# Expats in Bacolod



## ianmarie (Jul 4, 2012)

My wife (negronese native) is insistant that we retire in ******. We currently reside in my home country Australia. I have been there 5 or 6 times in the 18 years we have been married. I have never sucessfully picked up the language used by her family and friends (they can understand me but I have no hope in knowing what their conversations are about). Is their an english speaking expat community or association in or around Bacolod in ******?


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Living In *******



ianmarie said:


> My wife (negronese native) is insistant that we retire in ******. We currently reside in my home country Australia. I have been there 5 or 6 times in the 18 years we have been married. I have never sucessfully picked up the language used by her family and friends (they can understand me but I have no hope in knowing what their conversations are about). Is their an english speaking expat community or association in or around Bacolod in ******?


Hi Ian-marie,

I've lived in country now for nine plus years. I've not been to ****** so not sure about an expat group or area. My first question really is - - - are you really sure you want to place yourself living close to her family? The requests for help (mostly financial) will never stop. *It just won't stop.* For many, it ends up being a deal breaker and the marriage however good, ends up in the can. Also, if in a remote area, you could be seen by some members of her family as worth more dead than alive.
If you are determined to live there, the first thing to do is take a fact finding trip to try to be sure you really want to live in the islands. Locals in that area will or would know if there are expats around. A personal visit with your embassy in Manila would be of help maybe. Also, be sure to pay a visit to the Swagman Hotel Bar/restaurant in Manila. Many from Australia there all the time and you'd get some good pointers from some of the mates staying there. 
Don't feel bad about the language thing. I still don't understand the local language even after all these years. Most of the time it's a blessing to not understand as I don't have to be involved with useless chatter and TV shows.


Gene


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## ianmarie (Jul 4, 2012)

Gene 

Thanks for your concern and you raise really valid points. But the financial requests are already happening so I thought why work my ring out here and keep helping them out, when i can live over there, swing in a hammock, make them work for any handouts. I really can't begrudged my wife for wanting to end here days with her family around her, as she has had to put up with mine for 18 years. As you know family is everything to them, when I am lucky (or unlucky) to see any of mine once a year now. 

Ian


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Home*



ianmarie said:


> Gene
> 
> Thanks for your concern and you raise really valid points. But the financial requests are already happening so I thought why work my ring out here and keep helping them out, when i can live over there, swing in a hammock, make them work for any handouts. I really can't begrudged my wife for wanting to end here days with her family around her, as she has had to put up with mine for 18 years. As you know family is everything to them, when I am lucky (or unlucky) to see any of mine once a year now.
> 
> Ian


Hi Ian,

Yea I can understand that for sure. Anyway, life here is far less stressful than where you or is are from and much less expensive too. Any idea yet when you two will make the move?

Gene


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## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

Ian,

I have been thru Bacolod but never stayed there. It is on the coast surrounded by sugar cane plantations to the mountains. Beautiful area really. I couldn't speak to how many expats are there. The city proper seems to be pretty sprawling (several km wide). The food is really good (especially their version of grilled chicken). I am sure that they have a couple of malls and plenty of restaurants. Not so sure on the medical care. It does have an airport so that is a plus. Also, it has a port so that you could go to Iloilo via ferry with ease. I do know on the other side of the island (****** Oriental) the town of Dumaguete (about 5-6 hours drive, 8-10 hours bus ride) has a large population of expats. It is a smaller community but very nice. The whole island has issues with power and your internet will drop out frequently. Dumaguete also has an airport and ferry port (access to Cebu). Maybe Dumaguete could be an option (keeps her happy with being in ****** but keeps the family distanced).

On the financial requests. They will never end and being there to get something out of them for the $ is not realistic (if anything I am sure that they will increase not decrease). I am with Gene on the separation from them physically helps. 

For myself, I told her in the beginning that I would not be a cash cow for her family. I also went on further to explain to her how it will break our relationship and if she truly wants to be with me that she will keep those requests at bay. What I did do was procure a safe place for her immediate family (Mother, Father, 2 siblings) to live. I give her a small allowance and if she wants to share any of it with her family it's on her. It took almost 5 years but the extended family finally got the point "no money from him". There are no real hard feelings within the family from what I have gleaned from her. The place to live was the kicker. By me doing that, her parents now feel embarassed to further on requests to me/her for $. They realize that they have a good thing going on and don't want to jeopardize it.

