# How do you get along with the people of Mexico



## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

I would like to know how Expats in Mex socialize with the people of Mexico. Like what are the opportunities for meeting people ; what are the situations and places where you have started friendships, What are your expreiences with friendships ( those you want to tell about) and so forth. Faz


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

fazervision said:


> I would like to know how Expats in Mex socialize with the people of Mexico. Like what are the opportunities for meeting people ; what are the situations and places where you have started friendships, What are your expreiences with friendships ( those you want to tell about) and so forth. Faz


I met both of my two closest Mexican friends from intercambios, language exchanges to practice Spanish (me) and English (them). One of the intercambios was arranged by a language school. The other one resulted from my putting flyers up on poles around the neighborhood. Years later both are still close friends.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

TundraGreen said:


> I met both of my two closest Mexican friends from intercambios, language exchanges to practice Spanish (me) and English (them). One of the intercambios was arranged by a language school. The other one resulted from my putting flyers up on poles around the neighborhood. Years later both are still close friends.


Tundra thanks for the reply. Are intercambios common ? do many social groups have them? I see you started your own; is that the main way to get one started? Faz


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

fazervision said:


> Tundra thanks for the reply. Are intercambios common ? do many social groups have them? I see you started your own; is that the main way to get one started? Faz


I don't really know how common they are. A school in Quéretaro arranged them; maybe others do as well. There are a lot of Mexicans who would like to practice English so it is a good deal for both. The art is in finding someone that you mesh with. One of the people who responded to my ad didn't work out, but the other one is still a good friend and, four years later, we still get together regularly, half in English and half in Spanish.


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## circle110 (Jul 20, 2009)

All of the language schools I have ever been at have intercambios. I think it's pretty standard.

As far as how I met my Mexican friends, for me it has been through my work as a musician. I now have friends all over Mexico from traveling around the country and giving concerts. They have invited me to perform with their groups and I have meet still more people through that.

I met my wife-to-be while in Guanajuato on a concert tour as well. (I mean, don't all all male musicians get into it to meet girls?... Worked well for me this time!) She was just visiting Guanajuato at that time and now we both live here.

From the get go I have related well with Mexicans. By the time I came here for the first time 10 years ago, I already spoke passable Spanish which opened many doors and tends to make a good first impression, although it is not necessary as I have seen several expats who speak minimal Spanish be embraced by the Mexicans just because they sense their personality non-verbally. 

The Mexican's feisty, "hot" Latin personality resonates with me probably because I'm of a cooler temperament due to my Scottish/English roots and it is so opposite for me... sort of my missing other half.

I try as hard as I can to adapt to their culture and I think they sense my effort but they also don't fail to poke good-natured fun at my failings, like my propensity to say a straight-forward "No" when a Mexican would beat around the bush. I think they like it when I do it because they know I don't mean offense and it is so unusual for them that it cracks them up.

Many people here treat me with a lot of cool reserve at first because I am obviously a ****** but if I start to converse with them and treat them as a fellow human being, they change quickly.

All in all, Mexicans are AOK in my book and if you keep that attitude, they will respond to you in kind.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

TundraGreen said:


> I don't really know how common they are. A school in Quéretaro arranged them; maybe others do as well. There are a lot of Mexicans who would like to practice English so it is a good deal for both. The art is in finding someone that you mesh with. One of the people who responded to my ad didn't work out, but the other one is still a good friend and, four years later, we still get together regularly, half in English and half in Spanish.


Thanks Tundra, I am thinking cofee shops, libraries and book stores might work out like they do here. Are there such places in Mex? I mean like here. What do people do for entertainment? Where do the hand out [except bars] ?


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

circle110 said:


> All of the language schools I have ever been at have intercambios. I think it's pretty standard.
> 
> As far as how I met my Mexican friends, for me it has been through my work as a musician. I now have friends all over Mexico from traveling around the country and giving concerts. They have invited me to perform with their groups and I have meet still more people through that.
> 
> ...



C110 thanks for the thoughtful reply. I have only accuaintences with Mex people here in Alabama [business ] but the things you said about their temperment rang true with me. Because your interaction through entertainment is not as open to teachers i hope to hear from some of then too. I will however take my guitar.
I guess there student centers at some of the teaching venues; do teachers hang out there too? Anyone? faz


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## sparks (Jun 17, 2007)

I've mostly met neighbors ... and I guess depending on where you live, many will have much less than you have. For the most part that means you will never resolve the "us and them" gap to become good friends. Of course there are exceptions but not necessarily due to education or time spent in the US. Like everywhere, some people are more easy going and less envious than others.

