# Crazy to travel to Brazil to Meet This Woman?



## Macando

I met a 19 year old Brazilian woman on an online dating site. I don't live in Brazil, I live in the United States. We have been communicating for about 6 weeks (via Skype, Texts/Whatsapp, etc.).

She seemed real nice and shy at first. She still seems nice/shy but a few "red flags" have made me wonder if she is a gold digger or worse a scam artist.

What are the red flags: 
1) About a month into talking with her she asked if my city has a Victoria Secret store. I said yes and asked why. She said she had been looking at their online catalogue and saw some very nice things. I simply said, "That is nice." And let it go at that. She never brought it up again. But it sure seems she wanted me to offer to buy her something.

2) She told me recently about her going shopping with her Mom to buy some basic things for the school year at the university (backpack,etc.). Again, not a big deal but it made me think she MIGHT be hinting I help out. Not sure that was the case.

3) I met her online and her desired age range was something like 30 to 60 years old. Again, suggesting that she might be looking for an older guy with money who is not afraid to spend it. That said, she is no longer a member of that dating site and appears interested in me even though I have not given her any money. 

Ok, now here is the really crazy part. I am 45 years old. I will say I look young for my age (but doesn't everyone say that). Well, in my case, it really is true.

What am I looking for? I realize given the age gap marriage between us is a non-starter. But what is wrong with some long distance romance if we both like each other? We have talked about me coming to visit her. I am thinking about buying a plane ticket. I am concerned I could be taken for a ride. That is, I get there are she starts grilling me for money.


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## warlock233

Hi there,

I would say this is a bit crazy, but not actually because of the points you mentioned.

1) Victoria Secret is kinda popular here due to the American influence on our culture. It's not always easy to find their products here and they are very expensive compared to the average income. If it's brought from overseas, usually they are cheaper even after currency conversion and taxes (many women ask friends or relatives who travel abroad to bring something back). So, this seems just a normal conversation / question (she probably has no idea that there are stores like that everywhere).

2) It's normal for 19 ye people to live with their parents and have all their expenses covered by them. Seems just like chit-chat...

3) Well, she is 19... she probably doesn't even know what she wants. A guy with money who can take her out to dinner on fancy restaurants, take her away on a nice vacation, etc, surely looks like a cool thing compared to any friends who she might have who are the same age as her.

It really doesn't seem like a scam neither that she is actually a gold digger, even though you can't expect her to be able to pay or share any expenses (trips, dinner, etc), unless their parents are really wealthy.

Brazil is just not the safest place on Earth and there are tons of people here with questionable intentions. Even if it all looks real, she looks real, who knows if there is someone behind all of this? It's very hard to say based solely on what you described.

Honestly, if I were you, I would never come here to meet a 19 ye girl. I would probably not travel too far away from where I am to do it, even being Brazilian and speaking Portuguese.

If you are not looking for a real/serious/long term relationship with her, I'm sure there are cheaper and safer ways to find other women over there in the US. Don't be fooled about what you see on the TV regarding Brazlian women 

Sorry to go straight to the point, but yeah, it seems like a crazy idea.

Where is she from (state, city)?

Cheers


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## Macando

She is from Brasilia, lives in the city with her family.


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## Macando

We have chatted on video via Skype for 6 weeks. I met her Mom on Skype. I think she is real. Do you think a scammer or a criminal who wanted to rob you would go to these lengths? I mean we have chatted for hours.


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## warlock233

Macando said:


> We have chatted on video via Skype for 6 weeks. I met her Mom on Skype. I think she is real. Do you think a scammer or a criminal who wanted to rob you would go to these lengths? I mean we have chatted for hours.


I would say it's unlikely to be a scam, but I wouldn't say it's impossible.
People are very creative nowadays and one will do anything if paid (even pretend to be someone's mom on skype).

Do you have her as a friend on Facebook? Does it look like a fake account? Does she interact with other people?

A 2 hours flight would get me to Brasilia, but still, I would not got there to meet a 19 ye girl.
Brasilia is a decent place at least. Has she ever mentioned which neighborhood she lives in?


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## Macando

Not sure which neighborhood. I think near the center. I have only see her mom and sister which is who she lives with. When she is on Skype with me I believe she is just interacting with me, sometimes she says something to her mom who lives with her. 

The biggest warning sign was after the Victoria Secret question and after she knew I booked a flight to come see her: she asked if I could buy a computer before I came to town. She said she would pay me when I got there. I said no way. So she said she would gladly send me the money ahead of time. I still said no. I told her I would not buy anything no matter who is paying. She stopped requesting any consumer items after that. I know computers are cheaper in the USA than Brazil. But it kind of sounds a little strange, huh?


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## Macando

Also, I recently told her I was reluctant to come visit her due to the age difference. She cried. I don't think you can fake that. Well, some can. But I think she does have feelings for me unless she is just a very good scammer.


