# Newly Married to Emirati Man...



## Ms.C

Hi Ladies, 

been browsing the forums to see if there is any of you who are in 'my shoes'? Just for chats and advice really.. 26yrs, new in dubai and finding it hard to meet people, it seems its easier if u have kiddies coz then at least you can got to the mum and baby groups  

not really into the idea of putting all my info on the web but would love it if theres any of you ladies that can relate to my situation or (just like me) finding it hard to meet new friends..


----------



## Tropicana

Try the /snip, its far more active and you will find at least half a dozen women in "your shoes" there.


----------



## EXPAT09

Ms.C said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> 26yrs, new in dubai and finding it hard to meet people


& already married?


----------



## PrincessS

how nice. as an arab girl i think it's so nice when english marry arabs  best of luck to you


----------



## Guest

Congratulations for your recently marriage!! :clap2:

Little by little you will meet people, do not stay home. You may get to know friends of your husband...
Do you know speak Arabic?

Cheers


----------



## chubunga

Ms.C said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> been browsing the forums to see if there is any of you who are in 'my shoes'? Just for chats and advice really.. 26yrs, new in dubai and finding it hard to meet people, it seems its easier if u have kiddies coz then at least you can got to the mum and baby groups
> 
> not really into the idea of putting all my info on the web but would love it if theres any of you ladies that can relate to my situation or (just like me) finding it hard to meet new friends..


Hi MsC 
I'm moving to Dubai at the end of August and I'm similar age to you - 27. I'm married (to an English man, not Emirati) but would be happy to meet up for coffee if we get the time! We're moving to start teaching at a new school out there, so will be very busy to start with, but if you'd still like to meet up once we've settled in, I'd be more than happy to 
Apart from people we'll be working with, I won't know any girls out there either, so I'll be in the same boat as you. x


----------



## PrincessS

Tropicana said:


> Try the /snip, its far more active and you will find at least half a dozen women in "your shoes" there.


What is the /snip?


----------



## Gillyl

Ms.C said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> been browsing the forums to see if there is any of you who are in 'my shoes'? Just for chats and advice really.. 26yrs, new in dubai and finding it hard to meet people, it seems its easier if u have kiddies coz then at least you can got to the mum and baby groups
> 
> not really into the idea of putting all my info on the web but would love it if theres any of you ladies that can relate to my situation or (just like me) finding it hard to meet new friends..


hi there! Welcome to Dubai! I am from Ireland and been living here in Dubai for almost 4 years. I married an Emirati last October and are now expecting our first child. I have to say it is very difficult meeting friends here. You meet friends then they leave. Or there is the other situation where you go out have a great night, meets lots of people and exchange numbers, but you never hear from them again, even if you try to call them. I would love to hear from you and you can email me and perhaps meet up sometime!

Gilly


----------



## Tropicana

PrincessS said:


> What is the /snip?


i mentioned a forums name, but apparently that got censored....even though i ddint post a link


----------



## PrincessS

Tropicana said:


> i mentioned a forums name, but apparently that got censored....even though i ddint post a link


oh lol I see


----------



## beeniesmiles

Hi Mrs. C! welcome welcome welcome welcome!!!

and congrats on your new marriage! may it be happy healthy and joyous!

how long have you been in Dubai for?

I'm 25 yrs old, American, not married to an Emirati (or married at all, for that matter) but i am always down to meet cool new people in the age group! where in dubai are you??

also, a great way to meet people is at fitness classes-- zumba, african dance, yoga, etc-- check out you local gym and see whats going on there and you're guaranteed to meet people there. there's also a whole host of pottery/cooking/jewelry making/painting etc classes that you can meet loads of great dubai-ers.

if you wanna meet up-- send me a message and we will make it happen!


----------



## dooby27

Ms.C said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> been browsing the forums to see if there is any of you who are in 'my shoes'? Just for chats and advice really.. 26yrs, new in dubai and finding it hard to meet people, it seems its easier if u have kiddies coz then at least you can got to the mum and baby groups
> 
> not really into the idea of putting all my info on the web but would love it if theres any of you ladies that can relate to my situation or (just like me) finding it hard to meet new friends..



Hi there,

Welcome to the desert! I've been in Dubai for a few years and I am also married to a local (Emirati). I am originally from the UK myself. I can certainly relate to your situation! Feel free to contact me


----------



## dooby27

Gillyl said:


> hi there! Welcome to Dubai! I am from Ireland and been living here in Dubai for almost 4 years. I married an Emirati last October and are now expecting our first child. I have to say it is very difficult meeting friends here. You meet friends then they leave. Or there is the other situation where you go out have a great night, meets lots of people and exchange numbers, but you never hear from them again, even if you try to call them. I would love to hear from you and you can email me and perhaps meet up sometime!
> 
> Gilly


Hi Gilly, 

Just saw your thread too! I have also been in Dubai for 4 years and got married last October to an Emirati. It's always nice to meet fellow expats in the same situation, people who are here for the long haul! Feel free to get in touch, perhaps we could make Ms.C welcome


----------



## TrvlrGyrl83

Hey ladies,
Although not married to an Emirati I'm up for meeting new women my age (27 no kids). PM me if interested. I've only been here since June so I am def up for getting together.  I'm American but I lived in UK for a few years as my hubby is a Brit.


----------



## arizona123

TrvlrGyrl83 said:


> Hey ladies,
> Although not married to an Emirati I'm up for meeting new women my age (27 no kids). PM me if interested. I've only been here since June so I am def up for getting together.  I'm American but I lived in UK for a few years as my hubby is a Brit.


hey there ! 
am Emirati who is married American and she is moving to dubai next month we have three kids together ! i was wondering if you could clear some confusion she has about life here ! she would need some one contract info , so email to me or send to me Thanks


----------



## catb

Hey, only here myself 5 weeks and would love to meet up for a coffee & get to know a few people out here


----------



## MissElle

Hey girls, I just saw your thread (although not married to an Emirati) I am very interested in meeting some new people around my age (30). I moved to Dubai from Sweden in late July to work for an american law firm. Have my boyfriend in Abu Dhabi so it can be quite lonely in the weeks. 

Did you ever meet up all of you? Maybe I can join? 

Ellie


----------



## elarmali

Wow! So nice to hear from so many people in the same place as me. I am American 23 years old, and I married a Lebanese man. But even tho he is of Lebanese nationality, he was born and raised in Dubai. I met him when he came to the USA for school. And we will probably be moving to Dubai around January. I would live to talk to some women in the Dubai area, especially if you are Christian and married to a Muslim, or a Muslim convert married to a Muslim. Would like to shares experiences and maybe make some friends before I move down there.


----------



## perth_mum

Hiya  I'm moving to Dubai in November  Happily married to a Bosnian Muslim, and alhamdullilah a convert as of April  we have a beautiful baby girl who is 16 months old )) we're very excited about the move, however not too popular with the grandparents as you can imagine. look forward to talking to new people from all walks of life inshallah 
Ps. Forgot to mention we're from Australia 

Sent from my iPhone using ExpatForum


----------



## emaratiya

*mar7ba*

hey ladies, I'm from Europe and been living in UAE for long time and planning to get married to my emarati boyfriend. I know much about the culture, locals etc but I really would like to hear the opinion of those who are already married to an emirati. Reaction & acceptance of the family, dealing with his family, "change" of the husband after marriage etc. Are you guys covered? do you work etc?


