# Has anyone left to go back to England and regretted it?



## Dizzy40

Hi

We have been here 10 years now and really do have a comfortable lifestyle. Good jobs, great house, nice cars, kids are really happy at school etc.. However, we have very little in the way of a social life as my husband has to be social all day at work and can't be bothered at the weekend. I do go out with my own friends and make an effort, but its not the same as being with people who really know you. I really miss having a family around and feel very lonely a lot of the time.

I miss my family so much and the thought of our parents getting older in the UK is really nagging at me. I want to be able to spend time with them before they are too old to do anything with us and feel bad that our siblings would be left coping with their problems.

Both sets of parents have been out twice, but have both said they won't be making the journey again and our siblings have big families and just can't afford to come out.

Each time we visit, 3 times in the last 10 years, we have had a ball and the kids really get on great with their cousins and grandparents. I really feel for them here having no extended family, especially at holiday times when its just the four of us again sitting around alone. Every time we say goodbye its like ripping my heart out, l can't stand it and completely fall apart, which is not like me at all as l am usually so together.

We did have a very nice life there before we left and l am more than happy to live in either country. But its 10 years down the line and a lot has changed. We have no idea where we would live and would we adapt back into the UK way of life.

Its taking over our lives at the moment discussing it over and over. The kids are OK about moving, they are just worried about new schools and think the work will be too hard for them. My husband is really concerned about finding work and providing for us all. But is looking forward to being able to see his beloved football team play again

My concern is, that we go back to the UK, the kids hate it, my husband cant find work and we are living in a crappy rental and the family we missed so much are busy doing other stuff, and everyone blames me.

Has anyone else gone back because they missed family so much? What were your experiences like with family etc.. Are you glad you moved back? Or did you hate it and want to move back to NZ?


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## toadsurfer

I think the main reason people ever go back is missing friends and family. 

Why don't you just try moving back and see how it goes? Depends heavily on the industries you are in re work but I wouldn't waste time thinking about it too much - if you miss people go back to the UK and see how it goes. At least after 10 yrs in NZ you have the option of easily returning if you decide the UK is not for you. 

Can your husband make a trip back and try and secure work before you actually fly home?


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## Dizzy40

Yes he is going back in February with work and will check out options. Thanks for the response.


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## mikesurf

Hi, we have recently returned to Europe after 6 years and now living in southern France, which is not quite back to England but being only 1 and half hour flight away is much better. Our circumstances are slightly different in that we don't have kids. 

My mother died while we were in New Zealand and my wifes father was diagnosed with cancer so we had difficult time while we were there. We just thought New Zealand was too far away from everything and everyone we really knew as well as that it always felt slightly temporary while we were there and we just could not imagine spending the rest of our lives there. 

New Zealand, although being a slower pace of life and nice scenery, never really lived up to our expectations and we felt it all too expensive and to be honest I did not see the point in travelling to the other end of the planet only to end up in a giant farmers field with wooden sheds for houses. So we had 2 reasons to leave and now we are back we could not be happier. Just spending time with family and friends especially over christmas and new year is great. I have been amazed how friendly the French people are and we have made more friends in the past 6 months than we made in 6 years in NZ.

New Zealand is an incredibly lonely and distant place and I know how it feels. I would recommend you try and get everything sorted out job and housing wise, before you leave and make the move back, otherwise you will always have a nagging regret.

House prices both renting and buying have dropped alot in the UK in the past few years and is much more afordable than NZ so don't let that put you off.

Good luck with your choice.


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## Dizzy40

Thanks for your post. I do feel the same, just a temporary visitor. 
However, l am really glad we came here and feel it was the right thing for us at the time. But it's very far away from the UK and we are always either saving up to return for a holiday, or paying off the last trip. 
Glad you are enjoying the south of France


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## Guest

The French seem to get some bad press, we have had a little Cottage in the Correze for over 12 years and the locals are so friendly and helpful, bringing gifts of veg & fruits.

Not the South of France but a lovely area with cheap house prices.

Hope you reach a decision that is right for you. If we do not gain full employment in the next
few months we will be heading back to either France or the UK.

Best of luck to you.


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## Janeyk

We are in the process of returning, we did this in 2010 after living in wellington but I struggled to find work and as the main breadwinner our savings disappeared very quickly. We returned to Auckland and have been here since Aug 2010 and I have now secured a job in Oxford so we leave in feb I do not regret it but I am leaving for all the reasons you say above. For us this opportunity came 12 months earlier than expected as we thought DS would finish Intermediate here first however the plus for us is he has only missed 6 months of Secondary in the UK which is good, we will go back with little or no savings having lost money on the house here but UK is where we want to be you only have one chance at lfe so grab opportunities when you can


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## Dizzy40

Good luck with your new job and l hope it all works our for you. We live in Torbay also
My kids will need to start school a year behind as my oldest will be doing A levels and younger one GCSE's. The timing is not great, but the alternative is to stay another 2 years. Not sure l could cope with that.


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## mia5

Hi everyone its been really interesting reading everyone's stories . I haven't made the move yet still undecided , here in the UK I have a very small family but my mum who I am very close to has ill health so if we make the move I would never see her again . She wouldn't be able to visit us and we wouldn't be able to afford to travel back . I think about all the money it would cost to move and really there is nothing wrong with my life here in the UK . It's just a dream both myself and husband have had for years and I suppose its just full filling our dreams . Just a question to mikesurf did you lived in France before you went to Nz or is this all new too ?


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## mikesurf

mia5 said:


> Just a question to mikesurf did you lived in France before you went to Nz or is this all new too ?


Hi ther, yes I lived in France for a while as my girlfriend at the time was French. Have you been to New Zealand before? Be aware that it is very expensive, especially to buy and rent property. When we got back to France I could not believe the properties we could buy here, 4 or 5 bed villa or beautiful old village house surrounded by vineyards for the same cost as a tiny, cold 2 bed house in Auckland with a Corrugated tin roof. 

I too had dreams to live in New Zealand but unfortunately the reality was a little different. I could list endless downsides to living there but I think it winds a few people up that check the forum so I had better not. 

Anyway do plenty of research before you go and good luck.


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## Guest

We have just had another " Thanks But No Thanks " to our job applications.

Carole has to date applied for over 123 jobs on both Islands myself about 20 so with
this last- Not On Your Nellie we are looking into Shipping etc etc.

Our regret is that we could not gain employment and give it a good go.

Homeward Bound


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## mia5

Hi mike , is that's your name ? We went out to new Zealand last year for a month to get our visa stamp which then gave us 2years to return, We have until next August .We did enjoy our stay but found it was on par with UK and we do worry about the wages and being able to getting work. I would love to hear more about your time in new Zealand if you can message me that would be great not sure if you can do that on this forum .


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## Janeyk

We currently have a 3 bed home and have no heating, no tumble drier and our power bill is $250 per month I am sure I could centrally heat a home and more for that back in the UK our water here is $50-70 per month again we only take showers we have a new washing machine on ecconomy we paid slightly more in uk living in South west but that was double what we paid in Oxfordshire before as SW have a premium for the beaches. We pay between $200-$250pw for food that is very seasonal and limited ie if its not in season is either astronomical in price or not there some weeks there is little choice on vegs we like. That is not eating fancy either we pay $650pw rent thats 1300 GBP for a badly insulated shed with no heat and all the timer work is rotten
do you really think GB is comparable? the only thing cheaper is petrol. If you have children at school you are typically paying $500-1000 per anum per child for donations and stationary etc, GP visits are between $50-70 just to see the GP repeat prescriptions $30 to get the prescription let alone any drugs. 
Do not get me wrong I do not hate this place but I hardly think expenditure is comparable. As for leisure you can go many places in UK and get decent accomodation for as little as 30 per night here you are talking minimum $100 per night for basic outdated accomodation. we travelled with the inlaws to Taupo last year and spend $300+ for a night and to be honest a rundown travel lodge would have been better in the UK next to the M6 and I bet cheaper1


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## Janeyk

As I said I have not regretted living here and seeing other cultures however it does open your eyes to how good the UK is and what UK people fail to see before their eyes. There is lots of stunning scenery on your doorstep, lots of lovley history, and many things to do with little or no effort. cheap breaks to the continent are available to as well as the ast choice in anything you purchase. Living here as made me less materialistic I no longer will care about driving a 6 yr old car it will be cheaper than here and the choice will be vast. The only thing I am going to have todo is smarten up my wardrobe and buy winter clothersbut prices of decent clothes in the UK are good and will last a lot longer


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## mikesurf

mia5 said:


> Hi mike , is that's your name ? We went out to new Zealand last year for a month to get our visa stamp which then gave us 2years to return, We have until next August .We did enjoy our stay but found it was on par with UK and we do worry about the wages and being able to getting work. I would love to hear more about your time in new Zealand if you can message me that would be great not sure if you can do that on this forum .


Hi Mia, sorry not sure how to message you on this forum. I guess at the end of the day you just have to go and make up your own mind but do be aware that you will be spending a lot of money getting set up. Things are not up to th same standard as the UK so be prepared to find the houses pretty poor with little heating and high cases of damp and mildew. One house we lived in was so bad we had a have a dehumidifier on 24hours. 

To list the dowsides of NZ -
Very pricey houses
very expensive rent
expensive clothes
expensive groceries
expensive cars
no culture
hard to make friends (with kiwis)
high crime rate
very far away from anything
unless you are really into the outdoors, boring
weather not as great as you are led to believe(on par with UK)

Positives
nice scenery
fuel cheaper but going up fast


this is what we found but as I said you just have to find out for yourself.

I think you have to be a certain type of person to really enjoy living in New Zealand, not someone that likes going to see top shows or enjoying good nightlife or enjoys a cultural existence. Gum boots, rugby and fishing is what New Zealand is about.


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## toadsurfer

I have to say I do struggle to understand why people get upset at the cost of living and wages in NZ. NZ is the most isolated developed country in the world with a population barely exceeding Wales, it should really be fairly obvious wages are not exactly going to be world leading. You can see a similar, if watered down, effect in the UK - I used to live in Bristol but worked in Cardiff. The wages for my exact same job in Bristol were always 15% or so more than Cardiff, simply beacuse Wales was a smaller more 'remote' country yet overall the cost of living was about the same.

Also the world is simply an expensive place to live these days and when you combine that with a country that is clearly going to have less goods competition and choice, prices are going to be high. As I said I think this should be a fairly common sense observation before people even get on the plane. I don't understand why people who clearly value cheap goods and variety and choice choose somewhere like NZ over the US, Europe or Australia.

For me I came to NZ because I desperately wanted the outdoor lifestyle and love surfing and wanted to live by the sea whilst also being able to have a city job. In this sense NZ was an obvious choice and has more than lived up to expectations - in the last month or so of weekends I have surfed on white sand beaches in clear blue water on hot days with no one around in Gisborne and north of Auckland, trekked around the foot of an erupting volcano, swum with dolphins in the Bay of Islands, camped almost every weekend and had bbqs with my girlfriend on deserted white sand beaches as the sun sets just 45 minutes from Auckland. In the next few weekends I will hopefully start sailing on the Hauraki gulf from right outside my front door. 

This is why I came to NZ and being able to have weekends like that on a regular basis was simply not possible in the UK year round. 

My gf misses M&S but neither of us came here hoping to find the perfect department store. I have no idea if we will stay here forever or end up trying Oz or going back home. I don't really care what happens in the next few years as I just want to enjoy the time we are here and enjoy the frankly wordlclass leisure opps that NZ has to offer. 

I think people put pressure on themselves to settle somewhere straight away and make it something that has to last forever. If you live in the future too much you won't enjoy the present. If we end up moving home (prob ultimately cos my gf misses her family) NZ will just be an awesome time we had together doing some incredible things - would be a shame to look back on these experiences as a big mistake.

Just to add - I find our cost of living prob comparable to the UK, maybe only slightly more. Some things more expensive, some things cheaper. However, our lifestyle is better. Our rent is about twice the price it was in the UK but we pay no council tax equivalent and have a 3 bedroom modern warm house 2mins from the water in Devonport whereas our flat in the UK was one bedroom in a rough part of Bristol. I get a ferry to work that costs about 4 quid a day as opposed to the nightmare that is the overpriced UK train system.

We have a tumble dryer (that my gf uses every bl**dy day!), dishwasher, bath, heating and our power bills are between $100-150 a month with powershop. Food shopping is slightly more expensive than UK with less choice but you can still eat well so it's not a concern.

I went to the GP the other day for holiday jabs and paid the $70 for a first appoint but in that the doc gave me 3 prescriptions included in the price.

We have stayed all over N Island and stayed in some overpriced places and some very good and cheap places. The campsites are all pretty good too for the price and better than the UK on the whole. I haven't really found holiday accom better or worse than the UK. It's like anywhere - there are good and bad places. I certainly had the misfortune to stay in some god awful travel lodges in the UK!

I am loving my time in NZ (although I hate my job, as I did in the UK - but that is due to some poor careers decisions at 18 rather than NZ!). I am finding the people friendly and willing to make friends if you put the effort in, just like anywhere. When I think about it my friends at home were all old school and uni friends which it took me 35 years to make - so I can't expect to be on the same level of friends after 6 months in a foreign country. I do find Kiwis quite reserved though so you have to make the effort with them to invite round etc which I am not naturally very good at so struggle a bit!

