# You know you've lived in Spain when...



## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

I think many of these have been bounced around before but most still give me a wry smile. 

It's taken from a Facebook group (with 30,000 members!) with the title of this thread. 

Personally two I always add are, You think it quite normal that the council spends more on fireworks than it does on road safety and the library combined 

You are not surprised the mayor has been arrested. After all, he lasted longer than the last one who herself had lasted twice as long as her predecessor. 
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This is a group for everyone who has spent more than a holiday in Spain & for whom some/all of the following are true.... 
I noticed France has one of these groups so Spain really should too! I lived in the south of Spain for a year and absolutely loved it, so here are some of my observations about life in Spain. I know some may be more true of the south than everywhere, but still, I hope you like them! And I realise that not everyone will agree, so please understand that these are the comments of a young foreigner who spent a year in Spain rather than a Spanish person! I'm not trying to offend anyone, that is the last thing I want to do. These are just some of the things I noticed about Spanish life which makes it different to life in the UK. And it is meant to be taken as 'tongue in cheek...'

1) You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is a good idea. 

2) You can't get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they're shutting just as you should be going out?

3) You aren't just surprised that the plumber/decorator has turned up on time, you're surprised he turned up at all.

4) You've been part of a botellon.

5) You think it's fine to comment on everyone's appearance. And to openly stare at strangers.

6) Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos seems so rude.

7) You're shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun - surely they should wait until at least late June?

8) On msn you sometimes type 'jajaja' instead of 'hahaha' 

9) You think that aceite de oliva is a vital part of every meal. And don't understand how anyone could think olive oil on toast is weird.

10) You're amazed when TV ad breaks last less than half an hour, especially right before the end of films. 

11) You forget to say please when asking for things - you implied it in your tone of voice, right?

12) You love the phenomenon of giving 'toques' - but hate explaining it in English

14) You don't see sunflower seeds as a healthy snack - they're just what all the cool kids eat.

15) You know what a pijo is and how to spot one.

16) Every sentence you speak contains at least one of these words: 'bueno,' 'coño,' 'vale,' 'venga,' 'pues nada'...

17) You know what a 'resaca' is.

18) You know how to eat boquerones.

19) A bull's head on the wall of a bar isn't a talking point for you, it's just a part of the decor.

20) You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9.

21) You know that after 2pm there's no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open.

22) If anyone insults your mother, they better watch out...

23) You know how to change a bombona. And if you don't, you were either lazy or lucky enough to live somewhere nice.

24) It's not rude to answer the intercom to your flat by asking 'Quien?' (or maybe that was just my flatmate...)

25) You don't accept beer that's anything less than ice-cold.

26) You know Bimbo isn't a ****ty woman, it's a make of 'pan de molde' (which, incidentally, isn't mouldy)

27) The sound of mopeds in the background is the soundtrack to your life.

28) You know that the mullet didn't just happen in the 80s. It is alive and well in Spain.

29) You know the difference between ******* and cajones, tener calor and estar caliente, bacalao and bakalao, pollo and polla, estar hecho polvo and echar un polvo...and maybe you learned the differences the hard way!

30) On some Sunday mornings you sometimes have breakfast before going to bed, not after you get up. 

31) You don't see anything wrong with having a couple of beers before lunch if you feel like it.

32) Floors in certain bars are an ideal dumping ground for your colillas, servilletas etc. Why use a bin?!

33) You see clapping as an art form, not just a way to express approval.

34) You know ensaladilla rusa has nothing to do with Russia.

35) When you burst out laughing every time you see a Mitsubishi Pajero (thanks Stuart Line for reminding me of that one!)

36) You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion...

37) You know that 'ahora' doesn't really mean now. Hasta ahora, ahora vuelvo...etc

38)When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.15...if you're lucky!

39) Central heating is most definitely a foreign concept. In winter, you just huddle around the heater under the table & pull the blanket up over your knees...and sleep with about 5 blankets on your bed! (OK I accepot this is probably just in the south!)

40) When you laugh, you don't laugh your head off - te partas de risa.

41) Aceite de oliva is 'muy sano', of course. So you help yourself to a bit more.

42)When women think that clear bra straps are in fact invisible.

43) When it's totally normal for every kitchen to have a deep-fat fryer but no kettle.

44) Te cagas en la leche....

45) To avoid that cheap Eristoff vodka you have to ask for 'un esmirnoff'

46) When you know what a guiri is / have been called one

47) When you add 'super' in front of any adjective for emphasis

48) Blonde girls actually start to think their name is 'rubia'

49) When you accept that paying with a 50 euro note is going to get you a dirty look if you're buying something that costs less than 40 euros

50) If something is great, it's 'de **** madre'

51) You can eat up to 5 times a day - first breakfast, 2nd breakfast around 11.30, almuerzo, merienda, cena

52) You know the jingle for Los Cuarenta Principales...

