# Question to parents



## Free_Spirit (Aug 30, 2009)

What tasks is your babysitter/maid doing daily and for how much? Do you manage to keep them for a long period of time? 

I changed 4 nannies for the last 6 months. Maybe I'm a picky mother and expecting too much? I know that I am paying more than average and I am very polite, still they sometimes don't show up or come late to work (my nanny is working 5 days a week 7.30am to 7.30pm). Any ideas? Should I be more tough?

Thanks


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## Rebecca s-g (Mar 29, 2010)

hi i have a nanny it taken a bit of getting used to,i pay her 1600 pm for 5 days 10am-7pm plus if i need her to work evenings if i work or go out ,shes only been late a few times as traffic can be mad here at times,but apart from that shes great..and yes you have to tell them what you want or they will take the mick, i was very polite but also told her my rules or no job and the deal is if she doesnt turn up she wont get paid.i hope this helps.also she cleans,plays with the kids,and she comes with me when i go shopping or want to go park or beach ect..


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## Free_Spirit (Aug 30, 2009)

Rebecca s-g said:


> hi i have a nanny it taken a bit of getting used to,i pay her 1600 pm for 5 days 10am-7pm plus if i need her to work evenings if i work or go out ,shes only been late a few times as traffic can be mad here at times,but apart from that shes great..and yes you have to tell them what you want or they will take the mick, i was very polite but also told her my rules or no job and the deal is if she doesnt turn up she wont get paid.i hope this helps.also she cleans,plays with the kids,and she comes with me when i go shopping or want to go park or beach ect..


You're lucky then, i pay 2500 aed cuz i want to secure that my kid will be well-taken care of and i get 60% of what I am asking for
thanks anyway, it's inspiring, where did you find her?


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Just because you pay big bucks does not guarantee good service you know...

The best way to find good ones is by word of mouth, people leaving etc. failing that the old "Advert in Spinneys" saying that you want to speak to the mothers is always an option...


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## Free_Spirit (Aug 30, 2009)

Andy Capp said:


> Just because you pay big bucks does not guarantee good service you know...
> 
> The best way to find good ones is by word of mouth, people leaving etc. failing that the old "Advert in Spinneys" saying that you want to speak to the mothers is always an option...


thanks for advice 
i got so upset yesterday that called my mom's friend from moscow to come next month at my expense, at least i can trust her


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## Shinjuku (Jul 12, 2008)

Ella_and_Yousef said:


> What tasks is your babysitter/maid doing daily and for how much? Do you manage to keep them for a long period of time?
> 
> I changed 4 nannies for the last 6 months. Maybe I'm a picky mother and expecting too much? I know that I am paying more than average and I am very polite, still they sometimes don't show up or come late to work (my nanny is working 5 days a week 7.30am to 7.30pm). Any ideas? Should I be more tough?
> 
> Thanks


You're having the nanny work a 12hr day starting at 7.30am, and you wonder why they're sometimes late/no show...
Have you taken into account the daily commute for the nanny?

Don't know what the going rate is for a nanny, but do people really consider 10dhs/hr as above average?


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## Rebecca s-g (Mar 29, 2010)

as for my kids being safe i feel they are 100% taken care of by her as i'am one of these mums who wont just let anyone look after my kids as they are my world,i will be honest it has taken me 2mths to let her take them out on her own,but now i go work,shopping,gym ect and have no worrys about leaving them,i also find being nice to her and making sure my lot are nice not always good but not horrid helps.i will make her lunch and cups of coffee as i feel she is more than a maid/nanny shes a great help,plus as for wages she set hers and i agreed,its not always about the money its how you treat them,they are not slaves..


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

I am so curious where these maids live if you do not provide them a room. I cant imagine where they live for 1500 a month, or even 2500. I thought it was normal to provide them living as well with that low pay.


