# suspicious wife



## mrku5

had a argument with wife 6 week ago and she wont drop it has been talking to me like **** not answering phone and constantly accusing me of sleeping around while im in england are most thai women like this she just wont let go any advise ps im in england at moment working argument was on phone


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## oddball

mrku5 said:


> had a argument with wife 6 week ago and she wont drop it has been talking to me like **** not answering phone and constantly accusing me of sleeping around while im in england are most thai women like this she just wont let go any advise ps im in england at moment working argument was on phone



Sounds like you have a real problem there , sometimes those acusations can be a cover-up , especialy if it is consistant , not answering the phone can be a sign of being 'Otherwise occupied' , if you have not known her long enough to know better , she could have other sources of income . When Thai ladies play that sort of head game , there is nearly always a reason other than the one she states , any doubts in your mind ? Just discontinue the relationship(?) , use the head on your shoulders not the one between your legs as many men tend to do , that heads ambitions can easily be satisfied by the hundreds of other fish in the sea without the sometimes dire consequences . 

I like some posters who say women are the same the world over , they are oh so wrong , just thier education or the lack thereof , plus ethnic background , can and does create women of wide diversity . Be warned , be carefull , stay happy and retain your sanity .


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## JWilliamson

Oddball took the words out from my mouth. She seems to be putting the blame on you for what she has been thinking, feeling or doing. I say just listen and do not argue. be strong and guide your wife where you want to go to. Most women are clueless and confused and if you start listening or arguing then they will start thinking that you are even more confused then she is because you start arguing with her illogical emotions. Call her less often, talk to her and listen. tell her about your day and how you feel and start going out and met knew people. Find happiness and that will attract her back to you.


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## Guest

"Most women are clueless and confused"?!!

Give me strength.

While OB's theory is not impossible, it is just as likely that a girl who has witnessed the standard 'butterfly' behaviour of many men simply finds it hard to trust as a result.

We don't know enough about the situation to make categorical statements on the OP's personal circumstances. There are all manner of possible reasons for such behaviour.


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## JWilliamson

*Many possible reasons*



frogblogger said:


> "Most women are clueless and confused"?!!
> 
> Give me strength.
> 
> While OB's theory is not impossible, it is just as likely that a girl who has witnessed the standard 'butterfly' behaviour of many men simply finds it hard to trust as a result.
> 
> We don't know enough about the situation to make categorical statements on the OP's personal circumstances. There are all manner of possible reasons for such behaviour.


You are very correct and safe in saying that. JW


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## JWilliamson

*suspicious minds*

We're caught in a trap
I can't walk out
Because I love you too much baby

Why can't you see
What you're doing to me
When you don't believe a word I say?

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds

So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?

Here we go again
Asking where I've been
You can't see these tears are real
I'm crying

We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And be can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds

Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let's don't let a good thing die

When honey, you know
I've never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah


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## mrku5

nice one jw even when im with her in thailand she doesnt like me talking to anyone the butterfly thing sounds right by frogblogger a dutch girl was talking to me once and she thought i was after her she went into a right mood


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## jojo

I would say that from a womans point of view, you need to learn how to treat your loved one and make her feel so special and cared for that it wouldnt enter her head that you would cheat!!! 

Jo xxx


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## mrku5

jojo said:


> I would say that from a womans point of view, you need to learn how to treat your loved one and make her feel so special and cared for that it wouldnt enter her head that you would cheat!!!
> 
> Jo xxx


problem is jo jo im in england at moment have been since end of march i do love her jo jo but i know shes had it hard and been let down before im flying out next week so i wil know better thenlane:


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## jojo

mrku5 said:


> problem is jo jo im in england at moment have been since end of march i do love her jo jo but i know shes had it hard and been let down before im flying out next week so i wil know better thenlane:



Ah, you're a Pompey man!!!!! That explains it LOL I'm originally from Sunny worthing

Jo xxx


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## mrku5

im a middlesbrogh lad but work in naval shipyard lol xxx


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## jojo

mrku5 said:


> im a middlesbrogh lad but work in naval shipyard lol xxx



Oh dear a smoggy lol!!!

Jo xxx


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## JWilliamson

*Girl issues*

She can also be very nervous and insecure. It is easier for her to want to avoid growing into a loving relationship because she probably believes it will not work. JW


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## mrku5

yeah i think you hit the nail on the head especially after a argument its maybe a self presservation thing


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## JWilliamson

*self preservation*



mrku5 said:


> yeah i think you hit the nail on the head especially after a argument its maybe a self presservation thing


Maybe a good change of plan would be for you not to say anything but to back up and get back into the friendship arena. Just talk to her and listen. Talk about small things for awhile, be happy, no judgments and try to have fun. Stay there for awhile until she feels comfortable. During this time you should also go out and talk to more people (women), listen to them, ask questions and get to know whats out there. JW


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## oddball

I found quite a number of Thai ladies to be jealous , sometimes even to the extreme , I have a feeling that in certain circles , that is brought about from a feeling of insecurity , they do not want to take the risk the other lady your eyes have beholden will take away the meal ticket they have become accustomed to .

