# Needing to Find a Loophole, I need to Move to England



## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Hey Guys and Gals, 

Okay,this is my story. I am a 28 year old single mother (American). I have been dating my British boyfriend long distant for nearly 2 years now. I know it sounds impossible. But, we have known each other for 10 years now. Our families are close friend and when we were younger they use to fly to the US a lot. We just started dating March of 2009 after we both got out of relationships. Now we both have children (from previous relationships) are a bit more mature and want to see what can happen between us. 

He can not come to the US because he is currently fighting for custody of both his daughters. He currently, has custody of his oldest daughter. Just last, month I went to the UK in order to spend sometime with him. While, I was there we saw a need for me to come back. He is struggling to take care of his 3 year old daughter and is currently unemployed (cause he has no one to care for his daughter). Since, I am not working here in the US and have sole custody of my children. He thought that it would be better for me to come to him, help him with his daughter so he can work. We, are not that keen on jumping into marriage even though we love each other, and we can not afford the $1200 a fiancee visa cost. 

I wanted to apply for a Long-Term Visitor visa but, I am confused about this visa. If, I am granted it for 5 years, I have to leave the country every 6 months (which will be hard since my boys will be in school). But, even if that was not the case. After I leave the UK after the 6 months how long will I have to wait before I can re-enter taking into mind that my children are in school? And I will be the child care provider for his daughter. 

Also, with this visa if, we decided to get married how do we go about that issue? 

If anyone can come up with any advice or help me find a loop hole that will be great. I am hoping to leave by February.


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## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

You're treading on very thin ice here. If you're on a "visitor" visa, it's doubtful your children will be able to attend school in the UK as, officially, you won't be resident there. (That's why it's called a "visitor" visa.)

Even with sole custody, you will probably be expected to provide some evidence that the boys' father is willing to permit them to move out of the country. (Either for the visas or for their passports.)

For any sort of residence visa, you are going to have to show that you have sufficient resources to provide for you and your boys while you are living in the UK. In fact, for a visitor's visa you're going to have to provide information about your savings, income and maintaining your ties back to the US while you are "visiting" the UK and from what you've told us, I don't think you'll qualify. 

I don't see any loophole at this point. Maybe someone with more experience can think of something, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
Cheers,
Bev


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Bevdeforges said:


> You're treading on very thin ice here. If you're on a "visitor" visa, it's doubtful your children will be able to attend school in the UK as, officially, you won't be resident there. (That's why it's called a "visitor" visa.)
> 
> Even with sole custody, you will probably be expected to provide some evidence that the boys' father is willing to permit them to move out of the country. (Either for the visas or for their passports.)
> 
> ...




Thanks Bev, 

Let me clear up some stuff I failed to include. My children's father is here in the US on a Green Card cause we were once married. He has a job as a RN and we have worked out a deal since our divorce. He agreed in the court to pay $950 a month for the support of the children. He just wants to have them for 2 weeks every year. We have talked about it and he has said that he is okay with me taking the boys as long as I hold up my side of the agreement bring them to him each year for 2 weeks. He also agreed to continue to pay the $950 a month. It was ordered by a judge and he has to continue to pay it even if I am not in the country. Or, he will be in trouble with the government since he has already agreed to let me take the children out of the country and continue to pay until the last one is 18.

Next, I also receive SSI Benefits for a child with disabilities. Which total close to $700 a month. I contacted the Social Security to see if he will still be eligible for this if we leave the country. They informed me that he will still get it, if he continues to see his cardiologist and is still deemed disabled. Also, since they have ties with England the check can be mailed to the nearest US Embassy. But, I will continue to keep my direct deposit with the bank here and the money will be just transferred to an account I open in the UK. 

My boyfriend has asked the school in the UK where his daughter goes part day if I would be able to enroll my children into school. The Head Mistress told him that I will be able to enroll the children on a visitor visa but, they will have to leave school when the visa has expired meaning missing out on education. Or, I can just home school them. 

I wanted to get a fiancee visa but, we see that their are too many issues. 1) He is unemployed and is receiving public funds. 2) He lives in a council flat. My fair is that I will spend the $1200 and then be denied the visa. And I don't have $1200 just to waste. I can prove that I can care for myself without public funds since I will still be receiving close to $1600 a month from the US. His mother who is renting a council house (she pays rent to it each month and she is a RN) has agreed to let the boys and I come and live with her in her spare room until my boyfriend can either find a job and move out of his flat into a bigger house or until we are married. So, do you think, if we applied for a fiancee visa based on those facts will I get it? 

Or, do you think it will be better to get the Long Term Visitor Visa until he has a job and can show that he can care for us without public funds? Then that lead to my next question. If, I was granted a Long Term Visitor Visa after the 6 months when I have to leave when will I be able to return back into the country? Like could I come home for a week or 2 then go back into the country and start my 6 months again? Or do I have to leave the country for 6 months before I can come back? 

I think saying that I was looking for a loophole was the wrong term. I want to do this legally. But, I also want to know how to go about it under our predicament.


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## lynn (Sep 25, 2008)

advice_needed said:


> Thanks Bev,
> 
> Let me clear up some stuff I failed to include. My children's father is here in the US on a Green Card cause we were once married. He has a job as a RN and we have worked out a deal since our divorce. He agreed in the court to pay $950 a month for the support of the children. He just wants to have them for 2 weeks every year. We have talked about it and he has said that he is okay with me taking the boys as long as I hold up my side of the agreement bring them to him each year for 2 weeks. He also agreed to continue to pay the $950 a month. It was ordered by a judge and he has to continue to pay it even if I am not in the country. Or, he will be in trouble with the government since he has already agreed to let me take the children out of the country and continue to pay until the last one is 18.
> 
> ...


I really feel for your predicament, and wouldn't like to think that beaurocracy would stand in the way of two families coming together, but I'm afraid I do feel uncomfortable with someone looking for a 'loophole' in a system for entering a country. I hope that your feelings for each other will allow you to live together and not by being forced into marriage. x


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

lynn said:


> I really feel for your predicament, and wouldn't like to think that beaurocracy would stand in the way of two families coming together, but I'm afraid I do feel uncomfortable with someone looking for a 'loophole' in a system for entering a country. I hope that your feelings for each other will allow you to live together and not by being forced into marriage. x


Thanks Lynn, 

And I totally get what you are saying, cause this is what my boyfriend and I were talking about. 3 years ago we both ended marriages and we do not want to jump into getting married because we have to. We have talked about marriage but, we want to do it on our own terms after planning. We also want to see how the children will get along together before we jump into something permanent. As, I said in my reply to Bev, maybe 'loophole' was the wrong term. I am looking for a way to get in the country legally and stay there legally. That is why I was interested in the 5 year Long Term Visitor Visa cause then we would have a chance to live together and plan and if it did not work out, then I can come back home. 

