# Visiting online friend in Spain



## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

I was very fortunate to be awarded a scholarship which allows me to study Spanish in Malaga for 2 weeks this summer. Malaga is in southern Spain. Coincidentally, I have an online friend whom I've been chatting with for 2 years who resides in a town in Toledo in central Spain. His town is 2 hours drive away from Madrid. When I found out that I was selected for the Malaga Spanish course, I immediately told my online friend about it. I also told him how my parents encouraged me to visit to other places in Spain when I'm there. When I asked him whether he's interested in meeting me irl, he said yes as this will be the first time he meets an online friend irl.

I know that I will be staying at Malaga from 3-16 July. I haven't met with the other people were also selected for the Malaga trip, so I am not sure whether we will visit other parts of Spain before or after staying at Malaga. We will probably spend 10 days travelling around the other parts of Spain (and maybe even Portugal). If I cannot group with the other people who are going to Spain, my father will travel with me to Spain instead.

The issue is that I cannot contact my Spanish online friend during these couple of months. The last time I contacted him was at the end of March. He is very busy these days as he is preparing for his baccalaureate and he is pretty much invisible and un-contactable. Earlier today, I sent him a brief message on Skype telling him that I will be in Malaga from 3-16 July (I didn't tell him the exact date before) but I don't know if he will see that. I think his holiday will start around mid-June but I am not 100% sure.

How can I plan to meet my online friend irl in Madrid or Toledo? This is difficult as heck as I cannot contact him. It looks like I have to have everything planned before knowing whether he will be free on that day. Things would suck if he was busy on the day I visited Madrid or Toledo.

Please reply - thanks. I come from another continent, and this is probably a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to meet my online friend irl!

Additional note: How can I explain to my parents that I want to meet an online friend in Spain? I am 19 but I am a girl and I understand why they will be worried about that.


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## Trubrit (Nov 24, 2010)

As a 65 year old guy with 2 grown up children all I can say to you is to concentrate on your studies and forget meeting this friend. Toledo and Madrid are probably 5 or 6 hours drive from Malaga so you must take this into account if you do decide to meet. Stay safe by meeting your friend online and that way you will be happy and so will your parents!! You will probably do as you please so I wish you well and enjoy this wonderful country.


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

I said "We will probably spend 10 days travelling around the other parts of Spain (and maybe even Portugal)" in my previous post. It's silly to fly all the way to Spain from another continent only to visit Malaga!

I just had a meeting with the other people selected for the trip. Eight people are interested in flying to Spain a week before Malaga and we will probably behind for another week. We will probably visit Madrid before Malaga.

However, everyone in my group happens to be a girl. Is it dangerous for us to meet my online friend (he's a guy)? It would've feel "safer" if there was a guy in our group but it looks like girls are more interested in travelling to Spain. We will probably meet in a public location with a lot of people as a group such as a restaurany and maybe we will even visit some free tourist locations together.


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

Additional note: I managed to contact my online friend and he is free during this period so that issue is resolved.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

searchlight22 said:


> Additional note: I managed to contact my online friend and he is free during this period so that issue is resolved.


From my experience with my daughter who went on several exchange/study trips in other countries, they were pretty closely supervised & she wouldn't have been able to travel to another part of the country to meet anyone - especially alone...........


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

xabiachica said:


> From my experience with my daughter who went on several exchange/study trips in other ****ries, they were pretty closely supervised & she wouldn't have been able to travel to another part of the country to meet anyone - especially alone...........


Depends on the age. I just presumed that this person was a university student, but you may be right, in which case there's no way students can go trotting off on their own around the country - usually


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

searchlight22 said:


> However, everyone in my group happens to be a girl. Is it dangerous for us to meet my online friend (he's a guy)? It would've feel "safer" if there was a guy in our group but it looks like girls are more interested in travelling to Spain. We will probably meet in a public location with a lot of people as a group such as a restaurany and maybe we will even visit some free tourist locations together.


I think it's really sad that just because a person is male you are afraid of meeting him. It's especially sad at such a young age that you have this fear. I've had male and female friends my whole life. Most males are trustworthy; most females are trustworthy. It's especially sad that you're afraid when you'll be meeting him in a public place with other people in your group. Are you afraid of being raped in a public place in front of everyone?! Or what are you afraid of??


