# how easy is it to make friends in Australia!



## Baby75 (Jul 18, 2007)

Hello 
i was on another forum for mothers and children and there was a thread from a girl wondering what its really like to live in Australia while most people who replied loved it there alot of the girls said they had not made any real close friends that they would text and ring on a regular basis and this got me wondering surely it cant be that hard to make friends i know some people are hard to get to know but they couldn't all be like that . any way how have you found making friends hard or easy is it easy to settle in.
we have friends living there and its my husbands best friend who married an Australian he never had any problems making friends and has settled in great 

what do you think!


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## Hazel (May 30, 2007)

I've been living in Oz for almost 6 months now and have a 6 year old in grade 1. In my experience it *is* hard to get close to the other moms. I won't say *all* Australians are difficult to get close to, but it does seem harder to get a hard date, so to speak, with an Australian mom. I don't know what it is. I found I made friends with a true blue Aussie lady of 75 but no one my own age (who by the way was such a help during my settling in process). I have asked two other moms for a play date and they seem to um and aah but nothing ever happens. I have had get-togethers with other foreigners, no problem: Chinese, Britons and even a Serb. But not a single Aussie....unless I count my neighbour who is my age and is very nice. I am not sure if it's a school thing or what. Let me know when/if you ever find out the answer! Oh I forgot to add that Kiwis I find sooo easy to get together with...I really like them.


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## newtoOZ (May 24, 2007)

I think it is easier to get to know other people who are new because you have a lot more in common with them. Also, they don't have a network of friends already in place. Think about it. How many new friends have you made in the last year?


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## ct220959 (Jul 19, 2007)

Hi,

maybe we got lucky, two girls who play netball and a son who plays rugby we had no probs at all. Dont stand back and wait though as we brits can do, you have to be quite forward at times. We also found the meeting place was generally the local or a coffee or wine bar. 
that said if you ask people round for a barbie then you could be on, I cant cook but everyone just came with eskie, meat, stubbies and wine. Men took over barbie and it was great

col


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## Baby75 (Jul 18, 2007)

ct220959 said:


> Hi,
> 
> maybe we got lucky, two girls who play netball and a son who plays rugby we had no probs at all. Dont stand back and wait though as we brits can do, you have to be quite forward at times. We also found the meeting place was generally the local or a coffee or wine bar.
> that said if you ask people round for a barbie then you could be on, I cant cook but everyone just came with eskie, meat, stubbies and wine. Men took over barbie and it was great
> ...


So I guess its sos get out there and be friendly i dont mind that i like meeting new people and my oh has no problem talking to people he would talk to a wall if it would answer back never a dull moment with him. we have 3 boys and im sure they will be in to every thing i love horse ridding so i want to get our boys in to that. 
thanks for the positive feed back


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## Baby75 (Jul 18, 2007)

newtoOZ said:


> I think it is easier to get to know other people who are new because you have a lot more in common with them. Also, they don't have a network of friends already in place. Think about it. How many new friends have you made in the last year?



yes i see what you mean and its all about meeting new people doesn't matter were they are from


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## Baby75 (Jul 18, 2007)

Baby75 said:


> yes i see what you mean and its all about meeting new people doesn't matter were they are from



*that smiley was meant to be a happy one
*


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## tygwyn (Apr 20, 2007)

Yes, like the others have said, its all about putting yourself out there. I didnt have a huge circle of friends in the UK but here I have really made the effort. I have lots of 'expat' friends but also Aussies too. I volunteer at the school - just reading once a week but its gotten me well known there. I volunteer as a driver for meals on wheels - again it just gets my face out there. My daughter swims 3 times a week in squads, does gymnastics and horse riding. These have all been opportunities for me to meet new people. I've only really got ONE true Aussie mate (and her family) but I have lots of Aussie aquaintances.

The main thing is to not be shy - just get out there!


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## newtoOZ (May 24, 2007)

People here are rather outgoing, so there might be an assumption that if you don't 'put yourself out there' it's because you really aren't interested in meeting people. If you are an introvert, that makes it a bit harder, I think.


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## Baby75 (Jul 18, 2007)

newtoOZ said:


> People here are rather outgoing, so there might be an assumption that if you don't 'put yourself out there' it's because you really aren't interested in meeting people. If you are an introvert, that makes it a bit harder, I think.


good point  ill be aiming to get out and do things and meet people i really want to make a good go of this as i am really a home person but my husband has always wanted to go to Australia he has been asking me for AGES we haven't been having much luck here in Ireland job wise two companies my husband worked for shut up shop so twice it ruined our chances of applying for a mortgage so feck it time to see a bit of the world i think
we have nothing to lose and lots to gain!


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## Quassia (Jun 25, 2007)

*Big chance!*

Hi Baby475, It sounds like life's telling you something! Time to pack up and go! It's never easy starting over, but it's a fantastic opportunity to change your families life for the better. 

As people say, you have to put yourself out there to make friends. It's not like neighbours or Home & Away. People with established social circles are not motivated to include newbies, but in a new country there will always be others in the same boat, and looking for friends.

