# Going Home



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

We arrived in San Miguel de Allende on October 3rd. Awhile back I got warned about using Craigslist and the unlikelihood of finding a decent apartment and the perils of ****** landlords. We got lucky! While we live in a very working class neighborhood(fine by me), our apartment is the top floor of a 3 story house at the end of a nice dead end street with private entrance, large balcony with patio furniture, small balcony with world class view of the centro, boveda ceiling in bedroom, marble-like red tile floors with decorative design, and furnishings and decorations and artesania that would make a Santa Fe fanatic giddy. With water, trash, cable, electric, very good wi-fi, washing machine, and a very amiable landlord all for $450!

Inspite of all that my wife doesn't like it and we're heading home. We left decent paying jobs at 51(I had 4 weeks of vacation built up), because she was onboard and excited about living abroad before we got married Aug. 24th. We agreed to at least give Queretaro a try and spent two days trying to find an apartment. We were so worn out by the incredible traffic there that we decided to look elsewhere. We have been looking at various websites for apartments, but she finally made it clear that no matter how nice a place we find she wants to go back to the U.S.. We're leaving Monday morning.

I wanted to at least get a good meal before going back, so today we went to a well known gourmet burger place that's on the road to Dolores Hidalgo. Since we were close we went on to DH, and then on to Mineral de Pozos. Pozos is a neat little village but not for us, but Dolores Hidalgo we found extremely appealing. Part of the problem is she absolutely hates walking on narrow, steep, cobblestone streets with traffic. Dolores Hidalgo on the other hand is level, excellent sidewalks, isn't a traffic madhouse, and has enough tourist infrastructure to be fun and interesting. Being halfway between San Miguel and Guanajuato doesn't hurt either. I'm surprised more people haven't moved there. Nice centro too. But still, not enough to keep her here. So after reading so much about Mexico since the mid-90's and planning my escape from a corporate grindstone I can at least say I made it here. And everything I thought and hoped it would be it was. I did realize awhile back that it wouldn't mean as much to move down here alone, and assumed that everything would be twice as good sharing it with her. I love her dearly, and will move on to something else with her. But wanted to share with you the point that Mexico or other dreams just don't work unless both in a relationship feel the same. 

Buena Suerte,
Vaya con Dios,
Wade K.


----------



## GARYJ65 (Feb 9, 2013)

I'm very sorry to hear it did't work for you guys, moral here is: you should have read between the lines with your wife's opinion.
Regards


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

GARYJ65 said:


> I'm very sorry to hear it did't work for you guys, moral here is: you should have read between the lines with your wife's opinion.
> Regards


You're probably right. I gave her every chance to say let's don't go, we talked about it several times. She was certain this was a good thing, but admitted the culture shock was much more than she realized it would be. She's also a mom, and misses her 20 yr old daughter. Posters here have said Mexico isn't for everyone, and it's true.


----------



## terrybahena (Oct 3, 2011)

So sorry to hear it's not working out for you. You know my dream was to move to Mexico and live on the beach; I bought a house and 2 years later moved to it with my new husband. (This was down below Acapulco in Guerrero) I wanted to kill myself in under 6 months....I had a dream, fulfilled it, and found out I needed a new dream. Now for me, hubby is Mexican, so we tried the place he wanted to live, (Puerto Penasco Sonora), but it changed alot in the years since he'd been here...and we've been here about a year.....but we're moving in 2 weeks to Baja (Ensenada). We have agreed that if we decide that isn't the dream maker either, we'll figure out a way to go back to the states. 
So, we dream our dreams, some of us are lucky enough to try them out...and then we dream something else. You have a new adventure awaiting you. Together. You'll do it together. Buena suerte!

Oh and part of the Baja decision is we both really miss our kids....16, 20, & 28


----------



## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

vantexan said:


> You're probably right. I gave her every chance to say let's don't go, we talked about it several times. She was certain this was a good thing, but admitted the culture shock was much more than she realized it would be. She's also a mom, and misses her 20 yr old daughter. Posters here have said Mexico isn't for everyone, and it's true.


I'm also sorry to hear it didn't work out for you and your wife. Had she ever spent time in Mexico before moving there? Had she ever spent much time out of the States? These are factors that influence the ability of someone to adapt to life in a new country. For most of us it has taken a lot longer than the very short time (less than 2 months?) you have spent in Mexico.


----------



## Longford (May 25, 2012)

Destined to fail ... from the start.


