# Why do Indians and Pakistanis stare at others?



## Sean2008

Why do Indians and Pakistanis in Dubai keep on staring at others? It's getting annoying and I know it's not just me.


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## Seven Seas

Because staring in india and pakistan mean nothing at all. In other countries , the way you look at people means something. But not there.

The way you hand anything to another person means nothing here, but it does in Korea.


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## Gavtek

I've only ever really seen them stare at attractive women and it would be a bit hypocritical of me to persecute them for that!


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## mrbig

You arent going to last long here if you let little things like that bother you!


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## jojo

I've noticed that the Spanish stare too. I'm of the opinion that actually it isnt that people of other nationalities stare as such or are being offensive, its that us Brits keep our heads down and dont look or stare cos we're frightened of upsetting anyone or making eye contact - ????! I've noticed here in Spain that if I "stare" back at someone staring at me, I get a lovely smile - something the British tend not to do. So see staring as a nice thing and not a problem - give em a big friendly smile

Jo xxx


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## Jynxgirl

People who just sqwat everywhere and anywhere, in the middle of no where or in the midst of everything, who just sit and watch every one go to and fro... ARE EVERYWHERE HERE. 

I personally will never get used to it, but if you can somehow become immune to it, your life will be much easier. I am giving up running outside because of this making me so uncomfortable, that and the whole getting stopped as a russian prostitute twice...


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## ChungyUK

Doesn't just happen in Dubai but happens in the UK as well....very recently I was working out at the gym and a couple of these guys of indian descent kept on looking at me....I don't know the reason behind it but it kept freaking me out a tiny bit lol!!

Not exactly comfortable when guys stare at you but if its a lady then fair enough I could deal with it lol.

Another thing with living in the UK is its hard to look at people right in the eye because of something that may happen, which could result in a fight or some sort. 

Although, today while working out at the gym I did get a nice smile from this woman which was very refreshing. Its very rarely you get a stranger smiling at you.


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## Jynxgirl

Your in Canada and they are not nice and friendly?? 

I am from Texas, the south... so we are by nature just friendly people. 

Are you a guy or a girl? This not being able to tell who is at least registered as a g uy or a girl is not so good. I would like to know whose prospective I am getting.


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## mrbig

jynx, houston texas here... I do miss the southern hospitality.

But you girls have to realise that these guys prolly havent been laid in years so when they do see a women they tend to stare. They are harmless, just let them get thier little perverted visions in thier head so they have something to beat it to when they are alone. Thier lifes are really quite sad.


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## ChungyUK

Jynxgirl said:


> Your in Canada and they are not nice and friendly??
> 
> I am from Texas, the south... so we are by nature just friendly people.
> 
> Are you a guy or a girl? This not being able to tell who is at least registered as a g uy or a girl is not so good. I would like to know whose prospective I am getting.


If you must know I am a guy and no I'm not in Canada but in the UK. I'd like to move there one day and you're wrong Canadians are friendly. I can't exactly comment on Americans/Texans being friendly but I've heard that southerners are very warm and welcoming hence thats why they provide excellent southerner hospitally as most people say.


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## Jynxgirl

Sorry, you have that you are in Canada, so I was thinking that what you were writing was about Canada.


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## cautious_mover

Jynxgirl said:


> Your in Canada and they are not nice and friendly??
> 
> I am from Texas, the south... so we are by nature just friendly people.
> 
> Are you a guy or a girl? This not being able to tell who is at least registered as a g uy or a girl is not so good. I would like to know whose prospective I am getting.


South of I-10 ?? !! Bet you miss Whataburger !! I know I do and I am a Limey !!


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## Sean2008

I think they just stare at westerners (women and men) because somehow they think they (Indians) are "invisible" and people don't notice them when they stare. But it's annoying to feel like you're being observed and scrutinized.

Anyway, I like this line from Robert De Niro's movie "Midnight Run" where De Niro plays Jack Walsh, a bounty hunter:

Jack Walsh: Are you gonna propose to me?
Joey: Propose?
Jack Walsh: Propose! Because if you're not, don't keep starin' at me! 

LOL check out the YouTube video 







mrbig said:


> But you girls have to realise that these guys prolly havent been laid in years so when they do see a women they tend to stare. They are harmless, just let them get thier little perverted visions in thier head so they have something to beat it to when they are alone. Thier lifes are really quite sad.


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## cautious_mover

Sean2008 said:


> I think they just stare at westerners (women and men) because somehow they think they (Indians) are "invisible" and people don't notice them when they stare. But it's annoying to feel like you're being observed and scrutinized.
> 
> Anyway, I like this line from Robert De Niro's movie "Midnight Run" where De Niro plays Jack Walsh, a bounty hunter:
> 
> Jack Walsh: Are you gonna propose to me?
> Joey: Propose?
> Jack Walsh: Propose! Because if you're not, don't keep starin' at me!
> 
> LOL check out the YouTube video YouTube- Broadcast Yourself.


Enjoy the celebrity status !!! Now we know how it feels to be famous !!!


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## Jynxgirl

I dont eat beef.. so dont miss whataburger so much. 

I do miss all the bbq, even though I just get the chicken everywhere I go. ..  love all the sides that always come with bbq. 

When I tell my friends back home about this staring thing, they always ask if its like the mexicans, which I find quite funny. They have nothing on the people here!


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## Niknpatel

I'm of indian decent and having been born in the UK and now living in the USA, it's the same for me when i go to India or am around some one who is a FOB "Fresh Of the Boat".

It's normal in India/Pakistan to stare and it's not taken as perverted etc....so they do it without thinking us western people think it's rude!

They mean no harm at all...really!


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## madmax

Mr Big's view is spot on. They do stare coz their lives are pretty sad. They dont scrutinize. For them westerners are entertainment,goodlooking entertainment. 

But I woudnt use Deniro's "proposal" line..atleast not on some arabs. They'll actually make a move,lol. Mexicans,asians have nuthin on the arabs! 

I say they should all do more sports and stop wandering around in flashy cars & in malls. But dubai wont be dubai then.


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## Sean2008

I agree with that but not only construction workers stare, even well-educated Indian/Pakistani expats do so




madmax said:


> Mr Big's view is spot on. They do stare coz their lives are pretty sad. They dont scrutinize. For them westerners are entertainment,goodlooking entertainment.


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## VADXB

Sean2008 said:


> I agree with that but not only construction workers stare, even well-educated Indian/Pakistani expats do so


Sean

I'm South Asian and moved here after living many years in Europe and North America. I understand how some of these would feel a bit odd. As one of the poster mentioned, they mean no harm absolutely whatsoever and most of these guys have probably never seen a Caucasian till they moved here as the cities they come from in India/ Pakistan may not be very cosmopolitan nor might have many tourists coming over.

There is also an element of inquisitiveness in some of their stares and the stares are not common only to south asians. 

If you are brown and have traveled around in Eastern Europe (Poland and Latvia ) then you will understand the looks you get there and sometimes people even come and tell you that you look "Exotic" as until recently they have not met any brown person.


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## jojo

Just stare back with a big smile, its not really an issue, altho a lot of brits tend to think it is and dont like it - "what you lookin' at" is usually said aggressively by chavs and the like, cos brits find it threatening for some reason??!!!

Jo xxx


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## Sean2008

The worst time was when I was waiting for 3 hours in a long queue to have my X-ray and Blood test for the visa. It was extremely uncomfortable and I felt like shouting "what you lookin' at??"



jojo said:


> Just stare back with a big smile, its not really an issue, altho a lot of brits tend to think it is and dont like it - "what you lookin' at" is usually said aggressively by chavs and the like, cos brits find it threatening for some reason??!!!
> 
> Jo xxx


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## jojo

Sean2008 said:


> The worst time was when I was waiting for 3 hours in a long queue to have my X-ray and Blood test for the visa. It was extremely uncomfortable and I felt like shouting "what you lookin' at??"



LOL - well thats either your "chavvy" roots  or maybe you've been brought up to feel its rude to stare!? In fact I can remember my mum telling me that when I was a kid! But not all cultures think that it is?!?
I've always thought what a stupid question anyway - "what you lookin' at" Its pretty obvious or you wouldnt be asking!!??? 

