# Help needed please



## kittykatt (May 11, 2014)

Hi, firstly I am sorry if this is the wrong place to post this but I don't know where to start. I am trying to track down my estranged husband who I believe to be living and working somewhere in the UAE. We have 2 young daughters whom he stopped paying court order maintenance for last October. He has since 'disappeared' off the planet, makes no contact with the children and is not paying a penny towards them. He and his partner have an illegitimate child together, along with hers from someone else. I firmly believe they are living in the UAE and have either provided false marriage documents or have actually got married (illegally of course as he is still married to me) in order to get visas etc and to be able to live out there together. He is an airline engineer, English, she is cabin crew, Spanish. Would any of you know where on earth I could start to make official enquiries? I refuse to sit back and let him live without a care in the world while I am struggling to support our children.
Many thanks in advance.


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## londonmandan (Jul 23, 2013)

This reminds me of another thread and a thread after that......


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## despaired (Dec 22, 2013)

I can not judge whether or not your story is true, or if there is a different side to the same.

However, I guess, you could simply try to contact the concerned authorities in the UAE (e.g. send them a letter) and provide them with the full details of your husband. 

If they do care, they maybe look him up in their system and inquire with him about the situation. Other than that probably a needle in a haystack.


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## ash_ak (Jan 22, 2011)

What about contacting the British embassy in UAE and finding out through them, if he's indeed here. Don't know if they keep a record of all British citizens living here.
Or else hire a private investigator in uae to find him.


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## kittykatt (May 11, 2014)

Thank you Despaired. I will contact the relevant authorities once I know who to contact, which is the reason for my post, I don't know who to contact. Ash ak, I doubt very much he will have registered but thank you, I will try. Private investigator way out of my league I'm afraid.


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

This may sound silly but have you tried to google him? If he is an airline engineer, there's only a number of companies he can be working for here. Somehow, I doubt they will tell you if he is working for them. I am guessing you want to find him to serve papers on him? Are you sure the papers will have any standing legally here? I have a feeling they won't unfortunately.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

Based on what I've picked up over the last 8 years of living in the UAE:

There's nothing you can do about it. 

The UAE does not have agreements with the UK regarding enforcing child custody and maintenance payments. From the perspective of the UAE authorities it's none of their business. The UAE is also reluctant to get involved in entering agreements with western countries because under Sharia laws custody and alimony are decided very differently than they would be in the West, as some western wives of Arabs have found out to their dismay.

Because there's no extradition treaties with the UAE any court judgment in the UK cannot be enforced on a British citizen living in the UAE - as long as he does not return to the UK or another country that has extradition treaties with the UK. 

The one opening you may have is that he might have falsified marriage documents for his new partner's visa. But unless you want to make his life living hell and you are in a position (financially) to put up a big fight with the UAE government ministries by coming to the UAE, seeking a lawyer and all that to obtain copies of his and her visa paperwork, it's probably not worth it.


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## RandomDude (Mar 7, 2014)

Must be hard time for you.
I can't imagine someone leaving his innocent daughters behind.

He can be easily tracked, it is either Emirates,Flydubai,Etihad or Air Arabia and I am sure someone here knows some aircraft engineers and even crew cabins.

But what would be the point?
Are you trying to get back to him and her?Or you want the support money?
Or try to heal the wounds?

I'm pretty sure you are hurt beyond forgiveness,shocked and felt betrayed. There is no excuse or explanation, for someone married, and then having daughters, to do something like that, except a broken and very weak characters. No respect for anyone doing so. Now, there is still a window for forgiveness, if both parties decided to launch a new chapter based on trust, and for the sake of the daughters.

You could easily track him by tomorrow, even talk to his bosses, but what's next?

Do you have contacts with his parents?Brother?Sister?Family?

Stay strong, you are not alone, what difference you can make is compensating these girls with your love and support.


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

mehran8 said:


> british embassy


They'll do next to nothing unfortunately.


