# How does one meet new people if retired?



## chefinla (Jul 27, 2012)

I know learning the language is key, but how about meeting other ex-pats who speak English? I am sure speaking a language other than your own every day can get pretty tiring, how does one meet others who speak English in Spain?


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## Chica22 (Feb 26, 2010)

Having lived here for more than 6 years, I found that the key to meet other expats is really to firstly find groups and activities that you are interested in, rather than groups purely for English people. Two of the first things I did when I came to live here was to join a gym and become involved in the local Cat Protection league (these were two activities which I enjoyed in the UK). 

Whilst these activities are not particular areas to meet other Expats, I found that I met like minded people with whom I can develop friendships. These include German, Dutch and Spanish people, who all spoke English as well as English people. By selecting activites which you enjoy you will hopefully meet like minded people, rather than English people that perhaps you have nothing in common with.


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## fergie (Oct 4, 2010)

The best way to meet others who speak English is to join a society, like golf, bridge playing, art etc, or to join a volunteer group eg. helping to look after dogs and cats, many abandoned by cruel owners, joining a volunteer group raising money for cancer or altzeimers care.
If you get any of the free newspapers they will give you contact phone numbers for anything you like to join in on, in your area.
Many other expats from Germany, Switzerland, Holland also speak very good English.
Learning Spanish really is an important part of living here, and perhaps learning about the countries history and traditions. We as expats are guests here enjoying the Spanish better weather, lovely fresh fruit and veg. and if we need to communicate in local shops or with local tradesmen it is much easier to speak the language, even a good effort by us is appreciated by Spanish people.
I must say as a pensioner myself that it is more difficult to learn a new language, but so 'chuffed' with myself when I can ask where something is in a shop, or order something in a Spanish restaurant.


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

I agree with all of the above.

We came here for a quiet life as we both had very busy lives in the UK. When we lived in Prague we socialised with a few Czech friends and some immigrants from other countries such as Serbia, the U.S. but few Brits as the immigrant crowd in Prague didn't appeal to us.

Our lives changed after joining an animal rescue charity. Not only did we meet like-minded people of all nationalities, through them we were introduced to other activities...am-dram, local politics, walking, all kinds of interests.

Now we're making up excuses to avoid social occasions as we do like our quiet lives, reading and chatting by the pool in summer, trips with our dog in winter.


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## 90199 (Mar 21, 2010)

Meeting English ex pats here is difficult, for there are only three more on the island. 

So we mix freely with the locals, who in the main speak not one word of English, it has now become the norm.

However we did get talking to some English tourists the other night and at the same time I was conversing with a Canarian friend, that was a challenge, two languages at the same time.


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## bob_bob (Jan 5, 2011)

Its the same now as when you were 18, you need to 'network,' get out and about even if you only pop in to local bars frequented by brits, strike up a conversation etc. Its a numbers game, the more folk you speak to the sooner you will find your type of people.


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## Minerva.909 (Jul 29, 2012)

When i first moved to Spain (from USA) a few years ago I happened to attend an expat festival of sorts where all local expat groups in Almunecar hade booths presenting themselves. In that way I found English speakers (an American Club and English Legion - I chose the first to join), Scandinavians (I have Swedish citizenship and like speaking Swedish), Germans (German hiking was of interest to me as well as keeping my German alive) and an International club, where all English speakers (native or not) could meet. Those clubs in turn had bridge groups, travel groups, book discussion groups etc. My winter in Spain was full of social activities and I also met a few closer friend that way.


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## GUAPACHICA (Jun 30, 2012)

Hi - I've been fascinated by the various responses to this question, as they reflect the differing Spanish locations in which we expats. reside - as well as individual preferences and choices in relation to our social lives! My own reply is probably too long-winded, sorry, but there's no one way to meet new friends in a foreign country - so here's what happened to me, when I came to live in Spain...

I lived. first. in a very small Asturian town - having chosen, deliberately, to experience life in a totally Spanish- speaking environment - I was, in fact, the only foreigner there - 'tho I was required to assist the many non-Spanish speaking 'peligrinos' (pilgrims) who limped into town on the 'Santiago de Compostela' route, desperate to find the local albergue (hostal), which was not signposted and, very helpfully, hidden way across the river..! Usually, these travellers had sufficient English for me to help them find the one keyholder, their hot showers and beds, lol!

My Spanish was very, very basic - but the wonderful Asturianos took me to their hearts, from my very first day - I felt as if I were enveloped in a collective 'small-town' hug! I was invited out to 'all day' traditional weekend lunches; was taught the boardgame Parchis (very like Ludo, but played with total Asturian passion and the killer instinct, lol!); was included in many excursions to the coast and nearby mountains; was invited to the town's Friday night supper with live music in the local Sidraria tavern; accompanied new friends to the wonderful weekly market in a nearby town; assisted in the annual cider-making with all of my neighbours - and participated in every national and local fiesta, as part of that particular Asturiano town 'family!' 