Jo xx


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## Sean2008

Why do they walk together holding hands anyway?



jojo said:


> LOL - well thats either your "chavvy" roots  or maybe you've been brought up to feel its rude to stare!? In fact I can remember my mum telling me that when I was a kid! But not all cultures think that it is?!?
> I've always thought what a stupid question anyway - "what you lookin' at" Its pretty obvious or you wouldnt be asking!!???
> 
> Jo xx


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## Elphaba

Sean2008 said:


> Why do they walk together holding hands anyway?


It's a cultural thing and means nothing apart from friendship. 

Dubai is a mass of different cultures, one of the good things about living here, and you simply have to accept that people behave differently. If they are not harming you, you just need to chill and live with it.

-


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## VADXB

Sean2008 said:


> Why do they walk together holding hands anyway?


May be grab yourself a culture guide which will explain many things. Unfortunately many people do not realise that there are several different cultures exist in this world and many have their own unique things. 

There is no right or wrong and what may very well appear weird to you be perfectly acceptable to others!


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## jojo

VADXB said:


> May be grab yourself a culture guide which will explain many things. Unfortunately many people do not realise that there are several different cultures exist in this world and many have their own unique things.
> 
> There is no right or wrong and what may very well appear weird to you be perfectly acceptable to others!



That the whole point and you're right!!

I know its not quite the same thing, but I still have trouble getting used to the "double kiss" greeting thing when you meet anyone and everyone in Spain!! As a Brit (or maybe my upbringing???) you dont go around kissing everyone - I do, cos thats what you do here in Spain, but I try not to and I dont feel comfy doing it!!!!


Jo xxx


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## ChungyUK

jojo said:


> Just stare back with a big smile, its not really an issue, altho a lot of brits tend to think it is and dont like it - "what you lookin' at" is usually said aggressively by chavs and the like, cos brits find it threatening for some reason??!!!
> 
> Jo xxx


So true JoJo!!

I couldn't agree with you more there. I don't smile nor even look at random people in the eye because I'm afraid I'll get a bad reaction out of them. Its better to be on the safe side and not to provoke an aggressive look by someone.

Steve


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## M123

People watching is something many people do, but normally it's relaxing on a coffee shop with a street view somewhere trendy, or a park/beach or something.

It just so happens that many of these people may have jobs which involve standing around etc, and all they can do is people-watch.

Either this message board is full of attractive people, or there are some seriously deluded people in here


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## M123

Sean2008 said:


> Why do they walk together holding hands anyway?


Why? you should be happy, at least you can be with your partner without anyone noticing.

Anyway, I'm joking, but seriously, in Arab/Islamic culture it's normal for a man to kiss another bloke, and this is derived from the fact that you can't get touchy with a girl you're not married/immediately related to.

So it is common for friends to kiss when they greet and even hold hands or put their arm around them.

Many parts of Europe are like that, heck even David Beckham started kissing his Madrid teamates after goals.


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## Jynxgirl

I dont mean to be close minded, but for the life of me I dont understand how they can then dislike homosexuality. If you allow a man to have contact with a man, and enjoy touching each other, but women are no no's... I just dont see that as being good long term. Its got to add to the bisexuality issue. Heck, people who dont date in their teens due to the ugly duckling thing, I found quite behind the learning curve in their twenties. 

I can only imagine this constant segregation... 

And Beckham running in throwing a kiss on someone after a goal is quite different then walking around in constant contact with his teammates.


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## EXPAT09

Im new here, came from Texas/Houston as well.

It is not that easy to let it go when someone stares at your girlfriend/fiancee/wife, But it's doable, cause let's face it - what are you gon do?But I think i'd get myself in trouble if someone would have asked her "how much?" Because i heard its pretty common here.


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## M123

Jynxgirl said:


> I dont mean to be close minded, but for the life of me I dont understand how they can then dislike homosexuality. If you allow a man to have contact with a man, and enjoy touching each other, but women are no no's... I just dont see that as being good long term. Its got to add to the bisexuality issue. Heck, people who dont date in their teens due to the ugly duckling thing, I found quite behind the learning curve in their twenties.
> 
> I can only imagine this constant segregation...
> 
> And Beckham running in throwing a kiss on someone after a goal is quite different then walking around in constant contact with his teammates.


They dislike homosexuality because homosexuality in this part of the world is sodomy and intercourse with another man.

Being a homosexual but not actually engaging in these activities isn't banned anywhere in the world.

They don't 'enjoy' touching each other in the sexual sense (some may do, but they would be homosexuals). They simply do not see anything romantic about putting your arm around a same-sex friend, or kissing him when you greet him (or her).

Women are 'no-no's' as you put it, simply because male-female relationships in the strict islamic sense (when practiced) are defined by marriage. Essentially you don't 'practice' sex by dating different girls. The objective is to find a compatible partner and then practice after marriage. The criterias then vary such as how the families got along, or whether you knew each other in school, or whether you are part of the same circle or even being set up by parents. Having some money obviously helps in any culture.

You don't need to be physically intimate with a girl, to know that you want to marry her in this part of the world. It's not as difficult as it sounds and has plenty of plus-points.

Perhaps you know this already, but if you don't, maybe it helps a little?


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## mrbig

EXPAT09 said:


> Im new here, came from Texas/Houston as well.
> 
> It is not that easy to let it go when someone stares at your girlfriend/fiancee/wife, But it's doable, cause let's face it - what are you gon do?But I think i'd get myself in trouble if someone would have asked her "how much?" Because i heard its pretty common here.



Whats up houston brother? 
Expat, you just have to let it go. Cause who is she going home with? you! Not them. I know its a giant sign of disrespect to ask a women how much, but if you do anything, you will be sent back home. Just not worth it.

I know us Texans have a certain way of handling things, but that way doesnt work here. We will be in prison for a long time. I learned that very quickly after arriving here. holler


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## Jynxgirl

That stuff I have pretty much been told but I prob just have a culture block??? 

I dont much mind my culture block though. I will not understand segregation of sexes no matter how anyone puts it.


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## harisnaeem1986

I know that some people do stare, but it is not necessary that they are from pakistan or india. it has nothing to do with the nationality. I have seen people starring like anything and i know that they are not from sub continent. 

I think one should ignore such issues.


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## EXPAT09

mrbig said:


> Whats up houston brother?
> Expat, you just have to let it go. Cause who is she going home with? you! Not them. I know its a giant sign of disrespect to ask a women how much, but if you do anything, you will be sent back home. Just not worth it.
> 
> I know us Texans have a certain way of handling things, but that way doesnt work here. We will be in prison for a long time. I learned that very quickly after arriving here. holler


thx for the heads up bro. 
BTW yesterday, Houston temp 22 F. what the ....


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## mrbig

EXPAT09 said:


> thx for the heads up bro.
> BTW yesterday, Houston temp 22 F. what the ....


I know right.. crazy ****


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## maverick3981

What are you talking about? I only stare at attractive women, irrespective of race or nationality.....


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## SBP

It's not just in UAE, it is everywhere. After a while you get used to it, it is just one those things we have to put up with being stunningly hamdsome and sexy. One does try not to pity the ugly people too much, but then again they are ugly, so maybe not.


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## chunkykitty

I have no problems now, guess used to it, but i do hate when they stare at kids or teens, with .... look.


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## alastairneal

Sean2008 said:


> Why do Indians and Pakistanis in Dubai keep on staring at others? It's getting annoying and I know it's not just me.


Well Sean, some months ago a mall in uae banned the poor labourers from india and pakistan because they annoyed people like you with their stares. You can try lodging a complaint on the 'staring' issue with the local authorities, and who knows they might ban these people from staring at other human beings as well.

Quite simple, innit??


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## MaidenScotland

jojo said:


> Just stare back with a big smile, its not really an issue, altho a lot of brits tend to think it is and dont like it - "what you lookin' at" is usually said aggressively by chavs and the like, cos brits find it threatening for some reason??!!!
> 
> Jo xxx




Ohhh Jo you can't do that in Egypt.. I did and got myself sexually molested in the lift

Maiden


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## topcat83

M123 said:


> Either this message board is full of attractive people....


Yip - that's me! 


> .... or there are some seriously deluded people in here....


...but hubby says this is me....


