# British Living In Canada wants to move Back to the U.K



## Guest (May 30, 2012)

Hi Everyone,

Well I am sure this will be a little messed up, my minds all over the place with decisions right now. I moved to Canada in April 2007, with my two children from a previous relationship in the U.K, I moved here because I married a Canadian Man. 
Well after just over 5 years of been here and a real run of bad luck in many areas, some been of employment problems for not only me but my husband also, I have decided I need to move back to the U.K. Very hard decision. My kids will both be over 18 next year and out of school, thats what I am waiting for. Both my children want to go back to the U.k they would go tomorrow. My problem is, I love my husband and can see he is very reluctant at making such a huge step and I doubt he will eventually do it. He is older than me and feels he would not find work easy, scared of where we will live ect, leaving his family here. I see his point but feel I did it for him and feel in someway he does not love me enough to take the risk, I feel like I am going through a breakup already and I will still be here for a year or so.
Let me explain why I need to go back, firstly I love the U.K its a wonderful country and I feel very proud to be British. I have so many family back home, brother sister neices nephew, cousins aunts uncles ect friends. We have had many finacial worries here, not through no fault of our own either, with this said it meant I have missed out on my sisters wedding, recently my neices also. Two engagements, then just recieved the news there is going to be two new babies born this year. I am so close to my neices and childminded for them from the time my sister went back to work, till the day I moved here 13 years total, they are like my own children, to hear of them going to have children, broke my heart I want the children to know me. It was the breaking point for a decision I have been struggling with for 2 years. My husband has been aware for a long time I needed to go back home.
My problem is I think it will cause and end to my marriage, I did not realize that he had to have a visa and proof of maintanence, I was thinking if we sold our house cars ect, we could come back stay with Family, try get Jobs, then our own place eventually. Naive I know. we can live with my parents my sister offered too. On the visa do they take into account that you can live with Family until you have employment, or is that not looked upon kindly. How much money do we have to have in savings, do we have to have a Job before we go there, not sure how to prove to them about earnings. My children will both be over 18 and have a british passport are they classed as dependants still, will that mean we have to prove we have more money or do they not class them as dependants now they are 18. So confused. 
I am scared to tell my husband of the visa requirements as he already is having a hard time with his decision, I feel that my family is going to be broken up because I feel we wont be able to prove earnings ect. I was just hoping money from house sale cars ect to help us settle in the U.K using this money sparingly till we found work. Praying we would all find Jobs as I am sure we would.
Would my 18 year olds be able to go back to Britain before me to stay at my parents and look for work, they both have a U.K passport. Not that I want that to happen, just curious. I do not intend to claim any government help for the years we are trying to start our life there I don't ask the government for anything other than letting us try live there, I feel cheated that they might not give us the chance to try. I feel only the wealthy have a chance to move back home to U.K.
What about my family,I love my husband and dont want this to end our marriage because we can not pass the visa requirements, plus we cant sell the house ect till we leave so would not have the money to prove our savings till then, so thats a big problem there.
I feel there are so many of us move away expecting a wonderful life not realizing we had one in the U.K then having problems coming home if we are married to someone who is not British. I found it hard enough to get to Canada, now it seems my family will be broken if I come back, which I will, just don't know if it's gonna cost me my marriage. I am so upset can't stop crying. I feel I never thought it out properly coming to Canada, did not know how much it would hurt, my husband has a very small family here we never see no one. I am so lonely.
Canada is a wonderful place lots of lovely people & places here, just wish all my family were too. Niagara falls is my most favourite Place on earth. Sadly though home is where the heart is and I left mine in the U.K with my family.

Sorry for the long message I kinda know the answers just hoping someone might be able to put a more positive spin on a bad situation, thanks for your time in advance.


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## Gypsy123 (Jun 5, 2012)

Hi there,, dont worry about your long e-mail. It sounds as if you are going through a similar decision making process as myself. Mine is a little simpler though and I'm new to this site so just chatting really.
I'm living in Australia and have done for 12 years. My defacto relationship ended 4 years ago and since then I have totally changed my life in a quest to find where I belong. There is lots more to my story but I am now in a postion of wanting to return to the UK.
My grown up daughter is in Sydney and my grown up son in England. All my other family live in Yorkshire. I have good friends in both countries. I am so torn.
Love England love Oz but now I'm approaching 57 and with no fixed abode here in Oz (I'm a pet sitter and move around), I feel a need to settle and can't afford to do that here in Oz.
I can afford to buy a little place in England outright but unsure of just about anything else.
Sorry, I know this is not relevant to your problem but just wanted a chat. Thanks.