Older people and kids are the easiest to feel comfortable with

What if you moved to a new city in the US (or where ever you are from) without job connections. The first people you meet are usually the least desirable and you work from there. It's the same everywhere. The big gaps will be language and culture. No way are you gonna be able to sit on the corner and be "one of the boys" bull****ting about daily life. Whatever anyone says you will be a "Stranger in a Strange land" for quite awhile


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## DebMer (Dec 31, 2011)

When I lived in Mexico, I was single and lived with Mexican families and worked in churches, so I had the opportunity to integrate immediately into daily life. Voila! - Built-in friendships that have lasted over twenty years. 

Next time I live in Mexico, I'll be with my own family, but I suspect that living, working and participating in daily community life will enable friendships to form as would happen anywhere else. 

Mexicans have a great sense of humor and are a lot of fun to hang out with.


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## FHBOY (Jun 15, 2010)

Came over here because Faz suggested it on the other thread that got hijacked by high-jinx, you know the Moving to MEX one. Thanks for this, I suppose we can have a bit more non-PC fun every now and again.

In all, I think Faz will do quite well if he can find a way to get to Mexico. He seems to have a gift of getting people to converse, so good on you - hope you make it.

I feel that one of those classes will be the way to learn to get along. Look, we are moving to a place that has been derided as "******-land", and as we discussed on the Forum last year, you can be happy to live there and be in the periphery, never learning the language or respecting (not a pejorative) and participating in the customs, or you can immerse yourself in them no matter where you settle. We prefer to go the immersion route even if it will take some time to learn all of the reasons and customs behind them. Actually, that is a great way - find someone at an event who smiles at you and ask them to tell you about what is going on, you may just make a friend.

There is also not doubt that children and old people are the best for this. We found that when we lived in Israel and traveled to Japan. It was the old people who were friendly and wanted to share their stories, and the kids to whom you are somewhat of a "mystical" character.

So, how do you make friends? By being honest, humble, respectful and kind. You make friends by trying to speak the language, even if you screw it up, when you're standing in a queue at the market, or even opening a door. People will respond, as we have to Faz, to sincerity and kindness. That is a first step.

So, how do you get along with people in Mexico? The same way you get along with people anywhere you go - except you may have to learn the language first, but that too is a way to get along. Remember in the immortal words of "The Muppets Take Manhattan" - "Peoples is peoples"


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

sparks said:


> I've mostly met neighbors ... and I guess depending on where you live, many will have much less than you have. For the most part that means you will never resolve the "us and them" gap to become good friends. Of course there are exceptions but not necessarily due to education or time spent in the US. Like everywhere, some people are more easy going and less envious than others. ...


As you say, it depends on where and how you live. I live in a Mexican neighborhood. Most of my neighbors have more possessions than I do. Mainly because I choose to live without a car, TV, stereo and a lot of the junk that used to clutter my life (a little editorializing there I guess). I don't get any sense that a difference in resources creates barriers. Language definitely is a barrier. I speak Spanish but not nearly as well as I would like. And then most people I meet have little free time and tend to spend it with family rather than neighbors or others.


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## johnmex (Nov 30, 2010)

Most mexicans generally spend more time with family, more than "norteamericanos" that is, I cannot speak for other countries.

Making friends in Mexico is easy, if you speak Spanish.


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

johnmex said:


> ... Making friends in Mexico is easy, if you speak Spanish.


My experience is that making ---acquaintances--- is easy. People are very friendly and willing to chat on the street or in a market or shop. Making ---friends--- is more challenging.


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Sometimes, expats arrive in Mexico with the expectation of being welcomed with open arms and becoming a part of the community. That is extremely rare. As has been stated, Mexicans are very polite, warm, friendly and non-judgemental. However, their own family, relatives, extended relationships with old family friends and business associates will always trump having a close relationship with a foreigner. That said, you will often be invited to large celebratory events but seldom to close family gatherings; no matter what your level of fluency. So, enjoy the weddings, quinceañeras, funerals and birthday parties, but getting much closer is unusual. Remember also, that the local plaza is 'everybody's front porch' and a lot of evening socializing happens there after 8PM.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

FHBOY said:


> Came over here because Faz suggested it on the other thread that got hijacked by high-jinx, you know the Moving to MEX one. Thanks for this, I suppose we can have a bit more non-PC fun every now and again.
> 
> In all, I think Faz will do quite well if he can find a way to get to Mexico. He seems to have a gift of getting people to converse, so good on you - hope you make it.
> 
> ...


