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## Pedro Reklamo (Mar 6, 2014)

PogiBaby said:


> Hello,
> 
> I moved to the Philippines in December with my husband and our almost 2 year old. I'm an American and this is my first time living outside of the country, although I have traveled a bit. We moved here to be closer to my husbands family and to hopefully come out ahead financially. I don't speak Tagalog and am finding the Philippines to be quite lonely. As a white female here, I'm more limited in my freedom to move freely about.. for safety reasons of course. Most days I'm stuck at the house with my son while my husband goes off to deal with business. I think generally I am struggling with culture shock (which I'm actually surprised about since I had no problems when visiting here, but living here is completely different).
> 
> I joined this forum in hopes of making some friends. Also, if anyone has some advice feel free to share!


I met some Jehovah Witness a few month ago. They are all females. Although I have no desire to join them in their beliefs, I enjoy the banter with them and having conversation in English. They're even helping me find a new place in their subd. 

You did not mention your location. You could look into joining an expat group in your area and get introduced to some of their filipinas. 

It took me about 9 month to adjust to the new culture. It'll happen if you give it time.

You don't need to become fluent in Tagalog. Learning a few words and phrases will break the ice. I've been here 3 years and I can only count to 6. If you have the time, maybe you can enroll in a class.

Having internet and keeping in touch with family back home is not easy to do in real time due to time zones. 

It'll be ok. Just give it time.

Should your name be maganda babae? I think pogi is for the lalaki.


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## PogiBaby (Apr 2, 2014)

Pedro Reklamo said:


> I met some Jehovah Witness a few month ago. They are all females. Although I have no desire to join them in their beliefs, I enjoy the banter with them and having conversation in English. They're even helping me find a new place in their subd.
> 
> You did not mention your location. You could look into joining an expat group in your area and get introduced to some of their filipinas.
> 
> ...


Pogi Baby refers to my baby son. It is the name I chose on another forum when he was just born so I stuck with it.

Some JW ran into me at the mall but they were all Filipina and barely spoke english. They still came and talked to me which was nice. The reason I want to learn the language is that we live at my mother in laws chicken farm. There are always people around but most of them only speak a couple words of English or more but not enough to carry a conversation. There is another mother here that I could connect with if I could speak to her. Also, her son is always playing with mine at my house and he doesn't understand me which can be a problem since he is always getting into things.

I'm living in the Dasmarinas area in Cavite. I go to an international church in Silang but have not connected with anyone there. Which is unusual as in the past my husband and I have made great friends there that have since moved on. I've seen groups of older gentlemen at the SM here and their Filipina wives at another table, but don't really see how I fit in with those dynamics (although at this point I'm not even looking to fit in, just to have friends). I think I need to be more proactive at church and force myself to meet people!

I think my culture shock is due mostly to running a house here. I'm not accustomed to cooking only with a burner or fire (I like to bake and have no oven) and other such things. I feel like I am relearning basic skills and it is just frustrating and my husband is not so patient with me. Overall I like the Philippines, I just miss things I never even realized I appreciated before.


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## Pedro Reklamo (Mar 6, 2014)

The JW I know are all from FL. There's usually a filipina tagging along. I've been to their place which is a very nice,well maintained subd.

I'm down here in Lipa City. I understand the fitting in with the older people. I was part of a group like that once and the filipina asawas would all converse in tagalog and organize the many events. Usually when they speak English it's "dalling, can I have some money". The guys would be talking mundane stuff like gardening which does not interest me. They were all hen pecked. Poor guys. Maybe your husband can go with you to SM so you start to meet them. I only have a couple of English friends that I meet every Saturday afternoon for a beer or 3. That does me fine.

We don't use gas. Only a single induction table top cooker and a microwave. It's inconvenient when there's a brown out. That's when the can opener gets used.

Sometimes I get impatient with my partner as she does not always understand me. I try and bite my tongue and understand her understanding of English is improving. 

One thing about living here makes you realize that you can live quite happily without all the luxurious and conveniences we had back in the states. Once your settled in, the operation of living can be quite smooth.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Welcome*



PogiBaby said:


> Hello,
> 
> I moved to the Philippines in December with my husband and our almost 2 year old. I'm an American and this is my first time living outside of the country, although I have traveled a bit. We moved here to be closer to my husbands family and to hopefully come out ahead financially. I don't speak Tagalog and am finding the Philippines to be quite lonely. As a white female here, I'm more limited in my freedom to move freely about.. for safety reasons of course. Most days I'm stuck at the house with my son while my husband goes off to deal with business. I think generally I am struggling with culture shock (which I'm actually surprised about since I had no problems when visiting here, but living here is completely different).
> 
> I joined this forum in hopes of making some friends. Also, if anyone has some advice feel free to share!


Hi Pogi Baby and welcome to Expat Forum,

The vast majority of the members (on the Philippines page) are male so far as I know. So with you're joining the forum I hope that will finally start to change.

I think one thing that keeps locals (even at your church) from approaching you in friendship is that natural fear of using English here. Most know English but are uncomfortable in using it. That will likely change there in a short amount of time at the church and other places you go often.

Pedro Reklamo said that the culture shock wore off for him quite quickly and he's lucky in that. For most of us, I think, it can take a good two years or so. But it will happen and especially as you make friends.

One place that might be worth a visit to see about friends and activities could be the US Embassy in Ermita, Manila.
If in the area, go inside to the American Citizen Services Office. Once there, ask to speak to someone that IS an American citizen. They just might have ideas on where you might find women's clubs and or other groups. Remember, the ones that are Americans and working here would have the same desires for social activities while away from home.

In any event, you're in for an "interesting" experience in living here. It might get too hot but at least there is never any snow and ice to contend with..



Jet Lag


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## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

pogibaby,

Check it this ebook Amazon.com: CultureShock! Philippines (Culture Shock!) eBook: Alfredo Roces, Grace Roces: Kindle Store It can give you some insight into why they do some things they way that they do.

Also, you might want to look at the American Association of the Philippines, They are based in Manila and have a blood database for RH- factor individuals in the Philippines.

For comfort food items you miss, check out the Welcome to S&R Membership Shopping in Alabang or near the MOA. It's similar to a Costco with a lot of Western products. Annual membership is 700p. Only one family member needs to join to shop.

You are on the opposite side of most Western expats being a female. I am sure that it is doubly trying for you. You also might want to look at the International School community nearest you. Maybe you can find some Western Female teachers working there?


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

Hi PogiBabi.... I know that feeling I live in the province so not much English spoken here, I bought one of those language programs that I use on my computer it has voice recognition, grammar and spelling, pictures...this really helps and there's a book that is right on and I feel you should read "Culture shock" Jon1 has some good information on that one, it can be bought or read online for free, this book is spot on, on how things work or don't work when it comes to meeting, eating and much more.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

jon1 said:


> pogibaby,
> 
> Check it this ebook Amazon.com: CultureShock! Philippines (Culture Shock!) eBook: Alfredo Roces, Grace Roces: Kindle Store It can give you some insight into why they do some things they way that they do.
> 
> ...


Jon1--you sly dog! You've been keeping these sites and places a secret far too long! No wonder we never hear much from you about things and foods you miss from home-Hahaha
Great sites and books. Thanks for posting...


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## leebeme0327 (Apr 13, 2014)

A stove with oven for gas is around 16k peso FYI and for Pedro, I got away from electric cooktop and save almost 1000 a month and cost around 1000 every 3 months.


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## Cebu Citizen (Dec 13, 2013)

Pogi Baby...you have already made the first and most important step in isolating these feelings you are experiencing. Reach out and talk to others in similar situations. Just being able to share your thoughts and express the feelings you deal with on a day to day basis is a relief valve all its own.

I have not yet made the move to the Philippines but will be there this coming November...but one thing is certain, there is a very good quality community of individuals in this ExPat Forum. They will share information and have many times watched my back as I was about to stumble in my attempts to facilitate my move to the Philippines.

Secondly, I would seriously consider speaking to your husband about this so that he is fully aware and can assist in a remedy solution to make you feel not so isolated and alone while trapped in your own house with your son.

This ExPat community might want to consider, (or maybe they already do), organizing outside activities to assist people in your predicament to make an occasional and safe escape.