----------



## 3UAE

Hi there!

I just found this post searching in Internet information about mixed couples especially between Emiratis and Europeans as I am currently in this situation. 
I am a girl from Europe and my boyfriend is from UAE.

I would like to get in touch with girls in my same situation, so please feel free to send me a private message.

Thank you


----------



## gemsy62

Just be careful you are his only girlfriend. I have a few friends from UAE and they are all very proud of the fact they have more than one girlfriend


----------



## Gomimimi

3UAE said:


> Hi there!
> 
> I just found this post searching in Internet information about mixed couples especially between Emiratis and Europeans as I am currently in this situation.
> I am a girl from Europe and my boyfriend is from UAE.
> 
> I would like to get in touch with girls in my same situation, so please feel free to send me a private message.
> 
> Thank you


hi, I'm in the same situation but can't send private messages yet are you planning to marry soon?
all the best for you two:clap2:


----------



## Rania_A

hii 

ooooh yes! it is really hard to meet people here in dubai even there are a lot of people from all over the world hahahah 
I am 24 years old and from vienna-austria but my background is from jordan and 8 month ago i got married and we moved to dubai because of the company of my husband and yeah i still don't know many people. But as i see a lot of people are like this hahahaha It would be so nice if there would be a ladies group that always meets


----------



## Rania_A

Hey 

i just create a new group for us girls! It calls: Just For Us Ladies In Dubai


hope you all join the group!


----------



## Gomimimi

Rania_A said:


> Hey
> 
> i just create a new group for us girls! It calls: Just For Us Ladies In Dubai
> 
> 
> hope you all join the group!


Hmm I actually can't find this group if I type the name of it in the searching option in "social groups":confused2:


----------



## LostinDu

Hellooooooo ladies,

I have been in Dubai since February 2012, and finding it hard to meet new people (NICE people).
I got so happy reading your posts and realizing there are actually people like me! 
My boyfriend is here, both of us are Lebanese, but he has 2 jobs (day and night) and I am alone most of the time.

I would love to have new friends (not only my boyfriend's friends), but most of people around seem rude! 

I will try to join the group Just For Us Ladies In Dubai in the hope of meeting new nice people.

Cheeeeers


----------



## pictz

emaratiya said:


> hey ladies, I'm from Europe and been living in UAE for long time and planning to get married to my emarati boyfriend. I know much about the culture, locals etc but I really would like to hear the opinion of those who are already married to an emirati. Reaction & acceptance of the family, dealing with his family, "change" of the husband after marriage etc. Are you guys covered? do you work etc?


Hi emaratiya!
Which country are you from? I'm spanish married to an emarati. My experience has been positive. His family was a bit reluctant to the marriage when he first announced that he wanted to marry me, but it took them only a couple of months to chnage their mind and finally accepted the engagement. Eversince they have been always very nice and treated me like a daughter/sister. Some members of the extended family have been a bit more sceptical about the marriage because they are more close minded, but they are still respectfull. Has he introduced you to his family already? 

I'm not covered except for certain occasions in which I may wear an abaya. Also, I continued working after marriage. However, this is my experience, and you need to keep in mind that each experience is different. I think it is very important to clear where each of you stand. After all, it's a different culture so you need to know exactly what to expect from each other. Also, in the marriage contact you may add clauses (it's a very common practice) such as you will keep your job or your husband won't interfiere in your professional life.

I hope this helped a bit. When are you getting married?


----------



## pamela0810

pictz said:


> I'm not covered except for certain occasions in which I may wear an abaya. Also, I continued working after marriage. However, this is my experience, and you need to keep in mind that each experience is different. I think it is very important to clear where each of you stand. After all, it's a different culture so you need to know exactly what to expect from each other.  Also, in the marriage contact you may add clauses (it's a very common practice) such as you will keep your job or your husband won't interfiere in your professional life.
> 
> I hope this helped a bit. When are you getting married?


I would also add an additional clause to the contract that your passport stays in your possession ALL the time as that will come in very handy when things don't necessarily go as planned.


----------



## Abdul_B

^That's a very silly clause to add, it just means you're going into the marriage with clear distrust and bad intentions...:/


----------



## pamela0810

Abdul_B said:


> ^That's a very silly clause to add, it just means you're going into the marriage with clear distrust and bad intentions...:/


You are right.....because preparing a "marriage contract" means that you love and trust that person wholly and unintentionally? The man could very well, one day decide that he didn't like the food that his wife has prepared and divorce the woman, hold her and her children captive in the UAE because she agreed to hand over her passport and sign her life off to her husband. 

Why is it necessary to sign a contract to allow the wife to work in the first place? It's a marriage, not a prison sentence. Just another example of the archaic way of life that some people practice.


----------



## Abdul_B

Exactly like you said, it's a marriage not a prison sentence. We don't all plan on divorcing our wives if we don't like their cooking....unless they deliberately try to poison us! . I'm just saying, people get married because they "love and trust that person wholly"....

Besides, seriously that's a silly clause...if somebody holds your passport you can just go to the embassy and get a new one. You're not protecting yourself by "that much" by putting in a clause like that....

Just go in with a bit more faith is all I'm saying ....maybe adding a clause like him not stopping you from working or maintaining a certain standard of living etc...


----------



## Gomimimi

What's about adding something like the "right to split up" directly as a woman especially when he might take a second wife?or the right to travel alone?


----------



## Abdul_B

You can put that he cannot marry another woman whilst married to you?


----------



## Gavtek

[Begin Contract]
1. The right to be treated as an equal in the marriage.
[/End Contract]


----------



## pamela0810

Abdul_B said:


> Exactly like you said, it's a marriage not a prison sentence. We don't all plan on divorcing our wives if we don't like their cooking....unless they deliberately try to poison us! . I'm just saying, people get married because they "love and trust that person wholly"....
> 
> Besides, seriously that's a silly clause...if somebody holds your passport you can just go to the embassy and get a new one. You're not protecting yourself by "that much" by putting in a clause like that....
> 
> Just go in with a bit more faith is all I'm saying ....maybe adding a clause like him not stopping you from working or maintaining a certain standard of living etc...


I'll tell you why it's not a silly clause. No one gets into a marriage preparing for the worst. However, speaking from experience, when I got divorced, the Emarati Lawyer that my husband hired advised him that even though we are getting divorced and I get full custody of my child, the passports stay with him. Which basically means that I would not be able to leave the country without his permission. Luckily for me, my husband and I are very close and he shot the idea down instantly. But there are plenty of people that aren't so lucky.

Like I said, if someone is silly enough to even entertain the idea of signing a contract or needs to take permission from their spouse to be able to work, then making sure that you hold on to your passport really isn't that silly at all.


----------



## Gomimimi

I thought the man gets the custody of the children in UAE if they get divorced?


