# Any friends in the Denia area



## Missty (Jul 12, 2007)

Recently moved to the Denia area and I am fortunate enough not to have to work. I would like to meet like minded people with time on their hands for exercise and hobbies etc. I like Snorkelling and would love to join the gym, would like to do a beach clean up, go jogging or Yoga on the beach.

I know I should just get out there and do it alone and in the past I have always been quite a confident person. But as my Spanish is not so great I find myself shrinking away from anyone who might start a conversation with me. 

I know the forum seems mostly about legal stuff, moving to Spain and house rentals etc but I would like some advice on if there are any local (Denia) places to meet people in similar situation. Sorry, I don't mean to sound ageist but I am also finding lots of things for older people but not for my age group, early 40's.


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## MichelleAlison (Aug 25, 2007)

Missty said:


> Recently moved to the Denia area and I am fortunate enough not to have to work. I would like to meet like minded people with time on their hands for exercise and hobbies etc. I like Snorkelling and would love to join the gym, would like to do a beach clean up, go jogging or Yoga on the beach.
> 
> I know I should just get out there and do it alone and in the past I have always been quite a confident person. But as my Spanish is not so great I find myself shrinking away from anyone who might start a conversation with me.
> 
> I know the forum seems mostly about legal stuff, moving to Spain and house rentals etc but I would like some advice on if there are any local (Denia) places to meet people in similar situation. Sorry, I don't mean to sound ageist but I am also finding lots of things for older people but not for my age group, early 40's.


Although I am not in Spain, so I can't help you regarding finding friends, but there is no reason why you cannot post on this forum. Why should everything have to be serious. Moving country should be fun as well as serious.

I would start by joining a gym - you really don't need someone to hold your hand for this. I joined my local gym and I can you that I have learned loads of Spanish just by watching and listening. Demonstration by a gym instructor is all you need for this. Believe me and you will also be surprised at how many locals do speak English.............

Regards

Michelle


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Missty said:


> Recently moved to the Denia area and I am fortunate enough not to have to work. I would like to meet like minded people with time on their hands for exercise and hobbies etc. I like Snorkelling and would love to join the gym, would like to do a beach clean up, go jogging or Yoga on the beach.
> 
> I know I should just get out there and do it alone and in the past I have always been quite a confident person. But as my Spanish is not so great I find myself shrinking away from anyone who might start a conversation with me.
> 
> I know the forum seems mostly about legal stuff, moving to Spain and house rentals etc but I would like some advice on if there are any local (Denia) places to meet people in similar situation. Sorry, I don't mean to sound ageist but I am also finding lots of things for older people but not for my age group, early 40's.



I know exactly how you feel!!! I've been here 6 months and my confidence isnt as it used to be cos of the language and the new area. Sadly, I dont think I live anywhere near you, so we cant meet up. All I can suggest is you try to make just one friend and then "network". So far, I know four people I can call friends here, just through knowing one - my letting agent! And I'm getting my confidence back

Also if you look through your local english newspaper, they often have ads for clubs and stuff going on that you could try????? I found the local supermarket/weekly market usually has a few brits wandering around - maybe strike up a conversation and see what happens. Once you find one friend, you'll get the confidence to make others

Jo


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## chris(madrid) (Mar 23, 2008)

Right then. IMO -You need to do one or two things. This based on experience. You'll go barmy if you're in your '40's and plan to remain here if you cant speak Spanish. Least ways I would. 

1) Start watching Spanish TV - Watch afternoon films - old ones that you know, and have a dictionary handy. Watching SKY all day is a hindrance.
2) Buy and read magazines (in Spanish) that match any hobbies you have.
3) If you have a hobby that is a "club" sort of thing - look for one. Tennis/Football etc is a cert. With luck you'll find expats and Spaniards.
3) The Gym idea is a TOP ONE - did that too.

I arrived in Spain in mid-1992 speaking nothing - By 1993 I could converse - not 100% but well enough to do sales pitches in Spanish (to banks and Telefonica).

When you need "English" - go and pester an English builder or two - they'll know where to trawl for contacts. Drive inland from Denia and you'll see loads of places. Denia itself iirc was pretty well Germanified - I seem to recall being struck by the fact that the first noteworthy building was a German Chapel of Rest. 

One point though. I'd be cautious about announcing to folk your lack of need to work. There are SHARKS out there - and as many were in property - they're hungry. I say this because many expats get taken in by hungry expats as they drop their guard a bit more willingly.

I was in the same boat, but the best thing I did was find a simple unstressed job to fill the hours. If necessary start something - I dunno import sausages or summat.

