# Loyalty of Filipina girl



## Bikerpat

Hi to all on the site.

Just need an opinion and I hope I don't offend anybody.

I met a Filipina girl on a dating site 3 years ago and we have developed a serious relationship since. I have visited her 5 times, met her family who seem real nice and shared some lovely times together where we got on really really well.

When I met this girl she was working in a mall and has since moved to Manila to live with her uncle and she now works in a factory. 

She's a most lovely person. I have really fallen for her and my dream is to move to Philippines to live together. I am retired and always loved South East Asia but I'm not sure I'd like to move there and be alone. 

Over the last 3 years she has been totally honest, open and loyal to me. 

There is a large age difference between us. I'm 59, she's 21 but from the very first time we met we have have got on so well you'd never think of that age difference.

As I said over the last 3 years she has come across to me as a sincere and honest girl. She says she loves me so much and hopes we can be together. Also I speak to her family and friends on Facebook and they all say that she loves me and is totally loyal and faithful and hope that we can be together as we seem a perfect match.

My girl does not want to leave Philippines and would be quite happy for us to settle in someplace where we both are happy with. She does want to do some studying.

The reason I'm posting here is that I married a Thai lady before and took her to Ireland after 7 years she walked out on me and went to live with her sister in another part of Ireland. 

And I had treated this girl really well. Am currently in the legal process of trying to separate from her legally.

So back to this lovely Filipina girl I have met and am in love with.

Are Filipina women trustful, loyal and faithful once they commit themselves to a man? Does the age difference become a problem later? 

I know in my girl's situation it's a call I have to make for myself so I am looking for a general view from you men folk on here.

In general I have found Filipina people much nicer people than the Thai's.

Would appreciate your views and comments.

Thanks

Pat


----------



## yakc130

So what you are saying, if I interpret this correctly is that you met her when you were 56, and she was 18, correct? And it was a dating site?

How big is the family? You know that they will most likely move in with you when you relocate there.

Read some of the older posts on here.

Just sayin'... hwell:


----------



## DannyA

> Are Filipina women trustful, loyal and faithful once they commit themselves to a man?


Filipina women are just that....Women,they arent a collective,they are individuals,some are faithfull and loving,some most certainly are NOT the same as women the world over,as for age difference,well some are attracted to older guys for financial security and others are attracted to the guy himself for love,there are stories out that that would make your hair curl :fingerscrossed:


----------



## Bikerpat

Thanks Doug. 

No there is no intention of family moving in with us as we both plan to move to a place not located near family.


----------



## yakc130

That sounds like a very good sign.


----------



## WestieRed

I'm not yet in the Philippines however my opinion can share that overall women from the Philippines are much nicer, true and honest than women from Thailand.


----------



## kozitsme

I was in a similar situation, year older than you. Your choice is simple, live in IR on your own may be meet someone of the same age and live happily ever after. Or you can go to the Philippines live with your girl friend, as long as your still active and fit you will have a lot of fun. In my case we chatted a lot on Skype. On my second visit asked her to marry me, then her farther he was fine about it. We had a simple wedding in the town hall restaurant meal after, all the family attended ok I had to pay for all the transport and to get them all home. Reality total cost is a weekend in Paris would have cost me more. Been there twice since, to visit the family, no one has asked me for money or any thing. We pay for all the outings, get loads of shopping to take home. Having read loads of negative comments on here about getting involved with a Lady from the Phils. I must be lucky. Her family are not rich, they were squatting some years ago they work hard for very little money, but they will give you there last plate of rice and go without. Go for it with your young lady. Good luck


----------



## Bikerpat

kozitsme said:


> I was in a similar situation, year older than you. Your choice is simple, live in IR on your own may be meet someone of the same age and live happily ever after. Or you can go to the Philippines live with your girl friend, as long as your still active and fit you will have a lot of fun. In my case we chatted a lot on Skype. On my second visit asked her to marry me, then her farther he was fine about it. We had a simple wedding in the town hall restaurant meal after, all the family attended ok I had to pay for all the transport and to get them all home. Reality total cost is a weekend in Paris would have cost me more. Been there twice since, to visit the family, no one has asked me for money or any thing. We pay for all the outings, get loads of shopping to take home. Having read loads of negative comments on here about getting involved with a Lady from the Phils. I must be lucky. Her family are not rich, they were squatting some years ago they work hard for very little money, but they will give you there last plate of rice and go without. Go for it with your young lady. Good luck


Thanks my friend. As soon as I can extricate myself from this Thai woman I'll know where I stand. I may lose my house in the settlement anyway but I hate living alone here. I have always been in SEA for the last 8 years and this winter here alone nearly killed me. My girl is super and has never given me any reason to doubt her. Where do you live by the way? 

