# need friends!!



## hiba (Jan 16, 2009)

hello any one in Queretaro? 

I'm so lonely here, i need some friends that they speak anything other then Spanish!!!

I moved 3 months ago with my husband i like the city but now I'm so bored, i was looking for Spanish course all are very expansive, and one by one.
I don't know how to make new friends  all people i know speak only Spanish they r so lovely but my Spanish is not good and after a while u need to have people around u that u understand...

Hiba


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Welcome. There is a thread on this forum, entitled "Queretaro," which has active participants who speak English. Few of them would even use 'u' to mean 'you,' so I'm sure they are fluent. If you don't manage to encounter some of them in person, just ride on over to Lake Chapala for a weekend and you'll find English speakers in all of the usual places; restaurants, Walmart, movies, little theater, grocery stores, etc.


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## lk2101 (Jan 7, 2009)

hiba said:


> hello any one in Queretaro?
> 
> I'm so lonely here, i need some friends that they speak anything other then Spanish!!!
> 
> ...


Hiba,
I certainly understand how you feel. I've been living in Acapulco for a couple of years. There are a few Spanish schools here but they are extremely expensive. I've used an internet language course called: livemocha. It is free and you can connect with native speakers to help you with your courses. Click "search" and then "advanced search" once you are signed up and you can search for people who speak Spanish that are from Mexico. You in return you can also help them with learning English.


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## hiba (Jan 16, 2009)

RVGRINGO said:


> Welcome. There is a thread on this forum, entitled "Queretaro," which has active participants who speak English. Few of them would even use 'u' to mean 'you,' so I'm sure they are fluent. If you don't manage to encounter some of them in person, just ride on over to Lake Chapala for a weekend and you'll find English speakers in all of the usual places; restaurants, Walmart, movies, little theater, grocery stores, etc.



Thank u or thank *you* for the reply, i wish if there is any in Queretaro!!


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## hiba (Jan 16, 2009)

lk2101 said:


> Hiba,
> I certainly understand how you feel. I've been living in Acapulco for a couple of years. There are a few Spanish schools here but they are extremely expensive. I've used an internet language course called: livemocha. It is free and you can connect with native speakers to help you with your courses. Click "search" and then "advanced search" once you are signed up and you can search for people who speak Spanish that are from Mexico. You in return you can also help them with learning English.


Thanks a lot hun, i just signed up it great website very useful and u can use it for any other language...

xxxxx

Hiba


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## arturo_b (Sep 17, 2009)

Bienvenida a México, mi hija. Acuérdate de que, cuando te encuentres en Roma, debes comportarte como una romana.

Reciba un fuerte abrazo desde Tijuas por parte de tu fiel amigo, don Arturo.


Note to Arturo:
Rules of the forum require English, so:
"Welcome to Mexico, girl. Remember that when in Rome, do as the Romans.
Accept a hug from Tijuana from your faithful friend, Arturo."


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## charldobb (Jun 7, 2009)

hiba said:


> hello any one in Queretaro?
> 
> I'm so lonely here, i need some friends that they speak anything other then Spanish!!!
> 
> ...


Hey 
i'm looking into coming to mexico in a few months with my son, i'm a us resident and my son and i are both uk citizens. i'm looking to make some friends as we're gonna be there for a few months maybe longer. still trying to find a nice cheap area to live.
love to hear from you
charl x


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## betty (Sep 19, 2009)

*ok chin up*



hiba said:


> hello any one in Queretaro?
> 
> I'm so lonely here, i need some friends that they speak anything other then Spanish!!!
> 
> ...


Where abouts in the City are you, if you are in the city, go for a coffee take a book and watch the world go past, eventually you will hear english and start up a conversation, you may hear a topic that you know well, then you may surprise yourself
I found that the english come here for nothing to do, when they find that there is nothing to do they become .........nasty, so I found myself in the same situation as you, try to bear with it, if you are in an all spanish enviroment, spanish becomes easier rapidly, I am now enjoying life I wish you all the best :spit:clap2:


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

You and your son: Remember that you must have notarized letters of permission from the other birth parent to cross borders these days. Sometimes, they aren't asked for, but if you don't have them you can experience serious trouble.


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## arturo_b (Sep 17, 2009)

Hello again, Hiba.

