# family



## dadman63 (Dec 11, 2017)

I am planning on moving to Dipolog City in September. My fiancee as asked me to bring presents for her relatives- that will come visiting. Has anyone heard of this ?


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

dadman63 said:


> I am planning on moving to Dipolog City in September. My fiancee as asked me to bring presents for her relatives- that will come visiting. Has anyone heard of this ?


Yes and you are in the very first stages of being dollar-ed to death. Read and learn much more about the Philippines before jumping into this fire.

You will have three choices:

1) Put a permanent stop to it now with your fiancee.
2) Run for your life and search for someone else.
3) Become a multi billionaire before you come to support the endless line of leaches that will not ever leave you alone.

Extra 4th choice. If you do move here, live a long distance away from family.

I know that sounds hard and rough but you asked. That's life here and it pays to learn all you can before 
getting into it too deep..


Very Best Of Luck


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

To the original poster - You have been given some very very good advise. Most all of us involved with the filipina in some manner have had to contend with this to some extent in our relationship and as has been mentioned, it is best to nip it in the bud or it will be ongoing as long as you are in that relationship.

Fred


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## Gary D (Oct 28, 2013)

dadman63 said:


> I am planning on moving to Dipolog City in September. My fiancee as asked me to bring presents for her relatives- that will come visiting. Has anyone heard of this ?


Yes it is normal, just bring small cheap items, they love anything from abroad. sweets and chocolate for the kids, bars of nice inexpansive soap. We are just talking token gifts here.


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## Hey_Joe (Sep 13, 2016)

dadman63 said:


> I am planning on moving to Dipolog City in September. My fiancee as asked me to bring presents for her relatives- that will come visiting. Has anyone heard of this ?


Years ago, you would be treated like a rock star if you brought chocolate, soap, an apple. Now those products are available everywhere, like at any 7-11 here. U.S. products like soap that actually lathers up is available at all S&R stores.

Ask her to be more specific on what presents to gauge what she means. As the others said, could be the beginning of what's to come now that she is about to marry an ATM machine.

If you feel you must bring items from the U.S. consider going to one of the many dollar stores and buy first aide type items that they really need like $1 antibiotic creams, $1 first aid kits, etc.


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## Tukaram (Dec 18, 2014)

I brought some simple pasalubong, but nothing much. Mostly snacks, and a few scarves. I don't mind bringing some small stuff but it kind of pissed me off when people I had never met show up asking where their gift is...


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

I found great prices a spot in the US called Mills Fleet Farm and you could buy large bags of gummie or cinnamon bears, peanuts, roasted in the shell, sun flower seeds and other candies at huge discount and chocolate bars and it wouldn't break your budget but make it a good first time visit to see the in-laws.

Than hopefully the in-laws leave... Lol if not watch the money and your patience, good heart and understanding go out the door. Good luck and hope everything turns out good Dadman63.... agh I haven't heard of Diplog City so looked it up... whoa Mindano and also what a dangerous region in Mindanao.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

M.C.A. said:


> I found great prices a spot in the US called Mills Fleet Farm and you could buy large bags of gummie or cinnamon bears, peanuts, roasted in the shell, sun flower seeds and other candies at huge discount and chocolate bars and it wouldn't break your budget but make it a good first time visit to see the in-laws.
> 
> Than hopefully the in-laws leave... Lol if not watch the money and your patience, good heart and understanding go out the door. Good luck and hope everything turns out good Dadman63.... agh I haven't heard of Diplog City so looked it up... whoa Mindano and also what a dangerous region in Mindanao.


Now wait just a blasted minute there Mark. If anyone gets cinnamon gummy bears from the states-it's gonna be me .. Hahaha

Sure wish the original poster good luck anyway and hope all goes as planned.


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## esv1226 (Mar 13, 2014)

dadman63 said:


> I am planning on moving to Dipolog City in September. My fiancee as asked me to bring presents for her relatives- that will come visiting. Has anyone heard of this ?



Yes, Filipinos are known for bringing home "pasalubong". I can't tell what she expects. Maybe she simply likes some "tokens". If you bring something give them all to her and let her distribute. If relatives ask you - then you can say she's responsible. Never give the impression that you are an unlimited source.
There are many Filipinos in CA. Learn from them.


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## hogrider (May 25, 2010)

dadman63 said:


> I am planning on moving to Dipolog City in September. My fiancee as asked me to bring presents for her relatives- that will come visiting. Has anyone heard of this ?


