# Dating a US citizen



## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

I know this isn't strictly expat talk, but I would like to know if anyone has been down the same route as me, and if so any advice

Mods - feel free to move this thread if you feel it is in the wrong place
_
*Brief background:* I have a lot of friends in the US, some I have known for 10+ years. Since I first came out here to visit them in 2004 I really wanted to move to the US someday, I am now in a position in my life where I am persuing this._

I came to the US to stay with my friend for 6 weeks in October/November 2011 to see if I could cope with the differences between the UK and US and these 6 weeks reinforced my thoughts about moving there

I am NOT looking for advice on the possible ways for me to move here, but advice on my current situation.

When I came out to the US in October/November, right at the end of my trip I had a bit of a "thing" with a girl. After much talk, we decided to see if we could work out the long distance thing. I am in a very lucky position with work, where I can choose when I do and don't work, and luckily make enough to support myself.

The current plan is for me to be in the UK working for around 9-12 weeks, then come to the US for a month. This is what we have done since the end of my 6 week trip in November. I came back at the end of February and stayed for most of March 2012 - this was the trip where we decided it might actually work out and "officially" began dating. I went back to the UK for exactly 12 weeks, working, and I came back 2 days ago (Sunday 17th June 2012)

This time, coming into the country I got pulled aside in passport control and asked a bunch of questions about why I was here. I was honest with my answers. I had my bags searched and stuff, and I was told it was the "frequency" of the visits that concerned them. Again I was completely honest with everything they asked, and they let me into the country. Before leaving they asked me when my next visit would be, which I said "i'm not sure" as nothing had been agreed by that point.

Since being here, I've been talking to one of my friends sisters and she has invited me to her wedding in September. When this current trip ends, I will have been back in the UK for 8 and half weeks, and coming back for 3 and half weeks to go to the wedding and spend 3 weeks after the wedding with my girlfriend

Does anyone think this will be a problem with immigrant control? I'm wondering if 12 weeks isn't long enough a gap between the trips, even though its 3 times as long as I am spending in the UK.

I don't plan on staying in the US illegally, nor do I plan on marrying my girlfriend anytime soon. I am planning to go back into university study part time while working back in the UK in January, but I won't be enrolled on the course until November ish time. I always carry proof of my return flight, but I don't know what else I could bring with me to proove I definitely plan on returning to the UK when I say I will.

My girlfriend and I don't really want to make the length between trips longer than 12 weeks, as 12 weeks feels like a lifetime as it is. She isn't in a position to come visit me as she is full on with studying for her masters degree (and doesn't really have the money to afford a trip to the UK)

If anyone has any advice for me on the above situation it would be greatly appreciated.

I would also like to hear any stories of people who have made the long distance work between US and other countries - how long between trips to see each other, did you have any problems with immigration control?

Sorry for the long post, I started typing and it all came out!

Thanks


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## Davis1 (Feb 20, 2009)

90 days in ..then 90 out ..it usually good for a year then take a longer break for a while
be cautious if you get denied at any you can no longer use the visa waiver ever 
and you have to apply for a visa ...the current trend is to deny that as well


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## Qewty (Oct 9, 2011)

Hi. 

When I began dating my partner, I lived in Australia, whilst my Canadian partner lived in the US (on a TN visa). I visted the US 4 times over a 2 year period, the first 2 visits were made on waivered visas, (one for 3 weeks, the next for 3 months in duration) and I was given incredible grief at a border crossing between Canada and the US for abusing the waivered visas. I had only been back in Australia 3 weeks before returning on the 2nd waivered visa so I understand how it appeared. Like you, I was always honest in my reasons for visiting, and never overstayed, bringing proof of return to my own country (letter of employment, return flights etc). I was advised that if I wanted to return, I should obtain a B2 visa. I went to the US Consulate in Australia and got one, returning 3 months later. Unfortunately, secondary interviews accompanied every visit to the US since that time. Two years later we married, so I left the US and next time returned with a TD visa. I know my situation is slightly different to yours (and indeed, we are now back in Australia partly due to the difficulties on entry), but my suggestion is be very careful about using the waivered visa's so often, it can be seen as abusing the rules, even though the rules are a little hazy. It is not always easy to have a partner in the US whilst you live in another country; many tears and hours standing at the secondary interview counter attest to that. I wish you well, it is 'do-able' - but you must be careful not to jeopardise your future plans that may include re-entry back into the States. I am glad I followed their 'recommendation' that I seek another visa, as I know I have stayed well within the boundaries required; especially important now that we may seek to return to the US.