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## JimnNila143 (Jul 23, 2013)

*Welcome*



PogiBaby said:


> Hello,
> 
> I moved to the Philippines in December with my husband and our almost 2 year old. I'm an American and this is my first time living outside of the country, although I have traveled a bit. We moved here to be closer to my husbands family and to hopefully come out ahead financially. I don't speak Tagalog and am finding the Philippines to be quite lonely. As a white female here, I'm more limited in my freedom to move freely about.. for safety reasons of course. Most days I'm stuck at the house with my son while my husband goes off to deal with business. I think generally I am struggling with culture shock (which I'm actually surprised about since I had no problems when visiting here, but living here is completely different).
> 
> I joined this forum in hopes of making some friends. Also, if anyone has some advice feel free to share!


Hello PogiBaby,

welcome to the EXPAT FORUM, you and your husband don't live very far from my wife and me, less than an hour's ride. It is OK not to be able to speak Tagalog but if you can learn the most important words, that will help you a lot. It is important that you meet and know your neighbors, this way all of you can look out for each other. My wife's family is on Mindanao so we don't often get to fly down to see them but we do visit them. Hopefully we will do this in July 2014. 

The most important words you can learn and you say these to your husband every day is 'Mahal na mahal kita.' = 'I love you so much.' It is also very important that you have a good relationship with your husband's family, especially your in-Laws. 
I am in the same age bracket is my wife's parents, even tho' they are Lolo/Lola, Tatay/Nanay, Tito/Tita, Ninong/Ninang, to me they are Mama and Papa.


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## PogiBaby (Apr 2, 2014)

JimnNila143 said:


> Hello PogiBaby,
> 
> welcome to the EXPAT FORUM, you and your husband don't live very far from my wife and me, less than an hour's ride. It is OK not to be able to speak Tagalog but if you can learn the most important words, that will help you a lot. It is important that you meet and know your neighbors, this way all of you can look out for each other. My wife's family is on Mindanao so we don't often get to fly down to see them but we do visit them. Hopefully we will do this in July 2014.
> 
> ...


Unfortunately for me, my mother in law is crazy. I mean truly crazy! She has never liked me even before she met me, but it has now escalated to the point of last week she told my husband if he doesn't divorce me we have to move out of the house. We currently live in a house she built on the chicken farm we rent from her. So even though we rent this place from her, it is her house. This all came about because my husband asked me if it was okay with me if he went to Tagaytay with all of them (sister, daughter, mother) and left me and our son at the house. Since this was his only day off after many days and he was spending it with us, I told him it was not okay with me. He told his mom that he couldn't go with. She exploded! How DARE I not ALLOW him to go with his own mother. If he can't go with his own mother how will he ever be able to do ANYTHING? What I want to know is why she thinks an almost 40 yr old man needs permission from his wife to do something. I gave him my opinion of the matter and he made a decision based off that information. So I am now banished from the family. I am not allowed to be in her presence. On the days she stops by the farm, my husband has to remove me from the farm while she is her. I am not allowed to visit them at their house in Paranaque and even if an uncle has a party at HIS house, I am not allowed to come since she will be there (this happened last weekend).. although if she is not there I am still welcomed by her family. 

I also know some basic words in Tagalog. I know the people who live here on the farm even though I can't talk to them much. My husband doesn't allow me to meet the other neighbors because he is afraid for my safety when he is not here I think. Although, I feel if we befriended them, they would keep a watch on our place when he is gone so I would be safer. But I think because he doesn't know them he is insecure about them knowing my son and I are here.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

PogiBaby said:


> Unfortunately for me, my mother in law is crazy. I mean truly crazy! She has never liked me even before she met me, but it has now escalated to the point of last week she told my husband if he doesn't divorce me we have to move out of the house. We currently live in a house she built on the chicken farm we rent from her. So even though we rent this place from her, it is her house. This all came about because my husband asked me if it was okay with me if he went to Tagaytay with all of them (sister, daughter, mother) and left me and our son at the house. Since this was his only day off after many days and he was spending it with us, I told him it was not okay with me. He told his mom that he couldn't go with. She exploded! How DARE I not ALLOW him to go with his own mother. If he can't go with his own mother how will he ever be able to do ANYTHING? What I want to know is why she thinks an almost 40 yr old man needs permission from his wife to do something. I gave him my opinion of the matter and he made a decision based off that information. So I am now banished from the family. I am not allowed to be in her presence. On the days she stops by the farm, my husband has to remove me from the farm while she is her. I am not allowed to visit them at their house in Paranaque and even if an uncle has a party at HIS house, I am not allowed to come since she will be there (this happened last weekend).. although if she is not there I am still welcomed by her family.
> 
> I also know some basic words in Tagalog. I know the people who live here on the farm even though I can't talk to them much. My husband doesn't allow me to meet the other neighbors because he is afraid for my safety when he is not here I think. Although, I feel if we befriended them, they would keep a watch on our place when he is gone so I would be safer. But I think because he doesn't know them he is insecure about them knowing my son and I are here.


Hi Pogi,

Sounds like a case for Dr. Phil McGraw the TV councilor in the states. He'd have a field day with this one!

First, there is NO divorce in the Philippines so you're pretty safe in that regard. Honestly what I see here is that his mother is probably the "Ma Kettle" of the family and the matriarch of the clan.

Ma Kettle w/ Pa >>










As such, she has probably ruled the roost AND her son for years. That being the probable case, she resents you having an influence on her son as well as he is spending more time with his wife than his "mommy."
Also, you are likely far more intelligent than she is or likely ever will be. She resents that also and wants to cut you down to size and let you know who is boss.

When some time has passed and you are again on friendly terms with his mother; invite her (only her) to go spend the weekend (if affordable for you) in Baguio or perhaps Subic Bay. Just you two girls go have some fun. You may find that you two have more in common than either of you realize. Doing so could easily win her over and you'll have a new best friend.

Failing that, you and your husband should probably move a great distance from them. Far enough that getting to your location to cause problems would be pretty much unaffordable for them. 

In most cases, being married to a Filipino (male or female) and living here in the country; it works best by having a lot of distance from the Filipino family...



Jet Lag


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## JimnNila143 (Jul 23, 2013)

*Mother in Law Problems*



PogiBaby said:


> Unfortunately for me, my mother in law is crazy. I mean truly crazy! She has never liked me even before she met me, but it has now escalated to the point of last week she told my husband if he doesn't divorce me we have to move out of the house. We currently live in a house she built on the chicken farm we rent from her. So even though we rent this place from her, it is her house. This all came about because my husband asked me if it was okay with me if he went to Tagaytay with all of them (sister, daughter, mother) and left me and our son at the house. Since this was his only day off after many days and he was spending it with us, I told him it was not okay with me. He told his mom that he couldn't go with. She exploded! How DARE I not ALLOW him to go with his own mother. If he can't go with his own mother how will he ever be able to do ANYTHING? What I want to know is why she thinks an almost 40 yr old man needs permission from his wife to do something. I gave him my opinion of the matter and he made a decision based off that information. So I am now banished from the family. I am not allowed to be in her presence. On the days she stops by the farm, my husband has to remove me from the farm while she is her. I am not allowed to visit them at their house in Paranaque and even if an uncle has a party at HIS house, I am not allowed to come since she will be there (this happened last weekend).. although if she is not there I am still welcomed by her family.
> 
> I also know some basic words in Tagalog. I know the people who live here on the farm even though I can't talk to them much. My husband doesn't allow me to meet the other neighbors because he is afraid for my safety when he is not here I think. Although, I feel if we befriended them, they would keep a watch on our place when he is gone so I would be safer. But I think because he doesn't know them he is insecure about them knowing my son and I are here.


This is a situation that could probably a drama award on ABS-CBN TV, [sorry for the sarcasm]. I wish it were the total opposite for you. When I met and married my wife, I had never met her parents face to face until I returned to the Philippines for the 2nd and final time, and this was 5 1/2 years ago. I met, online, first, my future Father in Law, who spoke no English, no Tagalog, only Bisaya, and knowing a little bit about Philippine culture, and how important honor and respect is to the people here, especially when it comes to family, I showed him as much honor and respect as I could, stated my intentions, and asked his permission to marry his daughter. His answer was an immediate 'Yes.' My wife was grinning from ear to ear, and we really didn't have to gain permission because she was 30 years of age. My wife came back online and said, 'Jim, my Papa say me, "Elang, I have a new son, if I were to meet Jim face to face, I would give him a big hug."' Two months later I met my future Mother in Law online, under the same conditions, no English, no Tagalog, only Bisaya. I did the same with her, showing her as much honor and respect, etc., asking her permission. Again, she said "Yes," my wife grinning from ear to ear. The next day my wife came back and said, "Jim, my Mama say me, "Elang, before I die, I want to meet and know the babies you and Jim have together."' 

