# How long did it take before you felt like a visitor in the UK ?



## Maureen47 (Mar 27, 2014)

My OH came back from 2-3 weeks in the UK just a few days ago and after almost a year here he said he felt like a visitor in the UK. i havent been back yet but I am going for a week in October , he wasnt going to say anything to me and was waiting to see what I said on my return. Anyway he mentioned it and I wondered if any of you guys who has been here some time had experienced this. I know there are some things I want to do in the UK , shopping obviously ! . I dont want to visit where I used to walk my dogs as I lost one of my beloved hounds when we had only been here a few months and dont want the memories flooding back. OH did this and regretted it. So back to the question , has it really hit us now we dont live in the UK and did anyone else experience this in a postive or a negative way , for my OH he was glad to be back in Spain ;-)


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## Lynn R (Feb 21, 2014)

I wouldn't say I feel like a visitor when I go back to the UK (which I do twice a year), although each time I find that something has changed, particularly in Manchester city centre where I worked for 30 years. But neither do I feel as though I am going home - that feeling is what I get from the day before I set off back to Spain!

Right from the time we bought our Spanish house initially as a holiday home, I felt a much stronger pull to be there than I ever did to my English one. Every time we had to leave Spain to go back to the UK and work (and the work might well have had something to do with it) I used to be in tears.


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## The Skipper (Nov 26, 2014)

Maureen47 said:


> My OH came back from 2-3 weeks in the UK just a few days ago and after almost a year here he said he felt like a visitor in the UK. i havent been back yet but I am going for a week in October , he wasnt going to say anything to me and was waiting to see what I said on my return. Anyway he mentioned it and I wondered if any of you guys who has been here some time had experienced this. I know there are some things I want to do in the UK , shopping obviously ! . I dont want to visit where I used to walk my dogs as I lost one of my beloved hounds when we had only been here a few months and dont want the memories flooding back. OH did this and regretted it. So back to the question , has it really hit us now we dont live in the UK and did anyone else experience this in a postive or a negative way , for my OH he was glad to be back in Spain ;-)


I know the feeling! The most frightening thing for me going back to the UK is driving on the wrong side of the road. I find it very hard to adapt which is strange because, when I lived in the UK and used to drive in Europe on holiday, it didn't bother me. Perhaps it's an age thing! I also find myself constantly saying "gracias" when somebody holds a door open for me or provides a service, which can be a little embarrassing!


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## tebo53 (Sep 18, 2014)

Maureen47 said:


> My OH came back from 2-3 weeks in the UK just a few days ago and after almost a year here he said he felt like a visitor in the UK. i havent been back yet but I am going for a week in October , he wasnt going to say anything to me and was waiting to see what I said on my return. Anyway he mentioned it and I wondered if any of you guys who has been here some time had experienced this. I know there are some things I want to do in the UK , shopping obviously ! . I dont want to visit where I used to walk my dogs as I lost one of my beloved hounds when we had only been here a few months and dont want the memories flooding back. OH did this and regretted it. So back to the question , has it really hit us now we dont live in the UK and did anyone else experience this in a postive or a negative way , for my OH he was glad to be back in Spain ;-)


We go back to the UK to see our son and the OH, like yourself, enjoys the shopping trips. We don't visit the town where we used to live because we couldn't wait to leave the place and emigrate to Spain. 

We both enjoy seeing our son but after a couple of days we are both ready for coming back 'home' 

Since leaving the UK we realise what an expensive place it is and how much litter there is everywhere. 

Steve


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

tebo53 said:


> We go back to the UK to see our son and the OH, like yourself, enjoys the shopping trips. We don't visit the town where we used to live because we couldn't wait to leave the place and emigrate to Spain.
> 
> We both enjoy seeing our son but after a couple of days we are both ready for coming back 'home'
> 
> ...


Thats how I used to feel.

We've been back in the UK now for 4 years and although I dont feel like a visitor, I dont feel comfortable here

Jo xxx


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Maureen47 said:


> My OH came back from 2-3 weeks in the UK just a few days ago and after almost a year here he said he felt like a visitor in the UK. i havent been back yet but I am going for a week in October , he wasnt going to say anything to me and was waiting to see what I said on my return. Anyway he mentioned it and I wondered if any of you guys who has been here some time had experienced this. I know there are some things I want to do in the UK , shopping obviously ! . I dont want to visit where I used to walk my dogs as I lost one of my beloved hounds when we had only been here a few months and dont want the memories flooding back. OH did this and regretted it. So back to the question , has it really hit us now we dont live in the UK and did anyone else experience this in a postive or a negative way , for my OH he was glad to be back in Spain ;-)


I feel more like Lynn; not a visitor exactly, but it's not my home, but then I might feel like that in any city that I'm not familiar with...
I normally go to the UK with my daughter and husband and they _*are*_ visitors. I have much more background knowledge and understanding of course of what's going on then they do, and more language skills too!
I was very happy to leave and wouldn't go back as much as I do if it weren't for family commitments


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

My very first trip back about 5 or 6 months after moving here, I visited my parents in the town where I grew up. I didn't exactly feel like a visitor, but it didn't feel like _home_

Home was already Jávea. My last (& likely final) trip back was to a different part of the country, though to a town I know well. I, & my daughters, definitely felt like visitors - & even like foreigners to some extent. 

I'll never forget the look on the cab driver's face when my daughter spoke to him in Spanish - nor that of the supermarket assistant when my other daughter did the same. It just doesn't come naturally to them to speak English except with me.

They've both been back a couple of times since. Definitely as visitors - or you could even say tourists.


