# My son is finding it hard



## eddie13 (Nov 5, 2012)

Hi All

First time post here so apologies if it goes wrong. We relocated to Spain (Sitges) as a family last June, we have 2 children 3 & 11 and they both go to a Catalan school.

My eldest son is finding it difficult to and is not getting on well at school, he feels that he isnt making friends and that all of the kids dont like him (he does have a few friends but they are expats too)

Does anybody have any suggestion as to how we can help him, we are going to get him extra lesson for the language but its the outside of school time we need help with also.

He plays football for UE Sitges but does anybody know of anywhere else he can meet expat kids or English speaking kids while he builds hi confidence?

Sorry to ramble I am just a concerned dad!


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

Hi and welcome eddie 13
When we came here i brought my two youngest children with us 3 and 12 
The oldest had a terrible time at school because he simply attached himself to expat kids at school which created a them and us situation and it seemed he would never get through without me having to go and see what problem had arised that once funny enough a lot of the expats had returned to the uk things started to improve alot
The biggest mistake i made was i bought a finca and ill tell you why after school the children play in the village and my children couldnt because of the distance to the local village and that i found was the problem their friends played out and mine could not get there to join them
But putting that all in the past he has returned to the uk and has a place of his own and a job
Now then the youngest has been going to school here since age 4 he is now 12 and again had a hard time with other kids the first few years but working with the school which ive got to say are brilliant he has started to shine but from time to time i get a phonecall 
He will in september go to the secondary school and hopefully because he was in infants his classmates go with him 
As my eldest didnt do the early years in infants i think that was a contributing factor
One other thing doesnt matter how much you research i did not know they spoke a different language in catalonia and we learnt spanish to arrive with i was totally stoked when i realised all his homework books are catalan
But dont worry he will make friends.but try a lean more to the spanish than expats 
I say that because mine has a Morrocan a spanish and rumanian friends and it does get better after school let them play out and meet other young people they will soon settle
Hope this helps


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## eddie13 (Nov 5, 2012)

Hi Tony.

Thanks for the reply, I know it will get easier for him we just need him to see that.

When your son is sobbing his heart out its difficult, roll on the summer that will change things again.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

eddie13 said:


> Hi Tony.
> 
> Thanks for the reply, I know it will get easier for him we just need him to see that.
> 
> When your son is sobbing his heart out its difficult, roll on the summer that will change things again.


11 is a difficult at which to move to a school & learn to study in a language (2 languages?) which you don't speak

some children do manage at that age - but many many more simply find it too big a task

whenever anyone asks us about putting a child in Spanish school at above the age of 10, we usually say 'give it a try but be prepared for the possibility that it won't work, and that you will eventually have to move your child to private International school'


I have 2 children aged 17 & 13, who have been through, and are still in, the Spanish system - but they were younger than your eldest when we came here


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

eddie13 said:


> Hi Tony.
> 
> Thanks for the reply, I know it will get easier for him we just need him to see that.
> 
> When your son is sobbing his heart out its difficult, roll on the summer that will change things again.


Yes it is hard but honestly he will be fine its a strange land and environent and not being able to communicate with fellow pupils is a problem but honestly the schools here are excellent and he will learn very quickly and once he starts getting the gist of catalan like mine he never shuts up ;()
So i know its hard but all will come good i promise you hes far better here and like you said its wont belong before the suns shining 
Do you live in town or village or campo ?
If you get stuck we are here only a text away ok


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

xabiachica said:


> 11 is a difficult at which to move to a school & learn to study in a language (2 languages? which you don't speak
> 
> some children do manage at that age - but many many more simply find it too big a task
> 
> ...


Yes your right Xabiachica i think its Definatly harder the older you are to try to learn Catalan and then spanish on top 
My youngest like most young people there brains are like sponges but my older one he did find it difficult but all of a sudden it went in and he used to help many brits here get things done he was good that way now be helps some spanish expats in the uk to get around funny eh
Kids what would we do without them

Ps im sorry for the post you took off i hold my hands up and do apolagize thats not what im about
Regards tony xx


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## donz (May 5, 2010)

Hiya I don't have kids but I have had 2 seperate sets of friends who have moved here with kids your age

One had an 11yr old daughter. They had visited the area before but mum decided not to take anybodys advice and thought she knew better  Anyway the school closest to her was too inland - what I mean by that is they were even more in the dark ages and so the usual Spanish schooling was even more out of date and none of the teachers would speak ANY English to her (I know I know why should they etc) but to get her settled it would have been helpful.

