# What's Not On in Dubai



## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

Giving Locals the finger.
Going topless.
Sex on the beach.
Doing 160 kpm on SZR.
Lending money.
Accepting lifts from strange men.


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## marc (Mar 10, 2008)

Spitting
Not crossing at a crosswalk
Playing loud music
Living with a friend
Kissing in public
Walking around Naked
Top off not at a beach
Fun in general
Fighting
Intelligence
Acting Drunk
Being Drunk
Drink Driving
Being Paid on time
Censored Disney films
Websites Banned
Breathing
Talking
Laughing
PORK 
Ramadan Eating
Ramadan Drinking
Ramadan Looking
PORN
Being Gay
Pretending to be all strict - when there's 100 'working girls' on every corner 
Sub Standards


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

Resigning (you're only allowed to be fired at most companies).
Queueing
Having all your papers stamped at one counter.


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## marc (Mar 10, 2008)

Have a stress free life
Go somewhere without being ripped off
Go anywhere within 10 minutes
Walking
Strolling
Running
Have clean shoes
Have nice armpits


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

The FA Cup Final.


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## mayotom (Nov 8, 2008)

Del said:


> Doing 160 kpm on SZR.


That's allowed, you just have to be a local to get away with it

bit off subject but a friend of mine in Riyad has the perfect discription for living in Riyad..

If you are an Ex-pat you must live like a local should,
If you are a local you live the life that a westerner is used to

other things that are Haram here

living with the girlfriend but the locals can have multiple wives and don't mind having one of the highest divorce rates in the world


.


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## mazdaRX8 (Jul 13, 2008)

getting a taxi man who doesn't rip you off
Amazon
Ebay
Addresses
turn signals
finished roads


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Complete quiet movie without ring ring ring!!!
Skype
Rain


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## Ogri750 (Feb 14, 2008)

Decent driving
Queues (without pushing in)
Decent tv stations
Veg that lasts more than 2 days


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Ogri750 said:


> Decent driving
> Queues (without pushing in)
> Decent tv stations
> Veg that lasts more than 2 days


A Taxi driver that knows where he is going
A Taxi driver that knows more English words than just 'yes sir' 
A Taxi driver that has change for 100Dhs
A Taxi driver with a broken horn
A Taxi driver that doesn't talk on his mobile for the whole journey
A Taxi driver that will pull over to let you out safely


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

mayotom said:


> That's allowed, you just have to be a local to get away with it


A policeman told me that if I get a radar flash I should contact him immediately and he'll delete the details before it gets put on file.
I didn't even ask for this facility (and I've never used it).

So, Imagine what Locals get.


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## marc (Mar 10, 2008)

LOL hahaha.

Apart from that whole page, Dubai is a great place to live LOL


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

marc said:


> LOL hahaha.
> 
> Apart from that whole page, Dubai is a great place to live LOL


I like Dubai - seriously.


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Del said:


> I like Dubai - seriously.


I like Dubai (and the whole of the UAE having also lived in Ajman and Sharjah and stayed in Abu Dhabi and Al Ain) flippantly...

What's really worrying is that apart from the gay sex and d/d, I've done pretty much everything else that's been listed...

It's only illegal if you get caught.....


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Andy Capp said:


> I like Dubai (and the whole of the UAE having also lived in Ajman and Sharjah and stayed in Abu Dhabi and Al Ain) flippantly...
> 
> What's really worrying is that apart from the gay sex and d/d, I've done pretty much everything else that's been listed...
> 
> It's only illegal if you get caught.....


Its lucky then that you have always been sufficiently vigilent not to get caught!! I hope you haven't got a list of things I must do before I die and slowly ticking em off - actually, can you tick off gay sex if you sleep with a couple of lesbians?


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> can you tick off gay sex if you sleep with a couple of lesbians?


You can if it happens to be couple of men born on the Greek island of ******!


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Lee1971 said:


> Its lucky then that you have always been sufficiently vigilent not to get caught!!


But i've never worn a [email protected] suit to rockbottom.....


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## jander13 (Mar 12, 2009)

> A policeman told me that if I get a radar flash I should contact him immediately and he'll delete the details before it gets put on file.
> I didn't even ask for this facility (and I've never used it).
> 
> So, Imagine what Locals get.


i have always thought they were all so rich that they didn't care about the fines and it was some sort of paid highway for them, you ruined the image!