For me NZ is an awesome country to live in, and there have been no surprises. If what you want out of life is shopping, cheap broadband and holidays to Europe I don't see why NZ would even be on the radar. As a recruitment agent said to me a few years ago when I was thinking about the move - don't come to New Zealand for money, come for the love, of one kind or another!


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## mikesurf

toadsurfer said:


> I have to say I do struggle to understand why people get upset at the cost of living and wages in NZ. NZ is the most isolated developed country in the world with a population barely exceeding Wales, it should really be fairly obvious wages are not exactly going to be world leading. You can see a similar, if watered down, effect in the UK - I used to live in Bristol but worked in Cardiff. The wages for my exact same job in Bristol were always 15% or so more than Cardiff, simply beacuse Wales was a smaller more 'remote' country yet overall the cost of living was about the same.
> 
> Also the world is simply an expensive place to live these days and when you combine that with a country that is clearly going to have less goods competition and choice, prices are going to be high. As I said I think this should be a fairly common sense observation before people even get on the plane. I don't understand why people who clearly value cheap goods and variety and choice choose somewhere like NZ over the US, Europe or Australia.
> 
> For me I came to NZ because I desperately wanted the outdoor lifestyle and love surfing and wanted to live by the sea whilst also being able to have a city job. In this sense NZ was an obvious choice and has more than lived up to expectations - in the last month or so of weekends I have surfed on white sand beaches in clear blue water on hot days with no one around in Gisborne and north of Auckland, trekked around the foot of an erupting volcano, swum with dolphins in the Bay of Islands, camped almost every weekend and had bbqs with my girlfriend on deserted white sand beaches as the sun sets just 45 minutes from Auckland. In the next few weekends I will hopefully start sailing on the Hauraki gulf from right outside my front door.
> 
> This is why I came to NZ and being able to have weekends like that on a regular basis was simply not possible in the UK year round.
> 
> My gf misses M&S but neither of us came here hoping to find the perfect department store. I have no idea if we will stay here forever or end up trying Oz or going back home. I don't really care what happens in the next few years as I just want to enjoy the time we are here and enjoy the frankly wordlclass leisure opps that NZ has to offer.
> 
> I think people put pressure on themselves to settle somewhere straight away and make it something that has to last forever. If you live in the future too much you won't enjoy the present. If we end up moving home (prob ultimately cos my gf misses her family) NZ will just be an awesome time we had together doing some incredible things - would be a shame to look back on these experiences as a big mistake.
> 
> Just to add - I find our cost of living prob comparable to the UK, maybe only slightly more. Some things more expensive, some things cheaper. However, our lifestyle is better. Our rent is about twice the price it was in the UK but we pay no council tax equivalent and have a 3 bedroom modern warm house 2mins from the water in Devonport whereas our flat in the UK was one bedroom in a rough part of Bristol. I get a ferry to work that costs about 4 quid a day as opposed to the nightmare that is the overpriced UK train system.
> 
> We have a tumble dryer (that my gf uses every bl**dy day!), dishwasher, bath, heating and our power bills are between $100-150 a month with powershop. Food shopping is slightly more expensive than UK with less choice but you can still eat well so it's not a concern.
> 
> I went to the GP the other day for holiday jabs and paid the $70 for a first appoint but in that the doc gave me 3 prescriptions included in the price.
> 
> We have stayed all over N Island and stayed in some overpriced places and some very good and cheap places. The campsites are all pretty good too for the price and better than the UK on the whole. I haven't really found holiday accom better or worse than the UK. It's like anywhere - there are good and bad places. I certainly had the misfortune to stay in some god awful travel lodges in the UK!
> 
> I am loving my time in NZ (although I hate my job, as I did in the UK - but that is due to some poor careers decisions at 18 rather than NZ!). I am finding the people friendly and willing to make friends if you put the effort in, just like anywhere. When I think about it my friends at home were all old school and uni friends which it took me 35 years to make - so I can't expect to be on the same level of friends after 6 months in a foreign country. I do find Kiwis quite reserved though so you have to make the effort with them to invite round etc which I am not naturally very good at so struggle a bit!
> 
> For me NZ is an awesome country to live in, and there have been no surprises. If what you want out of life is shopping, cheap broadband and holidays to Europe I don't see why NZ would even be on the radar. As a recruitment agent said to me a few years ago when I was thinking about the move - don't come to New Zealand for money, come for the love, of one kind or another!



I do agree with what you are saying, don't expect NZ to be like Europe because it's not. However I think a lot of people do go to NZ only to realise they have made a mistake. The immigration department only tell you so much and most of that is hype. Nice scenery though and I had some good surfs on the esat coast of Auckland when it wasn't flat. West coast tended to be blown out a lot by those westerly winds. I lived in Devon and Cornwall before I went to NZ and I can say that all you described can be had there. In fact as far as Auckland goes I would rate south west UK to be much better for surf.


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## toadsurfer

Hey Mike

I do find the surf frustrating - glad its not just me! Was hoping for regular surfing but like you say the west coast is always huge and onshore and the east coast swells are so short lived and sod's law dictates only occur during the week!

The surfing is only reason we might end up going to Australia to be honest. I need regular surf access!!!

You living down near Hossegor or Biarritz now then?


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## mia5

Hi toadsurfer , that was a really good post I enjoyed reading it .


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## mia5

Thank-you mike for your reply .


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## mikesurf

toadsurfer said:


> Hey Mike
> 
> I do find the surf frustrating - glad its not just me! Was hoping for regular surfing but like you say the west coast is always huge and onshore and the east coast swells are so short lived and sod's law dictates only occur during the week!
> 
> The surfing is only reason we might end up going to Australia to be honest. I need regular surf access!!!
> 
> You living down near Hossegor or Biarritz now then?


Yes guite close to Biarritz, it's been pretty cold the past few days so I think I will be heading to the pyrenees for skiing and only picking the best days for the surf.

Have you managed to get to the south island and surf kaikoura? Had some good surfs there?


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## jenswaters

Hi

I will chuck my experiences in for what they are worth.

I moved from the UK to the Caribbean amongst very personally turbulent times, leaving all friends and family behind and taking my young son with me. I was adamant I would be back after 1 year away. When I stopped thinking about "when I go back", and started just living with no agenda or timeframe in my head about what would happen, I started to actually make the most out of my time there. I then met my husband and we moved to another Caribbean island. We knew from the beginning that it would never be a "forever" move, but we didn't have a timeframe on it ending. Away from work, our little life was great. However, work, the politics, and all the trouble within the country made us realise it was time to leave. 

In all my little trips and visits "home" to the UK, I grew increasingly frustrated with the place, and usually couldn't wait to get back to our life overseas. I felt that I didn't belong. I used to put it down to missing the heat and the laid-back lifestyle!

We had already taken steps to move to NZ (our EOI was selected and we had out ITA in), so decided that we would move back to the UK, just to make sure that we didn't belong there (we had never lived together in our home country...funny eh?!?!). We also figured that if we actually went ahead with the NZ move, family wouldn't see the grandkids as much (call it a guilt move). It was the WORST (and I suppose the best) thing we ever did. Within 10 days we were screaming to get out. We found the place too busy, too "grey", too focussed on work, stressy, and materialistic. However, this is what we felt (others would argue). I couldn't wait to leave again.

When we arrived in NZ 4 months later, I actually felt like I was coming home. I laugh and tell my family I was born in the wrong country!!! I NEVER felt like I belonged in the UK (weirdly), like there was always something bigger out there. Now...I never need to leave my little area of Tauranga!!! 

So, while I have never been back to live in the UK from NZ, I have done after a stint overseas. There will be positive and negatives anywhere you go (inevitable), and you have to weigh up whether the positives outweigh the negatives for it all to be worthwhile. Me...I will not even contemplate going back to the UK for even a visit (unless I win lotto and can fly privately or 1st class)!!!

Hope this helps

Jen


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## Bathmark

*An interesting debate..*

I lived in New Zealand for 18 months and then moved back to the UK. I am in the opposite situation from you in that my parents retired to NZ and I decided to follow them. I worked in both Wellington and Auckland and have to say that Wellington was the best social life that I have ever had with great bars and a good set of Kiwi friends. However it was restrictive in what you can do once out of the city and the weather is worse that the south of the UK. I worked in Auckland for a year and loved the beaches and the countryside but the social life is not great and there is a lack of culture. I also found that the majority of my low wages went on rent again for an over sized shed which got cold in winter. I moved back to the UK and did managed to get a well paid job with a pension (unheard of in NZ). I regularly visit NZ to see my family and I will say that the prices particularly of food have really gone up but they have in England as well. In the UK you do find that you are really hammered by taxes, the Council Tax is robbery for the lousy services that you get over here. My parents reckon that they pay 1/2 what they did in the UK and things like roads, rubbish collection and Library services are far superior in the NZ. As for going to hotels I find it cheaper in NZ and better quality. You can easily pay over £100 per night in the UK for a lousy bed and breakfast. I really like the accommodation in NZ as you often get a small kitchen which cuts down costs. It is a tough call on if you should stay and go. I would happily move back to NZ but I am in a relationship now which makes it harder. I think if you were single or without kids it would be worth coming back over. However, if your kids are happy I would be inclined to stay.


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## mia5

Hi bathmark , I have 3 daughters , 2 are happy to go to new Zealand but the 17 year old has a boyfriend here in the UK and doesn't want to come , which also makes it a hard decision . It's just a big decision when you want to go but there are things like family and money to consider .


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## topcat83

mia5 said:


> Hi bathmark , I have 3 daughters , 2 are happy to go to new Zealand but the 17 year old has a boyfriend here in the UK and doesn't want to come , which also makes it a hard decision . It's just a big decision when you want to go but there are things like family and money to consider .


Hi Mia
I had a similar situation with my eldest. He was adamant that he was staying.
In the end we had to say that he was very close to being an adult and leaving anyway. We put him on our application, and he got his residency with us. We made sure he came over for a visit to get his passport 'stamped' and the visa endorsed.
When we applied for our two year 'permanent residency' I didn't think that Immigration would allow for him to be included - but they actually suggested it!
So now, he lives in the UK in a 'flatting' situation (which is no different to if he'd gone to Uni), but is entitled to come and live in New Zealand with us whenever he wants.
We thought this was a good compromise, as it means no-one has burned their bridges.
Hope that helps!


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## cliche

mikesurf said:


> Hi ther, yes I lived in France for a while as my girlfriend at the time was French. Have you been to New Zealand before? Be aware that it is very expensive, especially to buy and rent property. When we got back to France I could not believe the properties we could buy here, 4 or 5 bed villa or beautiful old village house surrounded by vineyards for the same cost as a tiny, cold 2 bed house in Auckland with a Corrugated tin roof.
> 
> I too had dreams to live in New Zealand but unfortunately the reality was a little different. I could list endless downsides to living there but I think it winds a few people up that check the forum so I had better not.
> 
> Anyway do plenty of research before you go and good luck.


I was going to send you a private message, but I have less than 5 posts as of yet,so I can't private message yet. I've travelled and spent a couple of months on both islands and was interested in your thoughts.


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## mia5

Thanks topcat , that's interesting to know . When you got your visa stamped did you stay in Nz ? Also did your son ? We got our visa stamped and then only stayed for a months holiday with the option to return in the next 2years which we haven't yet . I think you come back To the UK and slip back into your old life . It's so scary I need a crystal ball


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## mikesurf

cliche said:


> I was going to send you a private message, but I have less than 5 posts as of yet,so I can't private message yet. I've travelled and spent a couple of months on both islands and was interested in your thoughts.


Hi there, we bought a camper van and did a full tour of both islands spending 6 months just touring around. I am a keen surfer and skiier so I had more of a reason to give NZ a try than my wife who was never really that keen on spending the rest of her days in NZ. Any way we decided on Christchurch and settled there for a couple of years. I must admit I did enjoy going to places like Kaikoura for surfs and skiing in the mountains in winter. However we spent a lot of money settling in and found the state of the houses terrible. I was not enjoying my job and the pay was not good also our social scene was non existant and we started to see christchurch as a place full of young joy riders cruising the streets at night doing burnouts on every corner. Some ,places were quite dodgy to walk late at night, especially for a woman.

Crime in christchurch at the time we were there was pretty high with a prostitute getting murdered and dumped in the town river as well as a taxi driver getting stabbed to death just round the corner from us. Our house was burgled and we had a 4 x 4 vehicle stolen. The police told us that is was probably used by hookers to use for the night, needless to say we did not want that car back.

Not a good start so we decided to give the north island a go and I got a job in Auckland, we thought maybe this would be better. Auckland turned out to be not much different, bad housing , expensive rent, low wages and a lot of rain. We both got very sick a couple of times due to the bad housing. One thing we noticed was the seperation of different cultures rather than a mixing of cultures, people seem to keep to themselves and kiwis can be quite racist. I always had the impression that Kiwis did not particuly like the english all that much but merely tolerated us, though maybe that was just me. New Zealand definately has a superiority complex and it was always funny when they would make a big story out of the fact that someone in the U.S or U.K had mentioned them. Anyway I think that' just due to there isolation I guess. There are a lot of stupid annoying things like rugby on the news all year round everyday.
We had some good friends come over from Australia to visit NZ for the first time and they just laughed when they saw the type of houses you got for your money.