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

Longford said:


> Destined to fail ... from the start.


If it were just me I would be very happy in SMA. When we reconnected after 31 years we talked about what we wanted out of life and she was very excited about my ideas and wanted to do it right away. We've been married 6 weeks, in SMA just over a week, and she is now certain that there's absolutely nothing that would convince her to want to stay. It is what it is.


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

Isla Verde said:


> I'm also sorry to hear it didn't work out for you and your wife. Had she ever spent time in Mexico before moving there? Had she ever spent much time out of the States? These are factors that influence the ability of someone to adapt to life in a new country. For most of us it has taken a lot longer than the very short time (less than 2 months?) you have spent in Mexico.


Thanks Isla, she spent 2 years in Korea in the army. And she does say that San Miguel has very nice parts and is interesting. She's a big city girl, found Queretaro much more interesting, but decided after a couple of days there Mexico is just too different for her.


----------



## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

vantexan said:


> Thanks Isla, she spent 2 years in Korea in the army. And she does say that San Miguel has very nice parts and is interesting. She's a big city girl, found Queretaro much more interesting, but decided after a couple of days there Mexico is just too different for her.


Being in the army in Korea is quite different from living in Mexico (or anywhere, for that matter) on your own. I guess it's better that she realized she couldn't live in Mexico after only two days instead of two months or years because then it would have been that much harder for you to leave. Oh, well, you can always come back for long holidays .


----------



## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Longford said:


> Destined to fail ... from the start.


That's rather a harsh judgment on your part, Longford.


----------



## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

I wish you the best in the future vantexan. 

I find your account a little hard to understand. One week seems like a very short time to spend before deciding something is good or bad. 

When I was first married, I moved my (now-ex) wife from the east coast of the US to the west coast. It sounds a little similar. She was unhappy at first and missed being close to her family. However, we stayed and 45 years later she still lives on the west coast even though we have been divorced for 20 years and she could have moved if she wanted. Of course, that change was much smaller than the one you attempted. And people are different.

In any event, I hope it all works out well.


----------



## Longford (May 25, 2012)

Dr. Mark Ehrlich has written about transitional anxiety, amongst expats moving to Mexico. Written a couple of decades ago, his analysis is something I often use in workshops and recommend to people moving to Mexico ... in particular, for spouses.


----------



## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

Longford said:


> Destined to fail ... from the start.


Harsh, yes, but my first impression of the situation was exactly the same. Bailing out so soon? Good luck making that particular lady happy anywhere...


----------



## AlanMexicali (Jun 1, 2011)

ElPaso2012 said:


> Harsh, yes, but my first impression of the situation was exactly the same. Bailing out so soon? Good luck making that particular lady happy anywhere...


I don´t think it has to do with being happy. It most likely is high anxiety set in and would only go away if action was taken fast to relive the horrible feeling. If it goes away then that is all good. If it stays for much longer that can be a major problem and cause a nervous breakdown. In this case action was taken. It is hard to judge when you are not in someone else´s shoes. 

I think it will work out to the best for everyone involved in the end. I really don´t think it has to do with living in Mexico but with leaving your comfort zone and support system behind.

Good luck and glad you are upbeat about your experience Vantexan.


----------



## kito1 (Aug 4, 2012)

Longford

I hope I can meet you one day in person so that I can say all the things I want to say to you that I can not say to you on this board.


----------



## kito1 (Aug 4, 2012)

Vantaxen I am sorry it did not work out. I can only imagine all the hopes and plans that went into the move. I hope you both find a new path that works for both of you. Congrats on the new marriage.


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

kito1 said:


> Vantaxen I am sorry it did not work out. I can only imagine all the hopes and plans that went into the move. I hope you both find a new path that works for both of you. Congrats on the new marriage.


Thank you, much appreciated!


----------



## suegarn (Jan 31, 2013)

Sorry to hear that you have to give up on your dream, vantexan. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and it sounds like your wife didn't give your new life much of a chance. I don't think anyone should reject a new area after only a couple of weeks. Did she try to join any clubs, or make friends with other expats? Of course, we're only hearing your side of the story, but it sounds like you will be the one making all the compromises in this relationship going forward!