Thanks again for your response,

Pat


----------



## kozitsme

In France. Left UK 7 years ago after my divorce and moved here. My wife is here now, after the wedding applied for her visa. She has been here over one year now, her french is coming along nicely.


----------



## Bikerpat

I think one of my girl's concerns is that she has some sort of skill to fall back on when I kick the bucket which will be long before she does because of the age difference and I can understand that. Hence her desire to learn a skill. I said I'll support that so long as the schooling doesn't dominate our life and we no time together or to holiday or travel about.


----------



## Bikerpat

kozitsme said:


> In France. Left UK 7 years ago after my divorce and moved here. My wife is here now, after the wedding applied for her visa. She has been here over one year now, her french is coming along nicely.


Oh you live in France. See, I want to go live in Philippines. Am on pension and the cost of living ehre is making it hard. Plus I love South East Asia, the climate, food, people etc.. and my girl. She doesn't want to leave Phils unless she really has to and she has said in no uncertain terms that she'll be staying with me till the end.


----------



## cvgtpc1

Bikerpat said:


> She doesn't want to leave Phils unless she really has to and she has said in no uncertain terms that she'll be staying with me till the end.


In my opinion I think for many Filipinas, if they can live a comfortable life financially with their guy, they would rather stay in the PI than leave.


----------



## kozitsme

Good on you to support her with her education that will be greatly appreciated by the family. May be you ought to consider getting a quote for the annual tuition fee, least you will know where you stand with no surprise. You mention that she's working. Find out in a casual conversation how much she contributes to the family. Those two items will help you to start making a monthly budget. Then you will have your rent, food utilities to add to it. Not going to teach you how to suck eggs. Balut makes me sick.


----------



## kozitsme

Bikerpat said:


> Oh you live in France. See, I want to go live in Philippines. Am on pension and the cost of living ehre is making it hard. Plus I love South East Asia, the climate, food, people etc.. and my girl. She doesn't want to leave Phils unless she really has to and she has said in no uncertain terms that she'll be staying with me till the end.


I did dream of living there. House on the beach with a boat with my lovely wife. May be in the future. Your money will go further in Philippines.


----------



## yakc130

It sounds like you are getting all of your ducks in a row. From the additional info you've told us, I think you have latched onto a keeper.

Go for it, and good luck to you. :nod:


----------



## simonsays

yakc130 said:


> That sounds like a very good sign.


If you refer to the not-moving part, well, for me, I take it as a not so good sign .. from my past experience ..


----------



## Bikerpat

ecureilx said:


> If you refer to the not-moving part, well, for me, I take it as a not so good sign .. from my past experience ..


What do you mean my friend?


----------



## Bikerpat

Hi my friends. Just a few points you might like to comment on. I was talking to my girl last Sunday and she said she was starting a new job on Monday in some factory. I haven't heard from her since Sunday even though I notice she has been online sending 2 birthday greetings to two of her friends. Now I bought her a laptop last trip so we could keep in touch easier. But am kinda upset that she hasn't taken the time to just send a quick message to me to say all going well when she was able to send those quick birthday greetings to her friends. Now I don't see any other activity on her account so it may be that she's on some shift or other and very tired but I thought opening the laptop for a minute to send me a messsage should not be that miuch to ask. This is one of the things that annoys me. Whether I'm overacting or not I don't know. Also I wonder if you guys get the 'it's a secret' answer to some question or other. I tend to speak my mind but when she has some problem it seems to get hushed up. And I know something is bothering her but I may not get the answer or get the answer later or even the next day. 

Maybe I'm just overreacting but I miss her. I don't expect her to be online to me everyday but with the week that's in it I'd love to know how her new job is going.

