# To take the move or not?



## stella123 (Mar 13, 2014)

Hi everyone,

Last week, my husbands company asked if he would accept a relocation package to work in the new office in Dallas, Texas. We knew they were setting up offices overseas in a few locations, but we never expected a job offer. So it was sort of a shock.

My husband is quite happy and excited about this, however, I am really scared, I'm not too worried about the moving part, as the company is taking care of costs of moving and has found a house etc. 

But the part I'm most concerned about is the fact that I am currently a stay at home mum to 4 kids, half of which are in school, I do not know a single person over there, I have never travelled, I have lived in the one place my entire life. 

Is there anyone out there or anywhere that I can look up, that will give me an idea of what it is like to live there? Any body got any information/ advice on how to make this smooth with kids involved? I would really love to hear from parents of children under 10 years old. Any information you have found useful that I could read.

Whilst we have not decided to take or reject the offer, I do not want to make the choice lightly, I want to get all possible info, good and bad.

Thank you in advance


----------



## BBCWatcher (Dec 28, 2012)

Would his employer offer a "look see" trip so you could investigate? That's not uncommon.


----------



## stella123 (Mar 13, 2014)

I did not see any mention of that in the "draft" that was given to us, I'm not sure if they would or not. I would love to visit first, I will put that to my husband tonight.

I guess there is no harm in us going for a quick visit, but it is a long way from Australia.


----------



## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

Kids are usually remarkably adaptable. What you need to do is to consider your own situation. Are you really close with family living nearby? Are you active in local clubs or groups? Some of that can be recreated elsewhere, some of it can't.

You can maintain contact via all the usual high tech things - Skype or other VOIP phone, e-mail, video cams, etc. etc. And there are loads of things for you to do in Dallas, particularly with school aged kids, since they are always looking for volunteers in the schools and other groups in town. Plus, there are classes and clubs where you can meet new friends and build yourself a handy little network.

A visit may definitely help. But consider what things are important to you, and how you could maintain contact or strike out in new directions with a move like this. You may find you can have the time of your life.
Cheers,
Bev


----------



## stella123 (Mar 13, 2014)

Thank you, that has given me a lot to think about.


----------



## BBCWatcher (Dec 28, 2012)

Qantas now flies to Dallas, sometimes with a technical stop in Brisbane. It's the world's longest flight (at least on a 747), but it is one flight.


----------



## stella123 (Mar 13, 2014)

We would fly out of Brisbane, I'll check it out. 

Just found a few interesting reads on the Internet, 

Some good and some bad, I guess it will be what you make it.


----------



## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

DFW has some of the best school districts. Public schools are tied to location of residence. Google "Dallas SD" and "Dallas ISD". Check which of the schools this company provided house will belong to. Otherwise - there are private options.

DFW is not small. Can you give some more detail on the location? 

Weather - this winter down to single digits, in summer triple digits in Fahrenheit.
Shopping - everything you can think of
Outdoor activities - in summer dependent on temperatures
Groceries - I find fresh fruit/vegetables/dairy expensive while meat is dirt cheap. Google supermarkets and read the weekly adds
Commutes - can be gruesome, select your location well
Transients/Expats - with the current boom almost a plague:>)
Children - large families are rather common, kids are everywhere and so are mommy groups ...


----------



## BBCWatcher (Dec 28, 2012)

The language is mostly the same, so that part won't require much adjustment, unlike many other parts of the world.

Dallas is very sprawling, to expand on that "big" comment. It tends to be very pedestrian hostile, though there are a few minor exceptions. Public transit is developing but still relatively nascient. You'll want to make a conscious effort to break through "suburban car culture," otherwise you can sometimes feel a bit socially isolated. There are many, many ways to do that, but you have to make a little effort, and some neighborhoods are better than others. People are generally pretty friendly, so that helps.

It's a very good base if you/your husband will need to travel in the Americas. For that reason a lot of companies like to station field service workers in Dallas since they're usually one flight segment away at most from their customers. Dallas is not the only city like that, but it's one of them.

It's not America's best food city overall, but it's known for some excellent restaurants in particular categories. For example, while the seafood is better elsewhere, the steakhouses, BBQ joints, and "TexMex" are superb. If you're a carnivore, it's amazing.

Dallas and most of the surrounding area is very flat, though the "Hill Country" isn't _too_ far away and is rather beautiful. There are significant drought problems right now, so maybe you won't be able to wash cars or water gardens. But Australia has had similar issues, so maybe that isn't new or problematic.

There is a tremendous gap between rich and poor, wider in Dallas than in a lot of places. Crime rates are not the highest and not the lowest in the U.S., but they are significantly higher than Australia's rates. Exercise reasonable care, and please be sure to de-escalate any potential or actual confrontations. Many Texans are armed -- gun ownership rates there are higher than U.S. averages. Concealed firearms are perfectly legal and common. Law enforcement might not have much tolerance for misbehavior, so if you've got teenagers make sure they know Texas does not fool around. Texas is one of the world's leaders in executions, for example, and definitely the U.S. leader.

Christianity, particularly evangelical Christianity, is perhaps more prominent in Texas than in many other parts of the U.S. But Texas also has more strip clubs than practically anywhere else, and alcohol is particularly cheap and extremely available. Dallas is certainly big enough to find significant numbers of practically every faith community.

Are there any other cities on offer, for comparison? I found a Harris poll from last year in which Americans were asked where in the U.S. they would most like to move if they were moving. Dallas didn't rank in their top 15, but another city in Texas, Austin, ranked quite well. I'd personally agree with that. I prefer Austin over Dallas if the destination is Texas, and given a choice. However, I don't think I would have left Dallas out of my personal top 15. If you have to travel multiple times per month on business Dallas is very appealing as a base, particularly if you have family, because it's among the most connected cities. It gets very tiring very quickly to make flight connections for every trip. That counts for a lot if that's the situation, and that's a common professional role for international assignees.