----------



## pamela0810

Gomimimi said:


> I thought the man gets the custody of the children in UAE if they get divorced?


I wasn't married to an Emirati but if this is the case....then put each and every clause in that contract that you can think of because if and when all hell breaks loose, that contract is the only thing that will protect the rights that you as an equal are entitled to any other place in this world.


----------



## Gomimimi

Aha ok but is it allowed to split up as a woman even if the husband doesn't want?or does he have to agree fully?


----------



## pictz

Gomimimi said:


> I thought the man gets the custody of the children in UAE if they get divorced?


As per UAE law, the custody of the children is normally given to the mother, as well as the family home, and the husband is obligated to pay a monthly allowance. I don't know if you can add any clause regarding divorce because divorces are regulated by laws.


----------



## pictz

Gomimimi said:


> Aha ok but is it allowed to split up as a woman even if the husband doesn't want?or does he have to agree fully?


Your husband doesn't need to agree but you will need to go to court and have valid reason to get divorce.


----------



## pictz

pamela0810 said:


> You are right.....because preparing a "marriage contract" means that you love and trust that person wholly and unintentionally? The man could very well, one day decide that he didn't like the food that his wife has prepared and divorce the woman, hold her and her children captive in the UAE because she agreed to hand over her passport and sign her life off to her husband.
> 
> Why is it necessary to sign a contract to allow the wife to work in the first place? It's a marriage, not a prison sentence. Just another example of the archaic way of life that some people practice.


To get married we sign a contract, and it is in that contract where each party decide if additional clauses are added or not. So it isn't a pre-marrital contract or something like that. 

Adding a clause such as the husband not interfering in the wife's job could help if there is any disagreement in the future regarding this and the wife wants the divorce. The woman can easily get the divorce because the husband did not comply with the clause.


----------



## pamela0810

pictz said:


> _To get married we sign a contract_, and it is in that contract where each party decide if additional clauses are added or not. So _it isn't a pre-marrital contract_ or something like that.
> 
> Adding a clause such as the husband not interfering in the wife's job could help if there is any disagreement in the future regarding this and the wife wants the divorce. The woman can easily get the divorce because the husband did not comply with the clause.


How is this contract different from a pre-marital contract?


----------



## pictz

This is the contract we need to sign in court to get married. Thus, it's mandatory to get married. Let me put it this way, it's the document we sign at the time of the "i do". The pre marrital contract is optional.


----------



## Jynxgirl

pictz said:


> As per UAE law, the custody of the children is normally given to the mother, as well as the family home, and the husband is obligated to pay a monthly allowance. I don't know if you can add any clause regarding divorce because divorces are regulated by laws.


I would strongly suggest that anyone understand what they are getting into fully. No one wants to think things will not go right, but the reality is the uae has one of the highest divorce rates in the world. And the rate for expats married to emiratis is 40% higher then the dismal divorce rate of local/local marriages. And there is a reason  Inshallah, the marriage will be long and prosperous... 

Anyhow, this statement I find odd from someone who is actually in a local marriage. Custody of the children is normally given to the man and his family when involving a non emirati wife.... It is suppose to be up until age 7 for boys, and age nine or puberty for girls that they live with the mother, but seems that isnt followed very often. The father gets the children. They are his. If the children are not given to the dad and he agrees to let the wife have them after divorce (doesnt happen) and she stays in the uae (very few will ever allow their kids to leave the country to be raised), if at any point the wife remarries or even has a boyfriend, then the kids can not longer live with the mother and will immediatly be moved to the fathers family. When is an emirati wife, most the time it is the same family... as is cousins usually!

Western people are not going to get the contract thing. It though is how things are done in islamic marriages. This contract is to lay out what is expected of the husband and the wife. What you will receive and what he will receive. What he will do, what you will do. They are fricken ridiculous here in the uae.... And that is being very nice about it. He is marrying a non emirati... it costs him less. But in my opinion, most women are selling themselves VERY short. The local woman might be ridiculous in what they are asking, but non emirati woman are just thinking they are entering into a marriage as if in their home country. Put what you require. Put that you require to be able to go home once a year or twice a year. Put that you require to be allowed to work until you have a child. Put that you require to have your own villa and that you will not share with another wife. Put that you require your own vehicle. Put that you require a monthly allowance of xxx to spend on your own needs if you are not working. Put put put put put.... 

And most importantly... 

Put what gold amount you require at the start of the marriage and put it in safe keeping. And please ask for an amount that will allow yourself to move home and/or reset up in the event of divorce as probly will happen, not maybe....


----------



## Tropicana

pictz said:


> As per UAE law, the custody of the children is normally given to the mother, as well as the family home, and the husband is obligated to pay a monthly allowance. I don't know if you can add any clause regarding divorce because divorces are regulated by laws.


Are you sure of that? 

And in case of the mother being non-Muslim, i am pretty sure custody goes to the father


----------



## pictz

Tropicana said:


> Are you sure of that?
> 
> And in case of the mother being non-Muslim, i am pretty sure custody goes to the father


Well, this is what I have seen around. I know at least five cases in which the mother got the custody, remained in the family home and the father was obligated to support the children. However, I may agree with you that if the mother is non-Muslim, she may have issues with the custody.


----------



## pamela0810

pictz said:


> Well, this is what I have seen around. I know at least five cases in which the mother got the custody, remained in the family home and the father was obligated to support the children. However, I may agree with you that if the mother is non-Muslim, she may have issues with the custody.


That's a lot of divorce cases. Were they all Emirati husbands and non-Emirati wives? Besides, shouldn't the woman be converted to Islam at the time of marriage so the point of her being non-muslim doesn't really arise.

If she's non-Emirati, she will definitely have challenges with the custody issue because as Jynxgirl has pointed out, the children belong to the father. He has the final say on what can and cannot be done.


----------



## pictz

pamela0810 said:


> That's a lot of divorce cases. Were they all Emirati husbands and non-Emirati wives? Besides, shouldn't the woman be converted to Islam at the time of marriage so the point of her being non-muslim doesn't really arise.
> 
> If she's non-Emirati, she will definitely have challenges with the custody issue because as Jynxgirl has pointed out, the children belong to the father. He has the final say on what can and cannot be done.


Indeed, too many cases, but isn't divorce very high in the uae...Two of them were emaraties married to foreigners (one egyptian, one french). The other ones emaraties married to emaraties.


----------



## Gomimimi

pictz said:


> Your husband doesn't need to agree but you will need to go to court and have valid reason to get divorce.


Do u know if it's a valid reason to divorce him if he takes a second wife for example? Thx for your help


----------



## ccr

Jynxgirl said:


> ...Put put put put put...


And that's called a "marriage" ? 

Read more like a business partnership between 2 uneasy strangers...


----------



## pamela0810

Gomimimi said:


> Do u know if it's a valid reason to divorce him if he takes a second wife for example? Thx for your help


If you didn't put this in the contract, then I'm guessing no, it's not a valid reason.

In Islam, men are allowed to have 4 wives for very valid reasons of course. I believe if the wife is barren, etc etc. If your husband has a valid reason, then you cannot stop him from marrying someone else.


