# child custody



## bairdlander (May 23, 2012)

I am married to a filipina living in Phillipines.Our child has citizenship and passport of my home country and I want him to come here,so no need for sponsorship,I just need permission from my wife.I have submitted sponsorship for my wife and her other child and am waiting for processing.Problem is her constant demands for money and constantly lying.I am having second thoughts of bringing her here.I want my child to be here while we wait for process,she refuses as she knows I will cut her monthly allowance I send her of 27,000peso,which is for her ,my child and a child she has from previous relationship.She pays no rent,lives in her family owned home.I know she is getting more than enough to live on.Her own siblings as well as parents advise me to lessen the amount.But my wife wont stop with the daily demands for money and inflating costs.I have been to Phillipines many many times and know costs of items.I cant take this anymore.How do I get my child here with me and end this?Can a lawyer in my own country do anything or do I need to hire a Phillipine lawyer.Do I need to get annulment to just get custody of my child??


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

Sorry to hear what's happening to you Biarlander... ugh so many questions so I'll start with the first one, your wife had a baby so could she still be married, there's no divorce in the Philippines or it's extremely expensive to get one.

Next question is will she come to Canada without her first child (child she had before meeting you) because there's no way you are getting that child out, I couldn't imagine the many people you'd have to pay off to get that Visa let alone the adoption process and then, is there a requirement in Canada for a home study.

Can you retire here in the Philippines? 

Watch out the in-laws are always on your side because of money, you can't win, it's always about the money so without knowing your in-laws financial means they are with your wife, they need your money, it's another game along with using the kids or pitting each other against one another...Never forget this, they are one and the same.

I hope someone can give you better advice but I'm sure you already know where you stand, it's agonizing to hear what's happening to you, "Been there done that", I hope things turn around or a solution happens for you.


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

There are times when life s**ks and this appears to be one of them. If you want it to end, you may have to just "walk away from it all" so to speak. I had to do this several years ago, even though it still bothers me some. I have a Daughter by a woman I was not married to and have never been permitted to see, she is now 55 years old and I still think about it. Sometimes life creates some hard choices to make. Realize that whatever you do decide to do, you will have to live with that decision for many years.

This may seem a bit underhanded, but is it possible to get her and the child to where you are and then somehow get her deported without losing the child or causing yourself undue stress. 

Fred


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## bairdlander (May 23, 2012)

I am legally married to her in Phillipines,I am sponsoring her and her child from previous relationship(she was not married),the family is on my side regarding money.


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## Gary D (Oct 28, 2013)

fmartin_gila said:


> There are times when life s**ks and this appears to be one of them. If you want it to end, you may have to just "walk away from it all" so to speak. I had to do this several years ago, even though it still bothers me some. I have a Daughter by a woman I was not married to and have never been permitted to see, she is now 55 years old and I still think about it. Sometimes life creates some hard choices to make. Realize that whatever you do decide to do, you will have to live with that decision for many years.
> 
> This may seem a bit underhanded, but is it possible to get her and the child to where you are and then somehow get her deported without losing the child or causing yourself undue stress.
> 
> Fred


The problem with getting her to Canada then divorcing her is that western countries tend to except in desperate circumtances try and keep the children with their mother. Your best hope would be that she comes to Canada then runs out on you leaving the kids behind. Although she is more likely to run out on you leaving the children with her family. I would be very weary of her wanting to go to Canada on her own with the idea of the kids to follow once settled.:bolt:


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## Palawenio (Mar 4, 2014)

Darn ! Well, if it's me, to begin with, I will simplify my plan of action. The scenario is just too convoluted in my eyes.
Because if you don't (simplify), you may well spend the rest of your life (and money) trying to make this matter agreeable for yourself ; and in the end, may not even provide you with the desired results.. 
Go this way : basing on the premise - desperate situations require desperate measures.. 
ask yourself : Are you desperate enough? Are you willing to accept the consequences of your actions? There you go. 
Dang, I should not be giving bad advice.. but, is it really (bad) ? It's your own child. 
You make the call.
Just my 10 cents.


