# Expat syndrome



## Stravinsky (Aug 12, 2007)

So ........... you sit there in the UK and decide that you are unhappy with your lot and you decide to start a new life in Spain

You do your research ........ you find a nice place ........ you move over and settle down. You're relatively happy and you're enjoying your new life in sunny spain.

Then you discover forumland.

You spend your days justifying your existence and you listen to people telling you what you should be doing now that you live in Spain. You really must integrate, you _NEED_ Spanish friends, although they all hate you really because you're English, not Welsh. You _have_ to learn to speak Spanish otherwise you will rot in hell. You [email protected], get that bloody car matriculated. Vote for the Free Torrevieja party.

You run around in circles trying to do it all, and feel guilty that you visited a British bar for a meal last night and got a friend to bring over Oxo cubes in their suitcase last week. You should only shop in Spanish supermarkets and you know it!

Why do we do it to ourselves?


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

Classic!! Thanks, Strav.

Ibsen, "To yourself be true".


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Stravinsky said:


> So ........... you sit there in the UK and decide that you are unhappy with your lot and you decide to start a new life in Spain
> 
> You do your research ........ you find a nice place ........ you move over and settle down. You're relatively happy and you're enjoying your new life in sunny spain.
> 
> ...


Perfect! :clap2::clap2:

Thats my feeling exactly. I came to realise how stupid this all was when my friends from france came to visit me last year. He (more so the his wife) was desperate to go to all the brit bars on the costa, he wanted the sunday roasts, the quiz nites, english tv, to hear the british language... blah blah. Cos as I say they live in France, in a small typically french vfillage. They've intergrated totally, can speak the language and are "in" with the locals. But they miss being British. They dont want to go back to the UK, but they enjoy spending time emmersing themselves in some of their old creature comforts. and why not?

Jo xx


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## akilar (May 31, 2009)

haha yeah its so true,

Ive been here for nearly 8 years, i dont speak much spanish at all but my girlfriend does, living in a very expat orientated community i never needed it, i wanted a pint i asked for one in english and the mercadona / carrefour cashiers usually tend not to engage you in conversation!!

You do need spanish if your going to take spain seriously, if you need anything from the government or police or schools it really helps, as long as they see you trying then there usually pretty happy


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## Stravinsky (Aug 12, 2007)

akilar said:


> You do need spanish if your going to take spain seriously, if you need anything from the government or police or schools it really helps, as long as they see you trying then there usually pretty happy


Burn in Hell Akilar! 

Thats my point though ..... do we take Spain & being an expat too seriously?


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## akilar (May 31, 2009)

Hey Stravinsky

Maybe we do, maybe we should just sit back and take it all in, learn a bit of spanish but dont let it control your life, i have a good few friends really wanting to learn but cant get their head round it, they get stressed about it and i just tell them to take one class a week, do it slowly it may take a year to ask if you can get a short back and sides and a trim on top but at least you can say it!!


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## Chica (Mar 23, 2009)

Haha. When I first came here I would order a coffee in spanish (in a spanish bar) and would always be spoken to in english!!! They wouldn't give me the opportunity to use my spanish


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

We never tried to integrate.....we were just ourselves. And we fitted in. But we're not everybody.....how many other Brits do you know who live in a Gypsy community and keep a host of bizarre animals?

Essentially.....we were born British.....but apart from our love of animals we have very few British ways. We never fitted in in Britain......and always felt we were somehow displaced from where we were meant to be. 
And bear in mind we'd lived in about ten different towns and cities in Wales (and even one in England).....so we had moved around a bit.

Also we have no community ties or family connections in Britain.....so nothing there to ever draw us back.

We came here with no other agenda other than find a place in the country (We did), keep animals (We did), be competent in Spanish (I did), build a business (I did), and ride my bike (I do).

We have no interest in Sky TV, Brit nights out (never, ever been to one), and making loads of Brit friends (We have one or two good friends and the rest are just clients).

We knew we'd have to dig deep to make it work.....we did, and still do....everyday. Most people can't summon up the inner strength to meet those challenges......but we grew up on the city streets of industrial South Wales rather than the playing fields of Eton. So battling just to keep what you already have is all we've ever known in our lives.....cos you ain't gonna get any lucky breaks or opportunities living there. Even more so from the Thatcher years onwards!

So as you see, our circumstances are radically different to most expats. We both have gypsy blood and we _eventually_ found the place we were meant to be. And that place is _not_ Britain.


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

Chica said:


> Haha. When I first came here I would order a coffee in spanish (in a spanish bar) and would always be spoken to in english!!! They wouldn't give me the opportunity to use my spanish



Yes thats happened to me in Fuengirola. 
They know you are English and that most expats cannot speak the language
so I suppose its easier for them to talk in English to everyone English

It would be a rather different story if you entered a bar in Gijon


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

SunnySpain said:


> Yes thats happened to me in Fuengirola.
> They know you are English and that most expats cannot speak the language
> so I suppose its easier for them to talk in English to everyone English
> 
> It would be a rather different story if you entered a bar in Gijon


Yes, but I've found that sometimes the bar staff actually want to speak english cos they're trying to learn it. I've had occasions where I've spoken spanish and the waitress has spoken english because we kind of agreed thats what we both wanted!!

