# Marriage Breakdown & Spousal Abuse on a TR Spouse Permit



## Badmove101 (Aug 5, 2013)

Hi there I'm in dire need of some advise

I'm here in SA on a spouse permit, but have seperated from my husband who is an SA citizen as he was abusive to myself and my children (who are not his). Although Home Affairs are still processing my papers, my husbans unemployment forced me to take up work before I could obtain a work endorsement on my spouse permit as I needed to support my children. 

After we split up we have remained in the same house. I do not have an SA bank account as I was told I would need to wait until my papers at Home Affairs had been finalised, so my salary is paid into his account. 

Recently my estranged husband followed me on a night out with friends (my first since moving here almost a year ago) and became abusive so was told to leave. 

His mother claims he was threatened due to the "stories" I have been telling my friends about him in relation to his unreasonable & often abusive behaviour. He has now moved in with his mother who has told me I must leave the country or she would ensure my deportation. 

My husband is now witholding my salary as he is in possession of the bank card and is ignoring my requests to give it to me inspite of tyhe need for me to support my children. 

My husband has also stolen mine & my daughters passports. His mother has contacted me stating that they will be returned tomorrow & that there is nothing I can do about him having possession of our passports as we are in a community property marriage. 

We have been married for 10 months with no pre-nuptual agreement as neither of us have any asssets of value. 

Understandably I have declined his mothers demand to leave the country as I refuse to be bullied by my husband or my in-laws, even though they are actively seeking to have me & my children deported, claiming they have already contacted Home Affairs to report me as an illegal immigrant. 

I'm pretty certain I cannot be deported due to divorce & since home affairs have taken over 30 days (it's been 10 months) to process my papers they have no leg to stand on as they are also in breach of the law

I am also pretty sure my husbands behaviour is grounds for divoce on the basis of phychological abuse

And given that he is witholding my salary that would also constitute abuse as I need money to feed my children, commute to work and find a new place to stay.

He quit his job at the beginning of last month and appears to have spent his time drinking rather than seeking new employment

It's a horrible mess but I refuse to be chased back to the UK by a jealous ex & his kniving mother


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## Djinn (Jul 31, 2013)

*Sorry*

Hi,

I really don't have much in way off advise but I would like to say that I am sorry that you have to deal with such a degrading situation. He gives South Africans and men in general a bad name.

The best advise would be to see an immigration lawyer and see what your legal footing in this situation would be. I pretty sure with your kids being here you have legal recourse. Also I would change my bank account to a friend that you trust completely. If you can maybe inform your employer about your situation because they might be able to help as well with a work permit, thus bank account

I am sorry, I hope you get through this


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## Jem62 (Jul 25, 2012)

Sorry to hear about this horrible situation you are caught up in. Not sure where you live, but you will almost certainly qualify for legal aid, at least it would be worth checking, there will be a legal aid office in your region. Your situation is complex and you need accurate legal advice on the issues you are facing. Try and be positive as best you can, 'these things too will pass'. All the best.


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## Niks00 (Jul 6, 2012)

Wow I'm feeling for you. Hope you get things worked out soon.


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## 2fargone (Jun 14, 2011)

You can have your own bank account. I had one on TR. So you might want to open one up. Or have your employers start to pay you into another account so you have cash to live on.

Did you get your passports back? Do you and your children have a safe place to stay?


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## LegalMan (Dec 26, 2012)

First of all, let me say that I usually don't like to give (legal or not) advice online for these situations, as they always have specifics I don't know about that then often mean my advice is incorrect. Nevertheless, here are some hard truths:

- If you are not in a relationship (spousal, life partner, etc) with a South African, you need a new permit or you have to leave. As it stands in your explanation, you would have to leave the country with your children if you have formally divorced. With your new permit with a work endorsement, you have a better standing.
- Legally you cannot work without actually receiving your new permit, even if Home Affairs has taken too long.
- If your husband is withholding your passport, both South African and British authorities in South Africa should respond to a request to claim it back. What avenues have you followed here?
- You can definitely open a bank account (even as a total foreigner), the banks simply make this difficult, unfortunately.

When a client approaches us in a similar situation (there are quite a few), we usually advise a two things on the personal side:

- Make sure to get your employer on your side. It's the best way to stay in the country (which it seems you wish to do).
- Try to move into a new place (even with friends). This makes things much easier to manage (especially in situations like the one you describe).

I trust these comments have helped somewhat and am sorry to hear your situation.


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