Thanks for listening.

Pat


----------



## c_uk

Bikerpat said:


> Hi my friends. Just a few points you might like to comment on. I was talking to my girl last Sunday and she said she was starting a new job on Monday in some factory. I haven't heard from her since Sunday even though I notice she has been online sending 2 birthday greetings to two of her friends. Now I bought her a laptop last trip so we could keep in touch easier. But am kinda upset that she hasn't taken the time to just send a quick message to me to say all going well when she was able to send those quick birthday greetings to her friends. Now I don't see any other activity on her account so it may be that she's on some shift or other and very tired but I thought opening the laptop for a minute to send me a messsage should not be that miuch to ask. This is one of the things that annoys me. Whether I'm overacting or not I don't know. Also I wonder if you guys get the 'it's a secret' answer to some question or other. I tend to speak my mind but when she has some problem it seems to get hushed up. And I know something is bothering her but I may not get the answer or get the answer later or even the next day.
> 
> Maybe I'm just overreacting but I miss her. I don't expect her to be online to me everyday but with the week that's in it I'd love to know how her new job is going.
> 
> Thanks for listening.
> 
> Pat


Pat, 

Your concern are understandable. But, you have to give her a chance . She might have a good reason for not able to contact you , as you mentioned she has new job. Sometimes, people of other cultures see things differently. Something's that you both need to understand. You want a " no frill" attitude and probably she's not used to opening to just about anything going on in her life. It doesn't mean she's hiding something. Being open and direct is usual for you if not for western culture. Sadly, not for every culture . 

My personal opinion, try not to check on her often or it will drive her bananas ( it would drive me to silence). And yes, sorry to say Pat- you're over reacting  

My two penny worth. 

You're experiencing cultural clash and there are many to come ie, communication


----------



## Bikerpat

Thanks C-UK. I appreciate your honest and direct answer. And I think you're right, well I hope you're right. I guess I miss her and care for her and just hope she's doing ok. But I don't want to smother her either. I'll give it time and see how things pan out. 

Again may I say I appreciate your direct answer. 

Pat


----------



## simonsays

Bikerpat said:


> ...


Not as a stereotype of All thing pinay, but, me, having close friends and near relatives in PH, let me put it this way .. 

Firstly, if a girl of that age has time to greet others but not you .. it shows you are on the lowest point of their 'priority' list .. no .. I maybe wrong here ..

Yes, I do have some girls who are late teens, and early 20's who behave like that .. antics include purposely ignoring their BFs and giggling about it, and being coached by some senior, will believe that action will build close relationship .. not knowing the guy is going mental .. (yep, been there long time ago too .. )

And then again, I always been saying, it is the upbringing .. 

Now in those who I know, and very close with, such a thing wouldn't happen .. and should it pop up, it will be severely dealt with - i.e. simply IT IS A NO .. not in their upbringing .. 



Bikerpat said:


> Also I wonder if you guys get the 'it's a secret' answer to some question or other.


means, she don't want to admit the truth .. like, say, in a not so nice way "have you had a bf ?" and the answer is "secret" .. make your guess. Or it could be a No, which she is shy to tell you directly .. 

BTW, again, the above I wrote is not to offend anybody, but just my 2 cents worth opinion .. and from what I know, having had friends and again, to repeat, very close friends as good as family, in PH.

I didn't go through all the other replies, but, if my reply comes as something you wouldn't want to hear, just ignore it .. 

My warning antenna went up when i saw the age difference.. 

While some paint FIlipinos as scheming, and thieving, I will never do that. For me, either it is the upbringing that condones certain things not accepted for others, or .. it is a simple case of survival .. again, it also depends n their upbringing .. those who are from good families will never ask for a cent, even when they are in deep trouble.. then again, the poorer folk have been conditioned in a way that it is ok to ask from rich .. let me know go there, or this conversation will go in a different direction then onwards .. 