I was very lucky that my wife's entire family voted 'Thumbs Up" for me. This helped our relationship tremendously. It looks like you are in a no win situation with your Mother in Law, which is bad, I wish that you and her could have met before you and your husband married and things may have been different. As soon as you and your husband are able to do so, find another place and move away, perhaps Cebu, Palawan, or maybe somewhere in the Visayas where it would not be cheap for your Mother in Law to travel. I don't recommend Mindanao. The unpleasantness that your Mother in Law makes for you is very unhealthy for your son and I hope that your husband considers that. You and he met, fell in love, got married, became parents, and you built your lives together for each other and your son. I can understand how you feel because my two sisters never really approved of my wife and me being married. Others in my family did approve and that made me very happy. I wish that my wife could have met my parents, I think they would have liked her very much but it was impossible for that to happen. 

All I can say is that your husband will always be his mother's son and she will always be his mother. I hope that she will grow to accept you and be a good Lola for your son. I wish you the best of luck!

JimnNila


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## PogiBaby (Apr 2, 2014)

Thanks for the good wishes! My husband and I are both looking for opportunities that will take us out of his mother's control. I would have to say she is the antithesis of everything I have learned the Filipino culture is. She is not welcoming to her house, she treats people as her slaves, and flaunts her status. Fortunately for me, because of her "queen" mentality, if we moved away I would never have to see her again. She is of the mind that her children and grandchildren have to come to her, she never goes to them. The only reason she shows up at the farm now is that it is her house and she wants to treat my husband out to nice restaurants, etc.. without me as a slap in the face. What she doesn't realize is that I would happily give up halo halo at Razon's if it means not spending 2 hrs in her presence. So even though they are very wealthy, she would never make a trip to a far province to see us. I have already told my husband that as long as she is going to behave like a child my child will not be in her presence. She does not watch what she says and even though my son is not talking yet, he understands everything! I would not let him play around Arsenic, why would I let him play around his Lola who is equally poisonous? 

Anyway, it looks like we will be going back to the states. The solution my father in law came up with was that he would pay for us to go on "vacation" by buying us a one way ticket. If we could come up with other means to live here then we would stay. My husband is much happier here in the Philippines, but since his mother is pushing for us to leave in the next couple of weeks I don't think we will have time to find our place here. Maybe we can work and save money and try again in a couple years, but independent of his family.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Take Note Of This Post*



PogiBaby said:


> Thanks for the good wishes! My husband and I are both looking for opportunities that will take us out of his mother's control. I would have to say she is the antithesis of everything I have learned the Filipino culture is. She is not welcoming to her house, she treats people as her slaves, and flaunts her status. Fortunately for me, because of her "queen" mentality, if we moved away I would never have to see her again. She is of the mind that her children and grandchildren have to come to her, she never goes to them. The only reason she shows up at the farm now is that it is her house and she wants to treat my husband out to nice restaurants, etc.. without me as a slap in the face. What she doesn't realize is that I would happily give up halo halo at Razon's if it means not spending 2 hrs in her presence. So even though they are very wealthy, she would never make a trip to a far province to see us. I have already told my husband that as long as she is going to behave like a child my child will not be in her presence. She does not watch what she says and even though my son is not talking yet, he understands everything! I would not let him play around Arsenic, why would I let him play around his Lola who is equally poisonous?
> 
> Anyway, it looks like we will be going back to the states. The solution my father in law came up with was that he would pay for us to go on "vacation" by buying us a one way ticket. If we could come up with other means to live here then we would stay. My husband is much happier here in the Philippines, but since his mother is pushing for us to leave in the next couple of weeks I don't think we will have time to find our place here. Maybe we can work and save money and try again in a couple years, but independent of his family.


*PogiBaby, please be sure to check your private messages. There is an employment possibility that I listed there ..


Jet Lag*


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## JimnNila143 (Jul 23, 2013)

*Situations*



PogiBaby said:


> Thanks for the good wishes! My husband and I are both looking for opportunities that will take us out of his mother's control. I would have to say she is the antithesis of everything I have learned the Filipino culture is. She is not welcoming to her house, she treats people as her slaves, and flaunts her status. Fortunately for me, because of her "queen" mentality, if we moved away I would never have to see her again. She is of the mind that her children and grandchildren have to come to her, she never goes to them. The only reason she shows up at the farm now is that it is her house and she wants to treat my husband out to nice restaurants, etc.. without me as a slap in the face. What she doesn't realize is that I would happily give up halo halo at Razon's if it means not spending 2 hrs in her presence. So even though they are very wealthy, she would never make a trip to a far province to see us. I have already told my husband that as long as she is going to behave like a child my child will not be in her presence. She does not watch what she says and even though my son is not talking yet, he understands everything! I would not let him play around Arsenic, why would I let him play around his Lola who is equally poisonous?
> 
> Anyway, it looks like we will be going back to the states. The solution my father in law came up with was that he would pay for us to go on "vacation" by buying us a one way ticket. If we could come up with other means to live here then we would stay. My husband is much happier here in the Philippines, but since his mother is pushing for us to leave in the next couple of weeks I don't think we will have time to find our place here. Maybe we can work and save money and try again in a couple years, but independent of his family.


I understand, completely, how you feel. Hopefully you don't do this, hope you can find another place, maybe on another island. Just don't give up yet, there are other alternatives that can be done to make things work for you, your husband and your son. The three of you are the ones who are important. One of the things that I noticed living in the Philippines, there is definitely a caste system here. It doesn't matter who you are or where you come from or how much money you have, even if you owned 20 hectares of land with a 100,0000,000 peso 2-storey Spanish villa sitting in the middle of it, had maids, housekeepers, a gardener, and a driver, and rode in an armored Hummer with 12 AK-47 carrying guards riding with you for protection, there still are those who will look down their noses at you. 

I hope things work for the 3 of you.


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## esv1226 (Mar 13, 2014)

PogiBaby said:


> Thanks for the good wishes! My husband and I are both looking for opportunities that will take us out of his mother's control. I would have to say she is the antithesis of everything I have learned the Filipino culture is. She is not welcoming to her house, she treats people as her slaves, and flaunts her status. Fortunately for me, because of her "queen" mentality, if we moved away I would never have to see her again. She is of the mind that her children and grandchildren have to come to her, she never goes to them. The only reason she shows up at the farm now is that it is her house and she wants to treat my husband out to nice restaurants, etc.. without me as a slap in the face. What she doesn't realize is that I would happily give up halo halo at Razon's if it means not spending 2 hrs in her presence. So even though they are very wealthy, she would never make a trip to a far province to see us. I have already told my husband that as long as she is going to behave like a child my child will not be in her presence. She does not watch what she says and even though my son is not talking yet, he understands everything! I would not let him play around Arsenic, why would I let him play around his Lola who is equally poisonous?
> 
> Anyway, it looks like we will be going back to the states. The solution my father in law came up with was that he would pay for us to go on "vacation" by buying us a one way ticket. If we could come up with other means to live here then we would stay. My husband is much happier here in the Philippines, but since his mother is pushing for us to leave in the next couple of weeks I don't think we will have time to find our place here. Maybe we can work and save money and try again in a couple years, but independent of his family.


PogiBaby,
I've been thinking about you. I haven't made any comments because I didn't know what to say. 
I feel your father in law is making a good move. The sooner you'll be free of culture shock and in-law problems the better. You have to be happy yourself to keep the three of you together. The family and the country are for "visits" only for you at this stage. Sometime in the future, you might like to come back, definitely for different reasons.


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## CebuStudent (Apr 25, 2014)

PogiBaby said:


> Hello,
> 
> I moved to the Philippines in December with my husband and our almost 2 year old. I'm an American and this is my first time living outside of the country, although I have traveled a bit. We moved here to be closer to my husbands family and to hopefully come out ahead financially. I don't speak Tagalog and am finding the Philippines to be quite lonely. As a white female here, I'm more limited in my freedom to move freely about.. for safety reasons of course. Most days I'm stuck at the house with my son while my husband goes off to deal with business. I think generally I am struggling with culture shock (which I'm actually surprised about since I had no problems when visiting here, but living here is completely different).
> 
> I joined this forum in hopes of making some friends. Also, if anyone has some advice feel free to share!


