# Dating or Marriage?



## markinsydney

I would like to know what other men have found if they have had experience just wanting to date a Thai woman rather than having a view to marriage?
Are some of them okay with that or do they all have an agenda for something more?
How is it different to dating a western woman?
Thanks for your time : )


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## BKK_James

Honestly Thai women [to me] don't seem any different than Western women. Some really want to get married ASAP, while others don't. What really makes the difference [as with Western women] is their age. The older they are [up to a point], the more important marriage becomes. [And all the associated things like kids etc]. After 30 their biological clock will be ticking loudly...


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## windknot1

I think a lot of it depends on what part of Thailand you are living. The North, for example, is very much more traditional than BKK or the large tourist areas, like Phuket or Pattaya. You could date a Thai lady in (say) Chiang Mai, but if things go well, don't expect to "shack up" together, until after marriage. Not saying it can't happen, but......On more than one occasion, I have been admonished for innocently sending a "kiss good-bye" in an e-mail to a Thai lady from the north

There also seems to be a social stigma in Thailand, where single women are concerned. It's a bad thing to not have a husband. So some Thai women are eager to get married ASAP. I think this is more true in the older women.....don't know how old you are.

Infidelity is rampant in Thailand.....and now the women are getting in on the scene, but not nearly as bad as the men. A great majority of the single (divorced) women I have met, are so because their husbands cheated on them, openly and repeatedly. So if you go out to a 7-11 for some beer and it takes a little longer than your girlfriend thinks it should,.....then don't be surprised if she thinks you were at least talking to another girl. This is a bit of an extreme, but it is something that I don't like, because I am completely monogamous and would not cheat on my girlfriend/wife, but I don't like the suspicion/jealousy (whatever you want to call it) should I have to speak to another person of the female persuasion.

No matter what, you're going to start out dating anyway, so you can discuss the situation among yourselves. Other than that, as BKKJames has said, dating is much the same in Thailand as it is in the West. I think Thai women are more easily pleased than Western women....dinner and a movie are fine, as is a weekly trip to a night market. You got to play it by ear.


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## markinsydney

Thanks for these replies
I hadn't though about the differences in geographical areas of Thailand but I guess that's true of most countries.
I have been considering The Philippines but i'm leaning more towards Thailand now.
It's interesting regarding the cultural differences but I guess they are less now than years ago as we become more of a "Global Village"


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## Thai Bigfoot

In any western country. if a woman had to choose between identical twins, one with wealth, the other not so much, she'll always take the one with wealth. Money is always a determining factor. Thailand is really no different. But ...
In Thailand, it's all about what you can provide to her Thai family - grand parents, parents, children, siblings, etc. She will take good care of you as long as you take good care of them. This can become quite expensive. It's not unusual for the western husband/boyfriend to pay β20k-100k per month to her. 
It's really no different in western women in western countries. But, western women are more likely to cheat because there's a large pool of potential replacements. The pool is much smaller, so as long as you pay, and the amount increases periodically, she'll probably be a good, faithful partner.
WARNING: If you buy any property - land, house, or building - your loving partner will own 51% by Thai law. That means she can change the locks and kick you out at any time. If it's valuable, it could be motivation to dump you and find another o start he process over again. Remember, her Thai family always, always, comes first. You come second only because you are a generous ATM.


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## markinsydney

Thai Big Foot:

Wow, that's a big disincentive to anyone thinking of a Thai woman.

So with that in mind what would be the best way to have any kind of relationships with Thai women as what you say sounds very black and white , is there some middle ground such as more casual dating without the long term relationship ATM option?


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## Thai Bigfoot

markinsydney said:


> Thai Big Foot:
> 
> Wow, that's a big disincentive to anyone thinking of a Thai woman.
> 
> So with that in mind what would be the best way to have any kind of relationships with Thai women as what you say sounds very black and white , is there some middle ground such as more casual dating without the long term relationship ATM option?


Thai women are really no different than western women. They want financial security in any relationship. Thais are just more honest about it.

Unfortunately, men (myself included!) are slower learners who aren't very bright. I've had two Thai girl friends. Each lasted almost a year. 

