# "Durable" Relationship? (Less than 2 years)



## redflowers (Mar 21, 2013)

Hi all - first, wow, this is an amazing forum! So helpful. I've searched the threads but can't seem to find exactly what I'm looking for - thanks for any help you can provide!

*Background Story*

So I "met" a great guy on eHarmony last July, and we've been talking and emailing and skyping non-stop since then. I recently visited him for a month and we talked about marriage and are ready to start our lives together. So we are engaged! I'm 33 and he's 43, so we aren't spring chickens as they say. 

He was born in Germany but has worked as a doctor in the UK for the last 12 years. I've tried with no luck despite my credentials to get a job to obtain a work visa over the past 4 months - I talked to recruiters and they said, "it's a tough market, no one will hire you and get a visa on your behalf right now." 

*EEA Option*

So I read through this forum and learned more about the EEA option. Great!

I know our relationship is "durable" but obviously it doesn't fit the timing requirements. However, I have heard of people getting accepted after a year, and on their website it stated:


> If you are applying as the EEA national's unmarried partner, you should provide evidence that you have been living with them in a relationship akin to marriage for more than 2 years. *It is unlikely *that we would consider a shorter relationship as 'durable', in accordance with the EEA Regulations.


"It is unlikely" isn't a "no" in my book, so I have hope considering our age, the way we have met and communicated with the intent to live together, I have hope. Don't understand how we would have lived together before in this requirement? 

*My Question*

*I'm assuming it's not worth applying now?* (Does it hurt my chances to apply more than once if first denied?) 

*If not, is it worth trying it in August after the 1 year mark? Does it really matter? *

*Any suggestions for the types of evidence I can provide that may soften their hearts for this "older" couple? * 


Thank you!!


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## AmyD (Jan 12, 2013)

I'm not super familiar with EEA requirements, but I know in general, that it is unwise to substitute your own judgement for the UKBA. Therefore, "it is unlikely" does mean "no", even if it isn't spelled out. First rule of applying for any visa: follow the rules exactly as they're written.

As your fiancé is settled in the UK, why don't you apply for a fiancé visa?


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## redflowers (Mar 21, 2013)

Shucks. Well, I didn't want to because the way I understood it was we had to have the intent to marry within a 6 month period.


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## AmyD (Jan 12, 2013)

Yes, that's true. You have to prove your intent to marry in six months.

You simply don't meet the unmarried partners requirements, and unfortunately you still won't meet them on August 1 because you must live together for two years for that visa.

The only other possibility is if you'd like to move to the UK to be a student, but you'd have to pay overseas tuition. So your options are limited. If you can't get a visa in your own right through study or work, you have to come in as a partner, and that means either plan to marry in six months, or marry now, then apply for a spouse visa.


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## redflowers (Mar 21, 2013)

Ok thank you both.


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

Your age won't be considered as an exceptional reason to waive the strict 2-year cohabitation rule. It must be something to do with your jobs or compassionate (such as having to care for a sick relative). Inability to secure a work visa for UK doesn't count.


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## barneysmum (Apr 30, 2008)

I know I'm hijacking another post but it sounds similar to my position at the moment. 

I don't understand how you have to have lived together for 2 years - because if one of you can't enter the country in the first place, how can you possibly live together?! 

And redflowers - I'm older than you and trying to be with my partner who I also met online. Seems like an uphill struggle


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## 2farapart (Aug 18, 2011)

barneysmum said:


> I know I'm hijacking another post but it sounds similar to my position at the moment.
> 
> I don't understand how you have to have lived together for 2 years - because if one of you can't enter the country in the first place, how can you possibly live together?!
> 
> And redflowers - I'm older than you and trying to be with my partner who I also met online. Seems like an uphill struggle


The reality is that there are only visas available to people who already intend to be together permanently beyond all doubt from that point on. As far as UKBA is concerned, unmarried-partners are applicants who are living together 'as if married' (ie they've already decided they definitely do want to be together from that point on but are exercising the free choice not to mark that permanency with a legal certificate). A relationship that seems to be going well but you're not 100% sure you want to go ahead with marriage just yet, or maybe a bit later, is not a relationship that fits in with the 'as if married' umbrella. UKBA will only allow permanent partners to settle (as far as it is possible for the applicant or UKBA to judge, of course).

This means either living together in another country, or living a long-distance relationship until such a time that you are sure you DO wish to marry. A lot of us went through that so we know well how that's not easy, but until you're sure you want to marry, it's the only option unless there are avenues for work or study open to you which would then enable you to live together and make more permanent choices later.


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## stormystorms (Feb 19, 2013)

It's a tough world this world of visas and immigration systems.


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## brian2012 (Jan 15, 2012)

barneysmum said:


> I don't understand how you have to have lived together for 2 years - because if one of you can't enter the country in the first place, how can you possibly live together?!


Lived together in another country, or under another visa. That is, two people who lived together for years in say France, then move to the UK. Other option, two people live together while one is in university on a student visa.


Why not just get married for the visa now and have the wedding later? My other half and I got married last june having met eight months previous. She moved here in September. We're getting engaged this summer and having a wedding next year.


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## WestCoastCanadianGirl (Mar 17, 2012)

Would agree with the others... your age gap isn't that unusual (I'm 9 years older than my husband), nor is the mode in which you met (I met my husband on a non-dating site message board and got engaged to each other after 16 weeks of email/Skype... we'd known each other 10 months when we applied for my visa)... your r'ship is not even a year old and I can almost guarantee you that the UKBA will refuse you. They've been refusing people at the 18 month mark... if you were closer to 23 months, I could see that you _might_ have a case to argue, but at 8 months and only having met once you're wasting your money and you don't want a refusal on your record (which will make things even harder for you further down the path).

The easiest path to follow would be to do as Brian2012 suggests. Apply for a fiancee visa, come over and have a simple registry wedding and then have a huge "my big fat Greek/Irish Gypsy wedding" later on... problem solved.



Incidentally, the recruiters aren't lying when they say that the job market is really competitive. In my previous life, I worked as a pharmacy technician in Canada (and briefly in the British West Indies... I even had "certified technician" status in the USA) and was in continuous full time work for 12 years ending last Columbus Day... if it weren't for the fact that I must re-train here in the UK for up to 2 years if I want to go back into the dispensary (my experiences in Canada and the BWI don't count for much), I'd likely be behind the counter now. 

I just received a rejection e-mail for a _volunteer job_ (!!!) yesterday afternoon, and the main (only?) reason they gave was "because of the high volume of applicants for the position." 

I've been able to secure an 'on call' type gig as a proctor here in London, but the only reason why I was able to get that was because one of my husband's friends is on the lookout for me and passing on any lead that came his way.


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## diverseyharbor (Mar 26, 2013)

I'm relatively new to this, but I agree with WestCoastCanadianGirl - the fiance visa is the best bet. Then you also have time to decide in the same country if you truly WANT to get married. Of course, you are the one making all the hard choices (i.e. moving, uprooting,). 

In a sort-of related scenario, I have a friend who had met her husband in the US while he as on a workers visa. They dated for two months in the US, and then she came to the UK for an extended visit (under 6 months). By the end of that time, they were engaged and had a quiet wedding state side and she stayed to apply for her visa and was approved. If you have enough savings to come over for an extended visit that may be an option also. I do also know, and anyone correct me if I'm wrong but you can get a visitor visa for 6 months if you are engaged but it gives you no right to work, recourse to public funds, etc.


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