# Husbands Can Beat Wife says UAE Federal Court



## Indian_Habibi (Dec 22, 2009)

....provided he leaves no marks on her body, _*AND*_ after he has exhausted two other options: admonition and abstaining from sex
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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

I guess I dont see where this is even news. 

If there are no marks, is there really an issue??


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

Jynx! Of course it's an issue. It is not OK to hit someone even if they do not bruise.

The judgement is ridiculous and that is also the opinion of my Emirati/Arab/Muslim friends.
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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

I am just thinking if my spouse and I get in an argument and slap each other, then it shouldn't be anyone's business what we do. I do believe in spanking ones kids though. I know that lots of people think that is beating kids.  

This is saying, that if someone physically harms someone (realistically, if you hit someone at all very hard, you bruise) they will get in trouble. The ruling is that one can not beat their kids and wife. Am I reading something different? I would think this would sound like a win for women and children in an arabic country.


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

Jynxgirl said:


> I am just thinking if my spouse and I get in an argument and slap each other, then it shouldn't be anyone's business what we do. I do believe in spanking ones kids though. I know that lots of people think that is beating kids.
> 
> This is saying, that if someone physically harms someone (realistically, if you hit someone at all very hard, you bruise) they will get in trouble. The ruling is that one can not beat their kids and wife. Am I reading something different? I would think this would sound like a win for women and children in an arabic country.



No - the ruling is that a man CAN hit his wife and children, but only to the extent that no physical marks are left. 

We are not talking about two adults having a heated argument and a slap, we are talking about a form of court-approved corporal punishment.

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## Rochelle (Sep 20, 2010)

This reminds me of the old police tricks (back in the bad old days) of hitting with phones books etc as it wont cause bruising due to the large surface area of the site of impact.. 

Yuck


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## newbie913 (Aug 31, 2010)

This country’s laws and judgments just become more and more ridiculous day after day!


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## Dozza (Feb 17, 2009)

Elphaba said:


> No - the ruling is that a man CAN hit his wife and children, but only to the extent that no physical marks are left.
> 
> We are not talking about two adults having a heated argument and a slap, we are talking about a form of court-approved corporal punishment.
> 
> -


Beating your wife - Cant really see how this can be accepted in anyway.

Hitting your kids - Cant see the problem with this. I had many kicking & I mean kicking when I was a boy & it never did me any wrong. It taught me right from wrong & also respect. Im not really interested in laws when it comes to this, I will deal with my children how I see fit.

Just my 10 pence worth anyway, im sure some will agree & disagree


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

So it's not OK to hit another adult, but it is alright to beat up small children?? No logic there. It's called bullying when one child does it to another. When an adult does it many know it as child abuse...
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## Dozza (Feb 17, 2009)

Elphaba said:


> So it's not OK to hit another adult, but it is alright to beat up small children?? No logic there. It's called bullying when one child does it to another. When an adult does it many know it as child abuse...
> -


 Did I mention it was OK to "beat up small children"? Think not!

As I stated, some will agree, some will disagree, everyone has there own view point...Personally, this is where I think the world is going wrong, kids do not respect the system...Period!

Looks like I was abused as a child then...Oh well, at least it taught me what was right from wrong!

But on the other hand, some "Adults" could also do with a little of this treatment....


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

Dozza said:


> Did I mention it was OK to "beat up small children"? Think not!
> 
> As I stated, some will agree, some will disagree, everyone has there own view point...Personally, this is where I think the world is going wrong, kids do not respect the system...Period!
> 
> ...


Your exact words were _"Hitting your kids - Cant see the problem with this. I had many kicking & I mean kicking when I was a boy & it never did me any wrong."_

You have clearly stated that you do think that hitting children is not a problem. I, and may others, strongly disagree.

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## MaidenScotland (Jun 6, 2009)

Totally against any form of physical punishment as it does not work... lets face it if it worked you would only have to do it once.

Maiden


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

The rules out here never cease to amaze me!

I have at many times been on the verge of just reacting to what my child is doing and giving him a good spanking to make him stop. But luckily, haven't done so yet because I have found that he is much more receptive when I actually take the trouble of sitting down and explaining to him what and why he is doing something wrong. 