53) If you see someone wearing a T-shirt with something written on it in English, you can almost guarantee it won't make sense. (Pebble Night was a personal favourite)

54) When you go into a bank/bakery etc, it's standard practice to ask 'Quien es la ultima?'

55) Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment?

56) You know what 'marcha' and 'juerga' are. 

57) You are more likely to call your friends tio/a, nena, chaval, macho or even tronco than their real name.

58) Love it or hate it, you can't escape reggaeton.

59) You answer the phone by saying 'Yes', (well, or 'Tell me') and when identifying yourself you say 'I'm...' not 'It's...'. But when you try those tactics back home, everyone thinks you're mad or rude!

60) You carry on buying UHT milk when you get back home and your friends think this is disgusting but you can't understand their point of view.

61) Jamon, jamon y mas jamon....
(Can't say this was my favourite thing, being a a vegetarian and all, but I agree it's very much part of Spanish life!)

62) If you eat a lot of something, you're not going to 'turn into' it, you're going to 'get the face of it,' e.g 'te vas a poner cara de chocolate.' Somehow a lot more amusing!

63) Drinking coffee out of a glass is entirely normal.

64) 'Son las nueve, las ocho en Canarias' is how you are used to hearing radio DJs announce the time

65) You've been to your local town's feria/fiesta/semana santa


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

I would like to add - "If you did not know before, you know now that Envy is bad "


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

Seen this on FB, Steve.....I certainly laughed at it then as I am now! LOL


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

You know you've lived in Spain when........you wish you'd come here at 20, with a full tank of gas in the bike, and systematically worked your way through every young Espanola from Barcelona to Malaga!


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

XTreme said:


> You know you've lived in Spain when........you wish you'd come here at 20, with a full tank of gas in the bike, and systematically worked your way through every young Espanola from Barcelona to Malaga!


You need some help for your obsession! Lol


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

I'd settle for their mothers - Pasanada is at the grandfather stage!!!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

SteveHall said:


> I'd settle for their mothers - Pasanada is at the grandfather stage!!!


And old Strav can clear up the remaining grannies!


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

SteveHall said:


> I'd settle for their mothers - Pasanada is at the grandfather stage!!!


Rich coming from the man who is old enough to be my father! Lol


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

Oh no, stumped for words. Anyway, you know when you are in Spain when you walk to the kiosk at 10am in November without a jacket, sweater or pullover. Just a short sleeve shirt!


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

SteveHall said:


> Oh no, stumped for words. Anyway, you know when you are in Spain when you walk to the kiosk at 10am in November without a jacket, sweater or pullover. Just a short sleeve shirt!


You must have a very good circulation if you're not wrapped up in November! Way too cold for me to walk around without my winter fleeces on!!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

SteveHall said:


> you know when you are in Spain when you walk to the kiosk at 10am in November without a jacket, sweater or pullover. Just a short sleeve shirt!


Not in Alhaurin de la Torre you cant, you'd freeze!!!! Besides our kiosk only seems to open at night!

Jo


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

I was there the other day and could not get over the number of roast chestnut pitches you have. The smoke from one of them seemed to be rising directly into somebody's 2 floor apartment!


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## chris(madrid) (Mar 23, 2008)

SteveHall said:


> 1) You think adding lemonade, fanta or even coke to red wine is a good idea.


 Oh - I learned that one in Central Germany.

'ne ColaRot bitte!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

New photo Pasanada? Very nice! Can't show you mine or your glasses will steam up!


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

XTreme said:


> New photo Pasanada? Very nice! Can't show you mine or your glasses will steam up!


Don't flatter yourself.....


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

Can anyone attempt to answer why it is that Spaniards regularly stare at complete strangers ?


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

SunnySpain said:


> Can anyone attempt to answer why it is that Spaniards regularly stare at complete strangers ?


They must be related to Asians, they do the same in the Middle East......I counted my lucky stars to be so attractive that they couldn't tear their eyes away from my overwhelming beauty......well, thats my theory and I'm sticking to it!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

SunnySpain said:


> Can anyone attempt to answer why it is that Spaniards regularly stare at complete strangers ?


Just a spot of relaxation after a hard day of wife beating and animal cruelty. 

Something needs to be done about the animal cruelty.


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

XTreme said:


> Just a spot of relaxation after a hard day of wife beating and animal cruelty.
> 
> Something needs to be done about the animal cruelty.


I love a Walter Mitty......shame they never oblige my requests to meet up so I can batter them!! LMAO


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