I have come for short periods since USA military left in 1992. Then moved here permanently with my Filipina wife almost 3 years ago. This time I followed my wife by 3 months to the country. I had almost identical feelings u described above. With time it did not get better. My outlet became school and made great friends. 
Over time I came to believe the problem was that I had become the lowest priority in my wife's life. Her family, friends, our dream home here and everything about the Philippines had become her priority. This left little or no time for me. I had become an unnecessary spare wheel, except for my financial donation to the well being of her, her family, and her life style. Finally, I have concluded whatever true feelings she had for me died upon seeing all her dreams accomplished when she arrive back in country several months before me. I have now surrendered to that fact and have moved out to get on with my own life. Hope this is not your situation. If it is I pray that you can recover what u had by addressing I early.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Electric stoves rule*



leebeme0327 said:


> A stove with oven for gas is around 16k peso FYI and for Pedro, I got away from electric cooktop and save almost 1000 a month and cost around 1000 every 3 months.


I no longer use my two gas stoves but use the new induction stoves sold for around 1000 peso's and for longer cooking I use charcoal, I have saved a lot of money. Gas stoves are dangerous and the elements and hose wear out, I have had enough, technology and newer products rule... also there's locally made products that use unindentured alcohol and the small bottles of alcohol run 25 peso's but last a very long time the stove runs 150 pesos for emergency use, what a bargain.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Electric ovens*



PogiBaby said:


> Pogi Baby refers to my baby son. It is the name I chose on another forum when he was just born so I stuck with it.
> 
> Some JW ran into me at the mall but they were all Filipina and barely spoke english. They still came and talked to me which was nice. The reason I want to learn the language is that we live at my mother in laws chicken farm. There are always people around but most of them only speak a couple words of English or more but not enough to carry a conversation. There is another mother here that I could connect with if I could speak to her. Also, her son is always playing with mine at my house and he doesn't understand me which can be a problem since he is always getting into things.
> 
> ...


There is an electric oven sold but at times it's very hard to find, prices run from 8-10,000 peso's, South Supermarket was selling these but I don't see it for sale anymore, any major appliance store can order these I've been told, it's just a large oven. 

Large crock pots (hard to find) are a plus when making Chili, I've also baked whole chicken's in them surrounded by stuffing or potatoes, juice added, also large hunks of beef, works as an oven and nothing gets burned.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Induction stoves*



leebeme0327 said:


> A stove with oven for gas is around 16k peso FYI and for Pedro, I got away from electric cooktop and save almost 1000 a month and cost around 1000 every 3 months.


I'm not to crazy about electric stove tops heat up time takes forever and heat dissipation even longer but the "Induction" electric stove tops work very well, heat up time is as instant as gas and are so much safer, the only heat left over after cooking is from the steel pot, they also shut off when pot is removed automatically. I also use charcoal outside for larger or longer cooking items such as bone soups, I get that very cheap here from a neighbor.

The price of gas has really climbed and these stoves wear out badly "burners" and hoses after only a couple years, dangers are many, after 20 years of lugging those heavy tanks to and fro or paying the tricycle delivery...last July I stopped using my two gas stove/ovens.

For emergencies I use a locally made gas stove (aluminum) uses Undenatured (ethyl alcohol) alcohol sold at hardware stores for 25 peso's a bottle and the unit stove cost was 150 peso's bought this from a small local vendor at a mall and have also seen them for sale in some specialty grocery store chains, the gas on these can last a long time also but the dangers are the liquid gas so I keep this outside, no hoses or valves to install, no smoke or gas smell, heavy duty units some are small but they do come in larger sizes.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Mother in-law*



PogiBaby said:


> Unfortunately for me, my mother in law is crazy. I mean truly crazy! She has never liked me even before she met me, but it has now escalated to the point of last week she told my husband if he doesn't divorce me we have to move out of the house. We currently live in a house she built on the chicken farm we rent from her. So even though we rent this place from her, it is her house. This all came about because my husband asked me if it was okay with me if he went to Tagaytay with all of them (sister, daughter, mother) and left me and our son at the house. Since this was his only day off after many days and he was spending it with us, I told him it was not okay with me. He told his mom that he couldn't go with. She exploded! How DARE I not ALLOW him to go with his own mother. If he can't go with his own mother how will he ever be able to do ANYTHING? What I want to know is why she thinks an almost 40 yr old man needs permission from his wife to do something. I gave him my opinion of the matter and he made a decision based off that information. So I am now banished from the family. I am not allowed to be in her presence. On the days she stops by the farm, my husband has to remove me from the farm while she is her. I am not allowed to visit them at their house in Paranaque and even if an uncle has a party at HIS house, I am not allowed to come since she will be there (this happened last weekend).. although if she is not there I am still welcomed by her family.
> 
> I also know some basic words in Tagalog. I know the people who live here on the farm even though I can't talk to them much. My husband doesn't allow me to meet the other neighbors because he is afraid for my safety when he is not here I think. Although, I feel if we befriended them, they would keep a watch on our place when he is gone so I would be safer. But I think because he doesn't know them he is insecure about them knowing my son and I are here.


Normal bad behavior here for sure, sorry Pogi baby, hold your ground because I can tell you without a shadow of doubt nobody here gives in and loses their pride so you hold your head up high, take care of your husband and baby, sorry to hear your woes but I to have found out just how important my American/foreigner presence is (nobody cares) from other family members and lately some of the worst behavior has been... swearing, cursing in Tagalog while I'm watering plants or taking out the trash is very common, they will act like they are talking with someone else but they're talking at you, another common trait. 

I tell my wife and when she sings karaoke or just feels like giving it back to them they get it back 4 fold, she doesn't hold anything back and she can outdo any sailor in bad talk, I'm very proud of her and these family members deserve all she can dish back on them, my in-laws are real low life's.

Grandma will suffer for sure if you keep the baby from her and boy does she deserve it, bottom line is living off anyone here is gonna be painful, hopefully a job opportunity and then moving away will solve this problem, people here rarely change, when you do make the move it will make the mother in-law look bad in her friend circles but she sure deserves it, her behavior is unacceptable and sickening, I feel your correct on another post that she is very under schooled but was graced with money.


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## Nyssa87 (Jun 25, 2014)

I wish you lived closer!!! We are also new here, my husband, myself, and our 1 year old little girl live in Angeles City. I think the biggest adjustment for us is not having kids around for our little girl to play with, and finding food, in particular meat, as it is very different to Australia. If you need to chat ever though, feel free to pm me, goodluck!


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Monterey Meat Shop (chain)*



Nyssa87 said:


> I wish you lived closer!!! We are also new here, my husband, myself, and our 1 year old little girl live in Angeles City. I think the biggest adjustment for us is not having kids around for our little girl to play with, and finding food, in particular meat, as it is very different to Australia. If you need to chat ever though, feel free to pm me, goodluck!


I had troubles also finding quality meats at first, the best I've found is the Monterey Meat Shop chains, many of the larger grocery stores sell their meats, some area's have a larger variety of meats, the sausage is really good they call it Longinesa but I like the red colored one and then they also sell a garlic Longinesa sausage. Monterey Meats also will sell ground up meat, seasoned for those Chinese style dumplings forgot the name now but it also can be used for lumpia really nice taste already mixed ready to go, the hamburger is very good, steaks are a little tough though...lol, hard to get around that.

I don't live close to Angeles, there's a chain of Grocery stores that sells Australian Beef and I know the MOA isn't close to you but they have a grocery store in there and last time I shopped they had Australian Beef steaks, it's been two years though. Another grocery store chain called Budget Lane they sell Austalian Beef.

There's a Private chain of grocery stores called S&R (Manila area) I think they're owned by the Puregold grocery chain and have more items, such as sausage and much more they have website and show some of their products online.

Puregold sells many expat/export items as you walk in the front of the store but if you check deeper into the store you won't see those products there, such as large pancake syrup, pancake syrup just add water, larger mustard, several other items.

Hot dogs, I prefer the Frabelle cheese dogs, great taste and normal looking color, there's another brand of hot dogs by Swift that's pretty good also, the others are hard to swallow....ughhh.

Best bacon I've tried is Frabelle smoked, it's hands down the best. Favorite coffee is "Barako" and if you can find the creamer N'Joy, it's my favorite they used to sell but now I can't find it in my area.


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## Cebu Citizen (Dec 13, 2013)

How easy is it to find a good quality "induction type" electric stove? I love cooking with induction heat...it is very safe and economical and practical...but I was not sure they were available in the Philippines.

Also, how difficult is it to find a good quality large sized electric crock pot and what is the approximate price for one?


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Hard to find Appliances*



Cebu Citizen said:


> How easy is it to find a good quality "induction type" electric stove? I love cooking with induction heat...it is very safe and economical and practical...but I was not sure they were available in the Philippines.
> 
> Also, how difficult is it to find a good quality large sized electric crock pot and what is the approximate price for one?


The electric company Meralco recommends the Hanibishi Induction stove (light weight and durable), I've had mine over a year and it's terrific I bought it at the DIY hadware store chain but have seen them also for sale at PureGold. 