Jo xxx


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

XTreme said:


> We never tried to integrate.....we were just ourselves. And we fitted in. But we're not everybody.....how many other Brits do you know who live in a Gypsy community and keep a host of bizarre animals?
> 
> Essentially.....we were born British.....but apart from our love of animals we have very few British ways. We never fitted in in Britain......and always felt we were somehow displaced from where we were meant to be.
> And bear in mind we'd lived in about ten different towns and cities in Wales (and even one in England).....so we had moved around a bit.
> ...



Thanks for this post XT, its really nice to here about the "real" Xtreme!!!:clap2::clap2::clap2:

Jo xxxx


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

jojo said:


> Thanks for this post XT, its really nice to here about the "real" Xtreme!!!:clap2::clap2::clap2:
> 
> Jo xxxx


Everything I post is real Jo! Unlike many people who reinvent themselves in Spain.....and others who just tell tell blatant lies on forums.....I'm totally honest.

And even the more _extreme_ XTreme is still me.....it's just the more brash element of my personality rising to the surface.

If you met me in real life you'd find I'm exactly as I am here.....Strav will tell you that! He's very jealous of my charisma you know. Most men are! The ladies love me though.....they always go for the naughty boy type!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

XTreme said:


> Everything I post is real Jo! Unlike many people who reinvent themselves in Spain.....and others who just tell tell blatant lies on forums.....I'm totally honest.
> 
> And even the more _extreme_ XTreme is still me.....it's just the more brash element of my personality rising to the surface.
> 
> If you met me in real life you'd find I'm exactly as I am here.....Strav will tell you that! He's very jealous of my charisma you know. Most men are! The ladies love me though.....they always go for the naughty boy type!


I'm exactly the same too!!! well I think I am??? "naughty boy type"??????? bless!!!!

Jo xxx


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## Tallulah (Feb 16, 2009)

Respect XT!!


I think everyone wherever they are wants a little taste of what they left behind in the UK now and again. In my case, it's teabags and a few books in mum's suitcase when they visit.

What I don't understand is having to recreate a little Britain albeit in sunnier climes. But, each to their own. Portobello - little Spain in London. Southall - little India. Chinatown, Leicester, Birmingham.... Obviously it's in our nature and how we beat what the Spanish call "Moriña" which is not only homesickness, but a missing of everything "home". The sad thing is of course, as the song very beautifully put it in "I was born under a wandering star"....in some cases, the delight is in that missing and the dream and is sadly often not met by the reality of returning. And as the song says, "of dreams of going home, which with any luck will never come true". 

Tallulah.x


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## Stravinsky (Aug 12, 2007)

XTreme said:


> Everything I post is real Jo! Unlike many people who reinvent themselves in Spain.....and others who just tell tell blatant lies on forums.....I'm totally honest.
> 
> And even the more _extreme_ XTreme is still me.....it's just the more brash element of my personality rising to the surface.
> 
> If you met me in real life you'd find I'm exactly as I am here.....Strav will tell you that! He's very jealous of my charisma you know. Most men are! The ladies love me though.....they always go for the naughty boy type!


A _lot _of what you post is totally unreal 
He's a nobber in real life Jo.
He wears track suit bottoms and dyes his hair orange.
If there was an asylum in Huescar, he'd be first in and they would throw away the key

Jealous??? Pah :blah:


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Stravinsky said:


> A _lot _of what you post is totally unreal
> He's a nobber in real life Jo.
> He wears track suit bottoms and dyes his hair orange.
> If there was an asylum in Huescar, he'd be first in and they would throw away the key
> ...


you love each other really :tongue::eyebrows:

Jo xxx


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

jojo said:


> I'm exactly the same too!!! well I think I am??? "naughty boy type"??????? bless!!!!
> 
> Jo xxx


Can I be a naughty boy type again? Mmm, thought I gave that up 20/30 years ago


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

jojo said:


> I'm exactly the same too!!! well I think I am??? "naughty boy type"??????? bless!!!!
> 
> Jo xxx


I'm gonna be checking you out chica! I've seen your gallery!


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

Stravinsky said:


> A _lot _of what you post is totally unreal
> He's a nobber in real life Jo.
> He wears track suit bottoms and dyes his hair orange.
> If there was an asylum in Huescar, he'd be first in and they would throw away the key
> ...