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## Indian_Habibi

....and think that you are George Clooney being recognized , and move on about your business


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## Nomad80

*Submitter *- I just happened to stumble upon this site searching for random info 

As for your question - we Indians and Pakistanis stare because we have no work, are rather envious of your fair skin, want to impregnate all your women as an establishment of dominance and yet ironically still cherish the good ol' days of imperialism 

I'm sure you wanted to hear that, so there you go - good ol' confirmation bias for the win


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## Elphaba

Nomad80 said:


> *Submitter *- I just happened to stumble upon this site searching for random info
> 
> As for your question - we Indians and Pakistanis stare because we have no work, are rather envious of your fair skin, want to impregnate all your women as an establishment of dominance and yet ironically still cherish the good ol' days of imperialism
> 
> I'm sure you wanted to hear that, so there you go - good ol' confirmation bias for the win


Excellent response.  :clap2:

-


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## M123

Lol @ topcat & Nomad


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## Rod007

Sorry folks if this is going to disappoint you! There are actually good reasons for this:

In the case of the Indians it is a well documented Genetic Medical Reason called "BV" or Blurred Vision, which can occur at any time of the day depending on the person or persons whom they're looking at -- when this situation happens the Indian person thinks he is actually looking at a cow and since cows are widely worshiped in India therefore, this makes this behaviour pretty normal indeed - and as for the Pakistanians, we all know how they always try to compete with their Indian counterparts - so they do it simply as a means of competition only.

***


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## SBP

Rod007 said:


> Sorry folks if this is going to disappoint you! There are actually good reasons for this:
> 
> In the case of the Indians it is a well documented Genetic Medical Reason called "BV" or Blurred Vision, which can occur at any time of the day depending on the person or persons whom they're looking at -- when this situation happens the Indian person thinks he is actually looking at a cow and since cows are widely worshiped in India therefore, this makes this behaviour pretty normal indeed - and as for the Pakistanians, we all know how they always try to compete with their Indian counterparts - so they do it simply as a means of competition only.
> 
> ***


Bit harsh to say all the women they stare at are cows :tongue1: There must be some pretty ones in Dubai surely??? No point coming out otherwise!


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## SBP

MaidenScotland said:


> Ohhh Jo you can't do that in Egypt.. I did and got myself sexually molested in the lift
> 
> Maiden


Did they go up or down??


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## Jynxgirl

I know the people have a miserable, terrible life for the most part and have absolutly nothing to do besides to look at people. I am talking about the unfortunate tcns groups that I personally think are treated like slaves regardless of the argument that they want to come here and live like this because its better then back home. Its hard though trying to be nice and friendly and just deal with it. 

I walked out my building in discovery garden to find the most odd and terrible sight to me. Of course I walk out, and the guys just stop what they are doing and look, which urks me to no other but to my utter amazement, they all have larger then hand scissors but not at all yard scissors, cutting the groud cover ??? WHAT THE HECK?? Really.. there were like 25 guys doing this. Buy a fricken weed eater and one guy could do the same area the 20 guys are working on and taking hours to do. I thought the guys on the side of roads with small brooms getting sand up was bad.. this absolutly topped it! And no one else seems amazed who walked out the building! The lack of care of another individuals life amazes me here. I dont think I will ever get used to this and I surely hope I do not. 

It really does get old though, the staring. I am buying a 3000$ treadmill because of it....


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## marc

nomad80 said:


> *submitter *- i just happened to stumble upon this site searching for random info
> 
> as for your question - we indians and pakistanis stare because we have no work, are rather envious of your fair skin, want to impregnate all your women as an establishment of dominance and yet ironically still cherish the good ol' days of imperialism
> 
> i'm sure you wanted to hear that, so there you go - good ol' confirmation bias for the win


win


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## saurabh.the.expat

ChungyUK said:


> Doesn't just happen in Dubai but happens in the UK as well....very recently I was working out at the gym and a couple of these guys of indian descent kept on looking at me....I don't know the reason behind it but it kept freaking me out a tiny bit lol!!
> 
> Not exactly comfortable when guys stare at you but if its a lady then fair enough I could deal with it lol.
> 
> Another thing with living in the UK is its hard to look at people right in the eye because of something that may happen, which could result in a fight or some sort.
> 
> Although, today while working out at the gym I did get a nice smile from this woman which was very refreshing. Its very rarely you get a stranger smiling at you.


I never knew making eye contact could be fatal in other countries. Indians here look/stare others irrespective of sex if the other person is good looking or looks like to have come from a high society or a non-native(even a non-Indian city fella). They don't mean to be offensive when they do this............Whenever I missed my office cab in India and boarded a local bus I too found myself being stared.... I would never make return eye contact though.........and no no no Indians are very straight............A guy could never see other for sex if he is straight.............In a nuteshell, I don't see staring others could be offensive here in India, it might turn into a return smile though. FREINDLY:clap2:
Cheers,
Sau


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## M123

More often than not, the simple answer is fascination.

If you are a tourist, you tend to observe people in a certain way, as it is a foreign way of life, and sometimes you can stare.

Generally this is probably the case in that community.

A funny story is a mate of mine who is asian, brought his grandmother over to London, fresh from Pakistan all her life.

She spots a black guy at a bus stop, and was absolutely astonished as it's the first black guy she had ever seen in her life. She started talking about his beautiful black skin and wanted to touch him. The guy was rather confused but managed to see the funny side.


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## Vmoses

Jynxgirl said:


> I dont mean to be close minded, but for the life of me I dont understand how they can then dislike homosexuality. If you allow a man to have contact with a man, and enjoy touching each other, but women are no no's... I just dont see that as being good long term. Its got to add to the bisexuality issue. Heck, people who dont date in their teens due to the ugly duckling thing, I found quite behind the learning curve in their twenties.
> 
> I can only imagine this constant segregation...
> 
> And Beckham running in throwing a kiss on someone after a goal is quite different then walking around in constant contact with his teammates.


You are joking right? I mean comparing handholding and kissing to homosexual sex - really? And if you are curious about the conservatism and the 'segregation' - you should talk to the folks in the Bible Belt and all the conservative Christians in the southern US regarding chastity, dating and premarital sex etc. 

As to the topic - it has been addressed. But if you go to small town USA or Canada and you are foreign(ie of colour) you will be stared at. Forget about if you wear a hijab or a head scarf. Part of the experience of living in a new country is that things are different. And it may not always be to your liking. Move on.


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## Nomad80

Vmoses said:


> You are joking right? I mean comparing handholding and kissing to homosexual sex - really? And if you are curious about the conservatism and the 'segregation' - you should talk to the folks in the Bible Belt and all the conservative Christians in the southern US regarding chastity, dating and premarital sex etc.
> 
> As to the topic - it has been addressed. But if you go to small town USA or Canada and you are foreign(ie of colour) you will be stared at. Forget about if you wear a hijab or a head scarf. Part of the experience of living in a new country is that things are different. And it may not always be to your liking. Move on.




haha dude anytime I visited Tallahassee (to meet the parents of the girl I was seeing at the time - otherwise wow that town is a snoozefest) I'd be stared at. I found it amusing. some people overhype their occurrences like its a daily trauma


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## Jynxgirl

I was messaged that what I am 'seeing' in my neck of the woods (discovery gardens) is not typical and its because the area is now being used to house tcns. I appreciated the personal email! Enlightening a bit. 

I wasnt joking at all.


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## Andy Capp

Jynxgirl said:


> I was messaged that what I am 'seeing' in my neck of the woods (discovery gardens) is not typical and its because the area is now being used to house tcns. I appreciated the personal email! Enlightening a bit.
> 
> I wasnt joking at all.


Well the bottom line is you get a better class of low life lechers in the likes of Arabian ranches and Emirates Hills etal. But Discovery gardens - just watch out for the transvestite's parties!


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## saurabh.the.expat

I am an Indian too and believe Indians are just curious about foreigners and that's why they stare at them. I am sure they don't mean to be offensive and don't find guilty while doing so. They would never stare at others if they did(find guilty in that).
At the same time, I agree it is kind of disguisting and upsetting to find yourself being scrunised. But they don't know that.
Cheers.
Sau....