The first, in 2011, started great. I paid he β15,000 per month. After 6 months, she started wanting more. It went up to β20k. That was my maximum. After 4 more months, she started hanging out with her friends at Beer Bars and coming home after 2am. She was looking for a replacement.

The second, in 2015, also started great. I paid her β12k. Again, after six months, things deteriorated. While she didn't go out, she stop providing me with the benefits I wanted - cleaning, cooking, therapykiss. Wanted more money. I knew where this was headed so we split.

Certainly, there are some relationships that aren't all about the money. But, for almost all it is the money.

Still fun while it lasts, though!


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## markinsydney

Thai Big Foot:

I am amazed by what you say as I have never heard of anything that's so organised as that ,it's more like a job than a relationship ,the way we think of relationships in the west.
So i'm assuming this is a typical relationship? is this true for the traditional relationship with the locals or just the foreigners I wonder?


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## XDoodlebugger

markinsydney said:


> Thai Big Foot:
> 
> Wow, that's a big disincentive to anyone thinking of a Thai woman.
> 
> So with that in mind what would be the best way to have any kind of relationships with Thai women as what you say sounds very black and white , is there some middle ground such as more casual dating without the long term relationship ATM option?


In my opinion Big Foot was spot on with that observation and a big reason I have a finance' again is because all of her parents and grandparents are dead and for 3 years I've never seen her give money to the brothers and sisters (they are older and established). 

Of course there are exceptions to the rules, a friends dates a girl who works at a local telecom provider. He doesn't support her but still gave her money for a condo.


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## Thai Bigfoot

markinsydney said:


> Thai Big Foot:
> 
> I am amazed by what you say as I have never heard of anything that's so organised as that ,it's more like a job than a relationship ,the way we think of relationships in the west.
> So i'm assuming this is a typical relationship? is this true for the traditional relationship with the locals or just the foreigners I wonder?


Yes, this is the reality of a farang man/Thai woman in maybe 95% of the cases. XDoodle****** is going about the best way possible. He mentions how his friend doesn't support his girlfriend, either. But, buying her a condo that could easily run in excess of β500,000 sure as hell supports him. Plus, if they live together, I suspect he pays all the expenses.

Thai girls usually marry a Thai man the first time when they're under 25. they have a kid or two with him. She's under family pressure to get married and have kids. It usually goes sour when the Thai man starts drinking heavily, maybe beats her or finds a girlfriend. He doesn't make enough money to support their family, let alone give money to his parents or in-laws. Supporting everyone else is expected. The wife gets tired of the abuse, neglect, adultery and abject poverty and leaves taking the children. She then goes looking for a farang/ATM, leaving her kids with her relatives. Many times, the husband leaves because he's tired of her nagging him about everything, and, he probably has a younger girlfriend.

These Thai divorcee's will never marry a Thai man again. Now, they're in it for the money.

These women will take wonderful care of their farang as long as he meets her financial expectation. They will take better care of him than, practically, any western woman would. Thai women are raised to take care of their man. Western women are raised to believe the man has to take care of her. Money plays a huge part for both. The Thais are just more honest about it.

We men aren't too bright when it comes to love. We're perfect for the Thai woman because they do treat us at a level we've never experienced. So we men fall in love. But, for her, it's all about the money. As long as she gets enough, she will "love" you.

Like all of us, you'll fall in love. When warned, you'll tell your friends "She's not like all the others. She's different. She's wonderful." No she isn't, Mark.

Good luck.


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## markinsydney

Thanks for all the well considered responses here.

I really didn't have any idea about this culture before and it's good to get an education ahead of time as I agree "Love is blind" as the old saying goes and we're prone to thinking that our situation is unique when it's not.

I guess the reason many western men end up doing that is because they don't really know what's going on.

So I would imagine that Philippino women are much the same?

With that in mind then maybe the best way forward would be to retire there but not get into a relationship with a local woman and with that in mind it would be good to know which areas have the largest expat communities and what is the best way to connect with and make friends and network with other expats before going and after arriving either in Thailand or Philippines?

Thanks


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## Thai Bigfoot

I really didn't have any idea about this culture before and it's good to get an education ahead of time as I agree "Love is blind" as the old saying goes and we're prone to thinking that our situation is unique when it's not.