----------



## pamela0810

ccr said:


> And that's called a "marriage" ?
> 
> Read more like a business partnership between 2 uneasy strangers...


Most of the time, they are strangers who have probably met just once or twice before getting married!


----------



## Enzoo

*social life*



Ms.C said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> been browsing the forums to see if there is any of you who are in 'my shoes'? Just for chats and advice really.. 26yrs, new in dubai and finding it hard to meet people, it seems its easier if u have kiddies coz then at least you can got to the mum and baby groups
> 
> not really into the idea of putting all my info on the web but would love it if theres any of you ladies that can relate to my situation or (just like me) finding it hard to meet new friends..




hi there, 

i guess your dilemma is finding hard to meet people. i guess you have to start meeting your Emarati husband's family first. get to know them all and start socializing with them. after that, you can start to socialize also with your hubby's business people if he has a business. Dubai has lots of things to offer, i guess you can meet many other people in the malls and coffee shops in dubai just for chats.


----------



## UAE UAEEE !!

Hello girls!

I am a Spanish girl living in the UAE and my boyfriend whom I met here is Emirati too. I would love to get in touch with all of you ***********

See you soon


----------



## UAE UAEEE !!

Hello girls! :tongue1:

I am a Spanish girl living in the UAE and my boyfriend whom I met here is Emirati too. I would love to get in touch with all of you, please send me a private message as it is not allowed to write my email address. 

And I have one question; Is it true that an Emirati man working for Military service, Army or Police is not allowed to get marry a European woman?


----------



## Gomimimi

Hey 
I don't think it's possible for men working for the government/military etc. to marry a foreign woman. 
You can't send or receive private messages till you didn't do 5 posts in the forum.


----------



## jojo

UAE UAEEE !! said:


> Hello girls! :tongue1:
> 
> I am a Spanish girl living in the UAE and my boyfriend whom I met here is Emirati too. I would love to get in touch with all of you, please send me a private message as it is not allowed to write my email address.


Putting an e-mail address on our forum is the quickest way of filling up your in box with spam etc, so we remove them for your own convenience. The best way to make friends with folk on the forum is to chat on here. PMs are fine once you've established who you like and who you want to get in touch with, but til then, just chat and ask questions. You'll soon fit in and become part of the crowd. 

Welcome 

Jo xxx


----------



## Jynxgirl

It is possible for men who are in the uae military, to marry a foreign woman. I hope he didnt tell you this! Emirati men can be VERY sly.... hope you have been introduced to his parents and family. Already doesnt sound good. 

Good luck!


----------



## dizzyizzy

Gomimimi said:


> Hey
> I don't think it's possible for men working for the government/military etc. to marry a foreign woman.
> You can't send or receive private messages till you didn't do 5 posts in the forum.


That is true. They can only marry Emiratis.


----------



## dizzyizzy

Jynxgirl said:


> It is possible for men who are in the uae military, to marry a foreign woman. I hope he didnt tell you this! Emirati men can be VERY sly.... hope you have been introduced to his parents and family. Already doesnt sound good.
> 
> Good luck!


Really?? I know a kiwi girl who lived together with an Emirati guy who worked for the military, and he eventually left her because he said he could not marry her because she's not Emirati


----------



## pictz

UAE UAEEE !! said:


> Hello girls! :tongue1:
> 
> I am a Spanish girl living in the UAE and my boyfriend whom I met here is Emirati too. I would love to get in touch with all of you, please send me a private message as it is not allowed to write my email address.
> 
> And I have one question; Is it true that an Emirati man working for Military service, Army or Police is not allowed to get marry a European woman?


Hola!
That's true. If they want to marry a foreigner (also arabs from other nationalities), they are required to apply for approval which is denied most of the time. I think they do exceptions only if the future wife is a relative.


----------



## Jynxgirl

I have an emirati close friend who has a russian wife. He was army and a stanford degree, so assume officer but could ask what his rank was. 

And lets just say, I know ALOT of emirati military guys who are currently in  and a number of them also have foreign wives.

Just saying... he probly didnt leave her because of his career...


----------



## UAE UAEEE !!

Hi there girls,

dizzyizzy I like your avatar, hahaha...

pictz , I am from Spain too!

Jynxgirl thanks for your answer.


By the way, I would like to get in touch with European girls who are in a relationship or married to an Emirati man.

Cheers


----------



## pictz

Jynxgirl said:


> I have an emirati close friend who has a russian wife. He was army and a stanford degree, so assume officer but could ask what his rank was.
> 
> And lets just say, I know ALOT of emirati military guys who are currently in  and a number of them also have foreign wives.
> 
> Just saying... he probly didnt leave her because of his career...



If I remember right, the restriction was implemented around 2004 so it's not that old. Probably your friends got married before then.


----------



## Jynxgirl

pictz said:


> If I remember right, the restriction was implemented around 2004 so it's not that old. Probably your friends got married before then.


Everyday I am around emirati military. I am not telling you hearsay but guys who are youngish and not long been married. A number have foreign wives. 

My close friend has been married a long while, prior to 2004 though.


----------



## UAE UAEEE !!

I would appreciated to know if there is a grain of truth in the question I asked.
How can I find it out?
Just wondering...

Thank you girls


----------



## Bebella

Hello!

Im in the same position 

I would like to know if an officer can get permission to marry a foreigner or not? If so, how?

xoxo


----------



## Bebella

Jynxgirl said:


> I have an emirati close friend who has a russian wife. He was army and a stanford degree, so assume officer but could ask what his rank was.
> 
> And lets just say, I know ALOT of emirati military guys who are currently in  and a number of them also have foreign wives.
> 
> Just saying... he probly didnt leave her because of his career...




Hi! Could you please provide some more information? Im in this terrible situation myself... we are very confused and would like to know what process your friend/s went through in order to obtain such approval/permission?

Your help will be greatly appreciated


----------



## Elza

I know of some Emiratis working in the army who have foreign wives, but usually they got married before the ban. I also know of other couples who were not given the permission to marry and thus had to part... But honestly I think there's always a way out, if a man really cares he can choose the woman over the job and will simply quit, get married and search for some other job outside the military, police ...


----------



## Elza

*UAE UAEEE !!
* I've been married to an Emirati for 5 years, if you want you can pm me.


----------



## Bebella

Elza said:


> *UAE UAEEE !!
> * I've been married to an Emirati for 5 years, if you want you can pm me.


Hello!!! Thank you for your reply!! But I'm still on limited profile and cannot message privately :s


----------



## Bebella

Elza said:


> *UAE UAEEE !!
> * I've been married to an Emirati for 5 years, if you want you can pm me.


Maybe you can message me?? please do try.


----------



## Bebella

UAE UAEEE !! said:


> I would appreciated to know if there is a grain of truth in the question I asked.
> How can I find it out?
> Just wondering...
> 
> Thank you girls


Have you found out any information?? Please share if you have


----------



## Bebella

pictz said:


> If I remember right, the restriction was implemented around 2004 so it's not that old. Probably your friends got married before then.


I have read about this law being implemented around 2003/2004. Anyone else have further information on this?


