# Saying goodbye...



## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

Hi all,

Now we have done 2 rekkis to perth and have made a final decision to emigrate in Nov this year. Now I have the awful task of telling everyone especially my parents. This is really taking the shine off the excitment as I know they will be devastated. Although it has been on the cards for a couple of years, it is now much more real. How do people cope saying goodbye, especially at the airport?
Goin to tell my parents today of our date, wish me luck..


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## Marginally Crazy (Nov 12, 2008)

Hi

This is going to be hard, no matter how you put it, which words you choose, what sort of relationship you have with your parents. Sometimes it helps the other person - the one who potentially feels let down/ betrayed/ deserted etc- that we empathize with how they feel and that we are hurting too for being the cause of their hurt. Make them understand that it will be hard for you too to say Good bye and that it will break your heart a little,( or a lot ) but they brought you up to be independent and live your own life. 
Good luck


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## Dolly (Feb 17, 2008)

Hi Janice,

TBH, we didn't have anyone at the airport to see us off - we just couldn't bear it. We stayed in a hotel at the airport the night before and then caught our flight the next morning. Saying your final goodbyes at the airport is devastating, and the last thing I wanted was to blub for England whilst waiting to check in, whilst waiting to board and then on the plane (once i start blubbing, I just can't seem to stop!!).

We had a family goodbye party so got most of the goodbyes done that way. Some friends came too so even more ticked off the list at the same time. Try to keep it all to a minimum, it's emotionally and physically draining. But, once you're sitting on the plane and you've taken off, you're so focussed on the next step in your new life that all the heartache becomes a distant memory.

Good luck on telling your parents.

Which part of Perth have you chosen to live in? 

Dolly


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

Hi Janice, wish u luck.. it is not easy but they will adjust, time heals anything and everything and for you the initial settling bit will help. Call everyone over as Dolly suggested and with so many people around there are less tears and more laughter. that would make it a wee bit easier.

Cheers
PS the pix are awesome


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## muss (Jun 24, 2009)

*Good luck*

Hi janice, good luck on your move and with the hard task you have with the parents. Im new to all this so please let me know how you get on, which part of perth are you moving to? Im hoping to move out there myself.
Good luck.


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

Dolly said:


> Hi Janice,
> 
> TBH, we didn't have anyone at the airport to see us off - we just couldn't bear it. We stayed in a hotel at the airport the night before and then caught our flight the next morning. Saying your final goodbyes at the airport is devastating, and the last thing I wanted was to blub for England whilst waiting to check in, whilst waiting to board and then on the plane (once i start blubbing, I just can't seem to stop!!).
> 
> ...


Hi Dolly,
Thanks for that and all the replies, it will be hard I know I need to harder up..
We've have two very different areas in mind and haven't yet decided. The first is the Northern suburbs ir Joondalup areas, Ocena Reef etc. However when we did this recent rekki we went to the South Mandurah and found a place that I loved and felt at home in straight away, this place was called Madora Bay, beautiful. But I haven't done much research on this area and would like to find out more about it before committing. Its so hard as we have 3 kids so we need to find an area and stick to it, it is unsettling enough without us keep moving schools etc.

So if you know of any contact who live in this area I would love to contact people.
Cheers jan


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

muss said:


> Hi janice, good luck on your move and with the hard task you have with the parents. Im new to all this so please let me know how you get on, which part of perth are you moving to? Im hoping to move out there myself.
> Good luck.


Hi Muss,

We have been to Perth on two rekkis now and are undecided or the Northern suburbs, ie, Joondalup area, Currambine or the South only one place that I would live down there, Madora Bay, it just felt like home. So we are going in Nov, by then I hope to have a clear idea of where I am going. It is so difficult. Where are you going
Jan


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## swordfish (Sep 1, 2008)

Marginally Crazy said:


> Hi
> 
> This is going to be hard, no matter how you put it, which words you choose, what sort of relationship you have with your parents. Sometimes it helps the other person - the one who potentially feels let down/ betrayed/ deserted etc- that we empathize with how they feel and that we are hurting too for being the cause of their hurt. Make them understand that it will be hard for you too to say Good bye and that it will break your heart a little,( or a lot ) but they brought you up to be independent and live your own life.
> Good luck


HI Janice
It will be hard to tell your folks, but once you do you will feel a lot more stress free, We have not moved to OZ yet but hopefully August this year, I told my parents and family at the begining of our application that we wanted to move to australia and that was hard, i kept putting it off, even my brother who i work with every day, I had to get him on his own and just blurt it out, but once i told every one you feel a whole lot better.
Good luck Swordfish


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## ddavid (May 9, 2009)

Hi Janice 
What is your timeline thread?