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Andy Capp said:


> But i've never worn a [email protected] suit to rockbottom.....


That's the difference - someone wearing a tw*t suit, and someone being a tw*t in a suit.... (to Mods....that was a joke and in no way offensive, he wasn't even wearing a suit but when he does....the shoe fits)

Fine display by your boys last night btw, Shearer's a waste of time, youd've been better off asking Paul Daniels to conjure up some magic!! West Brom have spoilt the party, could've been all 3 North East teams going down if wasn't for them!!

Mighty Villa tonight, you out?


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Lee1971 said:


> That's the difference - someone wearing a tw*t suit, and someone being a tw*t in a suit.... (to Mods....that was a joke and in no way offensive, he wasn't even wearing a suit but when he does....the shoe fits)
> 
> Fine display by your boys last night btw, Shearer's a waste of time, youd've been better off asking Paul Daniels to conjure up some magic!! West Brom have spoilt the party, could've been all 3 North East teams going down if wasn't for them!!
> 
> Mighty Villa tonight, you out?


I know nothing about football, I support Newcastle Utd.....

Shearer IS a joke, it just goes to show that Ashley has no idea, he installed Keegan to appease the fans, Keegan did his usual and threw his toys out the pram, he failed to get Redknapp - which would have been a right result - got (you're) Jokin' 'Ere and when he couldn't hack it, tried to appease the fans again by getting Shearer who I still maintain is half the problem at the Toon anyway.

IF they go down (and this weekends game at home to the smoggies is a definite must win) then we can only hope that something good comes of it, Ashley won't sell, he'd love to but wont take the huge loss, Shearer should never set foot at SJP (No, not sex in the city starlet) again and maybe we can build. But the championship is notoriously difficult to get out of cos your premier players all piss off (loyalty anyone?).

And don't get me started on Michael Owen....


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

If you lose next Monday it's definately the end, we got em next Saturday...You didn't share your thoughts on Dennis Wise, the only thing for me to say is that he left on 1st April.....says it8 all


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## HelenG (Oct 21, 2008)

mazdaRX8 said:


> getting a taxi man who doesn't rip you off
> Amazon
> Ebay
> Addresses
> ...


Amazon? I've ordered things from the UK Amazon website and had them delivered to Dubai.


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## Ogri750 (Feb 14, 2008)

I get stuff from eBay and Amazon regularily.

I have my mail redirected from the UK to my PO Box. £75 for the year for all post including parcels


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> If you lose next Monday it's definately the end, we got em next Saturday...You didn't share your thoughts on Dennis Wise, the only thing for me to say is that he left on 1st April.....says it8 all


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## rj.uk (Aug 30, 2008)

Why are you in the UAE then?


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

rj.uk said:


> Why are you in the UAE then?


Me?
Working.


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Del said:


>


Right colours wrong team old boy!!
West Ham v Aston Villa 2008/2009 - WH 1 point, AV 4 points, the table never lies


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## Ogri750 (Feb 14, 2008)

I don't know.

One half decent season and AV get ideas above their stations


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> Right colours wrong team old boy!!
> West Ham v Aston Villa 2008/2009 - WH 1 point, AV 4 points, the table never lies


_"Champions League, you're having a laugh
Champions League, you're having a laugh..." _


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Ogri750 said:


> I don't know.
> 
> One half decent season and AV get ideas above their stations


That is not fair, European Cup winners in 1982!!! God anyone would think we've done nothing for over 25 years, but that is just not true, we were runners up in the first year of the premier league, and that was only 16 or 17 years ago!!


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Del said:


> _"Champions League, you're having a laugh
> Champions League, you're having a laugh..." _


3 more wins and the dizzy heights of the Intertoto Cup is a real possibility for you, I'm sure you can illegally sign a couple of players to get through of qualify for UEFA


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> 3 more wins and the dizzy heights of the Intertoto Cup is a real possibility for you, I'm sure you can illegally sign a couple of players to get through of qualify for UEFA


  
I dunno what Sheffield United are sulking about. They were supposed to beat Wigan at home.


