# How long does homesickness last



## hallelr (Jan 8, 2015)

I've been here for a couple weeks now and I love the UK and living here is truly a dream come true, but I just can't stop crying now everyday missing my family so much. My husband works long hours so I'm pretty much home by myself. I have had several job interviews and feedback has been great, so just awaiting any offers. My daughter comes over next month so I'm sure that will make me feel better, but I'm still very sad each day. I try not to bother my husband as he works a lot. I've always worked so I'm not used to being home all day alone. Does anyone know how long this homesickness feeling lasts? My whole family is together and I feel so alone.


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## clever-octopus (May 17, 2015)

I'm so sorry... I don't think that homesickness lasts the same amount of time for everyone so there's no rule really. I do know it helps to get out as much as possible, and to stay active physically. Make time to at least go for a walk every day (weather permitting). Get involved with a gym or sport, find your own place in your community. For me, this meant finding a choir to sing with and getting out for a run every day. I'm sure it will be much more bearable when you are finally reunited with your daughter  Good luck!


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## Pallykin (Mar 30, 2014)

I've been home for periods in the past when between jobs, and I've developed some strategies for coping with too much alone time. I listen to a lot of BBC radio and NPR radio, which I stream. I try to have some accomplishments around the house planned, sometimes just regular housework, sometimes it's more ambitious such as painting a window. I spend a certain amount of time on the job search most days, but it can feel like a Sisyphean task in large doses.

Since you are new to Weybridge, you'll need to work a bit hard to make some friends. You could join a knitting group (Weybridge stitch n ***** knitting group), or join your local Leisure Centre and take some classes. You could join the Weybridge Vandals Netball Club and learn a new sport. Weybridge Vandals Netball Club What sorts of things have you enjoyed doing in the past?

Have you tried using Skype or FaceTime to talk to friends back home? While you have the flexibility, you can accommodate the time difference. Hopefully you will have a job offer soon, and that will fill your days and allow you to make some work friends.


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## nyclon (Apr 3, 2011)

There is an American woman's club in Surrey.

American Women of Surrey


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## MelodyPond (Jan 4, 2013)

Other options could be to try volunteering: https://do-it.org/opportunities/search 
You could try volunteering for the National Trust or similar organisations. 

There is also a website Find your people - Meetup which lets you find groups of all kinds near you (cooking, photography, hiking, etc). 

If you don't drive you could try cycling to move around maybe or just for leisure? Here's an interactive map with cycling routes near you (make sure you check which routes are on road for safety): Route 221 - Map | Sustrans


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## Madeleine (Jun 25, 2013)

hallelr said:


> I've been here for a couple weeks now and I love the UK and living here is truly a dream come true, but I just can't stop crying now everyday missing my family so much. My husband works long hours so I'm pretty much home by myself. I have had several job interviews and feedback has been great, so just awaiting any offers. My daughter comes over next month so I'm sure that will make me feel better, but I'm still very sad each day. I try not to bother my husband as he works a lot. I've always worked so I'm not used to being home all day alone. Does anyone know how long this homesickness feeling lasts? My whole family is together and I feel so alone.


I'm so sorry to hear this. The time frame for homesickness and also the severity is different for everyone, but it's particularly severe for me at the moment. I have lived in the UK for almost two years now and only been home to Australia once (November last year for my brother's wedding and that was only a 2 week visit). My Mum and Dad came over when I got married in April and I almost wish they hadn't because saying goodbye to them was just awful and I truly went to pieces for days after they left. Saying goodbye to people just destroys me and I'm at the stage now where I think it is easier for me to just not see my family. I don't know if that makes sense? I think my family just seem like they are so far away (because they are!) as the flight to Australia is so long and so expensive. My partner and I were in a long distance relationship for 6 years before we got married and while we missed each other terribly, it was something I got used to when I was home with my family around me and I am now realising that this homesickness feeling is much worse than missing my partner was. I think that might be because, despite having lived here for 2 years, I still don't have a lot of close friends (I've made one - I work with people who are a lot older than me). I'm sick of everything being about my partner and my partner's family all the time and I feel isolated a great deal of the time.

It took me almost a year to find a full time, permanent job, and like you I am used to working. Before that I did temp work for a recruitment agency and there were periods, sometimes quite lengthy, where I wasn't getting any work at all. I found this to be the worst time, especially if my partner went out with friends after work and didn't get home until late. I kind of just retreated into myself during that time mostly because I didn't have any money to do anything (most of my savings had gone on my share of rent and bills whilst I wasn't working), but also because I think, being prone to bouts of depression, that I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to do anything about it. I wish I had joined clubs or tried to make friends. I have a gym membership which helps sometimes. For me, I had an awful period of homesickness have been when I first arrived (my partner and I were having problems at that stage but have thankfully got through that now), then after I got my current job I was okay for about a year, now it's bad again I think because it's the longest I've ever been away from home and seeing my parents in April made me realise how much I miss everyone. My sister has a two year old who I have met once and another baby due in October and it's really upsetting for me when I think that I am missing their childhoods. I've been there as an auntie to my partner's niece and I know this really upsets my sister.