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## simonsays (Feb 11, 2009)

bairdlander said:


> I am legally married to her in Phillipines,I am sponsoring her and her child from previous relationship(she was not married),the family is on my side regarding money.


I would trust the family, if they were well to do.

If not, never.

After all, blood relations come first. Should something go wrong.


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## galactic (Dec 2, 2014)

Is your wife really that bad?

As you have stated the family of your wife is with you because of money, then that's your ticket. 
Use your money wisely. Make "friends" with everyone then make your move.
Annulment is expensive. Custody is near impossible.
The objective here is to get your child out of the country with you first then adjust the child's status in Canada.
I'm sorry for bordering on illegal ideas but sometimes it's the only way.

Goodluck.


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## esv1226 (Mar 13, 2014)

I would go to the Philippines and return home with your son while the sponsorship for the wife and her child are still in process. They can follow, you can withdraw the sponsorship or stop sending money. Take time deciding your next move. Your son has the passport so I don't see why you cannot return with him.


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## bairdlander (May 23, 2012)

*reply*



esv1226 said:


> I would go to the Philippines and return home with your son while the sponsorship for the wife and her child are still in process. They can follow, you can withdraw the sponsorship or stop sending money. Take time deciding your next move. Your son has the passport so I don't see why you cannot return with him.


Because it is illegal,I would need a letter from her most likely notarized.As for previous comments,the family is not on my side for money,they have their own.


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## Palawenio (Mar 4, 2014)

Listen well, bairdlander : been there, done that... my letter of consent from the mother to travel with my 3 year old Canadian child born in the Philippines was NOT required to be notarized by Canada Immigration.. I was asked : Is she your grandaughter? (haha, I'm in my 70's) I answered, No, she is my daughter.. (the agent smiled) Ok, he said, go ahead. 
Letter of consent was in handwriting, on cheap lined paper.. Hey, I was in the boonies.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

is your child better off with you than her? A child needs their mom too.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

bairdlander said:


> I am married to a filipina living in Phillipines.Our child has citizenship and passport of my home country and I want him to come here,so no need for sponsorship,I just need permission from my wife.I have submitted sponsorship for my wife and her other child and am waiting for processing.Problem is her constant demands for money and constantly lying.I am having second thoughts of bringing her here.I want my child to be here while we wait for process,she refuses as she knows I will cut her monthly allowance I send her of 27,000peso,which is for her ,my child and a child she has from previous relationship.She pays no rent,lives in her family owned home.I know she is getting more than enough to live on.Her own siblings as well as parents advise me to lessen the amount.But my wife wont stop with the daily demands for money and inflating costs.I have been to Phillipines many many times and know costs of items.I cant take this anymore.How do I get my child here with me and end this?Can a lawyer in my own country do anything or do I need to hire a Phillipine lawyer.Do I need to get annulment to just get custody of my child??


you have no rights in pinas,only the mom.


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## galactic (Dec 2, 2014)

Palawenio said:


> Listen well, bairdlander : been there, done that... my letter of consent from the mother to travel with my 3 year old Canadian child born in the Philippines was NOT required to be notarized by Canada Immigration.. I was asked : Is she your grandaughter? (haha, I'm in my 70's) I answered, No, she is my daughter.. (the agent smiled) Ok, he said, go ahead.
> Letter of consent was in handwriting, on cheap lined paper.. Hey, I was in the boonies.


When was this? What year?


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

esv1226 said:


> I would go to the Philippines and return home with your son while the sponsorship for the wife and her child are still in process. They can follow, you can withdraw the sponsorship or stop sending money. Take time deciding your next move. Your son has the passport so I don't see why you cannot return with him.


<Snip>

Consult an immigration attorney in Canada instead of a forum....money well spent. I found one that gave free advice but in the US.

Sent from my ASUS Transformer Pad TF700T using Tapatalk


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