Q


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## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

Qewty said:


> Hi.
> 
> When I began dating my partner, I lived in Australia, whilst my Canadian partner lived in the US (on a TN visa). I visted the US 4 times over a 2 year period, the first 2 visits were made on waivered visas, (one for 3 weeks, the next for 3 months in duration) and I was given incredible grief at a border crossing between Canada and the US for abusing the waivered visas. I had only been back in Australia 3 weeks before returning on the 2nd waivered visa so I understand how it appeared. Like you, I was always honest in my reasons for visiting, and never overstayed, bringing proof of return to my own country (letter of employment, return flights etc). I was advised that if I wanted to return, I should obtain a B2 visa. I went to the US Consulate in Australia and got one, returning 3 months later. Unfortunately, secondary interviews accompanied every visit to the US since that time. Two years later we married, so I left the US and next time returned with a TD visa. I know my situation is slightly different to yours (and indeed, we are now back in Australia partly due to the difficulties on entry), but my suggestion is be very careful about using the waivered visa's so often, it can be seen as abusing the rules, even though the rules are a little hazy. It is not always easy to have a partner in the US whilst you live in another country; many tears and hours standing at the secondary interview counter attest to that. I wish you well, it is 'do-able' - but you must be careful not to jeopardise your future plans that may include re-entry back into the States. I am glad I followed their 'recommendation' that I seek another visa, as I know I have stayed well within the boundaries required; especially important now that we may seek to return to the US.
> 
> Q



Can I ask who recommended the B2 visa for you? Was it someone at immigration control? Or did you speak to the US Embassy in Aus?

This is the exact advice I am looking for. I don't want to do anything to jeopardise me being able to see my girlfriend, and I want to make sure everything is done following the rules and legally. I don't want to get a rejected entry because of how hard it would be to possibly ever come back to the US.

While I understand why the rules and restrictions are there it is really annoying for those of us who are trying to do everything legally, especially when the rules are so vague. I didn't once think about travelling on the Visa Waiver as often would be seen as "abusing the rules" - I figured as I had to pay for an ESTA that I would make the most of having to have paid for it.

Can anyone tell me if it would be worth talking to the US Embassy in England and see what they say? Or would it be a pointless time wasting affair?

Once again thanks for any advice people can give me, its really appreciated


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## Crawford (Jan 23, 2011)

Since you are eligible for the VWP, sound relatively young, have a flexible work routine and unless you have a mortgage etc, have no major ties with the UK, then I would strongly advise against applying for the B2.

Should you be rejected for the B2 - and with the reasons mentioned above - you are likely to be, then you will not be able to use the VWP again but will have to continue to apply for a visa to visit the States. 

You are visiting on a regular basis, and have already been pulled into secondary questioning regarding these visits. As you say you would like to live in the US, and POE's are very acute as to people's motives.

I would continue with the VWP but curtail your visits to a maximum of 90 days in and minimum of 90 days out.

Probably cut the visits to two a year max.


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## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

Crawford said:


> Since you are eligible for the VWP, sound relatively young, have a flexible work routine and unless you have a mortgage etc, have no major ties with the UK, then I would strongly advise against applying for the B2.
> 
> Should you be rejected for the B2 - and with the reasons mentioned above - you are likely to be, then you will not be able to use the VWP again but will have to continue to apply for a visa to visit the States.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the advice for the B2.

Curtail? I'm already spending 3 months in the UK and less than a month (4 weeks MAXIMUM) in the US - any longer away from the UK and I would probably lose my job

When I came to the US this time and had secondary questioning, I was told it was the frequency of the visits that made them question me, but I was also told:

_"as you are coming for a short period each time and leaving well within the time limit then it's fine"_

(or something to that effect)

Cut down to 2 visits a year? I'm on 3 visits a year if we go by the 3 months out, 1 month in cycle. Will it really make that much difference?

I say I want to live in the US - one day, but I have not been asked this at immigration yet, and I am now in talks with my girlfriend about her possibly moving to the UK - this is still very up in the air as my situation has changed - i didn't expect to be getting into a relationship with a USC

Unfortunately she can't afford to visit me in the UK, nor does she have to the time to visit as she is studying her masters degree

I do understand that I will probably always get pulled into secondary from now on, and I'm fine with this. Is there anything else I can bring with me to try and help proove that I plan to come back to the UK when I say I will. Once I'm enrolled on my course (which costs a fair bit of money) will proof of enrollment be good enough to help proove ties back in the UK?

