# Returning to SA.



## arking (Jan 20, 2014)

Hi all 
So here I am after 15 years in the UK and many friends along the way and I am absolutely miserable. The weather is miserable dark and typically grey. I simply feel trapped in my big house with my 3 young kids. We have made plans to return home by the end of the year and each day my husband returns home to my words. " I cannot wait to go home" I've promised him that I will not do it but each day is the same.

I see friends and work colleagues but I have no interest in discussing anything about the events of the day. I have come to the realisation that I have nothing in common with anyone here. I'm so tired of talking about the weather and superficial stuff. I want to have real conversations with real people about real topics. I listen to how people have no desire to be with their family or how their parents are a burden. I see my old neighbours never getting visitors and I wonder will this be me one day?? 
My children have an outdoor life of only 3 months in the summer and when it does come it rains so much. I doubt whether this is really a better life for them the are British and can come back if they so choose but at the moment they are children and their only adventures are muddy parks.

I know about the crime, corruption, blackouts but nothing can deter me from not returning. I lived at home for 10 months in 2010 and id never been happier. I can't even share my joy with anyone at work so here I am on this forum. 

The UK has afforded us many material things but one thing is to learn is that no amount of money can buy happiness.
I'm so pleased to hear about positive home comings and would love to get in touch with other returnees. We can share our fears, expectations disappointments( hopefully not) and general passion for returning to South Africa.
Thank you and look forward to hearing from others in a simular position.


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## pb00 (Jun 15, 2013)

I hear you arking, both my wife and I are the same. I'm a Brit and I'm about as fed up with it as you sound, we're heading over in 2015 April as my wifes family is all in Jo'burg. 

All the same sentiment as you, I guess when you've made the choice what else really matters?? We're just focusing on getting everything ready and being as successful in work as they are very generous when it comes to bonus and I figure the more in the pot....

We immerse ourselves in the immigration process and look forward to the first sundowner when it eventually arrives....until then we'll get everything in order and before you know it there will be a mass panic with no time left!!!


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## arking (Jan 20, 2014)

Pboo
Thank you for the advice focus,focus. 
We should have a family braai when the weather gets better. We are living near South east London an area called Bromley. I've got lots of tips re what stuff is worth buying if you fancy we can exchange ideas, etc etc and see how each is getting on for our return. Get in touch if you


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## Ianmorris (Jan 23, 2014)

Hi Arking 
Seems to be a common theme developing on this thread. Like yourself I had had enough of the dreary existence back in the UK. I have two young boys and the thought of them growing up in the UK was just not something I was prepared to do. I was very lucky to have grown up here and cherished the life I had as a child. I want my boys to have the same experiences I had as child. As you mentioned yourself the weather in the Uk does not really allow them to play outdoors for long. I found my two boys are constantly on there computers or games consoles. I returned to Durban on the 20Th January this year. I feel this was the right decision for there futures. Where are you moving to? And when are you thinking of returning?
Kind Regards
Ian


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## shumifan49 (Sep 18, 2013)

I am also planning to return and retire in RSA. Having said that I do wish to comment on raising kids in RSA vs UK:

While it is true that the weather is not ideal for sport or outside play in the UK, it is also true that the education system, although not great, is good and fairly consistent accross the country (if not all schools as there are some bad ones). You will have to be much more selective in RSA to ensure a good education for your children.

When the children get older they can with freedom and good safety visit parks and move around the area in the UK. This is most likely not true in most areas in RSA. Parents have to be much more careful. So most time spent outside will be limited to safe areas and/or under supervision.

Exposure to other cultures in Europe is another benefit of being in the UK.

Exposure to low cost drugs in RSA is a problem.


On the flip side:
Discipline in the UK is bad and for the most part kids are badly behaved. This seems symptomatic.
Kids are taught it is more important to take part than win which breeds the wrong attitude.
Kids are encouragedto believe all people are equal and do not really understand that different people have different abilities.

In conclusion
If I have children younger than 13-ish, I would most likely remain in the UK. If my kids are older, RSA is a much better proposition. I raised my daughther in the UK.


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## Jem62 (Jul 25, 2012)

There is a facebook group called 'Return to South Africa' it is populated by SA's from all over the world in different stages of returning home. It is a most useful group in dealing with the emotions and practicalities of returning home. Indeed, much of the sentiments you have expressed is shared by many SA's all over the globe, as someone said, "it helps to make me feel less alone and 'mad' in planning to return home".


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## Ianmorris (Jan 23, 2014)

Thank you so much Jem
I shall join the group immediately
Regards
Ian


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## pb00 (Jun 15, 2013)

We're on it as well, its very good from the positive perspective although sometimes there needs to be a bit more balance. Again for us our minds are fixed on going so I guess its all about being prepared and planning well to ensure we land and settle in with as little distress as possible


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## arking (Jan 20, 2014)

Jem62 Thank you very much. I will definitely check out that FB page. 
my intention of this thread is in no way meant to bite the hand that feeds me. I have fully enjoyed our time in the UK it is a great country on many levels but I guess, I'm homesick and after my experience of living in SA no holiday is going to take this feeling away. I need to return. 

Many many conflicting ideas in my head. Ianmorris I think you can see where I'm coming from so appreciate your view.
Shumifan49 I'm sure you have lots of experience of your kids growing up in the UK and you have made loads of valid points and I appreciate this. 
I fully understand that the kids are exposed to many different cultures here and I hope that if they decide to return, they will again enjoy this as much as I did when I first arrived 15 years ago. 

South Africa also has other cultures and sadly I'd never been exposed to them on growing up.
For example when we moved home in 2010 for 10 months I had no idea that my helper could not understand nor speak Zulu.
I was so clueless. Growing up in Durban I assumed all Black people in SA spoke Zulu or Xhosa. She was from Venda and she exposed me to a whole different African culture I never knew about.

I grew up in a 'different South Africa", we lived in an impoverished community with poor facilities unemployment and gang violence and we were never fully exposed to other cultures. How wonderful to see my nieces and nephews at school experiencing a different country.
I never got to experience or enjoy many of the lovely things that our country offered until I came here and went home again on holiday. When returned it opened my eyes to what a great country we have which is sadly overshadowed by the crime and a poor government.

I am hoping and praying that our new democracy will improve as more people becoming educated. 
Many people fail to see how far we have come from the civil unrest that plagued us in the 80s to now. More people in South Africa now have basic needs met than ever before and more people are being educated. 
The Govt education system is poor but the Model C schools as well as the private schools have excellent standards and are committed to providing a high standard of education. In South Africa, we have great quality restaurants and food in from take away. 

When we lived in Johanessburg in 2010, almost every restaurant or McDonald's kids were welcome and almost all had child play facilities. Many times in the UK I feel like my children are a nuisance here in restaurants. On saying all of the above I do feel that the cost of living in SA is very high and one has to earn a good salary to enjoy a good quality life hence the reason we are hanging on until we are financially apt to move. Also the UK is a country steeped in history and amazing buildings it has a lot of great things to offer.
Ianmorris we are hoping to move to Johanessburg in October but it looks more likely we will move end of December due to cost of relocation. Thank you all for your advice and words or encouragement.


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## pb00 (Jun 15, 2013)

Unabridged birth cert arrived today for my son so I can now process my pr ftom the uk. Took 2 months and over Xmas so reasonably quick imho. It all starts now, full steam ahead for SA!!


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## arking (Jan 20, 2014)

Awesome stuff!


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## Ianmorris (Jan 23, 2014)

Good luck Pb :-}}


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