I was working at Auckland hospital in Grafton and about 80% of my work colleagues said they would be leaving soon and these were highly skilled people. We had another car stolen and a second one broken into. We were starting to realise that NZ was not for us. When I got back to Europe and seeing friends and family and into a well paid job it was like a weight had been lifted and at last we could start saving again. I have to say that after my stay in NZ I have come to appreciate British people a lot more since we are back in Europe. 


These are the experiences we had and what we went away from NZ feeling. I am sure everyone has different experiences


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## topcat83

mia5 said:


> Thanks topcat , that's interesting to know . When you got your visa stamped did you stay in Nz ? Also did your son ? We got our visa stamped and then only stayed for a months holiday with the option to return in the next 2years which we haven't yet . I think you come back To the UK and slip back into your old life . It's so scary I need a crystal ball


Yes, we stayed in NZ, but my youngest son went to live in Egypt for a year (he's a scuba diving instructor). My husband, youngest son and myself updated our visas while we were in New Zealand. I took my eldest son to New Zealand House in Piccadilly (he had a new UK passport that needed updating anyway) and they updated his visa there.

With regards making the move - I'd give it a try. The worse thing in life is to have to say 'if only'....


----------



## mia5

topcat83 said:


> Yes, we stayed in NZ, but my youngest son went to live in Egypt for a year (he's a scuba diving instructor). My husband, youngest son and myself updated our visas while we were in New Zealand. I took my eldest son to New Zealand House in Piccadilly (he had a new UK passport that needed updating anyway) and they updated his visa there.
> 
> With regards making the move - I'd give it a try. The worse thing in life is to have to say 'if only'....


Thanks topcat


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## pookienuffnuff

mia5 said:


> Hi everyone its been really interesting reading everyone's stories . I haven't made the move yet still undecided , here in the UK I have a very small family but my mum who I am very close to has ill health so if we make the move I would never see her again . She wouldn't be able to visit us and we wouldn't be able to afford to travel back . I think about all the money it would cost to move and really there is nothing wrong with my life here in the UK . It's just a dream both myself and husband have had for years and I suppose its just full filling our dreams . Just a question to mikesurf did you lived in France before you went to Nz or is this all new too ?


If you love your life in UK then please dont make the move...its not worth it. I only did so because work in my sector became none existant. And its really not all its cracked up to be here. I'd vote france anyday ;-)


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## pookienuffnuff

Dizzy40 said:


> Hi
> 
> We have been here 10 years now and really do have a comfortable lifestyle. Good jobs, great house, nice cars, kids are really happy at school etc.. However, we have very little in the way of a social life as my husband has to be social all day at work and can't be bothered at the weekend. I do go out with my own friends and make an effort, but its not the same as being with people who really know you. I really miss having a family around and feel very lonely a lot of the time.
> 
> I miss my family so much and the thought of our parents getting older in the UK is really nagging at me. I want to be able to spend time with them before they are too old to do anything with us and feel bad that our siblings would be left coping with their problems.
> 
> Both sets of parents have been out twice, but have both said they won't be making the journey again and our siblings have big families and just can't afford to come out.
> 
> Each time we visit, 3 times in the last 10 years, we have had a ball and the kids really get on great with their cousins and grandparents. I really feel for them here having no extended family, especially at holiday times when its just the four of us again sitting around alone. Every time we say goodbye its like ripping my heart out, l can't stand it and completely fall apart, which is not like me at all as l am usually so together.
> 
> We did have a very nice life there before we left and l am more than happy to live in either country. But its 10 years down the line and a lot has changed. We have no idea where we would live and would we adapt back into the UK way of life.
> 
> Its taking over our lives at the moment discussing it over and over. The kids are OK about moving, they are just worried about new schools and think the work will be too hard for them. My husband is really concerned about finding work and providing for us all. But is looking forward to being able to see his beloved football team play again
> 
> My concern is, that we go back to the UK, the kids hate it, my husband cant find work and we are living in a crappy rental and the family we missed so much are busy doing other stuff, and everyone blames me.
> 
> Has anyone else gone back because they missed family so much? What were your experiences like with family etc.. Are you glad you moved back? Or did you hate it and want to move back to NZ?


I have heard of folks going back and realising its not any better. They forget how awful the weather can be (rain every single day if you arent in south east). But oh for central heating! Why not rent your house out here in NZ and go back for a trial of one year. Jobs can be hard to come by now with the cuts so that would be the main decider i think.


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## pookienuffnuff

mikesurf said:


> Hi Mia, sorry not sure how to message you on this forum. I guess at the end of the day you just have to go and make up your own mind but do be aware that you will be spending a lot of money getting set up. Things are not up to th same standard as the UK so be prepared to find the houses pretty poor with little heating and high cases of damp and mildew. One house we lived in was so bad we had a have a dehumidifier on 24hours.
> 
> To list the dowsides of NZ -
> Very pricey houses
> very expensive rent
> expensive clothes
> expensive groceries
> expensive cars
> no culture
> hard to make friends (with kiwis)
> high crime rate
> very far away from anything
> unless you are really into the outdoors, boring
> weather not as great as you are led to believe(on par with UK)
> 
> Positives
> nice scenery
> fuel cheaper but going up fast
> 
> 
> this is what we found but as I said you just have to find out for yourself.
> 
> I think you have to be a certain type of person to really enjoy living in New Zealand, not someone that likes going to see top shows or enjoying good nightlife or enjoys a cultural existence. Gum boots, rugby and fishing is what New Zealand is about.


And the secenery is very similar to England, Wales and Scotland depending on where you are. Europe has same (often better).


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## ClemClan

I've read all the stories and thought I would throw some of my thoughts and views into the mix ...

The lady that started the thread: what a difficult decision to make especially when it sounds like all the family would be happy to stay in NZ. I think a lot of people return to the UK because of family and I am yet to know how I would feel in years to come when I know my mum won't be able to travel here anymore. But I would have to travel there, so it's not impossible and yes other siblings would have to care for her should that be necessary. But again, they are there, and if they had emigrated and I was the one who hadn't then that would be my duty, so I don't think it does you much good to dwell on being the one that's not there. 

How would it be being back amongst the family fold - great, yet you've been away living your own life and so have they! They will carry on just the same wether you are there or not. 

Living in NZ is not for everyone as I have read on this post and some peoples expectations are dashed and it doesn't turn out the way they thought it would. It's true that if you're looking for nightlife and having a similar way of life as you did in the UK then it's not the country for you. 

The scenery is also beautiful in the UK but it takes you hours to get anywhere, battling through the motorway traffic and I prefer travelling along scenic state highways with hardly any traffic to get to our destination - that is something I wouldn't swap for UK Motorway traffic! plus the queues, plus the unfriendly customer service! It is expensive to live here, the quality of things do bother me - BUT I find alternatives, I shop around and get passed all that somehow. I am now growing my own veggies and have chickens for eggs - but of course that's not for everyone! I can't do anything about the cost of food or power, so we put up with it to be able to enjoy everything else that's NZ. My husband no longer spends hours on the motorway getting to work, missing family time, never being home in time for tea. For five years we've had our tea together just about every day, he's here at the weekends and we have so much family time now. That's priceless. 

I have downsides to living in New Zealand over the past five years, and even after living through all the horrible earthquakes here in Christchurch I am still sure that we made the right decision. If that changes after another five years because of family, then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. There are many times when I've thought about leaving, especially after the quakes, but we stuck it out knowing what we wanted for ourselves here and patiently waiting for that to come and it did with our little farmstead and that's what is 'us' and we wouldn't have that in the UK. 

We haven't been back to visit, but I'm sure we'd be shocked at how busy everywhere is after being here for five years, not to mention the terrible economy at the moment. My sister is a Manager at a leading supermarket over there and they get 300 applications for one job. Yes, the interest rates are next to nothing, but it's not good over there at the moment. Family will always be an issue for me, but as I said they are getting on with their own lives quite happily without us! 

If my life was great in the UK I wouldn't have left!


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## mia5

Hi clemclan, 
I thought your post was really interesting reading and opened up my mind to some of my own issues. You are right in saying that sibling are there to look after the loved ones you leave behind and family and friends will just carry on life once you've gone . And also there is Skype so we can see them every day. But also like you said if there is nothing wrong with my live in England why leave . It's a dream !


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## ClemClan

mia5 said:


> Hi clemclan,
> I thought your post was really interesting reading and opened up my mind to some of my own issues. You are right in saying that sibling are there to look after the loved ones you leave behind and family and friends will just carry on life once you've gone . And also there is Skype so we can see them every day. But also like you said if there is nothing wrong with my live in England why leave . It's a dream !


Hi Mia, thanks for your comments, I'm glad you found my post interesting reading. I wasn't sure of your last comment 'it's a dream' - did you mean, life in England is a dream or it's a dream to live in New Zealand.

If it was the latter - a dream of yours to live in NZ - then that's true for a lot of people, if was my husbands dream or desire to live in another country and it was either NZ, Australia or Canada. So if it's a dream that has to be forfilled rather than always wondering 'what if' then you have follow these dreams if opportunites allow it because let's face it, life is too short! 

Best of luck


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## mia5

Hi clemclan , 
Yeah I meant a dream to live in New Zealand or OZ . Ever since we met each other 20 years ago we wanted to emigrate but felt we were to young . We started sorting everything out 5 years ago , the Exchange rate was much better meaning you got a lot more for the pound . A lot has changed in that five years , my mum who lives with us became ill and now wouldn't be able to travel . My eldest daughter doesn't was to come who will be 18 soon . But because we have always wanted to do it and we have our visas to do it , will we regret it if we don't do it and resent people for our decision . We did love it when we visited but was that because we were on holiday ?? I may never know . It great talking To people who have done it . Are you still in new Zealand ?


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## topcat83

Hi Mia
So you already have your visas? I'd come over and 'get the stamp' then, as it will give you 2 years to make your minds up. And a lot can happen in 2 years!
My 18 year old decided to stay in the UK, but we made sure he was on our application. So he can come over whenever he wants. Bottom line is that at 18 they're adults, and are likely to leave home soon anyway. You can't live their lives - and similarly they can't dictate yours!

I sympathise with the elderly mother - when I left my Mum was hale & hearty, but became ill while we were here. It meant a few extended trips back, but I'm still glad we came over here. 

Can't say I miss the UK weather either - it's damp today, but it's warm and the sun comes out tomorrow!


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## Leighr

mia5 said:


> Hi clemclan ,
> Yeah I meant a dream to live in New Zealand or OZ . Ever since we met each other 20 years ago we wanted to emigrate but felt we were to young . We started sorting everything out 5 years ago , the Exchange rate was much better meaning you got a lot more for the pound . A lot has changed in that five years , my mum who lives with us became ill and now wouldn't be able to travel . My eldest daughter doesn't was to come who will be 18 soon . But because we have always wanted to do it and we have our visas to do it , will we regret it if we don't do it and resent people for our decision . We did love it when we visited but was that because we were on holiday ?? I may never know . It great talking To people who have done it . Are you still in new Zealand ?


Hi Mia
We went through with it and have no regrets leaving behind new grandchild and elderly parents. Live out your dream if you can.


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## mia5

Hi , yeah we have our visas but we have already had them stamped we came over in Aug/sept 2011 .Our 2years run out in august 2013 , 8months to decide . We should of stayed when we visited but needed to sort things out back at home first . Yeah I know what your saying about my 18 and I think she would follow . I think its just my mum because she lives with us and we are a big part in her life and the money . And also will we get jobs . ? . As I write i'm stood in the next sale Q in the cold . It's fun though .


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## ClemClan

mia5 said:


> Hi clemclan ,
> Yeah I meant a dream to live in New Zealand or OZ . Ever since we met each other 20 years ago we wanted to emigrate but felt we were to young . We started sorting everything out 5 years ago , the Exchange rate was much better meaning you got a lot more for the pound . A lot has changed in that five years , my mum who lives with us became ill and now wouldn't be able to travel . My eldest daughter doesn't was to come who will be 18 soon . But because we have always wanted to do it and we have our visas to do it , will we regret it if we don't do it and resent people for our decision . We did love it when we visited but was that because we were on holiday ?? I may never know . It great talking To people who have done it . Are you still in new Zealand ?



Hi Mia - yes we're still in New Zealand. I feel for you with dilemas but as you say, you wouldn't want to regret not at least seeing if your dream could come true and turn out to be what you'd always wanted, may be you could still keep some ties in the UK to have something to come back to in case you need or want to go back again? 

I imagine an eighteen year old wouldn't want to come - there are plenty of people on this forum who could relate to that. It's a shame because she could actually end up loving it. Yes, so much change in five years, especially the exchange rate. We came just as the housing prices boomed over five years ago, but it's the chance you take I guess. We say that we'd wished we came earlier than what we did, but we weren't ready to make the move. Our daughter was only six at the time, so she settled in not to badly, a little longer than I expected, but now she hardly remembers England.