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## Free_Spirit (Aug 30, 2009)

Jynxgirl said:


> I am so curious where these maids live if you do not provide them a room. I cant imagine where they live for 1500 a month, or even 2500. I thought it was normal to provide them living as well with that low pay.


don't be so naive, my last too nannies are living in the house of their current sponsor, who is also paying them salaries for help on weekends, so they make two salaries, which is around 3500-4000 aed per month... if you know average salaries of hotel staff in dubai, that would be front office assistant manager salary, who work 12-15 hours a day 6 days a week, so nanny is not the least paid job in dubai


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## Free_Spirit (Aug 30, 2009)

Rebecca s-g said:


> as for my kids being safe i feel they are 100% taken care of by her as i'am one of these mums who wont just let anyone look after my kids as they are my world,i will be honest it has taken me 2mths to let her take them out on her own,but now i go work,shopping,gym ect and have no worrys about leaving them,i also find being nice to her and making sure my lot are nice not always good but not horrid helps.i will make her lunch and cups of coffee as i feel she is more than a maid/nanny shes a great help,plus as for wages she set hers and i agreed,its not always about the money its how you treat them,they are not slaves..


i never treated anyone like slaves, i offer my fridge to the nannies same like to my kid, i buy them their own cups and flip flops, even bag to go for a walk with by baby, but i don't get the job done in return... my husband says i'm too nice to them


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Ella_and_Yousef said:


> don't be so naive, my last too nannies are living in the house of their current sponsor, who is also paying them salaries for help on weekends, so they make two salaries, which is around 3500-4000 aed per month... if you know average salaries of hotel staff in dubai, that would be front office assistant manager salary, who work 12-15 hours a day 6 days a week, so nanny is not the least paid job in dubai


Guess I am naive. So they work 60 hours for you, then 60 hours for someone else and make 3500 a month? 

I cant help but think this is just a bit wrong.


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

This is not meant to argue Ella. I really just dont understand it and can not wrap my head around it. It seems wrong to me and its prob part of what I cant get past about the UAE.


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## titirangi (Aug 14, 2008)

Yep, even after 18mo I'm in the same boat. How can anyone justify these folk earning what they do for the risks they take and hours they work.

I keep telling myself it is all relative and "back home" they would be worse off. Still doesn't compute though.

I treat our maidservice with courtesy and respect that I would to our company CEO, pay 30dhs per hour, add a 20% tip and still feel bad!


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## Free_Spirit (Aug 30, 2009)

titirangi said:


> Yep, even after 18mo I'm in the same boat. How can anyone justify these folk earning what they do for the risks they take and hours they work.
> 
> I keep telling myself it is all relative and "back home" they would be worse off. Still doesn't compute though.
> 
> I treat our maidservice with courtesy and respect that I would to our company CEO, pay 30dhs per hour, add a 20% tip and still feel bad!


you feel bad or good, you need someone to look after your kid... do you think it will be right to pay them 10000 AED if everybody else pay 5 times less? i don't think so, there is a market and there is a price on the market... but i share your feelings, those ladies just can't get anything back home so they don't have much choice as to work days and nights and see their families back home only once in 2-3 years...


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## Shinjuku (Jul 12, 2008)

Ella, this is not directed at you personally but here's some food for thought.

People from anywhere and everywhere will do what they can for the chance of a better life, whether they are low income labourers or high wage earners.
Its just relative whether a better life means being able to afford fancy cars/champagne brunches, or being able to support the family and send the kids to school.
I know of project managers/hedge fund managers/investment bankers, who similarly work 80-100+ hours/wk for a similar motivation - to earn as much as they can while they can. But these people are renumerated extremely well!
And yet they also burn out after doing this for a couple of years, because the work-life balance is unsustainable.

So how much job motivation can a nanny have if they're working extremely long hours everyday including weekends (which basically means no rest days at all and no chance of a social life) for 'market' rate which still isn't sufficient to allow them a decent standard of living in dubai? They don't have a choice with the long hours because you don't give them a choice. Workoholics aside, no one chooses to work 12-15hr days.
You say you're polite to the nannies, but that should be the minimum form of conduct as the boss. Buying cups/flip-flops are just fringe benefits, like your own employer giving you a diary, mobile phone, coffee/tea at work, etc. but its not a replacement for decent employment terms.
For someone as important as a nanny (who looks after you kids), i'm sure you want someone you can trust like a family member. But will you expect a family member to live/work like your nanny does?

You may have been unlucky so far in some of your nannies being just plain lazy/poor, but maybe its not all them.

Ok, coffee break over...time to get back to work.


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## Free_Spirit (Aug 30, 2009)

Shinjuku said:


> Ella, this is not directed at you personally but here's some food for thought.
> 
> People from anywhere and everywhere will do what they can for the chance of a better life, whether they are low income labourers or high wage earners.
> Its just relative whether a better life means being able to afford fancy cars/champagne brunches, or being able to support the family and send the kids to school.
> ...