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## Madliz (Feb 4, 2011)

Sadly, at least once a month, a girl in the UK goes missing after meeting someone she 'got to know' over the internet. Sometimes they are found safe and well, but not always. One must make every effort to be safe. Sadly, as so often in life, an evil minority spoils things for the rest of us. Better safe than sorry, as they say.


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## kdsb (May 3, 2015)

My daughter is only 3 so we haven't approached this yet, but I would be fine with her (or one of my sons) meeting someone they had communicated with on the internet in a public place as long as they have common sense. Since you are posting this question and thinking this through, I am guessing you have some common sense! It seems highly unlikely to me that a person would spend two years chatting with someone on another continent in the hopes that one day they visit and then can do something awful.


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Depends on the age. I just presumed that this person was a university student, but you may be right, in which case there's no way students can go trotting off on their own around the country - usually


I am a university student. My uni will pay for all my expenses during the Malaga trip EXCEPT for the flight tickets. We are responsible for arranging our own flight arrangements (yeah, I know that's a bit odd). We can hence arrive in Spain before Malaga and/or stay behind afterwards.

I recently had a meeting with the other people selected for the Malaga trip. Everyone is interested in visiting other parts of Spain. Half of the people are even interested in travelling around eastern Europe (eg. Russia, Ukraine, Hungary, Czech Republic, etc.) before coming to Spain.

For goodness sake, even the teacher responsible for the Malaga trip encouraged us to use this opportunity to travel to around other parts of Spain and she was she was happy to give us information regarding hostels and train tickets in Spain (she advised us to visit Madrid before taking a train to Malaga).


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

searchlight22 said:


> I am a university student. My uni will pay for all my expenses during the Malaga trip EXCEPT for the flight tickets. We are responsible for arranging our own flight arrangements (yeah, I know that's a bit odd). We can hence arrive in Spain before Malaga and/or stay behind afterwards.
> 
> I recently had a meeting with the other people selected for the Malaga trip. Everyone is interested in visiting other parts of Spain. Half of the people are even interested in travelling around eastern Europe (eg. Russia, Ukraine, Hungary, Czech Republic, etc.) before coming to Spain.
> 
> For goodness sake, even the teacher responsible for the Malaga trip encouraged us to use this opportunity to travel to around other parts of Spain and she was she was happy to give us information regarding hostels and train tickets in Spain (she advised us to visit Madrid before taking a train to Malaga).


I think it was lack of information in your first post, and the "innocence" of your questions that led people to believe your were a minor.
Indeed, take advantage of your time here to travel, but as others have said, do not meet this online friend alone, make sure your friends and your tutor know where you are, and don't go to any other place with this person.
Enjoy your time here, study hard and have some fun too.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Madliz said:


> Sadly, at least once a month, a girl in the UK goes missing after meeting someone she 'got to know' over the internet. Sometimes they are found safe and well, but not always. One must make every effort to be safe. Sadly, as so often in life, an evil minority spoils things for the rest of us. Better safe than sorry, as they say.


That's 12 people out of 63 million. I don't think that's even statistically significant, especially when there is a child reported missing every three minutes in the UK, according to this site: Missing Kids UK - Official list of missing children in the United Kingdom If you exclude males as friends in your life, you exclude about 50% of the population just on account of the wrong type of genitals. To my estimation, that's a statistically significant shallow judgement of 50% of the population.


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## Madliz (Feb 4, 2011)

AllHeart said:


> That's 12 people out of 63 million. I don't think that's even statistically significant, especially when there is a child reported missing every three minutes in the UK, according to this site: Missing Kids UK - Official list of missing children in the United Kingdom If you exclude males as friends in your life, you exclude about 50% of the population just on account of the wrong type of genitals. To my estimation, that's a statistically significant shallow judgement of 50% of the population.


I am talking young women/girls only, and not all the population of the UK are girls.  
It is rare, but it does happen. All I'm suggesting is that people try and ensure they stay safe. The ones who encounter trouble after meeting online contacts have been deceived by false photographs and other information. The OP came across as possibly naive, it is hard to know from a first post, but a reminder to be aware and take all possible steps to stay safe is only sensible in my view. It is hardly a call to 'exclude all males as friends in your life'.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Madliz said:


> I am talking young women/girls only, and not all the population of the UK are girls.
> It is rare, but it does happen. All I'm suggesting is that people try and ensure they stay safe. The ones who encounter trouble after meeting online contacts have been deceived by false photographs and other information. The OP came across as possibly naive, it is hard to know from a first post, but a reminder to be aware and take all possible steps to stay safe is only sensible in my view. It is hardly a call to 'exclude all males as friends in your life'.