The title 'Butterfly' is a two way street , but when you mention this they tend to come up with similar answers , "I not butterfly , I working lady " , I would sometimes respond " I not butterfly , I working man , you think you easy to live with , it's hard work believe me " ,'" Okay , we go home now , you show me how hard you can work "


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## JWilliamson

*haha*



oddball said:


> I found quite a number of Thai ladies to be jealous , sometimes even to the extreme , I have a feeling that in certain circles , that is brought about from a feeling of insecurity , they do not want to take the risk the other lady your eyes have beholden will take away the meal ticket they have become accustomed to .
> 
> The title 'Butterfly' is a two way street , but when you mention this they tend to come up with similar answers , "I not butterfly , I working lady " , I would sometimes respond " I not butterfly , I working man , you think you easy to live with , it's hard work believe me " ,'" Okay , we go home now , you show me how hard you can work "


Haha, me luv you long time thats work if you really dont love him. JW


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## oddball

The easiest way to see if your Thai lady has any feelings for you in particular , stop the money supply , if she is gone in 24 hours you proved your point , this is not to form a generalisation of the whole country , god forbid , but in certain circles we dare not name .


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## JWilliamson

*stop the money supply*



oddball said:


> The easiest way to see if your Thai lady has any feelings for you in particular , stop the money supply , if she is gone in 24 hours you proved your point , this is not to form a generalisation of the whole country , god forbid , but in certain circles we dare not name .


Yeah thats a good test. I know many are targeting Thai women but i dotn see it as only thai but women in general. Women might stop the flow of sex to test men and men can stop the flow of money. I guess it depends on the type of women we are after or are with. if you are with a professional woman who makes her own money well then the test of money is not going to work, but if you are dealing with an uneducated and poor woman then it can. JW


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## gerg

Yes, yes, yes-my advice is _"do not trust the Thai lady". You must understand that they have a totally different culture to you and me. The farang is for many "ladies" their only chance at security but they will do anything and everything to deceive and cheat you to get their ends. I can tell you much more and there are many stories about how many foreigners have been robbed blind by the Thai prost--, sorry, ladies...because there are few morals in Thailand. So, what's surprising there. e.g why do so many foreigners go there in the first place.?? I think you have answered my question. Gerg


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## JWilliamson

*Do not trust the ladies?*



gerg said:


> Yes, yes, yes-my advice is _"do not trust the Thai lady". You must understand that they have a totally different culture to you and me. The farang is for many "ladies" their only chance at security but they will do anything and everything to deceive and cheat you to get their ends. I can tell you much more and there are many stories about how many foreigners have been robbed blind by the Thai prost--, sorry, ladies...because there are few morals in Thailand. So, what's surprising there. e.g why do so many foreigners go there in the first place.?? I think you have answered my question. Gerg


Through out history men did the providing and the women provided what men desired. This way lasted a long time until women became educated and gained the rights to live on their own, choose when to have a bay and became financially and emotionally independent. This didnt happened in every part of the world and in some areas they prefer the old traditional ways. Maybe certain countries are taking advantage of this and has promoted the old ways to continue and to profit from it.

In Thailand do they teach morals or is a lie ok if you can gain from it? JW


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## Guest

Hmm, I think you'll find that in terms of "providing" for the family (food), women have done at least their fair share ever since hunter gatherer days.

Our roles are not identical, the differences have been forged in genetic terms over eons, and even if in contemporary society we are attempting to establish equal status between the genders (fair enough) it will be a very long time indeed (if ever) before we achieve some kind of homogenised role for men and women. 

Whether Western or developing nation, there remain all kind of imbalances. Sometimes in the West the emphasis on individuality and rights can go too far (eg family and community coherence is considerably less strong than in more 'traditional' settings), while elsewhere, at the other extreme, exploitation and blatant sexism persist. Thailand is by no means as backward as some places, but imbalances remain, for sure.



> In Thailand do they teach morals or is a lie ok if you can gain from it?


Both are standard human behaviour. That's human nature and its inherent contradictions. Our species is only here today because we've achieved a pretty successful balance between outright selfishness and cooperative behaviour ('morality').


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## jtcadv

mrku5 said:


> had a argument with wife 6 week ago and she wont drop it has been talking to me like **** not answering phone and constantly accusing me of sleeping around while im in england are most thai women like this she just wont let go any advise ps im in england at moment working argument was on phone


Hey guy, that sounds like trouble. My experience is that people who have a guilty conscience often tend to blame others or (fake or real) accuse others of their sins they're committing. Be careful. Alternatively, I have a buddy that uses this Thai investigative service to follow his wife...or actually no I think they just checked her phone records. haha. Totally busted. this lawyer has contacts at the phone company and for some small fee, they just send him a copy of her phone records (in and out) and that was it. Luckily he wasn't married to her. SNIP Good luck bro.


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## simflier

*hi there*

hi;

need some advice?talk to her when she calm already and bring her to a date.just make her feel that you really love her.we as wife loves to be pampered sometimes with affectionate actions....just follow my advice your wife surely stop making suspicion to you.good day.

irene


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## JWilliamson

Seems people over think and at times thinking can be way over rated. JW


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## arnoldblack

standard diverison tactic while she's relaly up to no good herself ? good luck.


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## Dug

I think gp1234 has the right idea. There are many imbalances in Thailand, but in my experience, Thai people are generally not out to take advantage. The obvious exception is dealing with bar girls, etc. who exist solely to try to take advantage of every situation and maximize profit.

Again, in my opinion, farang's in Thailand have created a number of problems with the "butterfly" syndrome. Thai ladies at certain social/economic levels do see a farang as a financial anchor that will lead to economic security. However, ladies who are professionally employed, etc. tend, again in my opinion, to see farangs as more of an emotional anchor and a "better" (whatever that means) partner to have a lasting relationship, children, etc. We (farang's) damage this perspective each time one of us turns into a "butterfly" and wanders off to the next pretty flower.

Anyway, just my 2 cents. I hope that you and your wife are able to work out the issue - in my experience she has someone telling her that you are being a naughty boy while in Farangland and she's upset. I don't believe that just because she is jealous that she's necessarily don't anything naughty herself.

Best of luck!

Doug


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