----------



## ElPaso2012 (Dec 16, 2012)

suegarn said:


> Sorry to hear that you have to give up on your dream, vantexan. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, and it sounds like your wife didn't give your new life much of a chance. I don't think anyone should reject a new area after only a couple of weeks. Did she try to join any clubs, or make friends with other expats? Of course, we're only hearing your side of the story, but it sounds like you will be the one making all the compromises in this relationship going forward!


Ah, a realistic appraisal of the situation, and I'm so glad it came from a woman.


----------



## Hound Dog (Jan 18, 2009)

this is an interesting thread, especially since your spouse decided she could not take San Miguel d´Allende after only a week or so. That´s the same way I feel about Portland, Oregon. However, this sort of thing really isn´t that unusual and probably has less to do with culture shock between the U.S. and Mexico than with differing life goals among two people even though they are attracted to each other enough to marry.

We have relatives in France going through a similar situation at retirement after many years living in Paris. The kids left home some time ago and now one spouse is retired while the other must work for a few more years. One wants the excitement of continuing to live in Paris and the other wants to move far out into the country. They bought a home in the country but find it financially impossible to continue to own an apartment in Paris and a country home some four hours distant by TGV. I have no idea how they will finally settle this problem which is creating quite a bit of familial friction but my wife and I went through the trauma of retirement 13 years ago and it is a traumatic experience to quit working and no longer draw salaries after so many years or belong to whatever cause for which one worked. It´s pretty scary as well as many of us know. After contemplating retirement to places as disparate as the Arizona desert and the Alabama Gulf Coast, we chose Lake Chapala in Mexico and, later the Chiapas Highlands as well but that was a risky decision at the time we made it. 

It´s pretty scary to, first, retire and then, secondly, to move to a foreign country, especially one with which the retirees or one of the retirees have/has little experience.

Our decision to leave California was easy since, if we had stayed in the state, we would have had to pay substantial state income taxes on our future IRA drawdowns but making a decision as to where to move was difficult and we were winging it with Mexico. When we got to the ratty, fly-infested border at Nogales, Sonora in 2001 and the thuggish border personnel wanted to buy two of our huge mastiffs to fight them and we had just seen the extremely violent Mexican movie _ Los Amores Perros, _we were asking ourselves if we had lost our minds moving to what, at that point, seemed a total craphole but, what the hell, we had already committed to purchase a house at Lake Chapala so it was too late to turn back. 

We have always, over 40 plus years, had a consensus as to where to live from Mobile Bay in Alabama to San Francisco and the wine country in Northern California and, finally, to Lake Chapala and the Chiapas Highlands but everyone is not so lucky.

Good luck to you whereever you guys end up.


----------



## lagoloo (Apr 12, 2011)

I had no desire to move away from the States initially, but finally, my husband and I made a deal: We'd give it a year, since that's pretty much how long it takes to settle in, in any new community.
If I hated it at the end of the year......we'd go back to the states. Well, one year drifted into the next and now it's been a long time. We moved to a more compatible Mexican town than where we started and it's all worked out. 
The OP and his wife were newlyweds; she had kids she wanted to be near and I think it was too much of a change all around. I wish them well and I do think they made the best decision for both of them. It it had been a long term marriage as mine was, they may have had a better understanding of one another before trying the move to Mexico.


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

Hound Dog said:


> this is an interesting thread, especially since your spouse decided she could not take San Miguel d´Allende after only a week or so. That´s the same way I feel about Portland, Oregon. However, this sort of thing really isn´t that unusual and probably has less to do with culture shock between the U.S. and Mexico than with differing life goals among two people even though they are attracted to each other enough to marry.
> 
> We have relatives in France going through a similar situation at retirement after many years living in Paris. The kids left home some time ago and now one spouse is retired while the other must work for a few more years. One wants the excitement of continuing to live in Paris and the other wants to move far out into the country. They bought a home in the country but find it financially impossible to continue to own an apartment in Paris and a country home some four hours distant by TGV. I have no idea how they will finally settle this problem which is creating quite a bit of familial friction but my wife and I went through the trauma of retirement 13 years ago and it is a traumatic experience to quit working and no longer draw salaries after so many years or belong to whatever cause for which one worked. It´s pretty scary as well as many of us know. After contemplating retirement to places as disparate as the Arizona desert and the Alabama Gulf Coast, we chose Lake Chapala in Mexico and, later the Chiapas Highlands as well but that was a risky decision at the time we made it.
> 
> ...