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## srn_29 (May 14, 2009)

Hi Janice,

Good luck on your move. Gosh, i can imagine parents seeing us off at the airport with tears , its going to be so damn difficult. 

A check list might come handy, make a note of things to do and people whom you have to inform, so that you can tick them in the list when its done. Good luck to you again !!


Cheers !!
srn :ranger:


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

ddavid said:


> Hi Janice
> What is your timeline thread?


hi David,

My timeline is as follows:
went to expo in Edinburgh, they were interviewing nurses so went for interview, got sponsership deal. (feb 08)
Started the visa application, intially going for 457 visa, until got more infoand went for PR visa which they said would take longer. (but didn't)
Did all of the application myself, posted in July 08.
Recieved PR visa in Dec 08, had to validate visa by July 09, which we have now done. Hope to be out there by Nov 09. Just leaving people is the hardest bit...
QUITE QUICK REALLY...


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

srn_29 said:


> Hi Janice,
> 
> Good luck on your move. Gosh, i can imagine parents seeing us off at the airport with tears , its going to be so damn difficult.
> 
> ...


Hi Srn.

Yeah it won't be easy... Nor will they make it easy as they are all so hurt we are leaving. I would rather go to the airport alone as it will be far tooo traumatic. Being selfish and don't really want to know how much they are hurting. Where are you going?


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## kaz101 (Nov 29, 2007)

Hi Janice,

Just let your family know what's in your heart and they will understand, even if it takes them a while. 

Make sure they realise that you will be in touch on a regular basis and what we did was make sure that they had Skype set up so that my parents KNEW we would be in touch. 

My parents knew for 3 years that we were moving but that didn't make it any easier. 

Things I would have changed, looking back....
We stayed with them for 2 weeks when our house was sold and although that seemed like the sensible thing to do it made it harder for my parents since they kept thinking we were at the house - in hindsight we could have stayed at a B&B although we did have some wonderful conversations with my parents. 

Things that worked....
Setting up Skype, making sure that they knew how to SMS me, setting aside times that we would talk on the phone (or Skype). 

Dad took us to the coach station, and Mum said goodbye at their place. I didn't even want Dad taking us to the coach station because of the state he would be in when he drove back. We explained that me crying at the airport & on the plane just wouldn't help anyone so that's the way we did it. I even phoned home to check Dad made it back okay. 

That was in July 2007. My parents have been out here twice since then (they once said that they'd NEVER come out here for about 5 weeks each time. They enjoyed it more when they came out in March since they went back to the UK in the Spring. They can see why we moved out here and have met our friends and we've taken them to meetings (such as Rotary). 

It is tough and they may treat it like a bereavement but they will get through it and so will you. 

Good luck, and we're always here if you need to 'talk'. 

Big hug,
Karen


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## muss (Jun 24, 2009)

Hi jan,
Well im planning on going to perth, i have family over thier already just have to sort out uk side its going to take a couple of years as long as i make it before im 45 i'le be ok lol. Lived in perth when i was a child so the move has always been in me.


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## srn_29 (May 14, 2009)

Janice,

I completly agree with Karen, i think though its gonna be difficult we need to face it. I vowed to myself that I'm gonna make my parents computer literates and then leave, that would make them a lill strong. 

I'm still in the very first stage of my processing, so its gonna take a while before i put my foot in Aus. However, I'm thinking of Brisbane, the way Brisbane has been described in various threads I have fallen in love with the city.  Hope everything goes smoothly. 

Please keep us posted, all of us would be very excited to hear from you.


Cheers !!
srn :ranger:


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## gin (Jun 14, 2009)

hi janice
Know what you mean about saying goodbye. We emigrate to Perth on August 31st this year - been talking about it for years but now finally happening I get butterflies in my stomach each time I think of saying bye to everyone. Have already told my family I don't want them to come to airport!! My husbands mum lives out in Australia so we are going to be staying with them for a while - they live in north beach. Can;t believe how quick the time is going though. To make matters worse my sister who I am very close to is due a baby on 28th August - just hope she has it before we go. But not sure if that will make it even harder! In fact at this moment in time not sure I will even be able to get on the flight!! let me know how it goes telling everyone - and I will let you know first hand what the good bye was like in September but I am sure it will be bloody awful!
Gina


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

kaz101 said:


> Hi Janice,
> 
> Just let your family know what's in your heart and they will understand, even if it takes them a while.
> 
> ...