I have known many expats (Aussies, Brits, Americans) that have felt the pressure and caved in to support. In the end, most either split up or were bitter from this issue alone. They can even try Job's patience. Some have tried to set up a store, buy a trike, etc. to help the extended family members to gain financial independence. But rarely do these strategies work. Usually because the family members have no concept of a business plan, operating capital, profit, etc. and find it's much easier to just to go to you or your wife to ask for more $.

My wife fully appreciates being separated from them (Subic vs Mindanao). She doesn't have to deal with the daily drama. Has less headaches, enjoys the peace, quiet, safety and freedom that she has here. As she is driving now, she appreciates the lack of traffic in the freeport and the ease of movement.

Just my 2cents and stuff to think over,

Jon


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Agree*



jon1 said:


> Ian,
> 
> I have been thru Bacolod but never stayed there. It is on the coast surrounded by sugar cane plantations to the mountains. Beautiful area really. I couldn't speak to how many expats are there. The city proper seems to be pretty sprawling (several km wide). The food is really good (especially their version of grilled chicken). I am sure that they have a couple of malls and plenty of restaurants. Not so sure on the medical care. It does have an airport so that is a plus. Also, it has a port so that you could go to Iloilo via ferry with ease. I do know on the other side of the island (****** Oriental) the town of Dumaguete (about 5-6 hours drive, 8-10 hours bus ride) has a large population of expats. It is a smaller community but very nice. The whole island has issues with power and your internet will drop out frequently. Dumaguete also has an airport and ferry port (access to Cebu). Maybe Dumaguete could be an option (keeps her happy with being in ****** but keeps the family distanced).
> 
> ...


I have to agree with all you said here Jon. My wife also appreciates the distance from family and family issues.
We all love our wives but every family here it seems has its bad or dangerous eggs too. Sometimes, if they can't beg, borrow, or steal from us what they want of think they need- they could kill us for it. Our wives may be the greatest blessings in our lives but other members of their families can be downright dangerous. Nuf said.

Gene


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## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

Gene and Viol said:


> I have to agree with all you said here Jon. My wife also appreciates the distance from family and family issues.
> We all love our wives but every family here it seems has its bad or dangerous eggs too. Sometimes, if they can't beg, borrow, or steal from us what they want of think they need- they could kill us for it. Our wives may be the greatest blessings in our lives but other members of their families can be downright dangerous. Nuf said.
> 
> Gene


Yep Gene, you are so correct. Our partners are our true blessing and worth their weight in gold.


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## ianmarie (Jul 4, 2012)

Gene and Viol said:


> I have to agree with all you said here Jon. My wife also appreciates the distance from family and family issues.
> We all love our wives but every family here it seems has its bad or dangerous eggs too. Sometimes, if they can't beg, borrow, or steal from us what they want of think they need- they could kill us for it. Our wives may be the greatest blessings in our lives but other members of their families can be downright dangerous. Nuf said.
> 
> Gene


Guys

I get your point of view, I really do, and I have expressed the same opinions to my "cheese and kisses". But sometimes " the devil you know is better than the devil you don't". As I said before I have been there half a dozen times and met most of them. Her 4 brothers, 1 sister, 17 neice and nephews and 12 offspring (which increases by one or two every year. This is the complete opposite to home where we only have each other (no kids). The point of this exercise is to get away from the rat race, play plenty of golf and have some family contact for my missus. Being an ex coalminer I was always trained to have a second egress (another way out). So this won't be any different.

Cheers 
Ian


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Coal mining*



ianmarie said:


> Guys
> 
> I get your point of view, I really do, and I have expressed the same opinions to my "cheese and kisses". But sometimes " the devil you know is better than the devil you don't". As I said before I have been there half a dozen times and met most of them. Her 4 brothers, 1 sister, 17 neice and nephews and 12 offspring (which increases by one or two every year. This is the complete opposite to home where we only have each other (no kids). The point of this exercise is to get away from the rat race, play plenty of golf and have some family contact for my missus. Being an ex coalminer I was always trained to have a second egress (another way out). So this won't be any different.
> 
> ...