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## rsinner

saurabh.the.expat said:


> I am an Indian too and believe Indians are just curious about foreigners and that's why they stare at them. I am sure they don't mean to be offensive and don't find guilty while doing so. They would never stare at others if they did(find guilty in that).
> At the same time, I agree it is kind of disguisting and upsetting to find yourself being scrunised. But they don't know that.
> Cheers.
> Sau....


I was at the beach at JBR today. The way some labourers from a nearby construction site came down to the beach (they were in their overalls) and just stood as a group at the water edge and stared at females before moving on and turning to ogle some more was disgusting. I was just happy that my wife wasn't there with me.
Yes everyone is advised to ignore them etc etc. But at that point of time I was quite angry. And I am guessing all of the group were my countrymen


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## Elphaba

Just to play devil's advocate. Is looking a crime?

-


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## alastairneal

I find it very surreal that we are even discussing a topic like this! Goes to show how blatantly racist we all are. it feels like browsing thru newspapers in 1939's Warsaw - 'Today jews were banned from walking on the concrete pavements and going forward will be severlely persecuted if they make eye contact with the legitimate population while venturing outdoors.'

Do all of us in this forum consider these unfortunate people as sub-humans, not worthy of even looking at other human beings? I am really very ashamed and sad... what more can i say


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## Sonya664

alastairneal said:


> I find it very surreal that we are even discussing a topic like this! Goes to show how blatantly racist we all are. it feels like browsing thru newspapers in 1939's Warsaw - 'Today jews were banned from walking on the concrete pavements and going forward will be severlely persecuted if they make eye contact with the legitimate population while venturing outdoors.'
> 
> Do all of us in this forum consider these unfortunate people as sub-humans, not worthy of even looking at other human beings? I am really very ashamed and sad... what more can i say


Quite simply,,,thank you for your post :clap2:
Decent people do exist!


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## arjun

Sorry to crash the party ladies and gentlemen ... but im pretty sure its not just us Indians and Pakistanis who know when they see a beautiful lady : ) ... but incase we do get some extra recognition for it ...i guess there should be more Indians and Pakistanis on the Jury for the miss universe pageant.... : )

With due respect to all the ladies who seem to be worried due to mentioned reasons , i would like to ask them , continuing on the light note i started on... to maybe try and enjoy the fact that they are beautiful creations of god and that many a decent man cant help admiring them ...  

Okay .. im sorry dint mean to be a jerk...yes ppl stare and its not appropriate ... but who dosent ... nd its just amazing that it becomes a nationality issue ... y cant it be a economic class issue , or an educational issue or an exposure issue... 
Another question is how does one differentiate between a pathan (afghani) , Indian , Pakistani , Bangladeshi , Iranis , etc 
Im an Indian ,,,, even I can find it difficult to figure that out .... 
Lets not name the Swan "the ugly duckling" ... atleast give it the chance to grow... 

But please except my apologies for the incorrect behaviour of my fellow citizens of the world....
Just thought ill share my views ... didnt mean to redicule anyone... hope i can still make a few friends after this .... : P
Take care 
AJ


----------



## Nomad80

alastairneal said:


> Do all of us in this forum consider these unfortunate people as sub-humans, not worthy of even looking at other human beings? I am really very ashamed and sad... what more can i say




The answer is no. But that requires an ability for reading comprehension.

apologies if that was curt - I appreciate your intentions, genuine as they are - but really, if you're going to use broad brush strokes; try to understand that most in this thread were infact conveying the same sentiment as you


----------



## topcat83

arjun said:


> Sorry to crash the party ladies and gentlemen ... but im pretty sure its not just us Indians and Pakistanis who know when they see a beautiful lady : ) ... but incase we do get some extra recognition for it ...i guess there should be more Indians and Pakistanis on the Jury for the miss universe pageant.... : )
> 
> With due respect to all the ladies who seem to be worried due to mentioned reasons , i would like to ask them , continuing on the light note i started on... to maybe try and enjoy the fact that they are beautiful creations of god and that many a decent man cant help admiring them ...
> 
> Okay .. im sorry dint mean to be a jerk...yes ppl stare and its not appropriate ... but who dosent ... nd its just amazing that it becomes a nationality issue ... y cant it be a economic class issue , or an educational issue or an exposure issue...
> Another question is how does one differentiate between a pathan (afghani) , Indian , Pakistani , Bangladeshi , Iranis , etc
> Im an Indian ,,,, even I can find it difficult to figure that out ....
> Lets not name the Swan "the ugly duckling" ... atleast give it the chance to grow...
> 
> But please except my apologies for the incorrect behaviour of my fellow citizens of the world....
> Just thought ill share my views ... didnt mean to redicule anyone... hope i can still make a few friends after this .... : P
> Take care
> AJ


Hi there 

I think it would be very useful if anyone who hasn't visited the Egypt forum does so. 

One of the major problems in Egypt is that - quite bluntly - European women (any!) are considered 'loose' and 'fair game'. Is it any wonder that we become paranoid about men staring at us? It can be very frightening, especially when that staring could turn into something more. 

At what point should we stop being flattered and start being scared?


----------



## rsinner

topcat83 said:


> Hi there
> 
> I think it would be very useful if anyone who hasn't visited the Egypt forum does so.
> 
> One of the major problems in Egypt is that - quite bluntly - European women (any!) are considered 'loose' and 'fair game'. Is it any wonder that we become paranoid about men staring at us? It can be very frightening, especially when that staring could turn into something more.
> 
> At what point should we stop being flattered and start being scared?


Are there Indians and Pakistanis there too ?


----------



## topcat83

rsinner said:


> Are there Indians and Pakistanis there too ?


No - but there are plenty of men who stare


----------



## Elphaba

alastairneal said:


> I find it very surreal that we are even discussing a topic like this! Goes to show how blatantly racist we all are. it feels like browsing thru newspapers in 1939's Warsaw - 'Today jews were banned from walking on the concrete pavements and going forward will be severlely persecuted if they make eye contact with the legitimate population while venturing outdoors.'
> 
> Do all of us in this forum consider these unfortunate people as sub-humans, not worthy of even looking at other human beings? I am really very ashamed and sad... what more can i say


You have clearly missed the point of the majority of posts in this thread.

No one has referred to anyone as sub-human and indeed any thread of that nature would be deleted.

What has been discussed is differing attitudes and perceptions.

-


----------



## SBP

Elphaba said:


> You have clearly missed the point of the majority of posts in this thread.
> 
> No one has referred to anyone as sub-human and indeed any thread of that nature would be deleted.
> 
> What has been discussed is differing attitudes and perceptions.
> 
> -


Of course some people are sub-human...but then they usually become Politicians :tongue1:


----------



## Indian_Habibi

alastairneal said:


> I find it very surreal that we are even discussing a topic like this! Goes to show how blatantly racist we all are. it feels like browsing thru newspapers in 1939's Warsaw - 'Today jews were banned from walking on the concrete pavements and going forward will be severlely persecuted if they make eye contact with the legitimate population while venturing outdoors.'
> 
> Do all of us in this forum consider these unfortunate people as sub-humans, not worthy of even looking at other human beings? I am really very ashamed and sad... what more can i say


----------



## saurabh.the.expat

Greetings Folks!

I've been writing in and reading this thread for last couple of days. In a nutshell, I'd like to convey that starring others is okay if it ain't meant to be offensive.............I am said good looking and come from a respectable family as well yet I'd look any foreigner who I found good looking but yes, I'd immediately stop looking at him/her if our eyes met or if he/she seemed to find it disguisting...........My only aim would be to give a friendly smile..........and that's it..

To look others and give a friendly smile , spreads love and friendship only!..provided no offence is meant.

Hope I am clear!
Cheers,
Sau...


----------



## Jynxgirl

So today I walk outside and the poor souls are out doing yard work cutting grass again with the scissors. If I could figure out who their supreiors were, I would give them my piece of mind. I talked to someone in the buildin who said that if they were given an electronic device then less people would have a 'job' and then would be sent home. Its just utter amazement to me that an indian person would defend this. Maybe I am just a nieve american. 

I sat outside after my run this morning and watched them for a bit. They seemed uncomfortable that i was watching them. I didnt sit and stare at them like i get, but sat and watched. I was more watching as the expats came out the apartment and intentionally didnt look at them. I would say 80% of the people who live in my building are indians... 