I was spanked as a kid and I remember how it felt. I could never put my child through that and don't see how it makes it right just because we were spanked/kicked/beaten as kids.


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

Quite Pamela. If as an adult you hit a child, how do you explain to them that it is not OK to hit other people? 

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## Mr Rossi (May 16, 2009)

My mother was short of temper and quick with her hands. Sometimes I was out of line, sometimes I wasn't. However the outcome was, pre-teen I was confused by it most of the time, feared her but rarely changed my ways. 

Post-teen, annoyed by it, still confused, still scared but generally got up to the mischief a of teenage boys do. I just learnt to hide it better and keep it away from the front door. 

By late teens/early twenties I was involved in what I suppose a lot of people call anti-social behaviour, so a lifetime of smacking obviously had no effect. While I was given plenty of love and empathy at other times, I did well for for material goods, was fed and our house was clean, it was the smacking that defined a lot of our relationship. 

Only as an adult, when you stop seeing your parents as super-human, can you put something like this into context. Kind of forgive her, wish I didn't have to but such is life I guess and a contant "clip round the lug" is fairly minor in the scale of things to be honest.

Still I would urge any parent not to smack their child, no matter how frustrated you are there are other forms of punishment available, from my own experience you have nothing to gain and everything to loose.


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## Nightshadow (Sep 21, 2010)

Jynxgirl said:


> I guess I dont see where this is even news.
> 
> If there are no marks, is there really an issue??


OMG, youve got to be kidding... haha, seriously?


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

To go back on topic to this, I would think this is a huge step forward in an arabic country to have a court say a husband can not beat his kids and wife. Do individuals not see the step forward in this?


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

Jynx, the court is saying it is OK for him to beat his wife and kids as long as the bruises do not show!


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

I guess I am just going to sit on the other side of the fence. One, I think one should have the right to discipline their children the way they see fit as long as they are not leaving marks. Two, what happens between a man and a wife, as long as she is not being beaten with visible bruises is between them. Three, this is not a western country. 

I had to go reread it again. The court ruling was upheld, and he was disciplined under sharia law. The fact that the court is saying that a man doesnt have the right to beat a woman or child and leave marks is a good thing. I just dont see the issue even after going and reading it again.


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## Iron Horse (Apr 10, 2008)

Pure comedy of a ruling and truly sad from a human standpoint. All I can ask is *W*hiskey *T*ango *F*oxtrot?...OVER

As for me..."I'm a karate man, and karate men bruise on the inside, they don't show their weakness..."


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2010)

Wow. I've been thinking of how to reply to this thread. Where do I even start? OK, let's start with this:

Exactly how is it progress to give men permission to beat women and kids, as long as they don't leave bruises? First of all, if someone is abusive, do you really think he is going to care about the court ruling and stop the beatings, etc. before they leave marks??? NOT. Especially of the woman and her daughter wear burkas - very easy to leave bruises that won't be seen. Who is she gonna complain to? The police? Big deal - so the man gets dragged back into court and gets another slap on the wrist. So that gives him another reason to escalate the abuse and that'll effectively silence her. Chances are it wasn't her that reported it in the first place anyway and she'll be too afraid to report it.

So what if he shakes her until she has brain damage? Or ties her up and makes her live in the basement without food? Or spits on her? Or rapes her? Or threatens to kill the kids if she leaves him? None of that'll leave bruises. Is that OK?

Anyway, that isn't the point. Abuse is abuse. Period. Doesn't matter if there are bruises. Having worked in a shelter for abused women for 8 years, I have seen the survivors of many, many creative types of abuse, most of which didn't leave a bruise. Abusive men can find always ways to control women. And that is what it is about - power and control over the other person. Abuse can be physical, mental, psychological, financial, sexual, etc. May not leave a bruise, but the emotional scars will be there.

The kids will repeat the cycle. Boys will think it's OK to abuse women, and girls will think it's all they deserve. I've seen the damaged kids and it is heartbreaking.

In a healthy relationship, there is no violence and abuse - bottom line. Kids and women don't have to be beaten because the man doesn't think he should have power over them.


