# Moving to joburg in april



## NafisShaikh (Mar 6, 2009)

hi frnds....i m Nafis from india....moving to joburg in april....so pls recommend me about jobs,people,life there....thnks in adv.


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## Mickyxxx (Sep 6, 2008)

I dare you to visit Johannesburg, the city for softies 

09 Mar 2009 12:00 | Jeremy Clarkson – London Sunday Times 


It’s the least frightening place on earth, yet everyone speaks of how many times they’ve been killed that day.

Every city needs a snappy one-word handle to pull in the tourists and the investors. So, when you think of Paris, you think of love; when you think of New York, you think of shopping; and when you think of London – despite the best efforts of new Labour to steer you in the direction of Darcus Howe – you think of beefeaters and Mrs Queen.

Rome has its architecture. Sydney has its bridge. Venice has its sewage and Johannesburg has its crime. Yup, Jo’burg – the subject of this morning’s missive – is where you go if you want to be carjacked, shot, stabbed, killed and eaten. 
You could tell your mother you were going on a package holiday to Kabul, with a stopover in Haiti and Detroit, and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid. But tell her you’re going to Jo’burg and she’ll be absolutely convinced that you’ll come home with no wallet, no watch and no head.

Jo’burg has a fearsome global reputation for being utterly terrifying, a lawless Wild West frontier town paralysed by corruption and disease. But I’ve spent quite a bit of time there over the past three years and I can reveal that it’s all nonsense.

If crime is so bad then how come, the other day, the front-page lead in the city’s main newspaper concerned the theft of a computer from one of the local schools? I’m not joking.

The paper even ran a massive picture of the desk where the computer used to sit. It was the least interesting picture I’ve ever seen in a newspaper. But then it would be, because this was one of the least interesting crimes.

“Pah,” said the armed guard who’d been charged with escorting me each day from my hotel to the Coca-Cola dome where I was performing a stage version of Top Gear. 

Quite why he was armed I have absolutely no idea, because all we passed was garden centres and shops selling tropical fish tanks. Now I’m sorry, but if it’s true that the streets are a war zone, and you run the risk of being shot every time you set foot outside your front door, then, yes, I can see you might risk a trip to the shops for some food. But a fish tank? An ornamental pot for your garden? It doesn’t ring true. 

Look Jo’burg up on Wikipedia and it tells you it’s now one of the most violent cities in the world . . . but it adds in brackets “citation needed”. That’s like saying Gordon Brown is a two-eyed British genius (citation needed).

Honestly? Johannesburg is Milton Keynes with thunderstorms. You go out. You have a lovely ostrich. You drink some delicious wine and you walk back to your hotel, all warm and comfy. It’s the least frightening place on earth. So why does every single person there wrap themselves up in razor wire and fit their cars with flame-throwers and speak of how many times they’ve been killed that day? What are they trying to prove?

Next year South Africa will play host to the football World Cup. The opening and closing matches will be played in Jo’burg, and no one’s going to go if they think they will be stabbed. 
The locals even seem to accept this, as at the new airport terminal only six passport booths have been set aside for non-South African residents. 

At first it’s baffling. Why ruin the reputation of your city and risk the success of the footballing World Cup to fuel a story that plainly isn’t true? There is no litter and no graffiti. I’ve sauntered through Soweto on a number of occasions now, swinging a Nikon round my head, with no effect. You stand more chance of being mugged in Monte Carlo.

Time and again I was told I could buy an AK47 for 100 rand – about £7. But when I said, “Okay, let’s go and get one”, no one had the first idea where to start looking. And they were even more clueless when I asked about bullets. 
As I bought yet another agreeable carved doll from yet another agreeable black person, I wanted to ring up those idiots who compile surveys of the best and worst places to live and say: “Why do you keep banging on about Vancouver, you idiots? Jo’burg’s way better.” 
Instead, however, I sat down and tried to work out why the locals paint their city as the eighth circle of hell. And I think I have an answer. It’s because they want to save the lions in the Kruger National Park.

I promise I am not making this up. Every night, people in Mozambique pack up their possessions and set off on foot through the Kruger for a new life in the quiet, bougainvillea-lined streets of Jo’burg. And very often these poor unfortunate souls are eaten by the big cats. 
That, you may imagine, is bad news for the families of those who’ve been devoured. But actually it’s even worse for Johnny Lion. You see, a great many people in Mozambique have Aids, and the fact is this: if you can catch HIV from someone’s blood or saliva during a bout of tender love-making, you can be assured you will catch it if you wolf the person down whole. Even if you are called Clarence and you have a mane. 
At present, it’s estimated that there are 2,000 lions in the Kruger National Park and studies suggest 90% have feline Aids. Some vets suggest the epidemic was started by lions eating the lungs of diseased buffalos. But there are growing claims from experts in the field that, actually, refugees are the biggest problem. 
That’s clearly the answer, then.

Johannesburgians are telling the world they live in a ****-hole to save their lions. That’s the sort of people they are. And so, if you are thinking about going to the World Cup next year, don’t hesitate.

The exchange rate’s good, the food is superb, the weather’s lovely and, thanks to some serious economic self-sacrifice, Kruger is still full of animals. The word, then, I’d choose to describe Jo’burg is “tranquil”. 