I guess the reason many western men end up doing that is because they don't really know what's going on.

So I would imagine that Philippino women are much the same?

With that in mind then maybe the best way forward would be to retire there but not get into a relationship with a local woman and with that in mind it would be good to know which areas have the largest expat communities and what is the best way to connect with and make friends and network with other expats before going and after arriving either in Thailand or Philippines?

Thanks[/QUOTE]

I have no workable knowledge about Filipino women. I suspect you'll get a response from the moderator who, I think, lives there. 

Many English speaking expats in Bangkok (huge, crowded), Chang Mai (no beach), Phuket and Pattaya (both have everything). It’s easy to meet them. Just go to the places they congregate at. Here’s another note of caution, though. 

I came here at 61 to retire because I wanted to have an adventure (which is certainly the case) and live a good life at much less cost. What I’ve learned is that people who come to live here for a long time aren’t what they seem. Retired or not, they’re here because they’re leaving their home country because of problems there. Things such as bad marriages/divorces, bad business or financial situations, or even running from local authorities. 

My first friend here was a neighbor who was a retired cop from Australia. Nice, quiet, not crazy, and my age. I found out that he was involved in the largest child porn case, ever, in Australia. He was the inside police guy for a major child porn ring! 

Most long term residents stretch the truth of the background. Heck, if things were so good at home, why leave? Most guys who legitimately retire here are fine. Just be careful.

English is the 3rd language here after Issan Thai up north and Bangkok Thai around Bangkok. They aren’t the same. A language school will teach Bangkok Thai. You’ll learn Issan Thai from those you associate with. Issan ladies go to expat heavy areas because there’s little chance of meeting a farang/ATM or make a reasonable living in Issan, which is the rural area north of Bangkok. Since most bar girls are from Issan, you’ll learn from them.

I didn't mean to sour you on a relationship. They are fun! It's wonderful, as an old guy, to be able to have a younger, beautiful woman at your side. That would never happen in a western country without costing a whole lot more. 

My warning is about going in with your eyes open. Just don't think with the wrong head and allow yourself to get ripped off.

My years have been great here. While there are some downs, there are many more ups. Don’t be naïve.


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## markinsydney

Thai Bigfoot:

That's true any group of people [Expats] will have common traits generally speaking so I hadn't thought of that angle for this group. They are certainly more adventurous,that's true.

That's true , you wouldn't stand much of a chance of meeting someone 20 years younger in your own country unless you had something special to offer.

I was speaking to a Thai friend today and she said that 99% of women there are interested in the money angle from a westerner but said that she was in the 1% that are not like that ,she seems really genuine!


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## markinsydney

Thai Bigfoot:

That's true any group of people [Expats] will have common traits generally speaking so I hadn't thought of that angle for this group. They are certainly more adventurous,that's true.

That's true , you wouldn't stand much of a chance of meeting someone 20 years younger in your own country unless you had something special to offer.

I was speaking to a Thai friend today and she said that 99% of women there are interested in the money angle from a westerner but said that she was in the 1% that are not like that ,she seems really genuine!


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## Thai Bigfoot

markinsydney said:


> Thai Bigfoot:
> 
> That's true any group of people [Expats] will have common traits generally speaking so I hadn't thought of that angle for this group. They are certainly more adventurous,that's true.
> 
> That's true , you wouldn't stand much of a chance of meeting someone 20 years younger in your own country unless you had something special to offer.
> 
> I was speaking to a Thai friend today and she said that 99% of women there are interested in the money angle from a westerner but said that she was in the 1% that are not like that ,she seems really genuine!


Careful Mark.
Every western who has a Thai wife/girlfriend tells their friends that "she's different from all the others."
Yes, sure she is.


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## markinsydney

She's just a friend in Australia so it's no big deal.

I'm surprised at how many Americans are in Thailand as you guys have a lot of closer options with Central America and The Caribbean so that's a good recommendation for Thailand!


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## Thai Bigfoot

The Caribbean is expensive. Drug culture in Central America.