Thanks Hound Dog. There was quite a bit of impoverished places on the way down from Laredo, and San Miguel has it's share. After a week here it doesn't even phase me. The people here are quick to smile and return greetings. My wife yesterday however said she feels like our neighborhood is a slum. Someone mentioned "your side of the story". There's no real conflict here. I was disappointed and said she wasn't giving it a chance. She agreed and we tried Queretaro. It just comes down to I like it, she doesn't, and she isn't willing to give it time. But don't worry, we're moving in with my mom in North Carolina and paying $275 in rent, utilities paid by my mother. I'll keep working on the Rosetta Stone, eventually get my pension, our old dogs will pass, and we'll try again somewhere. The U.S. won't get cheaper and she'll realize Mexico is our best chance at a quality retirement and still be close enough to family.


----------



## Hound Dog (Jan 18, 2009)

[_QUOTE=vantexan;2035849]Thanks Hound Dog. There was quite a bit of impoverished places on the way down from Laredo, and San Miguel has it's share. After a week here it doesn't even phase me. The people here are quick to smile and return greetings. My wife yesterday however said she feels like our neighborhood is a slum. Someone mentioned "your side of the story". There's no real conflict here. I was disappointed and said she wasn't giving it a chance. She agreed and we tried Queretaro. It just comes down to I like it, she doesn't, and she isn't willing to give it time. But don't worry, we're moving in with my mom in North Carolina and paying $275 in rent, utilities paid by my mother. I'll keep working on the Rosetta Stone, eventually get my pension, our old dogs will pass, and we'll try again somewhere. The U.S. won't get cheaper and she'll realize Mexico is our best chance at a quality retirement and still be close enough to family.[/QUOTE]_

It´s funny you say that vantexan. Many of us have experienced similar circumstances. My wife flew from Paris to Mobile in 1971 to teach for a year and this was her first time seriously out of Europe. She screwed up and married me shortly after arrival and then we spent a couple of years living on the shore of Mobile Bay in a shack (we were really poor then) but in a beautiful environment on the bay at the mouth of the magical Fowl River, After two years, I tricked her into moving to San Francisco convincing her of what a nice town it was and preceded her there so, here she was, a young woman out of Paris flying out of warm, splendidly green, sub-tropial Birmingham in August and landing in cold, ovecast and foggy San Francisco whiich is typically surrounded by dry, brown and dead hills in the late summer dry season and she got off the ´plane and, as fate would have it, I had rented an apartment at San Francisco´s dreary Ocean Beach which was even colder and foggier than the rest of the city in August which, in Alabama and France is one of the most pleasant times of year and I cannot even repeat the vulgar invective to which I was subjected for some time after that and, had I not been starting a new job, I think we would have been on a plane back to Alabama within a week. As it happens, San Francisco and Northern California kind of grow on you over time and after a while, she came to love it there and we stayed there for over 30 years, probably a lot happier in the long run than we would have been in Mobile with its limited employment opportunities for both of us especially since she made her mark in the wine business. One needs time to mellow out but I think you were right to head for North Carolna upon your cariña´s strong suggestion at least for now. 

Try again later, I say. Wait a while, though.


----------



## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

vantexan said:


> I'll keep working on the Rosetta Stone, eventually get my pension, our old dogs will pass, and we'll try again somewhere. The U.S. won't get cheaper and she'll realize Mexico is our best chance at a quality retirement and still be close enough to family.


I wonder if economic considerations will be enough to convince your wife to try living in Mexico again.


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

Isla Verde said:


> I wonder if economic considerations will be enough to convince your wife to try living in Mexico again.


Only time will tell. But with my pension and both of us getting SS checks we should be able to rent in an area that'll suit her.


----------



## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

vantexan said:


> Only time will tell. But with my pension and both of us getting SS checks we should be able to rent in an area that'll suit her.


I wonder what sort of area that would be. No doubt in the next few years, you'll be spending some time in Mexico on extended vacations in order to find that area of the country where your wife will feel comfortable.


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

Isla Verde said:


> I wonder what sort of area that would be. No doubt in the next few years, you'll be spending some time in Mexico on extended vacations in order to find that area of the country where your wife will feel comfortable.


She loves the beach, but hates heat+humidity. That leaves either near San Diego, which doesn't appeal to me, or doing like Hound Dog and splitting time between places.


----------



## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

vantexan said:


> She loves the beach, but hates heat+humidity. That leaves either near San Diego, which doesn't appeal to me, or doing like Hound Dog and splitting time between places.