I don't want anyone to think that I am trying to be illegal or find a way that is not legal. I just want to know if I was to get the Long Term Visitor Visa, when can I come back into the country after my 6 months and if we could change that visa category into a fiancee or spousal visa? That is what I meant by 'loophole'. I would rather pay the $719 for a Long Term Visa then to spend the $1200 for a visa that I am not sure I will get or not. I hope you understand what I am saying. For, I don't want to offend anyone. Or, seem like once of those know all, loud mouth Americans.


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

While it's not laid down in the immigration rules, the ground rule the UK Border Agency uses is that a visitor is not expected to spend more than 6 months in a year in UK, so you'll be expected to stay away for 6 months before returning. Arrive any earlier and you risk being turned away and put on the next flight home.
You may have a chance to get a settlement visa as a fiancée or a wife, but you need to look at your finances very carefully. Living temporarily with his mother is acceptable, but there needs to be a realistic long-term plan for a place of your own, and your (over)reliance on US benefits may raise an eyebrow, as they may be withdrawn when circumstances change and then you may start trying to claim welfare payments in UK, which you aren't allowed to (no recourse to public funds). It's not like a pension which you are legally entitled to receive because you have contributed to its fund during your working life. Border Agency have no trouble with that as part of your guaranteed income.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Joppa said:


> While it's not laid down in the immigration rules, the ground rule the UK Border Agency uses is that a visitor is not expected to spend more than 6 months in a year in UK, so you'll be expected to stay away for 6 months before returning. Arrive any earlier and you risk being turned away and put on the next flight home.
> You may have a chance to get a settlement visa as a fiancée or a wife, but you need to look at your finances very carefully. Living temporarily with his mother is acceptable, but there needs to be a realistic long-term plan for a place of your own, and your (over)reliance on US benefits may raise an eyebrow, as they may be withdrawn when circumstances change and then you may start trying to claim welfare payments in UK, which you aren't allowed to (no recourse to public funds). It's not like a pension which you are legally entitled to receive because you have contributed to its fund during your working life. Border Agency have no trouble with that as part of your guaranteed income.



Thanks Joppa, 

I think I get what you are saying the most. So, The Long Term Visa would be useless since I would have to come back home for 6 months. 

Now, I want to ask what do you think the chances are of me getting the fiancee visa? We, have it mapped out kinda. He is a qualified electrician and with me being closer/with him he wants to go out and get a full time job since i will be around to care for his daughter. So, I will be telling them that I am living with his mother, but, I actually will be with him. Also, we plan on getting our own place as soon as he is working and have some money saved. So, we are looking at 2-3 months in his flat. As for the funds from the US, child support has to continue until my youngest child reaches 18 (if the father decides to stop he will be deported or put into jail for failure to pay child support). Plus, I am not concerned about him not paying, he has been good with it and on time with it for the past 2 years. I had the same concerns about the SSI benefits cause so many people told me that it would stop once I left the country but, I called SSI myself and was told that he will continue to receive it as long as he was still deemed disabled and as long as he was seen by a cardiologist through medicare. He has a pacemaker and I dont think that he will ever be able to live without the pacemaker. And since the UK has an American Embassy, I can still receive the funds. 

I agree with what you said and I don't want to make it look like I will be relying overly on funds from the US, cause I don't want to raise any eyebrows with the UK. But, I know that I can not say that I will rely on my fiancee who is not working. Do you know how the process for a fiancee visa goes? After I apply, since you can't explain everything on the application, will I get a phone call from and Immigration Officer to clear up details? Or, will they just take a look at the application and go from there? I will be basically using my savings if I pay for this fiancee visa and I can not afford to have it refused. Will, they contact my fiancee and ask questions to him? I just really need some reassurance and advice. This is a big step that I am making. I want to be with him cause I love him. And we have talked about getting married in the future. We even talked about if I was granted a fiancee visa getting married in late June, a small ceremony. Then renewing our vows a year later something a bit more bigger. 

We have both been in relationships and are a happier together. It is like we are meant to be, we just connect.


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## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

> I called SSI myself and was told that he will continue to receive it as long as he was still deemed disabled and as long as he was seen by a cardiologist through medicare.


This part disturbs me. You do realize, that neither Medicare nor Medicaid exists outside the US? How and whether you'll be covered under the UK NHS system will depend to some extent on the type of visa you hold. On a visitor visa, you're covered only for emergencies (i.e. because you're technically not resident in the UK at all). Under a fiancée or spouse visa, I think you'd all be covered, no problem.
Cheers,
Bev


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Bevdeforges said:


> This part disturbs me. You do realize, that neither Medicare nor Medicaid exists outside the US? How and whether you'll be covered under the UK NHS system will depend to some extent on the type of visa you hold. On a visitor visa, you're covered only for emergencies (i.e. because you're technically not resident in the UK at all). Under a fiancée or spouse visa, I think you'd all be covered, no problem.
> Cheers,
> Bev


Thanks again Bev, 

I know that part, when I called SSI, my case manager told me this. I plan on coming back into the country every 6 months until something permanent can be worked out. So, he will be seen by his cardiologist here in the States. That is why at first I was on about the Long Term Visitor Visa. I already knew that we would only be given treatment in the case of an emergency. My boyfriends mother is a RN and she clued me in on that one. But, she also told me that I could register with the family GP and be seen by him but, I will have to pay. So, if the boys get sick or need shots we can go to the family GP. For, the case of my disabled child I planned on leaving every six months. The case manager told me when, he stops being seen by a cardiologist or if they feel his medicare card is not being used and they know that I am out of the country. They will stop payment of his benefits. 

I have everything on this end worked out my problem is what to do to get their and on what visa would be easier and I have a better chance of getting at present. This is why I was asking about the Long Term Visa cause I thought that I could leave every 6 months for a few days then come back into the country. But, as Joppa said that is not the case. 

But thanks Bev, cause you bring up very good pointers!


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> Thanks Joppa,
> 
> I think I get what you are saying the most. So, The Long Term Visa would be useless since I would have to come back home for 6 months.
> 
> ...


