# Engagement Vs Marriage



## enjoi (Dec 20, 2013)

Hey guys, I know this has been covered but I'm at work and don't have time to search. Would just like some quick insight on this.

My GF and I have been planning on getting married for like 5 months now. I'm going to see her in Manila next week. Up until about a week ago we were dead set on marriage but now we're considering engagement instead because a lot of people have been telling us it will be easier on us when the time comes to get move her to the states if we're engaged as opposed to marriage.

So, guys, give me some good reasons to explain to her why it's better if we hold off on marriage. We'd both prefer marriage right now because we know we're perfect together and would like to be able to say we're married but if it's going to make getting her to the states a lot easier then we can wait. 

Thanks as always for advice fellas.....


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## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

If you are planning on going back to the States with her, then stay engaged. The process for a Fiance' visa is quicker (less than a year) and a higher success rate. A Spousal Visa takes longer than a year and is tougher to get. If you are engaged and show lots of photos together (with Date/Time stamps on them) and emails, bills, etc. showing the longetivity of the relationship it will pay off in the end. 

If you are planning on living in the Philippines and not returning to the States, then I would marry her in the Philippines. That way her culture won't frown upon the "live in" status.


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## enjoi (Dec 20, 2013)

jon1 said:


> If you are planning on going back to the States with her, then stay engaged. The process for a Fiance' visa is quicker (less than a year) and a higher success rate. A Spousal Visa takes longer than a year and is tougher to get. If you are engaged and show lots of photos together (with Date/Time stamps on them) and emails, bills, etc. showing the longetivity of the relationship it will pay off in the end.
> 
> If you are planning on living in the Philippines and not returning to the States, then I would marry her in the Philippines. That way her culture won't frown upon the "live in" status.


Thanks Jon, I'll show her what you said. We were originally trying to plan for living over there but I'm way too young to be retired and was hoping I could secure a good IT job over there with the company I work for now but it's looking like that won't happen so she's gonna move here instead.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

enjoi said:


> Hey guys, I know this has been covered but I'm at work and don't have time to search. Would just like some quick insight on this.
> 
> My GF and I have been planning on getting married for like 5 months now. I'm going to see her in Manila next week. Up until about a week ago we were dead set on marriage but now we're considering engagement instead because a lot of people have been telling us it will be easier on us when the time comes to get move her to the states if we're engaged as opposed to marriage.
> 
> ...


Yes, that is absolutely correct. A married immigrant visa will take well over a year and depending on how busy the immigration service is back home in the States it can take almost two (2) years to get her there.

On the other hand, the fiancee visa you apply for when you return from here to the states. Eventually your fiancee will have a US embassy interview in Manila. With her she needs to take (among other things) proof that you two have spent time together. So she needs to take many photos of you together, letters that you have sent each other. (not sure about emails in today's world). Receipts for money spent that will substantiate that you were together.

Doing the fiancee visa will cut off loads of time for you. In some, even most cases, the process can take only between 3 and 6 months from the time you file until she can join you in the states.

To make and keep her and her family happy here, you may want to have a wedding ceremony WITH NO MARRIAGE LICENSE. That way, her family is able to see her get married but is not a legal registered marriage. That way you can still "legally" apply for and get her the fiancee visa.

For your reference in the event it is needed, you can visit or contact the US Embassy in Manila for any questions while you are here.

So your reasoning is or can be two fold. One, you are paying for it so it is your choice. And two, the time involved in her getting to you in the states.

The thing is here is it's important to make the family here happy--if you can and if it is practical. However, in the end, she needs to understand that you are going to marry her and not her family. So the two of you have the final say in what is done weather the family here goes along with you decision or not...


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## enjoi (Dec 20, 2013)

Jet Lag said:


> Yes, that is absolutely correct. A married immigrant visa will take well over a year and depending on how busy the immigration service is back home in the States it can take almost two (2) years to get her there.
> 
> On the other hand, the fiancee visa you apply for when you return from here to the states. Eventually your fiancee will have a US embassy interview in Manila. With her she needs to take (among other things) proof that you two have spent time together. So she needs to take many photos of you together, letters that you have sent each other. (not sure about emails in today's world). Receipts for money spent that will substantiate that you were together.
> 
> ...


Precisely. Her family is so excited for us to get married so I don't know how they're gonna react if we only do an engagement right now. Maybe we'll still do the reception and other than her parents she can tell the rest of her family we're married.


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## JimnNila143 (Jul 23, 2013)

*Marriage/Fiancee Visa*



enjoi said:


> Precisely. Her family is so excited for us to get married so I don't know how they're gonna react if we only do an engagement right now. Maybe we'll still do the reception and other than her parents she can tell the rest of her family we're married.


Never do anything to try to deceive her parents or family. Another thing that you must do is if you give her an engagement ring you must show proof that you did and use a sales receipt for that ring. It is customary to meet the girl's parents and family before you take the step to marry, however, it is also your decision as to where and when. Your fiancée has a lot to go through especially with the immigration to the USA. Also both of you need to discuss where it is you will marry, either here in the Philippines or there in the USA. You need to show documentary proof that you make a good enough income to bring her to America, you need a ton of documents, both of you need this, and make sure there are absolutely no errors. If you go with the K1 Fiancée Visa it can take less time to go through all the process. She has to do an SFO Interview, have a medical exam at St. Luke's, and go through a US Embassy Interview. The medical exam and interview are both expensive. 

One very important thing is that your fiancée needs to understand that you can't support her entire family. Just take things slowly and one step and one day at a time. Don't try to go to fast, both of you have to always stay on the same page and work together, hold or keep no secrets from each other and trust each other fully and completely.

Good luck


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## esv1226 (Mar 13, 2014)

If you intend to live in the Philippines in the future, report your marriage to the Philippine Embassy when you get married in USA.
There are Filipinas who do not need financial support. They are hard working and can contribute to the family income if they are who you are looking for.


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