She moved school to one in the next village and this was better, the teachers were generally more helpful and the kids more accepting. They only stayed 6mths because mum hadn't done her homework properly and didn't take advice (i.e. have a years money - she had 3mth worth, look at the places you want to live - she didn't, just chose a place she had seen once and it was freezing over the winter (they are more open)) But the moral to this story is the 11yr old girl didn't want to go back to the UK then - she loved her new school and had really got to grips with it.

The other friends had an 11yr old son, he is now 16. He found the first year hard and had to repeat to pass BUT he is a very sensible kid and really knuckled down. He had extra Spanish lessons for 4 years and is a really bright teenager now who has a fantastic vocab and has passed very year since.

11 seems to be a popular age for people to move over with their kids lol!


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

donz said:


> Hiya I don't have kids but I have had 2 seperate sets of friends who have moved here with kids your age
> 
> One had an 11yr old daughter. They had visited the area before but mum decided not to take anybodys advice and thought she knew better  Anyway the school closest to her was too inland - what I mean by that is they were even more in the dark ages and so the usual Spanish schooling was even more out of date and none of the teachers would speak ANY English to her (I know I know why should they etc) but to get her settled it would have been helpful.
> 
> ...


Im afraid we hear this all the time but inland the teachers here are not expected to talk in english and lets face it we are in there country but as OP say research research and ask i must admit i didnt know they spoke a different lingo here we were learning spanish and everyone spoke Catalan one other thing my eldest spoke Catalan and i asked him to telephone a company in madrid he fully understood her but she did not understand him now thats a dilema !!!!


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

tonyinspain said:


> Yes your right Xabiachica i think its Definatly harder the older you are to try to learn Catalan and then spanish on top
> My youngest like most young people there brains are like sponges but my older one he did find it difficult but all of a sudden it went in and he used to help many brits here get things done he was good that way now be helps some spanish expats in the uk to get around funny eh
> Kids what would we do without them
> 
> ...


apology accepted 

my girls have both Castellano & Valenciano, so I know what you mean - & my eldest was almost 9 when she started in Spanish school, & barely has a trace of 'englishness' about her now

some older children DO make it, I know a girl who was 13 when she moved here & she graduated just a year late - but it was a hard slog

the majority who come above the age of 10/11 really do find it too much though


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Your poor son, and poor you!
Well, you're in the situation now, and there's no going back for the moment I suppose, so in a way it's best to make that clear to him.
If he's 11 he's in primary school, and he may well repeat the year which is not such a big thing here and is probably the best that could happen if you mean to stay. It does not mean he's a failure, just that he needs time to adapt to the system and the language. He'll have a more solid base to work from when he gets to secondary school.
I would concentrate on the building up friendships area. If he has friends he'll feel more confident and more motivated and hopefully there'll be more need to learn the language.
How to do this? Who knows? At least he's playing football. That should bring him in contact with other boys. Nintendo etc, despite what people say, if there's one "machine" between 2 there's a lot of potential language learning going on. Could you invite a neighbour over, or someone on the football team for a game?
The school should be helping him, but you need to get in touch with them. In my experience they don't tell you something is going wrong until it has definitely gone wrong ie they don't tell you your child is doing badly until he fails the exam. So IMO you need to go to the school every week to see how he's doing, not so much academically, but socially. Ask the teachers to sit him next to people who may have similar interests or that can help him in school.
If he can bring his language skills up (catalan or Spanish, I don't know what you're aiming for) it'll help him tremedously, but it's important that he doesn't see these classes just as an extra workload, but as a way to improving his life here. Make sure you get the best teacher you can, which of course is not necessarily the most expensive!
And, although I expect you're already doing this, let him know you're there, that you're going to help, but also that he has to make an effort and try to stay positive.
Unfortunately, as others have said, you may need to consider private education.
Hope you get through this year successfully.