Just double-check with SSI about paying you benefit for your son in UK, as Medicare isn't available to those who live outside of the US, and with a fiancée visa you will be settling in UK. Instead your son will be under the care of an NHS consultant. Perhaps the SSI thought you would still be living in US and only visiting UK.
The way a settlement visa application works is if they need more information, they will write or email you requesting more documents - they won't phone up and speak to you. It's unlikely that they will contact your fiancé in UK - any question they have will be put to you. No, you won't have a chance to explain your application further - everything will be decided based on your written application and supporting documents, and they will either grant you a visa or refuse - you won't be told before they make a decision whether you are likely to fail and what you need to do to reverse it. So there is always a risk that your application will fail and you lose all your money paid in fees. You will be told reasons for refusal after the decision is made, but only in general terms, such as your financial ability doesn't meet the requirement for the visa, not 'you are 2000 pounds short of what is needed.' You do have a right of appeal or administrative review, but it's only likely to succeed if they haven't followed proper procedures or have clearly made a mistake.
Because of your complicated circumstances, I recommend you to make use of a visa advisor or expediter, who will look at your application and supporting documents and suggest improvements to raise your chance of success. While they are not exactly cheap, the money you save on a fresh application and all the waiting and heartache that will bring will more than compensate.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Joppa said:


> Just double-check with SSI about paying you benefit for your son in UK, as Medicare isn't available to those who live outside of the US, and with a fiancée visa you will be settling in UK. Instead your son will be under the care of an NHS consultant. Perhaps the SSI thought you would still be living in US and only visiting UK.
> The way a settlement visa application works is if they need more information, they will write or email you requesting more documents - they won't phone up and speak to you. It's unlikely that they will contact your fiancé in UK - any question they have will be put to you. No, you won't have a chance to explain your application further - everything will be decided based on your written application and supporting documents, and they will either grant you a visa or refuse - you won't be told before they make a decision whether you are likely to fail and what you need to do to reverse it. So there is always a risk that your application will fail and you lose all your money paid in fees. You will be told reasons for refusal after the decision is made, but only in general terms, such as your financial ability doesn't meet the requirement for the visa, not 'you are 2000 pounds short of what is needed.' You do have a right of appeal or administrative review, but it's only likely to succeed if they haven't followed proper procedures or have clearly made a mistake.
> Because of your complicated circumstances, I recommend you to make use of a visa advisor or expediter, who will look at your application and supporting documents and suggest improvements to raise your chance of success.


Joppa,

Thanks again you are the BEST! I have talked to SSI, they from what I understand that as long as my son makes his routine visits to his cardiologist and it is proven that he is still disabled then, I will continue to receive his benefits. But, I don't want to bank on that check forever. Just long enough for my fiancee to get on his feet. I had planned to bring my son back to the US every six months so he could be seen by his cardiologist. I know that he can not use his medicare in the UK. So, that is why I was planning to bring him every six months. Stay a few days then return. This is why I was kinda banking on the Long Term Visa which seems impossible at this moment. I wanted to help my boyfriend so that later I could come back home and maybe apply for the fiancee visa or get married and apply for the spousal visa. 

Do you by any chance know how much you are expected to have in the UK per month to qualify you as not needing public funds? I think it is unfair, it seems like only the rich can be happy! Also where can i find a visa advisor or expediter? That also seems like a route to go. 

Thanks a ton Joppa you have been a load of help in this matter.


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> Joppa,
> 
> Thanks again you are the BEST! I have talked to SSI, they from what I understand that as long as my son makes his routine visits to his cardiologist and it is proven that he is still disabled then, I will continue to receive his benefits. But, I don't want to bank on that check forever. Just long enough for my fiancee to get on his feet. I had planned to bring my son back to the US every six months so he could be seen by his cardiologist. I know that he can not use his medicare in the UK. So, that is why I was planning to bring him every six months. Stay a few days then return. This is why I was kinda banking on the Long Term Visa which seems impossible at this moment. I wanted to help my boyfriend so that later I could come back home and maybe apply for the fiancee visa or get married and apply for the spousal visa.
> 
> ...


There is a fairly detailed breakdown of financial and accommodation requirements on UK Border Agency site: Maintenance & Accommodation (MAA)
Remember it's guidance only and doesn't have the force of law, but describes the criteria visa officers will use in coming to a decision.
I have no personal experience, but many have used A Briggs Expedite Passport and International Travel Visa Services - A Briggs
Well, most countries are under great political pressure to cut the number of immigrants and setting a fairly rigorous requirement will put off all but the most genuine and committed.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Joppa said:


> There is a fairly detailed breakdown of financial and accommodation requirements on UK Border Agency site: Maintenance & Accommodation (MAA)
> Remember it's guidance only and doesn't have the force of law, but describes the criteria visa officers will use in coming to a decision.
> I have no personal experience, but many have used A Briggs Expedite Passport and International Travel Visa Services - A Briggs
> Well, most countries are under great political pressure to cut the number of immigrants and setting a fairly rigorous requirement will put off all but the most genuine and committed.


Joppa, 

You are a God Sent, thank you so much for everything! Now, I am feeling more comfortable with the outcome. I think I might apply for the fiancee visa! I have been on the ukba.co.uk website a million times and have never paid attention to that link. 

Now, another question I wanted to ask you, you seem to be the semi expert in this area, LOL. Now, I was told that I could come into the country on a visitor visa and apply for something called a COA. I don't know what it mean but, you need it to get married in the UK. After we are married we could skip the $1200 and just pay for the spousal visa. Is this true, or should I just go about it with the fiancee visa?


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> Now, I was told that I could come into the country on a visitor visa and apply for something called a COA. I don't know what it mean but, you need it to get married in the UK. After we are married we could skip the $1200 and just pay for the spousal visa. Is this true, or should I just go about it with the fiancee visa?


No you cannot. Certificate of Approval is issued by Home Office to enable a non-EU citizen to marry in UK but not to settle afterwards. 
What you can do instead, and save money at the same time, is to get married in US and then apply for settlement visa as wife. That visa will be valid for at least two years and you can work in UK on arrival, saving you the cost and hassle of applying for Further Leave to Remain - FLR(M) - when you get married in UK. You have to allow for the cost of travel for your UK fiancé, however.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Joppa said:


> No you cannot. Certificate of Approval is issued by Home Office to enable a non-EU citizen to marry in UK but not to settle afterwards.
> What you can do instead, and save money at the same time, is to get married in US and then apply for settlement visa as wife. That visa will be valid for at least two years and you can work in UK on arrival, saving you the cost and hassle of applying for Further Leave to Remain - FLR(M) - when you get married in UK. You have to allow for the cost of travel for your UK fiancé, however.



Joppa, 

I am so in love with you right now, you are really a blessing. So, that is seeming even better.....his ticket might be cheaper than the $1200. Now, how long do we have to wait before we the spousal visa is approved? And does my spouse need any kind a visa to marry me here or could he just come and we get married? By any chance do you know how much a spousal visa cost? 

I will talk that idea over with him. He cannot stay too long cause he has to get back to his daughter. But, this is seeming like the way to go.


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> So, that is seeming even better.....his ticket might be cheaper than the $1200. Now, how long do we have to wait before we the spousal visa is approved? And does my spouse need any kind a visa to marry me here or could he just come and we get married? By any chance do you know how much a spousal visa cost?
> 
> I will talk that idea over with him. He cannot stay too long cause he has to get back to his daughter. But, this is seeming like the way to go.