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## topcat83

Mia, as she lives with you, your Mum could be put down as a dependent. In which case you might be able to add her to your application. Worth looking at? 
However it depends on what her medical condition is.
It may also be worth talking to immigration about extending your visa, because of your circumstance with your mum, to give you a bit more time.
Nothing asked, nothing gained!


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## pookienuffnuff

You always regret more the things you DON'T do rather than the things you do do. Better to try it out than be left wondering. 
I am glad I came out here, even tho it didn't live up to my expectations (which were probably too high) I am glad I did it as now I KNOW rather than pining after a dream (that wasnt real).
Next stop the Australian dream...will it live up to it? Probably not but I'll still go for it...only way to find out ;-)


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## mia5

Hi all , thanks for all your messages they have all been great to read and take on board . 
Topcat -yeah mum lives with us , she has kidney failure and is on dialysis so they wouldn't let her in the country also she has a bad heart . It's all happened in the last 5years . But thanks for your advice about trying to extend our visas , I think we might try that because if we had more time it could help us lots with the money issues and time to sort family out . 
I do believe in trying it and would like to .


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## mia5

We asked about our visas and the answers No  we have to be in new Zealand by 16th august or loss them


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## pookienuffnuff

mia5 said:


> We asked about our visas and the answers No  we have to be in new Zealand by 16th august or loss them


but you dont have to stay long, come in, get stamped, go back....


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## topcat83

mia5 said:


> We asked about our visas and the answers No  we have to be in new Zealand by 16th august or loss them


Can you come over for a short while & get them updated with an extension while you're over here?
Probably easier than trying to do it from overseas - and worth an attempt.


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## mia5

pookienuffnuff said:


> but you dont have to stay long, come in, get stamped, go back....


We already have our visas stamped and our final date is 16th august . 2years has just flown and still haven't sorted out everything and unfortunatly have had family problem along the way . I suppose they think you have had long enough . We are still trying to put things together ticking a list as we go . We are going to a expo meeting in march to see about jobs . You never know what can happen in 6 months .


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## tamarisk

So, what happened - are you still in NZ or returning? Interested as we are weighing up the options after a couple of years here which feels like long enough!


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## Toni in Auckland

Why are you leaving Tamarisk? Same reason as me?


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## mia5

tamarisk said:


> So, what happened - are you still in NZ or returning? Interested as we are weighing up the options after a couple of years here which feels like long enough!


Hi tamarisk , 
We are still in England , we are still deciding what to do , we have till August . It's scary . So are you in Nz now ? Why do you think its long enough ?


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## Irish_nz

We are currently trying to get things organised to come over to Nelson NZ, I have a job offer already. 

I hear people saying its expensive to live, what would be classed as a decent wage to live on?


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## escapedtonz

Irish_nz said:


> We are currently trying to get things organised to come over to Nelson NZ, I have a job offer already.
> 
> I hear people saying its expensive to live, what would be classed as a decent wage to live on?


Hi,

How many of you coming over ?


----------



## Irish_nz

Irish_nz said:


> We are currently trying to get things organised to come over to Nelson NZ, I have a job offer already.
> 
> I hear people saying its expensive to live, what would be classed as a decent wage to live on?


There will be three of us, wife and myself with 19year old daughter.


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## escapedtonz

Irish_nz said:


> There will be three of us, wife and myself with 19year old daughter.


Hi,

Yes NZ is expensive to live. 
More expensive than we thought after many months of research.
I'd say around 10-15% more and that is without considering rent or mortgage.
You do learn how to live with it though. 
Makes you adapt spending habits - i.e. we shop a heck of a lot more seasonally now, we visit other shops instead of just getting everything from the supermarket and we are always looking through the sales brochures which are dropped in the letter box weekly for every bargain. The motto is to never pay full price for anything.

If you consider rent and mortgage then the costs spiral!!!
Rent is very high - I'd say near double the cost of a similar sized home in the UK.
Mortgage interest rates in NZ around 5.5%.

For 3 adults living at home you need to be earning around $100 000 gross per annum to be comfortable.
All depends what lifestyle you are used to of course and what comforts you like to have etc.
Always a difficult question to answer as we are all so different.
Maybe you'll be fine on $80 000 gross which is what I'd recommend as a minimum for a couple without kids.

Regards,


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## Toni in Auckland

I was earning 85 in Auckland, I don't know how families manage on that amount. There was no way I could've bought a place of my own and I was caught in the rental trap.


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## topcat83

Toni in Auckland said:


> I was earning 85 in Auckland, I don't know how families manage on that amount. There was no way I could've bought a place of my own and I was caught in the rental trap.


That is a lot of money for a single person! My son certainly survives very well on quite a lot less, and I can't say his social life is quiet!


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## tamarisk

*Not as good as we'd hoped*



Toni in Auckland said:


> Why are you leaving Tamarisk? Same reason as me?


We were attracted here by the cheap housing, wide open spaces and the fewer people, all of which are good, but there have turned out to be a lot of things which i didn't expect to mind - being off the main air travel routes so its expensive to get to anywhere else makes me feel quite trapped here; the great outdoors - it _is_ great, but it turns out I like a bit of history / culture more; people are nice when you get to know them, but some small-town NZers can be quite...insular and unwelcoming; it's too far away from family and friends to settle forever, but it's not 'foreign' enough to be that much of an experience while you're here; a vague feeling that for what there is here, we could have just moved to Scotland....


----------



## tamarisk

*maybe it depends on where you come from in the UK?*



mia5 said:


> Hi tamarisk ,
> We are still in England , we are still deciding what to do , we have till August . It's scary . So are you in Nz now ? Why do you think its long enough ?


Yes, been here for over a year, and will stay for one more to get our visas made permanent, mainly in case the kids want to come back at some point. I don't think I will. 
Lots of people seem to love it here - i think it may depend on where you come from in England - if you are coming from a big run-down post-industrial city with all the problems of crime and teens running wild and junkies on street corners, bad weather etc etc, then NZ will probably seem heavenly. But we came over from Cornwall, which is already pretty chilled out, and mostly free of that sort of hassle. So for us, it seemed like we weren't gaining a great deal in terms of better day-to-day lifestyle. The experience itself has been good, although in the end with all the visas, medicals, qualification assessments etc, we probably should have just spent the money on a big holiday!
And i would say, if you haven't already, don't sell your house, or you really might be stuck here. Rent it out for a couple of years until you can really decide.
We know it's not the right place for us, and are thinking of moving on somewhere else, not back to the UK, but somewhere nearer (which includes just about everywhere!)
So, why are you thinking of making the move?


----------



## mia5

tamarisk said:


> Yes, been here for over a year, and will stay for one more to get our visas made permanent, mainly in case the kids want to come back at some point. I don't think I will.
> Lots of people seem to love it here - i think it may depend on where you come from in England - if you are coming from a big run-down post-industrial city with all the problems of crime and teens running wild and junkies on street corners, bad weather etc etc, then NZ will probably seem heavenly. But we came over from Cornwall, which is already pretty chilled out, and mostly free of that sort of hassle. So for us, it seemed like we weren't gaining a great deal in terms of better day-to-day lifestyle. The experience itself has been good, although in the end with all the visas, medicals, qualification assessments etc, we probably should have just spent the money on a big holiday!
> And i would say, if you haven't already, don't sell your house, or you really might be stuck here. Rent it out for a couple of years until you can really decide.
> We know it's not the right place for us, and are thinking of moving on somewhere else, not back to the UK, but somewhere nearer (which includes just about everywhere!)
> So, why are you thinking of making the move?


We have always wanted to emigrate to new Zealand since we were young , but felt we were to young and with no money . We started the process 5years ago when the Exchange rate was good , but now we have a lot more to lose . We have all ready decide to rent our house , like you say its some where to come back to . We live in the midlands , a nice area in the country , but no beaches near by . Cornwall is lovely we have been may times . We keep think should we go or stay and like you think give it ago and also we then get our permanent visa .. how many are there of you and what jobs do you do ? If you don't mind me asking ?


----------



## Irish_nz

Hi there, we are deciding whether to go or not, reading over these threads is doesn't fill me with confidence that it is the right thing to do..... 
I have been offered a full time permanent role as a Health and Safety Manager position, my wife is a Care worker who works for the local trust here in Northern Ireland and my daughter want to gain experience....


----------



## escapedtonz

Irish_nz said:


> Hi there, we are deciding whether to go or not, reading over these threads is doesn't fill me with confidence that it is the right thing to do.....
> I have been offered a full time permanent role as a Health and Safety Manager position, my wife is a Care worker who works for the local trust here in Northern Ireland and my daughter want to gain experience....


Hi,
Yes it is a difficult decision to make. Do we stay or do we go for it....???
In all honesty, if you don't you'll probably always regret not giving it the chance as it may be the best decision you ever make.
That's the way we looked at it. If it fails it's been a long expensive holiday!

Yes houses aren't built as well as in the UK, yes salaries are lower than the UK, yes the cost of living is higher than the UK, yes interest rates are higher than the UK, yes rent and mortgages cost more here than the UK.......but there are lots of positives.....
(1) It isn't the UK, so doesn't suffer from many of the issues we wanted to get away from.
(2) The weather is way better than we expected even in windy Wellington (Nelson has way more sunshine hours and way less rainfall than Wellington).
(3) The sun is never far away even if it's miserable out of the window. You can either wait for it to come or go and find it 
(4) Beaches are very close by.
(5) Its is so much more tidier than the UK, less graffiti, no smashed up phone boxes or smashed up bus shelters.
(6) Don't see gangs of kids supping 2ltr bottles of cider of an evening on street corners while harassing every passer by.
(7) None or very little road rage.
(8) Less people in general.
(9) Less cars and no traffic issues.
(10) Excellent public transport.
(11) The feeling of being safe everywhere you go - even in the city centre - even overnight during the weekend on a night out.
(12) Nobody cares for material things like posh cars & the latest computer or TV. People here spend their money on having family fun, a comfortable home environment and the best quality of life they can afford.
(13) I like that the people of the country are from every corner of the globe so the opportunity is there to liaise with individuals from all walks of life.
(14) Golfing is year round without the risk of the course closing just because it's been raining. Oh and its so much cheaper to golf here.
(15) The roads are just excellent for motorbiking.
(16) It is so much easier to have an outdoorsy lifestyle - even when it's raining as the temperature doesn't seem to drop that much.
(17) Socialising is much more of a chilled out affair - meeting for coffee, brunch, lunch in decent weather, a nice meal out or a bbq at someone's house as opposed to the the only option of lets go out and all get smashed attitude of the UK since there is no other alternative due to the weather.

I could go on 

The only things I miss about the UK is close family/friends who we left behind, the culture/history of old England, old villages, many alternative back roads to get to a destination, good fish & chips - that's about it.

I'd say you just need to earn enough to make it all work. 
If you don't then money is always going to be a worry and you aren't going to benefit unless you seriously change the lifestyle to allow the income to make it work.
None of the initial issues are a problem if one earns enough to remove them or take steps to reduce the cause of them so they aren't an issue.

Don't get me wrong, NZ isn't paradise. That place is only in your dreams !
It is a very different lifestyle and existence. It takes a lot of getting used to, but I'm very happy that we took the plunge in an attempt to make the quality of our life better for us and our wee boy growing up.
I'm also glad to say...so far so good and I still have no desire to return to the UK or try elsewhere.

Regards,


----------



## tamarisk

mia5 said:


> We have always wanted to emigrate to new Zealand since we were young , but felt we were to young and with no money . We started the process 5years ago when the Exchange rate was good , but now we have a lot more to lose . We have all ready decide to rent our house , like you say its some where to come back to . We live in the midlands , a nice area in the country , but no beaches near by . Cornwall is lovely we have been may times . We keep think should we go or stay and like you think give it ago and also we then get our permanent visa .. how many are there of you and what jobs do you do ? If you don't mind me asking ?


Thanks for replying. There are four of us, me, my OH and two young teen children, and we both teach. It is worth giving it a go I think, just to know! and if you don't sell your house you can always go back. But it does cost a lot to get the visas and do the move. You could buy a lot of beach holidays with that! How are you fixed for jobs in NZ? and do you have children? how far along with your moving plans are you?


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## tamarisk

Janeyk said:


> We are in the process of returning, we did this in 2010 after living in wellington but I struggled to find work and as the main breadwinner our savings disappeared very quickly. We returned to Auckland and have been here since Aug 2010 and I have now secured a job in Oxford so we leave in feb I do not regret it but I am leaving for all the reasons you say above. For us this opportunity came 12 months earlier than expected as we thought DS would finish Intermediate here first however the plus for us is he has only missed 6 months of Secondary in the UK which is good, we will go back with little or no savings having lost money on the house here but UK is where we want to be you only have one chance at lfe so grab opportunities when you can


So - any update on how the move back went - any regrets at leaving NZ? How does the Uk compare?


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## topcat83

escapedtonz said:


> ....(9) Less cars and no traffic issues.....