In Mexico there's almost no beach area without heat and humidity. Maybe you should consider retiring to Scotland!


----------



## GARYJ65 (Feb 9, 2013)

Isla Verde said:


> In Mexico there's almost no beach area without heat and humidity. Maybe you should consider retiring to Scotland!


And take some Mexicans down there, for scenery purposes


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

Isla Verde said:


> In Mexico there's almost no beach area without heat and humidity. Maybe you should consider retiring to Scotland!


The beaches are reasonably pleasant in the winter, no?


----------



## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

vantexan said:


> The beaches are reasonably pleasant in the winter, no?


I guess so. But where will you live the rest of the year? Maintaining two residences, even in Mexico, will not be inexpensive.


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

Isla Verde said:


> I guess so. But where will you live the rest of the year? Maintaining two residences, even in Mexico, will not be inexpensive.


Until we get Social Security we won't qualify for residency. We'll have to rent for 6 months, drive to the border to visit family, and come back. Highlands in the summer, beach in the winter. I've followed Craigslist enough to know there are ****** landlords that are fine with renting short term and there are affordable, nice places out there. And in time we can upgrade a bit.


----------



## GARYJ65 (Feb 9, 2013)

vantexan said:


> Until we get Social Security we won't qualify for residency. We'll have to rent for 6 months, drive to the border to visit family, and come back. Highlands in the summer, beach in the winter. I've followed Craigslist enough to know there are ****** landlords that are fine with renting short term and there are affordable, nice places out there. And in time we can upgrade a bit.


I'm really lost here; It is my understanding that Vantexan likes Mexico and his wife does not care about it, am I right?
If so, how would you plan to live half your life here?


----------



## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

GARYJ65 said:


> I'm really lost here; It is my understanding that Vantexan likes Mexico and his wife does not care about it, am I right?
> If so, how would you plan to live half your life here?


I gather from his comments that he hopes that with time she will change her mind. Wishful thinking, perhaps, on his part?


----------



## GARYJ65 (Feb 9, 2013)

Isla Verde said:


> I gather from his comments that he hopes that with time she will change her mind. Wishful thinking, perhaps, on his part?


I have met some couples in the same situation, wife always wins


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

GARYJ65 said:


> I have met some couples in the same situation, wife always wins


You're probably right. But then again, I showed her pics of Playa del Carmen on Google Images tonight and she REALLY liked it. If she can enjoy a place similar to the U.S. for part of the year she'll be onboard for spending summers in a place like Ajijic. No, it's not my Mexico dream, but it's a start.


----------



## GARYJ65 (Feb 9, 2013)

vantexan said:


> You're probably right. But then again, I showed her pics of Playa del Carmen on Google Images tonight and she REALLY liked it. If she can enjoy a place similar to the U.S. for part of the year she'll be onboard for spending summers in a place like Ajijic. No, it's not my Mexico dream, but it's a start.


Hopefully you'll get her to like Mexico
Probably you will end up in Myrtle beach


----------



## sunnyvmx (Mar 14, 2010)

I sometimes think if I had not pushed to live in the "real" Mexico and settled for life at Lake Chapala, my wonderful husband would not now be my ex husband. He tried, but Catemaco, Veracruz was never going to be home. After five years in Catemaco, I have now moved to Lakeside and I'm even happier in my home here. Instead of living as the "rich" in poor Catemaco, he now lives as the "poor" in rich Palm Springs. Life was too short for one of us to live unhappy so we remain best friends and still love each other dearly.


----------



## GARYJ65 (Feb 9, 2013)

If we try to force a situation, it does not end up well
"A fuerza, ni los zapatos entran"


----------



## vantexan (Sep 4, 2011)

GARYJ65 said:


> If we try to force a situation, it does not end up well
> "A fuerza, ni los zapatos entran"


Which is why I'll put my dream on hold. We're leaving tomorrow.