Spouse visa can take up to 50 business days, but you can pay for priority service (USD 300) and get it processed within 15 business days (unless they need more time to consider it or they need further documents). 
https://www.visainfoservices.com/Pages/Content.aspx?Tag=Services_PAGE
Spouse visa costs the same as fiancée visa, but you are saving on second application in UK for FLR - 500 pounds or 800 pounds for same-day priority service. 
Your UK fiancé can just arrive on visa waiver, but check on what the local requirements are - some States require a blood test, for example.


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## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

We have a number of people here in the forum who have married in the US (far less hassle) and then gotten their spouse visa in a matter or a few days or weeks. You will need documents on your husband's financial resources, and it's possible for his mother to serve as a financial sponsor if she's willing to help you out at the start. Check the sources Joppa has given you for details on that.

Though I understand why you're both hesitant to marry, it's definitely the more economical route. Flying back to the US every six months with your boys is going to eat up considerably more than the cost of the fiancé visa every year you're there. And then to get married you'll have to return to the US in any event.

One thing you could do is to go over on the six month visitor visa (kind of like the visa waiver program in the US - and no cost) to try things out and see if your fiancé can find a job with you looking after the daughter. At the end of the six months, you'll have to return to the US to get married and/or apply for your spousal visa, plus wrap things up for your official move to the UK. If, for any reason, things don't work out you're still officially resident in the US and can simply return.
Cheers,
Bev


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## bunty16 (Sep 26, 2009)

Joppa said:


> Spouse visa can take up to 50 business days, but you can pay for priority service (USD 300) and get it processed within 15 business days (unless they need more time to consider it or they need further documents).
> https://www.visainfoservices.com/Pages/Content.aspx?Tag=Services_PAGE
> Spouse visa costs the same as fiancée visa, but you are saving on second application in UK for FLR - 500 pounds or 800 pounds for same-day priority service.
> Your UK fiancé can just arrive on visa waiver, but check on what the local requirements are - some States require a blood test, for example.


Hi I do hope you get to be together, but reading your posts leaves me with concerns, despite what you say, you are both dependant on benefits, this country is almost on it's knees, and you need to demonstrate that you are going to contribute in some way. I have not seen you write how you can contribute, and your boyfriend needs to get off his backside and get any job he can, having a three year old child and being a single parent does not wash as many single parents have to work, he sounds like he has family, so childcare maybe can be at least part provided by them, also the child should be having nursery provision. When you are on job-seekers allowance you can work around 16 hours and earn up to £95.00 a week before they stop this, by him doing something will demonstrate his willingness to play his part till things get better for you both. The loopehole is clear, you plan to lie to the authorities about where you plan to live, sorry to be harsh, but you need to be honest, and if you cannot be honest, stay in the USA till things improve, then when your boyfriend is supporting himself and his child, come over, it sounds as though it will be worth doing, have patience, listen a bit more to your head, not your heart, and I really hope that in the end coming over here works for you and all the children involved.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Bevdeforges said:


> We have a number of people here in the forum who have married in the US (far less hassle) and then gotten their spouse visa in a matter or a few days or weeks. You will need documents on your husband's financial resources, and it's possible for his mother to serve as a financial sponsor if she's willing to help you out at the start. Check the sources Joppa has given you for details on that.
> 
> Though I understand why you're both hesitant to marry, it's definitely the more economical route. Flying back to the US every six months with your boys is going to eat up considerably more than the cost of the fiancé visa every year you're there. And then to get married you'll have to return to the US in any event.
> 
> ...



Thanks Bev, 

I like what you had to say. You must have been reading our minds cause we discussed this last night. We decided to go with what you said. 

I will fly out to the UK on the general visitor visa in February with the boys. We will stay until July. That way schools will be closing and they won't miss much. Also, I will be there to take care of his daughter while he works. We want to save up and rent a house together and get the money up for a spousal visa. Then we will all come back to New Jersey in July with all the children for a small holiday. Where ever he gains employment he will ask for this on spot so their is no problem. We want to come back get married and apply for the spousal visa. At least then we can prove we can care for ourselves. 

We really want to have everything ready by August so we can get back home and start preparing the kids for school. 

And yea, as you said if anything goes wrong we can always just ended and and I return home. So thanks you Bev, you and Joppa have been the best on this forum. I feel much better about the outcome now.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

bunty16 said:


> Hi I do hope you get to be together, but reading your posts leaves me with concerns, despite what you say, you are both dependant on benefits, this country is almost on it's knees, and you need to demonstrate that you are going to contribute in some way. I have not seen you write how you can contribute, and your boyfriend needs to get off his backside and get any job he can, having a three year old child and being a single parent does not wash as many single parents have to work, he sounds like he has family, so childcare maybe can be at least part provided by them, also the child should be having nursery provision. When you are on job-seekers allowance you can work around 16 hours and earn up to £95.00 a week before they stop this, by him doing something will demonstrate his willingness to play his part till things get better for you both. The loopehole is clear, you plan to lie to the authorities about where you plan to live, sorry to be harsh, but you need to be honest, and if you cannot be honest, stay in the USA till things improve, then when your boyfriend is supporting himself and his child, come over, it sounds as though it will be worth doing, have patience, listen a bit more to your head, not your heart, and I really hope that in the end coming over here works for you and all the children involved.


Bunty,

Thank you for your input. But, you are making us sound like a lazy bunch. I am not on benefits because I am lazy or want to. If that was the case I would be collecting welfare here in the States. Cause we do have it for people who are lazy. But, I hold a BA and I and only home with my children cause I choose to be. It is my choice to be a stay-at-home mom. And these benefits I collect A) majority comes from my ex-husband and father of my children. Since we are not together it is his duty to take care of his children financially. What I am suppose to let him go high and dry and I care for the children myself that we had together while in a relationship? No, he has to pay, I did not make the boys alone. I did not ask him for alimony but, child support, yes! 

As for the benefits I get from the State for my sons disability. That is because for the rest of his life he will need treatment that I cannot pay for and he will not be able to do things like all other children. He has major issues with his heart that I am grateful for the government for. And if you read the previous post you would have read that I told Joppa, I did not intend to collect anymore from the government once I am settled and we are good. Cause, at that point I plan on taking him to a Cardiologist in the UK. At, this point, we have to use what we can to be together. 

Also, my boyfriend is not a lazy bum either, you should not speak on things when you don't know the outcome. His daughter is in school she goes from 8.45 to 11.45 not enough time to go to work. He can not afford after care cause the money he gets from public funds has to be spent on their care. Food, Bills, Transport and so on. As, I said he has two children. He is in court at the moment trying to get custody of both. And since they are in court the mother still receives the benefit of both the children until the judge makes a decision. So, he is doing what he can at the moment. He is also, a qualified electrician. He was in school to get he qualifications when he had to take on his daughter so money has not been saved for that expense. As, I said you don't know the reasoning behind anything and you shouldn't make judgement the way you did. I asked for advice either you give it or you don't. But, you don't have to judge people when you not know the circumstances. As, for his family they all work. They are not going to quit their jobs in order to watch a child. No one was expecting that he would have to take on custody of his daughter it just happened and he stepped up as a MAN and took responsibility so I applaud him. 