Lol had to laugh at this one today! 
It's the Sunday after Anzac Day, plus it's the middle of the school holidays. 
And a lot of Aucklanders took the opportunity to head to the Coromandel for a long weekend.
And of course most of them go back to work tomorrow.
So there has been a 65 km queue of crawling traffic from Maramarua (our 'local village' on SH2) all the way to SH1 then into central Auckland.

After saying that, this is an unusual event, and generally only happens on public holiday weekends. And the traffic does move - albeit slower than usual. 
We were heading away from it all so whizzed past in the opposite direction!


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## mikesurf

escapedtonz said:


> Hi,
> Yes it is a difficult decision to make. Do we stay or do we go for it....???
> In all honesty, if you don't you'll probably always regret not giving it the chance as it may be the best decision you ever make.
> That's the way we looked at it. If it fails it's been a long expensive holiday!
> 
> Yes houses aren't built as well as in the UK, yes salaries are lower than the UK, yes the cost of living is higher than the UK, yes interest rates are higher than the UK, yes rent and mortgages cost more here than the UK.......but there are lots of positives.....
> (1) It isn't the UK, so doesn't suffer from many of the issues we wanted to get away from.
> (2) The weather is way better than we expected even in windy Wellington (Nelson has way more sunshine hours and way less rainfall than Wellington).
> (3) The sun is never far away even if it's miserable out of the window. You can either wait for it to come or go and find it
> (4) Beaches are very close by.
> (5) Its is so much more tidier than the UK, less graffiti, no smashed up phone boxes or smashed up bus shelters.
> (6) Don't see gangs of kids supping 2ltr bottles of cider of an evening on street corners while harassing every passer by.
> (7) None or very little road rage.
> (8) Less people in general.
> (9) Less cars and no traffic issues.
> (10) Excellent public transport.
> (11) The feeling of being safe everywhere you go - even in the city centre - even overnight during the weekend on a night out.
> (12) Nobody cares for material things like posh cars & the latest computer or TV. People here spend their money on having family fun, a comfortable home environment and the best quality of life they can afford.
> (13) I like that the people of the country are from every corner of the globe so the opportunity is there to liaise with individuals from all walks of life.
> (14) Golfing is year round without the risk of the course closing just because it's been raining. Oh and its so much cheaper to golf here.
> (15) The roads are just excellent for motorbiking.
> (16) It is so much easier to have an outdoorsy lifestyle - even when it's raining as the temperature doesn't seem to drop that much.
> (17) Socialising is much more of a chilled out affair - meeting for coffee, brunch, lunch in decent weather, a nice meal out or a bbq at someone's house as opposed to the the only option of lets go out and all get smashed attitude of the UK since there is no other alternative due to the weather.
> 
> I could go on
> 
> The only things I miss about the UK is close family/friends who we left behind, the culture/history of old England, old villages, many alternative back roads to get to a destination, good fish & chips - that's about it.
> 
> I'd say you just need to earn enough to make it all work.
> If you don't then money is always going to be a worry and you aren't going to benefit unless you seriously change the lifestyle to allow the income to make it work.
> None of the initial issues are a problem if one earns enough to remove them or take steps to reduce the cause of them so they aren't an issue.
> 
> Don't get me wrong, NZ isn't paradise. That place is only in your dreams !
> It is a very different lifestyle and existence. It takes a lot of getting used to, but I'm very happy that we took the plunge in an attempt to make the quality of our life better for us and our wee boy growing up.
> I'm also glad to say...so far so good and I still have no desire to return to the UK or try elsewhere.
> 
> Regards,



I guess the weather issue depends on where you are coming from in the first place but in my experience the weather is not that much different to the UK, although summers do feel a little longer. Saying that though Nelson may be the best place to be for good weather. The only problem is when the sun does shine it tends to turn your skin into leather with its intensity and lack of ozone.

Tidier than the uk? Well again this depends on where in the UK you are coming from and where in NZ you are going to. I always found devon to be fairly clean and graffiti free. A lot of places around Auckland not so.

You must not be getting out much if you think there are no drinking and gang problems in NZ. NZ has one of the highest rates of young drinkers, per capita, in the western world.

No road rage and bad driving? you must be kidding surely?

good public transport system? certainly not in Auckland, don't know about Nelson.

Feeling safe when you go out depends again on where you are going out. Late night Auckland can be a very intimidating and dangerous place, especially for a young girl.

I think the less material side of things comes from nobody having any spare cash due to the wages being so low and prices so high.


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## escapedtonz

mikesurf said:


> I guess the weather issue depends on where you are coming from in the first place but in my experience the weather is not that much different to the UK, although summers do feel a little longer. Saying that though Nelson may be the best place to be for good weather. The only problem is when the sun does shine it tends to turn your skin into leather with its intensity and lack of ozone.
> 
> Tidier than the uk? Well again this depends on where in the UK you are coming from and where in NZ you are going to. I always found devon to be fairly clean and graffiti free. A lot of places around Auckland not so.
> 
> You must not be getting out much if you think there are no drinking and gang problems in NZ. NZ has one of the highest rates of young drinkers, per capita, in the western world.
> 
> No road rage and bad driving? you must be kidding surely?
> 
> good public transport system? certainly not in Auckland, don't know about Nelson.
> 
> Feeling safe when you go out depends again on where you are going out. Late night Auckland can be a very intimidating and dangerous place, especially for a young girl.
> 
> I think the less material side of things comes from nobody having any spare cash due to the wages being so low and prices so high.


Coming from the NW of England yes the weather is much better than what we expected.
The sun doesn't have to turn skin into leather if you are sensible enough to protect yourself against the harmful effects of it.

My reference to NZ being tidier with less graffiti is my opinion between the massive difference here in and around Wellington against the likes of Manchester and Liverpool which were both within 30/40 minutes drive of home.
Again you are correct it all depends where you are used to.
May not be true of Auckland (never been), but from what I've seen of NZ the UK just can't compete against how tidy suburbs, roadsides, state highways, parks and children's playgrounds are kept here. It was the first thing my Father In Law noticed on the drive back from the airport having just landed and he said many times more on our travels around both the North Island and South Island.

You're right I don't get out much. Been there, done it many times and lost most of the t shirts along the way.
I'd rather stay home with my wife and mini me nowadays, be an excellent dad, better golfer or out on the motorbike than waste $'s on heaps of beer and waste the next day sitting in front of the TV with a hangover.

Can't remember saying there are no drinking or gang problems in NZ ?

These problems are all over the world wherever there are people and alcohol and I'm sure Auckland is one of the worst places in NZ just ahead of Wellington but being well used to the centres of Manchester, Liverpool, Wigan (home town), Bolton and Preston amongst a few
of the smaller places in NW England I can assure you Wellington is tame in comparison. I expect Auckland is very much the same but can't comment as I've never been.

I didn't mention bad driving. 
I stated none or very little road rage.
I stand by that as from my experiences in NZ no-one seems to care how fast or bad anyone is driving. 
Yes drivers here are just as bad and make all the same mistakes that used to have me shouting out of my window daily in the UK, but here I just couldn't care less. Probably comes from the fact cars drive slower here and the majority of the population doesn't appear to be in a rush.
Most people just get on with their own journey whereas in the UK you would have a number of people on every journey you made driving aggressively and shouting obscenities just because they were a car behind.
It really was that trivial and worse anywhere near a city where there are more cars and more people.
I've driven through Auckland and didn't have any issues whatsoever. Can't say I took much notice though as I just don't ever have that feeling were I have to chase, race or run anyone off the road!

Reference to public transport was about Wellington only not Auckland or Nelson as I only have experience of Wellington public transport against that of the UK.
In 13 months I've only experienced 1 late train and 1 cancellation - that's good in anybody's book.

Don't agree with your statement about people having less material things as they don't have the spare cash here.
Maybe it's true in Auckland but here in Wellington many people will be able to as they will earn enough to have that lifestyle of new possessions but they just don't waste the money.
I work in a team of approx 40 or so people and the majority of those earn at least $20k more than me for the moment with less money spent on rent and bills etc yet none of them has any great extravagances or a car younger than 2006. In my previous job in the UK people swapped and changed cars on a weekly basis to try and prove they had the best, shiniest, most expensive car, mobile phone, music player. They even borrowed extra cash on the mortgage to get them sometimes just so they could drive around in a Chelsea tractor......yawn!

Anyway what is good is we all have a different opinion depending on our life experiences which all adds to a balanced viewpoint


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## mia5

tamarisk said:


> Thanks for replying. There are four of us, me, my OH and two young teen children, and we both teach. It is worth giving it a go I think, just to know! and if you don't sell your house you can always go back. But it does cost a lot to get the visas and do the move. You could buy a lot of beach holidays with that! How are you fixed for jobs in NZ? and do you have children? how far along with your moving plans are you?


Hi , we have our full resident visas which run out on the 16th august this year . We have everything sorted to move , its just booking fights and renting a house oh and sorting out what to bring with us . We have 3 girls , We haven't sorted jobs yet which I think once we have 100% decided to go then the job hunt begins . I'm in catering and OH is in construction . I know we are cutting it fine but decide to make our final decision by the end of may . I like reading peoples views , I know we are all different and want different things . So do you think your return to England ? What do your kids think of new Zealand ? sorry about the question but what do you think about the education in new Zealand ? We liked the school and that kids can be kids .


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## tamarisk

mia5 said:


> Hi , we have our full resident visas which run out on the 16th august this year . We have everything sorted to move , its just booking fights and renting a house oh and sorting out what to bring with us . We have 3 girls , We haven't sorted jobs yet which I think once we have 100% decided to go then the job hunt begins . I'm in catering and OH is in construction . I know we are cutting it fine but decide to make our final decision by the end of may . I like reading peoples views , I know we are all different and want different things . So do you think your return to England ? What do your kids think of new Zealand ? sorry about the question but what do you think about the education in new Zealand ? We liked the school and that kids can be kids .


The kids like it here but find it a bit dull after a while, it's good if you like sport though. They have both made friends and fitted in quite well and really enjoyed the more laid-back schooling and no pressure to learn / achieve. I think things here are about 2 years below the UK, ie what they do in year 9 -10 here they do in year 7 in UK; UK GCSEs are similar standard to the NZ qualifications for 18 year olds. The curriculum is very similar and there have been no issues with unfamiliar material or approaches. A bigger problem for us will be if we move back to the UK - our kids will have fallen behind and will be unprepared for the work ethic in many UK schools. So the education system is really good as regards a more chilled-out, less pressured and less assessment-driven approach, but less good on actually teaching them anything. There are quite a lot of church and private schools here which seem to be more academic. Oh and in our experience there isn't the bullying or peer pressure either. In their year 8 for example, there are no kids who smoke or drink or date.... unlike the classes of year 8s I taught in england who were doing all of that and more!
But for us its still too end of the world - great if you want to turn up and buy a plot of land and go fishing and never leave... but not good if you like to travel or to feel you are connected to the rest of the world! Like you say, everyone wants different things, and I'm glad we came and experienced it, and we had some great months travelling here on the way. But i think we will go somewhere more 'central' in world terms next.
let me know what you decide and why, and I am happy to share anything or answer any questions as its still all quite new to us and i well remember moving and all the hassle and uncertainty!


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## mia5

tamarisk said:


> The kids like it here but find it a bit dull after a while, it's good if you like sport though. They have both made friends and fitted in quite well and really enjoyed the more laid-back schooling and no pressure to learn / achieve. I think things here are about 2 years below the UK, ie what they do in year 9 -10 here they do in year 7 in UK; UK GCSEs are similar standard to the NZ qualifications for 18 year olds. The curriculum is very similar and there have been no issues with unfamiliar material or approaches. A bigger problem for us will be if we move back to the UK - our kids will have fallen behind and will be unprepared for the work ethic in many UK schools. So the education system is really good as regards a more chilled-out, less pressured and less assessment-driven approach, but less good on actually teaching them anything. There are quite a lot of church and private schools here which seem to be more academic. Oh and in our experience there isn't the bullying or peer pressure either. In their year 8 for example, there are no kids who smoke or drink or date.... unlike the classes of year 8s I taught in england who were doing all of that and more!
> But for us its still too end of the world - great if you want to turn up and buy a plot of land and go fishing and never leave... but not good if you like to travel or to feel you are connected to the rest of the world! Like you say, everyone wants different things, and I'm glad we came and experienced it, and we had some great months travelling here on the way. But i think we will go somewhere more 'central' in world terms next.
> let me know what you decide and why, and I am happy to share anything or answer any questions as its still all quite new to us and i well remember moving and all the hassle and uncertainty!


Thanks for your replie , its very interesting to hear about the schools , we did like them when we visited in 2011 . I like that kids are kids . My 14 year old daughter was badly bullied and she really wants to go to new Zealand to escape her passed and start again . Do they do A levels before going to uni ? And at what age ? It's funny you say about a plot of land because that's what we would like to do build our own house . I don't like fishing though , but think I could find something to do  i'll keep you posted on our situation .


