# Help! My Employer is flirting..



## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Hello everyone,

i really need ur advice on this.. i was in dubai 2 weeks ago, and i had an interivew with a company there and they gave me a job offer, everything seemed professional, and the CEO who interviewed me seemed professional too.

i came back to egypt resigned from my job, sent the required documents and the visa is under processing at the moment... but the bad news is that the CEO out of nowhere sent me an sms last night saying that he will be travelling for the weekend and if i'de like to join ( i am a female) and when i said no, he replied back with a weird sms saying good luck finding a good job! and in the morning he sent sorry there was a misunderstanding we are still on to hire u!

what am i supposed to do now? do you think its a good idea to go and search for a new job once i arrive? the company is in a free zone area.. im so devastated


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## NotSure (May 1, 2012)

That's so unprofessinal from the company itself.. Well who knows what you'll expect from him once you join them..! Difficult situation, especially that you've resigned from your job..!

But don't forget that he apologised to you, meaning that he was sorry for his action.. I would say go for the job and if it happens again.. then look for another.. Good luck..


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## Gavtek (Aug 23, 2009)

Whatever you decide to do, keep the SMS's as evidence.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

thanks everyone for the quick reply!

it is indeed a difficult situation, specially that hes the owner of the company! it is btw a recruitment agency with offices all around the gcc and it is quite known! plus he didnt apologize he just said there was a misunderstanding and that he still wants to hire me, i think he is worried that i harm him one way or another specially that i have the sms's and that i have contacts of many people in the company.

lets say i take the risk and go, is it better to look for a another job quickly before i do my residency visa or it doesnt make a difference?


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

I recommend looking for something else as soon as possible. He might just make your life a living hell once your residence visa is done. If it were a multinational company, things could've been different as you could've just run to HR. Here though, he is the owner so ultimate decision will lie with him.

Do you think he sent you the sms by mistake? Is that what the misunderstanding could've been? It's a little odd and quite disturbing that he would just assume you'd be ok going away for the weekend with him. Is he hot at least? Or some 65 year old with a pot belly?


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

how long can i stay in dubai with the employment visa before i need to apply for the resident visa? 

and unfortunately he didnt send it by mistake he knew it was me, and hes in his 50's and not hot at all , and im 27 so its quite disturbing! the only thing i could think of is that he was drunk!


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Here's what I would do, doesn't mean that I think that you should do it too but just giving you an idea to think about......

Do not take the job and look for something else because as long as you work for this company, you will be constantly looking over your shoulders. Also, things might change for the worse the minute you land in Dubai. So don't bother stepping foot into that company. Now, you do need to be professional and offer them a valid reason as to why you are not taking up employment. So, in a very professional manner, thank them for their offer but let them know that you have decided not to pursue this opportunity as you feel that the CEO crossed the line by sending you suggestive texts and then threatening you about finding another job. Make sure you put this in writing and as Gav has suggested already, save those messages. 

At the end of the day, you need to protect yourself and ensure that your reputation as a professional is not tarnished. Dubai is a small city and people gossip a lot out here. So image and reputation is very important.


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

But you replied NO, and so you kind of set the boundaries....Maybe he thinks that you are really good at your job and did not hire you because of how you look. Company is in a freezone, so you could move easily if you want?


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

I would say boot up and take the job and make up for your loss! One thing I know for sure of this country is it does not take indecency to women lightly. If anything like this happens within the company premises or outside even but related to your company, you can definitely contact the authorities and sue the company for misconduct.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

AK47 said:


> But you replied NO, and so you kind of set the boundaries....Maybe he thinks that you are really good at your job and did not hire you because of how you look. Company is in a freezone, so you could move easily if you want?


Quite honestly AK47, she should not have even been put in that situation to say No. That is sexual harassment, plain and simple. For him to follow that with a threat that she might not find a job elsewhere, makes it even worse. So it doesn't matter if she set the boundaries by saying No, the CEO should not have contacted her with a suggestive text in the first place. 



creative4art said:


> I would say boot up and take the job and make up for your loss! One thing I know for sure of this country is it does not take indecency to women lightly. If anything like this happens within the company premises or outside even but related to your company, you can definitely contact the authorities and sue the company for misconduct.


There are no rules protecting a woman in a work place in Dubai. She's a 20 something expat from Egypt, he is the CEO of a very well known company within the GCC. If this goes to court, he can afford a better lawyer and he will win. She's the new girl in town and he owns the company, I highly doubt anyone will back her up because they all want to protect their own jobs. It's not worth the risk.

I feel bad for you Daliam, glad I'm not in your situation. Good luck with whatever you decide!


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

@pamela0810, i know that this is the right thing to do but my situation is very complicated because if i said no it means im gonna have to explain this to my family here in Egypt and ofcorse they will be over protective and wont let me go to dubai again even for another company, so i my only options are either to forget about dubai or do like AK46 and creative4art suggested and go and switch jobs asap, even if he never showed any bad intentions again


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## deniz (Nov 11, 2009)

Daliam said:


> @pamela0810, i know that this is the right thing to do but my situation is very complicated because if i said no it means im gonna have to explain this to my family here in Egypt and ofcorse they will be over protective and wont let me go to dubai again even for another company, so i my only options are either to forget about dubai or do like AK46 and creative4art suggested and go and switch jobs asap, even if he never showed any bad intentions again


It's a tough situation. Good luck.. And save all correspondence..


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Daliam said:


> @pamela0810, i know that this is the right thing to do but my situation is very complicated because if i said no it means im gonna have to explain this to my family here in Egypt and ofcorse they will be over protective and wont let me go to dubai again even for another company, so i my only options are either to forget about dubai or do like AK46 and creative4art suggested and go and switch jobs asap, even if he never showed any bad intentions again


Good luck Daliam . Hope things work out in your favour!


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Thank you


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

It should be fine! Be strong and think positive. The rest will be great! 

All the best with your new start in Dubai!


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Can someone please tell me if I go to Dubai with the employment visa they send me, how long can I stay there without having to apply for a resident visa?


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## deniz (Nov 11, 2009)

Daliam said:


> @pamela0810, i know that this is the right thing to do but my situation is very complicated because if i said no it means im gonna have to explain this to my family here in Egypt and ofcorse they will be over protective and wont let me go to dubai again even for another company, so i my only options are either to forget about dubai or do like AK46 and creative4art suggested and go and switch jobs asap, even if he never showed any bad intentions again


I would recommend starting your job search even from now. Start sending out your resume to recruiters. Even if you end up going to Dubai for this job, you should find another job as soon as possible and get out. The guy would only escalate his actions..


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## rsinner (Feb 3, 2009)

Daliam said:


> Can someone please tell me if I go to Dubai with the employment visa they send me, how long can I stay there without having to apply for a resident visa?


There is no separate employment and resident visa if you are employed.
If they have already initiated the visa process for you (they would have taken your attested educational certificate), then you would get a piece of paper entitling you to visit UAE and get the employment visa processed within 60 days of entry. You need to then undergo a medical test and then the visa gets stamped on your passport.

Alternatively, what a number of companies do is to get you into UAE on a visit visa and then initiate your visa process. Then you undergo the medical test and then the visa gets stamped on your passport.


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

Daliam said:


> Can someone please tell me if I go to Dubai with the employment visa they send me, how long can I stay there without having to apply for a resident visa?


Employment Entry visa can be 30 days, 60 days or 90 days. Depends on the one they apply for you. 
After expiry, you have 10 day grace after which you will be charged AED 200/day.


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

rsinner said:


> There is no separate employment and resident visa if you are employed.
> If they have already initiated the visa process for you (they would have taken your attested educational certificate), then you would get a piece of paper entitling you to visit UAE and get the employment visa processed within 60 days of entry.


For Free Zones, the terms are a bit confusing. "Employment visa" is referred to as the 30 or 60 day pink slip or "Entry Visa". Once you get that, you will be able to go for the Medical and Resident visa processing. 

However only after you get the Resident visa done, you can switch to another company. By then, you will have a good idea of whether you have to continue with the company or not.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

im just thinking to go to UAE with the employment piece of paper they will send me, and then within the 60 days u mentioned i can find another job, better than proceeding with the medical test and having my visa stamped on passport under this company sponsorship.

i am already applying to other jobs and i have some friends helping me out, i just cant go with another visit visa now, thats y i have to wait for their employment visa


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

@creative4art it is a free zone company, so ur saying that I cannot switch to another company unless I proceed with the medical test and get my visa stamped on my passport? What if I find something before that? Sorry I'm asking too any questions I just wanna make sure I understand everything


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

Hmmm... Any way you look at it, you will have to come to Dubai under the Employment Visa, and once you are here, you will probably have to attend the job that sponsored the visa. If not, they can stop the visa processing at any time too (probably making the entry employment visa invalid). In the meantime, it will give you a better idea of how the situation is and if you have to react to the situation. 

From what you have mentioned, if it were only those 2 messages, my honest opinion is to give "the company" another chance. The CEO is not the company. 

That message could have gone in any direction... but it did not. It stopped at only 2.


Regarding your next post... I would assume so. The Employment visa clearly states the Company the visa is sponsored by. You cannot use this Employment visa for any other company. You will have to do the entire process again (another employment visa from the new company, etc etc ...).


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Thank you so much ur answer has been very useful , I still have one week to think about it and who knows he migh send another SMS or something so if he did then it's definitely a no


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

Well if he is "<substitute appropriate word here>" enough to do the same thing twice (knowing all the consequences and implications) ... then he really must be a looser for sure 

All the best in your new career path!


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

He tried it, to see what would happen.... In my opinion, if he tried, he will continue to try. He tried to see if you were would go for it. The elephant in the room is that arabs have low opinions of egyptians. He will try again, as in his mind, he has already placed you in the 'that kind of woman' category. You are going to have to be harsh. Do not be nice in any way. He will not understand being nice and respectable response back, imo. Be rude. 