Coal mining Ian? Did you or do you live over by Collinsville? I have a friend that lives there and plenty of mines in that area.


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## ianmarie (Jul 4, 2012)

Gene and Viol said:


> Coal mining Ian? Did you or do you live over by Collinsville? I have a friend that lives there and plenty of mines in that area.


No Gene

I am from New South Wales and was a service tradesman that kept the underground machinery ie continuous miners, feeder breakers and conveyor drives operational. I got as far north as Oakey Creek (Bowen Basin area Cental Queensland) on the the tools but now work as workshop manager overseeing all these repairs in a workshop near Newcastle NSW. I used to sell parts to Collinsville, but not since 1999.

PS 
I appreciate the correspondence.

Ian


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

Don't know if you need any more suggestions but I'll add a little. Iloilo and the surrounding area is also a decent place to be. They have a new Airport and where the old airport was, very close to Mandinourro,is now being redone into a Commercial/Housing area. At least you would be some distance but reasonably close to the Family. I guess we all look at things slightly different but I like quite a bit of space from family on both sides. 

Fred


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Places*



fmartin_gila said:


> Don't know if you need any more suggestions but I'll add a little. Iloilo and the surrounding area is also a decent place to be. They have a new Airport and where the old airport was, very close to Mandinourro,is now being redone into a Commercial/Housing area. At least you would be some distance but reasonably close to the Family. I guess we all look at things slightly different but I like quite a bit of space from family on both sides.
> 
> Fred


That's some good information I had not heard of. Do you by chance have contact info/website for the housing area? Also, if you have any photos of the areas there please post them here as well.


Thanks...


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

I don't really have any solid info on the conversion of the old Airport. Last October while visiting some in-laws in that area who live in Mandarrio Barangay and in Jaro Barangay we were riding around sightseeing and the workers were cleaning up the old Airport and it was brought to my attention that it was to be a new development, I think with the hopes I might do something, but that was as far as it went. I don't even recall any names being mentioned. I would guess if one were to be at all interested in the area, it would have to be investigated. As I do remember, there was an already built up area right beside and along the space which would have been the runway on one side and the road from Iloilo City to Mandinarrio ran the full length on the other side of that property. That's about all I know of it as I had pretty much dismissed it and just happened to think of it while reading this thread.

Fred


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## BrianO (Feb 2, 2013)

ianmarie said:


> My wife (negronese native) is insistant that we retire in ******. We currently reside in my home country Australia. I have been there 5 or 6 times in the 18 years we have been married. I have never sucessfully picked up the language used by her family and friends (they can understand me but I have no hope in knowing what their conversations are about). Is their an english speaking expat community or association in or around Bacolod in ******?


There is a group that meets every first Saturday of the Month at Nature's Village Resort!


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## ILoveAFilipina (Dec 21, 2012)

Been to Dumaguete a couple of times (also on ******) and it is quite a nice town and has direct flights to Manila. Never felt threatened there and there is a bit of an expat community visible - especially along the sea front promenade... First time I went shopping opportunities were quite limited but there are a couple of decent malls in the town now...

Interested in the various comments re. living apart from the family. My mahal herself has suggested that when/if we do get around to buying/building something then it should not be in Angeles because she does not want to live near any family apart from her mum/dad as she doesn't trust her aunties/uncles/cousin. I actually thought it was a bit weird but I see now that it is pretty sensible - so kind of happy that she suggested it herself

Luckily this will not be an issue for the the foreseeable future as I wont be moving to the Philippines soon anyway.


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## ianmarie (Jul 4, 2012)

Thanks for that. I actually met an aussie who has had to go back to OZ for a while). He was going to introduce me around to that same group of expats but I got sick. I was there for New Year but caught a bout of dengue fever so the put a dampener on my 3 week holidays.


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## Mikael Swenson (Mar 22, 2013)

BrianO said:


> There is a group that meets every first Saturday of the Month at Nature's Village Resort!


