# How do western expats adjust to the conservative lifestyle?



## Sarah_124 (Jan 10, 2014)

I'm moving to UAE soon but very unsure about how open minded they are. Do westerners have hard time adjusting to the lifestyle? Another question is how does your life differ from living in UAE from back home?


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## FlexRay (Feb 12, 2013)

I would be interested to hear what you mean by 'the lifestyle' and when you say 'open minded they are'...open minded about what?

We moved dot Dubai 9 months ago and wish we done it sooner, wouldnt change a thing.


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## Budw (Oct 14, 2013)

Conservative lifestyle? Dubai? No.... Lifestyle is great here; in most ways very progressive; with a few odd things in between. But definitely not conservative.


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## Visp (Mar 23, 2013)

Generally as long as you stay in the 'Western' areas and don't cause too much of a public spectacle, you can do as you please.


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## londonmandan (Jul 23, 2013)

Whenever I have been there I have done as I have done here in the UK, my mates that live there are all the same. The only things I take note of is the PDA with the other half whilst in public and she dresses accordingly in the malls etc other than that don't get pissed in the street, don't act a fool and just be respectful and you'll be fine.

Speaking of Malls and dress codes etc, what do you ladies all wear as I have seen many things and she is cautious about it but it seems a bit unfair that other ladies are flaunting everything if you know what I mean.


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## Simey (Dec 4, 2012)

The one that trips me up constantly is extending a hand when being introduced to a lady. In the US it would be rude not to do so it is quite automatic. By the time I catch myself it is usually too late. That can very awkward here depending on the woman concerned. 

It's my fault of course but a lifetime of social habits can't be undone overnight. And to make it worse, unfortunately, you cannot always tell someone's nationality or attitudes towards this by appearance or dress.

A similar issue is learning not to extend a middle digit to many of the drivers here. I really think driving would be better if the law permitted more communication along those lines.


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## twowheelsgood (Feb 21, 2013)

Practically, the lifestyle here only prevents a few western 'traits' from being displayed;

Drunkenness
Drug usage
Religious fanaticism
Gun toting nut jobs being allowed in public
Adults wearing clothing they really shouldn't
Rudeness
Disrespect for others views

So whats actually bad about those ? I don't like them in the Uk so this place is really great.

Okay, we miss holding hands when walking along, but its a small price to pay for the above.


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## Newbie14 (Dec 30, 2013)

]I might be moving to the UAE, it's either there or indonesia, any advice? and I've found a great blog about living there is call "reluctant emigrant" it's about living in the middle east its funny and a good, read, the writer has now moved to Jakarta, but the earlier posts are all about the middle east.

From what I've read, it's not that strict in Dubai but it is outside of that.


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## IzzyBella (Mar 11, 2013)

Wear a burqa + don't even talk to the opposite sex = you'll have no trouble.

Alternatively, you can just act like a slightly modest human being from the west and also be perfectly fine. 

Don't sweat it. You'll pick up on most things within a day.


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## Chocoya (Dec 9, 2013)

FlexRay said:


> I would be interested to hear what you mean by 'the lifestyle' and when you say 'open minded they are'...open minded about what?
> 
> We moved dot Dubai 9 months ago and wish we done it sooner, wouldnt change a thing.


What is the level of your lifestyle that you feel it would clash with the expat lifestyle of Dubai? Here, unless you are publicly lewd, rude, drunk, etc you will lead a happy and interesting life here. 

Basically:
It is illegal to live together with a member of the opposite sex unless you are husband and wife or closely related - not a difficult rule to follow, I am sure. 
Clothing is western but not revealing - covered shoulders to the elbows, skirts to the knee, at least. No tummies or cleavage showing - not difficult
No drinking alcohol in public places - you can obtain an alcohol license if you wish which permits you to purchase a certain quantity of alcohol annually from designated outlets and consume it in your home, only. You can also drink in the restaurants etc in major hotels. Be aware, however, that there is ZERO tolerance for drink driving or public innebriation - all not difficult.

I think you are confusing the UAE with more conservative nations such as KSA.

As long as you lead a private life, you will be undisturbed here. Remember, however, you are a visitor in a Muslim nation and, as such, should respect their laws, beliefs, culture, way of life etc. - that is just good manners where ever you go.