----------



## Bebella

dizzyizzy said:


> That is true. They can only marry Emiratis.


I hope not  Seems zoo very unfair....


----------



## Elza

hi Bebella! I too can't send pm's yet. 

I think you probably won't find much helpful information from expats... Who can know the laws of the country better than an Emirati man? Who can know his specific situation better, who should act on behalf of your marriage? Why does not he simply call/visit relevant authorities at his job (military?) and ask all the questions in details? He can call the court, lawyers as well. 

As far as I know, it's not allowed for them (officers) to get married to foreigners. But if exceptions exists, then some did get approval after all. Some advise to apply for approval again and again.. Maybe high connections can help ("wasta")

My husband knows a military man who went for a training to Europe and returned back with a Scandinavian wife. He was told he married a foreign woman without permission and should divorce her. He did not divorce her and they fired him. Later on he found a better job outside the military and has a good life now.

There was a thread on a Russian forum where one young woman was asking advice about the very same thing. She had been engaged to her Emirati fiancee for 2-3 years and he still did not got the permission to marry her. She was desperate. Russian expats could help her much, because it depends on the man, his attitude, luck... So, they ended their engagement.


----------



## pamela0810

Don't mean to be too negative but have you considered the possibility that the Emarati men might be using this rule as an excuse to not marry you but just string you along till they find a suitable virgin to marry?


----------



## Elza

pamela0810 said:


> Don't mean to be too negative but have you considered the possibility that the Emarati men might be using this rule as an excuse to not marry you but just string you along till they find a suitable virgin to marry?


Such men do exist, I heard about such. Some date many foreign girlfriends one after another (or simultaneously) and feel secure dating them because after all he has a way to get out of these relationships, an excuse "honey, I can't marry you because of the law and my career, you know it". But there are also many girls that don't mind being temporary girlfriends of locals...(from poorer countries, low morals, who just want to have fun themselves or naive that believe even being a mistress, a gf of a local man is kind of prestigious, cool, a good catch )


----------



## Elza

But I hope ladies who are on this thread have descent men, who are willing to overcome the obstacles to be together. I sincerely wish you luck!

I used to know a girl who's husband got a great diplomatic job but was soon rejected for the position because of his foreign wife... after some time (after talking to someone high) they made an exception for him.

One man was offered a job in the Ministry of Interior and his wife was a foreigner. These days many men occupying high positions in the UAE ( big companies, royals) have foreign wife, so, I think it's difficult for them to be strict about this law.


----------



## pamela0810

Elza said:


> But I hope ladies who are on this thread have descent men, who are willing to overcome the obstacles to be together. I sincerely wish you luck!
> 
> I used to know a girl who's husband got a great diplomatic job but was soon rejected for the position because of his foreign wife... after some time (after talking to someone high) they made an exception for him.
> 
> One man was offered a job in the Ministry of Interior and his wife was a foreigner. These days many men occupying high positions in the UAE ( big companies, royals) have foreign wife, so, I think it's difficult for them to be strict about this law.


Perhaps Wife number 2 is a foreign wife and the first wife is Emirati? Just wondering?


----------



## Mst80

pamela0810 said:


> Don't mean to be too negative but have you considered the possibility that the Emarati men might be using this rule as an excuse to not marry you but just string you along till they find a suitable virgin to marry?


Bitter, bitter, bitter comments... Pamela, why do you have such bitter comments?

Yes, there are men out there that have foreign girlfriends and then use any kind of excuse to break up with them and marry a local instead. For many of those men, this was the idea from the beginning, and other would end up leaving the foreign girlfriend to have a local wife because the local wife is chosen by the family, so the marriage will be supported by family and society. Which makes things easy, especially is the wife is a relative. 

However, the rule exists and I'm telling you this from own experience. My husband was one of those working for a government office affected by the rule. They had just implemented the rule when he joined them. I guess that in his case, the rule was strictly implemented because he was sent to the US to study, so they wanted to avoid him marrying someone there. However, the rule was still affecting him once back home. We meet after he returned from the States, and he was not sure on how the rule was affecting him now that he was back home. Thus, he applied to the security committee for the approval. Unfortunately, the request was disapproved twice. I was aware of the whole process because I had to provide documentation too (basically, they investigate me and my family too). The rule was justified by security reasons, hence all the documents, but obviously, the rational behind was to cut down the number of foreign marriages.

After two failed attempts my husband decided to leave his job. This, was not easy at all. His resignation letter was not accepted at the beginning so he had to insist on his decision, at the same time, it took 3 months for his office to finally release him and during all that time he kept receiving calls from his superiors trying to convince him not to do it. Finally, he was able to resign but there was one more thing. Because he did not work with them long enough, he had to pay back all the money invested on his education: foundation course, bachelor degree in the States, 5 years salary (the salary he got while in the States), airplane tickets (twice per year), and other expenses such books... This is why I laugh every time that I hear of foreign wives being cheap marriages... If you are still skeptical regarding the story, I can tell you that I'm not a naive person. I have seen all the documents, I have witnessed the calls and I have full access to my husbands accounts, so I have been informed all the time on what was happening. 

The bottom line of my story is: First, do not to generalize, each person is different so it is not fair to have bad image of a whole society because of some. Also, you can hurt the feelings of some people. I don't like my kid to be told that his father married his mother because it was the “cheap deal,” when in fact, it was the opposite. His father had to fight a lot to be in this relationship. Secondly, for those girls that are writing to ask for advice on this situation, it is your boyfriend the one who has to seek advice and be informed on what he needs to do. He needs to apply for the permission to his superior. He may be lucky and get approved, but he will need to be clear with you on what would be the next step if the approval gets denied.


----------



## Tropicana

Mst80 said:


> The bottom line of my story is: First, do not to generalize, each person is different so it is not fair to have bad image of a whole society because of some. Also, you can hurt the feelings of some people. I don't like my kid to be told that his father married his mother because it was the “cheap deal,” when in fact, it was the opposite. His father had to fight a lot to be in this relationship.


Of course we should not generalize : however even news reports publicly mention that one reason many men marry outside the region is because of higher costs involved in marrying within the country. That may not be the case in every marriage, but is a factor in quite a few.
You are lucky to have a husband who fought so much to marry you


----------



## Felixtoo2

Isn't one of the Senior Air Force Officers in the Emiratee Display Team, Al Fursan, married to an expat?


----------



## pamela0810

Mst80 said:


> Bitter, bitter, bitter comments... Pamela, why do you have such bitter comments?


It wasn't a comment, it was a question....not bitter and hardly cause for all the melodrama to be honest.
Not all expats are going to get the fairytale ending that you did so my intention was to just make them aware that this could be a possibility.


----------



## Elphaba

pamela0810 said:


> It wasn't a comment, it was a question....not bitter and hardly cause for all the melodrama to be honest.
> Not all expats are going to get the fairytale ending that you did so my intention was to just make them aware that this could be a possibility.


Sadly, you are right in pointing out the potential problems. Anyone who has been here a while will be aware of problem cases, particularly where the foreign wife has been denied access to her children.