I can only partly agree with you. Trust has to be deserved. How can I trust a nanny, whom I give full authority, all required tools, offer my fridge if she's hungry, buy her a telephone card, et, who puts my daughter to sleep in a single bed of a guest bedroom, from where she can easily fall down, cleaning her ears with oil (she thought it's correct), not washing her after noonoo even though I asked and I don't even mention cleaning the house, it's 1000 worse than I can do myself even though she's paid for it. Please answer HOW? I know many people get good ones, so I was just unlucky, but believe me I met many nannies before making a choice. Many of them didn't even look at my daughter but started to talk about the salary first. Do you find it right? There are lots of people same nationality as nannies usually are, having a good education, good job and making good money. So it's not about their nationality, it's about them. 
I had to work 15-16 hours a day to make myself and I didn't expect for anything from my first employers and believe me when I was 19, my salary was far from what I am making now, but I still did my job well. It's just that people want to get something without doing anything. That's what I believe in.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

I just had a look at this thread and thought I'd add my 2 cents worth. I hired a nanny from back home (India) about 2 years before my son was born. At that time, I needed someone to look after the house, etc as my job entailed a lot of travel. Anyway, I do consider myself one of the lucky few who has ended up with an extremely trustworthy person who treats my son as her own. That being said, she does have her moments of moodiness and I just turn a blind eye. I think the initial adjustment period is always difficult but once you get past it and have a good system in place, things should work out just fine. Why don't you look into the option of sponsoring a nanny? It's a one year visa that needs to be renewed every year. She will need to live in with you though, and that's another issue some people have because of privacy, etc.


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## SBP (Jan 4, 2010)

pamela0810 said:


> I just had a look at this thread and thought I'd add my 2 cents worth. I hired a nanny from back home (India) about 2 years before my son was born. At that time, I needed someone to look after the house, etc as my job entailed a lot of travel. Anyway, I do consider myself one of the lucky few who has ended up with an extremely trustworthy person who treats my son as her own. That being said, she does have her moments of moodiness and I just turn a blind eye. I think the initial adjustment period is always difficult but once you get past it and have a good system in place, things should work out just fine. Why don't you look into the option of sponsoring a nanny? It's a one year visa that needs to be renewed every year. She will need to live in with you though, and that's another issue some people have because of privacy, etc.


Moodiness in a woman????? How odd


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

SBP said:


> Moodiness in a woman????? How odd


I know! I was shocked too!!!


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## SBP (Jan 4, 2010)

Hopefully it was just a phase she is now over.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

SBP said:


> Hopefully it was just a phase she is now over.


Oh yeah...got her fixed...solved the problem instantly!!


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## Shinjuku (Jul 12, 2008)

My post was only in response to your original post, where you indicated you had problems with nannies showing up late or not coming to work.
And based on what you'd described, my opinion is that it maybe partly because they're working long hours with little reward, so there's minimal motivation to do more than they need to.

So i was suggesting you think about how you can provide incentives with real value for your nanny. 
To me, material things like cups/flip-flops don't mean anything, coz these are basic tools for them to do the job.
Would you otherwise expect them to bring their own cup to drink from or flip-flops to wear when taking your kids out? 
With offering the fridge, is there anything in there that the nanny actually likes to eat? And again what's the alternative...for them to bring their own food which they have to prepare at home after working a 12 hour day for you?

Instead, how about offering them a lift home after work? It may be a small inconvenience for you, but it also means they get home earlier and have more time to rest before work again the next morning.
Or how about a skype session to call home once a week?

If you're talking about work performance or ability follow instructions, these are entirely different things altogether.
I would only suggest that you don't project your own expectations of when you first started working onto people you have now working for you. Your own work motivations will be completely different from theirs, and its not fair to expect your employees to work like you do.

Hope you find someone good soon!


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

I am curious if you guys tend to actually help these people get out from under this terrible plight. Do you guys assist them with education and getting an actual skill to go on and be successful? I cant imagine having a person in my home for a few years and not helping them get some sort of job skill so they could further themselves.


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## Shinjuku (Jul 12, 2008)

Jynxgirl said:


> I am curious if you guys tend to actually help these people get out from under this terrible plight. Do you guys assist them with education and getting an actual skill to go on and be successful? I cant imagine having a person in my home for a few years and not helping them get some sort of job skill so they could further themselves.