I would go on to expound, but, it may sound bitter 



c_uk said:


> You're experiencing cultural clash and there are many to come ie, communication


You maybe on to something there .. but, well, yah, right ..  



yakc130 said:


> Just sayin'... hwell:


+1



DannyA said:


> Filipina women are just that....Women,they arent a collective,they are individuals,some are faithfull and loving,some most certainly are NOT the same as women the world over,as for age difference,well some are attracted to older guys for financial security and others are attracted to the guy himself for love,there are stories out that that would make your hair curl :fingerscrossed:


And I would say, some are attracted to older men... for other stuff .. yah, women all over the world are quite like that, and I chalk it to their basic instinct to survive at all costs .. 

Like the case of a friend who suddenly found he was a father, when in reality he wasn't and the girl admitted that the friend of mine was deemed to be a better and providing father than the actual father, who was a taxi driver in Manila .. was the woman cruel ? no, i would say, she wanted the best for her kid .. right??

PS: I believe it is a case, primarily, of clash of Ages .. added with a pinch of the girls' upbringing. . you gonna have more fun along the way ..


----------



## DannyA

> I believe it is a case, primarily, of clash of Ages


And cultures,in reference to the age discrepancy as one well educated filipina once told me "Its every 20 year old girls dream to meet a guy older than her dad" She was being a little hinuwayon (sarcastic) I think,some age-gap relationships work,some dont,but they appear to be more accepted in PI than the west,though even in the PI they have a sayings..the 4M's matandang mayaman madaling mamatay(old rich and soon to die) normally associated with young women old western guys or old carabao eats young grass,this isnt personal,its not my thoughts,just experiences I have picked up after living in PI on and off for 2 decades and having had relationships with one or two ladies in that time.


----------



## c_uk

DannyA said:


> And cultures,in reference to the age discrepancy as one well educated filipina once told me "Its every 20 year old girls dream to meet a guy older than her dad" She was being a little hinuwayon (sarcastic) I think,some age-gap relationships work,some dont,but they appear to be more accepted in PI than the west,though even in the PI they have a sayings..the 4M's matandang mayaman madaling mamatay(old rich and soon to die) normally associated with young women old western guys or old carabao eats young grass,this isnt personal,its not my thoughts,just experiences I have picked up after living in PI on and off for 2 decades and having had relationships with one or two ladies in that time.


A humorous statement Danny  4 M's ( perhaps having a little pension IS seen as being rich to some young or old ladies ) Sounded like you're defining one gold digger. Those types of relationship are almost every where. But then why do men with 4 M's title attracted to young women


----------



## DannyRDG

Pat,

Im not one for beating about the bush, with me black is black and white is white. Sorry if you dont like what I have to write but im just giving you my tuppence worth.

Firstly my background. 45 years old with a 46 year old filipina partner. We met 25 years ago, lost touch and are now back together. Been back with each other nearly 2 years and both loving every minute of it!

I think you MUST be deluded if you honestly think a young 21 year old woman in the prime of her life is seriously wanting to give herself to a man who is fast approaching retirement! Yes, you are still capable of producing children (I presume) but think ahead fella. Even if you live to 75 years old your poor children are going to be no older than 13 or 14 years old when its time for you to meet your maker. Tradition in the Philippines is for large families so that children can look after their parents when its time to retire. When you want to settle down for an early night with a cup of hot horlicks, your wife/partner will be wanting to party and enjoy herself.

Dont get me wrong, I have heard of peoples relationships surviving massive age gaps , but also have heard some real horror stories. Girls having philipino lovers and milking their white partners and even having them murdered for the life insurance policy! 

Think long and hard before diving into this. Think with your head thats on top of your shoulders and not the one between your legs!

Its very flattering to be approached by young girls, young enough to be your daughter, or in your case grand daughter! 

The saying back home, which you must of heard a 1000 times: If it seems too good to be true, it usually is!

Sorry if ive upset other readers, but its just the way I see it!


----------



## DannyA

> But then why do men with 4 M's title attracted to young women


I havent a clue M,not my cuppa chai,my womans a year younger than me.


----------



## Bikerpat

Hi all, 

Again many thanks for your honest and open opinions. 

I can look at this ways. Either it will work and it has so far in the last three years or it will fall apart after a period of being together.

Either way I feel I want to give it a try unless something changes in the meantime. I am already retired and have told her family I ain't a rich sugar daddy.

I have been in touch with the Director of Philippine Consular Affairs here in Dublin, not about the relationship, but about my visa options.

