# Child arrangement orders and mirror orders



## KateWiiliams (Aug 9, 2016)

Hi, my ex having verbally agreed for my son and I to move to Spain, is now saying he won't let us without an order or I am abducting him- he does this 3 weeks before we are due to move and complete on house sale. Has anyone experience of this. I was hoping to do mediation and get a lawyer to write up what's agreed. He is also now saying he wants our son in the uk for 2 weekends a month- when he can barely manage 4 hrs on 1 day a week. I was intending to be back in the in UK work for 1 week a month and bring my son with me so he can see his dad. Would it be easier to say house in Spain is a holiday home? 
Any advice or experience welcome X


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

KateWiiliams said:


> Hi, my ex having verbally agreed for my son and I to move to Spain, is now saying he won't let us without an order or I am abducting him- he does this 3 weeks before we are due to move and complete on house sale. Has anyone experience of this. I was hoping to do mediation and get a lawyer to write up what's agreed. He is also now saying he wants our son in the uk for 2 weekends a month- when he can barely manage 4 hrs on 1 day a week. I was intending to be back in the in UK work for 1 week a month and bring my son with me so he can see his dad. Would it be easier to say house in Spain is a holiday home?
> Any advice or experience welcome X


Difficult situation

You don't say how old your son is, but if school age, you would need official court documentation that gives you the right to have him in Spain with you - & also for registering as resident whatever his age. It sounds as if you plan to spend more time in Spain than in the UK, so you can't just 'say' that the house is a holiday home, because you'd be resident here.

A verbal agreement would never have been enough to satisfy the authorities. 

You might even have trouble simply taking him out of the UK in the first place without official documentation that you have the right to do so


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## KateWiiliams (Aug 9, 2016)

Hi, he is 12 and chosen to stay with me. I have to home educate as he has a health condition which means he is not allowed to do more then 2 hours a day at school. 2 hrs at high school means he is permanently behind and was very stressful for him. I used to teach so I can achieve more in 2 hours with him than at school. I am hoping the climate helps him and he can start school in Spain at some point. I am keeping my business in the uk so need to commute anyway. Also his father knows he is welcome at anytime to stay and see him. I'm just worried about the expense and time scale required to get these documents now.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

KateWiiliams said:


> Hi, he is 12 and chosen to stay with me. I have to home educate as he has a health condition which means he is not allowed to do more then 2 hours a day at school. 2 hrs at high school means he is permanently behind and was very stressful for him. I used to teach so I can achieve more in 2 hours with him than at school. I am hoping the climate helps him and he can start school in Spain at some point. I am keeping my business in the uk so need to commute anyway. Also his father knows he is welcome at anytime to stay and see him. I'm just worried about the expense and time scale required to get these documents now.
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I think you're going to have to bite the bullet & get the paperwork. If nothing else, they love red tape here & the govt will want proper legal proof that your son can live here with you 

Without it you won't be able to get registered as resident, access health care nor eventually get your son into school if that becomes possible


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## KateWiiliams (Aug 9, 2016)

Thankyou, earliest appt with my lawyer is a week today, fingers crossed it can be done at speed as already given notice on our temporary accommodation. Will see if I can find some advice line or something so I am prepared for appt. 


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## rspltd (Jul 5, 2016)

You will also find that home schooling is frowned upon in Spain , some will say illegal so this is another area to be cautious of.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

rspltd said:


> You will also find that home schooling is frowned upon in Spain , some will say illegal so this is another area to be cautious of.


Yes - I think the OP already had a thread about that.

I believe that when there are medical reasons it's OK though


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## rspltd (Jul 5, 2016)

I do wonder what health condition would enable a child to go to school but only for two hours?


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## KateWiiliams (Aug 9, 2016)

ME. He got swine flu very badly many years ago and never recovered. People died in that epidemic. He is under the top specialist in Europe, we are very lucky. It's created a number of side affects / health issues that he is very closely monitored for. He is technically on a watch and wait list for some serious stuff. We have done everything that was asked and there have been some significant improvements. I honestly feel that a total change and better climate and actual sunshine might speed I the recovery. I want to remove him from the daily environment and people where he is classed as an invalid in the hope that that also helps. Psychologically I am sure that impacts. The hospital wrote to the school every month with progress updates and what hours he was allowed to attend. It was fine in primary level but at secondary level it just didn't work at all and created more issues and lots of stress. If there are 4 English and 4 maths and 2 of every other subject in the week, even attending the 2 hours he was always behind. For every 1 maths he attended he missed 3 and so on... For a bright and proud kid this is a nightmare. So I started homeschooling which has worked really well. The hospital agreed that home ed would be better for him than school. We will start gcse this year, years ahead of his piers. In the UK I run a little home ed group for kids his age so they can learn together and socialise. I am hoping to do the same in Spain and hopefully the complete change might help his health enough to go back into school. Even a half day would be wonderful. Trying to jump through hospital and school hoops has been very difficult - especially when they didn't match at all. I can't work full time anymore because of it, so a mortgage free life in Spain is easier as I can do most of my work online or away from the shop. It's been difficult so need to make changes for an easier and hopefully healthier life! 


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## rspltd (Jul 5, 2016)

I didn't mean to pry but it is probably relevant given that you will be responsible for health costs (I think). Of course you raise another issue that WIfi/internet speeds are very much dependent upon where you are. You may not be able to successfully run an business over the internet.


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## thrax (Nov 13, 2008)

I doubt you will have any problems home schooling under those circumstances. You will, of course, require evidence and then have that referred to a Spanish doctor so that it can be confirmed, but I rather suspect you will be fine. I am a maths teacher (and physics) so if you need any help on any aspects he might find difficult, if I have an idea to help I will gladly share it. PM though, if that is ok. Good luck with all the other issues.


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## thrax (Nov 13, 2008)

Wifi is a point well made. You really need to be absolutely sure that where you choose to live really does have an acceptable connection. You can be absolutely certain that the owner/landlord/agent will tell you it is wonderful but they often lie...


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