You don't consider nannying as an actual job skill?

So with some decent effort to learn on the job, a nanny with a CV with 'looked after 2 kids full time with single employer for 4 years" and a good reference can do wonders for one's employability.

Fact is i expect good nannies can command a pretty decent salary.
I'll let the dubai mums comment on what they'd be willing to pay IF it meant getting someone who they could trust from day 1 with minor guidance needed.


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Shinjuku said:


> You don't consider nannying as an actual job skill?


No, not these type of 'nannies' that I am reading about here. Any old person who can just show up and take the kids out for ice cream, the beach, or making sure they are fed in a routine wouldnt exactly qualify for a job skill. But then maybe I am used to a different world, with different expectations. As was said, there is a rate that is 'accepted' here and that is what is paid. It is a terrilbe rate in my opinion.  But who am I to say. I dont have children here. I know I pay a dog walker currently to go to my parents home and walk my dog more then what was said they pay for 12 hours of work. They walk him once a day for 30 min. Adding - they walk him only 5 days a week. 

I would feel bad utilizing a young girl who has few working job skills to be a live in maid, and use her for a few years while I am here, and not help her. If I did such a thing, I would grow attached to the person and would want to help better them. Maybe this is just my American way of thinking.


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## Rebecca s-g (Mar 29, 2010)

Jynxgirl said:


> No, not these type of 'nannies' that I am reading about here. Any old person who can just show up and take the kids out for ice cream, the beach, or making sure they are fed in a routine wouldnt exactly qualify for a job skill. But then maybe I am used to a different world, with different expectations. As was said, there is a rate that is 'accepted' here and that is what is paid. It is a terrilbe rate in my opinion.  But who am I to say. I dont have children here. I know I pay a dog walker currently to go to my parents home and walk my dog more then what was said they pay for 12 hours of work. They walk him once a day for 30 min. Adding - they walk him only 5 days a week.
> 
> I would feel bad utilizing a young girl who has few working job skills to be a live in maid, and use her for a few years while I am here, and not help her. If I did such a thing, I would grow attached to the person and would want to help better them. Maybe this is just my American way of thinking.


first thing you dont and would'nt have just any person look after your kids. As you dont have any you would'nt understand that,plus as my nanny is an ex midwife and in her thirtys not some young girl whos being taken advantage of she chose this work,she set her wages and from what she has told me is earnning more and working less being my nanny and is alot better off and happy now then she has been.so not all nannies are taken advantage of as you are trying to point out ...i would feel bad as well if she was made to do this but she is'nt they can work for who they like,and your dog must be one pamperd pouch ,also my nanny only works 5 days a week,and most of that is spent playing with my children ,


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Jynxgirl said:


> I am curious if you guys tend to actually help these people get out from under this terrible plight. Do you guys assist them with education and getting an actual skill to go on and be successful? I cant imagine having a person in my home for a few years and not helping them get some sort of job skill so they could further themselves.


My nanny turns 50 tomorrow. We had a birthday party for her last night and she has invited her friends over for breakfast tomorrow. These women are here to earn a respectable living just like the rest of us and deserve to be treated rightly so. There are a lot of underage nannies in my neighbourhood who are so obviously mistreated and it takes a lot to not open up and say something to their employers. I know of one girl who keeps getting pinched everytime she makes a mistake. I even called the cops and complained about one of the employers because they were not feeding the nanny properly and she was bruised all over. Luckily for her, the consulate stepped in and helped her find another job because she was terrified to say a word. There is always 2 sides to every story, but we are the ones trusting them to take care of our kids, and unless we show them how appreciative we are of this by going beyond just paying them a good salary and actually showing a genuine interest in what they need, they will not put their heart into the job and will very easily jump to the next available offer. Simple as that.


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

I know I have that American save the world mentality, that others seem to dislike so much  

My Saint is babied..  I would give him the world! 20$ usa a day for someone to come over and walk him doesnt seem that bad to me.

Are there not accredited day cares here? That hire teachers with degrees?


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Jynxgirl said:


> I know I have that American save the world mentality, that others seem to dislike so much
> 
> My Saint is babied..  I would give him the world! 20$ usa a day for someone to come over and walk him doesnt seem that bad to me.
> 
> Are there not accredited day cares here? That hire teachers with degrees?