I haven't seen any large crock pots but I remember from a previous postings that they sell them in the Clark Freeport Zone, unsure of the size, I had to order mine from Sears overseas and it cost me dearly a Hamilton Beach 7.5 quart with shipping and VAT ran me 8,000 peso's, I wanted a more premium branded product but these items were banned from selling here.

I did find crock pots in some of the Major malls but they were standard at best or small and 5,000 peso's plus. I prefer the crock pot because it doesn't burn, making chili's, whole chickens surrounded by whole potatoes it's an oven for sure, keeps everything tender, easy worry free cooking.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Welcome*



Nyssa87 said:


> I wish you lived closer!!! We are also new here, my husband, myself, and our 1 year old little girl live in Angeles City. I think the biggest adjustment for us is not having kids around for our little girl to play with, and finding food, in particular meat, as it is very different to Australia. If you need to chat ever though, feel free to pm me, goodluck!


Hi Nyssa and welcome to the forum. Much of the food here really is different from out home countries. 
Although not a good part of town, if you drive down Fields Ave, you will find (by asking locals) a place called Barretto's Deli. There you will find much of the food you are use to from home. I love the beef steaks that are usually available there as well as the Aussie sausage and English Bangers. Good stuff to be sure.
Hopefully there will be a way to locate young kids for your little girl to play with. Just be sure it is well supervised and preferably at you own home to be sure all is okay.


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## Cebu Citizen (Dec 13, 2013)

Are the induction stoves you are referring to a small portable unit?

I am hoping to find a complete three or four burner drop in unit to build permanently into my kitchen. They have them here in the US but I have heard that many high quality kitchen items are very hard, if not impossible, to find in the Philippines.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

Induction stove units.... I haven't shopped that much around but have seen double units and the price is expensive but the quality and cooking area looks much larger and better. 

I use the small portable units they run about 1,200-2,000 peso's each. Those larger double units that require mounting run around 60,000 peso's on up but if you have trouble finding a 4 burner, the appliance stores can order them for you, I don't know the cost of those.

The same people that sell those double burner induction stove units also sell the heavy duty steel pans and pots, the price is almost the same as the burner, really pricey, wished I'd brought a few more steel pans, I've been buying cast iron steel flat fry pans, large heavy duty ones, luckily found those, I cook outside normally but these work on the induction stoves.


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## PogiBaby (Apr 2, 2014)

lastyle7 said:


> Actually there is a great butcher market near clark base. I've never been but a
> expat friend who lives in AC told me about it. Only other place would be SM supermarket.
> 
> Actually there are some great restaurants in AC. Mexican - Zapata's Cantina
> ...


Is it REAL mexican food?? I have tried a couple mexican places in the Philippines and they were horrible. I have been absolutely craving some good mexican. I can cook it myself, but I have a hard time finding the right ingredients. If it is good and perhaps some day I am in that area, I will know to eat there!


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## Fort878 (Sep 7, 2013)

*Crazy Mother-In-Law*



PogiBaby said:


> Unfortunately for me, my mother in law is crazy. I mean truly crazy! She has never liked me even before she met me, but it has now escalated to the point of last week she told my husband if he doesn't divorce me we have to move out of the house. We currently live in a house she built on the chicken farm we rent from her. So even though we rent this place from her, it is her house. This all came about because my husband asked me if it was okay with me if he went to Tagaytay with all of them (sister, daughter, mother) and left me and our son at the house. Since this was his only day off after many days and he was spending it with us, I told him it was not okay with me. He told his mom that he couldn't go with. She exploded! How DARE I not ALLOW him to go with his own mother. If he can't go with his own mother how will he ever be able to do ANYTHING? What I want to know is why she thinks an almost 40 yr old man needs permission from his wife to do something. I gave him my opinion of the matter and he made a decision based off that information. So I am now banished from the family. I am not allowed to be in her presence. On the days she stops by the farm, my husband has to remove me from the farm while she is her. I am not allowed to visit them at their house in Paranaque and even if an uncle has a party at HIS house, I am not allowed to come since she will be there (this happened last weekend).. although if she is not there I am still welcomed by her family.
> 
> I also know some basic words in Tagalog. I know the people who live here on the farm even though I can't talk to them much. My husband doesn't allow me to meet the other neighbors because he is afraid for my safety when he is not here I think. Although, I feel if we befriended them, they would keep a watch on our place when he is gone so I would be safer. But I think because he doesn't know them he is insecure about them knowing my son and I are here.


Hello PogiBaby,

I am also new here and mainly use it to prepare myself for my move back (retirement). It is helpful finding out how people are adjusting to the life and culture in the Philippines, local product recommendations like the induction stove, crockpots, etc. etc. This thread just came up on the radar again and I happen to scroll back to how it started, read your stories…I feel for you.

I am Filipina, born and raised in Manila, living in Canada since I was 18. Thirty years ago, I came to Canada with my family but everyone else had a hard time adjusting (What? No maids? No driver? All these Canadian taxes, rules and regulations?) and went back. I stayed and continued with my education, then career then marriage to a Canadian. Your mother in law sounds exactly like my father, the patriarch who controls and employs my siblings and relatives with his many Filipino businesses. He is a tyrant and my brothers and sisters let him walk all over them because he is the boss, he has the money, the power...and of course culturally, Filipino families stick together and respect their elders. 

My parents tried the same tactics when I was still dating but luckily, I was living independently from them…I had my own business, house, etc. In the beginning they would berate my husband (then boyfriend), saying I can do better with much stronger language that some Filipinos like to use. I decided to stand up for myself and with as much calm and confidence I can muster, I told them that I love him, he is important to me, I will marry him against their wishes and if they do not stop their shinnanigans, I don’t want them to call me, or visit me anymore. I told them I love them deeply and I know they care about me but they will lose me as a daughter if they don’t accept him. I was not bluffing, I really meant it and luckily, they turned around. I realize that the consequences could have been different and honestly, I wasn’t angry, I was simply fed up and finally felt ok to give up my parents because they were being bullies and I did not want them to get away with manipulation, disrespectful and unreasonable behavior.

How are things with you lately? Regardless of whether you stay in PI or go back to USA, I hope you and your husband find courage to stop this insanity and it might mean cutting that “umbilical cord” together. Good luck and please PM me if you like to talk further.


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## Nyssa87 (Jun 25, 2014)

*Thank you!*



mcalleyboy said:


> I had troubles also finding quality meats at first, the best I've found is the Monterey Meat Shop chains, many of the larger grocery stores sell their meats, some area's have a larger variety of meats, the sausage is really good they call it Longinesa but I like the red colored one and then they also sell a garlic Longinesa sausage. Monterey Meats also will sell ground up meat, seasoned for those Chinese style dumplings forgot the name now but it also can be used for lumpia really nice taste already mixed ready to go, the hamburger is very good, steaks are a little tough though...lol, hard to get around that.
> 
> I don't live close to Angeles, there's a chain of Grocery stores that sells Australian Beef and I know the MOA isn't close to you but they have a grocery store in there and last time I shopped they had Australian Beef steaks, it's been two years though. Another grocery store chain called Budget Lane they sell Austalian Beef.
> 
> ...


Thanks heaps for all that info!!! I will def try all those things. We have tried Monterays, it seems to be the best of the lot, but we have found that the stock quality varies every time we go, but I guess you get that! But the main thing that put me off was we went to the monterays in Marquee Mall and purchased some beef mince, I cooked it and it was FULL of hardened steel pieces. Needless to say we haven't been back there :/


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## Nyssa87 (Jun 25, 2014)

Jet Lag said:


> Hi Nyssa and welcome to the forum. Much of the food here really is different from out home countries.
> Although not a good part of town, if you drive down Fields Ave, you will find (by asking locals) a place called Barretto's Deli. There you will find much of the food you are use to from home. I love the beef steaks that are usually available there as well as the Aussie sausage and English Bangers. Good stuff to be sure.
> Hopefully there will be a way to locate young kids for your little girl to play with. Just be sure it is well supervised and preferably at you own home to be sure all is okay.


Is that Bretto's?


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

Nyssa87 said:


> Is that Bretto's?


Yes, that's the place. Usually they have some pretty good stuff. Prices are a bit high but still acceptable..


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

PogiBaby said:


> Is it REAL mexican food?? I have tried a couple mexican places in the Philippines and they were horrible. I have been absolutely craving some good mexican. I can cook it myself, but I have a hard time finding the right ingredients. If it is good and perhaps some day I am in that area, I will know to eat there!