We do not know your situation. I do know that coming to dubai for many egyptians is a lifesaver for those back home. If you are in a position that is difficult to get offered another job, and feel you must take it, then do so. But be cautious. 

I would wish for you that you just did not have to take it, and save yourself this headache.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Since the letters C and X are next to each other on the keyboard, the CEO probably confused seCretary for seXetary


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

i never heard that arabs have low opinions id egyptians, they can easily find the golddigger type of girls from other nationalities


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Sad to say that, here, Egyptians, Algerians, etc tend to be discriminated against, but that's not why I am posting. My concern is two-fold. You say you are joining a recruitment agency. Watch out for non-competitive clauses in your contract. This could stop you switching companies. Secondly, to leave the company and join the same kind of company here, the second company will, for sure, ask you questions. As has already been mentioned on here, Dubai is small. On the other hand, this could go in your favour and the CEO already has a reputation here. As has already been said, be careful. He won't give up because he will now see you as a challenge. And yes, there is no doubt he was drinking when he sent the first two text messages. I have to say I don't envy your dilemma. As much as you may not want to reject the offer, I think you should. Tell your parents the company withdrew the offer because they are having some difficulties. Make something up. Better to be safe than sorry.


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

It isnt that they think egyptians are gold diggers, just most gcc arabs just have a low opinion of egyptians. There are many reasons. You can read up on it to understand, or when you come you will come to know. I am not saying is right, but is the way of gcc people overall. You will find some not like this, but most will be. My guess is your boss is like this. Those who maybe studied before the demise of the education system in Egypt, like from the 60 or 70s, may think favorably on egypt. But the younger gcc arabs have sometimes too much bad words about egyptians.


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## lxinuk (Mar 18, 2012)

I think it totally depends on your inner strength and personality. Having worked in Asia for 8 years I've dealt with a lot of discrimination - running away from it doesn't make you feel any better nor does it help the next poor girl. Me - I'd take the job, keep evidence, take as much money and over time as I could, keep myself safe by not being in vulnerable positions, show him I'm damn good at my job, not interested in an older man, find myself a good man and flaunt it in his face. Discrimination exists the sooner you learn how to use it - the stronger and better you'll be! You've said no, he said it was a misunderstanding, you could clear the air with an email, but you could let it lie. Again everyone is different I'd be flattered and then take him for every Dh I could! At least you have heads up before you go and not when you are there, lonely and vulnerable xx


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

lxinuk said:


> I, take as much money and over time as I could, keep myself safe by not being in vulnerable positions, show him I'm damn good at my job, not interested in an older man, find myself a good man and flaunt it in his face. x


to be honest i dont think the above would work in the OP's case. 

And its definitely not a misunderstanding, he was making his intentions known indirectly, and of course as it didnt work out he claims its a misunderstanding.

There are thousands of companies in Dubai, i dont think this firm offers anything unique or an extraordinary package, that she wouldnt find elsewhere


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

I'm very grateful to be listening to different opinions, I'm still very hesitant , @ixinux I agree with u that I shouldnt run away from this but there's no way I'm gonna have a long term plan with this company, I'm only thinking of using him for one or 2 month and look for a new job while avoiding him as Much as possible


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## lxinuk (Mar 18, 2012)

Daliam said:


> I'm very grateful to be listening to different opinions, I'm still very hesitant , @ixinux I agree with u that I shouldnt run away from this but there's no way I'm gonna have a long term plan with this company, I'm only thinking of using him for one or 2 month and look for a new job while avoiding him as Much as possible


There you go then, you have your answer! Good luck


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

Why dont you just shag him and negotiate a pay rise?


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

@toon I hope ur joking


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Daliam said:


> @toon I hope ur joking


 It may not be an appropriate way of dealing with this situation, but sadly, I dont think he was joking. Many a girl has used her "charms" to get on in the world. For some its not a problem! But dont be offended by Toons comment, put it down to his upbringing!!!

Jo xxxx


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Well obviously I'm not that kind of girls who use their charm to get what they want, if that was the case then I wouldn't have been posting this thread and god knows the dilemma I'm facing at the moment


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Daliam said:


> Well obviously I'm not that kind of girls who use their charm to get what they want, if that was the case then I wouldn't have been posting this thread and god knows the dilemma I'm facing at the moment


 I understand and agree with you

jo xxxx


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## samroo (Apr 28, 2011)

Hi their,
i think you should come over and start the job and start looking for a job once you are in dubai.

To be honest if his intention was no good he could have turned you down when he knew that you were not going to join him for his so called trip.hence you are not that type of girl.

what post did you apply for by the way ?

regards.


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

If you take the job I suggest you wear the hijab is you don't already, put an engagement ring on your finger and when asked what you are doing at the weekend say your parents and boyfriends family are visiting,


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

@simoo I sent u private msg with more details
@maidenscotland I'm not wearing hijab and I'm not gonna wear it just for him! The ring idea is not bad


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

This all sounds good only if the OP can change her job whenever she wants. Any chance of a ban would not make it worthwhile joining this company..


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

In free zone area there r no restrictions, can anyone confirm plz


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Believe is a free zone, so shouldnt be an issue for her to change her visa...


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

It depends on the company. If you gonna work for a company like IBM, I would not worry. If you gonna work for a small company where he is the only boss and he basically owns the place, then bad luck. 

What you gonna do if the CEO ends up in front of your door in the middle of the night and pushing his way in? If he lost his mind once, he might loose his mind again and again. 

And I am not sure, but you could even get in trouble with the police for improper womanly conduct if he wrongly accuses you that you are trying to seduce him. He could even blackmail you in one way or another to get what he wants.


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

blue_moon said:


> What you gonna do if the CEO ends up in front of your door in the middle of the night and pushing his way in? If he lost his mind once, he might loose his mind again and again.
> 
> And I am not sure, but you could even get in trouble with the police for improper womanly conduct if he wrongly accuses you that you are trying to seduce him. He could even blackmail you in one way or another to get what he wants.


While the first part is unlikely to happen, a person falsely accused may find it difficult to get out of a sticky situation.
As we see with some "middle finger" cases, all it takes is one malicious person to say one lie, and then all the onus is on the innocent victim to prove he/she is innocent.
And if you are up against a CEO, no other staff will likely give testimony against him...
I will say your advice is the best where if its a large company with many divisions and a proper HR, it may be worth taking a shot.
If its a small company with a CEO with a "king of my castle" mentality, then its not worth it.


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## nekha123 (May 9, 2012)

difficult situation. Good thing he has apologized. Had I been in your position, I would try this job and be safe always. No regrets of resigning your previous job. Everything is for good!


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

nekha123 said:


> difficult situation. Good thing he has apologized. Had I been in your position, I would try this job and be safe always. No regrets of resigning your previous job. Everything is for good!


You're not really from the USofA, are you?


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## nekha123 (May 9, 2012)

pamela0810 said:


> You're not really from the USofA, are you?


why do you ask so? my name? my english?


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

nekha123 said:


> why do you ask so? my name? my english?


its off topic... don't even bother answering that


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

Daliam said:


> @simoo I sent u private msg with more details
> @maidenscotland I'm not wearing hijab and I'm not gonna wear it just for him! The ring idea is not bad





Play the devout card... make sure you take time out to pray even if all you do is buff your nails.. after all he wont know your not praying,


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## nekha123 (May 9, 2012)

pamela0810 said:


> You're not really from the USofA, are you?


oh i got it. I should've changed that originally from usa logo. I'm a newbie here and don't really know how to go about it. Thanks btw. Racism everywhere made me to act like a mad


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

nekha123 said:


> Racism everywhere made me to act like a mad


I would have reacted the same!


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## nekha123 (May 9, 2012)

> I would have reacted the same!


Thanks for that


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

So What has the OP decided, are you coming, staying going? What have you decided?


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

I don't understand why people are so narrow minded. 
Why do you guys take the boss invitation as negative.? In western countries you can have a meeting with the boss anywhere even in nightclub and pubs. Some of my female yet respectful friends have met their bosses in a pub in London and got a job in large firms. 

To survive in today's climate and specially in Dubai, you need to play cat and mouse. Otherwise you'll be used big time and won't survive. 

I would suggested that you should've accepted boss' offer and met him in a coffee shop or somewhere well known. He might have had something interesting to tell you. 

Second thing and most important.
You should ask yourself, why did he recruit you? Couldn't he find hundreds of other professional females in Dubai? 

Finding a good job in Dubai is never easier, transferring to another job will require a noc document from your previous company. 

Not telling your parents is a big mistake. You seem to run away for money and forgetting who you are. Complex personality. 


Sorry to be harsh but advice is from heart. ;-)


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## IQ2012 (Feb 14, 2012)

*Think it over*



AK47 said:


> So What has the OP decided, are you coming, staying going? What have you decided?


Have read the posts with a feeling of dread 

Can totally understand the position of having resigned and feeling that the OP has no option but to take the job

But alarm bells are ringing 

One: she hasn't told her family what is going on? why is that? For obvious reasons they would advise her not to go. Yes they are protective but that is what family is for

Two: the sleaze bucket tried it on, got rejected and then threatened the OP. And we think he won't do something in future just cos OP will be rude, wearing a hijab, wedding ring etc

Remember she is here on her own, hasn't told her family and is in position where there is no guarantee of moving to a new job atleast not quickly

OP: my advice: be safe not sorry. Jobs come and go but your physical and mental safety can't be taken for granted

Inshallah whatever happens hope it is for the best for you

:cheer2:


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

bluebird77 said:


> I don't understand why people are so narrow minded.
> Why do you guys take the boss invitation as negative.? *In western countries you can have a meeting with the boss anywhere even in nightclub and pubs*. - Those kinds of bosses are called something else honey!  Some of my female yet respectful friends have met their bosses in a pub in London and got a job in large firms.
> 
> To survive in today's climate and specially in Dubai, you need to play cat and mouse. Otherwise you'll be used big time and won't survive. - So going away with the big boss before you even start working for the company is what is recommended these days to survive?COLOR]
> ...