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## XDoodlebugger

markinsydney said:


> She's just a friend in Australia so it's no big deal.
> 
> I'm surprised at how many Americans are in Thailand as you guys have a lot of closer options with Central America and The Caribbean so that's a good recommendation for Thailand!


I came to Thailand the first time in 1984 and fell in love with it, I've since traveled in Argentina, Brazil, Columbia, Peru and Panama as well as Mexico and the Caribbean. There is no other place on earth like Thailand in my opinion. Philippines (and cheaper but my last visit has been a while) can be fun but never really felt as safe there as I do in Thailand.


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## Sodayen

Hi I am Thai girl who see this topic by accidentally search...
It's interesting question and also interesting replies...
Because it's public forum so let me tell my opinion...

People in every society/every country are always different.

I am not sure where is who replied you meet their girlfriends..but in my social..rarely have the girls are as they said.

But I don't refuse that still have many some thai girls need financial supports....

If the girl, who you would like to be in relationships with. She is educated and have a fair job. I think she should be able to take good care her family and herself...as generally lifestyle in the world. 
(don't get me wrong I don't mean that who is not educated can not support)


Let's me tell My case,

I was in relationship with AMERICAN GUY for 2 years. He is my first boyfriend. (I knew him when I was 27 years old and he was 38 years old) now I am 30.

I am educated and I have a job as employee.

But my parent and relatives never asked me for financial support.

And I never asked him for money also because I can take care myself, also I bought 1 bedroom condominium for my living from my money(actually I should say bank's money from loan ? )

But after 1 year that we were in relationship...he was getting asked me for money 
Start from borrow me for rental room fee, borrow me the airplane ticket..yes I give him because I trust boyfriend and girlfriend should help each other 

But after that...about 1 and half year....he getting ask me for big amounts...3 million bath which he said he need them for build our future...

that time my instincts turn on...I planned to give him a part of that amount if he can give me the plan of it..the plan which I must agree...but he give me nothing.

So i choose to believe my instinct by don't give him the money as he want. And tell him I have no money.

After that we always have nonsense problems...

And then we separated because he said that I don't want to build the future with him (but I guess because I don't give money big amounts) and I cheated on him(which I don't) 
I break up despite I am still love him so far because I am not sure how about he.


But the money that he got from me is about 100,000 THB

So I think, no matter Thai or farang or any nationality else

If you would like to marrywith someone. Believe in your instincts that she love you not your money...except you are acceptable.

PS today is his birthday so he is 41 years old now. I don't know how he are because we do not contact anymore.


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## Asian Spirit

Sodayen said:


> Hi I am Thai girl who see this topic by accidentally search...
> It's interesting question and also interesting replies...
> Because it's public forum so let me tell my opinion...
> 
> People in every society/every country are always different.
> 
> I am not sure where is who replied you meet their girlfriends..but in my social..rarely have the girls are as they said.
> 
> But I don't refuse that still have many some thai girls need financial supports....
> 
> If the girl, who you would like to be in relationships with. She is educated and have a fair job. I think she should be able to take good care her family and herself...as generally lifestyle in the world.
> (don't get me wrong I don't mean that who is not educated can not support)
> 
> 
> Let's me tell My case,
> 
> I was in relationship with AMERICAN GUY for 2 years. He is my first boyfriend. (I knew him when I was 27 years old and he was 38 years old) now I am 30.
> 
> I am educated and I have a job as employee.
> 
> But my parent and relatives never asked me for financial support.
> 
> And I never asked him for money also because I can take care myself, also I bought 1 bedroom condominium for my living from my money(actually I should say bank's money from loan ? )
> 
> But after 1 year that we were in relationship...he was getting asked me for money
> Start from borrow me for rental room fee, borrow me the airplane ticket..yes I give him because I trust boyfriend and girlfriend should help each other
> 
> But after that...about 1 and half year....he getting ask me for big amounts...3 million bath which he said he need them for build our future...
> 
> that time my instincts turn on...I planned to give him a part of that amount if he can give me the plan of it..the plan which I must agree...but he give me nothing.
> 
> So i choose to believe my instinct by don't give him the money as he want. And tell him I have no money.
> 
> After that we always have nonsense problems...
> 
> And then we separated because he said that I don't want to build the future with him (but I guess because I don't give money big amounts) and I cheated on him(which I don't)
> I break up despite I am still love him so far because I am not sure how about he.
> 
> 
> But the money that he got from me is about 100,000 THB
> 
> So I think, no matter Thai or farang or any nationality else
> 
> If you would like to marrywith someone. Believe in your instincts that she love you not your money...except you are acceptable.
> 
> PS today is his birthday so he is 41 years old now. I don't know how he are because we do not contact anymore.