OH - and when you go out to eat - look for places that do not advertise in English and have midday workers menus. You'll soon pick up Spanish then.


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## Missty (Jul 12, 2007)

*Finding my feet*

Hey you guys are great, thanks for taking the time to write back to me. Just hearing your suggestions has given me a boost.

I am taking Spanish lessons twice a week, but I still feel like I'm not at a level to strike up a conversation. I can ask for what I want but I can't always understand the reply and stuff like sorting out a bill just takes the wind out of your sails.

I joined the gym and whilst doing a spinning class the teacher came round to talk to everyone, and I was shrinking in my sandal thinking please don't talk to me. I also did belly dancing at the same gym and unless I have my eye on the teacher which is not always possible I'm not doing what everyone else is. I only have Spanish TV and have purposely avoided having English TV for now anyway. 

I have a Spanish friend that speaks English, but she works 6 days a week and does Spanish hours so finishes work at 8.30. 

But its like you guys said, I have to keep plugging away. Try not to worry about not fitting in, not belonging, not having a friend beside me to laugh at my bad pronunciation and just keep a smile on my face even if I don't know what they're saying. There is just so much to enjoy here I'm bursting to go out and experience it all, but I don't always want to do it alone

I forgot to say I'm not rich, I just really believe that if I wait till I've made a million to retire, I'll be too old to enjoy it, and I try to avoid consumerism. 

But I would like to hear more about how you found it when you first came, how you got over the language barrier, how you found you confidence.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Missty said:


> I forgot to say I'm not rich, I just really believe that if I wait till I've made a million to retire, I'll be too old to enjoy it, and I try to avoid consumerism.
> 
> But I would like to hear more about how you found it when you first came, how you got over the language barrier, how you found you confidence.


Like I said in my earlier post, I'm in more or less the same position as you. I've been here 6 months, I'm in my 40s and I'm struggling like you to find that "I belong" feeling! However, i do have two children 11 and 13, my husband commutes and is here of a few days a month, so I'm not completely isolated. The kids have helped cos I've made a few aquaintances at their school, although this new found shyness has hindered me a bit or maybe its that I've only met one person that I've "clicked" with??? 

So far, my friends here have come from my agent Hayley. I count her as a friend because she has helped me so much with bits and peices, she has another client who I met through her and she is now a friend, my son has a school friend and his mum is lovely and we've been out to places a few times. Another friend I actually met through this forum!! Shes a school teacher at my kids school and actually moved out here ready for the next term last week. I like her and we seem to get on well

As you can see though, all my friends are English, I guess thats because of the language thing and again, my shyness. But, from the friends I have so far, 3 of them speak Spanish and have spanish friends, so I'm hoping that I will gradually become part of that world and can put my personality and interests into the equasion. But one friend gives you the opportunity and confindence to find more.... I hope! 

I'm having spanish lessons, watch Spanish TV and try wherever possible to speak spanish - I never understand the replies either, in fact a Spanish chap walked passed me the other day and said "arse" to me, i thought he was being rude until my friend told me that it was a local abbreviation of "buenas dias" round here!!! They either say buen or ars! Andalucians are known for "eating their words" and shortening everything!

Jo


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## chris(madrid) (Mar 23, 2008)

Missty said:


> I forgot to say I'm not rich, I just really believe that if I wait till I've made a million to retire, I'll be too old to enjoy it, and I try to avoid consumerism.
> 
> But I would like to hear more about how you found it when you first came, how you got over the language barrier, how you found you confidence.


We're here to help. 

In my case I had a tiny advantage - my (then new) Wife is Spanish - but never had a confidence issue. I was in my 30's, had also just finished a stint in Germany alone - I guess I overcame the fear of making mistakes thing.

I knew I had to learn, I had 6 months on full salary forbidden working with another company during this stint, and so I simply hit the streets every day. Well done on the TV thing btw.

Fully understand the finance thing - I'm in a similar boat. But you'll get bored eventually (I think). Working (even if only part time) will get you integrated VERY FAST. I was very reluctant to go back to work - and I do occasionally miss the free time. But in retrospect it's been a good move. When I was spending time with other "non-workers" I found myself getting lazy in all sorts of ways. Everything became too much effort.

I don't really mix socially with my colleagues (they're mostly much younger for a start, save the politicians who're my age) - but there's always a bit of jolly banter. But all but one of my friends here now are Spanish. Another contact is a "Guiri" (50%Brit:50%German) but he's been here so long - He's Spanish even though he runs an English School.


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