You actually come across as someone who thinks it is ok to cross the line of professionalism to get ahead. There are plenty of women like you in Dubai. Just because the OP chooses not to be one of them, doesn't mean that she or anyone else is being narrow minded. I've already commented in red above. You made me laugh with your thoughts 

IQ2012 is correct - better safe than sorry!


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

bluebird77 said:


> I don't understand why people are so narrow minded.
> *Why do you guys take the boss invitation as negative*.? *In western countries *you can have a meeting with the boss anywhere even in nightclub and pubs. Some of my female yet respectful friends have met their bosses in a pub in London and got a job in large firms.
> 
> 
> ...


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

Daliam said:


> that the CEO out of nowhere sent me an sms last night saying that he will be travelling for the weekend and if i'de like to join ( i am a female) and when i said no, he replied back with a weird sms saying good luck finding a good job! and in the morning he sent sorry there was a misunderstanding we are still on to hire u!



I am sorry i glossed over the whole thing, now that i read the whole thing again, i will go ahead and make some strong assumptions ;
feel free to consider my assumptions exagerrated, but i cant help post given that it looks like a very logical chain of events from the guys perspective:


Its a night, when men generally are more 'ambitious" so to say, so he sends a sms just trying his luck
When the OP declines, he is shocked and even slightly enraged as he predicted she would agree, there goes the chance of what he thought would be a great time; he replies hinting that if someone like her wouldnt offer such "perks", she shouldnt expect good jobs....he thinks his response is very muted and controlled.

Lets not speculate on what he does next 

Its morning now: the time of day when many a man comes to his senses : what seemed a muted response last night feels unprofessional now: he thinks he should be professional, hence the apology, reference to "misunderstanding " (yea right!), and promise to still hire her, 

He is now thinking with his brains (as opposed to something else), and thinks "she is a good candidate, why should i not hire her just for refusing an indirect advance"

So all said, the main risk comes from the fact that such a person may or may not try something else in the future.


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

I didn't advise to meet him in nightclub. But at least be positive. 
He won't bite. She could've asked him to meet somewhere else instead and find out what he really meant. THIS IS WHAT I CALL A PROFESSIONALISM. 

By simply saying a big fat NO will limit your boundaries.


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

This poor girl is new in the market. Running from both her parents and the BOSS.. lol
Where would she go?


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Is this a local?


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Jynxgirl said:


> Is this a local?


What's local !?


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## KiaTT (May 21, 2012)

where is your employer from? 
and is this a well known and respected firm you are going to work for? is it a small local firm where this guy has all the power ?
If this is a large firm then chances are he will suck it up and not make any more advances towards you -


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

bluebird77 said:


> What's local !?


The Boss of the company....Is he Local....


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

AK47 said:


> The Boss of the company....Is he Local....


It doesn't really matter. 
She should've approached him in a professional manner at first.

She put herself in big trouble.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

So....Daliam, Jynxgirl and Bluebird77 walk into a bar:

Daliam: Astaghfirullah!!  My CEO has just sent me an SMS
Jynxy and Bluebird: What does it say?
Daliam: It says "Yo baby. I'm a Big Fat CEO and I'm going away for the weekend. Do you want to join me in my king size bed at a big 5 star hotel all expenses paid for by the company as it will be an official visit for a second interview? *wink wink*?"
Jynxy: OMG!  Everyone in Dubai knows that you Egyptians have such a bad reputation! I feel so bad for you. This would NEVER happen in America! I hate Dubai!
Daliam: Why do you say that we Egyptians have a bad reputation?
Jynxgirl: Because I'm western and we are allowed to make random generalizations about all other nationalities? 
Bluebird: Daliam, what did you reply?
Daliam: I told him "Oh Hell NO Mr. CEO! There is no way I'm going to sleep with you today, tomorrow or at least in the near foreseeable future!"
Bluebird: WHAT?  WTF! Why don't you just meet him for a coffee at least? This is so unprofessional. You should go see him for a coffee and listen to what he has to say even though you are currently in Egypt and he is in Dubai. Go get on a plane right now and meet with him for a coffee. Doesn't matter that he asked you away for the weekend. Be professional and don't say NO!
Jynxgirl: Is he local?
Bluebird: What's local?!

Jynxgirl "Hello face, meet my palm!"

Disclaimer: This is all meant in good humour. Jynxy knows I love her to bits. Daliam and Bluebird...no offence


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Someone advised her to put a ring to look like she is engaged. lol. Boss is not stupid. 
Someone advise to stick L plate at the back and wear G string with fluffy rabbit tail lol. 

😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😜😜😜😜😜😜😝😝😝😝😝😝😝😝


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

You dont know about local??? But you are giving advice to this girl???? 

Local is emirati. 

I would of cursed his family and told him my go to line when a local or gcc arab tries something... "If a man did this w your mother or sister, would you not chase him down and beat him??? So why you think is ok to do to me? Because am western woman and you think loose morals? No!!!! You give yoUr family name the black eye!" And that is usually all it takes. But that type of arab most likely thinks like most gcc arabs that woman are toys to play with. Best to steer clear if you are a woman. They will act like sheep but really wolf.... This man doesnt respect this woman at all, and will most likely do it again unless she presents herself extremely respectable way, meaning in very religious, family orientated way. I have lots of arab friends, but i probly speak to 100 douche arab men to find a semi decent one. Even then, is hard for them to throw out how they were raised and taught, because they happened to study in a western country for four to six years....


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

pamela0810 said:



> So....Daliam, Jynxgirl and Bluebird77 walk into a bar:
> 
> Daliam: Astaghfirullah!!  My CEO has just sent me an SMS
> Jynxy and Bluebird: What does it say?
> ...


LMAO looooooool

Who's gonna issue a visa ? Uncle Muhammad.


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

Pamela you have too much time


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

pamela0810 said:


> So....Daliam, Jynxgirl and Bluebird77 walk into a bar:
> 
> Daliam: Astaghfirullah!!  My CEO has just sent me an SMS
> Jynxy and Bluebird: What does it say?
> ...


You guys are so upset. lol 
The best quote for you to say it to the boss:

THE BEST THING TO COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS MY FIST. ;-)


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Sovvy I don't promote violence.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Hello Everyone,

thanks for all the posts, i still dont know what to do im even more confused now some of u say i should go give it a shot and ohers say not to take the risk.. let me clarify some points here it might help u give me better advice:

1- im not running away from my family and defintley not running for money, i just want to try and live in a different country and iv been in dubai alot and i like it,and since egypt now is not the best place to live in i have decided to travel.. my parents know for sure but i just didnt tell them about what the ceo did.

2-its not a big firm , but there are around 50 others employees and 2 of them at least r egyptians girls who iv met there.

3- the CEO is from bahrain

4- i wont be totally alone in dubai, i have a cousin there who im gonna stay with and her husband for at least one month before i get an apartment which i might extend in that case

5-my interview with the CEO was very professional and i even had an initial interview here in Egypt before i have the 2nd one in Dubai, i have good experience iv been working for the past 7 years so i hope hes not only hiring me for looks!

so what do u think?


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

Daliam said:


> Hello Everyone,
> experience iv been working for the past 7 years so i hope hes not only hiring me for looks!
> 
> so what do u think?


That depends on how you look ?


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

AK47 said:


> That depends on how you look ?


You might have worked 7 years. But girls in Dubai have more experience and fluent in many languages. they have the charm and the mouth to talk 24hrs nonstop. 

Easier for employer to get one from Dubai. 
Why from Egypt ?????????

Im not trying to put you off, you have rights to seek a better life. 
But it's best to be open minded. And don't limit your chances.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

hes not paying me extra money to bring me from egypt, so why not? but u have a point .. its very complicated


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## Kawasutra (May 2, 2011)

Daliam said:


> Hello Everyone,
> 
> thanks for all the posts, i still dont know what to do im even more confused now some of u say i should go give it a shot and ohers say not to take the risk.. let me clarify some points here it might help u give me better advice:
> 
> ...



It seems that you are desperate and trying to convince yourself by covering the negative points with good ones.

My advice: Forget about this company, it can only get worse!


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

Daliam said:


> i have good experience iv been working for the past 7 years


Didnt you get any other offers? If you do, then take it even if the salary is a bit less, so you get to work in Dubai and not have to deal with a complicated CEO


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

no i didnt get any other offers but i had other interviews i didnt go to bcz i thought i wont need to since i liked this job :S


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## IQ2012 (Feb 14, 2012)

*Gut instincts*



Kawasutra said:


> It seems that you are desperate and trying to convince yourself by covering the negative points with good ones.
> 
> My advice: Forget about this company, it can only get worse!


Totally agree with Kawasutra. OP you know in your hearts of heart that this isn't a good situation. Heck, the fact you have posted it on this forum means that you have doubts.

Don't ignore your gut instinct, it's there for a reason.

You have experience in your field, if not this job then there will be another. Somewhere you don't have to look over your shoulder waiting for the next sleazy SMS or 'offer' that comes your way

Don't sell yourself short :boxing:


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

Maybe the Bahraini guy likes to hire girls from Egypt because they usually don't wear a hijab or an abaya ;-) Or maybe he considered you are flirting with him, because you did not come to the interview in a hijab and maybe he misunderstood the signs in the way you touched your hair. 

In any case having a sister or a cousin where you can live is good  He can certainly not knock on your door in the middle of the night when your cousin is there  Speak to your cousin about this however to get family support and if you have no job at all it is better to try with this company and if your experience is bad you can always quit and stay with your cousin for a bit.

I also have to say, from a man perspective, that imagine a man who devotes his life to his jobs and works 16 hours a day, how shall he ever meet the significant other? In particular if he does not like to go to discos given his awkward dance moves and progressed age and is living abroad? He might think maybe one day he meets a nice girl at work, not uncommon to get to know a husband or wife at work.