Fh that's great info; it somes it up about real well and pretty much covers it all. Thanks Faz


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

sparks said:


> I've mostly met neighbors ... and I guess depending on where you live, many will have much less than you have. For the most part that means you will never resolve the "us and them" gap to become good friends. Of course there are exceptions but not necessarily due to education or time spent in the US. Like everywhere, some people are more easy going and less envious than others.
> 
> Older people and kids are the easiest to feel comfortable with
> 
> What if you moved to a new city in the US (or where ever you are from) without job connections. The first people you meet are usually the least desirable and you work from there. It's the same everywhere. The big gaps will be language and culture. No way are you gonna be able to sit on the corner and be "one of the boys" bull****ting about daily life. Whatever anyone says you will be a "Stranger in a Strange land" for quite awhile


Thanks Sparks. The haves and.... is something to be reminded of. I have run into that a few times. I have been a have and a have not in others eyes although I see everybody as people I have felt envy and disdain from both sides and I have never really done too well in those situations. There does not seem to be a way to change someone's mind set easily or often. If there is no equality there can not be true friendship. Its no fun to be looked down nor any fun being envied. I have a little joke I pull on people that invite me to join there church. I say that as an unchangable bachelor I would be pushed to marry by the women and envied for being single by the men. I works every time lol. Faz

.


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

fazervision said:


> ... If there is no equality there can not be true friendship.  ...


Maybe I don't understand what you mean by "true friendship". I have people I consider close friends, both in Mexico and in the US, who are very different from me. I am a 60++ male, long out of school, with grown children. My closest friend in Mexico is a 20 something male who lives with his parents and is working on finishing college. My second closest friend in Mexico is a 30+ female engineer living on her own.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

RVGRINGO said:


> Sometimes, expats arrive in Mexico with the expectation of being welcomed with open arms and becoming a part of the community. That is extremely rare. As has been stated, Mexicans are very polite, warm, friendly and non-judgemental. However, their own family, relatives, extended relationships with old family friends and business associates will always trump having a close relationship with a foreigner. That said, you will often be invited to large celebratory events but seldom to close family gatherings; no matter what your level of fluency. So, enjoy the weddings, quinceañeras, funerals and birthday parties, but getting much closer is unusual. Remember also, that the local plaza is 'everybody's front porch' and a lot of evening socializing happens there after 8PM.


RV that puts it succinctly and it makes a lot of sense. I have heard some really good comments with good points of view but this one kind'a shows where the depth of friendships is. I think the same thing is true everywhere that a population does not include a lot of mobility likeit does in the US . The US may be one of few countrys where one could live in an appartment complex where no one is native to the local area and has no family or old school chums nor old neighbors.
The US seems unique in the nuclear family concept instead of the extended family deal. faz

.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

TundraGreen said:


> Maybe I don't understand what you mean by "true friendship". I have people I consider close friends, both in Mexico and in the US, who are very different from me. I am a 60++ male, long out of school, with grown children. My closest friend in Mexico is a 20 something male who lives with his parents and is working on finishing college. My second closest friend in Mexico is a 30+ female engineer living on her own.


Tundra I meant that unless both people put aside their have/have not mind set there will always be that underlying inequality that would make trust tenuous in a a situation that involved taking sides. Faz


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## FHBOY (Jun 15, 2010)

TundraGreen said:


> Maybe I don't understand what you mean by "true friendship". I have people I consider close friends, both in Mexico and in the US, who are very different from me. I am a 60++ male, long out of school, with grown children. My closest friend in Mexico is a 20 something male who lives with his parents and is working on finishing college. My second closest friend in Mexico is a 30+ female engineer living on her own.


It is said that within your lifetime if you make only a few true friends, you are a lucky person. Most of the people we call true friends stay with you, maybe you grew up with them, still live in the same neighborhood and their friends are your friends, and that is great if you have it. But most of us don't live where we were born, and especially not the people on the Forum here, so we leave behind friends wherever/whenever we go. In my life I have had really close friends, the kind you share everything with, and yet, as our circumstances changed and we grew, those links were broken. There was no malice, it was just "over" and we went on to new friends. Most of the friends I can remember were in college, my best man, and a couple of the ushers at my wedding - long ago. Swore we'd be friends forever - "call me any time" - but that soon fades.