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## warlock233

Macando said:


> Not sure which neighborhood. I think near the center. I have only see her mom and sister which is who she lives with. When she is on Skype with me I believe she is just interacting with me, sometimes she says something to her mom who lives with her.
> 
> The biggest warning sign was after the Victoria Secret question and after she knew I booked a flight to come see her: she asked if I could buy a computer before I came to town. She said she would pay me when I got there. I said no way. So she said she would gladly send me the money ahead of time. I still said no. I told her I would not buy anything no matter who is paying. She stopped requesting any consumer items after that. I know computers are cheaper in the USA than Brazil. But it kind of sounds a little strange, huh?


That particular thing is normal, believe me.
People here will ask anyone they know to bring goods from the US.
I travel to the US from times to times and I kinda have to keep it low, otherwise my Facebook/Email will be flooded with requests to bring stuff back.

It's just that some things are unbelievably cheaper there...


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## warlock233

Macando said:


> Also, I recently told her I was reluctant to come visit her due to the age difference. She cried. I don't think you can fake that. Well, some can. But I think she does have feelings for me unless she is just a very good scammer.


Yeah, from what you say it seems to be just a 19 ye girl in love with a "wealthy ******".

But still, I would be very careful.


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## Macando

Warlock: Thank you for your input. Good to hear from a Brazilian's point of view.

By the way, I visited Brazil once before as a tourist (not Brasilia). I know how friendly the Brazilian people are! Very nice! Of course, the internet is filled with scams so one has to be careful.


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## Macando

warlock233 said:


> Yeah, from what you say it seems to be just a 19 ye girl in love with a "wealthy ******".
> 
> But still, I would be very careful.


Thanks Warlock. I appreciate it.


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## warlock233

Macando said:


> Thanks Warlock. I appreciate it.


No worries.
Come back to tell how it went later


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## Murray1930

I'm married to a Brazilian. We met online and met up in Fortaleza when I went to view lots of land. I can't ask for a nice person. Most things are more expensive in Brazil, laptops, cell phones and tablets etc. Therefore its common for Brazilians to fly to Miami for vacations and shopping.
I have stories of gringos been ripped off by Brazilian women.
So I would advise to be careful.
Tony


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## RiverKing

This thread is likely well out of date by now but posting this for general interest of others viewing it.

The good:
I'm English and met my Brazilian wife (18 years younger than me) online 11 years ago. We've now been happily married for 10 years.

The bad:
On any dating site at least half of those posting, male or female are either scammers or wannabe economic migrants.

The careful:
First off when communicating with anyone, mention your concerns about online dating sites and ask them to send you a scanned copy of their CPF and Brazilian identity. Explain that you have a contact here who can check this out.  Genuine people will not be offended and comply with this request. Any excuses, finish the contact and move on.

Always ask for a fixed line contact number in addition to a cell or Skype. Not everyone here has a fixed line but how they answer this request might give them away if they are not genuine.

Social media use is very popular in Brazil. Ask for a link to their Facebook or other source. You can learn a lot from this, as you can about anyone making excuses for not having one.

Never send money for anything full stop, but do offer to send flowers and maybe a gift via an online vendor. This way you get a postal address. There are many ways you can check this such as asking her/him to describe the area where they live and then compare this using Google Street View.

Anyone responding to email contacts in single sentences is never going to be worth the trouble.


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## Bellbell16

Couldn't agree more


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## nasrundin

Have you met the girl? From what you described I strongly believe she is not a gold-digger. We Brazilians are a bit non-sense when it comes to buying things and as the other guy wrote, we would ask anyone to bring anything we want from abroad. We don't realize the situation we put the other person into (wasting time...). If you had agreed, you would save some money exchanging USD to BRL and she might have thought it was a win-win situation.

For our culture, if you just deny to bring something without a real reason, it is seem as extremely impolite and by the way you described even slightly aggressive given she offered to send you money in advance. Yes, aggressive because we are very sensitive to 'No' and to "I don't trust you". If she still talks to you after that, it is not a scam. There is a possibility of not being a scam, but she just found you impolite, aggressive, selfish and not trusting, this can be an eye-opener for her. Nobody wants to have a relationship with someone that doesn't trust you (this goes both ways).

Notice that when an older man dates a younger girl, both sides are risking being made a fool. Who is the gold-digger? Who is the cradle snatcher? I see vulnerabilities from both sides. If you visit her, you'll be in a strange country, strange language, but she will be with a strange grown up man who can be very nasty to her. You might abuse her, give her sexual diseases, she might be looking for love and you just a summer lover. And the experience she might have with you, might change deeply the way she sees and deals with men in the future as she is only 19.

You seem to be a bit paranoid with gold-diggers and this might prevent you from being happy. I understand that you just want to be loved by who you really are. In you case, I would be more concerned by the fact she is so young and at that age the feelings for someone can be very intense, but also temporary. But, whatever turns you on


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