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## MAW0504 (Oct 6, 2009)

If you manage to track him down to an airline, which I'm sure must be fairly easy if a bit labour intensive, write to their HR department explaining what your position is. An HR department for any large multi-national company would have to follow that up with their employee. They have to in order to check their employee isn't going to have problems that affect their work. The fact that he realises he's been found and that his employers know about it might just spur him into something. 

Of course it might not but I'm sure you'll try anything. Good luck.


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## Stevesolar (Dec 21, 2012)

MAW0504 said:


> If you manage to track him down to an airline, which I'm sure must be fairly easy if a bit labour intensive, write to their HR department explaining what your position is. An HR department for any large multi-national company would have to follow that up with their employee. They have to in order to check their employee isn't going to have problems that affect their work. The fact that he realises he's been found and that his employers know about it might just spur him into something.
> 
> Of course it might not but I'm sure you'll try anything. Good luck.


Hi,
I think the above is very poor and inaccurate advice
Marital issues in UK are not relevant to his work in UAE.
HR department would not be able to discuss anything about him or his employment to another person (whether related) without his express permission.
Cheers
Steve


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## RandomDude (Mar 7, 2014)

Involve a family member

Are you talking to his parents?Siblings?

Tracking him down is very easily,but you need to answer what comes next.

Try to mediate, not for the money, but for the innocent kids in the middle.

I disagree with Stevesolar, HR might be either a total disaster, some irresponsible a hole or would talk him down and try to bring him back to his senses. I do believe in personal relations inside a professional organization.

If I know a colleague is into gambling,wasting the family money, I would talk to him.

This guy is intillegent, but clearly got emotional issues, through help, you mimght reunite a family again

Why rushing into court talks, embassy and stuff?


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

He already has a child with another woman. He's run off to the Middle East with his new partner and baby. The family is never going to be reunited.

The best strategy is to try to find him via his family in the UK. Surely there are grandparents and siblings around? They may be able to put pressure on him to restitute the maintenance payments.

If she finds who he's working for and tries to track him down through their HR, he may end up being fired by his employer. No job, no income, he can't pay his maintenance payments. How does it help KittyKat?

The man does sound like a right arsehole. She has the advantage in that he can never return to the UK *ever* without incurring legal trouble, but as long as he's outside the UK, particularly in the Middle East, there's nothing she really can do. As hard and painful as it may sound, she needs to start planning a life that does not involve her husband and any money from him. 





RandomDude said:


> This guy is intillegent, but clearly got emotional issues, through help, you mimght reunite a family again
> 
> Why rushing into court talks, embassy and stuff?


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## MAW0504 (Oct 6, 2009)

Stevesolar said:


> Hi,
> I think the above is very poor and inaccurate advice
> Marital issues in UK are not relevant to his work in UAE.
> HR department would not be able to discuss anything about him or his employment to another person (whether related) without his express permission.
> ...


Er, thanks for being so blunt but if you actually read it properly I don't say the HR dept will discuss it with the relative. I say they will probably discuss it with the employee to check their welfare and that might spur him into doing something.


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## RandomDude (Mar 7, 2014)

TallyHo said:


> He already has a child with another woman. He's run off to the Middle East with his new partner and baby. The family is never going to be reunited.
> 
> The best strategy is to try to find him via his family in the UK. Surely there are grandparents and siblings around? They may be able to put pressure on him to restitute the maintenance payments.
> 
> ...


Ok, I failed to track the issue. You are 100% and wise assessment.

I would not be surprised if he had converted to Islam so he can have multiple wives, hence the move to the UAE?

I am sure some here, know aircraft engineers in both companies, even cabin crew at the Emirates.


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## Stevesolar (Dec 21, 2012)

MAW0504 said:


> Er, thanks for being so blunt but if you actually read it properly I don't say the HR dept will discuss it with the relative. I say they will probably discuss it with the employee to check their welfare and that might spur him into doing something.