The point of me coming was to help him so he can get on his feet, thanks. I thank Bev and I thank Joppa cause they came up with advice ways to go about this situation. And, yes, I was going to lie about where I was going to sleep, shoot me. His mother has a spare room. It is of our interest to use it if we can. But, I am coming to the UK to help him. Please, you make it seem like you walk a straight line with all the laws. I would rather go with the advice Bev and Joppa gave. Thank you Bunty for your input but, that is all I can say.


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## bunty16 (Sep 26, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> Bunty,
> 
> Thank you for your input. But, you are making us sound like a lazy bunch. I am not on benefits because I am lazy or want to. If that was the case I would be collecting welfare here in the States. Cause we do have it for people who are lazy. But, I hold a BA and I and only home with my children cause I choose to be. It is my choice to be a stay-at-home mom. And these benefits I collect A) majority comes from my ex-husband and father of my children. Since we are not together it is his duty to take care of his children financially. What I am suppose to let him go high and dry and I care for the children myself that we had together while in a relationship? No, he has to pay, I did not make the boys alone. I did not ask him for alimony but, child support, yes!
> 
> ...


Sorry you did not like my response, but you enter this site at your own risk! you do not seem fully prepared for what lies ahead, and if you think my words were tough, wait till you arrive, I don't recall saying that you were lazy, but I confirm your boyfriend could try harder, my son has been in a similar situation and would not give in so easily, there is a way out of this before you arrive in the UK, and alarm bells ring out that all will not be well for you and your children, the advice may not have been what you wanted to hear, but I have worked in mental health for 40 years, listening to all types of complicated family stories, and difficulties, believe me, the struggle to get your visa will be like a walk in the park, take off the rose tinted glasses despite how difficult this may be, see your boyfriend taking some responsibility before you take your children across the atlantic, away from all they know to a stressful difficult situation with very little money. It seems he is waiting for you to arrive to be able to move on, not a recipe for success, I really do hope things work out for you, but just don't rush it, time will tell. A final word of warning, you may have an agreement for your ex to continue paying may turn out to be another complication as he may have the right to reduce/stop payments if they are out of the country despite promises made, ensure that you have this secured legally before you leave as having this money taken away will have a serious impact on your finances, and could lead to further stress on you. As I have said, this advice is sent with you and your children's welfare in mind.


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## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

OK, let's chill out here a bit. Bunty is telling the truth about the situation - certainly how many in the UK may perceive advice_needed's circumstances - and it's certainly no worse than what I've heard lots of Americans say about people looking to come live in America with similar "complicated" situations and hard luck stories but who didn't quite fulfill the visa requirements or didn't have the money for the type of visa they needed.

In some ways, it's something you need to be conscious of when you're a newcomer to a foreign country. I had a woman here in France accuse me of coming to France solely to sponge off the health care system when I mentioned I'd had immigration problems and said nice things about the health care system in the same conversation.
Cheers,
Bev


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> Bunty,
> 
> Thank you for your input. But, you are making us sound like a lazy bunch. I am not on benefits because I am lazy or want to. If that was the case I would be collecting welfare here in the States. Cause we do have it for people who are lazy. But, I hold a BA and I and only home with my children cause I choose to be. It is my choice to be a stay-at-home mom. And these benefits I collect A) majority comes from my ex-husband and father of my children. Since we are not together it is his duty to take care of his children financially. What I am suppose to let him go high and dry and I care for the children myself that we had together while in a relationship? No, he has to pay, I did not make the boys alone. I did not ask him for alimony but, child support, yes!
> 
> ...




Sorry I have to agree with Bunty... there are not many weeks that pass but someone is asking how they can live in the U.K and what benefits they can have.
You have stated that you will take your son to a cardiologist when you arrive in the U.K.. are you going to pay for this privately? 
Your boyfriend if he wanted could get on his feet without someone flying in from America and bringing their children... Are you going to put your children into private education? Or will the British taxpayer pick this bill up for you?
Feeding and clothing both you and your children will be a lot more money than childcare would be.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Ok,

Thanks everyone for their input. I am sorry, if it may seem like whatever everyone might think it sounds. It is a complicated a touchy matter. I have already spent lots of money travelling to the UK and him flying here. It is just a few months ago that he finished school and took custody of his daughter. He, never thought he was going to have to be a single father, it was always thought that their mother would care for ther children. Now, this issue I had is turning into something else. 

My problem was basically which visa would be better for I could help him out. I tried to explain the situation to the best of my ability. I am pretty sure that their are a load of people in the UK living off of public funds. I am sure their are loads of people in the UK who had the money to pay for the fiancee visa and entered the country on false pretense. I did not even want to come into the country full time, I was fine with leaving every 6 months so that my children father could see them and I could see my family. 

The bottom line is I love my boyfriend and I would do whatever to help him when, I see him in a tight situation all this having his daughter full-time is new to him since he just got her in July. Sorry MaidenScotland but, I never said that I will take my son to the cardiologist when I arrive in the UK. I explained to Joppa that I will continue to take him to his cardiologist in the US, that would be the only way I will be able to continue to collect his benefits (from the US not UK taxpayers). So, every 6 months I would leave and come back. I did not say anything about taking him to a cardiologist in the UK unti/if we became British Residents and were entitled to that service like any other Resident this yes, I would take him. But, I planned on bringing to the US for his treatment at his cardiologist. 

If my children going to a public school is going to be such a burden on the government and the public funds, then I could always home school them. I was home schooled and turned out fine. The 2 younger ones are being prepared for school by me. So, I don't want to use any funds of the UK that I am not suppose to and I will take that into consideration since my children getting and education in public schools will be a drain on the economy. 

I am very open to criticism and weighing out the option but, it is a difference when someone is judging and adding extra to the situation. I am not and again I will say, I am not coming into the UK in order to rely on public funds. I have money that I have access too from the US, enough money to get by every month. I am trying to help my boyfriend get off of public funds, I thought that would be a positive? But, it seems people rather him be on public funds then to get help from the US. If, I had the money, I would send him it to put his daughter in after care while he went to work. When. you love and care about someone you do things to help them get out of the situation they are in. 

I understand everyone concerns and I thank you all for your inputs. But, please realize. That never once did I say I wanted to receive public funds. Never once did I say I wanted to tote my children across the Atlantic and use the taxpayers dollars. Never once! 

I will go with Bev, idea cause it is the best and we can also see how the children will get along. And I can see if he really will get off his ass and work or if he just wanted me there so he can have someone watch his daughter and be his made. After the time is over I will take myself and my children back into my country where, I was living fine and stress free. If, he does start to work and things start to look positive we will go from there. But, for the 2 weeks I was there this month and I saw how he tried to go to interviews and his sister or mother would not watch his daughter for a little while. I was able to see that he needed my help. It is hard for him and he is new to this. 