They really need to have a proper system in place out here. A lot of the embassies, etc are coming up with new rules/regulations to protect them but there are too many loopholes and sadly, some greedy people get away with it and the nannies end up paying the awful price!


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Oh I forgot to add, there are indeed a lot of good daycare centers, but they are very expensive. Its good for the people that can afford this. Personally, I've never been a big fan of the daycares out here, no matter how great they are. I'd just rather have my baby comfortable at home, with the woman I have grown to love and trust as a member of my family.


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## vanessakoehler (Dec 21, 2009)

why don't you try an international nanny agency 
you might have too pay a little bit more but you more likely to get qualified care since most nannies with international agencies have to have previous childcare training and/or held a job in childcare, teaching or nursing plus they're more likely to provide background information and police checks
I am a preschool/kindergarten Teacher and i would highly advise you too stick with somebody professional for your child's sake 
also i find the conditions under which those nannies, you're talking about, have to live appalling and downright cruel but thats just my personal opinion 
hope you will find somebody soon good luck 

vanessa


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## Shinjuku (Jul 12, 2008)

Jynxgirl said:


> No, not these type of 'nannies' that I am reading about here. Any old person who can just show up and take the kids out for ice cream, the beach, or making sure they are fed in a routine wouldnt exactly qualify for a job skill.


Why should it matter about what type of nannies you're reading about here?
Nannying is either a job skill or it isn't. I believe it is. And try telling any fully trained full time nanny that any old person can do their job, and i'll bet you start getting plenty of dirty nappies being thrown at you. 

The reason you see many frustrations about nannies is likely because most of these people have not been trained to work as a nanny in the first place or that they view it as a temp option before trying to find something better, like a desk/sales job, so their heart isn't ieally in it.



Jynxgirl said:


> But then maybe I am used to a different world, with different expectations. As was said, there is a rate that is 'accepted' here and that is what is paid. It is a terrilbe rate in my opinion.  But who am I to say. I dont have children here. I know I pay a dog walker currently to go to my parents home and walk my dog more then what was said they pay for 12 hours of work. They walk him once a day for 30 min. Adding - they walk him only 5 days a week.


Different world, different expectations?
Sorry to say, but that's bulls---. Whether its US, europe or dubai, there are many people being paid way below what you'd considered decent. You just don't see these news being splashed across USA Today or BBC because its not a worthy news story.



Jynxgirl said:


> I would feel bad utilizing a young girl who has few working job skills to be a live in maid, and use her for a few years while I am here, and not help her. If I did such a thing, I would grow attached to the person and would want to help better them. Maybe this is just my American way of thinking.


That's a fair comment and i'm glad you think this way.


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## Rebecca s-g (Mar 29, 2010)

Jynxgirl said:


> I know I have that American save the world mentality, that others seem to dislike so much
> 
> My Saint is babied..  I would give him the world! 20$ usa a day for someone to come over and walk him doesnt seem that bad to me.
> 
> Are there not accredited day cares here? That hire teachers with degrees?


 i home teach my 3 kids as i do have a degree and also worked as a teacher in the uk. i find it safer to keep my younger child with my nanny as allsorts can happen at daycenters and you never get the full story if something happens,plus like its been pointed out it is very expencive, at least this way untill hes old enough he is always safe and very happy. plus they have friends who they play with every day so they have the best of both worlds.plus its not that i dislike your mentality i just belive you have no understanding on this subject as you dont have children and dogs are not the same !!


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

It is a different world, and there are different expectations. Here, you can find someone and pay them cheaper then dirt to do about anything. I dont know about the uk or europe, but I dont see people being paid a fifth of the wage of someone else because of their passport. One could argue that mexicans are paid next to nothing in the usa but the companies I have worked for that hired mexicans who did jobs that others didnt want to, still were 'legal' (even though they had a ssn card anyone can tell they were fibbed half the time but legally if they were presented with their name on it then they had to be accepted!  ) and paid them the 'minimum wage' even if any normal american would never do the jobs they are doing for the price they are being paid. And thus is the problem. But that is an American argument between ourselves. There is no minimum wage here, so if its agreed upon, then its legal. 

Someone who is a nanny in the sense of a career nanny, has some sort of education and degree and your going to pay a premiium price is quite different then some person that would accept 1500/2000 durham rate to be a full time nanny/maid.


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