# Reactions from Friends and Relatives to Your Move



## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

Someone from Dallas recently mentioned all the hassles her family and friends were giving her about moving to Mexico, even questioning her judgment in relation to the safety of her young son whom she was bringing with her. 

Too many of the people I know just shut down completely at the very thought of moving into what they believe to be nothing but squalor and crime. Some jump in to warn you. Others just silently listen and look as though they are being confronted with a monkey that talks. 

It totally wears you out to talk to them. 

Did you have similar experiences when you look back to the time when you decided to actually leave the US?


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

ElPaso2012 said:


> Someone from Dallas recently mentioned all the hassles her family and friends were giving her about moving to Mexico, even questioning her judgment in relation to the safety of her young son whom she was bringing with her.
> 
> Too many of the people I know just shut down completely at the very thought of moving into what they believe to be nothing but squalor and crime. Some jump in to warn you. Others just silently listen and look as though they are being confronted with a monkey that talks.
> 
> ...


Nope. Of course, I have lived abroad for longer and shorter periods of time over the last 45 years or so, interspersed with longer periods of time living in the States. In 2007, when I let family and friends know I was retiring to Mexico, they all wished me well and most of them promised me they'd be down for a visit. Several of them have kept their promise, including one friend who came with her 86-year-old mother, who had a wonderful time on her first visit to Mexico!


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

Isla Verde said:


> Nope. Of course, I have lived abroad for longer and shorter periods of time over the last 45 years or so, interspersed with longer periods of time living in the States. In 2007, when I let family and friends know I was retiring to Mexico, they all wished me well and most of them promised me they'd be down for a visit. Several of them have kept their promise, including one friend who came with her 86-year-old mother, who had a wonderful time on her first visit to Mexico!


Wow, how fortunate for you. In fairness, I should mention that my sister understands, but that's about it.


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

p.s. I think I really should have posted this in the Chateria and thought I was doing so at the time.


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## AlanMexicali (Jun 1, 2011)

ElPaso2012 said:


> Wow, how fortunate for you. In fairness, I should mention that my sister understands, but that's about it.


Nobody I am friends with are afraid to visit my house in Mexicali or spend the day in TJ or travel in Mexico but then we all live in San Diego. Nobody ever mentioned anything like the fear of living anywhere in Mexico to me, so far.

I presume it has to do with what they hear and where they live. I would think most people in El Paso are like most people in San Diego, but not as liberal.

The ones listening to Rush Limbaugh might be afraid of Mexicans .eep:


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

My husband family mostly thought we weres nuts and the French side of the family was disappointed we did not move to the coast but was excited at the idea of having another place to visit.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

ElPaso2012 said:


> Wow, how fortunate for you. In fairness, I should mention that my sister understands, but that's about it.


I am fortunate to have friends who've travel a lot abroad and have also lived abroad, including in Latin America. These are the kind of people you meet when you major in Spanish in college!


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

ElPaso2012 said:


> p.s. I think I really should have posted this in the Chateria and thought I was doing so at the time.


This thread is fine where it is. After all, it is about how moving to Mexico has affected your life.


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

AlanMexicali said:


> Nobody I am friends with are afraid to visit my house in Mexicali or spend the day in TJ or travel in Mexico but then we all live in San Diego. Nobody ever mentioned anything like the fear of living anywhere in Mexico to me, so far.
> 
> I presume it has to do with what they hear and where they live. I would think most people in El Paso are like most people in San Diego, but not as liberal.
> 
> The ones listening to Rush Limbaugh might be afraid of Mexicans .eep:


There does seem to be a political divide along these lines. However, my ex-boss is very conservative and she and her husband are planning their own move, but to South America.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

ElPaso2012 said:


> There does seem to be a political divide along these lines. However, my ex-boss is very conservative and she and her husband are planning their own move, but to South America.


That's a possibility. It may also have to do with how much traveling abroad people have done before deciding to move abroad. Maybe your ex-boss and her husband are moving to a country in South America that gets good press in the US or maybe they have friends there. Just a guess . . .


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## tijuanahopeful (Apr 2, 2013)

Half of the people that I tell think it's great, the other half tell me that it's too dangerous, and that I'll be murdered by the drug cartels. I just ignore them and walk away.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

tijuanahopeful said:


> Half of the people that I tell think it's great, the other half tell me that it's too dangerous, and that I'll be murdered by the drug cartels. I just ignore them and walk away.


Good idea!