Having got information from him I have many visa options so I can give the relationship a try over there in Phils and hope it works but if it doesn't I can leave. My funds will be maintained here in Ireland or elsewhere.
I have gone through in my head all the advice I have received here re her age, her aspirations, children (which she says she doesn't want and I have told her had a vasectomy anyway), is she using me etc.........

So unless I find something in the meantime that turns me off her I would like to give it a go. I can walk away if it fails but I would hate to not try and regret never having tried as she is a lovely girl, good family background, great values re life, everyone likes her, unselfish (she gives up her wages to her family), she works and I've seen her salary slips and what she got for the amount of hours she put it. And we work well together. 

Anyway nothing ids going to happen in the shorterm as she's now on a 5 month contract and I have stuff to sort out here first anyway.

I am not taken aback by any comments that have been made, I want it called as you see it. I will make the decision myself in the end anyway. 

Rock on my friends 

Pat


----------



## Bikerpat

Keep On Choogling ..................as I said above I think I'll give it a go unless things go really wrong in the meantime. Let's see. Be cool dude.


----------



## simonsays

Bikerpat said:


> Either way I feel I want to give it a try unless something changes in the meantime. I am already retired and have told her family I ain't a rich sugar daddy.


You don't have to say it, but you are doing it already I guess ..




Bikerpat said:


> I have been in touch with the Director of Philippine Consular Affairs here in Dublin, not about the relationship, but about my visa options.


My 2 cents: though many think that relationship with vast age gap is 'accepted' I would say it is 'tolerated' for the time being. Now if the Ph Consular guy is a Filipino, I would love to know what he REALLY thinks about what you are doing .. not that it matters anyway .. Filipinos don't communicate directly and a lot of implied words are there .. like a girl who was silent and said she implied she wanted some space .. and I was overbearing etc. etc. that's a lesson there btw. 

And on my own experience, again, probably due to some upbringing of some girls, again, not all girls- asking for space = dating other guys / sleeping with other guys, as a way to claim back their space .. happens and it is considered normal .. and again my disclaimer: not all are like that .. but those who do don't find anything worng there .. 



Bikerpat said:


> So unless I find something in the meantime that turns me off her I would like to give it a go. I can walk away if it fails but I would hate to not try and regret never having tried as she is a lovely girl, good family background, great values re life, everyone likes her, unselfish (she gives up her wages to her family), she works and I've seen her salary slips and what she got for the amount of hours she put it. And we work well together.


I don't want to sound sour, but a good family, a good FILIPINO family, will not simply close their eyes for their teenage girl being in love with somebody thrice their age .. .. nuff said .. And the rest you describe, is normal Filipino traits, and if I may sound on the edge of reality, with a girl who gives her earning to the family, the family will be unhappy to loose her ..

BTW, In case I didn't read it properly, what is her family doing ? Father / mother / siblings ? why would she have to provide for the 'family' ?



dogged said:


> ...


 ??? 



DannyA said:


> I havent a clue M,not my cuppa chai,my womans a year younger than me.


Same here .. 



DannyRDG said:


> I think you MUST be deluded if you honestly think a young 21 year old woman in the prime of her life is seriously wanting to give herself to a man who is fast approaching retirement! Yes, you are still capable of producing children (I presume) but think ahead fella. Even if you live to 75 years old your poor children are going to be no older than 13 or 14 years old when its time for you to meet your maker. Tradition in the Philippines is for large families so that children can look after their parents when its time to retire. When you want to settle down for an early night with a cup of hot horlicks, your wife/partner will be wanting to party and enjoy herself.


Well, I was told this by a good Filipino friend of mine, when I fancied a young filipina and she did fancy me too .. my Good Filipino friend told me in not so nice words to not communicate with him or his family if I persist .. and he went on to add 'at your age, you want 40's stuff, at her age, she wants 20's stuff, so how can you even have a bit of fun ? When you go to the beach, you would like to drink and relax, she would like to party and burn energy .. do you get it ??'

BTW, I heard from some doctor in PH, when some families have a female child they are thrilled and the father would go it seems "ah, I can retire soon, my daugther will take care of me .. "



DannyRDG said:


> Dont get me wrong, I have heard of peoples relationships surviving massive age gaps , but also have heard some real horror stories. Girls having philipino lovers and milking their white partners and even having them murdered for the life insurance policy!


