# Is it a must to have a reception after the Church wedding?



## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

Can any one in Philippines (Specially Catholics) please tell me, after a catholic wedding in a church *is it a must* to have a reception inviting guest in a hall or is there any other options to skip that part and just have a small family celebration? Is it common in Philippines to skip the reception and move on with the new family life just with the wedding in the catholic church & a small family celebration?

Feel free for any ideas to do after the Church wedding you'll have for me. Thank you.


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

CONGRATULATIONS!!! on your upcoming wedding.

It is not actually REQUIRED to have a reception but just a traditional part of the marriage act. Some will reserve a venue such as one of the well known eating establishments(most do have a banquet room for such purposes) or rent a hall & have it catered and some will have a reception at their or a friends house which will be more than likely catered to for the food part of it. I have been a part of several weddings since we moved here and there doesn't seem (at least to me) any rhyme or reason as to what happens after the Church or Civil Ceremony. Just what each couple decides to do and how much funding is available for that purpose. We have not attended a Wedding where there was no reception of some sort, but I am only counting my experiences here so that possibly may happen too. Hopefully someone else will chime in with more info for you.

Fred


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## ROUNDHEAD1952 (Aug 18, 2014)

anthonyluwis said:


> Can any one in Philippines (Specially Catholics) please tell me, after a catholic wedding in a church *is it a must* to have a reception inviting guest in a hall or is there any other options to skip that part and just have a small family celebration? Is it common in Philippines to skip the reception and move on with the new family life just with the wedding in the catholic church & a small family celebration?
> 
> Feel free for any ideas to do after the Church wedding you'll have for me. Thank you.


Not so much Catholic, but cultural. You are probably better off just going along on this one. It would make you look like a cheapy to many.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

*Deep Pockets*

Just a word to the wise. You will be expected to pay for the whole thing. Wedding including clothing, a "fee" for the priest, perhaps a fee for the church as well. Flowers if any.
The reception will be on you as well. People here assume to have deep pockets just because you are a foreigner and will do everything they possible can to get you to spend as much as possible.
It's your party but unless you want to get a quick loan from Donald Trump, you'll really have to watch it and control their spending.


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

fmartin_gila said:


> CONGRATULATIONS!!! on your upcoming wedding.
> 
> It is not actually REQUIRED to have a reception but just a traditional part of the marriage act. Some will reserve a venue such as one of the well known eating establishments(most do have a banquet room for such purposes) or rent a hall & have it catered and some will have a reception at their or a friends house which will be more than likely catered to for the food part of it. I have been a part of several weddings since we moved here and there doesn't seem (at least to me) any rhyme or reason as to what happens after the Church or Civil Ceremony. Just what each couple decides to do and how much funding is available for that purpose. We have not attended a Wedding where there was no reception of some sort, but I am only counting my experiences here so that possibly may happen too. Hopefully someone else will chime in with more info for you.
> 
> Fred


Thank you Fred  

Thank you again for sharing your personal experience about weddings in Philippines. It's just, my part of the world we have more options like give away like food packs and wedding cake from the Church for the coming visitors after the mass is over. But i believe in Philippines it's not an option. 

I was looking for an alternative for the reception, Because we use lot in our budget for travelling between countries. 

More info is also good to get a clear idea and what to do. 

Thanks Fred.


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

ROUNDHEAD1952 said:


> Not so much Catholic, but cultural. You are probably better off just going along on this one. It would make you look like a cheapy to many.


Yeah that's what i also notice, It's cultural. Cheapy to many?    Well just trying to get some ideas and move along. Life doesn't end after the wedding. So it's not easy to satisfy any Cheapy brains.  

Thank you for the info.


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

Jet Lag said:


> Just a word to the wise. You will be expected to pay for the whole thing. Wedding including clothing, a "fee" for the priest, perhaps a fee for the church as well. Flowers if any.
> The reception will be on you as well. People here assume to have deep pockets just because you are a foreigner and will do everything they possible can to get you to spend as much as possible.
> It's your party but unless you want to get a quick loan from Donald Trump, you'll really have to watch it and control their spending.


Thank you Jet Lag.

Yeah the Groom need to cover pretty much the whole expenses.

Totally agree with that been a foreigner in Philippine people think we are very rich, But fortunately for me, My new family knows about me well and very good, But the relatives have the impression you just said as a foreigner with deep pockets. They all just nice people, But need to understand not all foreigners are the same. 

I bet Donald Trump loan interest rate would be very high.  Indeed that's why i'm checking with others to get an idea, so i can balance the amount i'm going to spend on the important things. 

Thank you again Jet Lag


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## Gary D (Oct 28, 2013)

We had a church wedding and had the reception in our garden. The family did the cooking, we grew a couple of pigs before hand, a sister had some chickens and ducks. We hired the tables and chairs from a catering company who also served the food. Yes I paid but everyone also chipped in.


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## esv1226 (Mar 13, 2014)

It is the tradition. If you get married in a small rural town, you invite the whole town including the mayor and all those who you may never know. You kill a cow and/or pigs depending on the social standing of your wife's family in the community.
If you get married in the city and have the reception in a hotel/restaurant, you can control the number you invite, but your future in-laws will be careful not to omit any relative for fear of hurting them. It could be just as expensive.
I don't know how important this is to your bride. You can break away from tradition. Or get married in a city away from relatives. Why not involve her in planning?