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## 2farapart (Aug 18, 2011)

Hi dsneyqueen

In reading your post, it sounds like your marriage is going to feel the strain whatever you do. Whether you are both in the UK or in Canada, one of you will be missing family so badly that this is a much bigger thing than your feelings for each other, and that's the underlying problem: proximity to your family is becoming greater than remaining with your husband - only, that's very hard to admit to oneself. If everything was fine, although you'd be missing your family badly, you would still want mostly to be where your husband is (same for him if you both moved to the UK). So yes, a horrible situation with big decisions ahead, and a massive test of the sustainability of your marriage. Sending you big hugs because you went to Canada on a dream and it hasn't been what you hoped.

If you still have a British passport, then you would in many ways be assuming the role of sponsor for bringing your husband to the UK on Spouse visa, which means there's lesser importance on your husband meeting the requirements, but more onus on you being able to demonstrate how he will be supported whilst on the Spouse visa (and under current rules that means demonstrating that there is a spare £111.45 per week for him after housing expenses and Council Tax have been deducted). Under current rules, you would also be able to seek the support of a third party sponsor (e.g. family) to house you and/or provide financial support (this might be subject to change in the near future). However, I can understand your husband's reticence; I'm not sure whether the UK is economically any better than Canada (I believe it's slightly worse in fact with the unemployment situation). 

The children already have UK passports and so would be fine to come to the UK as British citizens and find work if they wished. That would be no problem. If you still have your UK passport you too could return to the UK amd claim benefits to help with housing etc - however, as you've recognised, supporting your husband whilst on benefits will be hard to justify, so you would ideally need the help of a third-party sponsor until either you or he could find work.

I think the first step is a long conversation _with yourself_ about which outcome feels best of all, and that will be hard. Would staying in Canada with an agreement between hubbie and you to set money aside for UK visits be viable? This would be a compromise when weighed up against you saying "Okay - then I'm going back to the UK permanently". This is a difficulty many of us need to factor into an overseas-originated relationship, because it is vital that the partner who emigrated must be able to get back and visit family and friends if they wish to - only it's a huge cost to bear. Or will it _only_ be workable for you to move back to the UK? And is this bigger than staying married (bearing in mind his decision ultimately reflects this too)? You need to know FOR YOU what the ideal is, and then it'll be time to talk to your husband about it.


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## Munchkinmoore (Feb 4, 2013)

Hi there, Im in the exact same position as you I was young when I moved to Canada to be with my husband and move away from my family I now have 2 boys but I get very miserable as I miss my family back home do bad my husband has all his family here though and a good job and we have a big house not that a big house is a nwssesity but my husband always said to me he would try to get a Job in uk it's not unti recently after I have lived here for 10 years it hit my my husband has no intention of ever moving back to uk, I feel really upset about this and me and my husband can't be happy together like this, I'm totally lost and no what your going through if you need to chat ever just send me a MSG, I would like to find out your updated progress also


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## Guest (Mar 24, 2013)

Munchkinmoore said:


> Hi there, Im in the exact same position as you I was young when I moved to Canada to be with my husband and move away from my family I now have 2 boys but I get very miserable as I miss my family back home do bad my husband has all his family here though and a good job and we have a big house not that a big house is a nwssesity but my husband always said to me he would try to get a Job in uk it's not unti recently after I have lived here for 10 years it hit my my husband has no intention of ever moving back to uk, I feel really upset about this and me and my husband can't be happy together like this, I'm totally lost and no what your going through if you need to chat ever just send me a MSG, I would like to find out your updated progress also



I have only just seen this message.

I am moving back to the Uk in July this Year, very hard decision, but I think its the best one for me and my children. This means my Canadian husband and I will be breaking up, as he is staying here. It is an emotional turmoil. I believe its the right thing though so hard as I know its going to be, I am gonna just keep moving forward.
At least I am going to be home with my Family, British in England where I never truly left. 

Much love to you and you family, stay strong and do whats best for you.


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## Munchkinmoore (Feb 4, 2013)

Hi again, im sobpleased to hear your following your heart, i hope for your sakes your husband will follow his and also make that big step for your sakes, 
I have also convinced my husband to move to uk with me it was a little tricky and we probably stayed here longer than wanted as my husband has a aon from a previous marriage but seeing as he lives with his mom and is turning 18 he is now An independant adult to make desicions on his own, although my husband has agreed to sell the house take the dog and 2 kids, we are ourselves still in the back of our minds wonder if this is the right thing to do, take care of yourself and enjoy uk  my family are back in kent where are yours ?


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

The OP, dsneyqueen, has cancelled her membership so is unlikely to read your post.


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