Tequila Reef at Clark is also excellent for Mexican. Great margaritas too.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Hungry now for Mexican food*



cvgtpc1 said:


> Tequila Reef at Clark is also excellent for Mexican. Great margaritas too.


Nice to hear several other expats that are hungry for Mexican food to, gonna go out today and buy taco meat for taco's, can't take it anymore, there's nothing that comes close to Mexican food in my area, "Swarma burritoes" not! I need the black beans also but those are sold at a certain PureGold grocery but not the PureGold grocery in my area.

Last night on channel 9 the "Midnight Express" food taster hit a Mexican or Porta Rican spot in Manila, a close up of the food looked real depressing and lacking, I know I can make better Mexican food dish but then again I worked for 4 years in a Mexican restaurant and lived next Tijuana for 7 years.

If anyone needs the recipe for and area's to find for ingredients of:
1. Taco Meat
2. Spanish rice
3. Bean burritos
4. Burrito's (cheaper than the ones in the grocery)

Later on today I might try to find a way to post the cooking instructions, ect.. on a recipe share spot if we have one if not I'll try to create one. :decision:


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## Nyssa87 (Jun 25, 2014)

Jet Lag said:


> Yes, that's the place. Usually they have some pretty good stuff. Prices are a bit high but still acceptable..


Amazingly enough I found out yesterday that they actualy have an online store and deliver to! so no need to venture to fields haha Ur right tho, it is quite expensive, but good for a treat


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## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

mcalleyboy said:


> Nice to hear several other expats that are hungry for Mexican food to, gonna go out today and buy taco meat for taco's, can't take it anymore, there's nothing that comes close to Mexican food in my area, "Swarma burritoes" not! I need the black beans also but those are sold at a certain PureGold grocery but not the PureGold grocery in my area.
> 
> Last night on channel 9 the "Midnight Express" food taster hit a Mexican or Porta Rican spot in Manila, a close up of the food looked real depressing and lacking, I know I can make better Mexican food dish but then again I worked for 4 years in a Mexican restaurant and lived next Tijuana for 7 years.
> 
> ...


I have been finding the Black beans in can and dried in bag quite routinely now at my Puregold in the Freeport. Maybe you should try a Robinson's or one of the grocery stores in the larger malls (SM, etc.)?


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## Cebu Citizen (Dec 13, 2013)

Mcalleyboy...that would be awesome if you can share this info...or a few secret recipes...

Traveling all around the world these past few years with our Nonprofit Humanitarian work has enabled me to sample many different foods from many different countries.

After relocating to the Philippines in a few months, I will certainly enjoy trying many local Philippine dishes...but it is always nice to be able to have some old favorites now and then.

If you have success with sharing your recipes, I have a few that I will add...a killer chili recipe and some old southern BBQ favorites...


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## JimnNila143 (Jul 23, 2013)

You know, it is a shame that we can't grow Mesquite here, the Mesquite bush has to have a dry climate to grow. Beef and chicken strips as well as green peppers and big onions grilled over a Mesquite fire makes the best Fajitas in the world. OMG I remember eating at Chili's Restaurant and they made the best Fajitas. I remember the Fajita meal ran about $20US but it was so good.

Fajita, Beef Strips/Chicken Strips, grilled over Mesquite, on a large soft Tortilla bread with Spanish Rice, Mexican Beans, Guacamole, Shredded Cheese, Tomatoes and Sour Cream, was the best thing you could eat at any Mexican Restaurant.


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## JimnNila143 (Jul 23, 2013)

I would love some beef or chicken Fajitas, they are outstanding.


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## Cebu Citizen (Dec 13, 2013)

You are right...there is nothing better than good authentic Mexican style food cook over a Mesquite fire...or good 'ol Southern BBQ over a fire fueled with Hickory!

Living here in Tennessee has given me a great admiration and pleasure for really great BBQ...ribs, chicken, steak...ummmm!


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## PogiBaby (Apr 2, 2014)

mcalleyboy said:


> Nice to hear several other expats that are hungry for Mexican food to, gonna go out today and buy taco meat for taco's, can't take it anymore, there's nothing that comes close to Mexican food in my area, "Swarma burritoes" not! I need the black beans also but those are sold at a certain PureGold grocery but not the PureGold grocery in my area.
> 
> Last night on channel 9 the "Midnight Express" food taster hit a Mexican or Porta Rican spot in Manila, a close up of the food looked real depressing and lacking, I know I can make better Mexican food dish but then again I worked for 4 years in a Mexican restaurant and lived next Tijuana for 7 years.
> 
> ...


Where do you find tortillas? Or even taco shells? I can't even find regular tortilla chips although I know they must exist because I see them at the nacho stands in the mall. I am pretty good at cooking mexican food, but I would love to see your recipes. Especially for the spanish rice. I use a great recipe but it requires baking the rice. I tried it on the stove top but the texture was not as fluffy. Also do you make refried beans? I figured I could buy some dried beans at the market and just make my own seasoned beans or refried.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Taco and burrito's shells*



PogiBaby said:


> Where do you find tortillas? Or even taco shells? I can't even find regular tortilla chips although I know they must exist because I see them at the nacho stands in the mall. I am pretty good at cooking mexican food, but I would love to see your recipes. Especially for the spanish rice. I use a great recipe but it requires baking the rice. I tried it on the stove top but the texture was not as fluffy. Also do you make refried beans? I figured I could buy some dried beans at the market and just make my own seasoned beans or refried.


Puregold sells the taco shells in the ice cream area above...LOL, South Supermarket chains sell the soft shell burrito's in the dairy section, some of the larger grocery stores will have burrito shells next to the imported half baked bread, Goodwill grocery chain sells the taco shells in the fresh vegetable section and the burrito's when in stock are next to the butter.

I can save money on the burrito shells by buying fresh large lumpia wrappers in the market, also these wrappers can be fried in the shape of a taco but need to be doubled up.

I know how to make excellent re-fried beans, and tricks for the Spanish fried rice,forgot to add that, also a real quick but large quantity hot sauce, more of a mild sauce used by my Mom and similar to the Mexican restaurant I worked at.

Okay gonna work on the recipe's and post them or send out.


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## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

JimnNila143 said:


> You know, it is a shame that we can't grow Mesquite here, the Mesquite bush has to have a dry climate to grow. Beef and chicken strips as well as green peppers and big onions grilled over a Mesquite fire makes the best Fajitas in the world. OMG I remember eating at Chili's Restaurant and they made the best Fajitas. I remember the Fajita meal ran about $20US but it was so good.
> 
> Fajita, Beef Strips/Chicken Strips, grilled over Mesquite, on a large soft Tortilla bread with Spanish Rice, Mexican Beans, Guacamole, Shredded Cheese, Tomatoes and Sour Cream, was the best thing you could eat at any Mexican Restaurant.


Jim,

I ran across these at the local Puregold here in the Freeport. First time I have seen the Mesquite flavored briquettes. A bag cost $16. Not cheap but is good for every now and then.

If they are here someone else should be carrying them in Metro Manila.

Jon


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## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

Nyssa87 said:


> Amazingly enough I found out yesterday that they actualy have an online store and deliver to! so no need to venture to fields haha Ur right tho, it is quite expensive, but good for a treat


Nyssa,

I found these here in the Freeport at our Puregold. They are a local brand "All Fresh Seafood & Sausage" based out of Taguig City (Manila). These hot links are cheaper (55p for 2) than the Johnsville brand that I have been buying at S&R (300p for 5). They are slightly sweet but still spicy. They also make a sweet sausage and pork bratwurst (I haven't tried these yet).

I don't know if your Puregold's there in Angeles carry them. PUREGOLD Price Club Inc.: Most Customer-Oriented Hypermart offering a One-Stop Shopping convenience and Best Value to Customers - Store Locator

Jon


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## AlanDRrpcv (Jul 9, 2014)

I am not female, nor am I married, but if it is any consolation, as a single male here, just starting out in attempting to make the Philippines my new home, I find that Manila can be a very lonely place as well. In fact, my very first attempted post to this website was an invitation to other expats in Manila to contact me to get together on occasion for a drink or coffee. <Snip> I think this is a very important issue which the Expatforum could be instrumental in helping to improve.