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

Jynxgirl said:


> I guess I am just going to sit on the other side of the fence. One, I think one should have the right to discipline their children the way they see fit as long as they are not leaving marks. Two, what happens between a man and a wife, as long as she is not being beaten with visible bruises is between them. Three, this is not a western country.
> 
> I had to go reread it again. The court ruling was upheld, and he was disciplined under sharia law. The fact that the court is saying that a man doesnt have the right to beat a woman or child and leave marks is a good thing. I just dont see the issue even after going and reading it again.


I am really quite shocked by your response. You seriously think it's OK for people to go around hitting each other, and also to hit small children? 

You have really not understood the ruling. The court has said that it is OK for a man to beat his wife. Whether there are marks or not is irrelevant.

I fail to see the relevance of saying that this is not a 'Western' Country. Surely people have the basic right not to be legally beaten no matter where they live?


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## Guest (Oct 20, 2010)

pamela0810 said:


> The rules out here never cease to amaze me!
> 
> I have at many times been on the verge of just reacting to what my child is doing and giving him a good spanking to make him stop. But luckily, haven't done so yet because I have found that he is much more receptive when I actually take the trouble of sitting down and explaining to him what and why he is doing something wrong.
> 
> I was spanked as a kid and I remember how it felt. I could never put my child through that and don't see how it makes it right just because we were spanked/kicked/beaten as kids.


From what I have seen, Damien is a very well behaved little boy (not to mention sweet and charming!) so you are obviously doing the right thing!


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## pamela0810 (Apr 5, 2010)

nola said:


> From what I have seen, Damien is a very well behaved little boy (not to mention sweet and charming!) so you are obviously doing the right thing!


Aww thank you! 
You just made my day!


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Beating and discpline are two very different things. 

"Although the [law] permits the husband to use his right [to discipline], he has to abide by the limits of this right," wrote Chief Justice Falah al Hajeri in a ruling issued this month and released in a court document recently.

"If the husband abuses this right to discipline, he cannot be exempted from punishment," according to the ruling.

Should peoples right to discipline their families be taken away? If a woman gets slapped in the uk or usa (this women's beating was a slap), will the man get in trouble there if there are no marks? If a man spanks his child in the uk or usa, and there is no mark, will they get in trouble? They said the man couldn't leave any marks and was suppose to use other means of discipline first. I am far from a islam/arabic lover, but is this one of those things that it is associated with Islam, so everyone is up in a roar. If they are in such an uproar, then the uk/usa/western people should probly start in their own countries to make a difference to the laws there. 

I know I have been told many many times that this is not a western country and to live here, we are subject to and must live with rules and laws that may seem strange, odd, horrible, harsh, etc. In a region where woman can actually be beaten and killed, this seems like a win for women. I am kind of shocked by some of the responses.


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

We are talking about _this_ ruling. Not about what happens elsewhere and I don't see the relevance. As far as I am concerned, hitting people anywhere is wrong.

Don't even get me started on a man having the right to discipline his wife, as if she was some sort of animal...

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## Veronica (Apr 5, 2008)

Jynx it is obvious you have never been in abusive marriage or you would not be talking such damn nonsense. 

FOR GOODNESS SAKE grow up.


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## Jynxgirl (Nov 27, 2009)

Elphaba said:


> We are talking about _this_ ruling. Not about what happens elsewhere and I don't see the relevance. As far as I am concerned, hitting people anywhere is wrong.
> 
> Don't even get me started on a man having the right to discipline his wife, as if she was some sort of animal...
> 
> -


The ruling isnt that different then other countries laws concerning pretty much the exact same thing. 

Does anyone have an actual link to the ruling and not slanted agenda articles?


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## Elphaba (Jan 24, 2008)

I repeat - what relevance has this to any other country? 

The exact wording of the judgment was quoted in the article.


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## Veronica (Apr 5, 2008)

Jynxgirl said:


> The ruling isnt that different then other countries laws concerning pretty much the exact same thing.
> 
> Does anyone have an actual link to the ruling and not slanted agenda articles?


You are still talking nonsense I see. It is NOT legal to hit your wife in any civilised country.


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## Rochelle (Sep 20, 2010)

I also agree with the wording being terrible ....'discipline'. Urgh.. sickening


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