# Urgent help - please



## JJ30 (May 19, 2012)

Am in a very very bad place right now and I need your help.

My relationship has broken down and I need to go back to the UK. The problem is I have a dog here in Spain and the accommodation that I'm going back to in the UK does not allow pets... It is making my current situation harder knowing that I have to rehouse my dog. I so want to take him with me but I just cannot do that.

I've not been in Spain for too long (in all honesty I've been a bit of a fool - but that doesn't help the current situation). So I don't know about retiming or anything like that. Can anybody please help me?


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

JJ30 said:


> Am in a very very bad place right now and I need your help.
> 
> My relationship has broken down and I need to go back to the UK. The problem is I have a dog here in Spain and the accommodation that I'm going back to in the UK does not allow pets... It is making my current situation harder knowing that I have to rehouse my dog. I so want to take him with me but I just cannot do that.
> 
> I've not been in Spain for too long (in all honesty I've been a bit of a fool - but that doesn't help the current situation). So I don't know about retiming or anything like that. Can anybody please help me?


I don't know where you are but the dog refuges around here are all full

there are some facebook groups which might help - if you put 'dogs spain' & search for groups there are several


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## snikpoh (Nov 19, 2007)

You may do better taking the dog back to England and then try the RSPCA (or similar).


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

JJ30 said:


> Am in a very very bad place right now and I need your help.
> 
> My relationship has broken down and I need to go back to the UK. The problem is I have a dog here in Spain and the accommodation that I'm going back to in the UK does not allow pets... It is making my current situation harder knowing that I have to rehouse my dog. I so want to take him with me but I just cannot do that.
> 
> I've not been in Spain for too long (in all honesty I've been a bit of a fool - but that doesn't help the current situation). So I don't know about retiming or anything like that. Can anybody please help me?


Where do you live? It's possible that an animal rescue centre may be able to take in your dog. I help run such a shelter near Estepona but we are currently closed to new admissions because of illness.

I must say that we would urge anyone in your position to do everything possible to take your dog to the UK with you. The laws have been changed so it's easy to do so.

We have heard from quite a few people recently that the accommodation they're are going into in the UK 'won't accept pets'. Could you not find another place to live? Many landlords don't like children but I don't think anyone would simply leave a child.

If I sound rather harsh, I'm sure you will understand why. We see so many sad and bewildered dogs who don't understand why their previous owners/companions whatever have dumped them with strangers.

My dog is my friend, my companion and my responsibility. I'm sure you are distressed enough at the breakdown of your relationship.....losing your pet will surely add to this. Please do all you can to keep your dog with you....


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

snikpoh said:


> You may do better taking the dog back to England and then try the RSPCA (or similar).


Dogs Trust would be better...they never euthanise a healthy dog.


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## Solwriter (Jan 10, 2012)

Hi JJ30,
sorry to hear about your plight.
Do you have relatives or friends in the UK who could take in your dog for you?
At least then you could still see your dog on a regular basis and maybe even find somewhere dog friendly to stay as soon as you sort yourself out (although I know that will not be easy, given that the vast majority of UK landlords do not want to take pets of any description).

As to the rest of your question about returning to the UK.
I'm not sure what you need to know, so it's difficult to answer you.
Perhaps if you are more specific we can help.

I would also look at the UK part of this forum. There may be someone there who can help you with this.

Hope things turn out ok for you.

Edit: There may be a way around the problem with your dog....
There are many people in the UK offering rooms to stay, house shares, etc, who are a little more dog-friendly.
Have a look at websites like http://www.spareroom.co.uk/ or Google something like flat shares, rooms to rent, house shares UK, etc.

On many of these websites, you will find that the person letting the accommodation will say whether they accept a pet (quite a few of them do).
So a phone call to the person advertising might be helpful.
Hope so anyway


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## Stravinsky (Aug 12, 2007)

I think maybe we are missing an important point?

Does the dog have a pet passport, and has it got all its injections up to date?
If not, then taking it back to the UK may well result in a few difficulties, i.e. the dog having a long stay with the authorities there


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

Stravinsky said:


> I think maybe we are missing an important point?
> 
> Does the dog have a pet passport, and has it got all its injections up to date?
> If not, then taking it back to the UK may well result in a few difficulties, i.e. the dog having a long stay with the authorities there


yes there is that........ but all that can be arranged very quickly now - a couple of weeks I believe?

edit........ apparently 3 weeks according to defra


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

xabiachica said:


> yes there is that........ but all that can be arranged very quickly now - a couple of weeks I believe?
> 
> edit........ apparently 3 weeks according to defra


Speaking generally from experience and certainly not with reference to the OPof whose circumstances I know nothing.......many of the people who ask us to take in their dogs simply don't want the hassle and expense. Many of them haven't bothered to register, chip or get a passport for their dogs.