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## alen054 (Jul 10, 2014)

I understand how you feel pogibaby. I have lived in the philippines all my life but have worked in Dubai for about 6 years and have adapted to that standard but as I was having my first baby boy I was opted to go back here in the Philippines and stay at my parents house being the best solution for now. My partner is british and we tried to apply for a visa but got denied so will have to try again. We also tried to settle elsewhere but its very expensive applying visa for all three of us. In short, for now the best is to stay here but as I have been abroad for a long time working with mnc particulary advertising being my last company I feel like a complete failure for having to live in this uncomfy situation, well our house is better than where you are living as you mentioned on this thread because I have provided this house with equipments which Ive sent from abroad like automatic washing machine, microwave, aircondition, and we got a stove, no chickens but we have a dog, and i live in bacoor cavite, but I am not use to this life because I also cant take the pollution out on the road and walk on crammed malls, even with church I also couldnt fit in coz I feel like something is wrong with it probly thats how I got on this forum. So far, I am also just at home and keeping myself busy occupied just being on the computer educating myself most of the times coz this is also the same thing I use to do while abroad, I read a lot.. but if I can save money, that's the only time I can go see places, I mean like coron, boracay, or travel international like vietnam, malaysia, singapore, hongkong, any nearby places to relax and relieve your boredome, there are cheap fare to as cheap as 1 php promo in cebu pacific hehe... anyway, wish you all the best pogibaby and cheer up to both of us.. there are nice people here am sure.. Its a struggle for me as almost all my friends are now working abroad but I have experienced living here and there are a lot of really good people here who are far better than the ones you've met outside... people here are true to heart and they do care and will laugh to death for simple jokes... and its all we need to get moving for now


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## vagabond54 (Sep 11, 2014)

I have spent over 4 years living in Brazil, Colombia, Ecuador, the Dominican Republic, and now I have been in the Philippines ( Cebu City ) for 11 months. First, the USA does NOT want to prepare its citizens to live outside the US. So we are definitely behind other countries in living in a foreign land. Just use common sense when moving around, and you will be safe in most situations. Your husband should have prepared you better for life in his country... As far as the day to day life details, just keep and open min and relax. Do the best you can. You will learn to adapt fairly quickly if you want to. It sounds like you are living in a Province area, so you will not find much English spoken there. I THINK most people understand English, but don't speak it much. A big reason for this is embarrassment. Many from other countries are ashamed to try English if they can't speak it well. Encouraging them to speak ANY English will help to get them over this fear. Likewise, it will help if you also learn a little Tagalog. Good luck.


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## vagabond54 (Sep 11, 2014)

Try good, Iowa, Angus beef! No state in the USA has better meat. I have eaten in virtually every state of the USA, Iowa has the best beef. In Santa Marta, Colombia, I had a fantastic filet mignon . Other countries I lived in only dream of such good meat.


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## oldntired (Aug 19, 2014)

Hi pogi boy,

sorry to hear about your predicament with your in-laws. I know of an American lady married to a Filipino Chinese who also had a real hard time with her inlaws. The culture about family could not be more different between an US American and Filipino. I am neither, but that means I can see things more objectively. Filipinos are very matriarchal, and the role of each relative in the family is pretty much set in stone. the matron holds high authority that cannot be challenged. especially if she has been given financial control of the family assets. She can be very loving to those who submit to her authority, and everything would be wonderful. The opposite is probably hell. Too bad your husband does not seem to be able to give your family financial independence, but the emotional bond between a Filipino son and his mother can be super strong. 

If I may speculate, I think your mother in law does not really want to see her son and grandson move away, but she has placed herself into a corner and cannot get out. IF your husband can find some work and achieve financial independence here, I am sure it will not take long for the ice to melt sufficiently to allow you and mother in law to have a meal together once a year.

If not for this family problem, living in the Philippines as a foreigner need not be toolonely. There is a huge American community here, such as the American Women's Club, and the US Embassy seems to be very supportive of social activities of their citizens here.


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## sgtm7 (Mar 30, 2014)

vagabond54 said:


> I have spent over 4 years living in Brazil, Colombia, Ecuador, the Dominican Republic, and now I have been in the Philippines ( Cebu City ) for 11 months. First, the USA does NOT want to prepare its citizens to live outside the US. So we are definitely behind other countries in living in a foreign land. Just use common sense when moving around, and you will be safe in most situations. Your husband should have prepared you better for life in his country... As far as the day to day life details, just keep and open min and relax. Do the best you can. You will learn to adapt fairly quickly if you want to. It sounds like you are living in a Province area, so you will not find much English spoken there. I THINK most people understand English, but don't speak it much. A big reason for this is embarrassment. Many from other countries are ashamed to try English if they can't speak it well. Encouraging them to speak ANY English will help to get them over this fear. Likewise, it will help if you also learn a little Tagalog. Good luck.


It depends on your demographic on whether you are prepared to live outside the USA. As second generation military(retired), I am used to living in other countries, and adapting to wherever I am at. 

You are so right about people not speaking English because they are embarrassed if they don't speak it well. I find this especially true in Asian countries. I suppose it is the whole "face" thing. 

Yes, if you learn some Tagalog it might help. Should be easy enough to find a class. You can make it a game with them. You speak Tagalog to them, and they speak English to you. You can correct each other, and you can all learn together. 

Don't know how good OP is with languages, but I found Tagalog a hard language to pick up. I took a 20 hour course over a two month period. There were more advanced courses available after the first one, but I quit after the first 20 hour course. Then again, I was living in an area were virtually everyone speaks English, so I didn't really have the "need". I suppose if I was living away from the city, I would have been inclined to keep at it.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

sgtm7 said:


> It depends on your demographic on whether you are prepared to live outside the USA. As second generation military(retired), I am used to living in other countries, and adapting to wherever I am at.
> 
> You are so right about people not speaking English because they are embarrassed if they don't speak it well. I find this especially true in Asian countries. I suppose it is the whole "face" thing.
> 
> ...


Tagalog isnt bad,,waray is worse........maupay??????


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## Eaglepapa (Feb 16, 2014)

This topic is really something special. I didn't heard about it before! European girl married with Asian guy!???
Usually white girls are not interested in Asians. That's really shocking news! Usually white girls like Arabic, African or Indian race guys. <Snip>


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

ambot! the only waray word one needs to know lol


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

cvgtpc1 said:


> ambot! the only waray word one needs to know lol


But i Do know!!!!


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

lefties43332 said:


> But i Do know!!!!


For all of you,ambot is same as d ko alam.....it means i dont know in waray.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

lefties43332 said:


> For all of you,ambot is same as d ko alam.....it means i dont know in waray.


Hmmm- I was wondering about both. Hahaha..


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

Jet Lag said:


> Hmmm- I was wondering about both. Hahaha..


So many dialects jet.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

lefties43332 said:


> So many dialects jet.


Yea there really is. I like the fact that I never learned any. That way in my house, unless it's in English, its just background noise and I don't have to tune in:decision::lol::lol:


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## Cebu Citizen (Dec 13, 2013)

Jet Lag said:


> Yea there really is. I like the fact that I never learned any. That way in my house, unless it's in English, its just background noise and I don't have to tune in:decision::lol::lol:


Lefties and Jet Lag are absolutely correct...so many dialects that even the local population has extreme difficulties in following conversations...

The thing that is interesting to me is why do the Filipino people even bother with all these different dialects? A very large portion of the population speaks English anyway, (they may not be totally comfortable speaking it but they DO know it), English is taught in ALL the high schools, (my fiancées family tells me that they were ALL required to take English in order to graduate), it is reported by the Philippine Government that over 98% of all signs, advertisements and businesses are in English, all Philippine Government offices are operated in English and have English signs posted everywhere, all of the big universities and colleges offer most every course topic and class in English, most university professors and instructors are required to speak English, many Bachelor's and Master's programs require a certain number of courses taught in English, the Makati Financial District Authority requires that every business has an English speaking staff to accommodate the world finance market, newspapers are printed in English...etc., etc., etc...the list goes on and on and on...

Typically a country or a particular population will have very serious and valid reasons for maintaining a little know or little spoken language but in the case of the Philippines, there seems to be no reason for it except that far off in the Provinces it is still widely spoken but because of the 7,109 islands in the Philippine Island Archipelago and no way for the poorer population to afford to travel from island to island, it has created an enormous number of unintelligible dialects that will continue to divide and separate even more as time goes on...making it more and more difficult for anyone to be able to communicate effectively throughout the entire country in one unified language.

I am friends with a very large and extremely poor family from Cebu, (more than 116 people), and their entire family...NO ONE...has ever been off that one single island EVER! They have never traveled to Manila, they have never traveled to a neighboring island...nothing...and they only know that culture and the dialect native to Cebu, (Cebuano, and even this changes from one end of the island to another)...and this family openly admits that they cannot follow the Tagalog language when spoken by someone from another island, (Sometimes they just nod and agree to save face, even though they did not understand what was said to them). BUT they "ALL" speak English quite well...from the Matriarchal Grandmother all the way down to the smallest children.