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

This conversation can go from one extreme to the other and blow the entire thing out of proportion than it really is. 

At the end of the day, your confusion isn't going to get any better until you yourself see the situation for what it really is. All the rest are just assumptions of the worst case scenario. 

Relax and get on a plane. Everything will be fine.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

im 27 and he is in his late 50's or 60 so im sure hes not looking for his significant other , plus he was putting his childrens pictures allover his desk !! anyways theres no excuse for what he did and i still dont understand why he did it


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

Daliam said:


> no i didnt get any other offers but i had other interviews i didnt go to bcz i thought i wont need to since i liked this job :S


Look, if you like the job and if it will be a progress to your career then take it. Maybe this was a misunderstanding, you said no, and it never happened again since, is that correct. Maybe that is the end of it.

You have your cousin in Dubai, which is great, because if you run into any troubles you have someone to speak to and some place to live. If this ever happens again, you can quit the job immediately and if not you have great job.

The fact that you like the job and that your cousin lives there to support you in case of any unlikely trouble, makes it sound for me like you can go on and take the job and see how the situation develops.


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## rsinner (Feb 3, 2009)

I do not think it will be a dangerous situation or a situation with legal implications (because you have the SMSs; helps that you also have family here), but definitely be prepared for some harassment and mental tension. Also, it helps that it will be a 50 person company.
All the best with whatever you decide!


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

Daliam said:


> im 27 and he is in his late 50's or 60 so im sure hes not looking for his significant other , plus he was putting his childrens pictures allover his desk !! anyways theres no excuse for what he did and i still dont understand why he did it


Do you really not know what some men think like ? 


Making you a S O is the last thing on their mind, I am not saying it in this case but there are many a well-off 50 yr old who never minds a bit of "fun" with a younger girl

Even if thats the case, its perfectly possible he is a happy family man, and doesnt mean any harm: just wants to have a good time, not realizing that it is very inappropriate.


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Daliam said:


> im 27 and he is in his late 50's or 60 so im sure hes not looking for his significant other , plus he was putting his childrens pictures allover his desk !! anyways theres no excuse for what he did and i still dont understand why he did it


Are you sure the SMS is from him. ??? 
May be a colleague or another person who wants your position might have played around with your emotions. ???

Call him and say you received SMS from Someone who was unpleasant. See what he says. I'm sure you'll be on the right track. 

Not to worry and be brave. ;-) 
All forum is with you.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

he sent the msg 2 days ago, so theres not enough time to say if its the end anyways i still have till end of month to think about it and see if he send anything again


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

Tropicana said:


> Do you really not know what some men think like ?
> 
> 
> Making you a S O is the last thing on their mind, I am not saying it in this case but there are many a well-off 50 yr old who never minds a bit of "fun" with a younger girl


Time to face the reality: (1) this seems to apply to all men, not just well-off 50 yr old, and (2) the Santa does not exist.


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

Heres my prediction, he wont send anything and will pretend all is fine: the onus is on you as to whether you want to try working in his place , or whether you think the risk that he may try again 2 months from now is not worth it.

If you are confident of getting similar offers soon, forget this offer. Otherwise give it a try and be prepared to change jobs if God forbid he approaches you again, even indirectly.


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

Listing out 50 different interpretations of what the txt message meant is not going to help Daliam. 

If a pilot announces "there is going to be some turbulence along the way" does not mean you will not have a good flight or the plane is going to crash now or every time! 

Find that faith that can keep you going for good and that's all you need. 

The rest is water under the bridge.


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

Tropicana said:


> Heres my prediction, he wont send anything and will pretend all is fine: the onus is on you as to whether you want to try working in his place.


I agree with this prediction. Maybe he feels worse about this situation than you do and will behave extremely professional from now on. Man don't like to be rejected, so for him to risk being rejected again, is unlikely in my view - unless he is nuts. Let's assume it was a one of incident. Indeed, if you had an equally good offer from a different company, you would take the other offer. If you have non, then maybe give it a try. But you can try applying for other jobs, to see if you get a similar or better job.


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Daliam said:


> he sent the msg 2 days ago, so theres not enough time to say if its the end anyways i still have till end of month to think about it and see if he send anything again


Well my advise is to act Smart and not leave it for too long. I'm sure there is a misunderstanding. 
If not, he will make an excuse and cover this matter. 
To clear it early is better than later.


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

creative4art said:


> If a pilot announces "there is going to be some turbulence along the way" does not mean you will not have a good flight or the plane is going to crash now or every time!
> 
> .


Now this analogy is wrong wrt to the OP's case in so many ways that i cant begin


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## creative4art (May 3, 2011)

Tropicana said:


> Now this analogy is wrong wrt to the OP's case in so many ways that i cant begin


Agreed. Maybe I should have been graphic and talk about sexting or things coming out of the mouth as discussed in earlier posts! Seems to be more closely related! NOT!


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

bluebird77 said:


> Are you sure the SMS is from him. ???
> May be a colleague or another person who wants your position might have played around with your emotions. ???
> 
> Call him and say you received SMS from Someone who was unpleasant. See what he says. I'm sure you'll be on the right track.
> ...


Something tells me you are not from Germany..... 

It seems there are few people on here who seem to not understand what sexual harrassment is.


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Jynxgirl said:


> Something tells me you are not from Germany.....
> 
> It seems there are few people on here who seem to not understand what sexual harrassment is.


You are right I'm not from Germany. 
I'm from London. ;-) 
I do understand sexual harassment more than you do I believe. Because I've worked in a related firm. 
One SMS doesn't mean sexual harassment. 
It could be that someone has hacked into his phone which happens these days etc. 

Too much thinking can lead to more complications which has happened in this case.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

As much as I wish that someone hacked his phone but I think it's very unlikely the msg was sent at night


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Daliam said:


> As much as I wish that someone hacked his phone but I think it's very unlikely the msg was sent at night


Well if he wishes to date you then day and night isn't important. You said the guy has a family and pictures on his desk etc, and you are shocked that he might not have done it purposely. Then just call him and find out. Your life depends on this. Things will be much clearer.


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Daliam said:


> As much as I wish that someone hacked his phone but I think it's very unlikely the msg was sent at night


Involve your family, don't be shy telling them, they'll advise you accordingly. Try and make them understand your situation and that how important for you to move abroad. 
Let them call your boss and speak with him in a respectful manner. He will realise that you have a strong background.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Oh no I don't think it's a good idea to let my family talk to him, I'm not a kid!


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## bluebird77 (Apr 10, 2012)

Daliam said:


> Oh no I don't think it's a good idea to let my family talk to him, I'm not a kid!


Your choice. 

I would love to know the end story of this.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Will keep u posted


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

bluebird77 said:


> Involve your family, don't be shy telling them, they'll advise you accordingly. Try and make them understand your situation and that how important for you to move abroad.
> Let them call your boss and speak with him in a respectful manner. He will realise that you have a strong background.




It is hard enough for an Egyptian women to fly the nest when it is not a marriage she is going to, telling her parents will put an end to any thoughts and ambitions of working abroad


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Thanks maidenscontland very well said


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

Daliam said:


> Thanks maidenscontland very well said




Afwan x


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

So Daliam, we're going round in circles here, you going to take the job or not?

As you have a support network around you, I would, just keep an eye on him and never be alone together.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

I still don't have a final answer but Im more likely to go give it a try and look for another job ASAP , I'm currently trying to read more about the free zone labour rules for changing jobs, does anyone has a link or know exactly the rules?


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

Personally I think you should stop procrastinating and do as Nike say...

As for rules, yes there are some, but you really don't want to go down that route, what is the law and what unscrupulous empires (and employees) do are far removed from any law.

PS, I'm in Dubai next week, fancy a date? Lol


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

As far as I know the rules in Dubai r quite strict , and how could u give advice without even living in Dubai


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

Daliam said:


> As far as I know the rules in Dubai r quite strict , and how could u give advice without even living in Dubai


Because I spent six years there, I work throughout the Middle East and will be setting up the UAE branch of my organisation in the New Year. So yes, I know and understand the rules there, probably more than most others on this bored...


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

So Ur advice is to just do it like Nike says?


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

Daliam said:


> So Ur advice is to just do it like Nike says?


As I said, you have the support network. You'll know pretty soon (like within a day) whether it's for you or not. Also, looking outside the box, it's far easier to get a job while you're in the country, rather from the outside looking in. Just do it, give it a few weeks or so, you never know you might actually enjoy the position, if it's not for you, get another role, if you're a good recruiter you must have a great database of people that you can work from.

Now about dinner?


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

@toon u made me laugh indeed that  I think I'm too young for u  I hope ur not him in disguise


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

Daliam said:


> @toon u made me laugh indeed that  I think I'm too young for u  I hope ur not him in disguise


Get out of here, "you're only old as the woman you feel"' as someone (Marx) once said.

Anyway, I'm only 36....


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Toon said:


> Because I spent six years there, I work throughout the Middle East and will be setting up the UAE branch of my organisation in the New Year. So yes, I know and understand the rules there, probably more than most others on this bored...


Well, YOU could offer her a job then, couldn't you?? 

Daliam, the guy is a chancer. It's all about numbers, you 'try' enough numbers, you eventually get lucky. Unfortunately, you will find here that for many people being married makes little difference to their 'social' life. Try really hard to find another job before you accept this one. Also, bear in mind the fact that you still came over when you KNEW there was a possibility of something improper could go against you if things go pear shaped, even if you have the original texts to prove you said no.


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

BedouGirl said:


> Well, YOU could offer her a job then, couldn't you?? 
> 
> Daliam, the guy is a chancer. It's all about numbers, you 'try' enough numbers, you eventually get lucky. Unfortunately, you will find here that for many people being married makes little difference to their 'social' life. Try really hard to find another job before you accept this one. Also, bear in mind the fact that you still came over when you KNEW there was a possibility of something improper could go against you if things go pear shaped, even if you have the original texts to prove you said no.


