# Am outraged....



## BoredSara (Nov 15, 2008)

Ok, so, I apologise in advance for the rant, but I really need to vent….I took my 20 month old son Kiyan to a soft play area in Fardan center in Sharjah yesterday. All was going well, until a woman approached my son with her son of about the same age. Kiyan was standing in a little playhouse minding his own business. This woman asks her son if this was the boy, her son said yes, and the woman motioned to him says yallah, beat him. 

I immediately ran over and said, why is he hitting my son, to which she replied, your son hit my son first, and he has to learn to defend himself..!!! Not sure what her definition of defend is, but accompanying her son over to mine, while he is quietly playing by himself, then standing back and letting him repeatedly hit mine is pretty twisted if you ask me. Poor Kiyan just stood and did nothing, probably as shocked at the situation as I was. Now, my son is no angel, but I did not see him hit this boy at any time, and even if he did, isnt that what young kids do?? I told the woman if he did hit him, you come and tell me, and Kiyan will apologise, but to respond by telling her son to hit mine? I am still fuming as I write this, and am disgusted at this woman’s so called parenting skills. Does anyone else think her behaviour was out of order, or is it just the over protective mother in me kicking in??


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

I'm hypothesizing here, was the other mother of Arab descent?


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## BoredSara (Nov 15, 2008)

Andy Capp said:


> I'm hypothesizing here, was the other mother of Arab descent?


Yep, however did you guess..??


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

It wasn't difficult and that's the way they're taught, if someone hits you or yours you need to take revenge, and the revenge is always greater than the initial insult.

Apart from when the other kid's bigger than them, and then they skulk off in the corner and make pointless remonstrations to a world that doesn't trust them but needs their oil... 

And yes, before the PC brigade jump on my back, I am generalising, "I have many good friends that are Arabs"...


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## BoredSara (Nov 15, 2008)

Ok, this was by no means an attack on where the parent was from. My husband is Arabic, so before everyone starts, no, Im not racist in any way.

It was her actions as a mother than shocked me. Can you imagine how she would have felt if the situation was reversed.


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## Andy Capp (Oct 5, 2008)

Teaching that violence is the solution at 20 months or so of age?

No wonder the world is a seriously screwed place.


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## teinesamoa (Aug 3, 2008)

Poor Kiyan!

Your reaction to seeing your kid being slapped around by another kid on his mothers instructions is completely justified. What kind of mother does that? Actually _teaches_ her child to be violent? She was completely out of order and you were perfectly right to put her in her place. How dare she harm another child albeit through her own . Even if Kiyan had hit her kid, like you said, she should have come to you and explained the situation. Not "taken the law into her own hands".

Horrible woman (I have a few choice words but they sound better outloud then on paper!)


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## BoredSara (Nov 15, 2008)

teinesamoa said:


> Poor Kiyan!
> 
> Your reaction to seeing your kid being slapped around by another kid on his mothers instructions is completely justified. What kind of mother does that? Actually _teaches_ her child to be violent? She was completely out of order and you were perfectly right to put her in her place. How dare she harm another child albeit through her own . Even if Kiyan had hit her kid, like you said, she should have come to you and explained the situation. Not "taken the law into her own hands".
> 
> Horrible woman (I have a few choice words but they sound better outloud then on paper!)


Thankyou, needed to hear that. I have posted this on a similar site, where I have been told I am angry because my son is a wimp and didnt hit back..??

Guess there are just some twisted people out there, and unfortunately they cross our paths at some time or another.


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## teinesamoa (Aug 3, 2008)

BoredSara said:


> Thankyou, needed to hear that. I have posted this on a similar site, where I have been told I am angry because my son is a wimp and didnt hit back..??
> 
> Guess there are just some twisted people out there, and unfortunately they cross our paths at some time or another.



What the hell? 

Those people? Twisted and living on a parrallel universe


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## stevieboy1980 (Sep 9, 2008)

you should of hit her


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## mr.alsuwaidi (Dec 3, 2008)

Yes, we can say what did she do is wrong, and her behave its like children. But why, why she behave like this. Maybe she is week in inside and something to do with her live that she doesn’t want her kids be like her. or maybe she has her theory if the kids tough when he kid it will be strong when he old. or maybe something to do with her culture (I’m sure she is not Emirati) because its rear they behave like this. But whatever the nationality don’t tech your kids it’s ok to beat someone or even an animal. Don’t teach him to be mean Don’t let him loss (mercy) what in his heart. Because no one will suffer this except the parents and his brothers. and her behavior its individual act you will see it around the world has nothing to do with (religion or nationality).


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

BoredSara

Just how many forums are you going to post this rant on?

-


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## BoredSara (Nov 15, 2008)

Elphaba said:


> BoredSara
> 
> Just how many forums are you going to post this rant on?
> 
> -


I belong to 2 forums, so posted on both. This one thankfully seems to be more civillized. 

And again, am merely asking for other peoples opinions.