Again thank you all. If you want to continue to put your input, then go right ahead as Bunty said it is an open forum, I can''t stop you. But, I have made up my mind and I will do what I have to do in order to see if marrying and moving permanently is a good idea. It would be nice for my boys to see something new and learn bits of another culture. So, I see this 6 month plan while he get on his feet is the best. Again, thanks for all your input. 

Bev and Joppa thanks for all your advice it was greatly appreciated.

T


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

You did say you were going to a cardiologist in the Uk

". Cause, at that point I plan on taking him to a Cardiologist in the UK. At, this point, we have to use what we can to be together. 

My problem with your situation is that you seem to be saying that you are only going to the UK in order to help your boyfriend get of benefits and save the tax payer money when in fact you will be costing the tax payer money by using the health system and schools 

I am against the constant drain on the tax payer in the U.K by people who have never paid a penny into the system.

What you are planning to do is illegal and asking for us to help you with advice to achieve this goes against the grain.


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## bunty16 (Sep 26, 2009)

MaidenScotland said:


> You did say you were going to a cardiologist in the Uk
> 
> ". Cause, at that point I plan on taking him to a Cardiologist in the UK. At, this point, we have to use what we can to be together.
> 
> ...


This whole situation worries me a great deal, and I agree with maiden scotland re inconsistancies in what you said, please think of your sons, it may not be possible to fly back if funds are limited, and I am sorry, he may let you down, your money may flitter away, you say he has ust left school, is he very young? are you both of a similar age or is he much younger, please please listen to the voices of maturity and experience, it does not give me any pleasure to 'rain on your parade'.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

MaidenScotland said:


> You did say you were going to a cardiologist in the Uk
> 
> ". Cause, at that point I plan on taking him to a Cardiologist in the UK. At, this point, we have to use what we can to be together.
> 
> ...



MaidenScotland, 

I am sorry, that you mistook what I was saying to Joppa after he gave me advice on something that seemed a bit better. If you would have read all of the threads you would have come across this one : "I had planned to bring my son back to the US every six months so he could be seen by his cardiologist. I know that he can not use his medicare in the UK. So, that is why I was planning to bring him every six months. Stay a few days then return. This is why I was kinda banking on the Long Term Visa which seems impossible at this moment."

I never attend to come into the country and use the healthcare. My son already receives free healthcare here because of his heart. Healthcare is free in the UK as I understand it and in order for me to apply for a fiancee visa I would have had to prove that I myself and my dependents would not need to use public funds in order for that to happen he would need a job. I never said that I wanted to come into the country illegally and take my son to the cardiologist for free. I intended from the beginning of my first post to bring him home every 6 months and take him to his cardiologist.

You are taken a comment I made if, my fiancee and I were married and he was working and then yes, I would have been entitled to that service cause my fiancee/husband is paying his taxes. I am sorry that you misunderstood my attentions. I am not trying to come into the country and take anything I am not entitled to. While I am there I will have access to $1600 each month. I don't need anything from the government. I honestly just want to help my boyfriend get on his feet and get off of public funds. I now decided to come into the country on the 6 month visitor visa and leave when my time is up. If we still want to get married after that then, we will do it by the law. I never said anything about breaking any laws or doing anything illegal. In fact, what you saying are not my attentions. As, I said my son gets free medical treatment in the US. It would be impossible for me to come into England and take my children to the doctors for check-ups free of charge, I have no NHS number. If any of my children are myself get sick then yes, I will take them to his family GP and I will pay for any cost for their treatment cause I will have to. But, for my son and his treatment with his heart will be taken care of in the US. I promise you this. As, I said that statement that you are quoting is, if/when he is working and I am their as a British Resident. You get me? As for the school thing. I tried to explain that to you. Yes, I wanted to send them to school for the 6 months that we are there. If, it is considered illegal then, I doubt I will be able to enroll them into any of the public schools and if I can't I don't mind home schooling them. I prefer to home school my children anyway. Do you get what I am saying? Is this making any sense to you? If they are allowed to attend school which they are since the Headmistress of the school said that I can enroll them in the school. Then I don't understand the problem. When they say I can not gain access to public funds, they are talking about welfare, and housing. School is for everyone. But, as I said if you and others feel this strong, I will home school my children as I was. 

I see that you have some kinda resentment to immigrants what is expected. I too and annoyed when people come into the US and use the funds that taxpayers have to pay for and they do nothing but collect and get more than the Americans who really need it. But, this is not my intention, I promise you that. As you said I don't want to take anything that I did not put a penny into. When my boyfriends starts working and I am a British Resident this yes, I don't see the problem with collecting benefits that are their for the Residents. I do not want to tap into the welfare system cause I have never tapped into the welfare system here. And, I won't tap into the welfare system. Hopefully, when we cross that bridge if I come back into the country as my boyfriends wife. Then, he will pay his taxes for the children and I to live. When all the children are in school full time I will like to go to work in my field in order to put into the economy.

I never asked for advice of how to do anything illegal. I was basically asking if I can come into the country on a Long Term Visitor Visa when I leave the country every 6 months how long will I have to stay out of the country. That was my question! Or should I go for the fiancee visa in our situation if anyone thought we would be denied because of the circumstances. I had said from the beginning I am coming into the country cause I want to help my boyfriend get on his feet. I am hesitant to marry him cause just 3 years ago we both got out of serious relationships. I just wanted to basically help him and see, if we could all live together as a family. 

I understand your hostility but you are mistaking me. My attentions is not to take anything from your government for free. Maybe just school for my children but, if that is a major issue I will home school them. I don't want to piss anyone off thinking that I am trying to take anything from their country that I do not deserve or am entitled to. So, I please wish that you would read carefully over everything I asked and said.


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> MaidenScotland,
> 
> I am sorry, that you mistook what I was saying to Joppa after he gave me advice on something that seemed a bit better. If you would have read all of the threads you would have come across this one : "I had planned to bring my son back to the US every six months so he could be seen by his cardiologist. I know that he can not use his medicare in the UK. So, that is why I was planning to bring him every six months. Stay a few days then return. This is why I was kinda banking on the Long Term Visa which seems impossible at this moment."
> 
> ...




Deary me... maybe just schooling for my children... do you know how much this cost the taxpayer.... so yes it is a big deal to me... btw it is not you personally it is everyone that goes to the UK and costs us money that annoy me


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

bunty16 said:


> This whole situation worries me a great deal, and I agree with maiden scotland re inconsistancies in what you said, please think of your sons, it may not be possible to fly back if funds are limited, and I am sorry, he may let you down, your money may flitter away, you say he has ust left school, is he very young? are you both of a similar age or is he much younger, please please listen to the voices of maturity and experience, it does not give me any pleasure to 'rain on your parade'.