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

Well put pesky yes i have kept constant communication with the head and left my phone number when any problem arose they use to phone me and in ten minutes we had it sorted i really do think the schools go all out here to intergrate you children and talk to the teacher my young on 12 now was held back last year and he had repaste every wednesday for i hour it really did him good 
Repaste is extra tuition 
As pesky says the more you intergrate you and your children you find lifes a lot better go to parks and has he a bike spanish kids love their cycles youve only been here a short time so dont give up on it now its only a problem if you dont talk about it


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## bob_bob (Jan 5, 2011)

How many teachers in England can speak Spanish? Is it realistic to expect a teacher in Spain to speak English? and then presumably modify lessons to accommodate new immigrants?

Is there any research into age and learning a language? Five or six I'd have thought would be OK IF your teacher can speak English and bridge the language barrier but older and the child has reached a good level of their own native language and taking on a new one won't be easy?

I know when I was on the board of governors for our local primary school and we had an influx of around fifteen Philippine children (the local trust had recruited 64 overseas nurses) we had a difficult time with the language problems and had to beg funding for two teaching assistants to help. It worked out well in the end but remember they had parents who had a reasonable command of English to support their children's school work. If your not a Spanish speaker then your on a short straw in terms of supporting your child's education.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

bob_bob said:


> How many teachers in England can speak Spanish? Is it realistic to expect a teacher in Spain to speak English? and then presumably modify lessons to accommodate new immigrants?
> 
> Is there any research into age and learning a language? Five or six I'd have thought would be OK IF your teacher can speak English and bridge the language barrier but older and the child has reached a good level of their own native language and taking on a new one won't be easy?
> 
> I know when I was on the board of governors for our local primary school and we had an influx of around fifteen Philippine children (the local trust had recruited 64 overseas nurses) we had a difficult time with the language problems and had to beg funding for two teaching assistants to help. It worked out well in the end but remember they had parents who had a reasonable command of English to support their children's school work. If your not a Spanish speaker then your on a short straw in terms of supporting your child's education.


yes, there's lots of research into age & language learning

until around the age of 10, the brain accepts & absorbs a new language when exposed to it on a regular/constant basis - which is why we often describe children up to that age as 'sponges' 

after that age an element of study is required, which is why it's so much harder for children above that age to settle into a school where they have to study IN a different language - they have to study the new language first


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## Sonrisa (Sep 2, 2010)

eddie13 said:


> Hi All
> 
> First time post here so apologies if it goes wrong. We relocated to Spain (Sitges) as a family last June, we have 2 children 3 & 11 and they both go to a Catalan school.
> 
> ...


My answer isnt going to be very popular, but at least its honest: 11 years old its simply too late to start a foreign curriculum, in a foreign language, in a foreign country. Its unfair on the school and their teaching staff, its unfair on the other pupils, as this surely slows down the lesson rutine, and most crucially, its unfair on your child. 

Concerned dads dont jeopardise their children education. Your eldest child needs an international school.


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Sonrisa said:


> My answer isnt going to be very popular, but at least its honest: 11 years old its simply too late to start a foreign curriculum, in a foreign language, in a foreign country. Its unfair on the school and their teaching staff, its unfair on the other pupils, as this surely slows down the lesson rutine, and most crucially, its unfair on your child.
> 
> Concerned dads dont jeopardise their children education. Your eldest child needs an international school.


Sadly, I kind of agree. I came to Spain with a 13yo son and 10 yo daughter. I put them both into international school, altho after a few weeks my daughter wanted to try state school - she hated it, so we moved her to another state school, which she liked better, but refused to learn the language, do homework, integrate and yes, we had the tears and scenes - it wasnt easy, but we stuck it out for ayear or so - especially as it was her choice to go "Spanish". In the end, we discovered that she was skiving and failing miserably, so we put her back into an international school where she flourished - she never did take to Spain tho, she was miserable and made our lives difficult at every turn. So that was a big part of why we returned to the UK - unfortunately, altho she is now happy, her education and drive has suffered. 

However, my son loved Spain and the international school and is now at college in the UK, wishing we hadnt left Spain!?

