# commuting uk/spain husbands



## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

I've noticed recently that we've had a few people wanting to know more about families who do this. Most of you will know thats what my family does, Lynn on here also has a commuting husband - in other words, we send em over to England to earn money so that we can spend it.

This idea works well if you plan it fairly carefully and is a good "halfway house" before throwing yourself totally at a new country. 

Its sensible to keep your UK house and rent it out, thereby covering the mortgage there or helping with the costs here.

Rent in Spain so that you have flexibility should there be a crisis or it isnt how you thought.

Live near an airport both ends. Otherwise it can become quite stressy if either end involves a long car journey. Also make sure that the airports both ends are good ones that do several airlines, several flights and at a good price (we very often get "free" flights). Gatwick to Málaga use Aer LIngus, Monarch and easyjet mainly and a browse on the internet every so often will reveal some real cheapies!!!

Depending on your finances and ages of kids, I personally think that is maybe wise although not essential to put the kids into an international school, mainly cos if you change your mind its not a massive upheaval to their education.

All in all it has worked for us, it can be stressful when things go wrong (volcano!), you dont have the network of family around you (well Lynn does and I'm jealous lol), but I have found that we probably see more of my husband cos in the UK he worked 6 days a week til late and was only just home in time to see the kids go to bed. At least when he's here we have him here for several days/weeks and enjoy a lot of family time.

Anyway, if anyone is reading this and wants to add anything or ask any questions (not complicated ones !!) feel free. Theres a few of us on here who do this fairly successfully and I know there are a few who are very interested in giving it a go

Jo xxx


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## lynn (Sep 25, 2008)

That just about sums it up Jo, and I think its worth pointing out the positives and negatives of this arrangement. As you say, there are a few posters out there who are looking at doing this. 
I would add that you need to be made of quite stern stuff and resourceful. Things collapse/ blow up/ break etc etc on an alarmingly regular basis here - much more than the UK (we have been struck by lightening twice this winter, and flooded more times than I care to mention in my son's bedroom, the clutch went on the car....) and you have to be able and willing to sort things out, with in my case very basic Spanish. If you have a delicate constitution you wouldn't enjoy living under the constant threat of disaster looming!!
I would also say that if your OH needs to be in the UK Monday to Friday 9-5 it will not work. The flights either don't exist at the times you want to fly, or are prohibitively expensive. Plus the brief 2 days at the weekend are not enough to warrant the travelling on a permanent basis. Flexibility in working days are key to making this successful. 
We have not been doing this as long as Jo has (we've been here 8 months now) but I have to say, we have had a steep learning curve in what does and doesn't work. The winter was extreme weather wise both ends, which made the whole thing much harder, but thankfully the memories fade quickly once the sunshine and warmth return!
I wish anyone considering doing the same the very best of luck

Lynn
x


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## m3mpower (May 1, 2010)

jojo said:


> I've noticed recently that we've had a few people wanting to know more about families who do this. Most of you will know thats what my family does, Lynn on here also has a commuting husband - in other words, we send em over to England to earn money so that we can spend it.
> 
> This idea works well if you plan it fairly carefully and is a good "halfway house" before throwing yourself totally at a new country.
> 
> ...


Hi, thanks for this useful post, we are thinking to move to spain soon, well myself more then the wife cause she's a bit worried about the two little boys we have ( 3 yrs and 1 yrs old ) but you are 100% right in all what you said and i would definitely use this advice...
regards


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## 90199 (Mar 21, 2010)

Just one very important point, please learn the language, it will make life so much easier and open so many doors,

Hepa


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Hepa said:


> Just one very important point, please learn the language, it will make life so much easier and open so many doors,
> 
> Hepa


While I totally agree with you and think its rude and pointless not to learn the language, its not pivotal if you're OH is working in the UK, you've no intention of ever working or intergrating, if the kids are at an international school and you have enough spare money to employ a translator for emergencies. However, when I was in the UK and working for a GP surgery, there was nothing more annoying that people who were living there and not even trying to speak English - it really got my back up, especially when they'd get their kids to speak on their behalf - obviously they'd been there long enough! Funny that I'm here now on the other side of it, but I am learning and I always try! And if nothing else, lessons and classes help you to meet new people

Jo xxx


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## lynn (Sep 25, 2008)

jojo said:


> While I totally agree with you and think its rude and pointless not to learn the language, its not pivotal if you're OH is working in the UK, you've no intention of ever working or intergrating, if the kids are at an international school and you have enough spare money to employ a translator for emergencies. However, when I was in the UK and working for a GP surgery, there was nothing more annoying that people who were living there and not even trying to speak English - it really got my back up, especially when they'd get their kids to speak on their behalf - obviously they'd been there long enough! Funny that I'm here now on the other side of it, but I am learning and I always try! And if nothing else, lessons and classes help you to meet new people
> 
> Jo xxx


Down here in the Costa del Sol, it's not absolutely essential to speak Spanish, but as Jo has said, it is only right to learn the language of the country you are living in, and it does give you the opportunity of meeting people. 
Jo has prompted me to mention the dilema of creating a social life for yourself without excluding the OH. Its a delicate balance establishing your life in Spain, but having family time together when your OH arrives off the plane. If they are working in the UK, they have less opportunity to make friends and get involved in the community. Its another reason I think this arrangement only works with a flexible working arrangement which allows time for the whole family to feel that they live in Spain.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

lynn said:


> ........without excluding the OH. Its a delicate balance establishing your life in Spain, but having family time together when your OH arrives off the plane. If they are working in the UK, they have less opportunity to make friends and get involved in the community. Its another reason I think this arrangement only works with a flexible working arrangement which allows time for the whole family to feel that they live in Spain.


Good point. I have friends in Spain, but I often feel like a single parent and when my OH is here, he finds it hard to be sociable cos he doesnt know anyone and of course he's usually tired and wants to be with the family. . I guess the easiest friends to have here are those who have commuting husbands!!! My husband is the first to admit that he finds it a bit difficult here. He doesnt know his way around and doesnt understand life here. He doesnt quite feel at home whereas we do!

Jo xxx


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