Hi,
Sorry if it came over as blunt - was not meant that way.
I really just did not want the lady to get her hopes up of finding answers in the UAE - when strictly speaking HR would not be able to reveal any confidential information.
She is obviously in a very difficult position and I would love to have a very positive way of tracking him down for her.
It has probably already been mentioned - but I find people that I am after through Google, LinkedIn, Facebook etc.
However, if someone does not want to be found - they often keep a low profile on the social networking sites.
Cheers
Steve


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## kittykatt (May 11, 2014)

Thank you all for your replies and suggestions. This person certainly does not want to be found as he does not want me knowing where/what he is earning so the likes of Google, LinkedIn, family etc are dead ends. Airline HR and UAE immigration my next task!

As for a reconciliation - not a hope in hell!!!


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## RandomDude (Mar 7, 2014)

Are you in contact with his family?

If not, then many questions arises over why he has chosen to leave? Although leaving two girls is unforgivable.


Is it possible for you to come over the UAE? How come you are certain he is in the UAE?

Look, if you come to the UAE, managers will be more than happy to help a mother in distress. He will not loose his job, but he'll be schooled.

A word of widsom, have not you thought why he really did this? We can say because he's thinking with his ...., his dad been like that,men are pigs and so on, but there is some psychological motive behind this. He might be an adult, educated,smart, but with a broken subconscious.

I guess we are of no concern knowing why the split, you might have broken his trust,this is not the case. We have a father leaving his innocent daughters behind.

I mean screw financial support, emotional support is more important.

How can a man sleep at night while not know what's happening to his kids is unnatural, against nature, I mean these feelings comes hardwired, basic instinct. Cases of fathers leaving, would be someone with a shattered soul and personality and they needed lots of help themselves.

Your best option is getting a common mediator. In this time and age, no one can be untraceable. Don't worry, you can find him in 1 hr, but what comes next?

Cabin crew girls! The vast majority are sweet girls trying to support their families and live this harsh life of sacrifice to support someone else , I happen to know many. There are few who joined thinking they'll meet prince charming on the flight from Dubai to Rome while serving first class. Some knoww they are desirable, amazing body, and could get lots of gifts, money, expensive cars. The male working as cabin crew lead the worst life. They see other youngmen on airplane, going for bsuisnes, leisure trips, while they are surfing a>>holes.

I got really upset with someone who got mad at a cabin cew guy because he told him to switch off his phone or sit down or something, and the man was:you are here to serve me, come, make me tea,hurry.

Good luck, I hope your wound will heal, I know it is hard, but think of him as someone who needs help.

Interesting: Just google: private investigator dubai

I never knew we had them! I swear I keep bumping over into the same couple, smoking hot girl, guy looking like my 8th grade math teacher.


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## rsinner (Feb 3, 2009)

RandomDude said:


> Cabin crew girls! The vast majority are sweet girls trying to support their families and live this harsh life of sacrifice to support someone else , I happen to know many. There are few who joined thinking they'll meet prince charming on the flight from Dubai to Rome while serving first class. Some knoww they are desirable, amazing body, and could get lots of gifts, money, expensive cars. The male working as cabin crew lead the worst life. They see other youngmen on airplane, going for bsuisnes, leisure trips, while they are surfing a>>holes.
> 
> I got really upset with someone who got mad at a cabin cew guy because he told him to switch off his phone or sit down or something, and the man was:you are here to serve me, come, make me tea,hurry.


????
:dizzy:


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## Meher Here (May 14, 2014)

Sad 2 hear this

Please start from your Embassy. Give his SSN to the Embassy. They maybe able to track him & catch him.

Regards,


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Meher Here said:


> Sad 2 hear this
> 
> Please start from your Embassy. Give his SSN to the Embassy. They maybe able to track him & catch him.
> 
> Regards,


I appreciate you think you are being helpful, but our Embassy will not get involved in matters of this nature. Secondly, what's an SSN?


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