It's still a very insignificant amount of missing girls (and boys) if there are only 12 missing a year from online encounters, when there is a boy or girl missing every three minutes in the UK. And, yes, the population is 50% female and 50% male in the UK. Girls are females and boys are males - 50/50.

And the population of the internet is also likely about 50/50 males/females. So it's an even larger population than the UK on the internet. If you're going to exclude all males as friends from the internet, that's 50% that you'll never meet.

Of course there is deception IRL too, not just the internet, and of course you have to be careful. But Searchlight is saying the only reason she wouldn't meet this online friend is because he's male, which is very indeed very naive. 

It's sad to see most people chirping in here in this thread to feed Searchlight's fear of males - especially when there are many males on this forum. What kind of message is that sending to the males on this forum? That we fear them simply because they are males and we are cautious about them simply because they are males? I've met a lot of really, really scary females IRL and on the net.


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

Well I am 19 and I know better than to visit my online friend's house alone. 

I never said that I didn't want to meet my online friend BECAUSE he's a guy. If he was a girl, I would be somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of meeting each other irl as well as I've never met an online friend irl before.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

searchlight22 said:


> I never said that I didn't want to meet my online friend BECAUSE he's a guy. If he was a girl, I would be somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of meeting each other irl as well as I've never met an online friend irl before.


Really?! This is your second post in this thread - all in reference to the fact that he's male and that is your fear:



searchlight22 said:


> However, everyone in my group happens to be a girl. Is it dangerous for us to meet my online friend (he's a guy)? It would've feel "safer" if there was a guy in our group but it looks like girls are more interested in travelling to Spain.


I think it's a pretty silly question to begin with as to asking us whether or not you should meet this person. We don't know you, or him, or what kind of correspondence you've had online, or what your parents' house rules are, or what the group is like that you're going with to Spain. So how can we have even a slightest clue to answer you? Ask yourself, your friends, the group you're coming with and your parents.

One thing I know for sure is that if you base your decisions on fears, you will miss a lot of life. But you wouldn't be coming to Spain in the first place if you based your decisions on fears. One of my friends in Canada cancelled her trip here to Spain because of the bombings in France. There will always be something to be afraid of.


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## Lolito (Aug 25, 2012)

What irl means??


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## 213979 (Apr 11, 2013)

Lolito said:


> What irl means??


En persona.

IRL - In Real Life

Sent from my SM-G531F using Tapatalk


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Lolito said:


> What irl means??



IRL is an acronym for "in real life," which means off the internet.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

elenetxu said:


> En persona.
> 
> IRL - In Real Life
> 
> Sent from my SM-G531F using Tapatalk


Don't mean to step on your toes here....we were posting at the same time.


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## Lolito (Aug 25, 2012)

OdmIdkt !!!





means 'Oh dear me, I didn't know that!'


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Lolito said:


> OdmIdkt !!!
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Neywatavss?

Meaning ''Not even you, who are typically a very smart Spaniard?!"


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

searchlight22 said:


> Half of the people are even interested in travelling around eastern Europe (eg. Russia, Ukraine, Hungary, Czech Republic, etc.) before coming to Spain.


Pedantic but important point...Czech Republic is CENTRAL Europe....Prague is west of Vienna, as I was once sharply told during a radio debate by Otto Von Habsburg MEP


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

AllHeart said:


> Really?! This is your second post in this thread - all in reference to the fact that he's male and that is your fear:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Well, it is statistically more likely for a guy to sexually harass a girl than a girl to sexually harass a girl.

I'm not exactly scared of meeting my friend irl. Maybe I am just a bit uncomfortable with this idea as I've never met an online friend before irl.

Should I tell my parents about my plans to meet him? My mom is already super worried about me travelling to Spain without an adult supervising us.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

searchlight22 said:


> Well, it is statistically more likely for a guy to sexually harass a girl than a girl to sexually harass a girl.
> 
> I'm not exactly scared of meeting my friend irl. Maybe I am just a bit uncomfortable with this idea as I've never met an online friend before irl.
> 
> Should I tell my parents about my plans to meet him? My mom is already super worried about me travelling to Spain without an adult supervising us.


I don't see a problem at all with meeting him, because you said this in your second post:



searchlight22 said:


> We will probably meet in a public location with a lot of people as a group such as a restaurany and maybe we will even visit some free tourist locations together.


