# How do you have a girlfriend in Dubai



## natesk8

I've been getting about a million signals to look into teaching english in Dubai the past few weeks and so I started researching... And reading testomonies. While now I have a healthily crafted perception of what it could be like there (hot weather, new experience, new friends, many hobbies and sports to do etc), there's still one thing I can't visualize and that's a functioning casual relationship with a member of the opposite sex. 

Before you roll your veteran eyes you need to understand that a few people at the moment are still a bit terrified at the idea of coming over due to the horror stories of expats that have shown all sorts of PDA while in UAE. This is unfortunate and can cast a dark shadow on the idea of the experience. 

What is the truth? Where do the testomines meet in the middle? "Well obviously if you go around having sex in a taxi they won't stand for it mate, GOD." Yes yes we know that. "Just as long as you kiss her in the privacy of your own home you should be fine." Well jeez that sounds swell. Except I really can't imagine it. I mean how do you have that nice kiss after the first date or while in a nightclub that spurns on the whole courting procedure that most young expats are now used to?

"Hey I think you're cute and although this sandy moonlight beach is the perfect spot for a kiss after our humble date I'm afraid I have to invite to my closet back home where there's definately no police inside." "I'm too tired to make that walk, see ya!"

How?


----------



## Toon

Just don't take the **** mate, kissing on a beach, holding hands etc. Don't worry.

Just don't get hammered and try to make out.

Seriously the only people who get caught are the ***********.

Everyone else just lives as normal.


----------



## nite

Just use common sense. No public affection, dress respectfully, no tanks, short shorts, tight dresses, etc. It will draw less attention then 2 frolicking expats buzzed stumbling out of a hotel wasted all over each-other. Be mindful and respectful to local customs and courtesies. If you want to hook up, take it to the house.


----------



## MaddyyR

would you really get arrested for walking down the street holding hands?


----------



## Ish

only if you are not two guys holding hands, it would seem...

Still shake my head everytime I see that...

Oh well, live & let live, it not my culture...


----------



## bonji_nc

Don't about in the public that's all u have to worry about.rest u keep simple 
Good luck


----------



## Gavtek

MaddyyR said:


> would you really get arrested for walking down the street holding hands?


Of course not, no-one will even bat an eyelid.


----------



## ash_ak

I just got back from the Dubai mall this afternoon, saw a couple share a passionate kiss in the frozen aisle at the organic food store.nothing happened, alarm bells didn't go off, nor did I hear some local screaming profanities. Holding hands is common. 
Trust me, you will see more skin 
here than where ever you are coming from, unless you live in the playboy mansion.


----------



## pamela0810

ash_ak said:


> I just got back from the Dubai mall this afternoon, saw a couple share a passionate kiss in the frozen aisle at the organic food store.nothing happened, alarm bells didn't go off, nor did I hear some local screaming profanities. Holding hands is common.
> Trust me, you will see more skin
> here than where ever you are coming from, unless you live in the playboy mansion.


So this couple managed to get away with it, they're one of the few lucky ones. Bottomline, kissing and other forms of PDA between opposite sexes are not allowed in this country. (Yes, there are people who do it and there are people that get caught doing it. No guarantees, but better be safe than sorry.

If you are making out in a nightclub, chances are that you won't get caught but again, there are no guarantees to what could happen.


----------



## Lita_Rulez

Utter BS...



ash_ak said:


> Trust me, you will see more skin here than where ever you are coming from, unless you live in the playboy mansion.


I'll start with this one, because it is the more obvious lie.
Granted, the most unbelievably outrageous outfit I've seen in my life in public (ie, not in a private party, and actually not even at any form of party) was here in Dubai.
But as a rule ? Now way do you see more skin here than at home, unless home is a more hardened Muslim country.

I go back to France twice a year, and even in winter I see more skirts there than here. Summer, well, no contest, really.
I also go to Germany and the US, though not on as regular a basis, same deal.
I was in Kiev last week, and even to a French guy, the amount of skin was mind boggling (and I mean this in the tastiest of ways. Skirts were short, but not outrageously so.)
I've been to Sri Lanka and Cuba since I got here, again same deal.