I really want to make it to my friends wedding, and obviosuly don't want a flag against my name for not getting an entry.

*EDIT: *if i was to cut the visits to 2 per year, would I be able to stay for a longer period of time or would that cause more hassle with immigration?

Staying a longer period of time really isn't ideal for me as it would make the finances a strain, which is why a visit for 4 weeks every 3 months/12 weeks is the ideal for me - the amount I get paid at work for the 12 weeks more than covers the time I take off. I do have a fair bit in savings also, should I need them


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## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

Another thought.. what if the trips were reduced to 2 or 3 weeks in the US then stay with 12 weeks in the UK, then another 2 or 3 weeks in the US... would that help my cause? Though it would increase the amount of trips to 3 and half a year, but the time spent in the US compared to the UK would decrease


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## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

Elysium said:


> Another thought.. what if the trips were reduced to 2 or 3 weeks in the US then stay with 12 weeks in the UK, then another 2 or 3 weeks in the US... would that help my cause? Though it would increase the amount of trips to 3 and half a year, but the time spent in the US compared to the UK would decrease


You have already been called to secondary questioning. Every entry/exit is documented and at the immigration officers' fingertips.
There is no written protocol to the number of visits under VWP. The maximum number of days in country are 90 and this is at discretion of the immigration officer at point of entry. 

As already posted - you cross the border frequently, are probably relatively young, have somewhat flexible employment and a girl friend in the US. What binding ties to the UK can you put on the table? Your comment "Can anyone tell me if it would be worth talking to the US Embassy in England and see what they say? Or would it be a pointless time wasting affair?" ...
travel.state.gov is the easier to navigate official site. Research VWP and B2. 

I have never come across an official link stating that refused B2 eliminates VWP on a permanent basis. Has anyone else? 

What it comes down to - cool your heels and live mit a carefully balanced long distance relationship until you are ready to make a commitment or play with fire. You are not the first and not the last couple facing this dilema. I had no intentions to get married when I did and less so to change citizenship 25 years later.
Good luck!


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## Liz in UK (Jul 31, 2011)

My husband and I were in a similar situation to yours. We met six years ago working at a summer camp, and started a relationship the following year. We did the back and forth thing for about 3 and 1/2 years before getting engaged and a further 6 months after getting engaged before I finally made it to the UK. The road ahead of you isn't easy, and I really wish you the best of luck.

As for travel arrangements and length of time between visits, I think whether you get stopped for secondary questioning again in the future will be entirely dependent upon the Immigration Officer you get. My husband was and still is self employed, and lived with his parents when we were going through this, so the only proof he had of his intentions to return to the UK was his return ticket.

We visited each other about as often as was possible, but he definitely made more trips than I did. Our visits went something like this: (Let's call me 'L" and my husband 'G')

G to US December 2007 for 2 weeks

G to US March/April 2008 for 2.5 weeks
G to US August/September 2008 for 6 weeks

L to UK January 2009 for 2 weeks
G to US February/March 2009 for 6 weeks
L to UK July-December 2009 for 6 months

G to US May 2010 for 2 weeks
L to UK July 2010 for 6 weeks
G to US December 2010/January 2011 for 6 weeks

G to US March/April 2011 for 6 weeks
G to US June/July 2011 for 3 weeks
L to UK July 2011 on Fiancee visa

I was stopped in the UK for the 6 month stint and looked at a bit more closely the next time I came a year later, but the only hassle he ever had at the border was that he still has a valid J1 visa in his passport. (Somehow when they issued it, it was valid for 5 years instead of 5 months.) Whenever asked, he said he was visiting his girlfriend, and later fiancee. So you can see he came over frequently for relatively long visits on occasion, but there were normally 2-3 months or more between his visits, and when it was longer, I visited. I will say that I didn't have much money to pay for flights either, so there were a few visits that I made that my husband paid for, so that may be an option if your girlfriend has the time free and not much money if you're desperate to see her and worried that your last visit was too soon for the comfort of US immigration, as there's no reason you can't buy a ticket in her name with your credit card.