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## Andrew East

tamarisk said:


> We were attracted here by the cheap housing, wide open spaces and the fewer people, all of which are good, but there have turned out to be a lot of things which i didn't expect to mind - being off the main air travel routes so its expensive to get to anywhere else makes me feel quite trapped here; the great outdoors - it _is_ great, but it turns out I like a bit of history / culture more; people are nice when you get to know them, but some small-town NZers can be quite...insular and unwelcoming; it's too far away from family and friends to settle forever, but it's not 'foreign' enough to be that much of an experience while you're here; a vague feeling that for what there is here, we could have just moved to Scotland....


Same goes for us, I wonder sometimes if we should've moved to somewhere quieter in Britain and still felt immersed in the sense of history and culture, good access to cheap travel abroad and a decent pint in the pub beer garden on a Sunday lunchtime.


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## topcat83

Andrew East said:


> Same goes for us, I wonder sometimes if we should've moved to somewhere quieter in Britain and still felt immersed in the sense of history and culture, good access to cheap travel abroad and a decent pint in the pub beer garden on a Sunday lunchtime.


...and you list here some of the things we miss too. In our case though we have gained enough other things that it has more than made up for the things we left behind.

Two new alpaca babies this week - that's something we definitely wouldn't have had!


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## Andrew East

Don't they come from the Andes or is that llamas? I'm sure it's possible to keep them in Britain, it wouldn't have to be a deal breaker.


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## Andrew East

I found you a link to the British alpaca society, it even has an annual show.

Alpaca shows and events | British Alpaca Society



> "Alpacas are a great crowd pleaser at agricultural shows and every year between 300-4000 registered animals are shown in organised events of varying sizes across the length and breadth of the UK.
> 
> The minimum number of alpacas needed for a show is 25 and there is no maximum as yet. The largest alpaca show ever staged in the UK was the BAS National Show which achieved 450 entries, however, large shows normally attract between 100-300 entries. "


Sounds like quite a thriving industry over there.

Supplier directory | British Alpaca Society


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## topcat83

Andrew East said:


> Don't they come from the Andes or is that llamas? I'm sure it's possible to keep them in Britain, it wouldn't have to be a deal breaker.


True - but we'd never be able to afford the lifestyle block near enough to a place where I could find work! 
And why would I want to go back to the UK? We don't miss history and British pubs that much!
It's a great life for us over here... and we have no intention of going back to the UK except for the odd rellie visiting.


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## topcat83

Andrew East said:


> I found you a link to the British alpaca society, it even has an annual show.
> 
> Alpaca shows and events | British Alpaca Society
> 
> 
> 
> Sounds like quite a thriving industry over there.
> 
> Supplier directory | British Alpaca Society


Only one show? We have loads... see www.alpaca.org.nz.

And this September we're hosting the World Conference on Hamilton .... www.alpacaexpo.co.nz


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## Andrew East

topcat83 said:


> True - but we'd never be able to afford the lifestyle block near enough to a place where I could find work!
> And why would I want to go back to the UK? We don't miss history and British pubs that much!
> It's a great life for us over here... and we have no intention of going back to the UK except for the odd rellie visiting.


True, finding work could be a problem but it's not impossible and if you're in the right industry it is possible to work from home with a fast internet connection.

An ex-colleague of mine, a civils engineer sold up his place in Kumeu last year (blue chip acreage north of Auckland) and returned to Scotland where he picked up a great acreage property for less than he got for his LSB in New Zealand. 

If you know where to look there are some bargains to be had. Bear in mind that the market in New Zealand is still on the up whereas property in the UK is still depressed, plus there are some very favourable mortgage deals available and the rates are lower over there. 

This is the type of thing I'd be looking at if I had to go back, it looks very good in the photos. 4.06 acres, Merkland House, Willoxton, Mauchline, East Ayrshire, KA5, Central Scotland


> A superb country house in an unspoilt rural position with beautiful views. About 4.06 acres. 2 Reception Rooms, Dining Kitchen, Conservatory, 4 Bedrooms (1 ensuite). All weather riding arena, stables and kennels. Beautiful landscaped gardens. Paddock. Workshop. Ayr 14 miles. Glasgow 33 miles.
> EPC Rating = C
> Freehold


People would kill for a workshop like that over here - a real bloke's shed if you didn't want it as a stable.

Not a bad price either at £499,950 (cheaper possibly if you're prepared to haggle and are cashed up) That's about $900,000 New Zealand, which is what you'd pay for an acreage property near Auckland.


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## Andrew East

In reply to the original poster, I know people who've gone back and not regretted it and who are enjoying being back. If your heart's not in New Zealand, go for it.


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## topcat83

Andrew East said:


> True, finding work could be a problem but it's not impossible and if you're in the right industry it is possible to work from home with a fast internet connection.
> 
> An ex-colleague of mine, a civils engineer sold up his place in Kumeu last year (blue chip acreage north of Auckland) and returned to Scotland where he picked up a great acreage property for less than he got for his LSB in New Zealand.
> 
> If you know where to look there are some bargains to be had. Bear in mind that the market in New Zealand is still on the up whereas property in the UK is still depressed, plus there are some very favourable mortgage deals available and the rates are lower over there.
> 
> This is the type of thing I'd be looking at if I had to go back, it looks very good in the photos. 4.06 acres, Merkland House, Willoxton, Mauchline, East Ayrshire, KA5, Central Scotland
> 
> 
> People would kill for a workshop like that over here - a real bloke's shed if you didn't want it as a stable.
> 
> Not a bad price either at £499,950 (cheaper possibly if you're prepared to haggle and are cashed up) That's about $900,000 New Zealand, which is what you'd pay for an acreage property near Auckland.


You can get property for much less than $900k around here - and we're about 1 hour from Auckland. I can't say I'd be impressed with living with Scottish weather either. I think the weather here is much better.

However - regardless - for us, we're not moving back because we can't afford to. 
We're not moving back because we don't want to!


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## Andrew East

topcat83 said:


> You can get property for much less than $900k around here - and we're about 1 hour from Auckland. I can't say I'd be impressed with living with Scottish weather either. I think the weather here is much better.


The weather isn't that bad and those longer daylight hours in the summer would make it very pleasant. Winters can be colder but in a house like that you'd be very snug.

You may be able to get away with paying much less than $900,00 but you have to compare like with like. That property is on a par with what you'd find in Kumeu, and I'm sure there are much cheaper places in the UK if one is prepared to look.

Whist you may not be wanting to return to the UK the OP is asking for feedback on what it's like to go back, I'm thinking it's not as black as it's painted over there and she could have the comfortable lifestyle she's looking for. She should give it a go if she's unhappy, plenty of people return and have perfectly happy lives.


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## mikesurf

I think at the end of the day staying in NZ or going back to England is all up to the individual. A lot of people that live in NZ hate the UK hence the reason they left and don't have much good to say about the place. If you hate the UK then possibly NZ is for you but if you do like certain things such as history, culture, cheaper and warmer houses (at the moment), friends and family etc, etc then you may end up missing the old place.

People always state that they hate the UK weather but in reality NZ is really not that much different weather wise and I can' see why people stating that it is. I was there for 6 years and always found it quite comparible except for the suns intensity in NZ. Surely people don't choose to live at the end of the world for a little bit more sunshine?


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## tamarisk

It's easy to sit here in NZ in a low moment and think about what I'm missing form the UK, but I wondered if anyone had gone back to the UK, and then found they regretted it, or what they missed from NZ? (except from the multitude of llama shows of course.... !)


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## topcat83

mikesurf said:


> I think at the end of the day staying in NZ or going back to England is all up to the individual. A lot of people that live in NZ hate the UK hence the reason they left and don't have much good to say about the place. If you hate the UK then possibly NZ is for you but if you do like certain things such as history, culture, cheaper and warmer houses (at the moment), friends and family etc, etc then you may end up missing the old place.
> 
> People always state that they hate the UK weather but in reality NZ is really not that much different weather wise and I can' see why people stating that it is. I was there for 6 years and always found it quite comparible except for the suns intensity in NZ. Surely people don't choose to live at the end of the world for a little bit more sunshine?


One thing I can say is I never hated the UK - and if I had to go back it wouldn't be the end of the world. And I think that often people who run away from things find that what they're running away from follows them. If we did have to go back, I'd definitely be looking for somewhere outside of the Big Smoke (i.e. any big city). And I'd definitely miss the (generally) traffic-free roads. (there are exceptions - see a previous post!)

But from choice, I'm happier here now.


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## Andrew East

mikesurf said:


> I think at the end of the day staying in NZ or going back to England is all up to the individual. A lot of people that live in NZ hate the UK hence the reason they left and don't have much good to say about the place. If you hate the UK then possibly NZ is for you but if you do like certain things such as history, culture, cheaper and warmer houses (at the moment), friends and family etc, etc then you may end up missing the old place.
> 
> People always state that they hate the UK weather but in reality NZ is really not that much different weather wise and I can' see why people stating that it is. I was there for 6 years and always found it quite comparible except for the suns intensity in NZ. *Surely people don't choose to live at the end of the world for a little bit more sunshine*?


Hah-hah. That's what Spain is for!

Hate is too strong a word. Some people move just because they're bored, in a rut and fancy a change. 

It is ok to move back again, loads of people do it. If you've been brave enough to make the trip once, what can be so bad about making the return leg?


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## Andrew East

tamarisk said:


> It's easy to sit here in NZ in a low moment and think about what I'm missing form the UK, but I wondered if anyone had gone back to the UK, and then found they regretted it, or what they missed from NZ? (except from the multitude of llama shows of course.... !)


:lol:


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## mikesurf

Andrew East said:


> Hah-hah. That's what Spain is for!


Sounds a bit snobbish but I would choose NZ over Spain as I couldn't stand to be living with the type of English expat you get in Spain. Bit of a sweeping statement but there you go.


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## mia5

I like England but some times its nice to do something different and be some where different . We only live once  I haven't moved yet lol ...


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## Irish_nz

Mia5 I totally agree, I am from Northern Ireland and haven't made the move just yet! 
But with the lack of work and the though of doing something different excites me and my family!
I currently work in Scotland and have for the past two years had to travel back and forward, 10 days on 4 days off of which 1 was used travelling.... I want my family life back and as it isn't going to happen in Northern Ireland any time soon we will try something else......


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## Moyes

mikesurf said:


> I think at the end of the day staying in NZ or going back to England is all up to the individual. A lot of people that live in NZ hate the UK hence the reason they left and don't have much good to say about the place. If you hate the UK then possibly NZ is for you but if you do like certain things such as history, culture, cheaper and warmer houses (at the moment), friends and family etc, etc then you may end up missing the old place.
> 
> People always state that they hate the UK weather but in reality NZ is really not that much different weather wise and I can' see why people stating that it is. I was there for 6 years and always found it quite comparible except for the suns intensity in NZ. Surely people don't choose to live at the end of the world for a little bit more sunshine?


The 'clean, green & pure' image in NZ is propaganda! In my humble opinion, NZ is a little overrated...yes, that could be said of most countries I guess 

A major disappointment for me is the lack of wildlife in New Zealand(sheep, cattle, introduced invasive species are not native wildlife) Going for hikes or doing anything outdoors, I noticed that the forest(bush) had minimal birds and wildlife. It felt like a place that is completely devoid of any wildlife. I know that most native species are threatened, endangered and extinct because of the people and government waking up a little to late to try and conserve what they had left. Their poor conservation efforts has resulted in the demise of most native species in NZ. What a shame! All it has now is a forest that is overrun with with invasive species of both fauna and flora. This is not hyped up, this is a fact! South Island, around Queenstown is very scenic.

Cost of living in NZ is very expensive. Renting a decent one bedroom apartment in Auckland is very expensive compared to most countries I have visited. Food prices are way too high. It is can also be a very PC (politically correct) place where you actually can't put the hard word on people when they have digressed and committed bad blunders. The culture of cringing political correctness drives me nuts. It is a horrible thing that is “dangerous,” as it hampers freedom of thought and expression. Proponents(mostly radical progressive liberals) of political correctness turn the world into language and culture by controlling the words we use - by defining the limits of acceptability of the meanings of certain words and ideas that we use. 

NZ has some very nice places, but it is way oversold. I typically advise people that NZ has simply perfected their marketing. I might sound very negative and full of it, but remember this is just my opinion. New Zealand does have it's + compared to South Africa in that the crime rate is low especially violent crime, minimal corruption within the government compared to the ANC, less materialistic and also no poverty stricken areas when compared to SA. If it wasn't for the violent crime, government corruption and future political instability in South Africa, I highly doubt I would have ever left the place.

NZ is a great country for expats that are from countries that have very few opportunities and where government corruption and crime is rife. My post is aimed for expats that are from countries that are similar to NZ(developed countries). It's not worth it if you are not 100% sure!

Anyway, I am grateful for the opportunity to be in NZ, but in a few years I will heading back to South Africa to be closer to family and friends and obviously better weather.(hopefully it won't be in political turmoil by then)

It is what is for now. 


* “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now was once among the things you only hoped for.” 

― Epicurus*


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## Toni in Auckland

tamarisk said:


> We were attracted here by the cheap housing, wide open spaces and the fewer people, all of which are good, but there have turned out to be a lot of things which i didn't expect to mind - being off the main air travel routes so its expensive to get to anywhere else makes me feel quite trapped here; the great outdoors - it _is_ great, but it turns out I like a bit of history / culture more; people are nice when you get to know them, but some small-town NZers can be quite...insular and unwelcoming; it's too far away from family and friends to settle forever, but it's not 'foreign' enough to be that much of an experience while you're here; a vague feeling that for what there is here, we could have just moved to Scotland....