I will NEVER get used to this extremeness....


----------



## saurabh.the.expat

Jynxgirl said:


> So today I walk outside and the poor souls are out doing yard work cutting grass again with the scissors. If I could figure out who their supreiors were, I would give them my piece of mind. I talked to someone in the buildin who said that if they were given an electronic device then less people would have a 'job' and then would be sent home. Its just utter amazement to me that an indian person would defend this. Maybe I am just a nieve american.
> 
> I sat outside after my run this morning and watched them for a bit. They seemed uncomfortable that i was watching them. I didnt sit and stare at them like i get, but sat and watched. I was more watching as the expats came out the apartment and intentionally didnt look at them. I would say 80% of the people who live in my building are indians...
> 
> I will NEVER get used to this extremeness....


Hey, Jynxgirl!

Are all those Indians who live in your building well-educated and you sure, they ain't labour class?

I'd never think of any well educated Indian could stare at other with malafide intentions........I myself would never!


----------



## Jynxgirl

Yes, I assume they are well enough educated to get a job where they can afford to live here. My point is people of any nationality, any country of origin, can walk outside, and see 20 men sitting on their haunches with 'scissors' cutting the 'grass' and avoid looking at them and thinking how wrong this is. 

No person should be subjected to such a job (weed wacker anyone?) and everyone seems to do anything to avoid acknowledging this part of dubai society. I thought in america we treated mexicans poorly but this is just terrible. 

I am dealing with the staring.. and its had to juggle the staring versus the reality of the plight of these people who I truly feel are treated like slaves, even if they did come here on their own authority.


----------



## rsinner

Jynxgirl said:


> Yes, I assume they are well enough educated to get a job where they can afford to live here. My point is people of any nationality, any country of origin, can walk outside, and see 20 men sitting on their haunches with 'scissors' cutting the 'grass' and avoid looking at them and thinking how wrong this is.
> 
> No person should be subjected to such a job (weed wacker anyone?) and everyone seems to do anything to avoid acknowledging this part of dubai society. I thought in america we treated mexicans poorly but this is just terrible.
> 
> I am dealing with the staring.. and its had to juggle the staring versus the reality of the plight of these people who I truly feel are treated like slaves, even if they did come here on their own authority.


Well in India and everywhere in the Middle East we see a number of people doing jobs *we *don't want to see them doing. 
However, if the choices one has is a) earn 1000 Dhs per month (INR 13,000 - a princely sum) after acco and food in Dubai cutting grass with scissors, b) Earn INR 3-10K in India (before food expenses), in total, doing things like working as an unskilled labourer (usually in less sanitary conditions) in India. I don't think the choice is very difficult to make for the labourers who come here
Now how about using a mower to cut the grass - I am sure the good people of Emaar/Nakheel etc etc (whoever is maintaining Disco Gardens or any other area for that matter) are business savvy enough and ruthless enough to figure out what is the most profitable for them.
And please don't judge the people living in your building. Maybe they donate to charity who help these people. Maybe they volunteer. Maybe they do something for these people which is not apparent to you when you are sitting in your balcony. Maybe they have lived there for long and realise that merely looking at the workers will not help in any way and they feel compassion towards the workers all the same. Maybe they do nothing.


----------



## Jynxgirl

My coworkers say they will be surprised if I make it 6 months here.. as I just cant get over the disparity of classes/nationalities. 

So much for my two year plan... if I really cant mentally get over it!


----------



## Nomad80

Jynxgirl said:


> Yes, I assume they are well enough educated to get a job where they can afford to live here.



You would be pretty surprised how far off you are on that one. take a trip to the labour camps sometime. wear a burkha to fend off any stares & get a glimpse at how economically bipolar the city is. 'afford to live' is such a relative term.

The very people who enforce laws are often the ones who find ways to circumvent them to bring in human weedwhackers all for the sake of economics


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## Jynxgirl

I am saying the people who live in my building are educated enough to get a decent job. The labor people do not live here. I am very aware of where and what conditions they live. I am appaled! That is the issue. I understand why they stare. They have nothing literally to do. But then I am very uncomfortable just doing basic things like going for a jog around my complex because of the group of people who just sit and stare non stop. In the beginning, I thought it had to do with me being blonde and other things, but I really think they just sit and stare at anyone and everything, without any regard. Its like their television.


----------



## Elphaba

Nicely put & fair comments rsinner. Jynxgirl, just because someone doesn't look at another person, doesn't mean they don't have any empathy for them. Dubai is a city of contrast, many of them unfair, but it may not all appear quite as it seems. Nomad80 is correct regarding working conditions for many here and in their home countries. the standards in which many labourers live are not ones we would find acceptable, but if you ever talk to any of these guys many are relatively happy and proud to be able to send monies to their families. It is rough on them being so far from home, but this is in part due to the economic situation in their home country, not here.

There are some good employers, but sadly, on the other hand, there are still many who are unscrupulous, so there is a need to those of us in a good position to help out. Please refer to my thread regarding the forthcoming book sale to see one of way of doing so.

Life is not fair and all people are never equal. Sad, but true and that applies to any country. We can do our part to help in many small ways. Donate to charitable organisations, support fundraisers, tip taxi drivers, supermarket packers etc, be friendly to anyone you come across, offer cold bottles to water to workmen near your home or work, smile. Treating people well, no matter who they are or what they do, is, in my opinion, part of basic humanity.

We can't change the world overnight, but small acts of kindness are important.

-


----------



## Jynxgirl

Just having a bit of a hard time with it.. Good posts Elphaba, Rsinner and Nomad.


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## Elphaba

I do know what you mean.  It is not going to change, not in the short term anyway, so you either have to ignore it, or go running somewhere else. It is odd to be stared at, but that is all it is, basic human curiosity.

-


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## Nomad80

*Elphaba * At the risk of brown-nosing a moderator - I have to say it's a pleasure reading your posts. very well thought out

*Jynxgirl* it's ok I DO understand where you're coming from. Hell - if Bar Rafaeli was staring at me like an owl, I'd be pretty unnerved too

ok may have exaggerated a little bit there :-|


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## chunkykitty

I can't jog or run in my country, otherwise i will be raped or robed in the middle of the day, too much crime on the streets, to guys who stare here, i can stand that. and yes, after a while, oh Gosh its almost 8 years now im in dubai, so im not paying much attention to these stares.


----------



## saurabh.the.expat

Nice job, Elphaba...

I have tried all my way to say the same thing you said above. 

Hope Jynxgal will find it worthy to note! 

Cheers Guys!


----------



## SBP

Nomad80 said:


> *Elphaba * At the risk of brown-nosing a moderator - I have to say it's a pleasure reading your posts. very well thought out
> 
> *Jynxgirl* it's ok I DO understand where you're coming from. Hell - if Bar Rafaeli was staring at me like an owl, I'd be pretty unnerved too
> 
> ok may have exaggerated a little bit there :-|


Need a tissue?


----------



## Indian_Habibi

:clap2: to the drama queens


----------



## SBP

Jynxgirl said:


> Just having a bit of a hard time with it.. Good posts Elphaba, Rsinner and Nomad.


Remain positive and just smile


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## sslkumar

>> If you are brown and have traveled around in Eastern Europe (Poland and Latvia ) then you will understand the looks you get there and sometimes people even come and tell you that you look "Exotic" as until recently they have not met any brown person. 

That is bound to happen isn't it.

But i get stared by almost all types of people incl. indians. This never happened while i lived in ottawa or Winnipeg but so very common in toronto. i get irritated when a male looks at me that way but dont mind girls staring(i will smile back).


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## sslkumar

>> If you are brown and have traveled around in Eastern Europe (Poland and Latvia ) then you will understand the looks you get there and sometimes people even come and tell you that you look "Exotic" as until recently they have not met any brown person. 

That is bound to happen isn't it.

But i get stared by almost all types of people incl. indians. This never happened while i lived in ottawa or Winnipeg but so very common in toronto. i get irritated when a male looks at me that way but dont mind girls staring(i will smile back).