----------



## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

Malt liquor and beer is extremely expensive but what local micro breweries produce is worth the expense.

Local vineyards are thriving. Even chains such as WalMart carry a variety of Australian wines:>)

Thanks to a large Asian population grocery chains such as H Mart plus a lot of locally owned ones offer everything from Korean to Japanese - produce, cans, frozen, sometimes live plants. Of course there are Mexican groceries which I find the best source for fresh produce and pork. Most grocery stores fly in seafood on a daily basis. From local honey, goat cheese to a rainbow of peppers and grass fed beef ... Tell me what you will need. There are lots of specialty stores, most of them reasonable, offering import merchandise. The big chains have buggies/carts with two toddler seats and belts:>)

Restaurants offer everything from steakhouse, BBQ, Cajun, Noveau, chain restaurants to food trucks offering top notch to mom and pop places. You name it - it is there. Children are always welcome.

There are pedestrian sections of town, public transportation and commuter trains. With four kids you will need a car! Americans are simply kid crazy. Parents are expected to participate in school and extracurricular activities. Yes, car pooling, play dates, school events, after school events ... a full time job:>) You will find a lot of "mom's day out" and other programs if you do not want to put the little ones into full day care. Drivers license - no big deal. Google DMV Texas.

In three years I have not been invited to go to church. In six years in what is called The South I was not asked. In my experience churches are a lot more of a social structure/network then the traditional Catholic/Protestant ones in Europe. You do not have to join a church to use services such as school/day care.

Clothes and brand names are very inexpensive. Yes, Uggs and Daisy Dukes (cheek short shorts) are a current trend very few can full off:>) Cosmetics are cheap! Hair salon services depend on your needs. I spend $20 for cut/blow dry.

DFW is on two growing zones. Ft. Worth is known as The Gate to The West. We live on the actual prairie - dry, flat, weather changes from a to b in 30 minutes, you water - it grows! Daffodils are done blooming and roses show buds today, 80F right now:>) 2013 we had no enforced water restrictions. Drought is and has been an issued. Watering restrictions generally limited garden usage to certain days of the week and ask to be frugal with non necessary usage. I have seen worse in other states. It is flat, flat, flat! You are in the Hill Country in no time, the coast is close, lots of huge lakes in the area. I did not believe it but sailing is big in DFW. 

Art/culture as much as you can handle from international piano competition to boot stomping at Billy Bob's. Bring the kids.

Traffic can be very heavy. 4-way-stops are very common and drivers are courteous. The reason is simple - fines are heavy. Police does not fiddle fart. Fine with me.

Being close to Mexico we have a huge Hispanic population. Some Mexican, some from who knows where, some legal, some illegal. I learned not to judge books by the cover. 

Yes, you will see guns. Currently the law does not allow what is referred to as "concealed carry". It takes four months and up to get a concealed license as part of it is a complete back ground check. You will see as many Prada purses as you will see guns:>) But you will see guys in pressed jeans, Western boots, belt buckles the size of a small plate and Cowboy hat buying groceries. Boots go from $50 to limitless, hats from $20 to as much as you can afford. Yes, they come in toddler sizes:>)

Rich - poor is an issue everywhere. Do not let appearances deceive you. I find it fascinating that you have neighborhoods with 500 to 1k houses and a lot with grazing land for burros and cattle in the middle. There are less desirable neighborhoods and up and coming ones. 

Being inland humidity is only occasionally an issue and that is what air condition is good for.

To put it into a nutshell - after the initial adjustment you will be too busy with kids, their activities, your own ventures. DFW was and is not my perfect destination but the plus outweighs the minus.


----------



## Bevdeforges (Nov 16, 2007)

And just to add a bit to this discussion - my Australian friend (one of the nicest and most fun people it has ever been my pleasure to know) says that Americans and Aussies have a natural affinity and generally get on great together.

Her theory is that both countries are basically "rebels" from Mother England. In many ways, the accents are similar (not so sure about the Texas accent, but you'll get used to it quickly enough) and both the Aussies and the Americans tend to be friendly, outgoing folks, ready and willing to take in newcomers and show them a good time.

Aussies throw things on the "barbie" and Texans will barbecue just about anything edible. What's not to love?
Cheers,
Bev


----------



## stella123 (Mar 13, 2014)

There was Austin, Texas office, which another employee snapped up. And an office in Oklahoma City? If I got that correct.


----------



## BBCWatcher (Dec 28, 2012)

If there's business travel involved then Dallas is a far better base. Otherwise, if you go for a look-see trip, it'd be easy to visit both options.


----------



## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

stella123 said:


> There was Austin, Texas office, which another employee snapped up. And an office in Oklahoma City? If I got that correct.


Oklahoma has state income tax; Texas does not.


----------



## BBCWatcher (Dec 28, 2012)

twostep said:


> Oklahoma has state income tax; Texas does not.


True, but that is only one factor to consider, and it may not be a factor at all. State income taxes are generally deductible on federal returns, and/or an international assignee may be tax equalized.


----------



## stella123 (Mar 13, 2014)

Ok, thanks a heap for the info, we have come to an agreement with the company, and we will be flying over in May, for 8 days to both Dallas and Oklahoma City, to view the suburbs where the houses are, schools etc. 

Also I believe that my husband will remain on the australian pay roll for the time being, I'm not fully sure how that will work.

Can not wait! I have never been overseas!!


----------



## twostep (Apr 3, 2008)

You will see TX and OK in Spring finery!!!


----------