Well said .. and not many make it to the news .. not even 1 in 10 makes it to the news .. as in PH Law, a few wheels have to turn to make it to court/news .. or it is considered 'the foreigner deserved it for taking advantage of young girls .. ' etc. etc..



> The saying back home, which you must of heard a 1000 times: If it seems too good to be true, it usually is!
> 
> Sorry if ive upset other readers, but its just the way I see it!


+1 !!!!!!

BTW, Bikerpat: when you said she communicated with her friend but not you .. that's a sign of age gap .. She may say silly stuff to her age friend, and vice-versa, but wouldn't nor could you, as your words maybe ms-contrued. or rather, will be misunderstood most of the times .. 

Like an example: one of my then-Ex was having her birthday and I wasn't there, so I went "well, I am your gift, come and collect it .. " and after a while I get a nasty and rude message in the lines of me implying she is a hooker .. etc. etc. etc ..

Simply lost in translation

And another: I went to a cold corner of PH, and reasonably cold time it was, and I was wearing a black jacket, and when I reached the destination I was given a serious cold shoulder and I had to virtually stumble out to a nearby town to shack up .. later I found out, in 'their' culture, wearing black is not welcome, even though I had no other jackets and the jacket I was wearing was pretty good quality etc. etc.

No go, so next day I had to stumble back to my friend's place, minus the jacket, shivering like hell .. and yes, the altitude was just over 7,000 something feet .. 

My 2 cents to bikerpat would be, if you can't find a more mature girl, go and live in PH for a year or two, and then make your choice

Though I doubt you would do that as you seem very fixated on this girl.

BTW, just to annoy you... this uncle of her's whom she is staying with, in Manila, have you met him ?? 


PS: Another filipino comment: it is ok for old and rich Filipinos / old senators to have young mistresses, but it is NOT ok for the normal middle class to do so, as it is as good as having sex with your own daughter


----------



## Bikerpat

Thanks my friend.

Her family in Pagadian are fishing people with their own boats/katamarangs or whatever you call them.

I have met her uncle twice. He works and we got on very well. I liked him. One evening I asked for a face to face honest opn discussion with him and my girl. So me and my girl and her uncle sat down and had a serious chat, I had the agenda all written out and I explained clearly who, what I am, my past, my current situation and what I am expecting in the future. My approach was, here's the deal, I have a wrtitten agenda, I love your niece and will look after her. Ad I got what you might call a blessing from him re our relationship which has maintained when I chat with him on FB. I got time and I'll judge things over the next while and see if she's still in earnest or if there's another agenda. 

Thanks man

Pat

p.s Got 'ONE' by U2 on my headset right now, hmmmmmm


----------



## simonsays

Bikerpat said:


> Her family in Pagadian are fishing people with their own boats/katamarangs or whatever you call them.


Pagadian, Mindanao .. well .. nice place, but one of the poorest regions .. of PH



Bikerpat said:


> I have met her uncle twice. He works and we got on very well. I liked him. One evening I asked for a face to face honest opn discussion with him and my girl. So me and my girl and her uncle sat down and had a serious chat, I had the agenda all written out and I explained clearly who, what I am, my past, my current situation and what I am expecting in the future. My approach was, here's the deal, I have a wrtitten agenda, I love your niece and will look after her. Ad I got what you might call a blessing from him re our relationship which has maintained when I chat with him on FB. I got time and I'll judge things over the next while and see if she's still in earnest or if there's another agenda.


Well, that I don't get it .. if it was me, I wouldn't have bothered to seek his blessings .. in a way .. 

Anyway, in case you think I sound like a disappointed or upset guy or just doing a 'he-said, she-said' thing, let me say, I am happy and have mixed experiences with Filipinos .. so there are two sides to any coin .. and that's just my humble words ..