----------



## Jynxgirl

Mst80 said:


> The bottom line of my story is: First, do not to generalize, each person is different so it is not fair to have bad image of a whole society because of some.


First and only post. Bit odd. 

Whats the local saying... A man can eat whatever he wish, but should dress as others do. Generalizations are usually pretty much generally correct.... 

Already commented on the post. It is possible usually. Was just speaking to a pilot a bit ago who is pretty recently married to a british lady....  She is a second wife though but know of number others who have foreign wives as first and only.


----------



## Mst80

Jynxgirl said:


> First and only post. Bit odd.
> 
> Whats the local saying... A man can eat whatever he wish, but should dress as others do. Generalizations are usually pretty much generally correct....
> 
> Already commented on the post. It is possible usually. Was just speaking to a pilot a bit ago who is pretty recently married to a british lady....  She is a second wife though but know of number others who have foreign wives as first and only.


Well, I guess that there has to be always a first post. I imagine you posted a first time at some point too. 

Anyways, I don't want to start a discusion on "I know this person" or "I know that other person." I just wanted to share my experience and opinion on the topic, that's it. This is why I said that generalizations are not fair... I can also generalize about americans... And maybe you may be right about generalizations.


----------



## ccr

Mst80 said:


> ...I just wanted to share my experience...


Condolences...


----------



## UAE UAEEE !!

*To Mst 80* 

Thank you very much for your post.

Your words have touched me.

I assume you have been lucky.


----------



## paris.k

Hi everyone, 

I have just moved to Abu Dhabi from the UK and am really struggling to settle in and meet new people. 

I am 22 years old from the UK and would love to meet some fellow ladies for some tea and a general chit chat.


----------



## Enzoo

hello there . i see your dilemma but i guess you can find lots of ladies in the malls, or in public places . have lots of your fellow expat from UK here in dubai and im sure pretty soon youll have good company.


----------



## pamela0810

Elza said:


> try // // forum, they arrange gatherings


As per forum rules, you cannot recommend other forums and quite honestly, from a personal perspective, that is the last forum I would ever recommend to anyone. 

It's filled with a bunch of whiny, annoying housewives that have nothing better to do than to complain about their maids not taking proper care of their kids while they go shopping, get preened and pruned and gossip over coffee!


----------



## ccr

pamela0810 said:


> It's filled with a bunch of whiny, annoying housewives that have nothing better to do than to complain about their maids not taking proper care of their kids while they go shopping, get preened and pruned and gossip over coffee!


I sensed a tad of jealousy there, Pammy... 

I kept telling my wife that I need to reincarnate as one of those women...


----------



## pamela0810

ccr said:


> I sensed a tad of jealousy there, Pammy...
> 
> I kept telling my wife that I need to reincarnate as one of those women...


Wouldn't it be just amazing?! 

I stopped being jealous when one of the women got mad at her maid for ruining the 10,000dhs rug and all the other members suggested that they deduct a portion of her salary each month to make up for it!


----------



## Tropicana

pamela0810 said:


> Wouldn't it be just amazing?!
> 
> I stopped being jealous when one of the women got mad at her maid for ruining the 10,000dhs rug and all the other members suggested that they deduct a portion of her salary each month to make up for it!


I am sure it wasnt a patch on an epic thread on a member catching, on camera, her 17 yr old son going to the maid's room


----------



## pamela0810

Tropicana said:


> I am sure it wasnt a patch on an epic thread on a member catching, on camera, her 17 yr old son going to the maid's room


That site is good for entertainment purposes


----------



## wazza2222

pamela0810 said:


> That site is good for entertainment purposes


Oh boy oh boy! I am off If i'm not back soon, I'll be over there...


----------



## shania_

Hi everyone,

Pretty new to this forum. My name is Shania and I am highly keen on relocating to Dubai in the next couple of years. I have been reading about the marriage law in regards to men from the military, army or police not being allowed to marry non-emirati women.

Does this also apply to Emirati firefighters or firemen as well? Really need to know this asap.

Thank You,

Shania


----------



## crt454

Congratulations on your marriage!!


----------



## 84RBIE

Hi there! I just moved to Dubai at the start of this year from Brisbane and I married an emirati too. I have made some friends but only through my husband. We don't have children and I don't work, so I am finding it difficult to make friends as I don't get out much!


----------



## Gomimimi

Except finding friends are you happy with your life over there? I'm just asking because I'm also considering to marry an emirati and move there


----------



## 84RBIE

Gomimimi said:


> Except finding friends are you happy with your life over there? I'm just asking because I'm also considering to marry an emirati and move there


I absolutely love it here. Best decision we ever made. Although I must say it was an easy transition for me as my husband and his father did a lot of the running around for our marriage and my visa documents. Without them I would've been totally lost.


----------



## Gomimimi

Ahaa that's great to hear. So you didn't have problems with the different culture or something like that?


----------



## 84RBIE

Gomimimi said:


> Ahaa that's great to hear. So you didn't have problems with the different culture or something like that?


I am born and bred in Australia and was dating my husband for 7-8years prior to getting married. I had made several trips here to make sure it is what I wanted and investigated everything whilst I was here. No issue with the culture so far as its extremely westernized.


----------



## vbella

*Moving to Dubai w/my Emirati husband*

Hello everyone,

I am coming to Dubai for a visit soon and would love to meet or e-mail anyone who is married to Emirati's living in Dubai. My husband really wants us to move there and I have some reservations - would love to hear of your experiences.

Looking forward to speaking with anyone out there!


----------



## foow

Ms.C said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> been browsing the forums to see if there is any of you who are in 'my shoes'? Just for chats and advice really.. 26yrs, new in dubai and finding it hard to meet people, it seems its easier if u have kiddies coz then at least you can got to the mum and baby groups
> 
> not really into the idea of putting all my info on the web but would love it if theres any of you ladies that can relate to my situation or (just like me) finding it hard to meet new friends..


Hi i can relate i have been married 27yrs (lol u were not even born) even now freinds in the uae emirati or otherwise not an easy thing. If you wanna chat rant im here: Im muslim btw and do cover pray ect. But am normal really


----------



## foow

Ms.C said:


> Hi Ladies,
> 
> been browsing the forums to see if there is any of you who are in 'my shoes'? Just for chats and advice really.. 26yrs, new in dubai and finding it hard to meet people, it seems its easier if u have kiddies coz then at least you can got to the mum and baby groups
> 
> not really into the idea of putting all my info on the web but would love it if theres any of you ladies that can relate to my situation or (just like me) finding it hard to meet new friends..


OOOps just realised this thread started a yr ago !!! oh well Hope all is well with you!


----------



## Rasha Refaat

Hii Foow .. me too was reading it and found out that it started way back ..


----------



## foow

Rasha Refaat said:


> Hii Foow .. me too was reading it and found out that it started way back ..


im trying to figure if there is a way to bring most recent posts to the front :confused2:


----------



## foow

84RBIE said:


> Hi there! I just moved to Dubai at the start of this year from Brisbane and I married an emirati too. I have made some friends but only through my husband. We don't have children and I don't work, so I am finding it difficult to make friends as I don't get out much!