I could, but I'd have to take her on a, ahem, "Business trip" first....

And anyway, I won't be recruiting until new year.


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Toon said:


> I could, but I'd have to take her on a, ahem, "Business trip" first....
> 
> And anyway, I won't be recruiting until new year.


Perhaps she might wait for you 


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

@bedougirl I'm defintley trying my best but it's not easy in a week time..
@toon I'm waiting for an offer it's only 6 months I can wait  I wonder what field r u working in lol


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

BedouGirl said:


> Perhaps she might wait for you 


Oh I'm worth waiting for.....


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

Toon said:


> Oh I'm worth waiting for.....


If your profile photo is anything to go by, DEFINITELY 


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

Daliam said:


> @bedougirl I'm defintley trying my best but it's not easy in a week time..
> @toon I'm waiting for an offer it's only 6 months I can wait  I wonder what field r u working in lol


No fields in Dubai, only desert I'm afraid....


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

BedouGirl said:


> If your profile photo is anything to go by, DEFINITELY 


That's my older, fatter, less handsome brother. Hatem Ben Lardon. He plays for The Toon you know...


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## Canuck_Sens (Nov 16, 2010)

I am not sure whether this can be called Flirting. Did he actually use cheesy words ?

But I do agree that his behaviour about "good luck finding a job"sounded like a revenge when you refused to join him (join in what ? is he new to Egypt and wanted your help? or over drinks ?). 

He cannot deny, though, that the SMS was sent from his phone. You don't hire someone and threat to dismiss after it. I dont know what the labour law says on this.

Well you have no much choice but to start the job, but make some friends here in Dubai and let him know (indirectly) that you are committed (seeing someone) even if you are not. That would discourage him to flirt.

If you feel he is still flirting look for a new job.






Daliam said:


> Hello everyone,
> 
> i really need ur advice on this.. i was in dubai 2 weeks ago, and i had an interivew with a company there and they gave me a job offer, everything seemed professional, and the CEO who interviewed me seemed professional too.
> 
> ...


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

He asked me join him next weekend in beirut not in Egypt so it's clear that he has bad intentions


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

If this boss is such a sleaze bucket, in that he is prepared to sh*g around on his wife, do we really think he will care whether Daliam has a partner or not? If anything, he will probably think it's a good thing, as she would not be interested in pursuing him (not that she would want to anyway). Perhaps I am just more cynical (older ) but, with the exception of a few, most on here seem to be willing give this guy the benefit of the doubt as opposed to the chap who 'featured' in the thread on the job offer for the racing team recently.


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## aman1985 (May 21, 2012)

These days its fully required to comply with the onstruction even if it was against our wishes


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## Canuck_Sens (Nov 16, 2010)

hmmmmmmmm...

What to say ? I am speechless. I hope you can find a better job in the meantime.



Daliam said:


> He asked me join him next weekend in beirut not in Egypt so it's clear that he has bad intentions


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

We are really telling a muslim girl, to go get a bf, and then a gcc local will leave her alone???? 

That just screams that she is exactly what he thought she was... and he will just think she will sleep with anyone. If you will sleep with one man, then why not another. This is the mentality of many. This may be generalizing, but generally, is true....


----------



## hubbly_bubbly (Oct 17, 2010)




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## aman1985 (May 21, 2012)

Jynxgirl said:


> We are really telling a muslim girl, to go get a bf, and then a gcc local will leave her alone????
> 
> That just screams that she is exactly what he thought she was... and he will just think she will sleep with anyone. If you will sleep with one man, then why not another. This is the mentality of many. This may be generalizing, but generally, is true....


I agree with jynxgirl she is right


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## aman1985 (May 21, 2012)

Dears, anybody intersted in friendships here? I am just looking for meeting new people new cultures, i am Male/27/originally from Palestine....


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## Canuck_Sens (Nov 16, 2010)

MEN think alike. She does not need a BF but nothing impedes her to tell a lie that she is committed. It would put some men off. 

I would personally not take the job if I were her, but If I were a single guy and my boss a hot single woman (lots of IFs I know) who happened to SMS me to join her in Beiruth cuz she's bored (everything paid) guess what?

I AM GOING 

But I would call her first to find out DAT it was not a prank 






Jynxgirl said:


> We are really telling a muslim girl, to go get a bf, and then a gcc local will leave her alone????
> 
> That just screams that she is exactly what he thought she was... and he will just think she will sleep with anyone. If you will sleep with one man, then why not another. This is the mentality of many. This may be generalizing, but generally, is true....


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

aman1985 said:


> Dears, anybody intersted in friendships here? I am just looking for meeting new people new cultures, i am Male/27/originally from Palestine....


 
Aman, this isnt the thread to 'meet' people. Look in the sandpit and there is an introduction thread as well as look for the different meet up threads. There is an alcohol free dinner on Friday and of course the weekly thursday night get plastered drunk thing that goes on. The thur thing isnt advertised on here anymore often, you have to go find them on facebook. If you dont have facebook, maybe some kind soul will direct you to where it is happening this week if is your thing.


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## aman1985 (May 21, 2012)

Jynxgirl said:


> Aman, this isnt the thread to 'meet' people. Look in the sandpit and there is an introduction thread as well as look for the different meet up threads. There is an alcohol free dinner on Friday and of course the weekly thursday night get plastered drunk thing that goes on. The thur thing isnt advertised on here anymore often, you have to go find them on facebook. If you dont have facebook, maybe some kind soul will direct you to where it is happening this week if is your thing.


Noted


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

Jynxgirl said:


> We are really telling a muslim girl, to go get a bf, and then a gcc local will leave her alone????
> 
> That just screams that she is exactly what he thought she was... and he will just think she will sleep with anyone. If you will sleep with one man, then why not another. This is the mentality of many. This may be generalizing, but generally, is true....




Is she Muslim? We are just taking it as a given but we do have Christians here in Egypt, not that it matters what your religion is, sexual harrasment is sexual harrassment


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## deniz (Nov 11, 2009)

MaidenScotland said:


> Is she Muslim? We are just taking it as a given but we do have Christians here in Egypt, not that it matters what your religion is, sexual harrasment is sexual harrassment


What difference does it make?


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## hubbly_bubbly (Oct 17, 2010)

Canuck_Sens said:


> MEN think alike. She does not need a BF but nothing impedes her to tell a lie that she is committed. It would put some men off.
> 
> I would personally not take the job if I were her, but If I were a single guy and my boss a hot single woman (lots of IFs I know) who happened to SMS me to join her in Beiruth cuz she's bored (everything paid) guess what?
> 
> ...


 
Canuck,

Jynxy's post was, arguably, a fair observation. Comparatively, your reply was irksome to say the least, if not a little creepy too. 

Not all men think alike. Far from it. (And if that's not what you meant then write more succinctly, clarifying which men.)

What you would do and what the OP's situation actually is, are so far apart from each other that it doesn't even relate as a simple correlation by even a single neuron of actual thought process, let alone by a ill-structured fantasy.

And what does "DAT" and "cuz" mean?

Apologies, if this seems harsh. Your post, in my humble opinion, was just lazy and, I'm afraid, does nothing helpful for the OP’s situation nor for the general attitudes towards "MEN", of which I consider myself to be one.


Good luck with that bored, hot, single, female boss that only wants you for the weekend. Hope it works out.


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

deniz said:


> What difference does it make?




Well if you re read my post you will see that I said it doesn't.


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## deniz (Nov 11, 2009)

MaidenScotland said:


> Well if you re read my post you will see that I said it doesn't.


Exactly. So why did you send the post? 

Anyways, Daliam, in my humble opinion this job is not worth the trouble. Dubai is full of creeps and is hardly a haven for justice. Things may escalate and you may find yourself in very uncomfortable situations. I am sure if you were able to find this job in the first place, you would be able to find another one. I also recommend not sharing too much on a public board as this one as there are all kinds of people )). With the details you have given on the company and the guy, some may be able to guess who he is, if they know of the recruitment industry.

If there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to pm. Good luck..


----------



## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

hubbly_bubbly said:


> Canuck,
> 
> Jynxy's post was, arguably, a fair observation. Comparatively, your reply was irksome to say the least, if not a little creepy too.
> 
> ...


Top post, was considering replying to it myself in similar (but less articulate terms). Unfortunately my steak arrived ( currently in Frankfurt).

Well said.


----------



## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

deniz said:


> Exactly. So why did you send the post?
> 
> Anyways, Daliam, in my humble opinion this job is not worth the trouble. Dubai is full of creeps and is hardly a haven for justice. Things may escalate and you may find yourself in very uncomfortable situations. I am sure if you were able to find this job in the first place, you would be able to find another one. I also recommend not sharing too much on a public board as this one as there are all kinds of people )). With the details you have given on the company and the guy, some may be able to guess who he is, if they know of the recruitment industry.
> 
> If there is anything I can do to help, please feel free to pm. Good luck..



If you re read my post the clues are there.


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## hubbly_bubbly (Oct 17, 2010)

Sah'ten, Toon.


----------



## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

@jynxy have u been to Egypt before? Do u really think Muslim girls don't have bf's and that we all wear hijab and ride camels.. Believe me even girls wearing hijab have bf's and do whatever they want so it doesn't matter if I'm Muslim or Christian or even Egyptian in this situation


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

Daliam said:


> @jynxy have u been to Egypt before? Do u really think Muslim girls don't have bf's and that we all wear hijab and ride camels.. Believe me even girls wearing hijab have bf's and do whatever they want so it doesn't matter if I'm Muslim or Christian or even Egyptian in this situation


I think she is speaking about UAE, not about Egypt, and she certainly been to UAE. Isn't it illegal to have a girlfriend or boyfriend in UAE de jure? And I think it is certainly illegal to do whatever you want with your boyfriend in UAE 

Back to topic, if I understand it correctly, your future boss suggested that you join him for weekend in Beirut but did not flirt with you. Maybe he was having some business meetings there and wanted you to join.

