# American woman to possible join Indian man (marriage) in Dubai



## dubaibound2008 (May 23, 2008)

Hello,

There is a small possibility that I may join an Indian friend in Dubai. We may possibly get married. I have children from another marriage, and we would have an inter-cultural marriage. 

Would my children and I be well accepted in the American expat community, and in the Indian expat community. My children are Indian. Are there any concerns that I should consider before doing this?

He already is employed there, so what types of paperwork dilemas should I think of? Will his company handle my move to Dubai, and all of my paperwork?

Are there concerns about my children having another father?

Thanks!


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## MichelleAlison (Aug 25, 2007)

Hi and welcome to the forum.

I am sure there is someone on the Dubai forum who can answer your questions.

Good luck with your plans.

Michelle


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## oddball (Aug 1, 2007)

Your chidren will only ever have one father , how they accept your choice of a new husband is a different matter . dependant on thier ages , some dialogue will be needed with them , to assess thier point of view and coresponding feelings , prior to a fresh commitment by yourself . Children have feelings just as much as yourself .


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## oddball (Aug 1, 2007)

p.s. the feelings of the local community are secondary if you love your chidren .


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## MichelleAlison (Aug 25, 2007)

oddball said:


> Your chidren will only ever have one father , how they accept your choice of a new husband is a different matter . dependant on thier ages , some dialogue will be needed with them , to assess thier point of view and coresponding feelings , prior to a fresh commitment by yourself . Children have feelings just as much as yourself .



What you say is correct, but I think the OP is concerned about the local culture and how they perceive families made-up of step-children/parents etc.

From what I have read on this forum, it is difficult to live together unless you are a married couple.

Michelle


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## MichelleAlison (Aug 25, 2007)

oddball said:


> p.s. the feelings of the local community are secondary if you love your chidren .


I am sure the OP has discussed the situation with her children an d that they know who their real father is.


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## cairogal (Aug 11, 2007)

dubaibound2008 said:


> Hello,
> 
> There is a small possibility that I may join an Indian friend in Dubai. We may possibly get married. I have children from another marriage, and we would have an inter-cultural marriage.
> 
> ...


It's really best to marry now. *Most* employers (not all) will offer benefits to the spouse of the employee (medical, annual return ticket, etc.). However, the laws about educational allowances and benefits for children which are not the employee's own are not in your favour. That means that if your potential spouse-to-be can receive educational allowances for k-12 schools (an absolute MUST in the Gulf), your children from a previous marriage would not be entitled to those benefits (a friend of mine is going through this now w/ her step daughter). If your spouse-to-be could receive airline tickets for kids, I don't believe your kids would be eligible (that might be the company's call, though). In other words, all of the responsibility for your children would fall upon you and your job. Tricky...depending on your career. It's my experience that you are better off securing employment for yourself from the US rather than going over, getting married, and then becoming what is referred to as a local hire (someone who takes a salary but absolutely none of the standard benefits like airfare, schooling allowances for the kids, accommodation, etc.). Legally, if you marry the two of you are only entitled to one housing allowance. Best to decide whose contract is stronger upfront.

Have I confused you sufficiently?  Can't comment on the question about how the kids will be perceived, though Dubai has a large Indian expat population.


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## dubaibound2008 (May 23, 2008)

Thanks for your answers. I think some of you have confused what I was asking. I am not concerned about my children and who their father is. 

We just want to know if the expat community will accept us. I don't want to put my children into a situation that would cause them emotional problems if their school friends teased them because of mixed marriage parents.

1. Someone brought up a good point about school cost.... Would my future husbands job pay for schools if we are married? 

I will not come to Dubai without marrying, so everyone rest their minds there! : )

2. I have contacted a couple of places that employ massage therapists (as I am one) so would they be able to provide me schooling for my children?
Would they provide my visa and paper trail, or would my husband need to do that? Health insurance is needed too as well as car.

Housing is already taken care of as my potential husband already lives in Dubai.

3. Finally (and I hope I don't start a riot by asking this) can parents homeschool their children in Dubai, or is there a law that allows for it or disallows it.

Thanks! Enjoying this lovely forum.


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## cairogal (Aug 11, 2007)

*1. Someone brought up a good point about school cost.... Would my future husbands job pay for schools if we are married? *
To the best of my knowledge, no. I believe he has to provide a birth certificate for sponsored children. If he's not their biological father he won't be entitled to schooling. Adoption and step-parenting are tricky things in this part of the world. I'll let parents speak to this one in greater detail.

*2. I have contacted a couple of places that employ massage therapists (as I am one) so would they be able to provide me schooling for my children?*
HIghly unlikely. Jobs in this aspect of the service industry are often filled by single people w/ no dependents. That's not to say that you won't be hired, but to pay for your kids' schooling (at least 40,000 dirhams/annually per child) is not a perk of these sorts of positions.