Bunty, 

I now actually appreciate you. I understand what you are saying and why you are saying it. As, I said I plan on just coming into the country for 6 months now just to see what can happen. To see if he really is looking for assistance for he can work and be independent or if he just wants too have me there to be the mother of his child and his maid. I am flying into the country on a roundtrip ticket so I def have a ticket back home and I paid the extra fee in case I need to change my flight details. 

My sons are always my number one concern and if I thought at anytime they would not benefit or be hurt from this I would not come. He is older than me. I am 28 he is 35. He didn't start to want to get his self on the right path until after his oldest daughter was born then he went to school cause he wanted to provide for her. 

As, I said Bunty, it is actually nice and feels good to know that you have the concern of me and my children then just the concern of what we will do to the economy. It is like having an online parent, and I thank you. I am listening to your concerns and taking them into consideration. That is why, I want to go with the 6 month stay. If, things are not good by then at least I know I did what I could and tried. I will also, where our relationship is going and as Bev said if it is not good, I can go home and never look back. And all the money for these extra visas will not have been used.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

MaidenScotland said:


> Deary me... maybe just schooling for my children... do you know how much this cost the taxpayer.... so yes it is a big deal to me... btw it is not you personally it is everyone that goes to the UK and costs us money that annoy me


And as I said, I will home school them, I am not against home school my children. I was home schooled from the age of 4 to the age of 14. Their are actual benefits in home schooling and it might be a better route in case things don't work out at least they will be taught by the North American Curriculum.

It seems you are taking your aggressions out on my thread and I am sorry you feel this way. I will not use anything from the taxpayers so, I will get the needed items I need before leaving for the UK and home school my children while I am there. I do not want to be frowned down upon from society cause I do not have any evil attention with my plan to come to the UK. I am not trying to cost you or any other British Citizen. I am sorry, that my concern has brought this much trouble. 

All, I wanted was to help someone I care deeply about out. Never wanted to annoy anyone.


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## bunty16 (Sep 26, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> Bunty,
> 
> I now actually appreciate you. I understand what you are saying and why you are saying it. As, I said I plan on just coming into the country for 6 months now just to see what can happen. To see if he really is looking for assistance for he can work and be independent or if he just wants too have me there to be the mother of his child and his maid. I am flying into the country on a roundtrip ticket so I def have a ticket back home and I paid the extra fee in case I need to change my flight details.
> 
> ...


I hope it all works out for you, the return ticket is great, your safety net shoulkd things go wrong.


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## srw01 (Nov 30, 2010)

advice_needed said:


> Thanks Bev,
> 
> I like what you had to say. You must have been reading our minds cause we discussed this last night. We decided to go with what you said.
> 
> ...


I wish you well ,in all this but I am confused: You can't really afford to pay for any sort of visa, but in ashort few months of boyfriend getting a job, you expect him to have enough money to pay for rent on a bigger house, the spousal visa, and a short holiday back to US, 2 adults/ 3 kids. the financial part of this does not weign up at all.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

srw01 said:


> I wish you well ,in all this but I am confused: You can't really afford to pay for any sort of visa, but in ashort few months of boyfriend getting a job, you expect him to have enough money to pay for rent on a bigger house, the spousal visa, and a short holiday back to US, 2 adults/ 3 kids. the financial part of this does not weign up at all.


Well, at the present I get money every month, I am not poor. I can afford to pay the $700 for the Long Term Visa. I have enough money in the bank for the Fiancee Visa but, don't want to run the risk of being denied and then being out of $1200. Who wants to just throw away that kind of money? When, I come to the UK for the 6 months I will still have access to the same amount of money I was collecting in the US. Since, I won't being paying bills, auto insurance, or any other expenses I accumulate monthly we can both save. Both, get a place. I am flying to the UK on a return ticket so I will have a ticket to come home with. If we decide that we want to get married after 6 months then he will get himself a ticket. With the money that I have been saving for 6 months I can afford to purchase tickets to fly back to the UK after we are married (if that is the choice that we made). He will have to help with the spousal visa yes, cause everything can not fall on me. If he wants me there it is only right that he helps me get back! 

Thank you very much for your well wishes and I hope I cleared up some of your concern. I know that everything is not peachy but, these are things you do when you are in love. I am also a pro with saving. I am a pro with budget shopping. Basically, I know how to save money !


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## bunty16 (Sep 26, 2009)

advice_needed said:


> Well, at the present I get money every month, I am not poor. I can afford to pay the $700 for the Long Term Visa. I have enough money in the bank for the Fiancee Visa but, don't want to run the risk of being denied and then being out of $1200. Who wants to just throw away that kind of money? When, I come to the UK for the 6 months I will still have access to the same amount of money I was collecting in the US. Since, I won't being paying bills, auto insurance, or any other expenses I accumulate monthly we can both save. Both, get a place. I am flying to the UK on a return ticket so I will have a ticket to come home with. If we decide that we want to get married after 6 months then he will get himself a ticket. With the money that I have been saving for 6 months I can afford to purchase tickets to fly back to the UK after we are married (if that is the choice that we made). He will have to help with the spousal visa yes, cause everything can not fall on me. If he wants me there it is only right that he helps me get back!
> 
> Thank you very much for your well wishes and I hope I cleared up some of your concern. I know that everything is not peachy but, these are things you do when you are in love. I am also a pro with saving. I am a pro with budget shopping. Basically, I know how to save money !


Despite me sending private message to support you, you do no seem to grasp what people are telling you, you will find it a struggle as you will have to truthfully declare where you are living, your boyfriend will have to declare that you are living with him, and if he cannot get a job straight away(we have a recession here still) he will have his benefits cuts as you have income, so how will you save, it all looks fine on paper, but in reality you chance going back with little to show for your money, I really do despair with you, and so now I am cutting ties with your link, so no more truthfull advice, you change your story frequently, so if you continue to be economical/inconsistant with the truth you risk deportation, and your boyfriend risks prison if he defrauds the benefit agency. Stay put till you are both financially independant. I will not be supporting you any further and post this so people will not waste any of their valuable time trying to help someone who is hell bent on going ahead, instead of being an adult and taking more responsibility.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

I want to apologize to anyone that I may have offended in my post. I think using loophole was not a good word. What I meant by "loophole" was a gap in they system. A way of legally going about something if placed in a situation if I wanted to permanently decided to stay in the UK with my boyfriend. I am not looking for any money of help from public funds. I was not going to stay in the country if my boyfriend did not find a job or make it seem like he didn't want to work just wanted me there for convenience. 

I also do not want to permanently move my children and myself to the UK and things are not right. I thought that going to the UK on a holiday will be the ideal idea cause then we can see how things work as a family unit. I can evaluate the situation and go from there without making things permanent. 

