# Dating in Mexico



## GeorgGrey

I'm in my fifties, I live alone but I would like to have a partner. Not necessarily to live with (I'm pretty comfortable as I am) , but to go out with.

Now, here is how dating goes, at least for me. I set up one (let's watch a movie, go to the movies, stuff like that), and, what usually happens is that the lady in question calls me around the time we are supposed to hook up to tell me that she can't make it.

In happened three times in a row now, these ladies are obviously around my age, but always it was that the father just called and she HAD to go and see him, or that some cousins just called, they are on their way and she obviously has to stay home to attend to them, or mum isn't feeling well.

In none of the three cases I was under the impression that they were stalling me - in other words, they were telling the truth.:clap2:

It just brought home to me how tight-knit (I'd say suffocating) the family bond is here. If you're not one of them, you'll be relegated to the position of runners-up.

Any of you folks care to share their experiences?


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## circle110

Here is what may be causing their hesitancy:

>>I live alone but I would like to have a partner. Not necessarily to live with (I'm pretty comfortable as I am) , but to go out with.

That is a little of an oxymoron in Mexican culture - especially more traditional culture. A dating situation is usually all about taking the relationship somewhere, not just being long term buddies.

Those women probably actually did receive that call from Dad or whoever (so they indeed were being honest) but they chose to not tell him "Sorry Papá, I have a date tonight, I'll come see you tomorrow morning." and instead called you and begged off because you didn't seem like you were very serious about taking the relationship to the next level.

But that's just a guess based on my experience.

I remember that our Mexican friends started asking my new girlfriend and I about wedding plans only three days after we started dating. It shocked me at the time but since then I have come to see that that is just how the culture here views these things. In our case we did wind up getting married three years later but after only three days of dating it kind of freaked me out to talk about marriage! But to our friends those questions were natural even at that early stage.


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## Ennio

*dating in mexico*



GeorgGrey said:


> I'm in my fifties, I live alone but I would like to have a partner. Not necessarily to live with (I'm pretty comfortable as I am) , but to go out with.
> 
> Now, here is how dating goes, at least for me. I set up one (let's watch a movie, go to the movies, stuff like that), and, what usually happens is that the lady in question calls me around the time we are supposed to hook up to tell me that she can't make it.
> 
> In happened three times in a row now, these ladies are obviously around my age, but always it was that the father just called and she HAD to go and see him, or that some cousins just called, they are on their way and she obviously has to stay home to attend to them, or mum isn't feeling well.
> 
> In none of the three cases I was under the impression that they were stalling me - in other words, they were telling the truth.:clap2:
> 
> It just brought home to me how tight-knit (I'd say suffocating) the family bond is here. If you're not one of them, you'll be relegated to the position of runners-up.
> 
> Any of you folks care to share their experiences?



Hi Mr GeorgGrey you have to remember that is a diferent culture you are dealing with now and older ladies here are old school and if they are single can be really shy and not used to be going out they feel out of their comfort zone so try to take it a little bit more smooth specially in the first dates she could be a little bit shy and may not feel comfortable being along with you just yet and try to get to her family and friends if you are really interested in that lady aks her to bring a or some friends in the first dates she will feel more comfortable and things should work better for you best of luck and let us know how its going for you later take care bye.


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## Grizzy

circle110 said:


> That is a little of an oxymoron in Mexican culture - especially more traditional culture. A dating situation is usually all about taking the relationship somewhere, not just being long term buddies.
> 
> 
> 
> I remember that our Mexican friends started asking my new girlfriend and I about wedding plans only three days after we started dating. It shocked me at the time but since then I have come to see that that is just how the culture here views these things. In our case we did wind up getting married three years later but after only three days of dating it kind of freaked me out to talk about marriage! But to our friends those questions were natural even at that early stage.


Bingo. I broke one of my big rules about not dating after meeting a very interesting Mexican gentleman. On our first real date he took me to meet his mother, father, teen aged children and to his dead wife's grave to get her approval as well.  He was very clear he was interested in marriage and that was the entire point of dating.

It is a very very different culture here.

I am still hiding LOL.


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## circle110

Ennio said:


> Hi Mr GeorgGrey you have to remember that is a diferent culture you are dealing with now and older ladies here are old school and if they are single can be really shy and not used to be going out they feel out of their comfort zone so try to take it a little bit more smooth specially in the first dates she could be a little bit shy and may not feel comfortable being along with you just yet and try to get to her family and friends if you are really interested in that lady aks her to bring a or some friends in the first dates she will feel more comfortable and things should work better for you best of luck and let us know how its going for you later take care bye.


Ennio makes a good suggestion. Take it slow and maybe think of things to do on the first dates that include her friends or family.


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## jasavak

GeorgGrey said:


> I'm in my fifties, I live alone but I would like to have a partner. Not necessarily to live with (I'm pretty comfortable as I am) , but to go out with.
> 
> Now, here is how dating goes, at least for me. I set up one (let's watch a movie, go to the movies, stuff like that), and, what usually happens is that the lady in question calls me around the time we are supposed to hook up to tell me that she can't make it.
> 
> In happened three times in a row now, these ladies are obviously around my age, but always it was that the father just called and she HAD to go and see him, or that some cousins just called, they are on their way and she obviously has to stay home to attend to them, or mum isn't feeling well.
> 
> In none of the three cases I was under the impression that they were stalling me - in other words, they were telling the truth.:clap2:
> 
> It just brought home to me how tight-knit (I'd say suffocating) the family bond is here. If you're not one of them, you'll be relegated to the position of runners-up.
> 
> Any of you folks care to share their experiences?


 In Mexico , the family bond is strong and they are extremely protective of one another . 
I can never mention anything about my wife to her brothers and sisters or vice versa. When it comes to family, they are right and everything else is wrong no matter what.


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## FHBOY

jasavak said:


> In Mexico , the family bond is strong and they are extremely protective of one another .
> I can never mention anything about my wife to her brothers and sisters or vice versa. When it comes to family, they are right and everything else is wrong no matter what.


 Sounds like there is a Jewish mother somewhere in the family?


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## Lann1011

I would also think since you are not a native that you would be eye-balled/policed/considered a lot more by the women and the family. Maybe most women are not looking for something casual.. If you are looking for pals, maybe have a party/group get together with men and women. That way there is no pressure or one on one DATE nerves.. or find an amigo with a sister or gal pal of his own.


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