Greetings Sodayen and welcome to the forum.

Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts. My personal opinion is that marriage is always the best choice and has the best chance for a couple to stay together for life. Even so, there is always risks in trying to make the relationship work or last.

From what you are saying you thought you were making a choice for a companion and found out you were being badly used. Terrible thing because marriage does require total trust and commitment. At the same time, it is better that you found out before you got married than afterwards where children may have been involved and caught in the middle.

Finding the right person and building a relationship that leads to marriage is difficult to begin with and much more so when it is a long-distance romance and a foreign national from a different culture as well. Although it hurts terribly for a time, this failed relationship serves a life lesson of the type of person that you do not want for a husband.
Don't give up on life and love. Use what you have learned wisely and when ready eventually try again and you will find the right one for you.



Very Best In Life To You and keep us posted on how things are going.



Regards

Asian Spirit


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## Sodayen

Asian Spirit said:


> Greetings Sodayen and welcome to the forum.
> 
> Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts. My personal opinion is that marriage is always the best choice and has the best chance for a couple to stay together for life. Even so, there is always risks in trying to make the relationship work or last.
> 
> From what you are saying you thought you were making a choice for a companion and found out you were being badly used. Terrible thing because marriage does require total trust and commitment. At the same time, it is better that you found out before you got married than afterwards where children may have been involved and caught in the middle.
> 
> Finding the right person and building a relationship that leads to marriage is difficult to begin with and much more so when it is a long-distance romance and a foreign national from a different culture as well. Although it hurts terribly for a time, this failed relationship serves a life lesson of the type of person that you do not want for a husband.
> Don't give up on life and love. Use what you have learned wisely and when ready eventually try again and you will find the right one for you.
> 
> 
> 
> Very Best In Life To You and keep us posted on how things are going.
> 
> 
> 
> Regards
> 
> Asian Spirit



Thank you for greeting.

Totally agree I am lucky to realize before marriage.

I always said I am lucky girl hahahah 


However, thank him for coming in my life. I can speak english better (before my english is very poor) 

and I know the special feeling that I can say it's love (even maybe it is from my side only).

^____^


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## Thai Bigfoot

Sodayen. Sorry to hear your story.
You are one of the very few Thai women who have been used by the farang.
Good luck.


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## XDoodlebugger

Sodayen said:


> Hi I am Thai girl who see this topic by accidentally search...
> It's interesting question and also interesting replies...
> Because it's public forum so let me tell my opinion...
> 
> People in every society/every country are always different.
> 
> I am not sure where is who replied you meet their girlfriends..but in my social..rarely have the girls are as they said.
> 
> But I don't refuse that still have many some thai girls need financial supports....
> 
> If the girl, who you would like to be in relationships with. She is educated and have a fair job. I think she should be able to take good care her family and herself...as generally lifestyle in the world.
> (don't get me wrong I don't mean that who is not educated can not support)
> 
> 
> Let's me tell My case,
> 
> I was in relationship with AMERICAN GUY for 2 years. He is my first boyfriend. (I knew him when I was 27 years old and he was 38 years old) now I am 30.
> 
> I am educated and I have a job as employee.
> 
> But my parent and relatives never asked me for financial support.
> 
> And I never asked him for money also because I can take care myself, also I bought 1 bedroom condominium for my living from my money(actually I should say bank's money from loan ? )
> 
> But after 1 year that we were in relationship...he was getting asked me for money
> Start from borrow me for rental room fee, borrow me the airplane ticket..yes I give him because I trust boyfriend and girlfriend should help each other
> 
> But after that...about 1 and half year....he getting ask me for big amounts...3 million bath which he said he need them for build our future...
> 
> that time my instincts turn on...I planned to give him a part of that amount if he can give me the plan of it..the plan which I must agree...but he give me nothing.
> 
> So i choose to believe my instinct by don't give him the money as he want. And tell him I have no money.
> 
> After that we always have nonsense problems...
> 
> And then we separated because he said that I don't want to build the future with him (but I guess because I don't give money big amounts) and I cheated on him(which I don't)
> I break up despite I am still love him so far because I am not sure how about he.
> 
> 
> But the money that he got from me is about 100,000 THB
> 
> So I think, no matter Thai or farang or any nationality else
> 
> If you would like to marrywith someone. Believe in your instincts that she love you not your money...except you are acceptable.
> 
> PS today is his birthday so he is 41 years old now. I don't know how he are because we do not contact anymore.


