# Have you made many friends?



## atlast (May 24, 2007)

Have you made many friends, and are they ex-pats or Spanish? I've made a lot of 'more than an aquaintance, not quite a friend yet'connections. I don't think I've been here long enough. And they are almost all ex-pats.


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## ellenjoan (Jun 17, 2007)

Let s be honest...friends...become friends after you have known them for years...so if you haven't been long enough here...you'll have aquaintances, not friends...

I know a lot of people here, but friends...no ! even 4 years isn't long enough. but that doesn t bother me...I know a lot of people and I know who to call when necessary...

The rest is not so important...your friends are there when you need them, even when you live in Spain !

Tata,

Eva


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## atlast (May 24, 2007)

I agree that friendship takes a long time to build, and language barriers don't help. Some people, though, seem to arrive and within a few weeks they have a whole network of people they do things with. It takes me forever to get to that point, if I ever do.


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## Goldberg (May 24, 2007)

*There are lots of clubs in Spain*

It is possible to meet people in all your activities, inevitably you will get on with some people and make friends the key is to network, and do what you like, then you will find others that have the same attitude.


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## atlast (May 24, 2007)

I'm not much of a joiner, but maybe I should try. A photography club, maybe.


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## synthia (Apr 18, 2007)

I've moved to new countries twice, and moved around in the US a lot. One thing I learned is that you have to accept all invitations at the beginning. When you are new you sometimes get a flurry of invitations that die off pretty quickly once everyone decides they've done enough to make you feel welcome. If you turned a lot of them down, you've eliminated a lot of chances to get to know people and to meet new people. Once those invitations dry up, it becomes a lot harder.


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## atlast (May 24, 2007)

I think that's part of what happened. We were too wrapped up in getting settled and really didn't worry about meeting people at first. We did pass on some social things. If we try the Canaries or move somewhere else, I think we'll take your advice, synthia.


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## mkettner (May 31, 2007)

From my personal experience I did not bond with other Canadian expatriates while in different countries. I am a pretty private person and most of my friends came through work assignments. However, I am sure my situation is not the norm.


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## atlast (May 24, 2007)

Not working is a big problem, too. When I think back, a huge percentage of my friends were made at work. People I met at parties or in Spanish evening classes or doing volunteer work tended to remain acquaintences or very casual friends. There is something about being exposed to someone on a daily basis, when things are going well and when they are not, that makes a difference. Also, there's the sheer amount of time you spend with them.


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## Missty (Jul 12, 2007)

Quite understand what your saying there really is no short cut to a *FRIEND* It seems stacked against me. I am single and I have been told attractive so that rules out all the married couples. Where I live I am the youngest person there at (38) so finding someone to go clubbing with is out of the question. My Spanish although I try hard is just not good enough to mix with the younger spanish community. And now I find myself jobless so all in all I am friendless. 

Does anyone get the impression that the Expats, that have been here a while do not want to be to associated with the new Expats. Fear of looking like a non spanish speaking, uncultured lemon, or catching the lergy. 

Still love it over here but being friendless and jobless is certainly taking its toll.

Oh well I´ll just keep on trying till someone speaks to me.


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## Destination Spain (Jun 17, 2007)

*Your not alone.....*

I am a 41 year old mother of 1 living here 7 years and lucky enough to have my best friend an mother with me.....but.....she's not up for clubbing 'til the wee hours and where I live the average age of my friends is 60 yrs old (no offensive they are good friends but......)

Join a club or class and get mingling. As for work things are getting harder here now and soooo expensive.

I don't know where you are but I think it is the same deal all over regardless of where you are. I am in Almeria and it is very quiet 11 months of the year but at least we get Creamfields once a year, it's like Glastonbury over 1 weekend in August!! 

Check out also wemploy.com if you haven't already, loads of jobs in Gibraltar.

Good luck 

Donna


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## atlast (May 24, 2007)

Ouch, Missty. Why can't an attractive female have friends that are couples? Seriously, are we still in that competitive thing that was encouraged when I was young? Do we really look at all single women as someone out to steal 'our man'?

I don't think I do that. I certainly hope not.


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