You just plain and simple don't see as much legs, shoulders or cleavage here than you would in the states (except maybe Utah), Canada, Europe or Down Under.

Granted, it is not Saudi Arabia, not by a long-shot, and you can still enjoy the sight of shapely women, and there are still "nice vistas" here and there.
But selling it as "anywhere else in the world" is just plain lying.

Just ask the girls here that feel uncomfortable because of the staring. Do you think this would be so pronounced if there was as much skin being flaunted around as you would want us to believe?




ash_ak said:


> I just got back from the Dubai mall this afternoon, saw a couple share a passionate kiss in the frozen aisle at the organic food store.nothing happened, alarm bells didn't go off, nor did I hear some local screaming profanities. Holding hands is common.



You can find people who went to Alaska with no shoes and still have their feet, that does not mean it is reasonable to do so.
You can find people who shot themselves in the head and survived. Does not make it safe...

The laws and regulations are clear : not PDA, and no holding hands in public unless you are married.
Are they strictly enforced ?
Of course not, you'd need cops every 50 meters.
Are you taking a risk by not respecting them ? Yes.
Do people get caught often ? Well, i t all depends on the circumstances.

Most of the time, as long as you are not being over the top about it, nobody will ask if you are married, they will just assume you are. So holding hands is not really a big issue. Start kissing and groping, though, and you always run the risk of offending someone enough that they will call the cops on you.

It also depends on where you are, and what time of the day it is. Some things will be unacceptable in front of a school at 2PM, but nobody will bat an eyelid in a dark corner of a club at 2 AM...

Basically, it is the same as everywhere else in the world : don't be stupid, don't do what you wouldn't want your kids to walk in on someone else doing, and you should be fine. On tom of that, do read the "Dubai Code of Conduct", and realize you ARE in a Muslim country, albeit a tolerant one, so don't go out of your way to offend people, and they won't go out of theirs to get you arrested for it.

Just use "advanced common sense", and when in doubt, refrain. The penalty from being wrong here is just most likely not going to be a mere lap on the wrist.


----------



## Canuck_Sens

Could not have put better than Nite, just use common sense and you will do just fine.

Uphold the law and if you feel that's too much, it is your risk to bear and live up with the consequences of your actions if caught.


----------



## pamela0810

Looks like you're doomed to living a life of celibacy in Dubai Natesk8 

Do people even hold hands and walk on the beach at night? 

I stay away from the beach completely because in my head, after sunset, it's filled with labourers pleasuring themselves after a day of staring at all the expats in bikinis and taking mental snapshots of their beautiful tanned bodies, for obvious use after sunset!


----------



## bonji_nc

pamela0810 said:


> Looks like you're doomed to living a life of celibacy in Dubai Natesk8
> 
> Do people even hold hands and walk on the beach at night?
> 
> I stay away from the beach completely because in my head, after sunset, it's filled with labourers pleasuring themselves after a day of staring at all the expats in bikinis and taking mental snapshots of their beautiful tanned bodies, for obvious use after sunset!



rolf 
but kind a true :tongue1:


----------



## blue_moon

How about living with your girlfriend in an expat condominium? Or having your female ex-schoolmates stay in your apartment few nights while visiting Dubai? Or having your European girlfriend stop by for a week every other month, while she is still finishing her university degree. 

Is that all okay and legal or not?


----------



## basc

blue_moon said:


> How about living with your girlfriend in an expat condominium? Or having your female ex-schoolmates stay in your apartment few nights while visiting Dubai? Or having your European girlfriend stop by for a week every other month, while she is still finishing her university degree.
> 
> Is that all okay and legal or not?


No, not legal.


----------



## blue_moon

basc said:


> No, not legal.


So that means you can't have a girlfriend in dubai.

forever alone.

p.s. can you get somehow sort-of married with your grilfriend without being married?


----------



## basc

blue_moon said:


> So that means you can't have a girlfriend in dubai.
> 
> forever alone.
> 
> p.s. can you get somehow sort-of married with your grilfriend without being married?


Of course you can have a girlfriend, just if you stay in each other's place then it's illegal. 

Prostitution is also illegal. And homosexuality.