If he would be that kind of flirty man looking to sin, would he not have it easier and cheaper to find some prostitutes in Beirut? Maybe he just wanted talk about business to you, as if he wanted something more he could find that in Beirut.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Haha a wishful thinking, well it's all assumptions but I don't think that's the proper way to say that it's a business trip plus I didn't even start yet !


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

Daliam said:


> Haha a wishful thinking, well it's all assumptions but I don't think that's the proper way to say that it's a business trip plus I didn't even start yet !


Yes, but he never said he wants to touch you, or kiss your neck, or anything like that. He said he wants you to join him for a weekend in Beirut, but he did not say he wants do anything sexual with you. So I think it can not be even considered sexual harassment at this stage. Maybe he wanted to do sightseeing together.

P.S. If I ask a female colleague to have a coffee together during the weekend will she then tell everybody that I am flirting with her? FOREVER ALONE :ranger:


----------



## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Cmon it's totally different! If u know a collegue and u already exchanged numbers it's ok to ask her for coffee or a date and she has the right to say yes or no, but he got my number from my resume and smsed me to join him for the weekend and he's the CEO not a collegue plus we only met twice in a very professional way!


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## Gavtek (Aug 23, 2009)

blue_moon said:


> Yes, but he never said he wants to touch you, or kiss your neck, or anything like that. He said he wants you to join him for a weekend in Beirut, but he did not say he wants do anything sexual with you. So I think it can not be even considered sexual harassment at this stage. Maybe he wanted to do sightseeing together.


You are an idiot.

Moderators, if that breaks any rules, feel free to change the word 'idiot' to something that's more acceptable, but still conveys how much of an idiot this person is.


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

blue_moon said:


> Yes, but he never said he wants to touch you, or kiss your neck, or anything like that. He said he wants you to join him for a weekend in Beirut, but he did not say he wants do anything sexual with you. So I think it can not be even considered sexual harassment at this stage. Maybe he wanted to do sightseeing together.
> 
> P.S. If I ask a female colleague to have a coffee together during the weekend will she then tell everybody that I am flirting with her? FOREVER ALONE :ranger:


What planet are you living on?? The OP was told to look for another job in the morning after she refused the charming invitation to spend a weekend in Beirut. How is that not considered sexual harassment? And at what stage, in your esteemed opinion, would it be considered sexual harassment?


----------



## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Canuck_Sens said:


> MEN think alike. She does not need a BF but nothing impedes her to tell a lie that she is committed. It would put some men off.
> 
> I would personally not take the job if I were her, but If I were a single guy and my boss a hot single woman (lots of IFs I know) who happened to SMS me to join her in Beiruth cuz she's bored (everything paid) guess what?
> 
> ...


Well, I'm sure you are a really special hot guy who gets invited away for weekends in Beirut by many bored, hot single women. But even so......

Wonder if you would feel differently if you were told your job depends on it? But then again, I guess you are that special hot guy that so many bored, hot single women want to take away for the weekend, so you must have lots of choices so not to worry!


----------



## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Gavtek said:


> You are an idiot.
> 
> Moderators, if that breaks any rules, feel free to change the word 'idiot' to something that's more acceptable, but still conveys how much of an idiot this person is.


Agree, but idiot is the mildest word that comes to my mind


----------



## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Canuck_Sens said:


> MEN think alike. She does not need a BF but nothing impedes her to tell a lie that she is committed. It would put some men off.
> 
> I would personally not take the job if I were her, but If I were a single guy and my boss a hot single woman (lots of IFs I know) who happened to SMS me to join her in Beiruth cuz she's bored (everything paid) guess what?
> 
> ...


Idiot #2


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

bluebird77 said:


> It doesn't really matter.
> She should've approached him in a professional manner at first.
> 
> She put herself in big trouble.


She put herself in big trouble? WTF??

...........Nah, don't even know where to start


----------



## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Kawasutra said:


> It seems that you are desperate and trying to convince yourself by covering the negative points with good ones.
> 
> My advice: *Forget about this company, it can only get worse!*


*
*

I agree. If someone tries it once, he'll try it again. The OP will likely be fired for refusing the CEO's generous and kind invitations to go to Beirut for the weekend, then will be left in a very vulnerable position stuck in Dubai without a job


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

Daliam, getting back to your problem...Clearly you have received alot of "forum support" for your case judging from the reply's however you will be and are alone in this dilemma.
Make Istikarah Salaah for Guidance, and than decide for clearly you are confused..if this does not suit you than follow the advice "when in doubt stay without"
Hopefully you will receive Guidance....
see you in Dubai or keep on waving from Egypt...


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Jynxgirl said:


> We are really telling a muslim girl, to go get a bf, and then a gcc local will leave her alone????
> 
> That just screams that she is exactly what he thought she was... and he will just think she will sleep with anyone. If you will sleep with one man, then why not another. This is the mentality of many. This may be generalizing, but generally, is true....


I don't think that sexual harassment has anything to do with a man thinking a woman is "that kind of girl." It's about power and control - as a CEO he is in a position of power and uses that power to decide if he should hire a woman, give her a promotion, etc. The woman is put in the position of either becoming his victim, losing the job prospect, quitting, or getting fired - as this CEO made clear by his sms


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Daliam - this guy has harassed you, and IMO he will try it again. That will leave you in a very vulnerable position. I completely agree with some others who have recommended you not take this job


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## IQ2012 (Feb 14, 2012)

*Lunatics are running the asylum*



Gavtek said:


> You are an idiot.
> 
> Moderators, if that breaks any rules, feel free to change the word 'idiot' to something that's more acceptable, but still conveys how much of an idiot this person is.


Gavtek: couldn't have put it better myself :clap2:

Nola: the planet Blue Moon is living on is clearly not the one you and all other reasoned posters are living on

Blue Moon: unwanted attention is just that: whether it is one or one hundred SMS/calls/emails. It is unwanted, no matter what religion race or creed a person is
The OP didn't ask for it nor should she put up with it, job or no job.

There can be no excuse, no reading between the lines of 'CEO's' behaviour. It is totally unprofessional, khallas!!!!!!

:boxing:


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

nola said:


> [/B]
> 
> I agree. If someone tries it once, he'll try it again. The OP will likely be fired for refusing the CEO's generous and kind invitations to go to Beirut for the weekend, then will be left in a very vulnerable position stuck in Dubai without a job


I don't agree, I think the op should go for it, if he's a leech then she'll soon find out, and take whatever action is needed.

It's easier to find a job while in Dubai than outside, just get networking!


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

IQ2012 said:


> Gavtek: couldn't have put it better myself :clap2:
> 
> Nola: the planet Blue Moon is living on is clearly not the one you and all other reasoned posters are living on
> 
> ...


Exactly

:clap2::clap2::clap2:


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Toon said:


> I don't agree, I think the op should go for it, if he's a leech then she'll soon find out, and take whatever action is needed.
> 
> It's easier to find a job while in Dubai than outside, just get networking!


What action would that be? As others have pointed out, it'll be up to her to prove her innocence - not so easy for a woman in Dubai. If this guys decides he wants revenge when she refuses him, I shudder to think what'll happen. Again, it's about power, and as a Bahraini, he definitely will have power over her as a woman and as an Egyptian. She'll be on the losing end of that one


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

nola said:


> What action would that be? As others have pointed out, it'll be up to her to prove her innocence - not so easy for a woman in Dubai. If this guys decides he wants revenge when she refuses him, I shudder to think what'll happen. Again, it's about power, and as a Bahraini, he definitely will have power over her as a woman and as an Egyptian. She'll be on the losing end of that one


Simple things like not being in a room with just him, keeping a record of everything that may (but probably won't) happen, that sort of stuff.

And nola, you seem to have such a low opinion of the op, is it her sex or race that's the problem?


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Toon said:


> Simple things like not being in a room with just him, keeping a record of everything that may (but probably won't) happen, that sort of stuff.
> 
> And nola, you seem to have such a low opinion of the op, is it her sex or race that's the problem?


 where did I imply I have a low opinion of the OP?


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

nola said:


> What action would that be? As others have pointed out, it'll be up to her to prove her innocence - not so easy for a woman in Dubai. If this guys decides he wants revenge when she refuses him, I shudder to think what'll happen. Again, it's about power, and as a Bahraini, he definitely will have power over her as a woman and as an Egyptian. She'll be on the losing end of that one


The last two sentences here.


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## hubbly_bubbly (Oct 17, 2010)

Toon said:


> And nola, you seem to have such a low opinion of the op, is it her sex or race that's the problem?


:spit: Lol! 

Toon. You'll soon see the light.

Or not.


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Toon said:


> The last two sentences here.


 Sorry, how is this implying I have a low opinion of the OP? Just stating facts here. Please reread my post


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## hubbly_bubbly (Oct 17, 2010)

nola said:


> where did I imply I have a low opinion of the OP?


Nola, welcome back! So happy to see you again.

Don't mind Toon. He's... from "up norf", so to speak.


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

All you no Sayers also imply that the OP will be like a sacrificial lamb heading for the alter, how about giving her the benefit of the doubt, Maybe she's a lot stronger than you may think....


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

Toon said:


> Simple things like not being in a room with just him, ?


gulfnews : Too worried to return: Roxanne Hillier

cant stress how important that is...


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Tropicana said:


> gulfnews : Too worried to return: Roxanne Hillier
> 
> cant stress how important that is...


If this doesn't strike a nerve, then I don't know what will. Quite frankly, I'd rather be secure in my own country with no job but a family to fall back on than watch over my shoulder all the time! Just not worth it.


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

pamela0810 said:


> If this doesn't strike a nerve, then I don't know what will. Quite frankly, I'd rather be secure in my own country with no job but a family to fall back on than watch over my shoulder all the time! Just not worth it.


So knowing what can happen, why are you in Dubai at all then?

Smacks of HUGE hypocrisy.