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

BoredSara said:


> I belong to 2 forums, so posted on both. This one thankfully seems to be more civillized.
> 
> And again, am merely asking for other peoples opinions.


You mean people here are more sympathetic or they are saying what you want to hear?

It is an unfortunate situation, but I am not sure that it is relevant to this forum.

-


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## crazymazy1980 (Aug 2, 2008)

Why Not?

I think it's important to understand where cultures may possibly clash, at least then parents can keep an eye on it...?


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## BoredSara (Nov 15, 2008)

Elphaba said:


> You mean people here are more sympathetic or they are saying what you want to hear?
> 
> It is an unfortunate situation, but I am not sure that it is relevant to this forum.
> 
> -


I mean that here, no one has started to attack my son on a personal level, and have commented on the situation. I very clearly asked for people to comment on whether I am over reacting or not. 

As for being relevant, people post about all sorts of things on this forum. Whats wrong with mine??


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## lshilleto (Sep 30, 2008)

BoredSara said:


> Ok, so, I apologise in advance for the rant, but I really need to vent….I took my 20 month old son Kiyan to a soft play area in Fardan center in Sharjah yesterday. All was going well, until a woman approached my son with her son of about the same age. Kiyan was standing in a little playhouse minding his own business. This woman asks her son if this was the boy, her son said yes, and the woman motioned to him says yallah, beat him.
> 
> I immediately ran over and said, why is he hitting my son, to which she replied, your son hit my son first, and he has to learn to defend himself..!!! Not sure what her definition of defend is, but accompanying her son over to mine, while he is quietly playing by himself, then standing back and letting him repeatedly hit mine is pretty twisted if you ask me. Poor Kiyan just stood and did nothing, probably as shocked at the situation as I was. Now, my son is no angel, but I did not see him hit this boy at any time, and even if he did, isnt that what young kids do?? I told the woman if he did hit him, you come and tell me, and Kiyan will apologise, but to respond by telling her son to hit mine? I am still fuming as I write this, and am disgusted at this woman’s so called parenting skills. Does anyone else think her behaviour was out of order, or is it just the over protective mother in me kicking in??


Oh my god,you are a better person than me because i would have taken some drastic action myself,although that would'nt make me any better than her but would have sure felt good lol.
On a serious note though,what a scary world we live in when there are people out there that think that sort of behaviour is justified,they are teaching that to their children who in turn will teach their children and so on,i know this post was from a while ago but have'nt been on here for yonks & am catching up,hope your little boy has forgotten all about it bless him.


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## happyhour (Aug 11, 2008)

BoredSara said:


> I mean that here, no one has started to attack my son on a personal level, and have commented on the situation. I very clearly asked for people to comment on whether I am over reacting or not.
> 
> As for being relevant, people post about all sorts of things on this forum. Whats wrong with mine??


Bored Sara. What an awful situation for you and your son to be in. Think you dealt with it very well indeed. I have two sons and yes even the nicest kids occasionaly lash out for silly things - thats just kids. It's parents that need to teach them the right way. Certainly dragging her child over to hit out at your son is just plain awful, pretty sick actually. Maybe that was the way she was brought up but it is still wrong and I cannot justify it. I am extremely protective of mine but also understand that I can't cushion them to all bad things/events/people in life but certainly I wound have wanted to put her 6 foot under!

This is just my opinion and people give all sorts of opinions but I can't believe in this case people are so hard on you and your little boy. How dare someone say your son is a wimp etc live and learn what people can be like hey!

Hope you and your son are OK now.

Happyhour


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## rosco (Dec 22, 2008)

hope you are both ok

that is shocking i cant believe anyone can say that to someone so young. 

that are ways to tell you children to stand up for themselves


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## becks (Nov 4, 2008)

it is completely shocking! in my opinion, 2 wrongs do not make a right even if your child did hit him first.
this is awful that you had to deal with this, im not sure i would have reacted quite as calmly and as rationally as you did.


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## BoredSara (Nov 15, 2008)

To Ishilleto, happyhour, rosco and becks, thankyou for your posts. Hes fine thankyou, and I will be once the anger settles! All part of being a parent I guess. x


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## happyhour (Aug 11, 2008)

BoredSara said:


> To Ishilleto, happyhour, and rosco, thankyou for your posts. Hes fine thankyou, and I will be once the anger settles! All part of being a parent I guess. x


Your welcome. Glad your son is OK. I understand that you must be angry and I expect very upset. Being a parent sometimes means you see your precious children involved in situations which aren't nice - heartwrenching isn't it. But hopefully things like this are few and far between. Felt really angry myself just reading your post. Anyone who has been hard on you is either hard as nails or doesn't have children and can't imagine what it would of been like in your shoes. I send a hug to you both.