Do you know what time at the Natures Village resort, i would like to com next saturday. Kind regards Mikael


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## Phil_expat (Jan 3, 2011)

Gene and Viol said:


> Hi Ian-marie
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Two things in ianmarie favor are he has been with his wife 18 years and been there 5 or 6 times. Too many guys make a commitment in only a few days and never visit the area in the Philippine where they want to settle. I too have not picked up the language. I did try but since I travel so much I encountered so many dialects in Philippines I gave up! As far as money is concern, I give my wife enough allowance she can gives money to her family. Ianmarie you should consider doing this too! Better she gives the money and you not involved! Once you start there is no end. My wife’s father drinks a lot and has a bad temper. He will be laid off of his job this year. Because of the age discrimination in the Philippines it is unlikely he will find another job. I could be worth more dead than alive to her family. I am concern!


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## sysop32 (Mar 17, 2013)

Gene and Viol said:


> Don't feel bad about the language thing. I still don't understand the local language even after all these years. Most of the time it's a blessing to not understand as I don't have to be involved with useless chatter and TV shows.
> Gene


Funny, that's exactly the same conclusion I came up with.
In the beginning I was all in for learning the language, but as I began to understand a little (very little) I also found most conversations utterly boring - because as you mention, mostly it is just drama or useless chatter - either from tv or the usual family drama (in which you don't really have a saying anyway).


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## forestacres (Mar 5, 2014)

ianmarie said:


> My wife (negronese native) is insistant that we retire in ******. We currently reside in my home country Australia. I have been there 5 or 6 times in the 18 years we have been married. I have never sucessfully picked up the language used by her family and friends (they can understand me but I have no hope in knowing what their conversations are about). Is their an english speaking expat community or association in or around Bacolod in ******?


I've been living in Bacolod since last June and am also looking to find and expat organization as I am looking to meet more expats. If you are in Bacolod now perhaps you would have more information now. Thanks.


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## esv1226 (Mar 13, 2014)

I am a wife and I do understand your frustration over not being able to understand what "everybody's" talking or laughing about. You need some sounding board, sympathetic to your plight otherwise you could go nuts. I hope you'll find friends there.


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## overmyer (Aug 15, 2013)

Mikael Swenson said:


> Do you know what time at the Natures Village resort, i would like to com next saturday. Kind regards Mikael


Meet up time is or was at 11:00am on the first Saturday of each month!


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## gary bishop (Feb 6, 2014)

Ian, Not too many foriegners in Bacolod but you should find an aussie or two. In the south of the island at Dumaguete there are thousands of expats and quite a number of aussies. I lived in Bacolod for 6 months and 15 years, mon and off, in Dumaguete. I am not a fan of Bacolod due to lack of expat social life. Might I suggest you first (temporary) base yourself in Dumaguete (6 hours by bus for wife to visit family. Then you have time to choose a town between Dumaguete to Bacolod, i.e. Bias, Mabinay (pretty dead), Kabankalan (ok. and about 2 hours from Bacolod or San Carlos. After staying in Dumaguete you probably will base yourself in that area. Do not live close to the family the other advice you have got is all true and too bloody stressful. Enjoy your retirement, dont spend your money on others who want retirement. I first went to PI in 1966 so catch up with me for a beer one time and I will pass on all the good and bad that I learnt in 45 years. Gary Bishop


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## JimnNila143 (Jul 23, 2013)

A lot of good posts here and I have no negative feelings about any of them. So much of what is said is reality. For myself I, too, told my wife that I don't have deep pockets filled with $1,000US bills. Even though she would like to live closer to her family, about 200 of them, I refuse to do so. We are less than 2 hours, by air, from them and if there was an emergency there would be no problem traveling to her home. We help both of her parents and one of our nieces who lives with them and we also, a little bit, help two of her siblings, one of whom lives in Ozamiz City. My wife does have cousins who live here where we are, too, and we all get along well with each other. My wife of 7 years is worth her weight in gold, she has a good heart and is very loving and caring and she is especially fond of her Mama. Even though we don't have kids together, we are Ninong and Ninang to several of our nieces and nephews and one of our nieces, should there be a change in a certain subject matter, that I won't discuss here, take place, she will come to stay with us and be our daughter. 

One must always remember that 99% of the time any 'loan' given to a family member becomes a 'gift.' That 'loan' will never be paid back. Keep to your guns, Bacolod seems to be a nice place, been to it once on the way to Dipolog by sailing vessel. As far as ******, your wife is Bisayan and Bisaya is a dialect that is impossible for Caucasians to learn. You have enough problems learning Tagalog, but Bisaya, forget it. My wife, also, is Bisaya and when she speaks it I keep low to the ground because when she speaks it, it is like an M60 firing ammo.