Hi 84Rbie How are you faring? Hope you are well:ballchain:


----------



## MaidenScotland

foow said:


> im trying to figure if there is a way to bring most recent posts to the front :confused2:





Your control panel.
Settings an option
Thread display option


----------



## foow

MaidenScotland said:


> Go into your edit options
> 
> 
> Thread Display Mode
> Here you can choose the display mode for threads. For a full explanation of the modes, please view this help page.
> Thread Display Mode:


wow impressed thankyou:clap2:


----------



## foow

Not authorised yet!!! but this is the 5th post sooooo (waiting!!!!!!) lol


----------



## 84RBIE

foow said:


> Hi 84Rbie How are you faring? Hope you are well:ballchain:


Hey, things are fab. Have a job now and hoping to start making some more friends. Just celebrated one year here in Dubs and loving it!


----------



## BedouGirl

cjbutti said:


> I hope it's easy as we think but i think although an emirati man who's working as a government official quit his job, He can't still marry an expat cause the government will keep him out of the country. I don't know if the rumors are true.


What absolute nonsense! I know of many ladies of different nationalities who are married to Emiratis and who live here.


----------



## 84RBIE

BedouGirl said:


> What absolute nonsense! I know of many ladies of different nationalities who are married to Emiratis and who live here.


 me being one of them!!


----------



## BedouGirl

cjbutti said:


> #Ohh Really have you been married to one of the Emirati government official, like army, police, defense or what so ever they call it. I don't think so, you are talking absolutely nonsense then


No, but I know ladies who are and they and their families are very much still here.


----------



## BedouGirl

I wonder if you are thinking about the grant given by the government to Emiratis when they marry. If they are marrying someone who is not Emirati, they are not entitled to it.


----------



## londonmandan




----------



## 84RBIE

cjbutti said:


> That is not what i meant, Most locals can marry expats at any time but there's an exception, Specially with those who are working in the Government.


Actually the exception is those in military or police etc. Other government employees can marry who they wish.


----------



## QOFE

So,what was the purpose of bringing up this old thread?


----------



## dizzyizzy

cjbutti said:


> QOFE said:
> 
> 
> 
> So,what was the purpose of bringing up this old thread?[/QUOTE
> 
> good morning first of all
> 
> Ummm well having the same situation While i've been searching for an answer i've found this forum, i was hoping that i can get an answer. :'(
> 
> 
> 
> Well if you're marrying him already you don't need to be asking how to 'make' him love you more. Just saying
Click to expand...


----------



## 84RBIE

cjbutti said:


> dizzyizzy said:
> 
> 
> 
> Women for sure wants their man to love them even more, but in arabs i believe that love doesn't exists on them just lust
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This is the most ridiculous thing I've heard. Perhaps he's not the right one for you then if you don't feel truly loved... Or maybe he's using you! My husband is quite capable of showing love even more than me at times!
Click to expand...


----------



## Midouri

Gillyl said:


> hi there! Welcome to Dubai! I am from Ireland and been living here in Dubai for almost 4 years. I married an Emirati last October and are now expecting our first child. I have to say it is very difficult meeting friends here. You meet friends then they leave. Or there is the other situation where you go out have a great night, meets lots of people and exchange numbers, but you never hear from them again, even if you try to call them. I would love to hear from you and you can email me and perhaps meet up sometime!
> 
> Gilly


Hi Gilly,
I'm Lisa. I too am Irish and am moving to Dubai.
I'm wondering how is life with an Emarati man? 
I've met an Emarati man.

Regards,
Lisa


----------



## AlwaysExpat

Hi , 
Congrats`

Not that Im in same situation still as I have no kids and single, I get you .
I find it very easy to meet with people having said that I have also taken a proactive approach which I would love to recommend. 
I signed up with Meet up UAE. All sorts of groups, I'm sure you will find just want you are looking for. I have signed up with 5 groups lot of activities - sweet and lot of good people out there. 

Good luck.
BR
Britta


----------



## Use lifer

Already commented on the post. It is possible usually. Was just speaking to a pilot a bit ago who is pretty recently married to a british lady....







She is a second wife though but know of number others who have foreign wives as first and only.[/QUOTE]

Well, I guess that there has to be always a first post. I imagine you posted a first time at some point too. 

Anyways, I don't want to start a discusion on "I know this person" or "I know that other person." I just wanted to share my experience and opinion on the topic, that's it. This is why I said that generalizations are not fair... I can also generalize about americans... And maybe you may be right about generalizations.[/QUOTE]

Hi mst80. I am in the same situation as you were a few years ago. Are you still in uae? I'd love you talk to you.


----------



## Surayya

Hi,

I've met a very nice Emirati man. He initially told me he works for adnoc but recently on a date he told me he lied about his profession and that he actually works for the military. He said he can't say what he exactly does and asked me to stop talking about his work on the phone.

As you can appreciate this freaked me out. I didn't know working for the military is such a secretive profession unless it's a specific role of course. He silently acknowledged that his phone could be tapped which I found very difficult to digest to have left me in the dark about this. 

I don't know if I can trust what he says as I don't see any harm if he would have told me he works in the military without discussing specifics to his role. As many of you seem to have befriended/engaged/married to Emirati military men Im keen to hear from you why he would lie about working in the military and is it true that their phones are tapped?


----------



## The Rascal

Surayya said:


> Hi,
> 
> I've met a very nice Emirati man. He initially told me he works for adnoc but recently on a date he told me he lied about his profession and that he actually works for the military. He said he can't say what he exactly does and asked me to stop talking about his work on the phone.
> 
> As you can appreciate this freaked me out. I didn't know working for the military is such a secretive profession unless it's a specific role of course. He silently acknowledged that his phone could be tapped which I found very difficult to digest to have left me in the dark about this.
> 
> I don't know if I can trust what he says as I don't see any harm if he would have told me he works in the military without discussing specifics to his role. As many of you seem to have befriended/engaged/married to Emirati military men Im keen to hear from you why he would lie about working in the military and is it true that their phones are tapped?


How loudly are your alarms tringing? Cos they should be very, very loud in your ears.

His phone won't be tapped (it's a misconception that this is easy), believe me it's not, even from a telco provider level, in fact the encryption on an iPhone 6 hasn't been cracked yet, yes there are ways around it but with digital technology it's far from easy.

Ask him for a copy of his Emirates ID or his Military Pass - if he doesn't want to sow you either then it speaks absolute volumes.

Good luck, you sound like you might need it.


----------



## Surayya

My alarm bells are loud and clear that I decided to stop any form of contact with him. When he told me about this all I wanted is to go home and didn't think about asking for a form of ID which would have been a good question to ask.

As for tapping phones, I know it's not easy but it can be done. High European diplomats like Merckel have been tapped by U.S. just to give an example.

I just can't figure out why one would lie about such things but then again I probably wouldn't want to understand such low life.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!


----------



## Stevesolar

Surayya said:


> I just can't figure out why one would lie about such things but then again I probably wouldn't want to understand such low life.
> 
> Thanks for sharing your thoughts!