----------



## Hound Dog (Jan 18, 2009)

[_QUOTE=sunnyvmx;2039210]I sometimes think if I had not pushed to live in the "real" Mexico and settled for life at Lake Chapala, my wonderful husband would not now be my ex husband. He tried, but Catemaco, Veracruz was never going to be home. After five years in Catemaco, I have now moved to Lakeside and I'm even happier in my home here. Instead of living as the "rich" in poor Catemaco, he now lives as the "poor" in rich Palm Springs. Life was too short for one of us to live unhappy so we remain best friends and still love each other dearly.[/QUOTE]_

Interesting observations, sunnyvmex. I especially liked the trade-off of your ex regarding the choice of being among the "rich" in Catemaco or the "poor" in Palm Springs. When we were discussing where to retire back in about 2000, I briefly considered Palm Springs (really not that expensive then) as a retirement haven but my wife reminded me that we had close friends who had retired there back in the 1980s quite young supported by his inheritance and at that time we were living on the cool and often foggy Northern California Coast. Every summer, they passed our house for a visit on their way to cool and foggy Sea Ranch on the Sonoma Coast because the summer weather in Palm Springs was, to them, unbearably hot and impossible to tolerate. They used to tell us that it was so miserably hot in Palm Springs in the summer that they couldn´t even use their swimming pool with its super heated water from the intense sun and temperatures in the 100sF. 

Our first choice when moving to Mexico was to live at Lake Chapala because of the fine year-round weather and the fact that we could run our big mastiffs on deserted beaches which were federal land. That dog thing turned out to be pretty important as we discovered after we later moved part-time to the Chiapas Highlands where publicly available and isolated places for off-leash dog walking are not that easy to find . Finding isolated and virtually deserted public land on which to run one´s large mastiffs is not as simple as one might think because there is not always a lot of federally owned land available to the publlic in Mexico as one might have thought when choosing a place to settle with a large brood of dogs. For those unfamiliar with how it works at Lake Chapala, when the lake subsides during the lengthy dry season as it always does since it is a sump serving the large Lerma River Basin, there are expansive beaches that become available for walking which are federal property and, thus not owned by anyone and this subsidence provides public access at any time without violating someone else´s property rights - a big issue in Mexico. 

So, we bought this house in San Cristóbal de Las Casas, Chiapas - the "_real" _Mexico and we really like it there but, unless we put these mutts in the car and drive for a while, the dogs must be walked on leash in public streets, often public streets quite crowded with numerous pedestrians and this is all concrete in an urban zone so , since we don´t have little dog flush toilets with us on these jaunts, they sometimes obey nature´s call and do things that that we must rectify in very public settings with plastic bags. Somewhat unsettling.

We decided to keep the Lake Chapala place and, since our dogs could not care less what is the "real " Mexico and the "unreal" Mexico, leave them to their beaches so we can stroll the streets down south without plastic bags.


----------



## sunnyvmx (Mar 14, 2010)

Yes, the summers in Palm Springs would be quite unbearable so he makes the trek to San Diego. Living full time in a motorhome allows him this choice and freedom. I much prefer the green of a tropical climate and find desert browns to be depressing. There's enough dryness and brown here Lakeside in the winter to cause me some distress so I know I could never live out West. His SS is more than mine and he's had to cut back on steak and give up beer altogether opting for a glass of wine at dinner. While I eat and drink whatever I want, enjoy meals out and have a housecleaner. To each his own. Deciding to separate was heartwrenching and if my dear third husband hadn't died providing me with widow's benefits which doubled my SS, we might have remained married, but living and filing separately. Certainly with five husbands, one was bound to make me a widow sooner or later and thankfully it was the one I was married to for the required 10 years.


----------



## Hound Dog (Jan 18, 2009)

[_QUOTE=sunnyvmx;2041065]Yes, the summers in Palm Springs would be quite unbearable so he makes the trek to San Diego. Living full time in a motorhome allows him this choice and freedom... and he's had to cut back on steak and give up beer altogether opting for a glass of wine at dinner.... _

Come on, sunny; Dawg did not just arrive on the turnip truck. San Diego might have a nice, if grindingly dull, climate but that city is the most boring place on earth outside of Utah. And, this "one glass of wine" business is easily the most transparent hoax on the planet. I thought I had invented that trick but I see I have been outsmarted here. One simply modifies one´s drinking glass from the standard generally accepted sissy little wine glass to one of those BAMA Brand Economy sized raspberry jam jars down at the Safeway meant to serve families with 12 kids.You can pour an entire liter of Carlo Rossi Red in one of those jars and, if you can still rise from the sofa, have another.


----------



## sunnyvmx (Mar 14, 2010)

Like my pappy told me when I was a wee yongun until I was put out on my own, "You can have whatever You can afford."


----------



## Longford (May 25, 2012)

Wherever one is in Mexico, it's the "real Mexico." It's a bit silly for someone to suggest differently, IMO.


----------