Remember a definition of a friend is someone you can call at 2:00 am because you need something, or just want to talk, and they will not say they are tired, sleeping or too busy. Friends make an investment in you and you in them, that is a big thing. Friends are the first ones you turn to, after your family, to help you, celebrate with you and depend on your support.

Now therein lies the difference, I have many acquaintances, business associates and colleagues and neighbors but none which I'd call friends - again not because of anything other than either I or they just do not wish to get that close. But yet, we go out to parties, have dinner, greet each other, but would I call them "friends", no.

It is great when a trust develops that can lead an acquaintance into a friend, but that takes time. At this stage in my life, what I am looking for when I move is to find people I like to be with, have fun with and hopefully share with. Do I expect them to become, by my definition, friends? I would hope some will and if one or two do, that would be great. That level of acceptance is not easy even in your native language. Adding the need to learn a new language on top of that makes it even more difficult. But it is a goal.

One last comment: chronology - with all my experience I can say that it is irrelevant. Some of my best friends/acquaintances were varied in age from me, some younger, some older. It is not a function of age, it is a function of interest.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

FHBOY said:


> It is said that within your lifetime if you make only a few true friends, you are a lucky person. Most of the people we call true friends stay with you, maybe you grew up with them, still live in the same neighborhood and their friends are your friends, and that is great if you have it. But most of us don't live where we were born, and especially not the people on the Forum here, so we leave behind friends wherever/whenever we go. In my life I have had really close friends, the kind you share everything with, and yet, as our circumstances changed and we grew, those links were broken. There was no malice, it was just "over" and we went on to new friends. Most of the friends I can remember were in college, my best man, and a couple of the ushers at my wedding - long ago. Swore we'd be friends forever - "call me any time" - but that soon fades.
> 
> Remember a definition of a friend is someone you can call at 2:00 am because you need something, or just want to talk, and they will not say they are tired, sleeping or too busy. Friends make an investment in you and you in them, that is a big thing. Friends are the first ones you turn to, after your family, to help you, celebrate with you and depend on your support.
> 
> ...


Fh that reminds me of a definition of a true friend I heard once as I remember it. A friend is someone that:
Will let you crash on his couch when your wife gets mad at you
Will help you move when it gets worse
Will bail you out of jail when it is over.


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## el confederado (Jan 1, 2011)

Personally I get along great with them. If one wishes to become fully integrated, the best way is to marry a Mexican. I did many years ago and I now have friends that I can call at 2:00AM, close family parties, etc. Learn to speak Spanish well, and becoming a citizen as I did doesn't hurt either. This is a great country to live in. There are good people and bad people here just like in the States. It is not without it's problems of course, but the US has problems too. I find life more fullfilling here and that is largely because of the Mexican people and their way of life.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

el confederado said:


> Personally I get along great with them. If one wishes to become fully integrated, the best way is to marry a Mexican. I did many years ago and I now have friends that I can call at 2:00AM, close family parties, etc. Learn to speak Spanish well, and becoming a citizen as I did doesn't hurt either. This is a great country to live in. There are good people and bad people here just like in the States. It is not without it's problems of course, but the US has problems too. I find life more fullfilling here and that is largely because of the Mexican people and their way of life.


El C I have heard that the prople of Mex are friendly and hospitable and your message backs that notion up. Being a comfirmed bachelorr I am not sure that I will follow your path. I sounds like you know just how to do it though; thanks for he thoughts. Faz


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Bachelors beware: It is very tempting for a sweet young thing to marry 'el billete', the wallet, while keeping her 'novio' elsewhere.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

RVGRINGO said:


> Bachelors beware: It is very tempting for a sweet young thing to marry 'el billete', the wallet, while keeping her 'novio' elsewhere.