When I say that I we will rent a house together that is because A) he needs a bigger place then a 1 bedroom flat with his daughter a B) we all can not stay for 6 months cramped in a 1 bedroom flat. Their is no law saying that as a visitor I can not rent a house for the period of time that I am there. I just cannot intend on living their permanently. I don't see that I am doing anything illegally. I don't know how to explain to everyone in words my intentions. All, I can say is that I do not intend on staying in the country pass what my visitor visa allows. I will have access to money on a monthly basis that I was getting from the US and if need to prove this to the ECO I can. My intentions are to go to the UK and see if we can merge the 2 families together and make it work. The people who are reading this forum are thinking to much into what I am writing and saying in defense of myself. You think that I want to come into the country and splurge on your tax paying dollars and that is not it. I have never taken a dime from welfare here so, why would I want to come to another country and use your resources? To me that makes no sense. 

I do on the other hand want to spend more time with my boyfriend of 2 years then 4 months in a year. No of you know me but, you are taking judgement on me and I can understand why, I have placed my business on an open forum. I am being misquoted and taken wrongly. I am not a bad person nor am I lazy or a dependent on government finances. Neither is my boyfriend but, circumstances have made it this way for him and I just want to help him while I can get off of these benefits. If at the end of it he decides that he doesn't want to be with me or that he rather move on then I will take it with my head held high cause I did what I could to help him get out of his current situation. I do not mind returning home cause here I have a place. I have a home and I was paying my bills alone for 4 years. 

My thing is that you never know until you try. I understand wait here until things look financially better there but, then what move my children to the UK not knowing if we could live together or if all the children will get along? Then what I am stuck in a country and have changed my children life permanently. Cause applying for a Fiancee Visa then Spousal Visa is a permanent move. The Guidelines for the Fiancee VIsa clearly state that we have to intend to permanently live together. And how do we know if we can do that if we have never lived together for more than 3 months? And it was 3 months before he got custody of his daughter and while I was without my children. So, we were basically 2 single adults living together for 3 months which is easy to do when children are not brought into the equation. 

I really hope that you all have a slight understand of what I am saying. I am not seeking approval from anyone I was just looking for advice of which I got. Do no go for a long term permanent visa. Go for a visitor visa on the visa waiver free program and go from there. But, do it the legitimate way. If we decide to get marry come to the US since it is easier here. And that was the loophole I was looking for! So, thanks you all but, now this link has gone above and beyond and I am basically being cussed and frowned down upon by people who don't know me or know my intentions.


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## Joppa (Sep 7, 2009)

Just a further piece of advice.
The Border Agency really don't like people doing a 'trial' living together on their visitor's leave. They fear that such people may decide to stay on illegally or get a job. There are plenty of people who now live in UK illegally having outstayed their welcome, a million people by latest reckoning but nobody knows, so they are on a lookout for those who may overstay or break other terms of their visa condition. When confronted with a sight of a young woman with a child, return flight booked for 6 months ahead and going to live with her boyfriend to see if things will work out, it will raise a lot of questions in their mind. A return flight to US isn't a conclusive proof you will leave UK because many people just fly one way and throw away the return portion, as return flights are usually cheaper than one-way flights. So to raise your chances of a smooth passage, you need to have a cast-iron reason for needing to return to US, such as a definite appointment to see your child's MD (carry a letter from hospital), home or job to return to (letter from your boss, rental agreement or mortgage statement), and maximum length of time you can be away from US to keep your benefit payment (letter from your paying agency). Don't describe him as your boyfriend but just a good friend, who has offered to let you stay while you are in UK on holiday. 6 months is a long time to be on holiday, and they will want to know what you are going to do over here, so have some rough plans of visits and sightseeing, and proof of funds so you won't run short of money and be tempted to get a job or apply for welfare benefits. They may ask about your child's education, so carry evidence of home schooling, and a notorised letter from the child's father consenting to being taken to UK, and a court document about your parental responsibility. Plus medical insurance while in UK.
While there is no 100% sure way of guaranteeing smooth passage, you can do a lot to reduce your chances of being detained on arrival and refused entry.


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## advice_needed (Nov 27, 2010)

Joppa said:


> Just a further piece of advice.
> The Border Agency really don't like people doing a 'trial' living together on their visitor's leave. They fear that such people may decide to stay on illegally or get a job. There are plenty of people who now live in UK illegally having outstayed their welcome, a million people by latest reckoning but nobody knows, so they are on a lookout for those who may overstay or break other terms of their visa condition. When confronted with a sight of a young woman with a child, return flight booked for 6 months ahead and going to live with her boyfriend to see if things will work out, it will raise a lot of questions in their mind. A return flight to US isn't a conclusive proof you will leave UK because many people just fly one way and throw away the return portion, as return flights are usually cheaper than one-way flights. So to raise your chances of a smooth passage, you need to have a cast-iron reason for needing to return to US, such as a definite appointment to see your child's MD (carry a letter from hospital), home or job to return to (letter from your boss, rental agreement or mortgage statement), and maximum length of time you can be away from US to keep your benefit payment (letter from your paying agency). Don't describe him as your boyfriend but just a good friend, who has offered to let you stay while you are in UK on holiday. 6 months is a long time to be on holiday, and they will want to know what you are going to do over here, so have some rough plans of visits and sightseeing, and proof of funds so you won't run short of money and be tempted to get a job or apply for welfare benefits. They may ask about your child's education, so carry evidence of home schooling, and a notorised letter from the child's father consenting to being taken to UK, and a court document about your parental responsibility. Plus medical insurance while in UK.
> While there is no 100% sure way of guaranteeing smooth passage, you can do a lot to reduce your chances of being detained on arrival and refused entry.



OMG, thank you for the advice Joppa. I appreciate it! I can bring a letter from my sons cardiologist saying that I have to return to the US in 6 months in order to take him to his routine appointment. I can also show proof that I own a home and pay the yearly mortgage on it. It is also no problem to get a letter from SSI proving that payments will be directly deposited into my account on the 1st of each month as long as proof is being made that my son still qualifies as disabled. 

I understand what you are saying and will take heed to it. Thank you so much you and Bev have been the best at this situation.


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## Lilium Bella (Sep 7, 2010)

*Do not recommend being on visitors visa*

Hello, I just want to share my experience, if that can help. I have been dating an English guy and came to England to be with him on visitor's visa, but with that you can not have any benefits (such as NHS), and you have to go back to your country after visitor's visa has expired. Fiancee visa is expensive, plus you need to marry within 6 monthes. If you do not show a desire to get married, that visa will expire and you will have to go back to the US. We got married in Vegas, and I received my spouse visa in a month after I applied to it. It still costs almost 1000 pounds. If your bf can not go to states to marry you, it will be a problem, because you can not marry in England unless you are already on a fiancee visa. So if you are coming as a fiancee, you will have to pay that 1000 twice (once for fiancee visa and once more for marriage visa). If you do not wish to marry, you might wanna try living here as a visitor for a while to see if that works out for you. But you will feel as a visitor and may have more difficulties, with school, doctors, etc.


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