# school bullying



## sadanne (Feb 25, 2010)

Hi all you fellow expats, this is my first time on this site and I felt it would be the best way for me to share my experiences and hopefully gain some support or information.
I have lived here now for 3yrs along with my husband and 3 children we have struggled and on many occasions nearly returned home but are still hanging on. My children all go to greek schools as private education was never a financial option, they all enjoyed attending are local elementary school and I have built up a very good relationship with the headmistress and her staff who have been very supportive . My two youngest children still attend that school but unfortunately my eldest daughter left last september and now goes to Emba Gymnasium where the problems really started.
Since starting there she has bullied by students had racsist remarks made to her by students and teachers as well as being molested by boys and spat at the latest incident resulted in a hospital visit. I have seen the deputy principal concerning her being molested and the boys did get told off and it has stopped but everthing else continues I am due another visit to the school next week to complain but my intention is to take this matter further as my daughter no longer wants to go to school and her education is the pits. Why is this allowed to happen when this country is now part of europe, is anyone else having simular problems not just with Emba.


----------



## handsomeguy31 (Jan 21, 2010)

Can I ask firstly which primary school your children attended/attend and what this was like? We move out shortly and we are in the same boat financially. It must be devastating to see this as a parent. I know this is wrong but Im a firm believer in sorting things out myself if the authorities don't sort it out but thats not an option for many people. When you come from a country where everything is fair and everyone is tolerant it can be hard to except.


----------



## kimonas (Jul 19, 2008)

sadanne said:


> Hi all you fellow expats, this is my first time on this site and I felt it would be the best way for me to share my experiences and hopefully gain some support or information.
> I have lived here now for 3yrs along with my husband and 3 children we have struggled and on many occasions nearly returned home but are still hanging on. My children all go to greek schools as private education was never a financial option, they all enjoyed attending are local elementary school and I have built up a very good relationship with the headmistress and her staff who have been very supportive . My two youngest children still attend that school but unfortunately my eldest daughter left last september and now goes to Emba Gymnasium where the problems really started.
> Since starting there she has bullied by students had racsist remarks made to her by students and teachers as well as being molested by boys and spat at the latest incident resulted in a hospital visit. I have seen the deputy principal concerning her being molested and the boys did get told off and it has stopped but everthing else continues I am due another visit to the school next week to complain but my intention is to take this matter further as my daughter no longer wants to go to school and her education is the pits. Why is this allowed to happen when this country is now part of europe, is anyone else having simular problems not just with Emba.


Unfortunately many children experience bullying at school irrespective of their cultural background - in someways, what your daughter has experienced is part of the rather distasteful rite of passage, intensified by being in a minority and an easy target for a peer group which is teaming with young people going through emotional and physical change. Teachers of all schools, private, state, Cypriot, English, whatever nationality - all report the same phenomenon. The Ministry of Education is intensely aware of the issue of bullying against ex-patriot children, and last year set up a task force to investigate it and suggest solutions. Of course to undertsand the problem is not to excuse the phenomenon of bullying in any way. You should make it clear that you are extremely unhappy with the situation, keep meticulous records (preferably inlcuding photographs and eyewitness statements). You need to speak to the Principal immediately (don't wait until parent's evening - this is urgent). Let him know that unless he can convince you (in writing) that he will instigate an action plan to monitor and protect your daughter's right to a teaching and learning environment that is free from racial/sexual abuse and intimidation then you will be contacting the Minister of Education and the appropraite Directorate General of the European Commission (who rather conveniently is Cypriot, the wife of the Ex-President of Cyprus). He may argue that there is little he can do to control adolescent students (and he'd be wrong) but he can certainly do something about his staff. It is the case that schools still hold general assemblies and celebrations of independence and commemorate the bitter struggle against the British (1954-1959) - I have sat through such assemblies and they do sometimes border on polemics of racial hatred - perhaps these stir up trouble in the playground. They are endorsed by the Ministry of Education, indeed each one starts by a speech from the Minister that is read out simultaneously at all schools (state and private). It might be worth investigating whether the troubles your daughter has expereinced coincided with such an assembly.


----------



## theresoon (Apr 11, 2008)

Totally agree with Kimonas here but I would go a step further. this was not just bulling- molestation was involved in which case I would get the police to investigate asap.


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

handsomeguy31 said:


> When you *come from a country where everything is fair and everyone is tolerant* it can be hard to except.


You don't come the UK I take it then.

sadanne - Bullying is a terrible thing to go through, both for child and family, but of course, is to be found where ever you go. It has to be met head on and I really hope you get the support that you need from the school and authorities.