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## Ogri750 (Feb 14, 2008)

Lee1971 said:


> 3 more wins and the dizzy heights of the Intertoto Cup is a real possibility for you, I'm sure you can illegally sign a couple of players to get through of qualify for UEFA


Ahem, there was no question of illegality regarding the signings. Might have been a slight issue over ownership though.


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> 3 more wins and the dizzy heights of the Intertoto Cup is a real possibility for you, I'm sure you can illegally sign a couple of players to get through of qualify for UEFA


I highly doubt that Aston Villa is interested in champion’s league, they seem more interested in get more points than they did last season and finishing in a higher position than they did last season….geez! where is the flare?


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Suey said:


> I highly doubt that Aston Villa is interested in champion’s league, they seem more interested in get more points than they did last season and finishing in a higher position than they did last season….geez! where is the flare?


You know nowt about footy cos you're a bird....

Go back to stuff you're meant to be good at, like taking care of children and washing/ironing/cooking etc....


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Suey said:


> I highly doubt that Aston Villa is interested in champion’s league, they seem more interested in get more points than they did last season and finishing in a higher position than they did last season….geez! where is the flare?


I know I know, what on earth are they thinking about, what team in their right mind starts the season with the goal of gaining more points and a higher league position than the previous season......thats just ridiculous right......I think next season we should be more realistic and hope for relagation, at least that way there can be no disappointment...oh no thats flawed, what if we stay up....i've got a migrane can't take the stress of all this striving for failure business....

Suey, you give blondes such a bad reputation huni


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Andy Capp said:


> You know nowt about footy cos you're a bird....
> 
> Go back to stuff you're meant to be good at, like taking care of children and washing/ironing/cooking etc....


 Chauvinist!!!....lucky for you this is not on lounge bse i cudda..............lol


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## Del (Apr 29, 2009)

Suey said:


> Chauvinist!!!....lucky for you this is not on lounge bse i cudda..............lol


Chauvinism is NOT ON in Dubai!


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> I know I know, what on earth are they thinking about, what team in their right mind starts the season with the goal of gaining more points and a higher league position than the previous season......thats just ridiculous right......I think next season we should be more realistic and hope for relagation, at least that way there can be no disappointment...oh no thats flawed, what if we stay up....i've got a migrane can't take the stress of all this striving for failure business....
> 
> Suey, you give blondes such a bad reputation huni


I guess losing all 13 games straight does not do any favours to their level of confidence hence, the lack of flare.

Blondes!! am super


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Del said:


> Chauvinism is NOT ON in Dubai!


lol...it is now officially on in dubai with Andy Capp on!


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Suey said:


> I guess losing all 13 games straight does not do any favours to their level of confidence hence, the lack of flare.
> 
> Blondes!! am super


Now I am just confused AV 2008/2009 form - P35, W16, D10 L9 we are talking about the same sport, or is there a netball team called Aston Villa....I don't wanna support them though cos apparantly they have lost 13 games straight...


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Del said:


> Chauvinism is NOT ON in Dubai!












Nor is racism, in fact so many things aren't on in Dubai, but it all happens, scratch the surface and it's worse than ****** ...


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Lee1971 said:


> Now I am just confused AV 2008/2009 form - P35, W16, D10 L9 we are talking about the same sport, or is there a netball team called Aston Villa....I don't wanna support them though cos apparantly they have lost 13 games straight...


Ooh, i love netball, i used to play centre, it was really just an excuse to get in the showers with our goal attack called Christina....










Anyway, moving swiftly on...


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Andy Capp said:


> Ooh, i love netball, i used to play centre, it was really just an excuse to get in the showers with our goal attack called Christina....
> 
> 
> 
> ...


How can you move on swiftly from that......I prefered it coming in with power from the wing attack pass to me as the goal shooter (of course) and lobbing it through the goal defence, the anticipation as the ball hit the rim....

nice picture of 3 beach volleyball players btw....

I suspect a MOD attack is coming anytime soon..


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Lee1971 said:


> How can you move on swiftly from that......I prefered it coming in with power from the wing attack pass to me as the goal shooter (of course) and lobbing it through the goal defence, the anticipation as the ball hit the rim....
> 
> nice picture of 3 beach volleyball players btw....
> 
> I suspect a MOD attack is coming anytime soon..