----------



## Neelam1982

I was just browsing the forum and saw this, laughed, and had to put in my 2 cents. Me and my husband visited Dubai back in April and he is Pakistani. I am from the UK, born and raised and i flew out to Dubai, whilst he flew out from Pakistan for our vacation. This was his first time outside the country, so this was a big adventure for him. I did find that he would stare a LOT at white people, male, female the lot. He would just stare at them in awe, like he had never seen anything like it.... and in all honesty he never has. He thinks white people are 'beautiful' and 'angelic' looking. He didn't say that, but I know thats what he thinks. Numerous times I had to tell him to stop staring. The thing is, that its not that he has any perverted intentions, in fact it was just curiosity. Put yourself in their shoes. You are from a small village or even a city in India/Pakistan, where it is still quite rare to see white people, and you come to Dubai for the first time - you are not accustomed to seeing people from other ethnic groups before, especially if you are from a village where everyone knows everyone. White people for them is something you only see on 'TV' and when its in front of you face to face.... wouldn't you be in awe? Imagine seeing your favourite celebrity in flesh. Wouldn't you stare, forget staring, you'd look at every inch of their body and most probably trying to stop yourself screaming with excitement. This is all it is. Curiosity. I think its kinda cute. 

My husband sometimes is in awe of me - even though I am 'brown'.... its just this 'new' thing, something different to what they are used to.


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## shinny_girl

Simply because they are not used to see what they see in you back in their countries....a bit of a culture thing...


----------



## Tropicana

Neelam1982 said:


> I
> *This was his first time outside the country, so this was a big adventure for him. *
> 
> *He thinks white people are 'beautiful' and 'angelic' looking. He didn't say that, but I know thats what he thinks.* Numerous times I had to tell him to stop staring.
> 
> . You are from a small village or even a city in India/Pakistan, where it is still quite rare to see white people, and you come to Dubai for the first time -
> 
> .


Interesting, however, there is one question that keps striking my mind after I read your post, and I would guess quite a few people will have the same question......


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## pamela0810

Neelam1982 said:


> He thinks white people are 'beautiful' and 'angelic' looking. He didn't say that, but I know thats what he thinks.


I have yet to find an angelic looking white man! Maybe I'm not *staring* the right way!


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## Fatenhappy

pamela0810 said:


> I have yet to find an angelic looking white man! Maybe I'm not *staring* the right way!


Pamey ... my hearts broken ... how could you say such a thing .... 

(To answer the original question of this thread) ..... Seriously though get over it ... I always find their (Sub Asian men's) look of inquisitiveness disappears 99% of the time if you just smile and say hello .... won't hurt you, you know! Never know you might almost go all warm and fuzzy for doing something nice .... then again, judging from some of the responses here ... may be not! ... :confused2: ...:eyebrows:


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## saima1215

Whenever I get the ultimate stares I just ask them straight up, 'Is there a problem? Then why are you staring?' That's how the staring stops. It's best to be straight forward sometimes than to just ignore. Ignoring tells them that it's ok to do it and that nobody will say anything to them.


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## pamela0810

I agree with Fatenhappy. Besides, everyone stares...staring is not limited to a particular nationality or culture. But then again, we're in Dubai and stereotyping is what we seem to do best out here.


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## Mr Rossi

I guess the ones that touch Filipino girls while sunbathing or under the water are the most inquisitive of all?


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## pamela0810

Mr Rossi said:


> I guess the ones that touch Filipino girls while sunbathing or under the water are the most inquisitive of all?


LOL!! And you know that HOW Mr. Rossi??


----------



## Fatenhappy

pamela0810 said:


> I agree with Fatenhappy. Besides, everyone stares...staring is not limited to a particular nationality or culture. But then again, we're in Dubai and stereotyping is what we seem to do best out here.


Interesting thought Pamey ... if an Asian man does it he's staring .... so then if a caucasian man does it, he's perving ! .... :confused2: ... so whats the diference they are probably both doing the same thing .... !


----------



## chay14ph

saima1215 said:


> Whenever I get the ultimate stares I just ask them straight up, 'Is there a problem? Then why are you staring?' That's how the staring stops. It's best to be straight forward sometimes than to just ignore. Ignoring tells them that it's ok to do it and that nobody will say anything to them.


I do the same thing. I go to the person and ask him upfront” Is there a problem? Why are you staring me like that?”
It’s the way they stare. People stare regardless of nationality. If they stare at you with admiration that is fine but you know what I mean… 

Sometimes you need to speak up and speak for yourself that you are not comfortable with this.

Offtopic. One time I was walking home from a nearby grocery, there was a car following me, he was saying things I don’t remember trying to get my attention. 
I stopped and confronted this driver and said “ Why are you following me? Do I know you?
Then he left.


----------



## Mr Rossi

pamela0810 said:


> LOL!! And you know that HOW Mr. Rossi??


From female, Filipino friends that stopped going to the beach a long time ago.


----------



## Guest

Fatenhappy said:


> Interesting thought Pamey ... if an Asian man does it he's staring .... so then if a caucasian man does it, he's perving ! .... :confused2: ... so whats the diference they are probably both doing the same thing .... !


The difference, I think, is in the intention. If a causasian man is staring to try and make the other person uncomfortable or to intimidate, then it's harrassment. If an Asian man does it because he has never seen a white person, that's another thing. Big difference between some creep staring at your chest or looking you up and down and someone who is just staring out of curiosity


----------



## Fatenhappy

nola said:


> The difference, I think, is in the intention. If a causasian man is staring to try and make the other person uncomfortable or to intimidate, then it's harrassment. If an Asian man does it because he has never seen a white person, that's another thing. Big difference between some creep staring at your chest or looking you up and down and someone who is just staring out of curiosity


Absolutely .... :clap2:


----------



## Rahulma

I cannot believe someone posted this "Why do people stare?"....

Let me tell you this: If you look different from the others people will stare at you.

Men will stare at you if you are HOT and we expect men to be more "discrete"; Maybe our fellow Indians and Pakistanis don't know how to do it well. 

Imagine a guy who was raised in a country where 95% are only tanned Indians, if they see a Caucasian they will stare; I would anyway.


----------



## pamela0810

My post might come across as a generalization but since this thread does refer to people from my side of the world, I'm taking the liberty of highlighting another aspect that no one's really brought up. 
I think the original poster does have a point. People from my region do stare, a lot, at white women or Far Eastern women or any woman not from their country. One of the reasons is because they look different, another is because of all the emphasis that the subcontinental people place on fairness, in women particularly. In India, being fair is like a status symbol. Women who are lighter skinned are always preferred over the more dark, tanned ones. It's been going on for generations and will continue to be this way. It's ingrained in our culture. Our Indian TV channels are riddled with ads promoting different kinds of fairness creams, it's sickening! So, when people from the rural parts of our country are brought here to work as labourers on a contract basis, they are fascinated to see so many women that look so very different from the ones that they're used to seeing all their lives. Some of them probably don't even realise that they are staring, but I bet you, most of the time, a lot of them have very rude thoughts in their head, which, to be fair, is a standard reaction by most men who've seen women that they find attractive.


----------



## LiverpoolMan

A few months ago when i was on a group trip to china, we would get stopped in the streets while people took pictures with us and of us, alot of time when we were just walking past theyd snap furiously away with their cameras. This happened especially if i was with on eof the girls who had red hair, as she was a particular fascination. I dont think its meant in an offensive or rude way, theyr are simply seeing some one or something theyve only ever seen on TV and in cinemas in films etc.

Its normal to be fascinated with someone or something you arent accustomed to, if i saw a blue man walking down the street i would certainly stare! Also while it may be rude in our culture its normal to them, and theyre unaware that it is uncomfortable to us.


----------



## Gavtek

It's typical female logic though, go out and spend a fortune on a nice dress, spend half a day and another fortune getting your hair done, spend the other half putting make up on, waxing, fake tan, etc, etc, all to look nice, then have a whinge if anyone looks in their general direction.

If I spent half the time and money on my looks as some women do, I'd be demanding people stopped and stared at me when I walked past


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## LiverpoolMan

haha! its soo true! Moan if they get attention, moan if they dont.