Ah thanks Karen,

Its lovely to talk to people who understand what I'm goin through.Feel so guilty now and churned up about leaving family. that come Nov i will be a complete wreck... But I am determined and am in focus mode now. Its daunting for us as well as it is moving into the unknown, everything will be unfamilar initially. Regret the things you do in life, not the things you don't. Ps hope I don't regret this thou..
My head is completely battered at the present time, sooo stressed...
Cheers everyone.
jan x


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

gin said:


> hi janice
> Know what you mean about saying goodbye. We emigrate to Perth on August 31st this year - been talking about it for years but now finally happening I get butterflies in my stomach each time I think of saying bye to everyone. Have already told my family I don't want them to come to airport!! My husbands mum lives out in Australia so we are going to be staying with them for a while - they live in north beach. Can;t believe how quick the time is going though. To make matters worse my sister who I am very close to is due a baby on 28th August - just hope she has it before we go. But not sure if that will make it even harder! In fact at this moment in time not sure I will even be able to get on the flight!! let me know how it goes telling everyone - and I will let you know first hand what the good bye was like in September but I am sure it will be bloody awful!
> Gina


Hi Gina,
Oh god you sound so like me. It's awful eh. I feel the same if I feel like this now how can I ever get on the plane. Where in Perth are you heading? Have you been before? It would be good to keep in touch as you are heading to same place. If you are on facebook or have an email address PM me as I'm not always on this site. On facebook I am JaniceTaylor (was Mudd). 
Do you have jobs to go to? 
Good luck for August.
Jan


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## gin (Jun 14, 2009)

No - dont have jobs to go to. I am a primary teacher - my husband in construction. Not even thinking about jobs until we get there. Got to much on my mind already! My husband was originally born in Perth - came over here when he was 6 - so got spouse visa through him. Feel exactly like you - feels like I am going through a grieving process at the moment - horrible feeling - part of me wants time to hurry up so can just go - other part wants it to slow down so it never comes! Really do want to go - am sure it wil be the best decision of our lives - but know it is going to be very hard. One miute think can't wait to go but next I think were doing ok here lets just forget about the idea!!! Know from talking to others that first year will be very very hard - and am preparing myself mentally for that ! I think! Anyway will add you to my facebook now - so can defo stay in touch. Good to be in touch with someone who going through the same thing as its very hard to talk to family about how I'm feeling as there automatic response is don't go! And thats not what I want to hear. We break up from school on 25th July and I am trying very hard to remain calm and collected up to that point!!! Hope all goes well with you Gina


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## kaz101 (Nov 29, 2007)

Janice said:


> Regret the things you do in life, not the things you don't. Ps hope I don't regret this thou..


Moving to Australia was one of the BEST moves we've ever made and neither of us regret it. We've made Australia our home and we love it here.


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## stewart (Jun 21, 2009)

Janice said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Now we have done 2 rekkis to perth and have made a final decision to emigrate in Nov this year. Now I have the awful task of telling everyone especially my parents. This is really taking the shine off the excitment as I know they will be devastated. Although it has been on the cards for a couple of years, it is now much more real. How do people cope saying goodbye, especially at the airport?
> Goin to tell my parents today of our date, wish me luck..


Look on the bright side of it. Your parents and friends have someone to visit for holidays in Aust now.
The worlds a small place these days its not as if if can not go home foer holidays to. lane:


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

stewart said:


> Look on the bright side of it. Your parents and friends have someone to visit for holidays in Aust now.
> The worlds a small place these days its not as if if can not go home foer holidays to. lane:


too right, but try telling my parents that, you would think we were dying, never to be seen again. Im sure they will recover though.... fingers crossed.
jan


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## amaslam (Sep 25, 2008)

My father was rather cross with me when I said I'd move to AU, but my mother was cautiously optimistic. They visited me every year for a few years and once that had happened they mellowed out. 

Families feelings are a tough thing to predict. Some will always hold it against you and others will say 'live and let live', and yet some others will change over time. 

My parents are now both in their 70s and retired but they still visit me and enjoy the AU climate and its pace with me. 



Janice said:


> too right, but try telling my parents that, you would think we were dying, never to be seen again. Im sure they will recover though.... fingers crossed.
> jan


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## GazN (Nov 2, 2008)

Hi,

I moved out here in February and saying goodbye was very hard. As the day got closer, my parents (my father especially) got more upset. Like most people on here, I didn't want to say goodbye at the airport or train station, so we stayed the night before at my parents' house and ordered a taxi to take us from there to the airport.

When the moment came we were all in floods of tears and waving goodbye as the taxi took us down the road was awful. 

Before we went, I'd taken the time to set them up with Skype, email and the like, and I kept in touch during the journey over, letting them know where we were etc, and once we had settled into the hotel we stayed in for the first couple of weeks, I set up a Skype video call. That really helped as, up until then, my last memory of them was of them both in floods of tears probably the most unhappy that I'd ever seen them.