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

esv1226 said:


> It is the tradition. If you get married in a small rural town, you invite the whole town including the mayor and all those who you may never know. You kill a cow and/or pigs depending on the social standing of your wife's family in the community.
> If you get married in the city and have the reception in a hotel/restaurant, you can control the number you invite, but your future in-laws will be careful not to omit any relative for fear of hurting them. It could be just as expensive.
> I don't know how important this is to your bride. You can break away from tradition. Or get married in a city away from relatives. Why not involve her in planning?


Listen to her. She is a Filipina. She knows.

Fred


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

Gary D said:


> We had a church wedding and had the reception in our garden. The family did the cooking, we grew a couple of pigs before hand, a sister had some chickens and ducks. We hired the tables and chairs from a catering company who also served the food. Yes I paid but everyone also chipped in.


Thank you Gary for sharing your personal experience. That's definitely one of the options in philippines.


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

esv1226 said:


> It is the tradition. If you get married in a small rural town, you invite the whole town including the mayor and all those who you may never know. You kill a cow and/or pigs depending on the social standing of your wife's family in the community.
> If you get married in the city and have the reception in a hotel/restaurant, you can control the number you invite, but your future in-laws will be careful not to omit any relative for fear of hurting them. It could be just as expensive.
> I don't know how important this is to your bride. You can break away from tradition. Or get married in a city away from relatives. Why not involve her in planning?


That's what i also learn from Philippines so far. I'm not planning without her, I'm just trying to learn all Philippines have the same system when it comes to celebrations. She's most definitely the one I'm planning with and take the end decision. 

Thank you so much for sharing and for the advice. I appreciate it a lot.


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

fmartin_gila said:


> Listen to her. She is a Filipina. She knows.
> 
> Fred


I sure will Fred. Thank you.


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## HondaGuy (Aug 6, 2012)

I had my wedding reception in Manila back in 2014 and here are the details:

http://www.expatforum.com/expats/philippines-expat-forum/799978-down-aisle-preps-5.html#post7818298

Spolier Alert: it was expensive ($5k) but included a lot and I was very happy with the outcome. Actually, with the exchange rate around $1=p49, it would be $4500ish today.


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

HondaGuy said:


> I had my wedding reception in Manila back in 2014 and here are the details:
> 
> http://www.expatforum.com/expats/philippines-expat-forum/799978-down-aisle-preps-5.html#post7818298
> 
> Spolier Alert: it was expensive ($5k) but included a lot and I was very happy with the outcome. Actually, with the exchange rate around $1=p49, it would be $4500ish today.


Thank you very much for sharing your experience and the details of the wedding. Indeed it's an expensive one. But no doubt must be a great one. 

Thank you again.


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

Just attended one yesterday(11/14/16). Wedding was at 4PM in the Mandurriao Church. So much Pomp & such. 6 Bridesmaids & 6 Groomsmen, and I think 12 Flower Girls along with the little boys "gentlemen " carrying the rings on a pillow and the coins on a pillow and even an extra "helper" for them. When all done with the pic taking & such everyone went to a very nice Reception at a friend's compound which has a beautiful Courtyard and this was catered as far as the banquet was concerned. Also had an M.C. & band and had quite a show. Very impressive and I would imagine very very expensive.

Fred


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## Tukaram (Dec 18, 2014)

There is of course no law saying you have to have a reception... but it is expected. Even in the US it is expected, so not really different here.


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

fmartin_gila said:


> Just attended one yesterday(11/14/16). Wedding was at 4PM in the Mandurriao Church. So much Pomp & such. 6 Bridesmaids & 6 Groomsmen, and I think 12 Flower Girls along with the little boys "gentlemen " carrying the rings on a pillow and the coins on a pillow and even an extra "helper" for them. When all done with the pic taking & such everyone went to a very nice Reception at a friend's compound which has a beautiful Courtyard and this was catered as far as the banquet was concerned. Also had an M.C. & band and had quite a show. Very impressive and I would imagine very very expensive.
> 
> Fred


Well Fred those numbers says it can be expensive as you said. But they prepared those very well and beautifully.


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## anthonyluwis (Nov 19, 2016)

Tukaram said:


> There is of course no law saying you have to have a reception... but it is expected. Even in the US it is expected, so not really different here.


Indeed !!!


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## galactic (Dec 2, 2014)

The expense of the reception is often commensurate to the number of invited guests and their +1's.
If you would spend a chunk might as well allocate some for video and photo services. 
Good luck to you and Best wishes to your bride


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

galactic said:


> The expense of the reception is often commensurate to the number of invited guests and their +1's.
> If you would spend a chunk might as well allocate some for video and photo services.
> Good luck to you and Best wishes to your bride


Oh yeah, can't forget to have photos taken (hundreds of pics) of every group of participants and all together all before, during, and after the wedding and at the reception & luncheon/banquet. Also most of the time, not always though, they will have "Rememberances" (gift/freebie)of some kind to give to each of the single guests or each guest couple so you won't forget the good time you had. These can be a simple thing or a bit extravagant, depending on how well off they are. Keep in mind too that any and all Principal Sponsors at a Catholic Church Wedding will be Charged P100 in order to sign the paper as a Sponsor and you may be asked or required to pay for them, in a Civil wedding there is no charge as a Sponsor. Don't know what other charges there would be at a Church Wedding here in the Phils as my Asawa & I got married in the states, I also don't know of what the costs are for the Judge & Courtroom in a Civil Ceremony. 

Fred


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