He's not going to sexually assault or harass you in this circumstance. Even is he just tries, you can easily protect yourself. When I meet online friends IRL for the first time, I meet them in public places too - both male and female. I've never had a problem with either males or females. Just think they're just people in cyberspace, and most people are trustworthy.

I don't know your parents or your relationship with them, so I can't advise you for sure. But I know that I didn't tell my parents everything, and many teenagers don't. What they don't know can't hurt them.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

searchlight22 said:


> Well, it is statistically more likely for a guy to sexually harass a girl than a girl to sexually harass a girl.
> 
> I'm not exactly scared of meeting my friend irl. Maybe I am just a bit uncomfortable with this idea as I've never met an online friend before irl.
> 
> *Should I tell my parents about my plans to meet him? My mom is already super worried about me travelling to Spain without an adult supervising us*.


This & comments like this are what worry me.

A European 19 year old would be considered to be & would certainly consider themselves to be an adult. It sounds as if you have had a very sheltered upbringing & consider yourself to be a child still, in some way.

They also wouldn't be on a forum asking a group of complete strangers in a country they have never visited whether it's wise to meet another complete stranger.

They would already know that yes, they can do it & that in all likelihood it will be fine - but they would also know exactly what precautions you need to take when doing so.

*Yes, meet in a public place & stay in public places. But more importantly make sure that someone knows exactly where you are going & exactly who you are meeting.
*
That applies whether you are 19 or 99.


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

AllHeart said:


> I don't see a problem at all with meeting him, because you said this in your second post:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


My parents are kind of overprotective. My mom is already worried about me travelling to Spain without an adult supervising us. They had a strict "no online friends" rule when I was young.

The people who I will be travelling with aren't exactly my "friends". I've only met them once before booking our flight tickets. Three of us will arrive in Madrid and stay there for a few days before the other people. Should I tell them that I want to meet an _online_ friend in Spain?


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

xabiachica said:


> This & comments like this are what worry me.
> 
> A European 19 year old would be considered to be & would certainly consider themselves to be an adult. It sounds as if you have had a very sheltered upbringing & consider yourself to be a child still, in some way.
> 
> ...


Maybe the culture here is somewhat different. Yeah I consider myself to have had a very sheltered upbringing and yeah I still think of myself as young. I want older people to give me some advice. 

Is it ok if I meet my online friend at the airport and give him the time and date as to when we will arrive at the airport?

Also, I've only had a video call with him once on Skype. He didn't really say much at that time when I was skyping him that time (we didn't really communicate verbally as my parents were at home and I didn't want my parents to know that I was talking to someone online). Surely that's really him, right? He has sent me some photos of him before.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

My own feelings are that you seem to have too many doubts about this yourself, and that would lead me to say, don't do it.
Perhaps you should consider what your goals are in coming to Spain. I presume that one of your main goals is to improve your language skills by studying in a country where Spanish is the mother tongue.
Are you also keen to do something that you probably wouldn't do in your own country ie meet an online friend?
Your parents are supporting you on this trip and I suppose are paying for it too. If they wouldn't approve of you meeting your online buddy then maybe you shouldn't do it. Your culture is very different from ours. Can we really advise you what to do? It may be a better idea to ask people close to you in your own environment than a bunch of strangers on an internet forum, or do you just want to find someone who says "Great, go ahead and have fun?"
Ask yourself what you want to do and what the possible consequences are. Then make your *own* decision.


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

Pesky Wesky said:


> My own feelings are that you seem to have too many doubts about this yourself, and that would lead me to say, don't do it.
> Perhaps you should consider what your goals are in coming to Spain. I presume that one of your main goals is to improve your language skills by studying in a country where Spanish is the mother tongue.
> Are you also keen to do something that you probably wouldn't do in your own country ie meet an online friend?
> Your parents are supporting you on this trip and I suppose are paying for it too. If they wouldn't approve of you meeting your online buddy then maybe you shouldn't do it. Your culture is very different from ours. Can we really advise you what to do? It may be a better idea to ask people close to you in your own environment than a bunch of strangers on an internet forum, or do you just want to find someone who says "Great, go ahead and have fun?"
> Ask yourself what you want to do and what the possible consequences are. Then make your *own* decision.


That is my main goal. In fact, I've worked hard to learn Spanish. It's not like my main reason to fly to Spain is to meet my online friend.

I would probably be more comfortable with meeting an online friend in my own city. I was with my friend when she did this in a public area.