To sum up, the advice others have given you is pretty good. This is just my life experience and every one is going to be different, so what was fine for us may not be fine for you. How easy it will be for you at the border will be different every time, and as previously stated, you will probably face secondary questioning every time because they've already done it once. All I can say is that when you do visit, have a return ticket, a letter from your employer stating when you're expected back, something showing when your uni course starts, or whatever you have that will show you have every intention of going back to the UK, and be honest when they ask you a question, but don't volunteer information. My husband always said (when asked) that he was there to visit his girlfriend. If they asked about our future plans, he said (And I said the same thing to UK immigration) that we were not ready for marriage at this time, but if things progressed that way, we had every intention of doing things legally and getting the proper visas. One time he came to visit after we were engaged he said he was visiting his fiancee, they asked how long and then stamped his passport without any more questions. 

Good luck with everything.


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## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

Thanks for all the advice it's really helpful

Liz - did either you or your husband ever travel with proof of ties for your home countries? Something other than the return flight?

Also can I ask where your husband was flying in to? I have heard that smaller airports might be a bit more leniant due to a number of reasons - including the officers aren't so busy and are therefore less stressed and in a better mood and that if the airport is in a smaller city (NOT New York, LA, Dallas etc) where there are generally less tourists - if anyone else can comment on this that would be great.

I'm wondering what might be a good thing to use as proof that I plan to come back to the UK each time, other than just a return flight.

I understand that the "evidence" is completely up to the immigration officer whether it counts as good enough to tie me back home or not, but it would be great to know what other people have used


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## Liz in UK (Jul 31, 2011)

Elysium said:


> Thanks for all the advice it's really helpful
> 
> Liz - did either you or your husband ever travel with proof of ties for your home countries? Something other than the return flight?
> 
> ...


I'm not sure Gord ever traveled with much proof, except the first year we were together when he was still at University. But he had done seven summers of Camp America on a J1 visa, so he had a long and positive immigration record (Always leaving on time.)

I always took out a travel health insurance policy that expired the day after my flight home as a sign that I had every intention of leaving when I said I would, but also to prove that I wouldn't need the NHS, and be a drain on the UK tax payer. My ties to the US were always a bit tenuous, as I had to leave my job to come over for 6 months, but I convinced immigration I had every intention of behaving. And when I came over for 6 weeks in 2010 I had to return home as my father had fallen very ill and I was moving to care for him after my visit to the UK. (I was planning to leave anyway, but the fact that I had to go home for my father showed stronger ties than just saying I would leave.)

One thing we always did was to have an itinerary for the visit, as the primary purpose of the visa waiver is for tourism. So we always had at least a tentative plan of things to see and do in our respective countries, and we always had them written down. If there were tickets for things or hotel reservations, we always traveled with confirmation of those, so that if Immigration asked, they could see that while we were visiting primarily to see each other, there were firm plans to be tourists and make it a vacation, and not look for work then disappear. (If you do things like take day trips or have a weekend away in a nice place, make sure you take photos of the two of you together. This will help you if things to progress and you have to apply for a visa in the future.)

As for airports, I'm not sure it matters. I flew into Bristol and was detained for two hours when I came for six months (Understandable really) but Gord always flew into major airports; Newark, JFK, O'hare, and Dulles. He always breezed right through. I think even if you flew into a smaller airport, there are certain things they will pick up on. 

When (if) you come over for your friend's wedding in September, my advice is to have proof of your uni course, a letter stating when you're due back at work, travel insurance, a return flight, and an itinerary for your visit. Can't guarantee that they will let you in, but those things certainly couldn't hurt. I would guess that while you may be taken in for secondary questioning, they will see that you are a genuine visitor and you will be ok. But I am not an immigration officer and can't guarantee it. Best of luck to you!


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## Qewty (Oct 9, 2011)

Not sure if this is helpful to you, but I carried a letter from my employer stating that they approved the length of leave and the date I was to return to work. At one visit I was asked (at secondary interview) to show my bank account statements (yes, I had them on me, prepared for anything). It really does depend on the officer. When I stated to one that I had 2 children in Australia (21 and 18), he said "that means nothing, they are young enough for you to leave them there". I guess all I'm saying is take all that you can.

Q

(oh, and regarding the B visa, I applied for one of those because when I looked visa's up that I figured that was my only option other than the waivered visa at the time).