Yet you can go to bars and easily find any or all of the above catered for.

This place is full of contradictions. Keep calm, don't over think it - just do what you'd do at home but be more discreet about it (i.e. don't have sex in the back of a taxi on the way home from the Irish Village).


----------



## blue_moon

basc said:


> Of course you can have a girlfriend, just if you stay in each other's place then it's illegal.
> 
> Prostitution is also illegal. And homosexuality.
> 
> Yet you can go to bars and easily find any or all of the above catered for.
> 
> This place is full of contradictions. Keep calm, don't over think it - just do what you'd do at home but be more discreet about it (i.e. don't have sex in the back of a taxi on the way home from the Irish Village).


I get this point, but if my girlfriend visits me in Dubai, you can't be very discreet about it because the guards of the buildings will know there is a girl in your place. Which is illegal. So I wonder how can girl or female friend visit me in Dubai? 

P.S. Can the building say they don't grant access to the building to a girl that is not your relative? Speaking of save locations like Burj Khalifa where they actually check who goes in. And there is also an issue with Visa as the visiting female would need to claim my address on her visa application as her address to stay in Dubai.

It just kind of freaks me out that all the bad guys take hookers to heir homes, and a good guy who wants to stay with his girlfriend gets a S.W.A.T. team knocking on his door and 1 year jail term.


----------



## Mr Rossi




----------



## Lita_Rulez

blue_moon said:


> I get this point, but[...].


:ranger:

Let me spell it out real simple one last time :

It *IS ILLEGAL*, and *NOBODY CARES* as long as you *don't flaunt it* in everybody's face.

Does that sound about right guys ?


----------



## ash_ak

pamela0810 said:


> in my head, after sunset, it's filled with labourers pleasuring themselves


is that what gets you off


----------



## pamela0810

ash_ak said:


> is that what gets you off


No Ash....it's your FB profile pic that does it for me


----------



## Engineer

Is that allowed on the beaches in dubai Pamela?


----------



## pamela0810

Engineer said:


> Is that allowed on the beaches in dubai Pamela?


Thinking about dusting off the ol' mankini, eh Engineer?  Sure it's allowed! Just make sure it doesn't clash with Ash's


----------



## cami

blue_moon said:


> I get this point, but if my girlfriend visits me in Dubai, you can't be very discreet about it because the guards of the buildings will know there is a girl in your place. Which is illegal. So I wonder how can girl or female friend visit me in Dubai?


she should tell the boys at the reception she's come to do your nails. or cook for you. or she's your pa. frankly, they won't give a **** unless she's dressed like a tart. and probably not even then. you can't be the only male in the building with "needs" now, can you?

[/QUOTE]P.S. Can the building say they don't grant access to the building to a girl that is not your relative? Speaking of save locations like Burj Khalifa where they actually check who goes in. And there is also an issue with Visa as the visiting female would need to claim my address on her visa application as her address to stay in Dubai.[/QUOTE]

unless you're talking about your credit/debit card, the visa will have nothing to do with you as you cannot sponsor a person who's not your relative. she's gonna have to get a tourist visa/visitor visa depending on the country where her passport was issued, and so she's gonna have to give a hotel's address as they won't let her in at the airport without a return ticket and a hotel booking.

[/QUOTE]It just kind of freaks me out that all the bad guys take hookers to heir homes, and a good guy who wants to stay with his girlfriend gets a S.W.A.T. team knocking on his door and 1 year jail term.[/QUOTE]

such is life, eh. those bad guys already have their residence visas in order, or are locals and won't care a bit. if you're really burning, try and find a way to by-pass all the hassle without getting into trouble.

now, if you're talking about a hypothetical gf and not a real one, currently frazzled that you'll be here and she's there, there's always jockey's (ref. to another threat) where i bet you can find women who will match you drink for drink, won't say no (well, it depends what currency you'll show...), and will be discreet. plus, the guys in your building won't have an issue allowing you in with a ho 'cause, after all, they are men too and will understand a fellow tortured soul (and body)...

just stop wailing please, reading this thread has made my eyes tear...


----------



## blue_moon

Okay, so unless someone is a relative he or she needs t show the hotel booking at the airport. Fair. 

