# Anyone else in my shoes?



## Ytamer (Jan 9, 2021)

Hi everyone! I'm completly new at this. I just wanted to connect to people that might have had similar experiences and see how other people are doing.
Bit of background. I was born in Italy and when I was 14, my mother decided to move to England with me and my siblings. I found the whole experience extremely difficult, especially because I had a limited grasp of the language and leaving my friends behind was challenging. I made the most of it. I did my GCSEs, A levels, went to University in England, fell in love with an English man, then Brexit got voted in. Needless to say it took a toll on me, especially because I experience high levels of discrimination directly due to it, and on my relationship. When they decided to end the free movement, my partner and I had to make a decision to make: stay and see how things turn out, knowing that if anything happened to my residency my partner would have had difficulties leaving the country after the 31st of December, or leave. We moved to Italy last month and I am finding this experience challenging. I was asked for the second time to chose between my family and my life and it's really starting to take a toll on me. I feel like I wasn't really given a choice (and it was literally cheaper to move to Italy and for my partner to get Italian citizenship in a few years than for me to apply for the English citizenship) and I am grievieng for everything I left behind everything that I built in the past 19 years.
If anyone has had similar experiences, I would love to connect and chat


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## NickZ (Jun 26, 2009)

You don't say how long it's been since you've moved but many people seem to have phases.

Honeymoon. Everything is wonderful

Anti moon. Everything is terrible. You only see the faults. Often this happens during the winter . Cooped up inside. This year with the virus situation I'd expect it to be worse than usual.

Reality. You start seeing a bit of both the good and the bad.

You have the advantage of growing up in Italy. You don't state if you still have any family here or childhood friends. Both can help. But of course with the virus you may be sheltering at home.

All I can say is many people find moving hard. Supposedly moving is one of the most stressful things in life and that's just moving across town. But most people adjust. Humans have an amazing ability to deal with things over time.


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## GeordieBorn (Jul 15, 2016)

I hope you get replies from others in your circumstance that help you. Perhaps a month is a bit too soon to know how you feel. It is bound to be a great upheaval moving, let alone to another country, albeit one you where you were born. Different generation and going the other way, we moved to Italy 11 or so years ago and then because of circumstances came back to the UK. It was, and still is a whirl wind of emotions. We have slowly found there are many things in England we now like (including some of the weather) , but often things we miss from Italy. But we have also said we would never say we won’t go back to live there, even though we feel or know we won’t. Take it day by day, Nick is absolutely right that winter and Covid are not going to help, hopefully both will soon be gone!


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## Ytamer (Jan 9, 2021)

Thank you both for the replies! I really do appreciate you taking time to post on this thread. I think, NickZ, you're right. The winter and Covid is making us feel a bit isolated, and I have struggled talking about the whole situation with people around me as they all seem confused on why we took the decision we did and they don't really understand how Brexit has deeply affected us. There are great things in Italy that I admire and there are things about England that I miss (our house, my old job...) and I guess I just need to take it one little step at a time, as you said GeordieBorn. Also thank you for sharing your experience with me.


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## truthseeker31 (Jan 11, 2021)

Ytamer said:


> Thank you both for the replies! I really do appreciate you taking time to post on this thread. I think, NickZ, you're right. The winter and Covid is making us feel a bit isolated, and I have struggled talking about the whole situation with people around me as they all seem confused on why we took the decision we did and they don't really understand how Brexit has deeply affected us. There are great things in Italy that I admire and there are things about England that I miss (our house, my old job...) and I guess I just need to take it one little step at a time, as you said GeordieBorn. Also thank you for sharing your experience with me.


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## truthseeker31 (Jan 11, 2021)

Hey Ytamer, this may seem unrelated, but I was wondering if there were any news outlets in Italy that you would support? I just joined this community. I want to find out what is going on in other countries. I really do not trust news sources anymore, especially, here in America. As I am sure, you have heard. It is getting worse, and my goal is to seek the truth. Do you have any suggestions? Like, you would not believe this, but recently (like Saturday recent) there was circulating the Pope's arrest in Italy with links to child porn. Where is the truth? I want to find it.


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## truthseeker31 (Jan 11, 2021)

Also, I read your post above and I am so sorry you have had to leave your home... I cannot imagine what that is like. That genuinely makes me sad. Are you all okay right now? And I hope this is not too ignorant of me, but why did you have to leave the UK when they decided to leave the EU? Was it because you were not a citizen?


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