*Would they provide my visa and paper trail, or would my husband need to do that? Health insurance is needed too as well as car.*
If you secured employment from abroad, most of these places would sponsor you...I'm not sure that they would be too keen to facilitate the children's sponsorship. You'd need to earn a minimum amount of money to sponsor them, too. I don't believe that most massage therapist positions pay enough to meet the min. requirement. Same goes for insurance. Your employer (or your spouse's) should provide a health card for govt. health care or possibly private insurance. I think people in the service industry are most likely offered the government health card, as private insurance costs the employer more money. I can't speak to the cost of the health card, but if I recall, it's not that expensive. This would likely become your expense if you earn enough to sponsor them. 

To be perfectly honest, I think you have a sea of practical things to think about before you decide to go there. I would work out a job first and foremost, find out what they're willing to pay, etc. Schooling for the kids is REALLY expensive. Let's just say that a massage therapist from the US earns 5000 dirhams/month (I think that's on the high side as my husband worked in a high-end health club in Dubai). You could be looking at 6 day work weeks (typical in the private sector for these types of jobs). One child's schooling will run a minimum of 40,000 dirhams/annually for American/British curriculum. If you opted to place them in an Indian school the fees would be less. I suppose it all depends on what sort of education you'd prefer for them (word of advice...avoid Choeuifat Schools). Homeschooling is an option, but others have mentioned on the board that should you later decide to place the kids into a school there, your homeschooling might not be considered. I'll let the parents on the board speak to this.


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## dubaibound2008 (May 23, 2008)

Oh wow, we currently homeschool. We would probably get some placement testing before traveling.
Would this make a difference?


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## sgilli3 (Mar 23, 2008)

We home school our children.

To enter a school here, you need to have not been out of school for more than a few weeks ( I will look it up and get back to you...Im thinking 4 - 6 weeks)
You will also a require a transfer certificate from your last school.

Most schools will also require you to sit placement exams to get into them.

I think to enter school here after homeschooling, you may need to seek advice from the Ministry of Education.

I know for us, we wont ever school them here, and when we return to Oz they can attend school without the need for certificates and entrance exams.


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## cairogal (Aug 11, 2007)

dubaibound2008 said:


> Oh wow, we currently homeschool. We would probably get some placement testing before traveling.
> Would this make a difference?



I'll let some parents on the board comment on this.

I talked to my husband a bit more about massage therapy positions. He said a highly experienced American might take in a base salary of 4000 dirhams/month at the some of the nicer clubs/spas around town. On top of that is 20% commission of sales made. He suggested that if you got that 4000 dirham base, worked VERY hard (def. count on 6 days/week 48 hours), you might bring in 6000-7000 dirhams per month. He reinforced the idea that these packages are pretty much fixed. They won't provide any benefits for kids.


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## dubaibound2008 (May 23, 2008)

Does your husband work at the Carlton-Ritz?
What about working for a physio-therapy office?
They might pay more?

Thanks,


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## Iron Horse (Apr 10, 2008)

Americans are Americans, so you'll find that they accept you and some don't. Expect the kids to be teased a bit, as that is what kids do to each other. Just anticipate how to address it and don't be one of those overprotective "helicopter" type parents these days.


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## cairogal (Aug 11, 2007)

dubaibound2008 said:


> Does your husband work at the Carlton-Ritz?
> What about working for a physio-therapy office?
> They might pay more?
> 
> Thanks,


No, he used to work at Wafi for the Pharaoh's Club. He did indicate working in physio-therapy would likely pay more, but neither of us know the specifics. Good luck!


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## ratfan (May 21, 2008)

Hi, I can't help with the more legal side of your dilema's, but with regards to your kids being accepted, then it's up to you how you choose to live your life here. Some communities pretty much stick together and NEVER mix outside of their own, even though Dubai is sold as a cosmopolitan city! However, things are changing and poeple are starting to mix a bit more. As for kids from a mixed-marriage, my kids are mixed (Engish/Arab) and most of their friends are mixed, this is deffinately one thing thats increased in the gulf, so don't worry about your kids feeling left out. My sons friends are from all over the world although English is their first language.


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## Geordie Armani (Jan 24, 2008)

small world, I used to work at Wafi


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## nomy (Jun 20, 2008)

hi dubaihound,

my name is nomy looking for friends in dubai..im from holland 29 years old and a teacher. my boyfriend is working in dubai so thats why iam sometimes in dubai and sometimes in holland i love holland its my country so iam going back and ... how are things now with you and your dubaihound?
take care!


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