Happyhour


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## Pasanada (Feb 5, 2008)

An adult woman beating a child equals assault in my eyes (anyone beating a person of any age is assault!) but this is simply not acceptable. I would have knocked the ***** into next week and sod being arrested/deported/etc.....NO-ONE would smack a child of mine and think it's ok. 

I hope your son is well after this terrifying incident.


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## dzdoc (Oct 26, 2008)

Pasanada said:


> An adult woman beating a child equals assault in my eyes (anyone beating a person of any age is assault!) but this is simply not acceptable. I would have knocked the ***** into next week and sod being arrested/deported/etc.....NO-ONE would smack a child of mine and think it's ok.
> 
> I hope your son is well after this terrifying incident.


I am with you Pasanada. Boredsara you are a better woman than me. I would have kicked her *** and told her she better not ever walk down a dark alley at night but thats just the italian in our family coming out. What a world to teach that violence solves anything it only breeds more violence and that is not where the world needs to be.


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## lshilleto (Sep 30, 2008)

BoredSara said:


> To Ishilleto, happyhour, rosco and becks, thankyou for your posts. Hes fine thankyou, and I will be once the anger settles! All part of being a parent I guess. x


No worries,i am a parent to an 8 year old & a 16month old & i can understand your anger,its really hard to deal with other children & their parents on a day to day basis as every family have their own set of rules & values,but when you come across a parent who in my opinion has comlpete $%^^ for brains its pretty much impossible to appeal to them on any level,good for you for standing up for you & yours,being a parent is hard but the rewards you recieve far outway anything else,
kind regards
Lee


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## happyhour (Aug 11, 2008)

lshilleto said:


> No worries,i am a parent to an 8 year old & a 16month old & i can understand your anger,its really hard to deal with other children & their parents on a day to day basis as every family have their own set of rules & values,but when you come across a parent who in my opinion has comlpete $%^^ for brains its pretty much impossible to appeal to them on any level,good for you for standing up for you & yours,being a parent is hard but the rewards you recieve far outway anything else,
> kind regards
> Lee


Well Put Lee. You should see what she has been through on the other forum. There are some awful people out there.

Happyhour


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## lshilleto (Sep 30, 2008)

happyhour said:


> Well Put Lee. You should see what she has been through on the other forum. There are some awful people out there.
> 
> Happyhour


Cheers,
even some of the comments made by thoughtless people on this one made my blood boil,if you have'nt got anything nice to say & all that,
i bet if it happened to them they would'nt think it was that nice,
i do really think that some people get off on making others feel bad & if thats all they have in life then thats just sad,
its so much more rewarding to say something nice,but some people just have'nt got it in them i guess,
I'm just feeling all jolly today because my hubby & i have finally decided to go back to the costa del sol to live,yippee!


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## BoredSara (Nov 15, 2008)

lshilleto said:


> Cheers,
> even some of the comments made by thoughtless people on this one made my blood boil,if you have'nt got anything nice to say & all that,
> i bet if it happened to them they would'nt think it was that nice,
> i do really think that some people get off on making others feel bad & if thats all they have in life then thats just sad,
> ...


Hello, thankyou for your posts. Yes, unfortunately there really are some horrible people around. I am glad I posted this thread though, as it has also reminded me that there are some very decent people out there too!!

Thanks again, and good luck with the move.

Sara x


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## Xpat (Nov 12, 2008)

BoredSara said:


> Ok, so, I apologise in advance for the rant, but I really need to vent….I took my 20 month old son Kiyan to a soft play area in Fardan center in Sharjah yesterday. All was going well, until a woman approached my son with her son of about the same age. Kiyan was standing in a little playhouse minding his own business. This woman asks her son if this was the boy, her son said yes, and the woman motioned to him says yallah, beat him.
> 
> I immediately ran over and said, why is he hitting my son, to which she replied, your son hit my son first, and he has to learn to defend himself..!!! Not sure what her definition of defend is, but accompanying her son over to mine, while he is quietly playing by himself, then standing back and letting him repeatedly hit mine is pretty twisted if you ask me. Poor Kiyan just stood and did nothing, probably as shocked at the situation as I was. Now, my son is no angel, but I did not see him hit this boy at any time, and even if he did, isnt that what young kids do?? I told the woman if he did hit him, you come and tell me, and Kiyan will apologise, but to respond by telling her son to hit mine? I am still fuming as I write this, and am disgusted at this woman’s so called parenting skills. Does anyone else think her behaviour was out of order, or is it just the over protective mother in me kicking in??



God some ppl here are so uncultured......... actually many! They hit their children in public, pull their hair, those children open their mouths wide open and cry in public, take trolley and hit you while their parents look at your face.........
what can I say? The govnment here must spend money on improving the inner character than being ALL flashy.


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## gforce23 (Aug 3, 2008)

Hmm.. I would put that down to aberrant parenting skills rather than cultural values. 

Nevertheless, you set a great example by remaining calm and composed. I'm not married and have no kids, but if this were to happen to my kid brother, something that would have landed me in prison would have surely ensued.


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