Rv Vereeey interrrresting! Thanks for the advise. I have a few years experience dodging bullets but new places new people could put a new mask on the rules of the game. ps do they have shoptguns in Mexico? faz


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

Well I have become so enamored with everybody on this forum I feel like sharing a warm day with all.
As everyone knows it is a La nina winter; that means that below Tennesee the lower jet stream stays up here most of the season. Therefore today the temp is 72 degrees. Oaxaca is 75. The humi-didity in Alabams is 60% so it is a little cool; it is 34% Oaxaca so it must be nicer down there. We had about 3 freezes so far. That's enough to kill the mosquitos for a while. I had the doors wide open yesterday and a fly came in so they are doing alright.
Well I hope this news warms those of you that are having the obverse effects of La nina and feel a little better knowing that not all are having the cold that she brings to the top half of the country. Winters down here are usually pretty raw because although usual temps in winter are highs in the 50's and lows in high 30's the moisture makes it cut like a knife and makes this old farmhouse hard to heat and makes going out a longhandle underwear, tobogin and boots day. love to all Faz

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## FHBOY (Jun 15, 2010)

Yeah, it started snowing in Baltimore, thanks a heap!


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

Fh yer' welcome. there is a downside to the weather here and that is the summers; its pretty hot' From mid May to mid Sept there are few days that are below 90o and that is only when it is rainy. During the true Summer it is always 93 to 96o. Of course those people that are throughly ensconced in "high civilization" all they have to suffer is going and coming from their airconditioned cars. but those of us :third worlders" have to enjoy the heat, although sometimes it stays above 80o at night. I myself must sleep with the windows open and an attic fan pulling the air in. I also have to hear the creek running about 50 yrds from my window;and then there's the frogs and owl and crickets making such a racket and that derned ole donkey up the road that brays like a banshie at every little noise all night.
Ah ! sometimes I just don't know how I put up with it all. If I could find one person out here, where I live, that cares to talk about something interesting instead of the weather and football I wouldn't want to take off and adventure. Well that's not really true adventuring is high on the list of what I love to do. I don't know when I will be packing up for Mexico but I am looking forward to it. I am still studing my TSL book every night and daydreaming about how I will use the info. And it walk around the cities in Mexico at ground level "google earth" to see what it is like. I am a bit concerned about the summer nights in the mountains there because they seem to be a little cool and I will have to get used to it. 
Love and peace Faz

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## TamiJ (Apr 8, 2010)

My husband is Mexican, so that probably helps. I mix very well with the people here, especially with those at the ranch where he's from. I don't really have too much time to make deep friendships, but we have some neighbors who we spend some time with, and of course friends of his family.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

TamiJ said:


> My husband is Mexican, so that probably helps. I mix very well with the people here, especially with those at the ranch where he's from. I don't really have too much time to make deep friendships, but we have some neighbors who we spend some time with, and of course friends of his family.


Tam that sounds nice. I live in the country too. How far are you from town and do you go in often? How big is the town? Thanks faz


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## MN/Mex (Feb 4, 2012)

I've meet people and have formed relationships with alot of them through AA(alcoholicos anonimos),we,re all different but do have on thing common.I've found it dosn't matter how much spanish you have, there is almost always a high level of acceptance, and AA is almost everywhere in Mex.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

MN/Mex said:


> I've meet people and have formed relationships with alot of them through AA(alcoholicos anonimos),we,re all different but do have on thing common.I've found it dosn't matter how much spanish you have, there is almost always a high level of acceptance, and AA is almost everywhere in Mex.


!0 - 4 NM I have had friends that went that route and I have gone to a meeting with one as a visitor. They were all nice people and I enjoyed meeting them and learning about their dedication. I am not much into drinking anymore but I do enjoy it at small gatherings with people I know well. So I am sure you know I would be out of place at the meetings. Thanks anyway for the candor. it was nice of you to consider offering and I know the friend I had traveled all around and knew where meetings were at those places and people there. He talked a lot about it; I guess because we had been drinking buddies. And for everybody out there, that tetotals, losing a drinking buddy is as bad or worse that losing girl friend. faz


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## terrybahena (Oct 3, 2011)

MN/Mex said:


> I've meet people and have formed relationships with alot of them through AA(alcoholicos anonimos),we,re all different but do have on thing common.I've found it dosn't matter how much spanish you have, there is almost always a high level of acceptance, and AA is almost everywhere in Mex.


Hi MN/Mex, I am also in AA and you're right they have meetings everywhere, even in the small town to which I am moving. They are in spanish of course, so just more motivation for me to improve on my passable espanol! I have been to english speaking meetings in San Miguel Allende and later saw people on the street to say hi. We are lucky in that way that friends of Bill are everywhere!


