# I need some guidance please



## michelle181818 (Dec 13, 2021)

I am 56 years young and retiring in 6 weeks. I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. My husband needs to use a walker due to 3 failed back surgeries and he just underwent a triple bypass after a silent heart attack. I also have a 24 year old son with neurological impairment. 3 to 4 days a week he lives in a group home a few blocks from me and the other 3 to 4 days i take care of him and my husband at the same time. He wants nothing more than to be home with us, and I love him more than anything, but he is exhausting. I'm exhausted. I can hire one person to help me with my husband and a live in young man to be with our son and us. He would be with us all the time, with help so hopefully it won't be too exhausting. I can also hire someone to clean and cook and do laundry. Maybe that could be the person that watches after my husband. I love Mexico and speak Spanish and would love to move there to a safe neighborhood. Many people tell me I'm nuts to want to live there due to safety issues. I figure if I move there life will be much better. We would have beautiful weather and water and we'd be living nicely because our money would go so far. Would it be unpleasant/difficult for my husband with his walker? I would really like to hear what people think


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## dembones (Dec 12, 2014)

Whew, I feel sorry for you in your situation. But if u r exhausted now, imagine what a major move would do to you in top of that. Plus not familiar with living areas, insurance, length of stay, humidity, money, blah, blah...
Anything can be done I guess but the way u r asking sounds like u haven't thought it all through & researched, narrowed down areas.
Your exhaustion may be talking regarding that warm weather & speaking Spanish would solve or lesson your burdens. Just my opinion, of course. Good luck, I wish u the best.


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## kphoger (Apr 22, 2020)

I don't know what part of Mexico you'd be living in, of course, but my experience is that Mexico isn't very handicap-friendly. The curbs are often steep, many sidewalks too narrow to navigate around utility poles without briefly stepping down into the street, and the prevalence of tile and polished concrete-type surfaces make for slippery-when-wet conditions. In fact, I always advise able-bodied people to wear shoes with strong ankle support when traveling to Mexico due to the unevenness of the surfaces. All these things are likely less of an issue in a more modern city than where I typically go, but that's just my experience.


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## eastwind (Jun 18, 2016)

I cannot recommend Mexico to you based on your description of your situation. Obviously I don't know about the whole country, but even in very upscale areas you will find issues like missing manhole covers, broken pavement with chips sticking up at an angle, curb cuts on one side of the street but not across the street, broken sign posts sticking up from the middle of a sidewalk, cement bases for signs where the sign has been removed and 4 bolts are left sticking up into the air, low awnings ready to poke your eye out if you're looking down, and downed or low-hanging wires (probably not live electric lines but phone lines - probably).

Someone with a walker who only wanted to do 30 yards down the street and back for exercise could probably find somewhere to live with a navigable sidewalk to get a little exercise on. But as soon as you want to actually start going anywhere, like to the convenience store, obstacles will abound.

The other big issue I foresee in your case has to do with medicare. You don't say how old your husband is, but when he's 65 he's obviously going to need medicare availability. 

I don't want you to feel like I'm being harsh on your, the question has come up several times on different boards from different posters, and I only recommend Mexico to able-bodied people with average or better health and the resources to fully pay for all their typical medical care. 

The violence issue your friends warn about is something that depends on where in Mexico you are speaking of, but lack of accessibility for the less-abled and lack of US medicare access are consistent throughout Mexico.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

You have to think about your health insurrance, private insurrance would be very expensive and get out of sight as you get older and your husband and son would have all kinds of non covered areas.. The IMSS /seguro may not accept you either if you have preconditions so you would have to pay out of pockets so the US may be cheaper. Help is cheaper here but full time help also gets expensive nothing like in the states but it is not cheap to have full time help.
Mexico is not handicapped friendly at all. My husband went from a walker to a wheelchair and you can forget about going out in many places so think twice about moving here just because you would get more help.
I would not worry about the violence , it does not affect expats as a rule .


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

A friend of mine has a handicapped husbands who needs help 24hours a day.. That is 3 employs 8 hours each. He cost is 2400 dollars a month. and she has to find more help when one person gets sick or needs time off. It is wonderful help but it is not a cruis control situation.
I do not know how you handle your situation , working full time, at least not having to go to work will be a plus although you will beed an escape for your mental sanity. Can you stay where you are and get a couple of young people from Mexico who want to finish their studies and could help you?
I live part tim in Chiapas and have hlp from a godsn who works in Guadaljara but helps me at night , early morning and on wek end.. Of course I am back to no help now for Christmas as he wnt home for te holidays but he is great help. I have acleaning lady and do the cooking which I enjoy although it means cooking for more people, having more space and bedrooms..
Good luck to you , there is a solution but I am not sure Mexico is an answer.
Where do you live now?


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## michelle181818 (Dec 13, 2021)

citlali said:


> A friend of mine has a handicapped husbands who needs help 24hours a day.. That is 3 employs 8 hours each. He cost is 2400 dollars a month. and she has to find more help when one person gets sick or needs time off. It is wonderful help but it is not a cruis control situation.
> I do not know how you handle your situation , working full time, at least not having to go to work will be a plus although you will beed an escape for your mental sanity. Can you stay where you are and get a couple of young people from Mexico who want to finish their studies and could help you?
> I live part tim in Chiapas and have hlp from a godsn who works in Guadaljara but helps me at night , early morning and on wek end.. Of course I am back to no help now for Christmas as he wnt home for te holidays but he is great help. I have acleaning lady and do the cooking which I enjoy although it means cooking for more people, having more space and bedrooms..
> Good luck to you , there is a solution but I am not sure Mexico is an answer.
> Where do you live now?


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## michelle181818 (Dec 13, 2021)

Thank you for your reply. I didn't think I was getting any replies so i apologize for the late reply. 

Currently I am living in New York City.


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## eastwind (Jun 18, 2016)

Did you mean $2400 per day? That would be more like it for skilled health care in NYC.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

eastwind said:


> Did you mean $2400 per day? That would be more like it for skilled health care in NYC.
> [SSo¿


Sorry my friend told me in US dollars and I was too lazy to translate.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

If I were in your shoes Michelle, II would lokk in the Panhandle the Pensacola, Mobile area which is still reasonable and where the help may ne more affordable. If you are close to a community college you could get a student after graduation from a nurding school and offer them to come to the States to learn English.. You could pay them a reasonable wage and send them to the local school to learn Eglish and have them to help you at home as well to supplement the local help.
I do not know your financial situation but you are going to need good insurrance in Mexico and I doubt that you can get it.

I know a couple of girls who are going to nursing schools so I could get you information on this end if you need it.


.


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## eastwind (Jun 18, 2016)

US$2400 a month for round-the-clock care at home is inconceivably cheap for the US. 

There are 30x24 = 720 hours in a month, so that's US$3.33 per hour. For NYC US$100 per hour for skilled in-home nursing is high but believable, that would be US$2400 _per day _not per month. A nursing home with full-time nurses shared among a number of patients might charge US$12,000 or more, and would be cheaper than US$2400 per day.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

We are not in the States where prices are ridiculous.
My mother is in a super home and pays 1700 euros a month.. My aunt is in a place where most people cnn cannot take care of themselves and she pays 2000 euros a moth and that is Europe..
$2400 dollars a month is high in Mexico . Assisted living homes are lower.


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## eastwind (Jun 18, 2016)

Well I'm confused. Michelle181818 says she's in NYC.


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