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## RVGRINGO (May 16, 2007)

Everyone thought we were insane, 53 years ago, when we moved to Turkey with our tiny children. we loved it there! Upon our return, we visited Canada and nobody blinked an eye. Then came several countries in Africa, Germany, England, Bahamas, Jamaica, Panama, Japan, Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, The Galapagos and Polynesia; some 30+ countries, in all. Nobody said a word about Mexico. They know better. Actually, I would love to return to Turkey, but I am too old, too tired and too broke.


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

Isla Verde said:


> That's a possibility. It may also have to do with how much traveling abroad people have done before deciding to move abroad. Maybe your ex-boss and her husband are moving to a country in South America that gets good press in the US or maybe they have friends there. Just a guess . . .


Well, he's the senior minister at a big church in Colorado, so they're very acquainted with missionaries with missionary projects abroad, although from more of a management, planning side than actually going themselves. 

You're sure right about previous experience. My dad came from Wesloco and taught me how great Mexico can be. People sought him out for day trips to Matamoros because he could speak Spanish and do the translations at restaurants and such. "It's poor, but nearly all of these people deserve our respect, and they know when it's fake!" he told me. Later, RCA would send him to Mexico to install two way radio systems. 

So, yes, I for one was certainly predisposed to set the fear aside and just enjoy Mexico because of prior experience. When I moved to El Paso I was absolutely shocked to be told over and over again by the locals and the people I worked with not to go. To me, the allure of having another country just across the bridge, another culture, another whole vibrant world to explore --- how could a person ignore that kind of opportunity? Yet here they sat spewing their misinformation, their expertise on the subject being derived from getting drunk there a few times in college and having lived in El Paso all of their lives. Who can question that kind of authority?


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## Marishka (Feb 1, 2009)

ElPaso2012 said:


> Someone from Dallas recently mentioned all the hassles her family and friends were giving her about moving to Mexico, even questioning her judgment in relation to the safety of her young son whom she was bringing with her.
> 
> Too many of the people I know just shut down completely at the very thought of moving into what they believe to be nothing but squalor and crime. Some jump in to warn you. Others just silently listen and look as though they are being confronted with a monkey that talks.
> 
> ...


Nope. Not a single person in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex has said anything negative to my husband or to me about our plans to move to Mexico. My expanded answer is here.

Btw, that day may come sooner than later. We've decided to start the process of selling our retail business.


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

Marishka said:


> Nope. Not a single person in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex has said anything negative to my husband or to me about our plans to move to Mexico. My expanded answer is here.
> 
> Btw, that day may come sooner than later. We've decided to start the process of selling our retail business.


Now that I think about it, I'm not sure if the adverse reaction I got was because I said "Mexico" or because I said "Juarez" to people in Dallas. I think as an experiment I'll send a few of them emails and mention Xalapa and see what the feedback is... I haven't told many people my plans because they are still in the infant stage. 

Your facts in the other post are as always, impeccable. City-Data.com confirms the murder rate of 10.9 homicides per 100K that you have in your other post, which is not bad for a large city. But for some reason they still color the City of Dallas in red as a high crime area in the map above their crime breakdown. 

Mind if I ask where you get the crime stats for Mexico?


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

RVGRINGO said:


> Everyone thought we were insane, 53 years ago, when we moved to Turkey with our tiny children. we loved it there! Upon our return, we visited Canada and nobody blinked an eye. Then came several countries in Africa, Germany, England, Bahamas, Jamaica, Panama, Japan, Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, The Galapagos and Polynesia; some 30+ countries, in all. Nobody said a word about Mexico. They know better. Actually, I would love to return to Turkey, but I am too old, too tired and too broke.


Wow, I'm sure the mention of moving to Turkey raised some eyebrows 53 years ago. Thirty countries in Africa, Europe, the Caribbean, Asia, and South America. That's an amazing travel history.


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## laurenS147 (Aug 23, 2013)

My son has heard so much negativity, that when I left him alone for a few moments in the Mexican Consulate waiting room yesterday, he'd had a near panic attack when I returned, telling me he was afraid he was going to be kidnapped by one of the Mexicans sitting with him in the waiting room. It really irritates me how narrow-minded and stupid people can be. (Not him) He's 8. These are not his thoughts; they are what he has heard others say.