Precisely, that's how I feel too. I didn't expect to encounter small town attitudes in a city like Auckland either. They say New Zealand is one big village don't they. 

Topcat83 85,000 isn't that much for graduate professionals in an expensive city such as Auckland. When you have invested a great deal of time and money in your career and have a certain lifestyle to maintain you do expect to be recompensed properly for your time and effort. I do lot of entertaining from home, breakfast meetings, work late nights etc. all of which have financial implications. I did see you say that you wished your son earned more for the work he does and that he lives like a student. Obviously there are issues there that you would like to see improved. Perhaps self employment could be an option for him, rather than leaving New Zealand like I did?


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## topcat83

Toni in Auckland said:


> ...Topcat83 85,000 isn't that much for graduate professionals in an expensive city such as Auckland. ....


We'll have to beg to differ on that one.


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## Andrew East

With the average property price in Auckland about seven times Toni's annual salary it would have been very difficult for her to get onto the property ladder as a single person if she was already paying rent and didn't have a deposit saved up. She may have used up what savings she had on emigrating.

There are some savings schemes over here to assist people with buying their first homes, something similar is needed over there or is there already a similar scheme?

First home saver account - home

House prices and living costs are getting ridiculous. The NZ government should address this with financial leg-ups for young people, as I feel this is one of the reasons why so many young Kiwis are going abroad to work.


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## Sashagrady

Hi Dizzy 40
Did you get back to the UK? How did you settle, was it the right decision?
Thanks


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## Rosieprimrose

Its an interesting topic, we are in the process of moving back home to NZ after 20 years in OZ. I love Australia, but the call home is too strong and the economy here has gone down the tube big time. 
People can say what they like, as can I, but in the end, even after 20 years I crave familiar things and home. The exodus from Australia by New Zealanders back to NZ is huge ATM, believe it or not power bills in OZ are much more than in NZ and the hidden taxes are crippling. In my street in Sydney, which has about 60 homes, there are 4 families returning to NZ. Personally I feel, as the economic climate gets worse we crave family, familiarity and home. I just hope we are not like friends, they returned home to NZ, lasted 3 weeks and returned to Sydney, the move cost them over 50,000 in real estate fees, moving costs etc!


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## escapedtonz

Rosieprimrose said:


> Its an interesting topic, we are in the process of moving back home to NZ after 20 years in OZ. I love Australia, but the call home is too strong and the economy here has gone down the tube big time. People can say what they like, as can I, but in the end, even after 20 years I crave familiar things and home. The exodus from Australia by New Zealanders back to NZ is huge ATM, believe it or not power bills in OZ are much more than in NZ and the hidden taxes are crippling. In my street in Sydney, which has about 60 homes, there are 4 families returning to NZ. Personally I feel, as the economic climate gets worse we crave family, familiarity and home. I just hope we are not like friends, they returned home to NZ, lasted 3 weeks and returned to Sydney, the move cost them over 50,000 in real estate fees, moving costs etc!


A family who we met on here and coincidentally from the same home town in the UK have just arrived home after spending 18 months here in Wellington. Unfortunately they just didn't settle however in my opinion they should have given it another 12/18 months before making the decision to go home. They haven't mentioned anything really about expecting the move back to be a mistake, but have agreed they will miss it here but at the moment they are very happy to be back with family, friends etc.
Only time will tell if they regret moving back ?

There's also another UK family we know here in Wellington who are traveling back to the UK next week for good. They too have decided they need to be nearer to family and need that additional support, however they do appreciate that the move back may well be a mistake and for that reason they ensured they got PRV for all the family so that they have the option to come back at any point.

Sad times.

Sent from my iPad using ExpatForum


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## Mark D

I have nightmares that I am back in Glasgow. I wake up and am glad it's a dream. There is no better feeling waking up TO your dream. I do miss the big city at my back door tho. Christchurch is so small and has very little feel to it. Went to Sydney at the weekend and it felt so much like Glasgow. Plus 4 new skyscrapers getting built. Recession??? Really. I was glad to be home tho (in NZ) I do miss the kind of work I used to do but that can be found further north if I need it.


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## Bathmark

I came back after living in both Wellington and Auckland. I do regularly visit New Zealand to see my parents who live in Auckland. I guess I do have the best of both worlds! My feelings are still that it was very difficult to earn a decent wage particularly in Auckland. When I revisit I am always staggered by the cost of living and particularly the massively over priced houses in Auckland. I feel that by going back to the UK, I think I can honestly say that that I have been much better off by having the money for holidays etc. I also have a pension here far superior to the ones in NZ. However, I still think that I might give it another go one day! By the way has anyone got any idea what PRV means mentioned in a previous post? I dream of living in a world with out meaningless acronyms!


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## escapedtonz

Bathmark said:


> I came back after living in both Wellington and Auckland. I do regularly visit New Zealand to see my parents who live in Auckland. I guess I do have the best of both worlds! My feelings are still that it was very difficult to earn a decent wage particularly in Auckland. When I revisit I am always staggered by the cost of living and particularly the massively over priced houses in Auckland. I feel that by going back to the UK, I think I can honestly say that that I have been much better off by having the money for holidays etc. I also have a pension here far superior to the ones in NZ. However, I still think that I might give it another go one day! By the way has anyone got any idea what PRV means mentioned in a previous post? I dream of living in a world with out meaningless acronyms!


Permanent Residency Visa as opposed to RV which is Resident Visa.


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## Bathmark

All is clear, so much easier to write in English!


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## Kimbella

Mark D said:


> I have nightmares that I am back in Glasgow. I wake up and am glad it's a dream. There is no better feeling waking up TO your dream. I do miss the big city at my back door tho. Christchurch is so small and has very little feel to it. Went to Sydney at the weekend and it felt so much like Glasgow. Plus 4 new skyscrapers getting built. Recession??? Really. I was glad to be home tho (in NZ) I do miss the kind of work I used to do but that can be found further north if I need it.


Interesting comment you make... I was also in Sydney, all last week, and have to say it REALLY reminded me how much I miss "big city" living... especially given the state Christchurch is currently in... you are spot on, there just isn't much going on here despite what the media and locals would have you believe... We were spoilt for choice of what to do, see, and eat while in Sydney, and are now working on a 3 year plan to move there. Christchurch is my husband's hometown, the only place he's ever known, and even he is exhausted with keeping up appearances that everything is fine in this city. Unless you like pub crawling or going to the mall, there is just a lack of much to do--especially family oriented stuff. Once you've done the usual things: zoo, parks, museum, etc., you find that it just doesn't change often (if at all). And as lovely as it is, the weather is often too cool to do much outside in late spring, winter, and early fall... if you're a gardener or farmer, the area is paradise... if you're a bit more into a constantly changing city landscape, it's seriously lacking. 
Here we come!


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## Mark D

I find transport hard here. Scotland has every possible transport option to get from A-B. They really need a train system here to the city centre. The roads are laid out wrong. They merge on the right on the main north motorway an a bad bend where you can't see the traffic in your mirror or blind spots due to the bend in the road. Shopping and eating too. I found everything I wanted there and felt very much at home, same shop food places, I like living where I am but if only Christchurch was as big. I like having the option of jumping on a train and going into the city for the day. I can't find a reason to go to chch city centre it's got nothing in it I need.


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## Kimbella

Mark D said:


> I find transport hard here. Scotland has every possible transport option to get from A-B. They really need a train system here to the city centre. The roads are laid out wrong. They merge on the right on the main north motorway an a bad bend where you can't see the traffic in your mirror or blind spots due to the bend in the road. Shopping and eating too. I found everything I wanted there and felt very much at home, same shop food places, I like living where I am but if only Christchurch was as big. I like having the option of jumping on a train and going into the city for the day. I can't find a reason to go to chch city centre it's got nothing in it I need.


Again, I fully agree with your comment. We had a rental car the entire week we were there, but only used it one day when we made the drive to the Blue Mountains; otherwise, we walked or took the bus/train ... When we did drive, it was glorious being around other respectful drivers, people who would tap their brakes and open up a space for you when you signaled to move over... people who kept a buffer between you and them, etc. I, too, felt very much at home there... interestingly, I felt very anonymous there, not a single person blinked an eye at my accent or seemed even remotely interested--what a blessing not having an encounter shopping or dining interrupted by having to give a back story on where I'm from. AND, not a single person asked me "how long you staying for?" Several times a week in Chch, a service person invariably asks where I'm from, when I answer, California, they follow with: how long are you visiting for? SIGH. More people assume I'm visiting, rather than living here... 
We loved the free shuttle in Sydney's CBD, and how efficient and timely all their public transport was... and, as you say, you can find anything there, which really helps make it feel more welcoming and friendly. We love our home and neighborhood, but this was our longest trip to Sydney, and while we always enjoyed the shorter stays, this really opened our eyes to just how diverse it is, and just how much that suites are styles... Chch is lovely to look at, but take away the scenery, and not much else is there unfortunately. Not at the moment anyway, and we're both middle aged... we'll be beyond our best years by the time the city is rebuilt. Better to move now and establish ourselves before our years of infirmary hit!


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## Rosieprimrose

This could have been me a few years ago, went to Sydney several times on holiday and moved there. Moving back ASAP to NZ. yes the weather is stunning, yes there is so much to do. My advice to anyone thinking of moving to OZ is this. PLEASE do your homework on the economy and REAL costs of living there. Go so much deeper than house prices, cost of food etc. We earn about $150,000 and have a freehold house and more is being spent than earned. The hidden taxes and levies have gone through the roof in the last year. One thing to consider is the govt are privatising the uni's within the next 3 years, to a model very like the USA one. Some are saying it will add 300% to the cost of sending a child to uni, our personal and home insurances are costing us over $20,000 p/a. Its a wonderful place, don't get me wrong, but do some serious homework. If I had my life over again we would have stayed in NZ and taken holidays over here twice a year. Really don't get much time to do much, even at the weekend, as travel time is very consuming. The Kiwi's are leaving OZ in huge numbers atm and for the first time the movement is now is reverse across the Tasman. At a glance, the place looks booming, the cities being renewed and suburbs going up like mushrooms, but out there people are really hurting and the consumer driven economy is really being shaken up. Happy to talk to anyone in a PM about life in Sydney if they want.


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## Mark D

I agree kimbella. Ignorance is huge here. I feel the only way forward is if you can't beat them join them. No one lets you in they actually speed up to close the gap you would have made it into, the block your exit from a street in heavy traffic and look the other way. If there not 10mm of your bumper either. Maybe it's me but everyone I have spoken to except kiwis think negative of OZ. The kiwi folk have disappointed me as I have already said. They don't live up to the hype. Very negative folk. So glad there is plenty of others here. I too get asked all the time what part of Ireland do you come from? When I say Scotland it's what part of England is that? Did they never do geography? I have also been invited to hundreds of bbqs non of which have happened. I had one and only a very small amount of kiwis turned up plenty scots English n Irish there maybe they though I was just asking as they do and not meaning it. 

Hey it doesn't stop me wanting to be here I will just deal with there. Ignorance right back and ask how long they have been here? Lol.


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## Bathmark

Mark D said:


> I agree kimbella. Ignorance is huge here. I feel the only way forward is if you can't beat them join them. No one lets you in they actually speed up to close the gap you would have made it into, the block your exit from a street in heavy traffic and look the other way. If there not 10mm of your bumper either. Maybe it's me but everyone I have spoken to except kiwis think negative of OZ. The kiwi folk have disappointed me as I have already said. They don't live up to the hype. Very negative folk. So glad there is plenty of others here. I too get asked all the time what part of Ireland do you come from? When I say Scotland it's what part of England is that? Did they never do geography? I have also been invited to hundreds of bbqs non of which have happened. I had one and only a very small amount of kiwis turned up plenty scots English n Irish there maybe they though I was just asking as they do and not meaning it.
> 
> Hey it doesn't stop me wanting to be here I will just deal with there. Ignorance right back and ask how long they have been here? Lol.


It is interesting what you write. I certainly agree about the terrible driving in the whole of New Zealand. However, I think it is wrong for you to tar the whole of New Zealand with the Christchurch brush. I have several Kiwi friends who have moved from Christchurch for a lot of the reasons you have given. I would certainly have no desire to live there. In my time living in Wellington I made more friends then I made living years in England. Auckland was a bit more difficult but my parents have a fantastic social life there. My advice to you is to leave Christchurch and try one of the less English like cities.


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## Mark D

You have a valid point.