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## kememetz (Aug 16, 2013)

*Comming to Bacolod today*



JimnNila143 said:


> A lot of good posts here and I have no negative feelings about any of them. So much of what is said is reality. For myself I, too, told my wife that I don't have deep pockets filled with $1,000US bills. Even though she would like to live closer to her family, about 200 of them, I refuse to do so. We are less than 2 hours, by air, from them and if there was an emergency there would be no problem traveling to her home. We help both of her parents and one of our nieces who lives with them and we also, a little bit, help two of her siblings, one of whom lives in Ozamiz City. My wife does have cousins who live here where we are, too, and we all get along well with each other. My wife of 7 years is worth her weight in gold, she has a good heart and is very loving and caring and she is especially fond of her Mama. Even though we don't have kids together, we are Ninong and Ninang to several of our nieces and nephews and one of our nieces, should there be a change in a certain subject matter, that I won't discuss here, take place, she will come to stay with us and be our daughter.
> 
> One must always remember that 99% of the time any 'loan' given to a family member becomes a 'gift.' That 'loan' will never be paid back. Keep to your 's guns, Bacolod seems to be a nice place, been to it once on the way to Dipolog by sailing vessel. As far as ******, your wife is Bisayan and Bisaya is a dialect that is impossible for Caucasians to learn. You have enough problems learning Tagalog, but Bisaya, forget it. My wife, also, is Bisaya and when she speaks it I keep low to the ground because when she speaks it, it is like an M60 firing ammo.


Sitting in our hotel now in Manila waiting for our bus to the airport to catch the afternoon flight to Bacolod. We will be spending three weeks visiting family. Her mom is 99 and she has a brother and sister-in-law that lives in Victorias. Other two sisters live back in the states. Money has never been asked for. The only thing we contribute to is her mom's live in nurses. Every sibling contributes equally for the care. 

Looking to connect if possible with expats. We will be moving permanently after November. Anyone interested I will monitor the postings here. Have a great day everyone.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

kememetz said:


> Sitting in our hotel now in Manila waiting for our bus to the airport to catch the afternoon flight to Bacolod. We will be spending three weeks visiting family. Her mom is 99 and she has a brother and sister-in-law that lives in Victorias. Other two sisters live back in the states. Money has never been asked for. The only thing we contribute to is her mom's live in nurses. Every sibling contributes equally for the care.
> 
> Looking to connect if possible with expats. We will be moving permanently after November. Anyone interested I will monitor the postings here. Have a great day everyone.


Kem, sounds like you have it made and are already on your flight or at the airport. You're luck to not have the money issue. Same here--no issues with money and the family. It's only March and I'll bet Novmber seems a long way away. At least you'll be making the move at the start of the cool season so will be much easier to handle and get use to---if one ever gets use to the heat..
Have a great time in Bacolod. 

*So how about it Bacolod expats, send Kem a private message and have a few cold ones together...*


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## overmyer (Aug 15, 2013)

kememetz said:


> Sitting in our hotel now in Manila waiting for our bus to the airport to catch the afternoon flight to Bacolod. We will be spending three weeks visiting family. Her mom is 99 and she has a brother and sister-in-law that lives in Victorias. Other two sisters live back in the states. Money has never been asked for. The only thing we contribute to is her mom's live in nurses. Every sibling contributes equally for the care.
> 
> Looking to connect if possible with expats. We will be moving permanently after November. Anyone interested I will monitor the postings here. Have a great day everyone.


Drop by Nature's Village Resort (in Talisay, just S. of Ayala North Point mall) at 11:00am on the first Saturday of each month. A group of expats meet monthly.


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## kememetz (Aug 16, 2013)

overmyer said:


> Drop by Nature's Village Resort (in Talisay, just S. of Ayala North Point mall) at 11:00am on the first Saturday of each month. A group of expats meet monthly.


Thanks for the invite, I plan on attending the April meeting. I've seen the resort a couple of times now it is between my Brother-in-laws place and Bacolod. Going out again today to look at some rentals to get a feel for the housing and communities. Having a great time so far.

Thanks everyone this is a great forum.


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