The very best of luck to everyone making the move. I will be myself, for the second time, before long, and will be looking for friends myself. Q


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## cmallon (Aug 20, 2007)

Baby75 said:


> Hello
> i was on another forum for mothers and children and there was a thread from a girl wondering what its really like to live in Australia while most people who replied loved it there alot of the girls said they had not made any real close friends that they would text and ring on a regular basis and this got me wondering surely it cant be that hard to make friends i know some people are hard to get to know but they couldn't all be like that . any way how have you found making friends hard or easy is it easy to settle in.
> we have friends living there and its my husbands best friend who married an Australian he never had any problems making friends and has settled in great
> 
> what do you think!


I think it depends on where you are and how hard you try. We haven't actually made our move yet but have visited family twice. They made some close friends very quickly in the court where they live and on our visits we have also made friends with their neighbours and we still keep in touch with them, one even sent a present when we had our little boy. When our relations were considering moving from Victoria to Queensland their friends were talking about a petition to keep them there, thankly they have decided to stay and we will hopefully be joining them (and our ready made friends) soon


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## Baby75 (Jul 18, 2007)

cmallon said:


> I think it depends on where you are and how hard you try. We haven't actually made our move yet but have visited family twice. They made some close friends very quickly in the court where they live and on our visits we have also made friends with their neighbours and we still keep in touch with them, one even sent a present when we had our little boy. When our relations were considering moving from Victoria to Queensland their friends were talking about a petition to keep them there, thankly they have decided to stay and we will hopefully be joining them (and our ready made friends) soon


thats great we are very lucky and have very good friends living over there my dh was over in April and got on very well with their friends so i hope i do to when we make the move it wil make it a little easier having them there a network to break in to any way


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## gfhawkins (May 18, 2010)

*Stay positive*

Hi all,

Unfortunately I found this website a little too late, but for anybody who is still interested and finds this thread it may be useful to make a comment.

Making friends in a new country is obviously difficult for anybody, especially considering the other stresses that you have on you. However I believe it pays to keep a perspective that is going to assist rather than hinder you. While many Australians don't like talking to strangers or people from other countries - even we blow this out of proportion and say 90% of people - that still leaves 2 million people who will happily befriend you. 

Keeping a pessimistic viewpoint (ie ideas like 'all Australians are racist' or 'nobody will talk to me') is not going to be helpful in this situation - others very quickly pick up on negativity, and most prefer not to be around it (effectively scaring potential friends away). I agree it IS difficult to make friends (I myself have been through it, living in a very isolating country for 5 years), however persistence does pay off. 

One useful tip is to keep in mind a visual of what you want and a belief that you can get there, while also considering the realistic challenges you are going to face along the way. This ensures that you keep up motivation, but are not put off by the challenges along the way.

[Removed by moderator - touting for business is NOT allowed]

Thanks, and all the best making friends!


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## KimMii (Apr 29, 2010)

I think it depends on your age, social enthusiasm, and WHERE you live in Australia to be honest. Here on the Gold Coast strangers speak to strangers all the time, and friendships are made almost daily...it's just 'the way it is'


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## kaz101 (Nov 29, 2007)

KimMii said:


> I think it depends on your age, social enthusiasm, and WHERE you live in Australia to be honest. Here on the Gold Coast strangers speak to strangers all the time, and friendships are made almost daily...it's just 'the way it is'


Down here in the Limestone Coast strangers talk to each other too but it does still take a while to form a 'proper' friendship rather than an acquaintance in my experience. I joined several clubs and now have a few close friends and many acquaintances and we didn't know anyone locally when we moved here.


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## Johnfromoz (Oct 20, 2010)

It's a lot easier to make friends with other newcomers and ethnic people. A lot of Aussies look down on people with accents and different skin colour. Years ago I came across a story in some publication where a pyramid was drawn with Aussies on top, english speaking migrants on the next step, then came Scandinavians, then people from West and East Europe, then Sothern Europeans etc. Sadly, this attitude happens to be true. But no need to worry. It is quite common that even Aussie neighbours who have lived next door for 20 or more years, don't invite each other over for a cuppa. When one knocks on neighbour's door then the door opens only about 15-20cm to find out what's up. This especially applies to older generation who believe that their home is their castle.


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## kaz101 (Nov 29, 2007)

Johnfromoz said:


> It is quite common that even Aussie neighbours who have lived next door for 20 or more years, don't invite each other over for a cuppa. When one knocks on neighbour's door then the door opens only about 15-20cm to find out what's up. This especially applies to older generation who believe that their home is their castle.


I think it depends on where you are - in any city that would probably be true (I'm thinking of London here too) but in regional areas I've found that people are much more friendly and neighbours know each other. Not only do doors open up but sometimes they are left open!


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## Johnfromoz (Oct 20, 2010)

kaz101 said:


> I think it depends on where you are - in any city that would probably be true (I'm thinking of London here too) but in regional areas I've found that people are much more friendly and neighbours know each other. Not only do doors open up but sometimes they are left open!


I agree, that it really depends on where you are, but I also happen to own a 500ha farm 430kms from Sydney, in the wheat belt, and it has been very difficult to even make acquaintances with locals, not to mention friends. The prevcious owner, who happened to be a true blue Aussie but very innovative, was quickly written off by locals as a crazyman. The only locals that communicate with me somehow, are the farm managers and tenants. Even Aussie cityslickers are trash for them, not to mention Italian [word changed by moderator since can be derogatory in some countries] .


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## finduilas (Aug 24, 2014)

Oh my God, I could have written this myself. 7 years late to the thread but this is SO current for me.


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