Balls hitting the rim - that's a bit Finbarr eh?

And the pic's url is from the New Zealand Edge about netball players - beach volleyball players don't wear skirts....

www.nzedge.com/newzedge/newzedge_clare/images/netball_league.jpg


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> Now I am just confused AV 2008/2009 form - P35, W16, D10 L9 we are talking about the same sport, or is there a netball team called Aston Villa....I don't wanna support them though cos apparantly they have lost 13 games straight...


alright alright, first win in 13 games, same thing to me and I am counting draws as loses...lol....not netball unless you are comparing Aston Villa’s soccer skills to netball…..see now am also getting headache, like Andy said, am not a bloke to know these things….urghh.....


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Suey said:


> alright alright, first win in 13 games, same thing to me and I am counting draws as loses...lol....not netball unless you are comparing Aston Villa’s soccer skills to netball…..see now am also getting headache, *like Andy said, am not a bloke to know these things….urghh.....*


Yes, and you're so very blonde Suey too....


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Suey said:


> alright alright, first win in 13 games, same thing to me and I am counting draws as loses...lol....not netball unless you are comparing Aston Villa’s soccer skills to netball…..see now am also getting headache, like Andy said, am not a bloke to know these things….urghh.....


1. Only a girl or cocky man utd would say something like that
2. duhhh of course i'm not comparing netball with football, off your such a girl
3. yep, you have a head ache...your husband/partner will come home later, you'll tell him you have a headache so he will go down the pub, no point staying in is there
4. forget football and stick to what you do best...washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning...and assist in what WE do best, making love..


Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.

Women are never wrong.....apologising is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?

A woman has the last word in any argument....anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Nuff said


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> 1. Only a girl or cocky man utd would say something like that
> 2. duhhh of course i'm not comparing netball with football, off your such a girl
> 3. yep, you have a head ache...your husband/partner will come home later, you'll tell him you have a headache so he will go down the pub, no point staying in is there
> 4. forget football and stick to what you do best...washing, ironing, cooking, cleaning...and assist in what WE do best, making love..
> ...


and is all this on in Dubai?


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Suey said:


> and is all this on in Dubai?


1. there are plenty of cocky man u fans, the only place in the world you won't find any is Manchester
2. yeah i think your of the female form
3. dunno about the headaches at the mo, I live on my own so down the pub is a good option, even though the closest is Rock Bottom!
4. see above do all the girly things but none of the latter hey ho
5. I post terrible jokes in plentiful supply


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> 1. there are plenty of cocky man u fans, the only place in the world you won't find any is Manchester
> 2. yeah i think your of the female form
> 3. dunno about the headaches at the mo, I live on my own so down the pub is a good option, even though the closest is Rock Bottom!
> 4. see above do all the girly things but none of the latter hey ho
> 5. I post terrible jokes in plentiful supply


Lee1971, am so itching to dish it out on you, but not on here, am taking this to the lounge lest King Silk does a number on me…lol…..king silk am joking!!


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Suey said:


> Lee1971, am so itching to dish it out on you, but not on here, am taking this to the lounge lest King Silk does a number on me…lol…..king silk am joking!!


wossat cybersex.....yeah the lounge sounds better....not tonight though I got a prawn curry on the hob wouldn't want my curry breath to spoil our blossoming relationship....


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> wossat cybersex.....yeah the lounge sounds better....not tonight though I got a prawn curry on the hob wouldn't want my curry breath to spoil our blossoming relationship....


That is not what i meant silly!!


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## Lee1971 (Mar 14, 2009)

Suey said:


> That is not what i meant silly!!


Denial huni denial, freudian slip....come on lets stay in the lounge its more comfortable in there and less chance of getting caught by our parents....


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## Suey (Jan 11, 2009)

Lee1971 said:


> Denial huni denial, freudian slip....come on lets stay in the lounge its more comfortable in there and less chance of getting caught by our parents....


in the lounge it is then


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

This thread has gone completely off topic.

I will tell you however, that there is no place on the Dubai board for pointless sexist discussion. Take it to The Lounge please.


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