I'd arrived there accompanied only by my beautiful, very well trained, large dog. She was the cause of many new social encounters - with both adults and children, as the first 'pet' dog of her size in town. Sadly, large breed dogs were used only as guards for fincas and property - so people were very fearful of her, until they witnessed her level of training and intelligence, whereupon they became her very loyal fans...! I quickly became known as the town's resident 'expert' on all pet dog-related matters, tho' my experience with small breeds was actually very limited! I was regularly asked to assist with basic problems of behaviour and canine health - which led to yet more friendships being forged! I even achieved a personal dream, when a local bar owner recruited me to train his huge, boisterous, friendly, adolescent mastin (Spanish mastiff) - destined to guard his house and grounds! We explored all the nearby mountain slopes together, once I'd wrestled him (height and strength of a small pack-donkey) to the ground to attach his lead and headcollar, lol! Endless chats with local passers-by ensued - yet more social contacts for my canine companion and me! 

So, despite my many difficulties with the language (my head ached, literally, at times from 'Spanish overload'), I was so fortunate to have found such a welcoming community in which to begin my new life as a 'soltera' (solo) in Spain.
But, I am virtually nocturnal and was prone, in England, to enjoying late night chats over a coffee or beer! Thus, I decided to brave the male environment of the local Spanish bars - complete with blaring TV footie matches and car racing..!
I sat at the bar, in minimal comfort (florescent strip lighting, plastic stools, white tiles and cigarette smoke) and was surprised to be welcomed - and accepted, -firstly by the owners and staff and then by their customers! 
I was not, however, permitted to pay for a drink! I'd thought it was a 'machismo' issue and insisted on paying - to no avail - until it was explained to me; ''You're in Asturias - you're our guest! Eventually, after some 6 months, I persuaded my new friends that I was now resident, and had to pay my way, so I was finally allowed to buy a friend a drink - because it was his birthday, lol! I went on to spend my very late hours perched on a bar stool, designated the 'default supporter' of any English footie team playing in any televised match! Of course, I was also considered the sole supporter of Lewis Hamilton, the Britsh racing driver - in his fierce clashes with Fermando Alonso, the Asturian world champion and darling..! 
Actually, back in England, I'd had zilch interest in these sports - but I was so grateful for the sheer hospitality, warmth and friendship offered to me -a complete stranger - in their traditional bars, where women didn't normally venture in Winter, that I felt privileged to participate in their enthusiastic TV Sports watching, whilst sharing home-made cider and great tapas - picking up some Spanish phrases, alongside! Once I became aqcuainted with more of the local women, through my English teaching, I learnt that they prefer to meet friends in the comfort of their own homes - but do frequent the bar terraces in Spring and Summer. It seems they had thought I was rather weird, initially - but then had excused me, as the 'Inglesa' so had decided to befriend me, regardless, lol!

Here in Spain, IMO, the Spanish by nature are incredibly friendly and outgoing - so, it's a great pity if we begin our life here by prioritising friendships with other expats! A few words in Spanish will get you such a long way with local people - much further, I believe, than would be the case in the UK for a foreigner with very basic English.
So, have a go - you'll be richly rewarded! Besides, I can now make a great Asturian tortilla, could beat any expat. hands down in Parchis - and I could make litres of cider at home - have the knowledge and loads of experience now - if only I had the apple orchards and that coveted Asturian wooden apple press..!

GCxx


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

What a splendid adventure you've had, GC. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us!

PS we have Killer Ludo down south too ...


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## chefinla (Jul 27, 2012)

*Thank you all*

For the various responses, we both want to immerse ourselves in whatever culture we end up in and have no real interest in meeting a lot of English speaking people as what is the point of moving to a foreign country then? I just know that it will be a relief occasionally to have a conversation where you can just flow and not have to translate first. I lived in Mexico once for a few months and had that headache you mentioned from the overload for speaking and hearing Spanish.

I thank you all for your input and look forward to challenging my brain and have a new experience with another culture!


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## lovethesun (Oct 19, 2010)

chefinla said:


> I know learning the language is key, but how about meeting other ex-pats who speak English? I am sure speaking a language other than your own every day can get pretty tiring, how does one meet others who speak English in Spain?


In which area do you live?


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## chefinla (Jul 27, 2012)

lovethesun said:


> In which area do you live?


We haven't moved yet, we are doing some research from California at the moment and will take a trip in November to check out the coastal areas.


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## Chica22 (Feb 26, 2010)

Wow, what a wonderful post by GC, and it makes me incredibly envious. I wish sometimes I could just transport myself into an area where no English is spoken at all, and arrive back home with the ability to speak fluent Spanish to OH. But after 30 years I doubt very much that this is going to happen!!!

However in my serious quest to actually speak Spanish, I have for the past few weeks informed the small group of attendees at the gym (which consist of Spanish, German and Dutch, I am the only English person) that from now on English is barred!!! At the moment, I find it very frustrating but every bit helps!!

I have also enrolled onto the free Spanish classes via the Town Hall, but intermediate level, in September, on the basis that I am going to cram as much learning as I possibly can in the next few weeks. I find I need a target to work towards.

I am trying hard to get into the habit of putting Spanish TV on, with subtitles, but it doesnt help that OH prefers English TV!!! Writing this it appears that I live with a macho Spaniard who doesnt wish his wife to speak Spanish, this could not be farther from the truth, I know it is my problem that I just will not speak Spanish to him, and even if he speaks to me in Spanish, I always answer him back in English.

With regard to meeting ex-pats, as I said in my earliest post, I believe it is the 'person' that matters rather than the language, and sharing 'commonality' in aspects of life. We have some wonderful English people living near us, and a minority that shop and eat in Brit establishments and complain all the time about the Spanish people/way of life, whilst this appears fine for some, it is not the type of life I have chosen, either here or in the UK.


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