I dont know what the answer is for your lad if you cant go down the International route - perseverance, bribery, treat, encouraging friendships......... I tried everything with my daughter. I sometimes feel that because we kept strong ties with the UK (we had our house there, my husband commuted, she was in touch with UK friends on facebook etc), that sort of kept the UK alive in her mind and if she'd let go of it, it may have helped. She had this rosy picture of life back there, was always banging on about "going home" .........................

Jo xxx


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## Captain Leaky (Jun 22, 2011)

Sonrisa said:


> My answer isnt going to be very popular, but at least its honest: 11 years old its simply too late to start a foreign curriculum, in a foreign language, in a foreign country. Its unfair on the school and their teaching staff, its unfair on the other pupils, as this surely slows down the lesson rutine, and most crucially, its unfair on your child.
> 
> Concerned dads dont jeopardise their children education. Your eldest child needs an international school.


Ancient thinking 
I don't hear the teachers in the UK moaning about having to Teach non English kids and I would be able to, I live with one.

My wife is the Deputy Head to a large state Secondary school and in fact the have the opposite view. The embrace foreign students and visit other countries to share Education polices, they teach there pupils to also embrace the philosophy. 


To the original op, It will take time, the best place for your boy is the state school, I fear going to an interdependent school will be easier for now but not in the long run.

Join as many clubs as possible, its all about meeting and interaction. Play to your strengths he can offer help to Spanish boys with there English.
Be strong and loving for him.


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## Sonrisa (Sep 2, 2010)

Captain Leaky said:


> Ancient thinking
> To the original op, It will take time, the best place for your boy is the state school, I fear going to an interdependent school will be easier for now but not in the long run.


Wishful thinking. sounds nice in theory, but in practicality he is sharing a classroom with boys and girls, who are not only perfectly fluent in spanish and catalan, but that have spent half of their lifes memorising verbs, conjugacions, the many gramatical rules of the complicated spanish language, vocabulary that can be tricky, like related to biology , spelling , reading and writing abilities etc, not to mention spanish geography with its autonomies, rivers, mountains, art, history. 
I dont know what Interdependent schools are, but parents are responsible for placing their children needs first, and a spanish state school clearly cannot cater for the educational needs of an 11year old non spanish speaker. Whilst I also reckon the teachers arent moaning, i would worry about the long term consecuences of placing a young boy in an educational environment in which he can only fail.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Sonrisa said:


> Wishful thinking. sounds nice in theory, but in practicality he is sharing a classroom with boys and girls, who are not only perfectly fluent in spanish and catalan, but that have spent half of their lifes memorising verbs, conjugacions, the many gramatical rules of the complicated spanish language, vocabulary that can be tricky, like related to biology , spelling , reading and writing abilities etc, not to mention spanish geography with its autonomies, rivers, mountains, art, history.
> I dont know what interdependant schools are, but parents are responsible for placing their children needs first, and a spanish state school clearly cannot cater for the educational needs of an 11year old non spanish speaker. Whilst I also reckon the teachers arent moaning, i would worry about the long term consecuences of placing a young boy in an educational environment in which he can only fail.


I agree, although _some _children at that age manage it - the majority don't


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

tonyinspain said:


> Well put pesky yes i have kept constant communication with the head and left my phone number when any problem arose they use to phone me and in ten minutes we had it sorted i really do think the schools go all out here to intergrate you children and talk to the teacher my young on 12 now was held back last year and he had repaste every wednesday for i hour it really did him good
> Repaste is extra tuition
> As pesky says the more you intergrate you and your children you find lifes a lot better go to parks and has he a bike spanish kids love their cycles youve only been here a short time so dont give up on it now its only a problem if you dont talk about it


Sounds like your children went to an excellent school and it's really nice to hear a call in favour of state education. 
My daughter has had Spanish state education all her life and I was happy in general, but she was a good student and she is Spanish born and bred. What I mean is that she didn't have, and didn't make many problems for herself, but when there *were* problems (which there were - I mean I'm not trying to make out she's perfect) I really felt the emphasis was for us to get in touch with the school rather than them getting in touch with us. When we did, 9 times out of 10 the response was favourable, but on the couple of occasions when I didn't feel things were moving along as they should have been I asked for an appointment with a higher authority. In primary we met with the class teacher, and once I met the head. In secondary the usual thing in our area is to meet with the class tutor who would have talked to all of our daughter's teachers beforehand. A couple of times I then spoke to individual subject teachers, and on one occasion to the head of studies. We were always well received except for one gilipuertas who was later fired and you have to be incredibly bad to be fired as a teacher in Spain.
Education in Spain is quite different to education in the UK in both primary and secondary and children need time to adapt and get back on an even footing with the standards that they were achieving in the UK.
Ok and I fully agree with the bike idea, and a bike club maybe an idea as long as there are children of his own age going.