----------



## pamela0810

Gavtek said:


> It's typical female logic though, go out and spend a fortune on a nice dress, spend half a day and another fortune getting your hair done, spend the other half putting make up on, waxing, fake tan, etc, etc, all to look nice, then have a whinge if anyone looks in their general direction.
> 
> If I spent half the time and money on my looks as some women do, I'd be demanding people stopped and stared at me when I walked past


Hey, we're women! When have we ever been able to make up our minds?!


----------



## Fatenhappy

Gavtek said:


> It's typical female logic though, go out and spend a fortune on a nice dress, spend half a day and another fortune getting your hair done, spend the other half putting make up on, waxing, fake tan, etc, etc, all to look nice, then have a whinge if anyone looks in their general direction.
> 
> If I spent half the time and money on my looks as some women do, I'd be demanding people stopped and stared at me when I walked past


From that aspect Gav .... absolutely got to agree ....

Just think how much money some of the premadonas spend on them selves re "having to keep up with the Jones etc" ... phew .... I could do something useful like, buy a new set of golf clubs or boat with that ....   

......................... :focus:


----------



## ccr

Gavtek said:


> If I spent half the time and money on my looks as some women do, I'd be demanding people stopped and stared at me when I walked past


May be the issue has more to do with WHO staring rather than WHY...


----------



## Guest

Gavtek said:


> It's typical female logic though, go out and spend a fortune on a nice dress, spend half a day and another fortune getting your hair done, spend the other half putting make up on, waxing, fake tan, etc, etc, all to look nice, then have a whinge if anyone looks in their general direction.
> 
> If I spent half the time and money on my looks as some women do, I'd be demanding people stopped and stared at me when I walked past


Oh definitely, I really enjoy having some guy staring at my chest instead of my face when I'm talking to him. And it's particularly enjoyable having my crotch included in the assessment, especially when his eyes are moving up and down my body slowly. Yes, indeed. Oh, and it's SOO flattering when he flicks his tongue in and out quickly while making sucking noises. Yep, quite a feather in my cap, especially when it's some short, ugly, fat guy with body odour.

That's why I spend a fortune getting my hair done, getting dressed up, etc. But I'm trying not to whinge so much when I don't get the attention I mentioned above.


----------



## $ammy

pamela0810 said:


> My post might come across as a generalization but since this thread does refer to people from my side of the world, I'm taking the liberty of highlighting another aspect that no one's really brought up.
> I think the original poster does have a point. People from my region do stare, a lot, at white women or Far Eastern women or any woman not from their country. One of the reasons is because they look different, another is because of all the emphasis that the subcontinental people place on fairness, in women particularly. In India, being fair is like a status symbol. Women who are lighter skinned are always preferred over the more dark, tanned ones. It's been going on for generations and will continue to be this way. It's ingrained in our culture. Our Indian TV channels are riddled with ads promoting different kinds of fairness creams, it's sickening! So, when people from the rural parts of our country are brought here to work as labourers on a contract basis, they are fascinated to see so many women that look so very different from the ones that they're used to seeing all their lives. Some of them probably don't even realise that they are staring, but I bet you, most of the time, a lot of them have very rude thoughts in their head, which, to be fair, is a standard reaction by most men who've seen women that they find attractive.



:clap2:


----------



## $ammy

Very interesting read.. this thread.. different perceptions and thoughts on an interesting topic.
I'd like to make a few statements here:
Firstly, not all Indians and Pakistanis stare or stare with the wrong ideas.
Secondly, get it very clear that not all Indias and Pakistanis stare at people.

I'd like to back everyone who said that people just stare at anything they see that is really different. I happen to stare at people or hairdos or dress senses of people if it really catches my eye. But I don't stare at them on the whole but its just because of what makes them different from the others.
Women are always gonna be stared at by the labour class fellows who work here. This is primarily because these people come from places (mostly rural) having seen only their kind of people, and probably the only places they have seen a fair skinned man or woman was on a poster on the wall or an ad on TV. Now its difficult to judge what goes on in the minds of people when they look at someone.

I'd take the Atlantis at Palm Jumeirah as an example to explain another fact. Ive been to the place over a hundred times now and we often come across scantily clad white skins there and very few indians striding along. When i walk in there I barely notice any of these foreigners bcause they are everywhere and its just normal to find them there. However, If i saw a foreign couple at an Indian hypermarket, it would catch my eye and it still does everytime i see someone who is not Indian/ Fillipino at the Lulu Hypermarket!!!! 
Two months ago, my cousin came over for a visit to Dubai. His first time here out of India, I had taken him to the complex at Atlantis and his jaw dropped to see so many foreigners and scantily clad women while I just kept walking. He actually asked me how I didn't notice al this and all I told him was that its very much usual here.!!!

There is a clear differnce between looking and staring!!

Its a bit disappointiing to get the idea that some people think that all Indians and Pakistanis stare with perverted thoughts. MAybe you should try smiling at them next time and see wht happens next!!!


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## Guest

$ammy said:


> Very interesting read.. this thread.. different perceptions and thoughts on an interesting topic.
> I'd like to make a few statements here:
> Firstly, not all Indians and Pakistanis stare or stare with the wrong ideas.
> Secondly, get it very clear that not all Indias and Pakistanis stare at people.
> 
> I'd like to back everyone who said that people just stare at anything they see that is really different. I happen to stare at people or hairdos or dress senses of people if it really catches my eye. But I don't stare at them on the whole but its just because of what makes them different from the others.
> Women are always gonna be stared at by the labour class fellows who work here. This is primarily because these people come from places (mostly rural) having seen only their kind of people, and probably the only places they have seen a fair skinned man or woman was on a poster on the wall or an ad on TV. Now its difficult to judge what goes on in the minds of people when they look at someone.
> 
> I'd take the Atlantis at Palm Jumeirah as an example to explain another fact. Ive been to the place over a hundred times now and we often come across scantily clad white skins there and very few indians striding along. When i walk in there I barely notice any of these foreigners bcause they are everywhere and its just normal to find them there. However, If i saw a foreign couple at an Indian hypermarket, it would catch my eye and it still does everytime i see someone who is not Indian/ Fillipino at the Lulu Hypermarket!!!!
> Two months ago, my cousin came over for a visit to Dubai. His first time here out of India, I had taken him to the complex at Atlantis and his jaw dropped to see so many foreigners and scantily clad women while I just kept walking. He actually asked me how I didn't notice al this and all I told him was that its very much usual here.!!!
> 
> There is a clear differnce between looking and staring!!
> 
> Its a bit disappointiing to get the idea that some people think that all Indians and Pakistanis stare with perverted thoughts. MAybe you should try smiling at them next time and see wht happens next!!!


I didn't think that was the intent of most of the posters, i.e. to suggest they start with perverted thoughts. But the fact is, some people do have that intention, no matter what their background/culture, etc.

I think I made the point in an earlier post also that there is a clear difference between looking and staring, as well as the intention behind it.


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## LiverpoolMan

> Oh definitely, I really enjoy having some guy staring at my chest instead of my face when I'm talking to him.


If you dont want your chest stared at dont wear a revealing top. Simple. You cant have it both ways. 

Am also sure if nobody notices you, you would also be complaining, and unfortunately we dont live in a world where we can chose the happy medium in every situation to suit out moods on a daily basis. This is the basis behind the way the arab women dress here, they dont show off their bodys as they dont wear tight or revealing clothes, and thus dont get disgusting 'fat ugly guys with body oddur starring at them'. Each to their own.


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## pamela0810

LiverpoolMan said:


> If you dont want your chest stared at dont wear a revealing top. Simple. You cant have it both ways.
> 
> Am also sure if nobody notices you, you would also be complaining, and unfortunately we dont live in a world where we can chose the happy medium in every situation to suit out moods on a daily basis. This is the basis behind the way the arab women dress here, they dont show off their bodys as they dont wear tight or revealing clothes, and thus dont get disgusting 'fat ugly guys with body oddur starring at them'. Each to their own.


You obviously haven't met the Arab women in the nightclubs then, have you? Their dress sense is a whole different story altogether!


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## Guest

LiverpoolMan said:


> If you dont want your chest stared at dont wear a revealing top. Simple. You cant have it both ways.
> 
> Am also sure if nobody notices you, you would also be complaining, and unfortunately we dont live in a world where we can chose the happy medium in every situation to suit out moods on a daily basis. This is the basis behind the way the arab women dress here, they dont show off their bodys as they dont wear tight or revealing clothes, and thus dont get disgusting 'fat ugly guys with body oddur starring at them'. Each to their own.