Categories: Australian Market News | UK Market News | South African Market News | Press Releases | Australian Market News | UK Market News | South African Market News | Press Releases | 





SA lodges named in list of world's top eco-lodges 

Freedom Park Trust honours struggle heroes 

Koeberg to get R1.6 billion upgrade 

SA and Egyptian entrepreneurs selected for elite network 

Coastal protection zone for CT 






NEW DEVELOPMENTS - Property in Johannesburg, Cape Town, Durban, Brisbane and UK 

 South Africa 


Gauteng 

- Kalgaro 

- Misty Crest 


Western Cape 

- Pepper Club 

- Pinelands Grove 


Kwa-Zulu Natal 

- Sheffield Gardens 




United Kingdom 


London 

- Discounted New Developments 




Australia 


Queensland


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## Martinw (Jan 2, 2009)

Mickyxxx said:


> I dare you to visit Johannesburg, the city for softies
> 
> 09 Mar 2009 12:00 | Jeremy Clarkson – London Sunday Times
> 
> ...


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## NafisShaikh (Mar 6, 2009)

many thanks anyway.........can you send me the photos of joburg city,.......


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## Mickyxxx (Sep 6, 2008)

I dont live in SA but have had the best holidays ever there along with many many thousands of other tourists who visit yearly in ever increasing numbers, I have lived in Trinidad Caribbean where our complex had armed guards because of crime and enjoyed it very much just had to be carefull though.

Do you work for the South African Tourist board!!!!!!!


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## NafisShaikh (Mar 6, 2009)

Mickyxxx said:


> I dont live in SA but have had the best holidays ever there along with many many thousands of other tourists who visit yearly in ever increasing numbers, I have lived in Trinidad Caribbean where our complex had armed guards because of crime and enjoyed it very much just had to be carefull though.
> 
> Do you work for the South African Tourist board!!!!!!!


why r u asking this??????????????????????i know wat the actual position is there but just want to share with other to get more knowledge about SA....

but thanks anyway......


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## Martinw (Jan 2, 2009)

*Visiting vs Living there?*

It is one thing to visit SA with a strong currency, brilliant exchange rate, to live in nice hotels and wild life parks and resorts and only enjoy the fun things but it is not so nice when you have to live there in the fear everyday of your life. And if you arent well off then it is even worse. 
So for every person that only "visits" South Africa once a year, maybe you should state that to the rest of us so we then know you dont have to experience all these horrors everyday. I used to travel up yo African Countries for work, and they always treated us like royalty, because maybe they saw us as walking dollar signs bringing cash into their country. I am sure the rest of the people do not get treated the same. SA will prob head that way too.


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## Daxk (Jan 20, 2008)

Mickyxxx said:


> I dont live in SA but have had the best holidays ever there along with many many thousands of other tourists who visit yearly in ever increasing numbers, I have lived in Trinidad Caribbean where our complex had armed guards because of crime and enjoyed it very much just had to be carefull though.
> 
> Do you work for the South African Tourist board!!!!!!!


mickyxxx,
You are kidding are'nt you?You have lived in SA for at least a few years?
Did national service or fought in the struggle?


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## Halo (May 8, 2008)

I was going to post this before but I found some of the links questionable but after further reflection if you just look at the pictures I think you will get the idea. Its amazing what Google finds 

The Death of Johannesburg


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## Martinw (Jan 2, 2009)

*Joburg and Durban in pictures*

Halo you beat me to it. But for anyone that is interested here is a link that includes the link Halo included, but also one for Durban. I think it is pretty disgusting what that place looks like now. I used to travel up and down the victoria Embankment everyday past the yaght club. It is litterally a sewerage dump now. Dont know How anyone can still live in filth like that.


*Links to South Africa The Truth *
( the pictures are all about the cities - no violent photos are included, but just what parts of the cities look like.)

Now I know not everyone goes into thecities(with good reason) but in a place like Durban most of businesses still operate in the city unlike Johannesburg where everything has moved to the Midrand etc. How will it to take to turn those parts into a dump aswell. My guess - PRETTY SOON.


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## Fractured_Mirror (Mar 21, 2009)

I just looked over some of the pictures, and I have never seen anything like this before, a complete disregard for the environment, much less common cleanliness and hygiene ... Particularly the pictures of the shoreline at the Royal Natal Yachtclub... Who does this, and why?


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## Halo (May 8, 2008)

Fractured_Mirror said:


> I just looked over some of the pictures, and I have never seen anything like this before, a complete disregard for the environment, much less common cleanliness and hygiene ... Particularly the pictures of the shoreline at the Royal Natal Yachtclub... Who does this, and why?


South Africans - Lack of education and a false sense of entitlement.


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## Martinw (Jan 2, 2009)

*"South African"mentality of some*

I was looking for pictures like this for a while. (I took my own before we left a couple of years ago) we knew how bad it was, but this just blew my mind away. I did however predict that that is what would happen, but to see it actually happen is something else. I suppose you just have to look at the rest of Africa to have guessed it.
Here is some insight to some peoples thoughts. I used to travel up and down Kwa zulu Natal coast everyday. My assistant once threw a banana peel out of the car window. I freaked out. Stopped the car and made him pick it up. his reply "if they dont throw their litter and trash around, the garbage/cleaners would not have a job!!!!!!!" - this blew my mind away. he was normally pretty OK.
Guess that shows the mentality of some people in South Africa.

I guess if you go to the likes of Kwa Mashu, and Umlazi etc. it looks a certain way, so why should the Royal Natal Yacht Club or Botanic gardens have to be any different. With the thought train like that, how could South Africa turn into anything else than a dump. The rest of Africa is( And I have been there to say i speak of experience). I am just wondering how some people are"happy"to live in "filth and Fear" I was and am not.




Fractured_Mirror said:


> I just looked over some of the pictures, and I have never seen anything like this before, a complete disregard for the environment, much less common cleanliness and hygiene ... Particularly the pictures of the shoreline at the Royal Natal Yachtclub... Who does this, and why?


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