You cannot even use the translator programs on the internet because these programs cannot effectively translate the Tagalog language or keep up with the multitude of dialects out there. And the Rosetta Stone Tagalog Program, (one of the most highly regarded in the World), my fiancée has told me numerous times that it is "wrong" and the words and sentence structure are NOT correct.

So, if the world cannot understand the language, and the local people cannot adequately follow all the dialects, and the entire country seems to be operating in English mode...what is the purpose of keeping the Tagalog language alive?

Now keep in mind...I am NOT against keeping traditional cultures and languages alive and I am NOT against the Tagalog language and I am NOT suggesting they abolish it...I am only raising the question...What is its purpose if in fact it is so limited in its available, practical and functional use?

According to the World Anthropological Society, the ONLY purpose for ANY language, (written or spoken), is so that people can communicate with each other...and in that regard, the Tagalog Language fails miserably.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

Cebu Citizen said:


> Lefties and Jet Lag are absolutely correct...so many dialects that even the local population has extreme difficulties in following conversations...
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I was stationed TAD Subic bay 1984-87 and they spoke more English back in that time period then they do now.

If the general population can't communicate effectively "English language" then they can't fill many jobs or travel abroad for work, keeps the pay wages down and the rich and shameless get richer.

The same group of people that kicked us out (US bases) are the same people gunning for indigenous language, these same legislators are easy to spot they want to add more red tape on foreigner marriage, double standards on exiting visa requirements and odd but in-forced rules on relationships, another area is birth control or lack of it (those that can not afford it...wow many), hidden wealth and no transparency for government officials... dang looks like Tagalog is here to stay so I'd better get back to my Tagalog DVD learning session as no one in my area speaks English, there also isn't a single foreigner that lives in my area.

If these same double standards were applied in the US, to legislators and Philippine citizens, I feel there would be an outcry of fowl by fellow Americans... sadly no one here will get on the same band wagon, after all what the kano crying about now. :confused2:


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

mcalleyboy said:


> I was stationed TAD Subic bay 1984-87 and they spoke more English back in that time period then they do now.


I was at Clark the same period and believe the same thing. I've noticed 50+ in age speak English more and most girls know it if they're not shy about it.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

cvgtpc1 said:


> I was at Clark the same period and believe the same thing. I've noticed 50+ in age speak English more and most girls know it if they're not shy about it.


Best english speakers 70 plus


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

lefties43332 said:


> Best english speakers 70 plus


Especially out in the provinces.


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## overmyer (Aug 15, 2013)

cvgtpc1 said:


> Especially out in the provinces.


Always depends where! Bacolod City, Dumegette, Iloilo City (and I'm sure others) have a higher average edu level and thus more English speakers! Although they will probably be "shy" about conversing with you in English.


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## magsasaja (Jan 31, 2014)

mcalleyboy said:


> there also isn't a single foreigner that lives in my area.


You live in Santa Cruz, Laguna?

Plenty of foreigners there and in the surrounding towns. Some of us have businesses with our wife's and have lived in the area for over 20 years. 
I was there yesterday buying a spare part for my mower in Motorworld.


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*English speaking*



magsasaja said:


> You live in Santa Cruz, Laguna?
> 
> Plenty of foreigners there and in the surrounding towns. Some of us have businesses with our wife's and have lived in the area for over 20 years.
> I was there yesterday buying a spare part for my mower in Motorworld.


That's true there are English speaking and expats living in this area but my actual spot is not posted it's a real dead zone for English language, most of the people here are implants and workers from the "Bicol region".

Interesting, your the first person in my area that I've spoken to on the expat board, I've bought several items at the Sta Cruz Laguna Motor world.

I do occasionally see expats from the UK, most seem to be from Australia, at the LTO office, most have motorcycles, so you must know how badly it works here and at some of the market spots and grocery stores, was envited to a weekly outing at one of the bars I think on Wed nights just south of Sta Cruz, won't mention the spot but if your familiar with it please PM me in private, I'd like to attend, my trouble is that I live about 40 minutes from that location. :yo: 

My internet connection isn't working, so many downed and damaged lines in my area, so I'm not sure how long it's going to take for fixing, currently using a mom and pop spot in town, my response will be slow for a while.

Main trouble is that most expats won't make an effort or won't talk to one another, shoot they don't even make eye contact. I started visiting family here in 1993 and retired 2003, have been here since 2010, so I'm almost positive we've ran into one another, I drive a very old poorly red painted 1988 Mitsubishi Lancer 4 door.


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## UltraFJ40 (May 20, 2014)

I just caught wind of this thread. I was hoping to see that pogibaby had made some progress in meeting a few others that would make her feel more welcome. 

Hopefully she'll give us an update.

For what it's worth, there isn't much English going on where my wife's from. She's from western Pangasinan just about an hour south of the 100 Islands on the coast.

In fact, there's not many people around there at all.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

UltraFJ40 said:


> I just caught wind of this thread. I was hoping to see that pogibaby had made some progress in meeting a few others that would make her feel more welcome.
> 
> Hopefully she'll give us an update.
> 
> ...


Nice


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

UltraFJ40 said:


> I just caught wind of this thread. I was hoping to see that pogibaby had made some progress in meeting a few others that would make her feel more welcome.
> 
> Hopefully she'll give us an update.
> 
> ...


That's a nice area though. With or without many people speaking English it's a good place to call home. Not too far from Baguio and now with the new highway, not far from the malls etc in Angeles or even Subic for that matter.


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## UltraFJ40 (May 20, 2014)

It is very nice. We get a slight ocean breeze and most often during a typhoon we get the weakest quadrant.

As far as the people go, they are very community minded and much happier living together in harmony. Typical small town feel I suppose that's a 30 minute ride to the nearest traffic light.

More or less 2.5 hours to Subic or Baguio.


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## PogiBaby (Apr 2, 2014)

*Update*



UltraFJ40 said:


> I just caught wind of this thread. I was hoping to see that pogibaby had made some progress in meeting a few others that would make her feel more welcome.
> 
> Hopefully she'll give us an update.
> 
> ...


I ended up moving to Baguio. I didn't meet other expats there, but did end up with a Filipina friend. We ran out of money, though, and so my husband, son and I moved back to the States at the beginning of Sept to look for work again. I had tried to make some money teaching Koreans, but it was not a stable source of income. My husband was offered a job when we first arrived in Baguio, but he turned it down because his mom begged him to go back to the farm. So he went... and she proceeded to pay him only when she felt like it. I think that if my husband had made better decisions and stayed away from his mom we could have made it work there. For now we will save up money and hopefully make a go of it again some day.. and maybe by then my husband will be able to say no to his mom... or maybe she won't be around anymore. Either way, I will not be going back if it puts me in the same position.


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## UltraFJ40 (May 20, 2014)

PogiBaby said:


> I ended up moving to Baguio. I didn't meet other expats there, but did end up with a Filipina friend. We ran out of money, though, and so my husband, son and I moved back to the States at the beginning of Sept to look for work again. I had tried to make some money teaching Koreans, but it was not a stable source of income. My husband was offered a job when we first arrived in Baguio, but he turned it down because his mom begged him to go back to the farm. So he went... and she proceeded to pay him only when she felt like it. I think that if my husband had made better decisions and stayed away from his mom we could have made it work there. For now we will save up money and hopefully make a go of it again some day.. and maybe by then my husband will be able to say no to his mom... or maybe she won't be around anymore. Either way, I will not be going back if it puts me in the same position.


I am sorry to hear that you ended up moving back but I want to wish you luck in rebuilding another plan of attack.



Best wishes.


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

PogiBaby said:


> I ended up moving to Baguio. I didn't meet other expats there, but did end up with a Filipina friend. We ran out of money, though, and so my husband, son and I moved back to the States at the beginning of Sept to look for work again. I had tried to make some money teaching Koreans, but it was not a stable source of income. My husband was offered a job when we first arrived in Baguio, but he turned it down because his mom begged him to go back to the farm. So he went... and she proceeded to pay him only when she felt like it. I think that if my husband had made better decisions and stayed away from his mom we could have made it work there. For now we will save up money and hopefully make a go of it again some day.. and maybe by then my husband will be able to say no to his mom... or maybe she won't be around anymore. Either way, I will not be going back if it puts me in the same position.


Thanks for the update to your story! I'm sure some were wondering since you don't fit the usual poster mold on the Philippines page.


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## esv1226 (Mar 13, 2014)

Good luck, good health, God bless you Pogibaby.


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