# Dumb question #1,484,072



## Yozhik (Feb 25, 2010)

Right ... this is going to sound silly and petty ... but here goes :ranger:


What is the kissing/greeting etiquette in Spain?
It seems to differ all over Europe and is always nice to do correctly and embarrassing not to do with 'confidence'.

Hungary is 2 kisses on the cheek - first right, then left.
Russia is 3 cheek kisses - right, left, right.

UK? ... various, but normally restricted to just 1 'peck'.
Italy, France ... all have a local tradition.

So, the dumb questions;

1) what is the Spanish etiquette; i.e. the actual mechanics - how many times, starting which cheek.

2) who and where? i.e. is it standard or does there have to be some form of familiarity - if so, how much.

3) is there a gender distinction? i.e. woman to woman, woman to man, man to man


Thanks!


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Yozhik said:


> Right ... this is going to sound silly and petty ... but here goes :ranger:
> 
> 
> What is the kissing/greeting etiquette in Spain?
> ...


Here's a thread that dealt with this to a certain extent.

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/spain-expat-forum-expats-living-spain/26779-kissing-builder.html

In general it's a kiss on both cheeks, women to women and men to women, (men just shake hands and it's the pat on the back that is the mystery element there!) and can be expected from just about anyone, you never know!!


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## nigele2 (Dec 25, 2009)

Yozhik said:


> What is the kissing/greeting etiquette in Spain?
> It seems to differ all over Europe and is always nice to do correctly and embarrassing not to do with 'confidence'.


Been there. Been embarrassed 

Sadly no easy detailed answer I think. In my spanish family from Jaen, Seville and Madrid an almost peck on two cheeks seems the norm. Some of the guys, especially from Jaen, do the same to each other but knowing I'm english only one of my spanish nephews (in his low 30s) greets me that way and he does it so naturally it just happens. He couldn't be a stronger masculine guy by the way so it is not associated with any obvious feminine side.

Outside family and close friends, for me that means business contacts in Madrid and Barcelona, a warm but thankfully not bone crushing handshake always works and is appreciated.

In Asturias with associates like my property agent with her I just nod and smile. With him a handshake.

In Franco's day there was a book on how to behave. Just for interest I'll ask my wife to dig hers out and I'll get back to you. Not that I'm suggesting the old fascist ever offered anything good to the world.


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

Yes, pretty arbitrary! 

What I HATE is expats doing it among themselves. Does this idea get handed to them with their tickets at Gatwick? The expat who can´t offer a coffee seems to think that the barman wants a cuddle. Is that learning Spanish? 

I was in a bar in Fuengirola with a Spanish object of my lust a few weeks ago and pointed this out. Long time drinking buddies of Joaquín would perhaps shake hands in that half a hi 5 manner favoured by American B movies but Finnish expats would expect him to run around from his bar to peck them. Now, I can assure you that I know of NO nationality less "keen" on signs of affection than the Finnish. In 90 minutes or so this must have happened 4 or 5 times. Quite bizarre. 

I am much more reserved and among expats would shake hands with anybody but would not "peck" a woman unless I knew her well or she moved forward. The reality is that more and more seem to favour it as a form of greeting. Xtreme has a theory on this but I think we are best to move on!


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

I find here in the village it depends on how well you know the other party or how well your families know each other or are acquainted. It comes, still, as a little surprise to be kissed by another male and I often find that their teenage offspring (male and female) do it too, so it must be that within that family, they are touchy-feely-kissy-wissy.

When i go into the local shop (bit like a Spar) Don Miguel will, unless he is serving someone, come forward to shake my hand and often his daughters will peck-peck and one will even squeeze my forearm in a 'knowing' sort of way (Hmmmm).

Doctors (male and female) will always shake hands - could be that it is a way of homogenising the germs so that if they have to treat one and it works, then the same will do for the rest of the village!


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## VFR (Dec 23, 2009)

Just remember no tongue's


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## Guest (Mar 18, 2010)

Yozhik said:


> Right ... this is going to sound silly and petty ... but here goes :ranger:
> 
> 
> What is the kissing/greeting etiquette in Spain?
> ...


 NOT A DUMB QUESTION. 
I've been here for two years, I'm dating a Spanish boy, and I STILL do not have this skill down! Thanks for having the huevos to ask


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

halydia said:


> NOT A DUMB QUESTION.
> I've been here for two years, I'm dating a Spanish boy, and I STILL do not have this skill down! Thanks for having the huevos to ask


Surely if you are dating you are past the mwah mwah stage?


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## Guest (Mar 18, 2010)

baldilocks said:


> Surely if you are dating you are past the mwah mwah stage?


:spit: 
Should've been clearer about what I said  
Revision: "...and I still feel uncomfortable about what to do when I walk into the restaurant and his extended family is there!"

And don't worry, it's now mwah mwah mwah mwah stage.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

halydia said:


> :spit:
> Should've been clearer about what I said
> Revision: "...and I still feel uncomfortable about what to do when I walk into the restaurant and his extended family is there!"
> 
> And don't worry, it's now mwah mwah mwah mwah stage.


You did have me a little worried, i know from friends of ours up in that neck of the woods that the natives can be a little under-demonstrative where affection is concerned, but, really...


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## Guest (Mar 18, 2010)

baldilocks said:


> You did have me a little worried, i know from friends of ours up in that neck of the woods that the natives can be a little under-demonstrative where affection is concerned, but, really...


They're certainly not as liberal as I hear the southerners can be!  But don't you worry, I found myself a proper Spanish boy from this neck of the woods. None of that local funny business.


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