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## laurenS147 (Aug 23, 2013)

RVGRINGO said:


> Everyone thought we were insane, 53 years ago, when we moved to Turkey with our tiny children. we loved it there! Upon our return, we visited Canada and nobody blinked an eye. Then came several countries in Africa, Germany, England, Bahamas, Jamaica, Panama, Japan, Thailand, Singapore, Hong Kong, The Galapagos and Polynesia; some 30+ countries, in all. Nobody said a word about Mexico. They know better. Actually, I would love to return to Turkey, but I am too old, too tired and too broke.


I bet your children had an exciting childhood.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

laurenS147 said:


> My son has heard so much negativity, that when I left him alone for a few moments in the Mexican Consulate waiting room yesterday, he'd had a near panic attack when I returned, telling me he was afraid he was going to be kidnapped by one of the Mexicans sitting with him in the waiting room. It really irritates me how narrow-minded and stupid people can be. (Not him) He's 8. These are not his thoughts; they are what he has heard others say.


How awful for him! Maybe if you mention this to the people who've been saying bad things about Mexico in his hearing, they'll keep their uninformed opinions to themselves.


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

laurenS147 said:


> My son has heard so much negativity, that when I left him alone for a few moments in the Mexican Consulate waiting room yesterday, he'd had a near panic attack when I returned, telling me he was afraid he was going to be kidnapped by one of the Mexicans sitting with him in the waiting room. It really irritates me how narrow-minded and stupid people can be. (Not him) He's 8. These are not his thoughts; they are what he has heard others say.


One good thing about your move is that after a little while in Mexico, your son will have his own experience with Mexicans and be much better informed.


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## lagoloo (Apr 12, 2011)

Other than declaring we were stark, staring mad, our friends and relatives said they'd miss us.

Sometimes they visit, and decide it wasn't a bad idea at all.


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

lagoloo said:


> Other than declaring we were stark, staring mad, our friends and relatives said they'd miss us.
> 
> Sometimes they visit, and decide it wasn't a bad idea at all.


I'm hoping for the same result.


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## Hound Dog (Jan 18, 2009)

My buddy from Mobile, actually from Bon Secour Bay but you probably never heard of Bon Secour so I say Mobile, told me about 1999 that I was nuts to move to Mexico as they would cut my head off. Then he moved to dangerous N´Alwlns , There is no accounting for taste.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Hound Dog said:


> My buddy from Mobile, actually from Bon Secour Bay but you probably never heard of Bon Secour so I say Mobile, told me about 1999 that I was nuts to move to Mexico as they would cut my head off. Then he moved to dangerous N´Alwlns , There is no accounting for taste.


Maybe your buddy really loves Cajun cuisine  .


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## mickisue1 (Mar 10, 2012)

El Paso, my daughter in law is from Weslaco, and when she and my son mentioned that we were thinking of moving to Mexico, her relatives all gasped in alarm.

And they're all first, second or third generation Mexican Americans.

I just figure you can't live your life for someone else, nor can you convince them of something they're dead set against. So I don't put much stock in what "they" say, I just do my research, discuss my findings with my spouse, and we make our decisions. 

It's that way for a lot of things, isn't it?


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

mickisue1 said:


> El Paso, my daughter in law is from Weslaco, and when she and my son mentioned that we were thinking of moving to Mexico, her relatives all gasped in alarm.
> 
> And they're all first, second or third generation Mexican Americans.


That seems odd, and a bit sad. I'm guessing it's been a while since any of them have been back to Mexico.


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## Longford (May 25, 2012)

Mexicans, Mexican-Americans living in the USA have strong ties, communication with family members still in Mexico and many tend to visit Mexico regularly. Advice offered by such persons shouldn't be discarded without first considering their depth of knowledge.


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## tijuanahopeful (Apr 2, 2013)

When people start asking questions about my move, I just tell them that I did my research, I use my common sense, and if they have any more questions, Google is their friend.


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

mickisue1 said:


> El Paso, my daughter in law is from Weslaco, and when she and my son mentioned that we were thinking of moving to Mexico, her relatives all gasped in alarm.
> 
> And they're all first, second or third generation Mexican Americans.
> 
> ...


Indeed.

I don't even tend to characterize the nay-sayers as "ignorant" people, considering the penchant of the US press to report little else but crime, crime, all the time in regards to Mexico. Hollywood is not much better...


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## Heather J (Oct 21, 2013)

ElPaso2012 said:


> Someone from Dallas recently mentioned all the hassles her family and friends were giving her about moving to Mexico, even questioning her judgment in relation to the safety of her young son whom she was bringing with her.
> 
> Too many of the people I know just shut down completely at the very thought of moving into what they believe to be nothing but squalor and crime. Some jump in to warn you. Others just silently listen and look as though they are being confronted with a monkey that talks.
> 
> ...