I came to expatforum.com initially to help a neighbor sell a house he owns in Veracruz. I did not post his notice here. A while ago, he asked me why I avoided this site. I recounted a few of the more culturally insensitive posts that I encountered here and he said "Yes, I think you were right in avoiding that place. There are ex-pats close to our house but they are nothing like the people you found on expatforum, our neighbors would run them out of town in a heartbeat."

One of the culturally insensitive stories I related to my neighbor was yours, Hiba. He had the hardest time believing it. I had to repeat it twice. Then he said "She's in Mexico?" I said, "that's what she says." "Where in Mexico?" "In the interior somewhere, I'm not sure where, but in one of the colonial areas, I expect." My friend was pensive for a moment and then said "So why the hell does she want to speak English?"

I had no answer. 

But, of all the culturally insensitive posts that I encountered here, the only one I felt sympathy for was yours, Hiba. You were honest and did not blame your host country for your malaise. And you made me realize that everyone on this board, from Mr Moderator on down, is suffering from the same malaise: everyone is here because they are experiencing culture shock. Everyone is here, in fact, because your moderator validates your culture shock for you. But you will not be able to come to terms with Mexico until you get beyond your culture shock.

You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.

The first time I encountered culture shock was in Europe in 1969. It was ugly. One poor girl became so weak from hunger that she had to be medivac'ed back home; three guys fell to ptomaine poisoning from the bucket of Pollo Frito Kentucky they bought in the middle of Madrid and kept in their room for three days unrefrigerated because they didn't want to eat our regular food.

And our regular food? Standard French and Spanish cuisine. One night we ate at Raymond Oliver's Grand Véfour. (Raymond Oliver was the Wolfgang Puck of the 1960s.) Restaurants of similar quality in Madrid and Toledo. What a thankless lot of idiots!

Well, that's culture shock for you. No Der Wienerschnitzel here, I think I'll throw a tantrum.

So, Hiba, you seem like a reasonable person and you're living in a country that speaks Spanish. Why not get with the program? I like the immersion method myself and you'll find that is offered in every city in Mexico. Sometimes even for free. I have friends who swear by the Michel Thomas method, and you'll find that on the Internet. Use whatever works for you.

But, seriously, the people around you are not speaking English because you're living in Mexico. If only you would make the simplest attempt to communicate in their language, they would take that as a sign of respect and they will open up to you such that you will no longer feel lonesome or isolated.

This is probably my last post on expatforum because I don't like to post where I am censored and I don't like to post where people dislike Mexico. On top of that, my neighbor doesn't want to sell you his house. But I would like to leave some advice for the kindly souls such as Hiba: Mexico is much more welcoming than is the United States so long as you allow it to be. Whether you feel comfortable here in Mexico or not is entirely up to you.

Culture shock is real, but it is a psychological issue and, as such, can be overcome. Wikipedia gives you a grim overview; a more optimistic approach can be found at edweb.sdsu.edu/people/cGuanipa/cultshok.htm . 

In any event, everyone on this forum would benefit from speaking with a bilingual Mexican psychologist about their acculturation issues. And I do mean everyone. There is no shame in doing so: you are all strangers in a strange land and by relying on each other for support you are only reinforcing each other's rejection of the host culture. You need to rely on the culture that you have chosen to live in, not the one you left behind.

¿Me explico bien?


P.S. That bit about a notarized letter, that's a good idea but in our own experience (my son crossing without me at San Ysidro at least two times every month for the last five years) it has never been invoked. Tijuana is something of a special case. At more formal ports of entry, the notarized letter might be taken more seriously.


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## rebelde (Oct 1, 2009)

*hi*



hiba said:


> hello any one in Queretaro?
> 
> I'm so lonely here, i need some friends that they speak anything other then Spanish!!!
> 
> ...


well im supposed to be going down into celaya in about a month and i speak fluent spanish and english so if u want a friend ill be more than happy to chat with u


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Though Arturo seems a bit critical of newly arrived visitors and their 'adjustments', I must agree with much of what he has posted. The simple expedient of taking Spanish classes would go a long way to solving the 'outsider syndrome'. You'll quickly move to reading menus, ordering in Spanish, reading children's books and then, more and more..........
Enjoy!


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