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## Kimbella

Rosieprimrose said:


> This could have been me a few years ago, went to Sydney several times on holiday and moved there. Moving back ASAP to NZ. yes the weather is stunning, yes there is so much to do. My advice to anyone thinking of moving to OZ is this. PLEASE do your homework on the economy and REAL costs of living there. Go so much deeper than house prices, cost of food etc. We earn about $150,000 and have a freehold house and more is being spent than earned. The hidden taxes and levies have gone through the roof in the last year. One thing to consider is the govt are privatising the uni's within the next 3 years, to a model very like the USA one. Some are saying it will add 300% to the cost of sending a child to uni, our personal and home insurances are costing us over $20,000 p/a. Its a wonderful place, don't get me wrong, but do some serious homework. If I had my life over again we would have stayed in NZ and taken holidays over here twice a year. Really don't get much time to do much, even at the weekend, as travel time is very consuming. The Kiwi's are leaving OZ in huge numbers atm and for the first time the movement is now is reverse across the Tasman. At a glance, the place looks booming, the cities being renewed and suburbs going up like mushrooms, but out there people are really hurting and the consumer driven economy is really being shaken up. Happy to talk to anyone in a PM about life in Sydney if they want.


I don't doubt for a moment that your experiences are correct; however, hailing from the US myself, it's part of my culture to accept paying more for a higher standard of living... particularly here in Chch the cost of living is grossly out of control for what you get, be it housing prices, food prices, dining out/entertainment prices. I don't want to sound insulting (but it will probably come across as such, unfortunately), but, comparatively, we're paying premium prices for second rate goods and services in this city. Sure, if we shop around, there are exceptions to that, but the cost in looking and sampling g&s is in terms of time (and money if you are sampling) ... and because the standards of customer service and care is so incredibly inconsistent here, it can be a total crap shoot when it comes to what you get for what you spend. After 3+ years of it, I'm just about over that style of doing business. It was so nice having restaurant staff who seemed to genuinely enjoy their work, genuinely enjoy their customers... I'm not saying we won't have the same bad experiences in Oz at some point, but we were there for almost the whole school holiday and every single thing went without a hitch, including every time we stepped into a restaurant (which was every day, at least twice). Invariably in Chch at least one or two of our dining out experiences have something go wrong: our orders go in late, drinks are forgotten, part of the order is wrong, etc. People are polite and courteous, but it doesn't seem like anyone genuinely concerns themselves with delivering excellence to people paying for services... anyway, not meaning to rant, which is what this has turned into! I use the dining out experiences as examples, simply because they're the easiest comparison. And, honestly, we're tired of being cold and wet most of the time! Our plan is a 3 year plan, we'll be making many more trips, and are switching to Airbnb so we can establish contacts with property owners so we get more specific information on the pitfalls we may encounter. Obviously I'll also be asking questions on the Oz forum as well ... I suppose the main thing for us is that financially we're decently well off, which should remain so in the future, and even if we live tighter, we're ok paying more for a premium lifestyle. Nothing in life is free, after all.


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## Rosieprimrose

Its OK to rant Kimbella, I hear what you say about the experiences of eating out, must say Wellington is not much better than ChCh. Guess for us and we are getting near retirement age, we are over the commuting and the fast pace of life here. We love our outdoors, mountain biking, bush walking and we love horse riding too, hopefully the weather in Napier will be acceptable. Must say, on a resent trip to the Napier area, I found the restaurants and service second to none and the prices really good too, I was so impressed.
Good luck with your plan, housing here is pretty good, main thing to remember is to get a really good pest inspection for white ants and unlike NZ, the "Bad" areas, don't necessarily stand out as such, while going through them!


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## ClemClan

Does anybody know whether the lady who started this thread made the move back to England?


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## Kimbella

Rosieprimrose said:


> Its OK to rant Kimbella, I hear what you say about the experiences of eating out, must say Wellington is not much better than ChCh. Guess for us and we are getting near retirement age, we are over the commuting and the fast pace of life here. We love our outdoors, mountain biking, bush walking and we love horse riding too, hopefully the weather in Napier will be acceptable. Must say, on a resent trip to the Napier area, I found the restaurants and service second to none and the prices really good too, I was so impressed.
> Good luck with your plan, housing here is pretty good, main thing to remember is to get a really good pest inspection for white ants and unlike NZ, the "Bad" areas, don't necessarily stand out as such, while going through them!


Thanks for the understanding, Rosie. My rant isn't an indictment of NZ or kiwis, but Chch is simply getting harder to live in, and my husband and I found our extended stay in Sydney offered us the best of both Southern and Northern Hemisphere experiences--we both agreed, it was the best of both worlds. Of course, only time and due diligence will tell!


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## eira1006

I think we can do all the rational checking of cost of living and lifestyle etc, but what determines whether it works out positively or not is who you are at this moment in your life and what you are going to and looking for. I think the emotional reasons are most important to understand

Anyone returning to anywhere after say a decade for example is not the same person who left and nor are any of their friends or relatives in the place they left. Everything changes and experiences have not been shared.

I left the UK single, arrived in NZ on a trip and decided to stay and had a blast. At that time I was into the parties, the pubs, the restaurants, the ski fields, adventure, sports etc, the out all the time lifestyle and Wellington being so compact meant that anyone you met that you liked at work or at a party was someone you could continue to meet up with because everyone was 20 minutes away. That was what I craved and needed then. That continued as I married. We tripped to all the South Pacific Island and OZ also.

I went up the career ladder and found that the opportunities work wise at the level and niche I had moved into shrank as Wellington organisations things moved to Auckland or Australia. So everything changed - me the place and the things I did.

So after a decade I ended up in Australia. Totally different phase in life and I moved to a lifestyle block. Made plenty of friends in my Sydney workplace but most lived hours away so it was harder work to maintain friendships and socialising. My socialising changed dynamics – restaurants were mostly as a couple not a group – occasional nights out with others and more shows and concerts and big festival days etc etc. More cultural and festival things and weekend barbeques.

Another decade later it was back to NZ. My old friends were welcoming but they had all changed and moved on to different interests I did not always recognise and they had differing circles of friends. We were no longer the novelty (from frequent visits back) that everyone made time for. Wellington job opportunities for my field were minuscule and I no longer knew people who could help. Wellington was still a place to go out and stay out but I was different and so were the people I knew.

Now another 5 years on because of age of parents in the UK plus I am not quite prepared to give up on life and live for the lifestyle block but the all night lifestyle possibilities of Wellington no longer cuts it for me. I am looking for other things and to see places and cultural things that are just not available. I didn’t care too much about them years ago but now I am changed. I still love skiing but the outdoors etc is not what I am looking for, or can do. Family brings different dynamics

So Europe beckons but I have to remember that whilst I might know some of what is driving me, I have others to consider and its really hard when you are not single especially when your partner genuinely wants to support you and may not recognise what they truly want and whether they will be happy.

I had friends who lived in NZ for decade having arrived from the UK. They loved it – then they had children and the wife wanted the UK and family – it became the only thing in life. They tried a trial find work in the UK – it got ugly – it didn’t happen and the wife remained unsettled because they returned and stayed in NZ. It broke them for a long while.

In my situation I am concerned that my partner will and does tell me they’d love to go, but they don’t really have the hankering to do it and are just saying and doing it to make me happy. This a joint mission – we either both need to want it or someone is not going to be happy and it won’t work out accordingly. 

If you are working that opens up lots of things in NZ, if you are staying at home then it might be harder. Yes the houses are not European and its an on/off approach to heating unless you earn decently, but that’s important if you stay at home or not if you go out. 

If you are into sports the outdoors or lifestyle blocks or you want to see Van Gogh or see Dinosaurs exhibits or one of the latest shows or top headline below 40 years of age international acts and that is what you live and enjoy at this moment in life then then that makes a huge difference as to going somewhere or returning to somewhere. Big acts infrequently come to NZ and usually it is around the time they are eying retirements. 

Of course if you are just starting a new family and moving away from family and friend support then that is probably the biggest unknown and factor that requires the most truthful searching. 

Rationality around cost of living won’t mean much when you are unhappy and have no support network for that much needed night out or weekend as a couple. Then again for someone else they will face that situation and handle it without any issue and their soul will soar as they ski surf, dive, kayak or whatever.

You are not the same person of a decade ago or more and nor is anything else, and if you are thinking of starting a family it really is something to emotionally think about. We are emotional beings but that is the hardest thing for me at least to get my head around and be truthful about in terms of wants and needs.


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## SteveUKUSNZUK

Dizzy40 said:


> Hi
> 
> We have been here 10 years now and really do have a comfortable lifestyle. Good jobs, great house, nice cars, kids are really happy at school etc.. However, we have very little in the way of a social life as my husband has to be social all day at work and can't be bothered at the weekend. I do go out with my own friends and make an effort, but its not the same as being with people who really know you. I really miss having a family around and feel very lonely a lot of the time.
> 
> I miss my family so much and the thought of our parents getting older in the UK is really nagging at me. I want to be able to spend time with them before they are too old to do anything with us and feel bad that our siblings would be left coping with their problems.
> 
> Both sets of parents have been out twice, but have both said they won't be making the journey again and our siblings have big families and just can't afford to come out.
> 
> Each time we visit, 3 times in the last 10 years, we have had a ball and the kids really get on great with their cousins and grandparents. I really feel for them here having no extended family, especially at holiday times when its just the four of us again sitting around alone. Every time we say goodbye its like ripping my heart out, l can't stand it and completely fall apart, which is not like me at all as l am usually so together.
> 
> We did have a very nice life there before we left and l am more than happy to live in either country. But its 10 years down the line and a lot has changed. We have no idea where we would live and would we adapt back into the UK way of life.
> 
> Its taking over our lives at the moment discussing it over and over. The kids are OK about moving, they are just worried about new schools and think the work will be too hard for them. My husband is really concerned about finding work and providing for us all. But is looking forward to being able to see his beloved football team play again
> 
> My concern is, that we go back to the UK, the kids hate it, my husband cant find work and we are living in a crappy rental and the family we missed so much are busy doing other stuff, and everyone blames me.
> 
> Has anyone else gone back because they missed family so much? What were your experiences like with family etc.. Are you glad you moved back? Or did you hate it and want to move back to NZ?





Dizzy40 said:


> Hi
> 
> We have been here 10 years now and really do have a comfortable lifestyle. Good jobs, great house, nice cars, kids are really happy at school etc.. However, we have very little in the way of a social life as my husband has to be social all day at work and can't be bothered at the weekend. I do go out with my own friends and make an effort, but its not the same as being with people who really know you. I really miss having a family around and feel very lonely a lot of the time.
> 
> I miss my family so much and the thought of our parents getting older in the UK is really nagging at me. I want to be able to spend time with them before they are too old to do anything with us and feel bad that our siblings would be left coping with their problems.
> 
> Both sets of parents have been out twice, but have both said they won't be making the journey again and our siblings have big families and just can't afford to come out.
> 
> Each time we visit, 3 times in the last 10 years, we have had a ball and the kids really get on great with their cousins and grandparents. I really feel for them here having no extended family, especially at holiday times when its just the four of us again sitting around alone. Every time we say goodbye its like ripping my heart out, l can't stand it and completely fall apart, which is not like me at all as l am usually so together.
> 
> We did have a very nice life there before we left and l am more than happy to live in either country. But its 10 years down the line and a lot has changed. We have no idea where we would live and would we adapt back into the UK way of life.
> 
> Its taking over our lives at the moment discussing it over and over. The kids are OK about moving, they are just worried about new schools and think the work will be too hard for them. My husband is really concerned about finding work and providing for us all. But is looking forward to being able to see his beloved football team play again
> 
> My concern is, that we go back to the UK, the kids hate it, my husband cant find work and we are living in a crappy rental and the family we missed so much are busy doing other stuff, and everyone blames me.
> 
> Has anyone else gone back because they missed family so much? What were your experiences like with family etc.. Are you glad you moved back? Or did you hate it and want to move back to NZ?


Well we have just done it. Been back in UK 10 weeks now. 15 years in Albany Auckland to Doncaster UK. Tears of joy quickly turned to other tears. Came home for mum who is elderly and has Dementia and Parkinsons. Visited mum 2 times. She died before my 3rd visit 😔. Now we are nearly all spent out and feel a powerful urge to turn and run away back to NZ. But we cannot. I gave up a stressful but well paid job as well as our rental house and our two cars for this move. Life in UK is hard going, the administrative side of absolutely everything you want to do here is suffocatingly difficult! I have so much more to say but will hold off for now as I am deeply upset at myself for what I have done.


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## Kingdragonfly

Sorry to hear about your troubles. You might want to talk to a local mental health professional at 0800 804 8999

As you probably know, even New Zealand citizens' are having difficulty returning, 

Non-New Zealand citizen will find it hard unless you're a medical professional, or have several million dollars to invest long term.

*Daily Mail UK*: Socialite fashionista slams Primate Minister Jacinda Ardern's ridiculous lottery-style travel rules after missing out on a spot in hotel quarantine and being stranded in the US: 'Just a bunch of muppets'
...
How the hell do you get a spot in [COVID Managed Isolation Quarantine]?' Ridge, who starred in a reality TV series about her family when she was 19, wrote in an Instagram post.

'Number 9000 in the "queue" yesterday and I'm just absolutely baffled. The flights are booked and have been for weeks, then the govt changed the rules (again). Who is running this show? A complete lack of competence. Just a bunch of muppets.'

Ridge tagged Prime Minister Ardern in her post, fuming, 'your lack of compassion for those people abroad is mind boggling. You need to learn to practice what you preach.'
...


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