My parents are paying for my trip but my trip is also heavily subsidised by my uni. I volunteered to pay for the trip with my own money but my parents said that they will pay for it instead.

I talked to an older friend of mine and she said that she would meet my online friend if she was me as this is probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and she said that it's interesting how we are keeping in touch for so long. I asked a girl who is coming along to Malaga if she is ok with accompanying me when I meet my online friend irl and she said that she is totally fine with it as long as my online friend is ok with it as well.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

searchlight22 said:


> That is my main goal. In fact, I've worked hard to learn Spanish. It's not like my main reason to fly to Spain is to meet my online friend.
> 
> I would probably be more comfortable with meeting an online friend in my own city. I was with my friend when she did this in a public area.
> 
> ...


Sounds like you've made your mind up, so you now you can move on and concentrate on what to put in your suitcase.


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

Update:

1. Our Spain group has broken up into two smaller groups. Me and two other girls will probably visit Toledo and other places in central and southern Spain without the other people (we will arrive in Spain before the other people so we have a lot of time to explore other places in Spain). Should I tell them that I am interested in meeting my online friend? The girl who said that she is ok with meeting my online friend is not a part of our group of three and I don't know how the other two girls will react and how their parents will react if they tell their parents. Should I just tell them that I want to meet a friend instead and make up a story regarding how we met?

2. I contacted my online friend and he said that he is interested in bringing his older brother along to meet us. He said that his brother will probably want to come along as he wants to practice his English. He tells me a lot about his brother but I've never talked to him before. Is that ok i.e. safe?

3. My friend and his brother lives in Toledo. He said that his brother knows a lot about Toledo and he can show us around tourist attractions. Is that ok i.e. safe? I don't want to be harrased/harmed when walking through a quiet street or path.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

searchlight22 said:


> Update:
> 
> 1. Our Spain group has broken up into two smaller groups. Me and two other girls will probably visit Toledo and other places in central and southern Spain without the other people (we will arrive in Spain before the other people so we have a lot of time to explore other places in Spain). Should I tell them that I am interested in meeting my online friend? The girl who said that she is ok with meeting my online friend is not a part of our group of three and I don't know how the other two girls will react and how their parents will react if they tell their parents. Should I just tell them that I want to meet a friend instead and make up a story regarding how we met?
> 
> ...


You have to make your own decisions about this. 

My gut feeling, & as others have said, is that with all the doubts you seem to have, you aren't entirely comfortable with meeting him.

If you decide to, at the very least make sure someone knows exactly where you are going & stay in a public place. Even better, take someone with you.

Two years ago next month, a 15 year old girl went missing from my home town. Yes I know you're 19 but you don't seem to be as mature or street-wise as my 16 year old daughter.

She has never been found, although evidence suggests that she went to meet someone - a 'boyfriend' - who she had only previously met online. Evidence further suggests that she was a victim of some kind of slave trade. 

so although it's rare - it does happen.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

searchlight22 said:


> Update:
> 
> 1. Our Spain group has broken up into two smaller groups. Me and two other girls will probably visit Toledo and other places in central and southern Spain without the other people (we will arrive in Spain before the other people so we have a lot of time to explore other places in Spain). Should I tell them that I am interested in meeting my online friend? The girl who said that she is ok with meeting my online friend is not a part of our group of three and I don't know how the other two girls will react and how their parents will react if they tell their parents. Should I just tell them that I want to meet a friend instead and make up a story regarding how we met?
> 
> ...


I think everything has been said, and I repeat


> Your culture is very different from ours. Can we really advise you what to do? It may be a better idea to ask people close to you in your own environment than a bunch of strangers on an internet forum, or do you just want to find someone who says "Great, go ahead and have fun?"
> Ask yourself what you want to do and what the possible consequences are. Then make your *own* decision.


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Four pages devoted to this.....


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

mrypg9 said:


> Four pages devoted to this.....


I know!
Mind you, 213 in the Brexit thread, 200 of which seem to be people saying that who knows what the situation will be in the future:noidea:...


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I know!
> Mind you, 213 in the Brexit thread, 200 of which seem to be people saying that who knows what the situation will be in the future:noidea:...


Uncertainty hovers over both issues...


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## Claire la richarde (Jul 6, 2009)

My two cents... If you went alone, you'd be a girl on your own meeting two men you don't know. I wouldn't have done that in my teens or twenties, and I was pretty fearless - my friends sometimes thought me foolhardy.