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## thyrag (Jul 27, 2009)

Hi I have been in a LDR with my American bf for the past 5 years, I have visited him twice and will be going back again next year. He is hoping to come back with me next year to Australia for a visit.
When I went to the States on my last visit, I got asked about my employment and if I had any proof like my ID badge for work. I guess it was because it was like a year in between visits.
I thought wow, why would I carry that around with me but this time when I go I am taking that with me. This airport was San Francisco, where I got a bit of an interrogation. I found LAX to be cool. I was honest too about visiting my boyfriend, on both occasions. I went for 3 months and then 6 weeks visits.
This time I am hoping to stay for 2 months so I can get him organised to come back lol
We are going to look into immigration stuff for him when he is here as we are eventually going to get married.
Hope this was little bit of help, good luck with everything
Thyra


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## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

A big thanks to everyone, it's good to hear success stories and people going through the same or similar situations as me

It's also good to have all this advice in one place.

I did think about the employer's letter, but an issue with that is i work for an agency, so my work is often only sorted out the day before, or a week before i am required. And while work isn't guaranteed, (and I don't mean to brag) but I am very good at my job and am reguarly asked for by name to work at different organisations - some of which offered me full time posts after 1 or 2 days (which due to the LDR situation wouldn't suit me as i wouldnt get the time off, as well as i would actually get paid less money)

I do currently live with my father, who has a bad knee and occasionally needs driving places and things like that - i usually do the shopping for him because he cant walk around on it for long periods of time.

And while I do this, it was never recommended by the doctor, but would a doctors letter explaining he has a problem with mobility help with prooving I intend to go back and "look after" him?

I dont know why i hadnt thought about that before, i guess because neither me or my father really make a big deal out of it

thanks once again, i'm so glad everyone here has been helpful and friendly, i wish everyone the best in the future - who knows, i could be living near some of you in the future!


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## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

Doesn't having a father with medical issues as binding tie sound a bit odd when you regularly leave him for weeks at a time?


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## galaxysurfer (Apr 20, 2012)

twostep said:


> I have never come across an official link stating that refused B2 eliminates VWP on a permanent basis. Has anyone else?


No, and you probably won't, but the moment you complete the ESTA one of the questions it asks you is; 'Have you ever been refused a Visa' (or something like that), so, if you were refused a B2 visa (like I was) then you're automatically excluded from the Visa Waiver Programme/ESTA assuming you are being honest when completing the on-line form (it wouldn't pay NOT to be honest anyway as they keep records like everyone else). I have come to the conclusion mentioned earlier, to wit; never volunteer information; when it comes to dealing with the US authorities, (it seems), the more honest and reliable you are...the more it doesn't make a damn bit of difference.
(My Gf is also in the States, and I was refused last October, despite being honest, no convictions etc they refused me on the grounds of 'not strong enough ties to the UK', despite the fact I had two children from a previous marriage both under 12 yrs old.
I don't know what to do now. Feel like ending it all if I'm being honest as I can't see anyway around this as she can't come here, unfortunately).
Good luck to you , Elysium, hope you have better success than I did. 

PS Oh!, and as I've seen previously on here; don't phone the UK Embassy for advice; (apart from the extremely high cost of the phone calls -and I mean EXTREME-) then believe it or not they're not there to HELP you get a visa...quite the opposite if anything.


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## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

twostep said:


> Doesn't having a father with medical issues as binding tie sound a bit odd when you regularly leave him for weeks at a time?


yeah like i said, its again not really something we make a big deal of. its one of those injuries that gets worse some days and is better other days.

some days he cant move, other days he can move just fine, so like i said its not really something that came to mind.

also my fathers brother lives about half hour away, so if need be he could look after him while i was away, but yeah i see why immigration would see that as odd.

its just a bad situation for me i guess, i came last year for 6 weeks to see friends i havent seen for 6 years, one of my friends got engaged and planned the marriage for this september. i wasn't planning to come back until then, but on the last day of my 6 week trip i met my girlfriend and we decided to give long distance a try.

didn't think it would be so much of an issue of planning to stay illegally etc, especially when im employed, all my family live in the uk and i have all my savings tied up in accounts that arent easily accessible (for the purpose of saving)

its only now i find it could be an issue.

life huh? ha ha. not going to let it put me off, if i get refused entry then i'll find another way to see her.

hopefully my university course will be enough to tie me back to the uk[/FONT]


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## kaljames (Jan 8, 2011)

In 2003 I visited my then Girlfriend who was still in her last year of High School; my visa waiver ran out a week after she graduated High School and so we didnt actually get to take any trips or really spend much quality time together because she was studying hard.
I decided to go to London for a week instead of coming back home to New Zealand so that I could re-enter the US and get another 3 month waiver but was stopped by immigration on the way back in North Carolina.
I was taken to an office and made to wait for 50 mins while they sweated me; I was a naive 18 year old at the time so I was pretty much s##ting myself but after they questioned me and called up my girlfriend they let me into the country with a warning.
The warning they gave me was come for 3 months and then go to your HOME country for a minimum of 6 otherwise they get suspicious.