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

jojo said:


> Thats how I used to feel.
> 
> We've been back in the UK now for 4 years and although I dont feel like a visitor, *I dont feel comfortable here*
> 
> Jo xxx


or do you mean you DO feel comfortable there?


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

We went back for a few days after being here for 9 months and we definitely didn't feel as though we belonged there any more. If we had really been going there as visitors, we would have been horrified to see how the town in which we had lived for 18 years, had changed in that short while.


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## Isobella (Oct 16, 2014)

I have lived in a few other countries and I think _home_ is where your stuff is and if you are happy there.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Isobella said:


> I have lived in a few other countries and I think _home_ is where your stuff is and if you are happy there.


Isn't it where your heart is?


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Isn't it where your heart is?


It certainly is for me  

I don't do 'stuff' any more - & my daughters are very much of the same mind (thankfully)


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## jennyx (Sep 13, 2016)

I rent my UK house out so when I return I check on it but as someone else lives there now it doesn't seem like home. This was on my first return after only a few months. Malaga is starting to feel like home now (7 months roughly)!


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## Maureen47 (Mar 27, 2014)

Well I have had my week in the UK , my first visit in almost 12months of moving to Spain. I have to say I enjoyed it but that was more seeing my son and daughter and friends. It was busy and flew past as I tried to fit so much in but was productive. I sorted out the last of our stuff that I didnt manage to fit in when we moved and happy to say I am getting a third of it to Spain and the rest went to the Charity shop , family and friends. I got a few of my favourite things foodwise to bring back as treats and the haggis for our Burns night in January. I got a few things for me , I love TK Maxx and got some really nice things that are a lot more expensive in Spain for the quality. I ate much more that I should have , fish and chips, curry , chinese, pub meals, cakes and Greggs sausage rolls ! I was glad to come back to Chella as I found the UK too busy and the traffic awful ! The only way I can describe my experience is that some of the places I went to hadnt changed at all and it felt a bit like groundhog day , I missed the blue skies of Spain but had really good weather for the time of year in the UK. The trip has made me realise we made the right decision on our Spanish adventure and quality of life for us at least is better here. I wish my children lived here too but they are adults and making thier own way in life and technology these days allows us to keep in close contact daily. I dont feel a need to go back other than to see my children and I guess thats positive ;-)


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## Relyat (Sep 29, 2013)

I know exactly how you feel..............................except for the Greggs sausage rolls !!!


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## baldilocks (Mar 7, 2010)

We went back after only 10 months in Spain and it felt like an alien world. We saw a few people we felt we ought to, dis some shopping and couldn't get back to Spain fast enough and apart from going back for my mother's funeral and to sort out her stuff, we haven't been back since nor do we have any intentions to do so, ever.


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## VFR (Dec 23, 2009)

Maureen47 said:


> Well I have had my week in the UK , my first visit in almost 12months of moving to Spain. I have to say I enjoyed it but that was more seeing my son and daughter and friends. It was busy and flew past as I tried to fit so much in but was productive. I sorted out the last of our stuff that I didnt manage to fit in when we moved and happy to say I am getting a third of it to Spain and the rest went to the Charity shop , family and friends. I got a few of my favourite things foodwise to bring back as treats and the haggis for our Burns night in January. I got a few things for me , I love TK Maxx and got some really nice things that are a lot more expensive in Spain for the quality. I ate much more that I should have , fish and chips, curry , chinese, pub meals, cakes and Greggs sausage rolls ! I was glad to come back to Chella as I found the UK too busy and the traffic awful ! The only way I can describe my experience is that some of the places I went to hadnt changed at all and it felt a bit like groundhog day , I missed the blue skies of Spain but had really good weather for the time of year in the UK. The trip has made me realise we made the right decision on our Spanish adventure and quality of life for us at least is better here. I wish my children lived here too but they are adults and making thier own way in life and technology these days allows us to keep in close contact daily. I dont feel a need to go back other than to see my children and I guess thats positive ;-)


When the grandchildren arrive I fancy your view will change.


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

There must be something lacking in me. I feel the same wherever I find myself. I don't give any kind of priority to Spain, the UK, Czech Republic, Canada or anywhere else I've spent a lot of time.
Until last year I made frequent trips back to the UK, often a weekly or more frequent commute, always on business although I usually caught up with family. I had no special feelings when I got there and none when I got back to Prague or Spain.
I shan't go back to the UK again. No desire to do so. Family can come here and see us, they have property here. Friends can come to visit...when invited.
What matters most of all to me is my partner, my dogs, my four walls, , wherever they may be, my books, my contentment. All I need to feel at home.


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## Overandout (Nov 10, 2012)

Moving more than once really makes you understand where your "home" is.

But I am not like Mary, although I think I would like to be.

When I left the UK I quickly realised that I didn´t really miss it, and I did feel like a visitor when I first went back later that year.

But when I left Spain to live in Thailand, I did miss Spain and never felt like a visitor when coming back for my yearly visit!

I knew Spain was my preferred "home! but these sensations have just confirmed it.

Don´t get me wrong, I will always "feel English" and Thailand has a really special draw on me due to the people and places we got to know well, but sometimes you just know that a certain place is for you. Or at least, I think so.


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## Overandout (Nov 10, 2012)

Pesky Wesky said:


> Isn't it where your heart is?


No, its where ever you lay your hat....


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## Overandout (Nov 10, 2012)

Maureen47 said:


> I love TK Maxx


I have to confess that that is also one of my highlights of visiting the UK, but I recently discovered that it is also just as good in Germany, at least in Berlin.


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