Sorry to have made this about myself! I'm rubbish at giving advice but I wish that I had joined clubs or something or taken a class to meet new people. I think that would have helped with homesickness and it is something that I am trying to do at the moment (just trying to find a class that interests me that isn't too expensive or at an unsociable hour as I rely on public transport to get home). I find the occasional FaceTime or Skype call helps too. Like clever-octopus, I would recommend joining a gym or doing some other physical activity. I couldn't afford a gym membership when I first arrived as I wasn't working but now I find that if I am really down, taking it out on the treadmill works wonders for me. I really hope that you have support from your husband's family? My partner's family are great (most of the time!) but it's still not the same ...


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## hallelr (Jan 8, 2015)

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! I will definitely look into all of these. I've been Skyping with my family a lot and had a great job interview today in London, so things are looking up. I also signed up with a yoga studio in Soho. I think it's just best to accept that I'll have bouts of homesickness, but I have plenty of positives to look forward to here as well.


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## hallelr (Jan 8, 2015)

Madeleine said:


> I'm so sorry to hear this. The time frame for homesickness and also the severity is different for everyone, but it's particularly severe for me at the moment. I have lived in the UK for almost two years now and only been home to Australia once (November last year for my brother's wedding and that was only a 2 week visit). My Mum and Dad came over when I got married in April and I almost wish they hadn't because saying goodbye to them was just awful and I truly went to pieces for days after they left. Saying goodbye to people just destroys me and I'm at the stage now where I think it is easier for me to just not see my family. I don't know if that makes sense? I think my family just seem like they are so far away (because they are!) as the flight to Australia is so long and so expensive. My partner and I were in a long distance relationship for 6 years before we got married and while we missed each other terribly, it was something I got used to when I was home with my family around me and I am now realising that this homesickness feeling is much worse than missing my partner was. I think that might be because, despite having lived here for 2 years, I still don't have a lot of close friends (I've made one - I work with people who are a lot older than me). I'm sick of everything being about my partner and my partner's family all the time and I feel isolated a great deal of the time.
> 
> It took me almost a year to find a full time, permanent job, and like you I am used to working. Before that I did temp work for a recruitment agency and there were periods, sometimes quite lengthy, where I wasn't getting any work at all. I found this to be the worst time, especially if my partner went out with friends after work and didn't get home until late. I kind of just retreated into myself during that time mostly because I didn't have any money to do anything (most of my savings had gone on my share of rent and bills whilst I wasn't working), but also because I think, being prone to bouts of depression, that I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to do anything about it. I wish I had joined clubs or tried to make friends. I have a gym membership which helps sometimes. For me, I had an awful period of homesickness have been when I first arrived (my partner and I were having problems at that stage but have thankfully got through that now), then after I got my current job I was okay for about a year, now it's bad again I think because it's the longest I've ever been away from home and seeing my parents in April made me realise how much I miss everyone. My sister has a two year old who I have met once and another baby due in October and it's really upsetting for me when I think that I am missing their childhoods. I've been there as an auntie to my partner's niece and I know this really upsets my sister.
> 
> Sorry to have made this about myself! I'm rubbish at giving advice but I wish that I had joined clubs or something or taken a class to meet new people. I think that would have helped with homesickness and it is something that I am trying to do at the moment (just trying to find a class that interests me that isn't too expensive or at an unsociable hour as I rely on public transport to get home). I find the occasional FaceTime or Skype call helps too. Like clever-octopus, I would recommend joining a gym or doing some other physical activity. I couldn't afford a gym membership when I first arrived as I wasn't working but now I find that if I am really down, taking it out on the treadmill works wonders for me. I really hope that you have support from your husband's family? My partner's family are great (most of the time!) but it's still not the same ...


Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It's so helpful to know that others feel the same way. I did sign up for yoga and started running again. My partner's parents are great and close by, although they do go on holiday quite a bit  Once I get my daughter over, my car and a job, I'll start to feel normal.


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## bear_square (Jul 14, 2015)

*meetup with others*

Hi - I encountered extreme homesickness when I moved to India to study abroad. The course was 6 months long, but after one, two weeks, I was extremely sad and missing home. Some of my fellow students didn't make through that period and returned home. It took me about a month to get over it. 

My advice is similar to others above - get involved in some community activities - you can find like minded groups on meetup.com doing all kinds of activities to help you settle into your new community. You say you've been running - great! I found lots of friendship and community when I joined a running club when I moved to Glasgow once upon a time. Good luck, the sickness will pass, although it's different for everyone. Be patient and forgiving of yourself .


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