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Captain Leaky said:


> Ancient thinking
> I don't hear the teachers in the UK moaning about having to Teach non English kids and I would be able to, I live with one.
> 
> My wife is the Deputy Head to a large state Secondary school and in fact the have the opposite view. The embrace foreign students and visit other countries to share Education polices, they teach there pupils to also embrace the philosophy.
> ...


The attitude to foreign children in the classroom will logically vary from school to school. 
It will vary according to the teachers, and don't forget that depending on the school 20%, 35%, 50%, of the teachers may change from year to year.
It will also vary on the experience the school has of dealing with non Spaniards in the class. A school on the Costa del Sol may well have a "strategy" in place. A school in inner city Madrid may have too, although it'd probably be different because on the Costa probably the main number of immigrants would be european whereas inner city Madrid maybe the largest numbers are Arab and Chinese speakers. And in León, Cuenca and Cuidad Real?? Some areas don't have large enough immigrant populations for them to warrant a special Spanish as a Foreign Language teacher for example.
Which brings me to the last point - money. At this point of time schools are losing their support staff, not gaining so general classroom assistants in preschool classrooms, remedial teachers in secondary school etc are species in danger of extinction rather than expansion.
Without knowing the figures, I'm pretty sure the amount of money that the two countries have to spend is different, and the amount they dedicate to the education of immigrants very different.


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

No i have to say in defence of the school here they have been brilliant some teachers do speak english albeit american version but they really tried to help us with both my children the difficulty we had really was the farm it was not near the village and inadvertantly we ostrecised ourselves by being too far away ti properly intergrat when i purchased the bar things changed for the better kids called round after school to ride with my children around the village so it was a lot better hence one of the reasons im now renting a apartment ( posh for flat)
So yes it is hard but between the excellent teaching staff and perserverance , communication things are a lot better 
It is hard watching children upset and miserable but things do improve if you converse with the teaching staff they really do try to help 
Hope this helps


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

tonyinspain said:


> No i have to say in defence of the school here they have been brilliant some teachers do speak english albeit american version but they really tried to help us with both my children the difficulty we had really was the farm it was not near the village and inadvertantly we ostrecised ourselves by being too far away ti properly intergrat when i purchased the bar things changed for the better kids called round after school to ride with my children around the village so it was a lot better hence one of the reasons im now renting a apartment ( posh for flat)
> So yes it is hard but between the excellent teaching staff and perserverance , communication things are a lot better
> It is hard watching children upset and miserable but things do improve if you converse with the teaching staff they really do try to help
> Hope this helps


I haven't agreed with things you've said in other threads, but one thing that you really have in your favour is your ability to recognise that you made mistakes instead of blaming it in "the Spanish"


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I haven't agreed with things you've said in other threads, but one thing that you really have in your favour is your ability to recognise that you made mistakes instead of blaming it in "the Spanish"


To be honest i really dont care if you agree or not many do but i say thing as i see it and to be honest if someones upset to the point they are in tears then its our duty to say whats what i only post from my own experience right or wrong and as im still learning when someone says tony your wrong i take it 
I have never blamed the spanish but i do not think they are totally innocent and i find posters on here tend to dislike anyone with a negativity about spain and to be honest your one of these anyone says anything against spain and your in there like a rotwieller but spain is not perfect and nor are we
We have to sort the negatives together to put them into positives and yes sometimes we make mistakes 
Regards


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

tonyinspain said:


> To be honest i really dont care if you agree or not many do but i say thing as i see it and to be honest if someones upset to the point they are in tears then its our duty to say whats what i only post from my own experience right or wrong and as im still learning when someone says tony your wrong i take it
> I have never blamed the spanish but i do not think they are totally innocent and i find posters on here tend to dislike anyone with a negativity about spain and to be honest your one of these anyone says anything against spain and your in there like a rotwieller but spain is not perfect and nor are we
> We have to sort the negatives together to put them into positives and yes sometimes we make mistakes
> Regards



PESKY WESKY???? are you sure you have the right poster??? I always think of Pesky as more of a native than an expat - she's lived in Spain with her Spanish husband, daughter and his family forever and if anything shows a healthy regard for the country she calls home - but she's very honest and real about how things are in Spain

Jo xxx


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

tonyinspain said:


> To be honest i really dont care if you agree or not many do but i say thing as i see it and to be honest if someones upset to the point they are in tears then its our duty to say whats what i only post from my own experience right or wrong and as im still learning when someone says tony your wrong i take it
> I have never blamed the spanish but i do not think they are totally innocent and i find posters on here tend to dislike anyone with a negativity about spain and to be honest your one of these anyone says anything against spain and your in there like a rotwieller but spain is not perfect and nor are we
> We have to sort the negatives together to put them into positives and yes sometimes we make mistakes
> Regards


Yes, I'm fully aware that you and some others have got me down as a rose tinted glasses wearer, but you know what "Tony you're wrong"
I do like living here and am very glad to be living here rather than in the UK. However, I feel that I have a very balanced view of what "really living" here is like based on the fact that I've lived here for a long time, know three different areas of Spain well, have a Spanish husband and daughter and (therefore inlaws) and also make regular trips back to the UK. That doesn't mean I know everything about Spain though and I've learnt a lot since I joined this forum, A LOT!!
I am certainly biased towards life here, but can't say that I defend Spain like a Rotweiller. The only thing I'd defend like a rotweiller are my family actually.
As I've told you before I have on many occasions posted negatively about Spain, mostly about education and politics. You may not have seen them, but they are there. In fact if you read my post here, you have posted more positively about the Spanish education system than I have, so maybe it's time to change that opinion!
Anyway, as you say, it really doesn't matter if you agree with me or not. I do object to plain rudeness and insults though.


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

Sorry it wasnt meant in that context as rude i always post as im thinking it and thats how you have come across to me personally sooner or later i needed to reply to you yes we dont see eye to eye always but then thats what makes us different and like i say im sorry i just say it as i see it


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

jojo said:


> PESKY WESKY???? are you sure you have the right poster??? I always think of Pesky as more of a native than an expat - she's lived in Spain with her Spanish husband, daughter and his family forever and if anything shows a healthy regard for the country she calls home - but she's very honest and real about how things are in Spain
> 
> Jo xxx


Sorry jo jo my opinion anything negative and bam all hell breaks loose its not always the expat that causes the probs its the stupid way every province changes a law to suit themseves one province says yes another no
No wonder people are confused 
Like i said my opinion. Xxx


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

tonyinspain said:


> Sorry it wasnt meant in that context as rude i always post as im thinking it and thats how you have come across to me personally sooner or later i needed to reply to you yes we dont see eye to eye always but then thats what makes us different and like i say im sorry i just say it as i see it


When I said "I do object to plain rudeness and insults though" I didn't mean you. I meant when things get to that stage, as they have done in the past, that's when I object, and on one or two occasions I have reported posts, but that's not happened in your case, and hope it never will .


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## tonyinspain (Jul 18, 2011)

I have never reported anyone ever there is no need i dont want to upset anyone on here including yourself but tha last few days posting ive been abused reported and systamatically attacked for airing my own opinion and sorry to anyone i may have upset it wasnt my intention but to be honest im really not going to post anymore as i dont need this hassle ill keep reading from time to time and good luck to eveyone its been very emotional 
Tonyinspain 
Signed out xxx


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

tonyinspain said:


> I have never reported anyone ever there is no need i dont want to upset anyone on here including yourself but tha last few days posting ive been abused reported and systamatically attacked for airing my own opinion and sorry to anyone i may have upset it wasnt my intention but to be honest im really not going to post anymore as i dont need this hassle ill keep reading from time to time and good luck to eveyone its been very emotional
> Tonyinspain
> Signed out xxx