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## FHBOY (Jun 15, 2010)

*Friends & Sub Groups*

_[Maybe I did choose the wrong profession before retiring - it seems that I wake up on Sunday mornings and, sorry folks, seem to come up with sermons. Thank you for indulging me]_

When you arrive in a strange place, it is good to have a sub-group, as I call them, to help you land. In different cases it could be a religious organization, a fraternal organizations, AA, Red Hat, or whatever. 

For many of our married years, my profession put me at the COO position within a non-profit, so that when we came to town, I had a social network (not virtual). I never realized that my wife, lacking in that "instant community" on a daily basis had to learn to integrate within the greater community. Obviously with school age kids, this was not as onerous as when one moves without such built in common interests with others.

The difference in making this move would to confine yourself only to that immediate social network and not expand from it. Let's use the religious organization example: I doubt any one will spend the next ten (twenty) years of their lives in a new place socializing with only members of the chosen church (synagogue, mosque), that would not be an adventure. But, that church serves as a core, a comfortable place to come back to and as the vehicle for further outreach and networking to expand the connections within the greater community because the members of the church will know a bit more people, know a bit more about things and living.

Maybe this is why, as ex-pats and potential ex-pats, we will buck the trend of the book "Bowling Alone" and are "forced" to make connections larger than only the ones that are absolutely in our "comfort zone". Come to think about it, the sub-group "ex-pats" within any foreign culture becomes a comfort zone. For me, to stay only amongst ex-pats, to not learn the language and culture of the country would effectively be like never leaving where I am now, so why would I do it? Why make such a drastic life style change only to stay in the same life?

The question is, are you fulfilling the potential of why you choose the ex-pat life if you only stay within any given sub-group and not explore and become a part of the entire culture? This does not mean you give up the sub-group and forsake it by any means. The greater "group" and "sub-group" are not mutually exclusive, but rather mutually inclusive.

When we finally arrive at Lakeside next year, we will fall into a religious sub-group as our "comfort zone" and that is a good thing. We also will have the advantage of the LCS, which in itself is a sub-group (Venn diagrams, anyone?). However, our way of life will be to use (and not as a pejorative) these sub-groups as a way to move into the main stream. I suppose you could say that our intention to find Spanish language immersion classes will create yet another sub-group. You see we all form them a lot, and need them for support.

In summary being a member of a sub-group when you enter a community is a very good thing, it helps you adjust to the location and culture as a whole, but limiting yourself only to that sub-group can, as an ex-pat, limit the adventure you have chosen.

Our closing hymn is number 176, fellowship hour follows immediately, have a blessed week.


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## conklinwh (Dec 19, 2009)

We live in a pretty small town, about 4000 people w/about 50 expats. We certainly have a lot of acquaintances and a few more than that. As has been stated, Mexico is much more family oriented than the US for both proximity and historical reasons. Since most expats arrive by them selves, it is certainly easier to gravitate that way, especially since Mexico basically never the 1st move so people arriving have done it before.
I think the trick is really affinity groups although living proximity has worked in some cases. One of the families that we bought our land from are friends but more the meet and have effusive hugs and discussions. We have gone to some larger functions such as birthday parties but really not intimate gatherings. Some of this could be language or basically needs fulfillment. We sort of gravitate naturally to people with more similar experiences and backgrounds. We also live about a 10min walk from the next nearest house and tend to be semi-hermits.


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

conklinwh said:


> We live in a pretty small town, about 4000 people w/about 50 expats. We certainly have a lot of acquaintances and a few more than that. As has been stated, Mexico is much more family oriented than the US for both proximity and historical reasons. Since most expats arrive by them selves, it is certainly easier to gravitate that way, especially since Mexico basically never the 1st move so people arriving have done it before.
> I think the trick is really affinity groups although living proximity has worked in some cases. One of the families that we bought our land from are friends but more the meet and have effusive hugs and discussions. We have gone to some larger functions such as birthday parties but really not intimate gatherings. Some of this could be language or basically needs fulfillment. We sort of gravitate naturally to people with more similar experiences and backgrounds. We also live about a 10min walk from the next nearest house and tend to be semi-hermits.


You don't have to be a 10 minute walk to the nearest house to be isolated. My nearest neighbor's front door is about 1 foot from mine and the next nearest is 10 meters away across a narrow street. I know them well enough to greet them on the street but we have never had a long conversation.


