# Nervous when speaking to natives.



## SchwarzesMaedchen

It's super tough for me to speak German to a native. I don't mean typing out stuff online I mean actual speaking out loud (although I still make mistakes there too). I know I need to practice listening and speaking skills but it seems like when I have to speak it, everything I know is heaved out of ears and I stand there like a total moron stringing words together.

Ever had this happen to you? Please share experiences. I was talking to a friend online and I think I replied to a message something like: "Ich möchte dich versuchen." and he was all like "ummm...meinst du BEsuchen"? 

You seriously have no idea how many times I've told people I've wanted to "try" them.


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## Maple Sugar

That's funny and everybody can relate, I'm sure. First, give yourself a break and relax. When you are relaxed, the words come easier. Second, remember that you've been speaking English all your life and you probably make a minor error from time to time. I do. Laugh it off.
Practice and write down your errors and the corrections. You probably won't make the same one twice. If you're unsure of the word, say the word to the other person and then ask, Is that the correct word in German? The person will either answer, Yes, that's correct, or will say, No, the word you mean is XXXXX. Most people like to help and aren't critical if they know that you're trying your best.

There's quite a famous true story about a francophone Canadian senior diplomat and his wife who were the guests of honour at a state dinner in China. The meal was served, a silence fell and the wife said a very common thing in French when that happens: C'est comme un ange qui passe - It's like an angel passed (over us). The Chinese translator mistranslated the phrase to - Your wife looks like a prostitute. Flurry, diplomatic incident, Canadians sitting there saying, What? What? The Canadian translator rushed to the rescue and pointed out the error and things settled down. 

So, it happens even in the highest places! You're in good company!!


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## Gioppino

In my own experience, the Germans appreciate the fact that a foreigner tries to speak their language (unlike their Dutch neighbours). If you ask a question in German, they usually slow down to make sure you understand.


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## SchwarzesMaedchen

That's a relief. I was hoping they wouldn't mind too much about my speaking. I've decided though to do audio diaries. This was suggested to me by someone who found that recording herself speaking and listening back to it would help me to find my weakpoints and to train my tongue and ears to German language, plus increase my confidence. Sounds pretty legit to me.


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## bluesaturn

Just keep going. Or try to speak English. I would say younger Germans like the opportunity to practise their English.


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## Maple Sugar

Also, see if you can get access to a language lab at your local high school or college. The audio diaries are a good idea and a language lab can really help.


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## mrs.senftleben

Interesting, I'd never thought of audio diaries... that's a great idea. I struggle with my German, too, and most of the time people can't understand what I'm saying because I'm just so nervous and I swallow half the words I say so that people can't tell if I'm saying them wrong (which backfires because then they can't really hear them at all and I have to repeat). 

Bottom line, you're not alone in this. I lived with my husband's parents for a few months as a transition (he was really busy with school/work and didn't have time to help me adjust) and before every meal we would all say "Für die sei das (meal), guten Appetit" (or something like that, still not quite sure)... found out once I moved out that I had said it wrong every.single.time. And no one had ever noticed. It was embarrassing, but also encouraging because I realized that as long as you're close, people will understand you and give your words the benefit of the doubt.


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## jsharbuck

I am a native German speaker who immigrated to the StTes( and then to New Zealand).
When my husband was interested in learning German I bought him Rosetta Stone. We bought the who,e set so that I could regain my fluency. For my husband 1 and 2 were plenty. Many high schools and colleges use it


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## lumierre

Gioppino said:


> In my own experience, the Germans appreciate the fact that a foreigner tries to speak their language (unlike their Dutch neighbours). If you ask a question in German, they usually slow down to make sure you understand.


It almost never happened to me. When I speak to Germans and is clear that I do not master the language, they don´t even think to speak slower, au contrary, they make it worse, so that they can look at you with a "Souverain" attitude they like to much, without even realizing how stupid this is it... I also met some exceptions, meaning that truly honest people that think about the other, too, exists in Germany too.. but that was happened so rare that it really makes no rule for German people. Sorry for the truth, guys... but Germans are not at all friendly or undersanding as they would like to appear (and they try hard on creating such impression - which counts to strengthen the reality that they really have problems with foreigners).

:ranger:


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## lumierre

bluesaturn said:


> Just keep going. Or try to speak English. I would say younger Germans like the opportunity to practise their English.


Except in Eastern Germany... the most aggresive toward using Eglisch translations (and not only English) in meetings come from the östies...the younger ones!


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## lumierre

mrs.senftleben said:


> Interesting, I'd never thought of audio diaries... that's a great idea. I struggle with my German, too, and most of the time people can't understand what I'm saying because I'm just so nervous and I swallow half the words I say so that people can't tell if I'm saying them wrong (which backfires because then they can't really hear them at all and I have to repeat).
> 
> Bottom line, you're not alone in this. I lived with my husband's parents for a few months as a transition (he was really busy with school/work and didn't have time to help me adjust) and before every meal we would all say "Für die sei das (meal), guten Appetit" (or something like that, still not quite sure)... found out once I moved out that I had said it wrong every.single.time. And no one had ever noticed. It was embarrassing, but also encouraging because I realized that as long as you're close, people will understand you and give your words the benefit of the doubt.


I personally combined self training, training at Volkshochschule and the free Deutsche Welle Series... the last one provides a spoken german just like on the streets, but a little slower verbalised... and is a good practice for me! I recommend.


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