Well I'm not sure where that's come from, but as I can't see that it's got anything to do with the exchanges we've had I'll bow out of this conversation


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

tonyinspain said:


> I have never reported anyone ever there is no need i dont want to upset anyone on here including yourself but tha last few days posting ive been abused reported and systamatically attacked for airing my own opinion and sorry to anyone i may have upset it wasnt my intention but to be honest im really not going to post anymore as i dont need this hassle ill keep reading from time to time and good luck to eveyone its been very emotional
> Tonyinspain
> Signed out xxx


actually it would make things so much easier for us moderators if people DID use the report button when they find something offensive

us 'local' Spain mods aren't always online, & even when we are we can't read everything

if someone uses the report button then problems come to the attention of all the moderators, and any potential aggro can be headed off at the pass

we're also really grateful when posters report adverts & spammers


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

tonyinspain said:


> I have never reported anyone ever there is no need i dont want to upset anyone on here including yourself but tha last few days posting ive been abused reported and systamatically attacked for airing my own opinion and sorry to anyone i may have upset it wasnt my intention but to be honest im really not going to post anymore as i dont need this hassle ill keep reading from time to time and good luck to eveyone its been very emotional
> Tonyinspain
> Signed out xxx


Dont leave us, you're alright! We have had a few "difficult" posters recently who were a tad argumentative,, not Pesky Wesky, but others and they have been dealt with behind the scenes on your behalf

Jo xxx


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## anles (Feb 11, 2009)

jojo said:


> I dont know what the answer is for your lad if you cant go down the International route - perseverance, bribery, treat, encouraging friendships......... I tried everything with my daughter. I sometimes feel that because we kept strong ties with the UK (we had our house there, my husband commuted, she was in touch with UK friends on facebook etc), that sort of kept the UK alive in her mind and if she'd let go of it, it may have helped. She had this rosy picture of life back there, was always banging on about "going home" .........................
> 
> Jo xxx


I don't think keeping close ties made it worse, in fact the opposite, you were giving her the opportunity to keep up with her family, friends and help bear being in Spain . When I went through this experience, I was younger and in the nearly 39 years I have been here, I have been back to the UK a total of 6 times, there was no facebook, internet, not even a phone in my case  I did have other issues so it wasn't just moving to Spain, but I blamed everything on that. And it has had an effect on my whole life. Now, I am here because I choose to be, I love Spain with all it's faults and I am grateful I have brought up my children here. Life here is very difficult, there is no doubt about that but the compensations are well worth the price. But the experience I went through as a child has affected many areas of my life. I'm not saying that all children will suffer but parents should never disregard their children's unhapiness. And certainly not underestimate how much of an impact emigrating can have on the whole family's life.


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## Brangus (May 1, 2010)

tonyinspain said:


> It is hard watching children upset and miserable but things do improve if you converse with the teaching staff they really do try to help


I'm coming in late to this topic, but agree with Tony's remark. We live in La Mancha, and the staff at our state school are well trained, thoughtful, creative, professional and caring! I cannot praise them enough.

My case is a little different because my child is neurologically impaired, but here are just a few examples of what the school has done: Adapt the lessons in Citizenship class to discuss "hypothetical" situations such as a new boy at school who doesn't have any friends. Assign collaborative projects with the goal of making the students work together as a team and accept each other, regardless of their differences. One teacher has invited my child and other students to her home for lunch in hopes of sparking friendships. 

I hope the OP expresses his concerns to the school and shows that he is open to their suggestions. Unfortunately, we still suffer the tears of loneliness, as most "normal" kids don't have the patience for someone with global developmental delays, but it is not for lacking of trying.


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## soldintime (Apr 7, 2014)

eddie13 said:


> Hi All
> 
> First time post here so apologies if it goes wrong. We relocated to Spain (Sitges) as a family last June, we have 2 children 3 & 11 and they both go to a Catalan school.
> 
> ...


How are you finding it in Olivella. I like to know what it is like to be a bit outside Sitges. I might be planing to rent a home to use during weekends and school holidays in this area. We live in Andorra for almost 4 years now with our 2 kids and they seem happy. They go to a Catalan school. Shool systems here are even more Crazy with Andarran (Catalan), Spanish & French school systems.


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