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Toon said:


> So knowing what can happen, why are you in Dubai at all then?
> 
> Smacks of HUGE hypocrisy.


:boxing:

Oh hush! I am extremely careful with what I do and how I behave in public because I am well aware of the consequences of my actions and......I'm on a family visa living an ordinary Indian life like several other ordinary Indian people in Dubai. We have a way of flying below the radar.


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## Nirvana (Jun 11, 2011)

To OP:

- If the guy did it once, he'll probably do it again. I don't care if he was drunk or not. Even when drunk, we tend to spill the beans on what actually goes into our minds and what we really want. 

- You discovered another trait from his second message: He acts like a "kid" and looks for revenge... displayed in his "good luck finding a new job!" remark.

- He only said "there was a misunderstanding" simply to have a second chance with you. Later on, when he has more control over you.

- Just by accepting the job offer after this sort of behavior, sends a lot of wrong messages into this dude's twisted brain: "haha! she wants it, but is playing hard to get!"....."she is just like all the rest, no matter what she says!".... or "she doesn't like rushes.. so I will move slowly!". However, the same goal exists in his mind.

I don't believe in giving people second chances to judge whether or not they share my same values or have morals. These sorts of things are judged from the first encounter. You are only wasting your time (and probably much more) by giving them the so called "second chance".

If you are gonna accept the job, you should make sure you visit the ******* (sorry mods) in office the first day with a serious look in your face and demand an explanation of that message. Then make it clear to him that you don't want this sort of behavior again. 

If you don't do so, he'll come up with creative ideas attempting that again to test you. Don't be nice when confronting him the first day, but at the same time don't be rude... just be "serious" with a slight anger in your expressions.

This will set him off your back enough for you to SWITCH COMPANIES. Because it is a temporary solution. He'll attempt the same thing but after some time passes OR he'll resort to revenge behind the scenes. So you will have to switch companies.

Don't tell anyone you wanna switch unless when the time comes and you are ready.

Of course, if you have the ability or patience to refuse this job from the start and search for another one instead, then it is much better.

Thanks God I'm a male. Women go through a lot of crap in this messed up world.


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## hubbly_bubbly (Oct 17, 2010)

So, in a nutshell: a sexually agressive Bahraini "high flying" CEO male, young single life-curious Egyptian female employee who has been propositioned even before the job starts. And this is Dubai we are talking about.

It's a no-brainer. Refuse the job. Make a plan B. And C - it has nothing to do with the spiriit or intellect or looks of the OP - it's just common sense. Again, this is Dubai we ae talking about.


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

hubbly_bubbly said:


> Nola, welcome back! So happy to see you again.
> 
> Don't mind Toon. He's... from "up norf", so to speak.


Oh. Guess that explains the language barrier 

And thanks!


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

You guys are taking my comments out of content a certainly you did not read all my earlier post I contributed earlier to this topic. Calling someone idiot based on some out-of-context singled out post: congratulations to your intellectual supremacy.

When I said it can not be considered as sexual harassment, I meant it in a court of law. If you can prove that sex advances occurred it would automatically result in a year's prison term and a Dh10,000 fine, followed by deportation of the expatriate.

Thus, if your case of harassment of sexual nature is so strong, you can get this guy deported in no time. However, if you so brave to call me idiot how many of you think that this text message will result in 1 year prison and deportation of the CEO? 



> *What steps should you take to stop the Harassment prior to filing a criminal complaint?*
> 
> Tell the harasser to stop. Surprisingly often this works. In fact, when confronted directly, harassment is especially likely to end if it is at a fairly low level: jokes, inappropriate comments about your appearance or repeated requests for dates *after you have said no*.
> 
> ...


Source: link, emphasis my own


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## Gavtek (Aug 23, 2009)

blue_moon said:


> congratulations to your intellectual supremacy.


Thank you.


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

blue_moon said:


> You guys are taking my comments out of content a certainly you did not read all my earlier post I contributed earlier to this topic. Calling someone idiot based on some out-of-context singled out post: congratulations to your intellectual supremacy.
> 
> When I said it can not be considered as sexual harassment, I meant it in a court of law. If you can prove that sex advances occurred it would automatically result in a year's prison term and a Dh10,000 fine, followed by deportation of the expatriate.
> 
> ...


You're right - I shouldn't have called you an idiot. Apologies

Your post implied that your opinion is that this was not sexual harassment, not that it wouldn't be considered as such in court. Regardless, it's all well and good to pay lip service and have on paper what will happen if it is proven, but the sad reality is that is very unlikely the OP would be successful in proving anything. the CEO is holding all the cards here


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## IQ2012 (Feb 14, 2012)

*If it walks like a duck......*



blue_moon said:


> You guys are taking my comments out of content a certainly you did not read all my earlier post I contributed earlier to this topic. Calling someone idiot based on some out-of-context singled out post: congratulations to your intellectual supremacy.
> 
> When I said it can not be considered as sexual harassment, I meant it in a court of law. If you can prove that sex advances occurred it would automatically result in a year's prison term and a Dh10,000 fine, followed by deportation of the expatriate.
> 
> ...


Your earlier posts weren't worth commenting upon because you are of the 'give the guy the benefit of doubt' school of thought 

Sexual harrassment is still that whether it is taken to court or not. 

Why subject someone to court action when it can all be prevented by not placing yourself in harms way?

Do you know how hard it is to prove these kinds of allegations: it all comes down to 'he said', 'she thought' 'he meant' type conversations.

The fact that this debate is occuring in this forum shows how subjective this issue is

You talk about getting the guy deported in no time as being so easy and fast. Reality I imagine will be so much different. 

so again: your advice to poster is: come to Dubai, maybe face the possibility your boss will sexually harrass you (maybe he won't but we take worse case scenario), still go to the same job whilst OP tries to find another with no guarantee that she can and then go through the court system to get him deported????


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## INFAMOUS (Apr 19, 2011)

/thread


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

INFAMOUS said:


> /thread


What?


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Guys please put in mind that Iv quit my job here and it's not easy to find anything in Egypt at the moment so what I was saying is that I go for the job just as a gateway and find something else , even if nothing bad happens and the job is amazing I was planning to look for something else anyways because I agree with some of u who said that I shouldn't give him a second chance.

And let's say in few weeks he tries again , I can simply quit and I will have a least 30 days grace period to leave Dubai (that's what I heard) which could be enough time to find a new job .. Better than staying here without a job saying what if ? 

Like toon said it's easier to find a job in Dubai than from outside specially if u do lots of networking

I'm just thinking out loud .. I might be mistaken


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## Guest (May 22, 2012)

Daliam said:


> Guys please put in mind that Iv quit my job here and it's not easy to find anything in Egypt at the moment so what I was saying is that I go for the job just as a gateway and find something else , even if nothing bad happens and the job is amazing I was planning to look for something else anyways because I agree with some of u who said that I shouldn't give him a second chance.
> 
> And let's say in few weeks he tries again , I can simply quit and I will have a least 30 days grace period to leave Dubai (that's what I heard) which could be enough time to find a new job .. Better than staying here without a job saying what if ?
> 
> ...


You are in a difficult position - it's a tough decision for you to make! But I still think you should turn it down for the reasons mentioned in previous posts. IMO, you would be taking a huge risk. If he tries it again, and he will, it may not be so simple as just quitting and trying to find a new job. If he is nasty or vindictive, I truly fear for you.

If you do decide to go ahead, though, then make sure you document everything (sms, conversations, emails, etc).


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Nola what do u think he might do if he tried and I reject him?


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

It depends on how you look


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

What does my looks has to do with his actions!!


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

Maybe you so hot he will not stop or maybe you not but his hot....


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

You are forgetting the facts that (1) she clearly stated she wants the job and that she considers it a good step for her career, (2) as of yet she does not have an alternative offer, thus the best alternative is to be unemployed, (3) her sister with husband is already living in Dubai so she would not be by her own in a foreign country.

So I am ready to give a benefit of doubt the the assumption that the boss will continue to harass her in Dubai. Ok, he likely invited her for a date once and she clearly rejected. Maybe that is the end of it. If it happens again, she can write a polite e-mail saying this is unwelcomed and save the copy. If it does not help, she can quit.

The only downside could be that quitting after 1 week or 1 month might could negatively affect her VISA in Dubai or reputation via other potential employers. In that case, she should reject the offer, and try apply for other jobs in Dubai - I think this was her initial question to the forum? I have no idea about the VISA, but I think that she is asking about this mainly.

I think that the risk that the boss would commit any disgraceful forceful act on her is rather limited. However, it still could happen. I also fear that if he invited her for a weekend in Beirut just like that, it is likely that he already successfully tried this strategy with other girls. Maybe the strategy that the CEO tried on her goes like this: 

CEO: "Come to Beirut".
Applicant: "No, I can't." 
CEO: "Ok, good luck to look for a new job".
Applicant: "Oh :-(. I want this job. I am sorry boss. Of course I will come to Beirut".
CEO: "Good girl, you have the job and maybe a small bonus :-*, I will wait you at Beirut airport tomorrow".

... but it did not quite work out like that, so in the morning he wrote to her that he is sorry and she still has the job. She handled it well in my view, and maybe he will stop with this from now on, the company has 50 employees and a normal man has no intentions to be rejected multiple times.


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## 5herry (Jun 25, 2011)

Having been following this thread for the last couple of days I thought I would pitch in with my 2 fils worth.

The majority of the responses have warned you to stay away from this company & CEO and I'm inclined to agree with them. 

Please take this advice as most of these guys have lived here a while and know the lay of the land / how things are done here. There is no reason why they would want to scare you off.

Also, expecting to be able to find another job in Dubai within 30 days is deluded. I know of many people who have moved over here without a job with the same expectation and they have been badly stung. Unfortunately the roads of Dubai are not paved with gold and in the current climate most companies are firing rather than hiring. 

The decision is ultimately yours and I get the feeling you want to accept and make the move regardless of what has been recommended on here.