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

twowheelsgood said:


> Practically, the lifestyle here only prevents a few western 'traits' from being displayed;
> 
> Drunkenness
> Drug usage
> ...


Not sure if you are being sarcastic  but you can hold hands anywhere 

And rudeness is very much there, just in different situations. It is rude to speed up at a pedestrian crossing or push into a queue or barge into a lift bumping into those getting out


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## Geordie Jetsetter (Jan 2, 2014)

Chocoya said:


> As long as you lead a private life, you will be undisturbed here. Remember, however, you are a visitor in a Muslim nation and, as such, should respect their laws, beliefs, culture, way of life etc..


Such a shame this isn't a two way thing isn't it? We kowtow to "their" rules but turn it the other way around and "they" don't to Western rules and norms, wanting to instill "their" rules on the West.


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## IzzyBella (Mar 11, 2013)

Geordie Jetsetter said:


> Such a shame this isn't a two way thing isn't it? We kowtow to "their" rules but turn it the other way around and "they" don't to Western rules and norms, wanting to instill "their" rules on the West.


It's *"their"* country. We instil "our" rules on them in the West. Our laws, our norms, our expectations. To the point where some places refuse to let muslim women wear burqas as it makes "us" uncomfortable.

If you don't like it, don't live here.

Don't be that person.


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

IzzyBella said:


> We instil "our" rules on them in the West. *Our laws, our norms, our expectations*. To the point where some places refuse to let muslim women wear burqas as it makes "us" uncomfortable.


France? yes
UK? definitely not


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## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

I was always cautious holding hands with the girlfriend until I noticed all the Arabs doing it so now will hold hands in the malls.

Actually the biggest change in my lifestyle and greatest challenge is the wild nightlife and keeping away from it ;-) 

I've been in love with seedy bars and the people who associate with those joints for 30 years, no such places in the US to speak of.


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## Malbec (Jan 2, 2014)

XDoodle****** said:


> I was always cautious holding hands with the girlfriend until I noticed all the Arabs doing it so now will hold hands in the malls.
> 
> Actually the biggest change in my lifestyle and greatest challenge is the wild nightlife and keeping away from it ;-)
> [...]


I have seen that many times as well and not only in malls. I saw Arab couples holding hands while walking in Marina.


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## XDoodlebugger (Jan 24, 2012)

Malbec said:


> I have seen that many times as well and not only in malls. I saw Arab couples holding hands while walking in Marina.


Not as often as I see gentlemen from Pakistan holding hands but ditto on the Marina as well.


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## ccr (Jun 20, 2010)

Tropicana said:


> Not sure if you are being sarcastic  but you can hold hands anywhere


Been holding hands everywhere since 2002 when we were living in Abu Dhabi, then now in Dubai.


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## Chocoya (Dec 9, 2013)

Tropicana said:


> Not sure if you are being sarcastic  but you can hold hands anywhere
> 
> And rudeness is very much there, just in different situations. It is rude to speed up at a pedestrian crossing or push into a queue or barge into a lift bumping into those getting out


We are a Muslim family and I am fully covered and my husband and I always hold hands in public. I can't see anything wrong with it at all. (between husband and wife it is fine)


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## BringBackBuck8 (Sep 20, 2013)

I was in the same boat, I arrived here 3 weeks ago. It's safe to say that if you live in the 'Marina bubble' you could be anywhere in the Western world; except with more Russian ladies of ill repute and lots of South Asians insisting on calling you sir and being deferential. It's the most commercial and consumerist place I've ever been. In fact, I've been a little disappointed at the lack of difference!

As other posters said; don't get smashed in public or maul your wife/girlfriend outside the privacy of your own home and you'll be just fine! Just be prepared for some interesting driving and forget conventions of motorway driving from the western world!

Oh and the weather's nice.


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## BringBackBuck8 (Sep 20, 2013)

Oh and on the rudeness......

Take a trip to the mall and see how some Arabs and some Western Expats speak to their maids/nannies and those employed in menial work.

Makes you ashamed to be human.


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## Byja (Mar 3, 2013)

BringBackBuck8 said:


> Oh and on the rudeness......
> 
> Take a trip to the mall and see ...


