# I booked my flights



## Horus (Sep 17, 2010)

Well I did it.

I booked my flights, I am keeping the date private as it's a public forum I don't want my wife to surf in.

Far from coming here and being cocky it was the hardest decision I have made in my life.

My boss has allowed me to work via VPN in Egypt and could tell I was in no real state to be in work and I am still shaking now, the mental abuse I have had at home is coming to an end. I also have my own business but the fact I can still get my wages is extra security.

I wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing, I am not a religious person however when there has been a great event in my family such as a death or major decision I have gone to the local cathedral to just sit and think. It was quite appropriate there was a Christmas choir and I was quite overwhelmed and I thought about the good times in my marriage and the bad times and I looked for an answer and that answer was to move on but to bear no bitterness.

I thought I would treat myself to a Japanese meal, never had one before and had a beer and it was one of the best meals I had and I took my time thinking about my life and what I wanted, paid and left.

I then simply went and booked my tickets 2 month return and I need to book the excess baggage tomorrow.

I did some last minute Christmas shopping and got my wife some flowers and met her after work and asked her about dinner, she said I was a scruff but could not explain further so I said we could go another time and I would wear a suit but "it would not be appropriate" for a "country place" like Nandos so I suggested somewhere else and she said it was cold  I told her about the cats using the bath and sink as a litter tray and she said if I did not like it to move out.

I stood there and cried and it was tears of relief and tears of letting go and just of anguish but knowing I have done the right thing. I told her she made things awkward and difficult and every effort I make she wants to ruin including Christmas.

So here I am peeps feeling good, scared, exhausted and confused and to be quite blunt I don't have to cut myself any longer and I take that with me to show myself I rather live in a cockroach and ant infested apartment on my own single and have my sanity and life back. C'est la vie 

So that gives you a little insight into the truth and reality of why I want to just get away and who I really am, I wanted to share it with you as this is a going to be a new start for me.


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## NZCowboy (May 11, 2009)

It is never easy, but it seems like it is time to move on. 
You seem to have thought hard and searched long for a solution. You have done your homework, and you are making your decision with your eyes wide open.
All the best, here's to 2011.


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## bat (Dec 1, 2010)

NZCowboy said:


> It is never easy, but it seems like it is time to move on.
> You seem to have thought hard and searched long for a solution. You have done your homework, and you are making your decision with your eyes wide open.
> All the best, here's to 2011.


one of those moments when no words suffice
but silence says it all
bravo bravo


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## SHendra (Oct 18, 2010)

Making decisions like this are never easy. And alot of people can sit thinking forever to do something about their lives when they ain't happy but never do anything. It take courage to make big changes. Good luck in it all Horus, and I don't mean with 'Egypt and it's adventures' I mean with it all in general!


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## Horus (Sep 17, 2010)

Well thanks everyone and hugs.

I have made some friends here within the forum and those who I contact via PM or facebook etc you know who you are as you have all helped me to facilitate this and I want to thank you, you probably now know that in private I am different than I am here, still a bit wacky though 

There have been threads here and advice which again have proven helpful and given me an insight and I can't thank the people who created them enough too many people too mention.

No it has not been easy but I have made a good choice. I was told today on Christmas Eve that I was a "stupid b*stard" as I was taking too long to get ready as "she" wanted to leave precise at 11.20 - I only wanted her to drop me off to get some last minute Christmas presents for her to make the Christmas special. Apparently I am an "idiot" and I also have a fat "f-ing ugly face". As usual I asked her to give specific examples and point out the features she finds so ugly and I could not get specifics just "everything"

We did manage to get out at 11.30 as I was being timed and said I would meet up as I wanted to do some private shopping but I was quizzed where etc....and then told just "f...off and do what I want. All that control will end now.

I did some shopping for myself some nice cotton bedsheets for Egypt and a duvet cover so my bedroom looks inviting and I can get that woman out of my system and I made sure to get it from the joint account from sheer spite so she can pay half towards it. I also got a remote control monkey that farts, burps, sings and talks and I will make sure that it starts its noises when she has a drink as I know she hates such things and will say how immature it is..everything she does now annoys me and now it's my chance.

So that's that.

And please accept my sincere apologies if the language used causes offence - I have used it so you can see the gravity of the situation I have been in - and kept quiet about for so long.

I will still make her Christmas nice however as it is our last one and there have been good times in the relationship, she is a good person just not good for me


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## Sonrisa (Sep 2, 2010)

Being in a relitionship where there is not respect or regards for each others feelings must be hell, and I totally understand that , above all, you need to separate from your wife for your own sake and wellbeing. 

When the respect has been lost, there is no way that a relationship can get back on track, it isn't worth your time or energy. By all means, get out! 

But I hope that you don't see a move to another country as the solution to all your problems or a way to escape your own demons. 