Thank you for your post, and I believe you are lucky to be away from him.


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## Sodayen

I have one question...how can I change my avatar?



Thai Bigfoot said:


> Sodayen. Sorry to hear your story.
> You are one of the very few Thai women who have been used by the farang.
> Good luck.


Thank you for good luck, I hope too. ^___^

Maybe you don?t heard this situation much because they don?t tell their stories on internet in english as me and a very few girls.

By the ways, I don?t think i have been used by him. (Maybe I am wrong and you are right) 

But I think because he have financial problems so he need them. But I have not not enough to support him and he doesn?t tell me his problems frankly. If he told we can find the solution.

Or I am not the right one for him so he can not share his pain...it?s one of main points that I let him go.

Possibly, same the girls who you have met. They have financial problems.


And when look at the currency exchange, little money in $ or GBP or EUR or blah blah, change to THB is big amount. So normal people in other countries can be the quite rich people in Thailand.

it?s like my case but change me to the man and change he to the girl.
When the man see his woman/gf have problems and worried something (including don?t want they work too hard) so want to help them, do you agree?

However I don?t refuse some bad guys look at this point and use it for their benefits. So your instincts can tell you what?s kind of people they are.




XDoodle****** said:


> Thank you for your post, and I believe you are lucky to be away from him.


Hahaha thank you ka.

But don?t forget I only tell you only bad side of him but people always have good side also...him too.


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## sunandsands

It really depends. Some Thai women want to settle down already, others just wanted to have fun. Generally speaking, they're awesome. It's just a matter of your readiness to take the relationship to the next level. Anyhow, the above suggestions will surely help you with your long term plans.


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## EnglishComputerman

I could write a book on this subject. Been visiting for 50 years, living here for 20 years. Married to a wonderful Thai lady for 10 years. Lots of bad experiences.
My advice, use a dating agency such as <Snip> When a female wants money or gold remember that the minimum wage here is THB 300 per day.
Most Thai ladies will take you for an idiot millionaire, but there are a few good ones left. Do not assume that they are single or that they do not have a child living in another province with her family regardless of what they may tell you.


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## Thai Bigfoot

I agree with what you say. A couple additional suggestions.

If you come here to find a wife, fine. But, go to the northern, non-tourist provinces. By doing so, you can learn the real conditions of her life.
If she's from a northern province, and you meet her in Bangkok, Phuket, or Chang Mai, she probably relocated to find a better life. This many times, includes prostitution and hustling falangs out of their ATM cards.


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## Mathieularoche

Thai Bigfoot is describing an extreme situation. According to me, you should not generalize what you have experienced. I have a lot of friends who are dating Thai girls, I've been too,.... never "paid" anyone. This looks like a job, not even a relationship. 

90% of farang/thai relationships...???? absolutely not... Or maybe 90% of farang/thai relationships in which the farang decides to pay for it. Paying for love is like paying for a HE massage, this is not a relationship huh. lol


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## Thai Bigfoot

Mathieularoche said:


> Thai Bigfoot is describing an extreme situation. According to me, you should not generalize what you have experienced. I have a lot of friends who are dating Thai girls, I've been too,.... never "paid" anyone. This looks like a job, not even a relationship.
> 
> 90% of farang/thai relationships...???? absolutely not... Or maybe 90% of farang/thai relationships in which the farang decides to pay for it. Paying for love is like paying for a HE massage, this is not a relationship huh. lol


I'll stick with my original precautionary warning: "If she's from a northern province, and you meet her in Bangkok, Phuket, or Chang Mai, she probably relocated to find a better life. This many times, includes prostitution and hustling falangs out of their ATM cards."