I've fixed that for ya.

Every ethnic, social, economic, (anything else) group here show their lack of manners in their own way.


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## ACertainRomance (Jun 21, 2013)

Byja said:


> I've fixed that for ya.
> 
> Every ethnic, social, economic, (anything else) group here show their lack of manners in their own way.


Sometimes etiquette(for want of a better word) can be misunderstood as rudeness.... Different cultures will always express things in different ways, its not always meant to be rude 

That said, I've only been here since August and the key word to a relaxing, yet fantastic, time here is "respect"...


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

ACertainRomance said:


> Sometimes etiquette(for want of a better word) can be misunderstood as rudeness.... Different cultures will always express things in different ways, its not always meant to be rude
> 
> .


Thanks for mentioning how long you have been here which may explain your above (wrong) belief. 

Most things which appear rude are exactly that; rude behavior. 

Cultural differences explain very few of them. Some examples of rude behavior which I have seen recently; 

1) A person who barges into trains, lifts will not do so if his manager or some relative is exiting. So he knows very well that not giving way is rude, but he is not bothered to show that respect to someone he does not know and so can not reprimand him

2) Snapping fingers to call waiters and other staff; again, the person doing it is not displaying any "etiquette" and rather is mistreating people he believes will not react and demand good behavior

3) Driver shouting and abusing a car wash attendant for making a mistake. No cultural difference factor here, as the driver would not have behaved like that in the West or most parts of the East as cursing someone's family would likely have resulted in him getting assaulted


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## ACertainRomance (Jun 21, 2013)

I see clearly you missed the word "sometimes" in my post.... I fail to see how being here for 10yrs or 10mins makes a difference, perhaps you just lack a little understanding


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## Simey (Dec 4, 2012)

Tropicana said:


> Thanks for mentioning how long you have been here which may explain your above (wrong) belief.
> 
> Most things which appear rude are exactly that; rude behavior.
> 
> ...


Not to defend those instances exactly, but I am sometimes sympathetic. 

1. I haven't seen the "barging on the lift before people exit" thing so much. I have many times observed the party of 8 that insists on boarding the same 6 person lift - complete with push chair, three screaming kids, 6 bags of shopping and Filipino nanny. This can take several tessellating minutes to manage while everyone else must wait. 

As for trains, well to say the least the "let others exit before you board" rule (sensible though it is) isn't universal in the world. I once watched a fist fight break out on the Beijing metro over just that issue. 

2. I have never seen a place where waiters are so adept at ignoring their customers. Is lack of peripheral vision a prerequisite for the job? Some of the finger snapping and yelling is simply because otherwise the customer will never get their attention. 

3. I have found myself getting very frustrated at the car washes and I hate it because of course I know the workers are underpaid and live in poor conditions. Still, I can't avoid them and I dread using a car wash here. It's always a 1-2 hour ordeal. 

Much of this seems to be because a lot of the actual washing appears to me to be play acting - slowly rubbing paint that was already washed twice before. I'm sure they do this because some prima donna once lambasted them and didn't tip. But the other side is the rest of us end up wasting hours while they theatrically overdo it.

I'm still looking for a place where I can just wash my own da**ed car.


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## blazeaway (Sep 28, 2011)

BringBackBuck8 said:


> I was in the same boat, I arrived here 3 weeks ago. It's safe to say that if you live in the 'Marina bubble' you could be anywhere in the Western world; except with more Russian ladies of ill repute and lots of South Asians insisting on calling you sir and being deferential. It's the most commercial and consumerist place I've ever been. In fact, I've been a little disappointed at the lack of difference! As other posters said; don't get smashed in public or maul your wife/girlfriend outside the privacy of your own home and you'll be just fine! Just be prepared for some interesting driving and forget conventions of motorway driving from the western world! Oh and the weather's nice.


The weather s terrible, this week at least!


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## Beamrider (May 18, 2012)

Simey said:


> 1. I haven't seen the "barging on the lift before people exit" thing so much.


I recommend a few Metro trips and taller work buildings lift visits for the full phenomenon appreciation.