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Yesterday, I hung out with some Canadian & Iraqi folks from Hong Kong & other nether regions, sharing our experiences from here, the Orient, the Middle East and elsewhere. Today, with 'Estadounidenses, Canadians, and one Irish citizen of 'varied background', we solved all the world's problems at lunch.


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## conklinwh (Dec 19, 2009)

We live in area of 12 lots, we are 1st to build, completely surrounded by wired/gated area for "free range" vacas & caballos so if I walk out to talk, those are my primary options other than occasional worker of a friend exploring the mines.


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## diablita (May 7, 2010)

I've been living in a working class community about 10km outside of Acapulco for about 14 years. The only people I know are locals, many of whom I've known for years. They visit me, I visit them. They invite me to birthday celebrations, holiday parties, graduations, etc. We get along fine. They are, for the most part, poor people and I sometimes lend them money for whatever reason and have never been stiffed. I just treat them as I would like to be treated and it has been working out fine for me. Didn't come here to socialize with other gringos.


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## PieGrande (Nov 16, 2008)

*An ideal life*

I am the only expat in a 750 square mile area. My wife of 36 years is Mexican, and we live in her native village, which is definitely a Third World village. A few people nearby still live in houses made of sticks with palm roofs. Yet, as is true of the Third World today, there are people with modern facilities, including us.

Her family has accepted me as family. Period.

I do help financially in emergencies. Also, any other way I can.

I would say I have adapted rather well to the culture, but not perfectly. I do bull**** with the locals about things that are happening. I am especially good at macho humor with the men, yet get along well with women because of how we are used to treating women in the US, with respect and no sex harassment. In fact my best friends are a doctor and his wife, and probably the wife is a better friend than he is. I do not ever want to live anywhere else, and when I die I want my bones to rest forever with the bones of my wife's family.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

PieGrande said:


> I am the only expat in a 750 square mile area. My wife of 36 years is Mexican, and we live in her native village, which is definitely a Third World village. A few people nearby still live in houses made of sticks with palm roofs. Yet, as is true of the Third World today, there are people with modern facilities, including us.
> 
> Her family has accepted me as family. Period.
> 
> ...


It's great that you've found acceptance and a wonderful home in your wife's ancestral village. Wouldn't it be wise to assume that her family has accepted you precisely because you are her husband? Marriage makes you a part of the family.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

"Her family has accepted me as family. Period."


ilsa that seemed to be the only implication, peroid. faz


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## kcowan (Jul 24, 2010)

I think marriage is a great facilitator for intermixing. Our best friends are 1) He Colorado and 2) She Mexico City so they have a natural interaction with both and they also have good friends who are Mexican from GDL, now retired. My DW is a refugee from a Mexican marriage and she is perfectly bilingual.

But, aside from Gonzolo/Pita from GDL and their friends, most of our interactions are with gringos and Mexicans at the gala events like weddings. We are only 4 years into it so it could develop further.


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

what is a DW? I am slow and/or behind on pc talk thanks faz


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

fazervision said:


> what is a DW? I am slow and/or behind on pc talk thanks faz


I was about to ask the same question .. .


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

Isla Verde said:


> I was about to ask the same question .. .


Sorry Ilsa I got my letters mixed up . So Kcowan what does DW mean? faz


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

fazervision said:


> Sorry Ilsa I got my letters mixed up . So Kcowan what does DW mean? faz


No problem, though for a second I wondered who this Ilsa person was  .


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

Isla Verde said:


> No problem, though for a second I wondered who this Ilsa person was  .


Isla sometimes I get a touch of dyslekticus stupidicum . faz


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## DebMer (Dec 31, 2011)

fazervision said:


> what is a DW? I am slow and/or behind on pc talk thanks faz


DW = Dear Wife
DH = Dear Husband
DS = Dear Son
DD = Dear Daughter


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

Dear Deb thanks for clearing that up. I was wavering between divorced wife and dim wit. lol
faz


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Such abbreviations can have interesting options; especially for those of us who are really old and still use complete words. I choose to avoid conversations with the 'texting generation', who have two or three letter designations for everything, but don't know of the confusion that they may cause.
DS = Desde sábado.


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## FHBOY (Jun 15, 2010)

RV - you're such a curmudgeon!  Let's see the texting generation shorten that to 3 letters!


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## fazervision (Jan 28, 2012)

FHBOY said:


> RV - you're such a curmudgeon!  Let's see the texting generation shorten that to 3 letters!


Fh I can do it in one letter it happens to me all the time. it is A lol hee haw


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