My girlfriend and I only spent about 8 months apart during our Long Distance relationship before we actually did things the right way through immigration.
International Relationships are tricky; we have gone through immigrations for New Zealand 2 times, America once and almost finished with yet another greencard process to move back to America a second time.

We have been married 7 years so it works.


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## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

kaljames said:


> I
> My girlfriend and I only spent about 8 months apart during our Long Distance relationship before we actually did things the right way through immigration.
> International Relationships are tricky; we have gone through immigrations for New Zealand 2 times, America once and almost finished with yet another greencard process to move back to America a second time.
> 
> We have been married 7 years so it works.


your post is very useful. like i said above, i wasnt planning to come back in September, but as my friend is getting married, and i got second questioning when i came in june, i just wanted to know what other people's opinions were.

your relationship sounds complex, moiving between new zealand and the us so much. i'm hoping that when/if my gf and i get to the stage of marriage that we will be fine living in which ever country we choose at the time without the need to keep changing.

i will be enrolled on my university course, and as its my final year of a degree i'm hoping this will work in my favour to proove i plan to come back to the uk.

i'm also hoping the fact that my stays are never longer than 4 weeks, and i spend at least double, usually triple, that amount of time in the uk will be enough to proove im not working in the us, but am working in the uk to raise the money for the trip. the guy who second questioned me last time seemed to understand this and did say "as you are staying for short periods of time and longer in the uk than us then its fine" so i hope i either have this guy next time, or someone just as understanding.


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## chachi (Jul 20, 2012)

US immigration is worried about the person leaving the country. As long as you are honest you have demonstrated that you come and go as planned ( no over stays) you should be fine. I would not approach any type of immigration visa at this time. The only and best immigration visa is the Fiance Visa once you guys decide if that is your path. You have to get married within 6 month and can immediately apply for a Green card. 

For me an my wife I met her stayed in touch and were married 8 months later. Four years later the best thing I ever did. After being married it took her four attempts over three years to get a visitor visa to the US. We have never lived in the US so no big deal. I am an American living overseas. 

Best of luck n love.


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## Elysium (Mar 1, 2012)

chachi said:


> US immigration is worried about the person leaving the country. As long as you are honest you have demonstrated that you come and go as planned ( no over stays) you should be fine. I would not approach any type of immigration visa at this time. The only and best immigration visa is the Fiance Visa once you guys decide if that is your path. You have to get married within 6 month and can immediately apply for a Green card.
> 
> For me an my wife I met her stayed in touch and were married 8 months later. Four years later the best thing I ever did. After being married it took her four attempts over three years to get a visitor visa to the US. We have never lived in the US so no big deal. I am an American living overseas.
> 
> Best of luck n love.


Thanks and congratulations.

As the time is getting nearer, I've been doing some thinking. Things have changed and I won't be enrolled on my uni course before I fly out (as I am having to do some credit transfer which will take 6-8 weeks before being enrolled)

However, during the interview, if at any point they seem unsure about letting me in, is it worth pointing out that I have never overstayed a visa, and always gone back to England not only within the visa time limit, but on the date I specified when entering the US? Or is that likely to make things worse - i don't want to come across as calling them stupid for not thinking about it.

Also, if they ask me about marrying my girlfriend, would it make sense to state that if the situation arised we would go down the legal route with the correct visas, or is it best just to say "i have no marriage plans" and leave it at that?


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## Davis1 (Feb 20, 2009)

Elysium said:


> Thanks and congratulations.
> 
> As the time is getting nearer, I've been doing some thinking. Things have changed and I won't be enrolled on my uni course before I fly out (as I am having to do some credit transfer which will take 6-8 weeks before being enrolled)
> 
> ...


nobody ever listens ... tell the truth and only the truth


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## galaxysurfer (Apr 20, 2012)

Davis1 said:


> nobody ever listens ... tell the truth and only the truth


Because the truth will set you free?

I told the truth and wish I hadn't. They still refused me.
Because of my dealings with the visa people, I have actually come to the belief that telling the truth doesn't often pay (however neither does lying in the long run), but really, when it comes to making good people (me) start thinking twice about being honest, what good is the system?


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