If so, wish you good luck with the move and please be safe & careful.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Thank u so much 5herry


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## hubbly_bubbly (Oct 17, 2010)

blue_moon said:


> I think that the risk that the boss would commit any disgraceful forceful act on her is rather limited.
> 
> Maybe the strategy that the CEO tried on her goes like this:
> 
> ...


Of course it didn't. 

The CEO's clandestine desire is blatantly obvious with his duplicitous messaging. 

On which fantasy planet would it have worked, do you think? Seriously.

And... what if the OP was your daughter?


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

blue_moon said:


> She handled it well in my view, and maybe he will stop with this from now on, the company has 50 employees and a normal man has no intentions to be rejected multiple times.


Do you live in dubai, or still in the moving stage?? Seems like not here. Or have any local/gcc arab friends???


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## BedouGirl (Sep 15, 2011)

BedouGirl said:


> Daliam, the guy is a chancer. It's all about numbers, you 'try' enough numbers, you eventually get lucky. Unfortunately, you will find here that for many people being married makes little difference to their 'social' life. Try really hard to find another job before you accept this one. Also, bear in mind the fact that you still came over when you KNEW there was a possibility of something improper could go against you if things go pear shaped, even if you have the original texts to prove you said no.


I am reposting my previous post. The guy will see you as a challenge Daliam. He will try again. I know it would be hard to find another job within the short time frame but as Sherry said it could be equally hard to find one when you are here.


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## deniz (Nov 11, 2009)

BedouGirl said:


> I am reposting my previous post. The guy will see you as a challenge Daliam. He will try again. I know it would be hard to find another job within the short time frame but as Sherry said it could be equally hard to find one when you are here.


I agree. Need to start aggressive job hunting..


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## cami (Aug 11, 2010)

Daliam said:


> What does my looks has to do with his actions!!


your looks have nothing to do with anything. i saw men in power flirting with and making passes on women of all sizes, colours, nationalities just 'cause they can. it's a power display that sometimes goes in hand in hand with lust. when you see them with their wives or partners, they behave like cocker spaniels, all eyes and tails wiggling. when at work though... they are the masters of the domain...

i knew a lady who got rid of the silly remarks of her boss after she mentioned she was suffering from cold sores on her soft tissues (mouth and nose), and she needed antibiotics regularly. i'm not kidding you, her boss dropped the touching and caressing on the spot. he probably dreaded the idea of going home with an infection 

try to invent a contagious disease that wouldn't lend you in total trouble, and see what happens


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

nola said:


> You're right - I shouldn't have called you an idiot. Apologies
> 
> Your post implied that your opinion is that this was not sexual harassment, not that it wouldn't be considered as such in court. Regardless, it's all well and good to pay lip service and have on paper what will happen if it is proven, but the sad reality is that is very unlikely the OP would be successful in proving anything. the CEO is holding all the cards here


nola, you shout sexual harassment at any given moment (I looked at so many of your past posts). Blokes are blokes, they flirt, women love it however you get the odd arsehole that did something a little too far, in this case he did - he's Bahraini, he loves Johnny Walker Black, he thinks every woman is a shag - maybe that's on his experience - he's obviously not met a woman like the OP.

As soon as he realises he can't bully her, he'll be on his knees wanting a strap on up his arse.

Strong women scare the **** out of certain guys.


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

BedouGirl said:


> I am reposting my previous post. The guy will see you as a challenge Daliam. He will try again. I know it would be hard to find another job within the short time frame but as Sherry said it could be equally hard to find one when you are here.


Absolute bollocks (pardon the pun), why chase someone who's made herself unavailable when there are so many easier fish in the sea?


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## Nirvana (Jun 11, 2011)

Toon said:


> Absolute bollocks (pardon the pun), why chase someone who's made herself unavailable when there are so many easier fish in the sea?


With all due respect, I completely disagree. You don't seem to be getting the full picture.

She made herself not available?! How so? By accepting the job immediately after that sort of behavior from the boss?

There's only one thing that goes into his mind now: "she is willing to put out, but doesn't like the rush"... 

"She either isn't as innocent as she portrays herself, by accepting the job after what I've done..... or she's one of those who put money and career on top of everything. Hence, still controllable".

He wasn't scared by her being strong. He is not that type. Because he typed back "well, good luck finding a job!".... if he were, his second message would be an apology or claiming there is misunderstanding immediately after her response. But what he typed back shows the type of men he is. Pride issues and revenge seeker.

A lot of fish in the sea means nothing when there is a nice challenge that you'd meet everyday in office. Besides, it's a matter of pride for many men... (especially those who depend on luck and money)... they usually try to teach such women a lesson. 

I don't think she should risk it, if there are alternatives. I know girls who can control such lame men like toys... still not putting out.... but I don't think she needs the drama right now. She's new in town and there are many things that can go against her.


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

Nirvana said:


> With all due respect, I completely disagree. You don't seem to be getting the full picture.
> 
> She made herself not available?! How so? By accepting the job immediately after that sort of behavior from the boss?
> 
> ...



I'm not geting the full picture am I not?

OK, obviously you're a personal friend of the OP, as that's the only way anyone can see the full picture.

Look, I have no idea who or what you are, but by claiming such things as "She isn't as innocent as she says she is", makes me think you're worse than her potential boss.

When will certain males understand that because a woman dresses and behaves the way she likes - and the way that soooo many men do, that makes them easy or available, or up for it.

You're all that is wrong with so many guys in the Middle East. 

Women are an equal (at least), not subservient.

Religion - the opiate of the people.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Again people all I said is accepting then job temporarily I'm gonna use his employment visa as a visit visa and look for other jobs and I'm quite confident I can find something else even if it's with a lower salary, I already got another offer when I went there but I rejected it for this one and the past few days I called all my network in Dubai and I secured an interview with another company once I go to Dubai.. I tend to be optimistic .. And if I didn't get lucky and he continued doing what hes doing I'll just return back to Egypt all I'm gonna lose is 1 or 2 months of my time which is fine since I'm jobless now and elections r going on in Egypt so it's unstable anyways ... 

What do u think?


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

Seize the opportunity, live, and soar like an eagle.


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## Daliam (May 11, 2012)

Thanks for the encouragement words toon


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

(Or to put it another way, if you can manage the usual Egyptian, then Bahrainis will be a walk over for you).


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## Nirvana (Jun 11, 2011)

Toon said:


> Look, I have no idea who or what you are, but by claiming such things as "She isn't as innocent as she says she is", makes me think you're worse than her potential boss.


I beg your pardon? I wasn't reflecting my "way of thinking" rather their way. This is exactly how such men think and behave. Not me, nor most of the men on this forum.



> When will certain males understand that because a woman dresses and behaves the way she likes - and the way that soooo many men do, that makes them easy or available, or up for it.


And your suggestion is for her to accept the job and work on changing his mentality?



> You're all that is wrong with so many guys in the Middle East.
> 
> Women are an equal (at least), not subservient.
> 
> Religion - the opiate of the people.


I understand your need for venting about this specific point. I think most of us agree about this. However, this won't help with the OP's situation. It is what it is. The guy has such mentality. Acting like it doesn't exist or that she has the "right" or power to go in head to head against him and emerge a winner is overly optimistic. There are numerous similar stories. 

Again, if she has to take the job, so be it... but I think we all agree that she should immediately start searching for another one as well.


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## Toon (Feb 28, 2012)

If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that.


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## blue_moon (Apr 25, 2012)

Daliam said:


> Again people all I said is accepting then job temporarily I'm gonna use his employment visa as a visit visa and look for other jobs and I'm quite confident I can find something else even if it's with a lower salary, I already got another offer when I went there but I rejected it for this one and the past few days I called all my network in Dubai and I secured an interview with another company once I go to Dubai.. I tend to be optimistic .. And if I didn't get lucky and he continued doing what hes doing I'll just return back to Egypt all I'm gonna lose is 1 or 2 months of my time which is fine since I'm jobless now and elections r going on in Egypt so it's unstable anyways ...
> 
> What do u think?


Agree! :clap2:


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## Tropicana (Apr 29, 2010)

Just make sure you dont hand over your passport AT ALL, some companies will claim its the rule to give your passports for "safekeeping" but thats BS


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## Guest (May 23, 2012)

Daliam said:


> Again people all I said is accepting then job temporarily I'm gonna use his employment visa as a visit visa and look for other jobs and I'm quite confident I can find something else even if it's with a lower salary, I already got another offer when I went there but I rejected it for this one and the past few days I called all my network in Dubai and I secured an interview with another company once I go to Dubai.. I tend to be optimistic .. And if I didn't get lucky and he continued doing what hes doing I'll just return back to Egypt all I'm gonna lose is 1 or 2 months of my time which is fine since I'm jobless now and elections r going on in Egypt so it's unstable anyways ...
> 
> What do u think?


Daliam, several people have given their opinions about the possible risks of doing what you are suggesting. I think you have been given the information; it is up to you now to decide what you want to do. Good luck to you - I really hope everything works out for you


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## Abdul_B (Aug 18, 2011)

I can help you fix all your problems!

Reading through this thread I've established that you're:

1. Attractive.
2. Not married.
3. Not engaged.
4. Wanting to live in Dubai.
5. Need a job.
6. To solve this predicament with your "future boss".

Solution:

Let's get married .


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

How romantic, you proposing on this forum....are you only interested in the OP or will any one do?


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## Abdul_B (Aug 18, 2011)

Nah mate! Just the OP, I really want to help her! *cough*

+ I need a wife, 2 halal birds with 1 stone?


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## AK47 (Feb 16, 2012)

Abdul_B said:


> 1 stone?


you only have one stone? you will not pass the gene pool test mate....check again maybe there is two?


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## Abdul_B (Aug 18, 2011)

Touche! Owned by my own creation? lol


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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

This thread is going nowhere so will close until the Dubai mods see it.. they may reopen or leave close.. their descision,


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