Why do you assume I wear revealing tops? 

You know absolutely nothing about me, so to make a sweeping statement that I would be complaining if nobody noticed me, or that I change my moods on a daily basis is just ridiculous.

People stare (OK, men) at women with the intention to intimidate or make them uncomfortable regardless of what they wear. It does make a convenient excuse to blame it on her, though, if she happens to be wearing something that you consider revealing. Also convenient to say that women change their minds on a daily basis and that they want it both ways. Don't assume that women want men staring at them - that is your perception, not ours!


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## Gavtek

nola said:


> Oh definitely, I really enjoy having some guy staring at my chest instead of my face when I'm talking to him. And it's particularly enjoyable having my crotch included in the assessment, especially when his eyes are moving up and down my body slowly. Yes, indeed. Oh, and it's SOO flattering when he flicks his tongue in and out quickly while making sucking noises. Yep, quite a feather in my cap, especially when it's some short, ugly, fat guy with body odour.
> 
> That's why I spend a fortune getting my hair done, getting dressed up, etc. But I'm trying not to whinge so much when I don't get the attention I mentioned above.


Well that's more harassment than staring I'd say, but there's always going to be exceptions


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## Guest

Gavtek said:


> Well that's more harassment than staring I'd say, but there's always going to be exceptions


Sure it's harrassment. And that is my point - it's the intention. Staring out of curiosity is much different.


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## Fatenhappy

nola said:


> Oh definitely, I really enjoy having some guy staring at my chest instead of my face when I'm talking to him. And it's particularly enjoyable having my crotch included in the assessment, especially when his eyes are moving up and down my body slowly. Yes, indeed. Oh, and it's SOO flattering when he flicks his tongue in and out quickly while making sucking noises. Yep, quite a feather in my cap, especially when it's some short, ugly, fat guy with body odour.
> 
> That's why I spend a fortune getting my hair done, getting dressed up, etc. But I'm trying not to whinge so much when I don't get the attention I mentioned above.


.....  ..... :clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2: ...... yeh but Nola you got admit your hot and you're worth looking at too .......


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## Guest

Fatenhappy said:


> .....  ..... :clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2::clap2: ...... yeh but Nola you got admit your hot and you're worth looking at too .......
> 
> So true::humble:
> 
> Hey, it ain't easy being a sex symbol! :bored: It's hard to please all my fans, all the time:noidea:


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## Guest

pamela0810 said:


> People from my region do stare, a lot, at white women or Far Eastern women or any woman not from their country. One of the reasons is because they look different, another is because of all the emphasis that the subcontinental people place on fairness, in women particularly. In India, being fair is like a status symbol. Women who are lighter skinned are always preferred over the more dark, tanned ones. It's been going on for generations and will continue to be this way. It's ingrained in our culture. Our Indian TV channels are riddled with ads promoting different kinds of fairness creams, it's sickening! So, when people from the rural parts of our country are brought here to work as labourers on a contract basis, they are fascinated to see so many women that look so very different from the ones that they're used to seeing all their lives. Some of them probably don't even realise that they are staring, but I bet you, most of the time, a lot of them have very rude thoughts in their head, which, to be fair, is a standard reaction by most men who've seen women that they find attractive.


A fair assessment, and one that applies through SE Asia too. Ironically, just as it was (and still is to an extent) seen as a status symbol for the fair-skinned Western woman to appear tanned (ie she has the funds and leisure time to go on holiday to sunnier climes), the wealthier Indian/Thai/Malayan will spend money to ensure they don't look like the 'common' labourers working the fields in the burning tropical sun. The whiter the skin the better, as it symbolises wealth and leisure time spent in their cool air-conditioned homes, not having to work for a living.


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## Jynxgirl

In 8 months, I am still not used to it. 

I can be in jeans and a baggy tshirt, and its no difference then a sleeveless top and capris. 

The only thing that has happened, is I have become less defiant and less aggressive of trying to combat it. I just dont have the energy. I would rather stay in the western areas to lessen the issue. But go off the beaten path, even being with another person doesnt seem to help. The only thing I have found that does help, is to always go with a male. So I know they know that its not ok to just stare! They just dont care...


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## Gavtek

nola said:


> Sure it's harrassment. And that is my point - it's the intention. Staring out of curiosity is much different.


I'm kinda just playing devil's advocate, but you're out at night wearing a nice dress, all made up, etc, and you see a guy looking at you for a good couple of seconds and smiling to himself, is that really a problem?

They're staring, not out of curiosity but out of admiration, they like what they see. They're not raising their eyebrows, winking, licking their lips or making slurpy noises, just having a good old fashioned stare and thinking 'wow she looks hot'.

Obviously, it may be nicer if people were a bit more subtle about it, but it's not a big deal is it?


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## $ammy

Jynxgirl said:


> In 8 months, I am still not used to it.
> 
> I can be in jeans and a baggy tshirt, and its no difference then a sleeveless top and capris.
> 
> The only thing that has happened, is I have become less defiant and less aggressive of trying to combat it. I just dont have the energy. I would rather stay in the western areas to lessen the issue. But go off the beaten path, even being with another person doesnt seem to help. The only thing I have found that does help, is to always go with a male. So I know they know that its not ok to just stare! They just dont care...


Maybe its because a really attractive women that you catch everyone's eye......


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## Guest

Gavtek said:


> I'm kinda just playing devil's advocate, but you're out at night wearing a nice dress, all made up, etc, and you see a guy looking at you for a good couple of seconds and smiling to himself, is that really a problem?
> 
> They're staring, not out of curiosity but out of admiration, they like what they see. They're not raising their eyebrows, winking, licking their lips or making slurpy noises, just having a good old fashioned stare and thinking 'wow she looks hot'.
> 
> Obviously, it may be nicer if people were a bit more subtle about it, but it's not a big deal is it?


No, or at least not to me, and that is not what I am saying. But again, looking is different than staring. And again, the intention behind the looking/staring is different. Most people, both women and men, make some effort when they are going out to try and look half decent and usually don't mind if someone notices the effort they made. But they do mind if someone makes the slurpy noises, etc. - because the intention behind it is to make the person feel uncomfortable

People get looked at for all kinds of reasons, eg., colourful tattoos, eccentric clothes, disability, etc. and they will get looked at. But to stare at them to try and make them uncomfortable is wrong.


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## LiverpoolMan

I wasnt making a generalising statment nola, nor was it about you, if you reread it, it was intended to be a general statement. I made the comment about revealing tops because thats when men tend to look at womens brests, when there is cleavage on show. Ive never known any guy looking at a girls chest/down her top if she was wearing a descreet and modest top or whatever.



> You obviously haven't met the Arab women in the nightclubs then, have you? Their dress sense is a whole different story altogether!


I think we both know i was reffering to the way the local arab women dress.


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## Guest

LiverpoolMan said:


> I wasnt making a generalising statment nola, nor was it about you, if you reread it, it was intended to be a general statement. I made the comment about revealing tops because thats when men tend to look at womens brests, when there is cleavage on show. Ive never known any guy looking at a girls chest/down her top if she was wearing a descreet and modest top or whatever.
> 
> 
> 
> I think we both know i was reffering to the way the local arab women dress.


Maybe you don't know any men who stare at a woman's breasts when she is wearing a "discreet or modest" top, whatever that means to you, but it happens. Trust me on that

You made a statement that you are sure I would be complaining if I wasn't getting attention. Whether or not it was directed at me, it's just a silly generalization with no basis in fact. I don't know one single woman who complains because she isn't being stared at.


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## vona62

Goldfish stare, why because with 3 seconds of attention span everythings going to get your attention...if you worked with some folks long enough you'll get the idea....


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## sriikanth

Sean2008 said:


> Why do Indians and Pakistanis in Dubai keep on staring at others? It's getting annoying and I know it's not just me.


dont worry too much about others what they are doing ..cause its none of your business and whoever these guys are staring at and if they have an issue will sort it out....dont complicate your life .....or is it that you are upset that they are not staring at you.


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