My take on this is contrary to the general consensus here. If I go home to UK to visit family, my wife and I take home small gifts for them. Why should I treat my wife's family any less generously? We're not talking large sums of money here, a few dollars will buy something which will have a great deal more value the her family than it would at home. Do agree though, that it needs to be made clear that they are token gifts because of your visit and that they will not be forthcoming every other day of the week.


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## dadman63 (Dec 11, 2017)

esv1226 said:


> Yes, Filipinos are known for bringing home "pasalubong". I can't tell what she expects. Maybe she simply likes some "tokens". If you bring something give them all to her and let her distribute. If relatives ask you - then you can say she's responsible. Never give the impression that you are an unlimited source.
> There are many Filipinos in CA. Learn from them.[ just said
> 
> 
> She said chocolate and bars of of soap- good advise thank you


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## pronse (Apr 3, 2009)

Welcome to the Philippines ?

In my case, I nipped in the butt. Either nothing or the see the door!


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Delicious items, seasonings*

She said chocolate and bars of of soap- good advise thank you[/QUOTE]


Chocolate for sure would be cheaper to buy in the US and bring but I haven't been back since 2010, I remember a large branded chocolate bar on sale at about $1 in the US, but here the price for the same chocolate bar would be $5. Another expensive treat would be nuts.

My wife would get hungry for the pumpkin and sunflower seeds plus the many varieties of nuts, these products are overpriced or come in tiny packaging.

Dry seasonings like garlic or onion powder can cost from 700-1000 pesos (other seasonings) or Black pepper that doesn't taste or smell like dirt, in the larger containers if you can find any of your favorite seasonings in stock, sometimes I have to wait months or travel to other area's in order to find it, handy for BBQ's or cooking and I haven't seen Lawry's seasoning salt ever... sure miss that stuff but every now and then I can buy celery salt if available when available generic and in a small container at $3 each, if seasonings are important to you, you've been warned.


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## Rebaqshratz (May 15, 2016)

The interesting thing is that this "custom" is also followed by Filipinos with each other. My neighbor just returned from a cruise with her husband and first thing she walked across the street to talk with my wife and give her a small bag of US chocolates. Readily available at S&R like was mentioned above. But for me the experience over the last 8 years is completely harmless and is simply a kindness in sharing the trip or return. There are problems with this country but this is not one of them!


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## bigpearl (Jan 24, 2016)

Rebaqshratz said:


> The interesting thing is that this "custom" is also followed by Filipinos with each other. My neighbor just returned from a cruise with her husband and first thing she walked across the street to talk with my wife and give her a small bag of US chocolates. Readily available at S&R like was mentioned above. But for me the experience over the last 8 years is completely harmless and is simply a kindness in sharing the trip or return. There are problems with this country but this is not one of them!


Yes Reb, same here as we do with chocolates but must admit I do like the soap option as well. I see my BIL returning from Jeddah with many gifts for family no different to other OFW friends returning with a small gift for us, custom, apparently and one I delight with when Bengie or myself hand out sweets to our family and friends, simple and inexpensive with positive repercussions.

Cheers, Steve.


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## Nickleback99 (Aug 6, 2011)

"Expectations" are one of the reasons my asawa does not want to move back now that I just retired, because the expectations are Very difficult for our better halves when it comes to what families "expect" vs what we see as "reality". She says it's just far easier to say no and manage all that from afar, in addition to a better quality of life here overall in the Pacific NW (WA). Also includes for her Not going back Christmas, because again, Added pressures and expectations; so, prefers to send the money gift to Mom to disperse as we lay out. Still wants to vacay there when we can, but not live there. Her small circle of friends feel same.....they are all the ones who took the risk to work overseas and later move overseas; so.... It's especially more pronounced if family is truly poor. So, for now, we will live here, buy a home easily sold if things change, and visit when we can, along with obtaining some services our speech challenged 3 y.o. needs. 

As for gifts, some soaps, shampoos, chocolates, etc go a long way as "gifts", but I refused to gift anyone beyond her parents, But we did take some others out to eat. Pretty cheap. Wish you well.


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## Nickleback99 (Aug 6, 2011)

Oh, and yes we send a BB Box about 2x per yr full of all the stuff others above noted, but it's for the immediate family (mom, dad, sisters and brothers and any of their kiddos). Worth it's weight in gold (well, not really) for positive relationships.


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