----------



## c_uk

Bikerpat said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Again many thanks for your honest and open opinions.
> 
> I can look at this ways. Either it will work and it has so far in the last three years or it will fall apart after a period of being together.
> 
> Either way I feel I want to give it a try unless something changes in the meantime. I am already retired and have told her family I ain't a rich sugar daddy.
> 
> I have been in touch with the Director of Philippine Consular Affairs here in Dublin, not about the relationship, but about my visa options.
> 
> Having got information from him I have many visa options so I can give the relationship a try over there in Phils and hope it works but if it doesn't I can leave. My funds will be maintained here in Ireland or elsewhere.
> I have gone through in my head all the advice I have received here re her age, her aspirations, children (which she says she doesn't want and I have told her had a vasectomy anyway), is she using me etc.........
> 
> So unless I find something in the meantime that turns me off her I would like to give it a go. I can walk away if it fails but I would hate to not try and regret never having tried as she is a lovely girl, good family background, great values re life, everyone likes her, unselfish (she gives up her wages to her family), she works and I've seen her salary slips and what she got for the amount of hours she put it. And we work well together.
> 
> Anyway nothing ids going to happen in the shorterm as she's now on a 5 month contract and I have stuff to sort out here first anyway.
> 
> I am not taken aback by any comments that have been made, I want it called as you see it. I will make the decision myself in the end anyway.
> 
> Rock on my friends
> 
> Pat


I'd say good on you! Good luck ...


----------



## DannyRDG

Pat,

Look at it this way. If you had a 21 year old daughter that brought back a boyfriend to meet you and he was actually older than you, would you be happy with the situation? Her parents are being polite to your face, they live in one of the poorest areas of the Pinas. They see you as nothing more than a ATM. What parent, living in abject poverty would see it any other way? Are you sure that her "uncle" is actually a relative at all and not a lover? I have heard so many stories where a filipina has claimed that a male is her cousin, uncle or brother and then actually you later find out its her lover and before you know it your dead! My partners family now live in Angeles city, they moved there years ago. I have visited a few times now and have shared nights out with her brothers on fields avenue. I have seen old men, barely able to walk unaided with a young lady on their arm. It sickens me to the very bottom of my stomach, they look nothing more than paedophiles! I know, a very strong word to use, but again, just my opinion. No wonder the local men hate white people so much when they see this going on 7 days a week. I actually feel ashamed to be white when visiting, I dont want taring with the same brush. But I know I do. Women the world over look for stability and security. When I served in big Garrison towns in England, Northern Ireland, Germany and other countries I have served in, there were always women in bars frequented by off duty squaddies looking for a boyfriend, someone that had more expendable cash than your average civvy. You hear of huge fights in Garrison towns between soldiers and civvies, it all boils down to jealousy on the civvy side. How can your average civvy compete for a womans love compared to a squaddie? The chance for them to escape their boring lives, to travel and be financially secure. Can you imagine how much more that is craved when you live in such poverty?

I think you seriously need to wake up and smell the coffee! If I were you I would politely let this girl go and try and find a lady closer to your age, one that will share some common interests. Take a long hard look in the mirror, talk to yourself and ask, "what common interests do me and this young lady share?"

As I said in my previous message, think with your head on top of your shoulders, not the one between your legs!


----------



## DannyRDG

dogged said:


> Well, IF the old man is sterile, loyal and good to her, Why not? If he is taking her back to his (wealthy) country, teaching her how to make real money, invest it well, making her black belt and getting her both skilled with guns and a ccw carry permit, once she is a citizen, so she will be safe, and then turning her loose to find a man her own age, to have her kids, etc, I'd be thrilled at the idea of my daughter marrying him. She can send some "spare" money to the family, ya know.


So really, what your saying is, "oh, its ok to bring a young lady back to my country, have "fun" with her and then set her free. I can then find another and do exactly the same all over again?" Where I come from, thats a form of human trafficking! 

Sick!


----------



## Bikerpat

The Director for Philippine Consular Affairs is Irish. 

I would find it very hard to go and live in Phils knowing she's there somewhere.

I would prefer to try and live together and then get a suss as to what she really is like in a relationship living together.

At the moment I have no reason to doubt her sincerity and am conscious of how family matters work as I have been going to SEA for over 20 years.

I am very grateful for the frank and sincere comments and am taking them all on board. 

Thank you again,

Pat


----------



## Asian Spirit

*Closed*

*Okay "Gentlemen?" This thread is closed. Leave it here and not start another with the same content:hand:*


----------