So how about someone's best friend is visiting say a girl visits a girl or my male schoolmates wanna come over to Dubai for a week - even for your best friends and even if you have a guest room - you must tell them that they shall book a hotel? 

I understand the point that they could sneak out from their hotel and stay at your place anyway, because nobody will car, but they still need to spend 30 bucks a night for some cheap lousy hotel to pass the customs, if I understand you right.


----------



## Mr Rossi




----------



## ash_ak

pamela0810 said:


> No Ash....it's your FB profile pic that does it for me


I knew I should not have poked you, now you are stalking me on FB


----------



## Jynxgirl

When is FB going to just die a horrible miserable death???


----------



## Pink Fairie

Jynxgirl said:


> When is FB going to just die a horrible miserable death???


When is this thread going to?? To the OP: Not quite sure what barbaric impression you have of this beautiful country, but I can assure you, the 'guards' won't give a flying [email protected] who you bring home, male or female, so no one will have to 'sneak' out of a hotel to see you! As long as your guests have a return ticket the most the officials at the airport will say is "which hotel you stay" your guest replies with a hotel....simples....


----------



## Lita_Rulez

Jynxgirl said:


> When is FB going to just die a horrible miserable death???


12/12/2012

.
..
...


----------



## hubbly_bubbly

Royaah said:


> you are right, respect to other culture is the key.


Respect for the culture or more precisely, respect for the law?

I doubt that most foreigners in Dubai actually care for the intricacies and nuances at the heart of UAE Islamic culture or the people, let alone respect it. Therefore it's the confusing civil laws, as hand-me-down-culture, that vexes everyone instead.




Anyhow, is it not more the clash of "cultures" that defines us most? - summarised perfectly by the ridiculous but so very apt title (and nature) of this thread?

Just saying.


----------



## natesk8

Hmm. Yes. Interesting replies.


----------



## Jinx

I tend to think the guards in the buildings and hotels get a kick out of it, really. It's probably like their own personal soap opera watching people come and go. They honestly won't care. And if they ask, just throw something out there. They can't deny access if it's your apartment.


----------



## Enzoo

some building caretakers are just curious who goes in and out of the buildings. some of them ask too many questions.


----------



## gregkobe

When I first arrived I was chatting with a lawyer and she said that you'll break 5-10 laws a day without realising it. Everyone does, including locals. Just keep you nose, act respectfully and subtlety if you know you are in breach of any laws/customs and you'll be ok. 

On the PDA thing, I've been seeing more and more Emirati couples holding hands. In the modern areas, malls, etc this is perfectly fine as is a kiss so long as that doesn't become a massive snog/making-out/fondling then no one will mind. Again especially if you are respectful and/or subtle.


----------



## MaidenScotland

gregkobe said:


> When I first arrived I was chatting with a lawyer and she said that you'll break 5-10 laws a day without realising it. Everyone does, including locals. Just keep you nose, act respectfully and subtlety if you know you are in breach of any laws/customs and you'll be ok.
> 
> On the PDA thing, I've been seeing more and more Emirati couples holding hands. In the modern areas, malls, etc this is perfectly fine as is a kiss so long as that doesn't become a massive snog/making-out/fondling then no one will mind. Again especially if you are respectful and/or subtle.





I think I would fit in nicely in Dubai... personally I do not want to see anyone snogging/making out/fondling.... anywhere. Nor do I 
like to see people walking around half naked.... who wants to sit on a chair after a sweaty semi naked body has been on it?


----------



## Engineer

> this is perfectly fine as is a kiss so long as that doesn't become a massive snog/making-out/fondling then no one will mind. Again especially if you are respectful and/or subtle.


REALLY??? Even if they were acquitted would you really take the risk?

gulfnews : Businessman and sister-in-law in court over alleged public indecency


----------



## UAE UAEEE !!

Natesk8 you can have a girlfriend in the UAE whenever you respect the country and its population, whether you like it or not.
But in my humble opinion it also depends on who you are, or rather how you are. I mean how is your appearance, the way you dress, how you behave, how you interact with your partner, how are your displays of affection for her/him and so on.
You will get used to it!


----------