Hi,
In my opinion - it is quite obvious why someone would lie in this manner.
Normally it would be to cover up their absences - they would tell you that they are on a top secret military exercise - when the only exercise they would be engaging in would be with another one of their harem!!
Best of luck
Steve


----------



## BedouGirl

Surayya said:


> My alarm bells are loud and clear that I decided to stop any form of contact with him. When he told me about this all I wanted is to go home and didn't think about asking for a form of ID which would have been a good question to ask. As for tapping phones, I know it's not easy but it can be done. High European diplomats like Merckel have been tapped by U.S. just to give an example. I just can't figure out why one would lie about such things but then again I probably wouldn't want to understand such low life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!


It's possible he is in the military and does have a 'top secret' job. If he is, it's unlikely he will show you any ID. He will have more than one mobile for sure - not that this is a sign but these guys all carry the equivalent to a 'bat 'phone'. Aside from all the 'is he or isn't he', I'm betting he's married and probably has kids.


----------



## The Rascal

Good call. Not everything is as it initially appears here....


----------



## twowheelsgood

I work occasionally with the UAE Military and they are the words worst at keeping anything secret. Their 'secrets' are normally transmitted on gmail accounts, they are careful about who comes onto their bases but once you are in, you can practically wander around the area unescorted.

100-1 says he is already married.

Ask to meet his parents ........ and see how shifty he gets.


----------



## Sam1978

Ive been looking for a group to enlighten me in my situation. I got engaged oct.1 last year after a year in a relationship. My fiance, an emirati went with me to Philippines to meet my family and relatives to talk about the wedding plan. Everything was well, but i have not meet any from his family. 
I knew their villa location and his work and business but not meeting anyone in the family. The only reason he was telling me was the family dont like the idea that im from Philippines, that family stereotyped all filipinos as such and dont care if i came from a descent family. 
And i dont know whom to talk with?


----------



## Stevesolar

Sam1978 said:


> Ive been looking for a group to enlighten me in my situation. I got engaged oct.1 last year after a year in a relationship. My fiance, an emirati went with me to Philippines to meet my family and relatives to talk about the wedding plan. Everything was well, but i have not meet any from his family.
> I knew their villa location and his work and business but not meeting anyone in the family. The only reason he was telling me was the family dont like the idea that im from Philippines, that family stereotyped all filipinos as such and dont care if i came from a descent family.
> And i dont know whom to talk with?


Run for the hills - as fast as you can!
Alarm bells should be ringing loudly in your ears.
Best of luck
Steve


----------



## Sam1978

Hi steve! Thanks for the feedback. Thus it mean his not really serious after all this time?


----------



## Stevesolar

Sam1978 said:


> Hi steve! Thanks for the feedback. Thus it mean his not really serious after all this time?


Hi,
No - he could be very serious - but he is potentially acting in a less than honest manner.
This does not bode well for the future - if he is not being transparent before you are even married.
Cheers
Steve


----------



## Sam1978

That was too right, the reason was never acceptable to me. Which pushed me to look for means to help me realize. Im just too weak to admit that his not telling the real story.
thank you so much, it was never really a confusion its more of a denial.


----------



## BedouGirl

Sam1978 said:


> That was too right, the reason was never acceptable to me. Which pushed me to look for means to help me realize. Im just too weak to admit that his not telling the real story. thank you so much, it was never really a confusion its more of a denial.


 You've been with him for eighteen months or so and I doubt his family actually know you exist and I doubt they ever will. That's not to say he doesn't care for you, it's just that he doesn't have the courage to tell his family. He may well marry you, but it will be in secret (in that his family won't be there and it will probably be in your country) and the likelihood is that he will also marry an Emirati girl for his family and you will never be wife number one. The other probability is that he will never tell you any of this because he doesn't have the courage to tell you the truth. If he ever gets anywhere near it, it will be to ask you to bear with him till his parents pass away,but then there will be someone or something else that prevents him from telling the truth. Even if you think you could live like this, consider how it would be if you had children - could you live like that then? If you were my friend, my advice to you would be to get yourself out of the relationship and cut the contact and stay away from him. He will never be able to commit to you in the way you want him to.


----------



## Sam1978

Your statement just came right on time, that can be the nearest reason why,
I am just actually counting some time for him to show a few family, but if he fails then i gotta be smart to move.
thanks really guys all youve said helped a lot.


----------



## BedouGirl

Sam1978 said:


> Your statement just came right on time, that can be the nearest reason why, I am just actually counting some time for him to show a few family, but if he fails then i gotta be smart to move. thanks really guys all youve said helped a lot.


I truly hope for you he does, but don't waste too much of your life giving him time. You'll be amazed at how quickly time passes and at how many other good opportunities you'll miss in your life. Sad to say, this just is not going to happen.


----------



## nite

Sam1978 said:


> Your statement just came right on time, that can be the nearest reason why,
> I am just actually counting some time for him to show a few family, but if he fails then i gotta be smart to move.
> thanks really guys all youve said helped a lot.


Sam, it's OK to be a side piece. Don't worry too much about it and just enjoy yourself and have a good time.


----------



## nonoa

*From 'Newly married' to 'Run for your life'...*

Man, I'm an Emirati girl and this thread even brought ME down. Depressing but true in the sense that while in general many men (and even women) can be shifty, here you just have a different set of social norms that make them do these crazy things.

Someone mentioned cowardly...and that's usually what it is. The fear of being able to choose a partner and not be judged for who he/she is, where he/she is from, what his/her religion is, what the kids will turn out like, will they learn fluent local arabic, will they struggle in the future, will she be conservative, will he be responsible, will he/she take advantage of him/her, will they be able to go out and handle being gawked at, handle being shunned by part of the family....the list goes on

In Islam, marrying a person "of the book" is totally acceptable and their dowry was no more than a coin. They were in it for the sanctity of marriage.

Sigh....

I do hope the ladies got to meet new friends here after all of this!


----------



## wkuser

nonoa said:


> Man, I'm an Emirati girl and this thread even brought ME down. Depressing but true in the sense that while in general many men (and even women) can be shifty, here you just have a different set of social norms that make them do these crazy things.
> 
> Someone mentioned cowardly...and that's usually what it is. The fear of being able to choose a partner and not be judged for who he/she is, where he/she is from, what his/her religion is, what the kids will turn out like, will they learn fluent local arabic, will they struggle in the future, will she be conservative, will he be responsible, will he/she take advantage of him/her, will they be able to go out and handle being gawked at, handle being shunned by part of the family....the list goes on
> 
> In Islam, marrying a person "of the book" is totally acceptable and their dowry was no more than a coin. They were in it for the sanctity of marriage.
> 
> Sigh....
> 
> I do hope the ladies got to meet new friends here after all of this!



I totally agree with you. Even though that's what Islam says, and we as muslims should follow that, people have imposed their superficial cultural values on them and have gone astray. I have been born here in UAE and think if two people think that they can get along well together then who is the society to judge? Being from a different country or different race doesn't make you less of a human.


----------



## Sam1978

Im too happy to have your point of views as muslim, or you both are emirati maybe. We need people like you here to hear your side.
and Nite, thank you for your optimism, you made me smile.


----------