Good luck in Egypt. It wont be easy.


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## mamasue (Oct 7, 2008)

Horus I also went to live in Egypt at the end of a horrible 29-year marriage....
It was totally liberating, and, for the first time in my life I had nobody to answer to except myself.
I was never happier with my life than when I first lived in Egypt.
I worked as a scuba diving instructor, totally enjoying my new-found freedom, and was very happy to remain alone for the rest of my life.... although I got bored with working for Egyptians, and moved to the Emirates for a time.
A few years later I then met and fell in love with my husband, moved to the US, we've since travelled half the world, and I've never been happier.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is..... you're opening a whole new chapter of your life.....
Enjoy your freedom.....
Keep your wits about you....
And most of all.... have a wonderful rest-of-your life!!!!


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## Horus (Sep 17, 2010)

Well thanks ladies won't be long 3 WEEKS and I will be reporting back from hell. I have an angel who has been helping me who I can't thank enough and who has been inspirational to me who I think about often it's a mystery who this person is you know who you are 

I tried to make my wife's birthday and Christmas very special and now I found out she has not been wearing her wedding ring and it does hurt me but not to the extent I expected so is a sign of letting go I have *NEVER* taken mine off I will take mine with me and put it somewhere, I might wear it for a time and transfer it to my other hand when I am good and ready then take it off when I feel I can

I hope to be great friends with this person and I can assure you the real "Horus" off board is totally different than the one here

At the moment however I am a VERY happy man

I have never loved someone so deeply as my wife with all my heart and all my soul and despite everything she will hold a tiny place in my heart even though she will never realise how much she has hurt me it's time to say good bye.

I still need to compile a letter from my heart to her and have a final meal where I will tell her I want to separate I want to pick a special place and make it as easy as possible and not point fingers

I will still support her or she will be left in the lurch


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## hurghadapat (Mar 26, 2010)

Horus said:


> Well thanks ladies won't be long 3 WEEKS and I will be reporting back from hell. I have an angel who has been helping me who I can't thank enough and who has been inspirational to me who I think about often it's a mystery who this person is you know who you are
> 
> I tried to make my wife's birthday and Christmas very special and now I found out she has not been wearing her wedding ring and it does hurt me but not to the extent I expected so is a sign of letting go I have *NEVER* taken mine off I will take mine with me and put it somewhere, I might wear it for a time and transfer it to my other hand when I am good and ready then take it off when I feel I can
> 
> ...


Hope 2011 brings you lots of happiness and peace of mind......your new venture will go a long way in helping you forget the past.....but it's all water under the bridge so what's gone can't be brought back so just look to your new future...Good Luck and keep us entertained by letting us know how your life in Egypt goes because i know for sure you will have many things to write about.


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## Horus (Sep 17, 2010)

hurghadapat said:


> Hope 2011 brings you lots of happiness and peace of mind......your new venture will go a long way in helping you forget the past.....but it's all water under the bridge so what's gone can't be brought back so just look to your new future...Good Luck and keep us entertained by letting us know how your life in Egypt goes because i know for sure you will have many things to write about.


Hmm yes however some things are better not said I have lovely satin sheets to keep me cool on the night


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## SHendra (Oct 18, 2010)

Horus said:


> Hmm yes however some things are better not said I have lovely satin sheets to keep me cool on the night


Heh bet they won't keep you cool here.. more like help you create a fashionable skirt every time you get up by sticking to you! (In summer anyway!)


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## eynas (Jul 11, 2009)

Hey Horus,

I'm sorry if I'm giving unwanted advice, but I saw your message that you haven't told your wife that you want to separate and I suggest you tell your wife pretty soon. It will be very hurtful for you to tell her after you've booked the ticket and made all your plans. So if possible, try to not mention that you've already got your plans so complete. It would be less hurtful. If I've misunderstood the situation or you just dont like the advice, then ignore it and good luck. Cheers.


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## Horus (Sep 17, 2010)

eynas said:


> Hey Horus,
> 
> I'm sorry if I'm giving unwanted advice, but I saw your message that you haven't told your wife that you want to separate and I suggest you tell your wife pretty soon. It will be very hurtful for you to tell her after you've booked the ticket and made all your plans. So if possible, try to not mention that you've already got your plans so complete. It would be less hurtful. If I've misunderstood the situation or you just dont like the advice, then ignore it and good luck. Cheers.


Well heck everyone knows except her, always the way.

I will tell her 2 days before on a Friday when she is stable in a public place and has the weekend to think rather than have to go to work.

I have chosen a Japanese restaurant as the plates are light plastic and they don't have knives or forks only chop sticks and I will not order boiling soup.

Just to keep her sweet I will give her an eternity ring to remember the happy times and thank her for the years we have been together.

I am ensuring that I have a hotel booked for myself afterwards as I feel she might do something to do me while I sleep


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