Strav in Huescar:

_It's too hot!
It's too dusty!
Why are there bomb caters in the road?
I can only drive at walking pace in these conditions!
Is it safe to get out of the car?
I'm not going in there with that crazy donkey!
Why is that gypsy taking a dump over the bonnet of my car?
What language are these subhumans speaking?
Get me some Brits immediately!
I've got mosquitos in my ponytail!_

He's a real man of action and no mistake!


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## Chica (Mar 23, 2009)

XTreme said:


> I'm gonna be checking you out chica! I've seen your gallery!


What.....who....me????? I don't have an album:lol::lol:


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

SteveHall said:


> thought I gave that up 20/30 years ago


This isn't the time or the place to discuss your sex life Steve!


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

SteveHall said:


> Can I be a naughty boy type again? Mmm, thought I gave that up 20/30 years ago



Never, you're far too gentlemanly to have ever been a "naughty boy"!!!!!!!!

Jo xx


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

Going back to the original post .... :tongue:

I love Spain , like the Spanish people, food, wine, coffee, sun, sand, sea etc etc .... BUT there are still something that I do miss from the UK ... and I do seek them out occasionally - and I shouldnt feel guilty or shamed by that ! BUT I DO !!! and usually I feel its because Im made to feel guilt or shame by some expats / forums ...

but for me, wanting to eat a proper Yorkshire pudding or fancying a meat and potatoe pie whilst I live in spain ... is no different to when I still wanted these things having moved from the glorious County of Yorkshire to Somerset (where I couldnt find a decent meat and potatoe pie to save my life!!)

So I dont think anyone should feel "bad" for wanting and missing certain things whatever they are when living here ..... lifes too short to never eat a Yorkshire pudding again! :lol::lol:


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

A Yorkshire girl?? Gradely! Knew there was a reason I liked you so much. There was a pub on the A62 (just where it is 100 yards from the M62 between Huddersfield and Halifax) which did the GREATEST Yorkshire Puds known to mankind. Served on a huge platter and filled with vegetable gravy and mushy peas. OMG, I have just died and gone to heaven! Many, many times have I been there after watching Northern or on the way back from a heavy day. As you can imagine if you know where it is I "think" I have been there once when it was not raining, sleeting, snowing, hailing etc etc I still believe that Yorkshire should have home rule. If only they could produce a half-decent football team!


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## SunnySpain (Jul 30, 2008)

Suenneil said:


> BUT there are still something that I do miss from the UK ... and I do seek them out occasionally - and I shouldnt feel guilty or shamed by that ! BUT I DO !!! and usually I feel its because Im made to feel guilt or shame by some expats / forums ...



Shame on you young lady, shame on you 

I sometimes miss poppin out for a curry :lol:


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

Yorkshire lass indeed ! .....specifically South Yorkshire ...... have to admit to being a season ticket holder at Sheffield Wednesday for quite a few years! ...... any was even at Wembley when they beat Manchester United in a cup final! god they couldnt do that now!


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

League Cup Final !!! 1991 if I remember but come on give us a break even Man Cxxx have won that cup LOL


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

SteveHall said:


> League Cup Final !!! 1991 if I remember but come on give us a break even Man Cxxx have won that cup LOL


hey I wasnt alluding to the fabulous football they played! just telling you how into football I was at the time ,., and followed them quite a bit (my son was and still is a huge fan which played a large part in my attendance!)

Anyway ... its pleasing to hear you like us Yorkshire lasses ....... :clap2::clap2::clap2:


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## SteveHall (Oct 17, 2008)

Yes, with the notable exception of my first mother-in-law (from BraTford!) I have always loved Yorkshire lasses and your flat vowels. (XTreme - keep it clean!) 

One of the first lusts of my life was from Hunter's Bar (and another from Dore (Rich Bxxxx!)) Sadly my ex-wife took a dim view on them!


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

SteveHall said:


> Yes, with the notable exception of my first mother-in-law (from BraTford!) I have always loved Yorkshire lasses and your flat vowels. (XTreme - keep it clean!)
> 
> One of the first lusts of my life was from Hunter's Bar (and another from Dore (Rich Bxxxx!)) Sadly my ex-wife took a dim view on them!


Dore! now that is posh! .... or it used to be ...... yes the "flat vowels" are still brought to my attention most days! even one of my colleagues who is German mentioned it this very morning .... I never really notice it - and in some respects think Im less "Yorkshire" in my speech than I used to be ..... got a bit posher as Ive gotten older! lol ... I never try to disguise or hide it ..... its never held me back or stopped me getting where I want to be ! 
:clap2:


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## XTreme (May 17, 2008)

Have they got flat hats and whippets? And what happens when there's trouble a 'tmill?


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## Suenneil (Feb 17, 2009)

XTreme said:


> Have they got flat hata and whippets? And what happens when there's trouble a 'tmill?


such a stereotype Xtreme !!! Ive got a Degree I´´ll have you know plus a lovely formal hat for weddings and an almost pedigree dog !!!


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