Yes, our family thinks we are CRAZY for wanting to move to Mexico.


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

Heather J said:


> Yes, our family thinks we are CRAZY for wanting to move to Mexico.


So why are you going anyway, if you are...


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Heather J said:


> Yes, our family thinks we are CRAZY for wanting to move to Mexico.


You might try asking if any of them have ever spent any time in Mexico, or don't the facts interest them?


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## mickisue1 (Mar 10, 2012)

Heh. I just noticed the response, way back in Aug from Longford to my comment about my daughter in law's family.

To the best of my knowledge, the reason for their fear at the thought of my husband and I living for any length of time in MX is that they live in a town next to the border with Nuevo Laredo. 

If there is any way to skew one's belief about a country, it's living near a tiny piece of it that has experienced a lot of violence.

Although, her uncle teaches in Houston. Not exactly the epicenter of peace and tranquility. And no one has any qualms about visiting him.


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## Heather J (Oct 21, 2013)

ElPaso2012 said:


> So why are you going anyway, if you are...


Because we believe that trouble can be found anywhere if you look for it. We don't plan
on looking for it.


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## Heather J (Oct 21, 2013)

Isla Verde said:


> You might try asking if any of them have ever spent any time in Mexico, or don't the facts interest them?


This is exactly what we've tried to do furnish them with the FACTS. Mexico is beautiful and safe as long as we are safe in our choices. I can't wait to begin our great adventure!!


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

The facts with which they are familiar, Isla, come from the endless stream of crime, crime all the time stories from the US mainstream media. At least that's a big part of what can't be denied as an image problem for Mexico. I don't mind the crime stories, but when that's all they consider fit to print outside of the Travel section I call that drive-by journalism.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Heather J said:


> This is exactly what we've tried to do furnish them with the FACTS. Mexico is beautiful and safe as long as we are safe in our choices. I can't wait to begin our great adventure!!


Well, "things" can happen here, just like anywhere else, but I must say that back in the 1980s I found life in Philadelphia was much more hazardous than it has been living in Mexico City for the last six plus years. You have the right attitude to begin a new life in this wonderful country. Good luck!


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## Heather J (Oct 21, 2013)

Isla Verde said:


> Well, "things" can happen here, just like anywhere else, but I must say that back in the 1980s I found life in Philadelphia was much more hazardous than it has been living in Mexico City for the last six plus years. You have the right attitude to begin a new life in this wonderful country. Good luck!


Thank you! I am currently working on my Spanish which is more Spanglish at this point. LOL But I will get there!


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

Heather J said:


> This is exactly what we've tried to do furnish them with the FACTS. Mexico is beautiful and safe as long as we are safe in our choices. I can't wait to begin our great adventure!!


Let us also remember, there are adventurers and then there are those who will always be hobbits in the Shire. Nothing wrong with either choice. But the former outlook on life is lot more interesting in my book...

I also wish you the best of luck.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Heather J said:


> Thank you! I am currently working on my Spanish which is more Spanglish at this point. LOL But I will get there!


Learning to "live" in Spanish is the key to finding your new self in Mexico. Otherwise, you'll your time here looking at life through a sort of translucent linguistic veil.


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## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

Isla Verde said:


> Learning to "live" in Spanish is the key to finding your new self in Mexico. Otherwise, you'll your time here looking at life through a sort of translucent linguistic veil.


That's a good way of putting it, Isla. In fact, I have a serious question in that vein I will post in a new topic.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

ElPaso2012 said:


> That's a good way of putting it, Isla. In fact, I have a serious question in that vein I will post in a new topic.


Thanks. I still feel that way sometimes when I'm with a group of Mexicans telling jokes in very fast "chilango" Spanish. Looking forward to reading your serious question.


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## Heather J (Oct 21, 2013)

ElPaso2012 said:


> Let us also remember, there are adventurers and then there are those who will always be hobbits in the Shire. Nothing wrong with either choice. But the former outlook on life is lot more interesting in my book...
> 
> I also wish you the best of luck.


Agreed. I prefer the first personally.  The time between now and when we get to seems like forever. We will be in Merida for the first time in April. I'll be sweating. LOL But enjoying the culture and fun of the city. Thank you for the good thoughts!


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