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## Fat Bhoy Tim (Feb 28, 2013)

Beamrider said:


> I recommend a few Metro trips and taller work buildings lift visits for the full phenomenon appreciation.


Even more amusing are those who stand right in front of the lifts on the ground floor, and then are astounded when the doors open and they almost barrel into people getting out. :confused2:


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## rsinner (Feb 3, 2009)

No disrespect meant to anyone, but no idea what is meant by UAE being "gracious" by accepting us as "guest workers".
I dont see the same level of indulgence for the host country when we talk about foreigners working in the US, UK or anywhere else in the world. The local market has a skill gap, and if and when that skill gap is met by the locally available talent we will be replaced. Happens everywhere else and happens in the UAE as well.
Otherwise sounds a bit too much like an Emirates Airlines ad (for their overpriced tickets)


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## Chocoholic (Oct 29, 2012)

And on the topic of respect - sadly 'some' people don't realise that repsect is earned not demanded.


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## TallyHo (Aug 21, 2011)

Yep. I've been taking the metro a lot recently and it's commonplace. Try exiting the trains at, say, BurJuman during peak rush hour. 

Not to mention mall lifts on busy weekends (especially the Dubai Mall lift from the bookstore to LG). 

But to be fair many of the pushers are from overcrowded countries in Asia where this is a fact of life.

As Westerners we're spoiled in that, even in the UK, we're used to a lot more personal space, which is a concept that barely exists in certain parts of the world.

I still sometimes feel like shouting, hey, it's ok. It's Dubai, not Mumbai or Manila or Beijing or Cairo. There's plenty of room, just take your time! It's not the end of the world if you need to wait for the next lift. 



Beamrider said:


> I recommend a few Metro trips and taller work buildings lift visits for the full phenomenon appreciation.


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## IzzyBella (Mar 11, 2013)

TallyHo said:


> As Westerners we're spoiled in that, even in the UK, we're used to a lot more personal space


Tube. Rush hour. Nuff said.


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## Fat Bhoy Tim (Feb 28, 2013)

IzzyBella said:


> Tube. Rush hour. Nuff said.


I thought that said "Lube", and I was about to agree. 

Made the mistake of taking the bus to a friend's in Disco G when my car was knackered. The queues all seemed to orderly and polite ... and then doors opened and everyone lurched forward like someone had scored a winning goal in the last minute of a cup final. 

Swept up by the crowed, doesn't begin to describe this.


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## Stevesolar (Dec 21, 2012)

Fat Bhoy Tim said:


> Even more amusing are those who stand right in front of the lifts on the ground floor, and then are astounded when the doors open and they almost barrel into people getting out. :confused2:


When bored, i stand right by the inside door of our work building lift when going down to ground floor.
The looks on peoples faces is classic when the door opens and they see me standing in the door, ready to get out. They then stand no chance of barging past me to get in the lift, before i get out - as i make a point of standing right in the middle and filling the available door aperture space!!
Before i did this - people regularly tried to get in, before i got out - none succeeded - as a full rugby hand-off greeted any males that tried!
Cheers
Steve


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## Fat Bhoy Tim (Feb 28, 2013)

Stevesolar said:


> When bored, i stand right by the inside door of our work building lift when going down to ground floor.
> The looks on peoples faces is classic when the door opens and they see me standing in the door, ready to get out. They then stand no chance of barging past me to get in the lift, before i get out - as i make a point of standing right in the middle and filling the available door aperture space!!
> Before i did this - people regularly tried to get in, before i got out - none succeeded - as a full rugby hand-off greeted any males that tried!
> Cheers
> Steve


I do the same, as a former prop I always like to see them try. One person actually did and got clattered, and ended up with a rather shocked look on his face.


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## Byja (Mar 3, 2013)

TallyHo said:


> But to be fair many of the pushers are from overcrowded countries in Asia where this is a fact of life.
> As Westerners we're spoiled in that, even in the UK, we're used to a lot more personal space, which is a concept that barely exists in certain parts of the world.


While it's understandable that they have to do it back home, why the ... do they have to do it here? Plenty of space everywhere, get lost...



> It's not the end of the world if you need to wait for the next lift.


And I love when folks make a run for the train, like it's the last chopper out of Saigon.


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