The mood was much better during the Skype call, and it was great to see them smiling again. We now have a weekly call which really helps. Sure, it's not the same as being there, but it means we can see each other, and during birthdays etc, we have opened presents 'online' which is nice. We even made a birthday cake for my mum with a candle she 'blew out' over Skype. Silly things, but it makes it all a bit easier.

I miss them, and I'm looking forward to popping back to visit them sometime next year, but modern technology has made the world a lot smaller .


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

GazN said:


> Hi,
> 
> I moved out here in February and saying goodbye was very hard. As the day got closer, my parents (my father especially) got more upset. Like most people on here, I didn't want to say goodbye at the airport or train station, so we stayed the night before at my parents' house and ordered a taxi to take us from there to the airport.
> 
> ...


Hi,

Hi,

I'm not the greatest with the computer but I get by and have used Skype a few times. How do you set all that up before you go etc, so you can make contact right away. I had it in my head that we wouldn't be able to use the comp until we were settled in a rental with all the phone lines in etc. Any advice much appreciated as it will make things so much easier. Ps loved ya cake idea...
Cheers jan


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## scottishcelts (Aug 5, 2007)

Hello Janice, it's not easy at all, we too had loads of 'goodbye' parties but nothing prepares you for the big journey. I decided to stay strong the whole way through and I never cried once, I convinced myself I was in control and doing a grand job lol

Then the big day arrived and both our families insisted they were coming with us to the airport so that was that. Well I broke down at the airport didn't I and I felt so awful and for a second though I couldn't go through with it. But, of course, once we were on the plane I felt excited (and scared too!) but I couldn't help but feel how unhappy all our family were that we just left at the airport.

NO matter what, it's going to be difficult, just take one day at a time and keep your wits about you and stay strong minded - you will get through it all and once you are on the plane all you can focus on is the road ahead once you land.

I wish you luck


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## GazN (Nov 2, 2008)

Janice said:


> Hi,
> 
> Hi,
> 
> ...


It's easier once you are in a rental etc, but you can do it on the move quite easily these days. I have one of the small "net book" laptops which I took on the flight as hand luggage. I was able to log onto a wireless connection at all airports to send email, and skype and I had made sure that our initial accomodation had a broadband connection too. It wasn't cheap (except for Singapore airport where it was free), but it did mean we could keep in touch. Oh, don't forget to take your charger and plug adapter. Once you are in Australia, quite a few coffee shops have wireless, so you should be able to connect somewhere before your own landline is set up.

Hope that helps,

Gaz.


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

GazN said:


> It's easier once you are in a rental etc, but you can do it on the move quite easily these days. I have one of the small "net book" laptops which I took on the flight as hand luggage. I was able to log onto a wireless connection at all airports to send email, and skype and I had made sure that our initial accomodation had a broadband connection too. It wasn't cheap (except for Singapore airport where it was free), but it did mean we could keep in touch. Oh, don't forget to take your charger and plug adapter. Once you are in Australia, quite a few coffee shops have wireless, so you should be able to connect somewhere before your own landline is set up.
> 
> Hope that helps,
> 
> Gaz.


Okay Cheers for that, Im not so bothered keeping in contact at the airports, but do want to contact everyone once we arrive to see if they are all feeling better and to show them that we are doing fine...
jan


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## anj1976 (Apr 24, 2008)

in my opinion u shud, so they know u r fine and if u break down again they wouldn't tk it very well. u shud contact them with smiling voice so that will make them feel better. they would atleast feel, you are happy and made the right choice


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## twinkle-toes (Mar 29, 2008)

I'm gonna be having that same problem soon. Will be heading for brisbane end september ALONE. will be flying alone/living alone - dunno anyone at all, starting a new adventure. it's frightening and unnerving! eek!

it hasn't sunk in yet, but i know i'll start feeling homesick closer to the time of departure.


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## Janice (Jan 8, 2008)

twinkle-toes said:


> I'm gonna be having that same problem soon. Will be heading for brisbane end september ALONE. will be flying alone/living alone - dunno anyone at all, starting a new adventure. it's frightening and unnerving! eek!
> 
> it hasn't sunk in yet, but i know i'll start feeling homesick closer to the time of departure.


hi there,

You will be fine, I think I am just getting on with things now, sorting the house out because we have rented it out, just wasn't going to sell. Keeping busy is the key. It will be so difficult but it would be more difficult for us to just stay in England and always wonder, what if etc...
Good luck for Sept, let me know how it goes. Do you have a job organised etc, or are you just travelling.
good luck jan


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## twinkle-toes (Mar 29, 2008)

i already have a job there, 2yrs contract. thing is, i have to sort out my own accomodation, etc! 

need to slog hard till sept so i can save up. do buskers earn well in brisbane? haha... just in case..

thanks.. *huggies*


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