Think about it. She relocates to find a better life. That life involves a farang and his perceived wealth, especially if he's older than 40. This will provide her and her family (children and all relatives) a source of money.

She will be a great companion as long as you pay. If you stop, or she finds a better provider, you will be history. Mathieu, it's the way it is in, at least, 90% of the relationships where she's from a northern province, and you meet her in Bangkok, Phuket, or Chang Mai, she probably relocated to find a better life.


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## JRB__NW

I think a lot of it has to do with the age. If one is older and dating a significantly younger woman, in most cases she is looking for financial security, as well as maturity. Whatever the arrangement is, it hopefully works, but financial expectations are usually involved. That's fine, at least one can still have a beautiful younger woman at the age of 60. The problem that always arises from that is what are her true feelings at the end of the day? It's hard to really know. 

My Filipina wanted a relationship, and is more than happy to live in a nipa hut and have a simple life, but she knows I can't do it, haha so she never has to prove it up. She also was in her 30's, with a kid, which makes stability even more important and her less likely to fly away on a whim. I'm sure it is the same with Thai women. If you're 30 years older it is likely ALL about the money.


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## Thai Bigfoot

markinsydney said:


> She's just a friend in Australia so it's no big deal.
> 
> I'm surprised at how many Americans are in Thailand as you guys have a lot of closer options with Central America and The Caribbean so that's a good recommendation for Thailand!


The U.S. Embassy says there are 100,000 Americans, tourists and expats, in Thailand at one time.

They also said that they average one death a day!


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## XDoodlebugger

Thought I would post my ongoing experience getting married.

I've decided to get married to my girlfriend of nearly 5 years and as she is Thai we decided to do this in Thailand.

Background, I'm a US citizen, divorced from a Thai lady in 1994 and living in Dubai, she is Thai divorced for at least 7 years (never asked exact dates) spending most of her time on a tourist visa in Dubai.

Step 1 - went to the US Embassy and asked for the form to certify I'm eligible for marriage (divorced). They gave me the form, paid $50 for notarization and off we went to the consular offices to get this document and her papers stamped. Got to the consular section and was told I had the wrong form and that I also needed a copy of my passport certified also. My mistake, I thought I knew what I was doing. 

So there are no more appointments at the US Embassy until Wednesday the next week. Made that appointment and went back with the printed correct form this time and a copy of my passport to certify. Back to the consular offices where we managed to get the translation done and submitted the paperwork, it was ready on Friday too late to go to the Ampour to be married and I leave the next day.

I'm heading back to get married in a couple of weeks so the future wife went to the Ampour to make an appointment, there she was told she would need to prove that I wasn't still married. There is some paperwork issue with my original marriage, it's not in the system and I was divorced in the USA. So right now it looks like I need to go to the original Ampour where I was married and straighten that out before I can pull the trigger. 

fun and games!


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## XDoodlebugger

*Update*

The issue with my previous divorce/marriage was that my wife divorced me in Thailand without my knowledge and used my middle initial "S" on the form instead of my full middle name which is "Stephen". The district office where this happened insisted I needed proof that both "S" and "Stephen" are in fact the same guy so off I went to the US Embassy (again) to get a declaration notarized once more so they would declare me eligible to get married. After getting the document it was back to the consular office in Chaeng Wattana to get it translated and certified which takes two days. 

After we picked up that document we went to a different district office from where I was divorced/married bright and early the next day to get married. Turns out this office didn't need the paperwork I just spend 3 days getting but the other office had not updated their computer so we needed to wait on them to do that (unrelated to the name thing). We needed a family witness to be married as well as another witness who can be a friend, we asked her uncle to come and he obliged. That day though he happens to mention he had lost his ID, lucky for us he was able to get a new one that day at the same office but of course this was just another delay. All in it took us 5 hours at the district office but we did finally get married.


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