----------



## handsomeguy31 (Jan 21, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> You don't come the UK I take it then.
> 
> sadanne - Bullying is a terrible thing to go through, both for child and family, but of course, is to be found where ever you go. It has to be met head on and I really hope you get the support that you need from the school and authorities.


Yes I come from England. Racism is dealt with harshly and immediately in Britain and Id class the above statement as racism or discrimination against the little girls nationality or white skin colour.


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

handsomeguy31 said:


> Yes I come from England. Racism is dealt with harshly and immediately in Britain and Id class the above statement as racism or discrimination against the little girls nationality or white skin colour.


I too am from the UK. It seems we differ in our opinion of how authorities deal with racism in our native country. Just so as my message is clear I do not think that the people in the UK treat all races equally and I was surprised when I read your opinion that we come from a country that treats people fairly and justly. I do not agree.
My comment to sadanne can in no way be construed as racist in my opinion.
I would like to reiterate my sympathy with her present problem and can only hope that it will soon be over.
Out of respect for her :focus:
If you wish to contact me further you could try PM.


----------



## Veronica (Apr 5, 2008)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I too am from the UK. It seems we differ in our opinion of how authorities deal with racism in our native country. Just so as my message is clear I do not think that the people in the UK treat all races equally and I was surprised when I read your opinion that we come from a country that treats people fairly and justly. I do not agree.
> My comment to sadanne can in no way be construed as racist in my opinion.
> I would like to reiterate my sympathy with her present problem and can only hope that it will soon be over.
> Out of respect for her :focus:
> If you wish to contact me further you could try PM.


Pesky Wesky is absolutely right in saying that bullying and racism is rife in the Uk as it is EVERYWHERE.
It is an unfortunate fact of life that as more people move from their native countries this sort of thing occurs.
It is up to the authorities to deal with it and for those who are on the receiving end to stand up for themselves and say I will not accept this.
School bullying also occurs in schools where everyone is of the ethnic origin so no racism involved there. Chidlren can be very cruel and often just the fact that someone is a little bit different. shorter than average, taller than average, fatter than average, has a speech impediment etc is enough for the not so nice children to bully them. It is not always a matter of being of a different ethnic origin. Just a very unfortunate fact of life that not everyone is nice.

Veronica


----------



## handsomeguy31 (Jan 21, 2010)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I too am from the UK. It seems we differ in our opinion of how authorities deal with racism in our native country. Just so as my message is clear I do not think that the people in the UK treat all races equally and I was surprised when I read your opinion that we come from a country that treats people fairly and justly. I do not agree.
> My comment to sadanne can in no way be construed as racist in my opinion.
> I would like to reiterate my sympathy with her present problem and can only hope that it will soon be over.
> Out of respect for her :focus:
> If you wish to contact me further you could try PM.


Sorry I didnt mean it like that. I was tired when I wrote it. I was meant to say the original thread about the girl being bullied, not your above statement. Apologies.


----------



## BabsM (May 24, 2008)

Veronica said:


> Pesky Wesky is absolutely right in saying that bullying and racism is rife in the Uk as it is EVERYWHERE.
> It is an unfortunate fact of life that as more people move from their native countries this sort of thing occurs.
> It is up to the authorities to deal with it and for those who are on the receiving end to stand up for themselves and say I will not accept this.
> School bullying also occurs in schools where everyone is of the ethnic origin so no racism involved there. Chidlren can be very cruel and often just the fact that someone is a little bit different. shorter than average, taller than average, fatter than average, has a speech impediment etc is enough for the not so nice children to bully them. It is not always a matter of being of a different ethnic origin. Just a very unfortunate fact of life that not everyone is nice.
> ...


Well said Veronica.


----------



## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

handsomeguy31 said:


> Sorry I didnt mean it like that. I was tired when I wrote it. I was meant to say the original thread about the girl being bullied, not your above statement. Apologies.


OK.
Now, how about some help for sadanne????????


----------



## BabsM (May 24, 2008)

Pesky Wesky said:


> OK.
> Now, how about some help for sadanne????????


:focus:

Kimonas gave the best advice and with Kimonas's experience in the field, I would follow that.

Years ago, when Childline started in England (the children's telephone help and advice line to help children that were being abused or felt frightened, alone or at risk). There was a big move to start up bullying support. A lot of publicity was given to the problem and it seemed to me that that opened the whole subject up and started a move to actually change the mindset about the acceptability of bullying. My children were out of school by then so I didn't take too much notice, does anyone remember what they did, what they advised?


----------



## Veronica (Apr 5, 2008)

I really don't think that we can help very much except to say follow the advice Kimonas has given. He is involved with the education service here in Cyprus and knows more than the rest of us how things work.

I hope you get things sorted out sadanne.

Regards
Veronica


----------