The most I would have done, and would be happy with my daughter to do, is agree to meet for a coffee in a public place in Toledo, with the two girls from the trip, having told them the truth about getting acquainted online. If the girls and the online friend and his brother (?) all agree to the meet-up for coffee, decide then about any further interaction. If the guys offer to show you round, only go if the other two girls are happy to go as well.


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## Artoum (Apr 19, 2016)

I'm not going to comment on if it's safe or not: I don't know enough about anyone involved. 

Here are my rules for meeting someone online: 

1) ALWAYS in a public&neutral place. A bar, coffeeshop, cafe, boulevard etc. Somewhere with multiple exits&a group of public people who are just there. 

2) they never know my entrance and exit times. EVER. No flights, buses, trains etc. 

3) arrive half an hour early and familiarise myself with the area; keep an eye out for people who don't look like they quite fit in, or are looking for someone.

4) prearranged calls&texts with a hidden code. My friends/family will know exactly where I am, the time I expect to leave, and a prearranged signal if things are going well or if things are going badly.

5) STICK TO THE PLAN. turn up, meet them, coffee&maybe a day wandering around, but if you tell your friends you're getting the 8pm train you get on the 8pm train and let them know. 

6) PER SEC. Personal Security; don't let the person know too much. Things like how much cash you have/earn, your plans for arriving etc etc. Tell them a slightly different story. 

Paranoid, maybe, but something I was taught ten years ago on a military forum of how to keep yourself safe. And I think they knew what they were talking about.

An example:

I was meeting an online friend in my hometown. I'd known the guy online for years. As it was, we arranged to meet at 7pm in the local pub; I arrived at six, spent half an hour wandering around the area, then another half hour in the pub looking for anything untoward. I'd told him I expect to be there are quarter to seven, not 6. I left at around midnight ish, but had let everyone I had told know that things had been going well and kept them regularly updated(toilet breaks are great for this ****).


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

xabiachica said:


> You have to make your own decisions about this.
> 
> My gut feeling, & as others have said, is that with all the doubts you seem to have, you aren't entirely comfortable with meeting him.
> 
> ...


Well I'm not comfortable as I've never done this before and as you have said, terrible incidents are rare do happen.

I do not plan to meet my online friend alone. That seems a bit risky. I will try to do that with the two other girls.

What makes you think I am not that street-wise?


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

Claire la richarde said:


> My two cents... If you went alone, you'd be a girl on your own meeting two men you don't know. I wouldn't have done that in my teens or twenties, and I was pretty fearless - my friends sometimes thought me foolhardy.
> 
> The most I would have done, and would be happy with my daughter to do, is agree to meet for a coffee in a public place in Toledo, with the two girls from the trip, having told them the truth about getting acquainted online. If the girls and the online friend and his brother (?) all agree to the meet-up for coffee, decide then about any further interaction. If the guys offer to show you round, only go if the other two girls are happy to go as well.


I will not meet them alone as well, certainly not in a foreign country. 
What you have suggested makes sense. The chances of something bad happening when meeting in a public area with other people accompanying me doesn't seem that high. How can I convince the two other girls to accompany me though?


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## searchlight22 (Apr 10, 2016)

Artoum said:


> I'm not going to comment on if it's safe or not: I don't know enough about anyone involved.
> 
> Here are my rules for meeting someone online:
> 
> ...


Thank you! Unfortunately, I think my online friend can figure out that I am well off simply because I told him that I've been to Europe several times (well, back that I didn't have any plans to meet him irl)

Is it necessary for me to constantly text another person that I am safe if two other people are accompanying me? Also, should I tell my parents that I want to meet an online friend? My mom is already freaking out about me travelling to Spain without adult supervision and I don't think she will allow that, but then again, it is probably not that unsafe if we meet in a public area and bring two other people along with me.


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## Artoum (Apr 19, 2016)

I would say that in that case, I wouldn't message someone constantly. However, I would let people know what is going on and stick to the other rules; they might know somewhere that's great but "it's just down this alley" etc etc. Also, I would be extremely leery of meeting someone I've only spoken to over Skype once. Snapchat is an excellent alternative as it's very hard to fake, as is whatsapp&whatsapp calls, and I've also used kik messenger to establish solid communications. Having him meet you at the airport is a HORRIFIC risk and one I would not take; as is having him meet you off the train or bus.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

This thread has been closed temporarily as there are safety issues involved


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