If people thought about the trauma the poor unwanted dog goes through when it is left at a shelter...in a pen with other dogs, bereft of most of its creature comforts, separated from the humans it loved.
We do our best to put 'friendly' dogs together and minimise fights and squabbles but the more dogs we have, the more difficult it is to do that and we sometimes get fights resulting in injuries and even fatalities. 

I'm not a sentimental person, far from it, but it really hurts when you see a dog looking on in utter incomprehension as its owner drives away....then you find it day after day, sitting by the door of the pen, not socialising with other dogs and clinging to any human visitor.


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## thrax (Nov 13, 2008)

mrypg9 said:


> Speaking generally from experience and certainly not with reference to the OPof whose circumstances I know nothing.......many of the people who ask us to take in their dogs simply don't want the hassle and expense. Many of them haven't bothered to register, chip or get a passport for their dogs.
> 
> If people thought about the trauma the poor unwanted dog goes through when it is left at a shelter...in a pen with other dogs, bereft of most of its creature comforts, separated from the humans it loved.
> We do our best to put 'friendly' dogs together and minimise fights and squabbles but the more dogs we have, the more difficult it is to do that and we sometimes get fights resulting in injuries and even fatalities.
> ...


I like this post but don't like it, if you see what I mean. We see so many dogs that have been left at bins and every time you drive up you see the look of excitement and expectation on their faces only for them to return to being distraught. I cannot understand how people can simply dump dogs or any animals. These people have no feelings or humanity within them, imo. The op is in a clearly different situation and I think the advice to take the dog back to UK is probably the best advice given. There is far more hope for a dog who has to be given up in the UK than here in Spain.


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## donz (May 5, 2010)

totally agree - I don't know of any shelter that has room down here on the Malaga - Estepona coast. PADs has closed its doors to new admissions also. ACE have been full for ages as are Triple AAA. The Malaga perrera I am not sure about but I have heard about the 30 day rule possibly existing there (although not confirmed) 
AID are very small and rarely have room, 4 paws is full, F.A.M.A are full, even Los Barrios are full all the way down that neck of the woods.

Everybody I know that can help is full to bursting with fosters because there is no room in the shelters.

Yet people keep breeding or not havig their dogs speyed/neuteured and people keep leaving dogs behind - makes me cross :boxing:

PLEASE PLEASE get the pet passport it's MUCH cheaper here and wait the 21 days to get him to the UK with you. There ARE landlords out there that will take a dog - offer references, a higher deposit and say you'll be going to training classes. I know there are landlords out there that will - I had 6 dogs and had not too many issues in renting 2 separate houses until I moved here. TRY....................PLEASE!!!!


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

donz said:


> totally agree - I don't know of any shelter that has room down here on the Malaga - Estepona coast. PADs has closed its doors to new admissions also. ACE have been full for ages as are Triple AAA. The Malaga perrera I am not sure about but I have heard about the 30 day rule possibly existing there (although not confirmed)
> AID are very small and rarely have room, 4 paws is full, F.A.M.A are full, even Los Barrios are full all the way down that neck of the woods.
> 
> Everybody I know that can help is full to bursting with fosters because there is no room in the shelters.
> ...



Well said.:clap2:

I cannot for the life of me understand people who will take their clothes, CDs, other possessions back with them but the dog.....no, someone else can have him/her....never mind that s/he has been my companion for several years. 

It's about time we stopped being mealy-mouthed about this. Dogs are not toys, objects, accessories....they are living creatures with feelings, more so than some who carelessly abandon them. If there is the slightest possibility that your circumstances may change...don't acquire a dog!! It is not a life-style accoutrement. We waited eleven years after our much-loved Ferdinand died before getting Our Little Azor. Why? Because the circumstances weren't right...OH was running two businesses, I had a full-time job and political commitments. We so badly wanted a dog...but it wouldn't have been fair on him/her.

Our shelter has had forty abandoned dogs brought in this month. We now have just under one hundred and eighty. Feeding, giving vetinerary care, paying staff wages all cost money, money we have to get from the public in one way or other. We NEVER turn a dog away because we know that if we do it will more likely than not end up wandering the streets or the campo, starved, dying of thirst.

I'm sorry if this offends -actually I'm not - but if you have a dog it is your responsibility to care for that creature which has needs and feelings like you. I could compile a book of the reasons people give for wanting to dump their dogs - to get them off their hands, because that's what they are doing, ridding themselves of an unwanted encumbrance.

I will state categorically that there is no imaginable situation or contingency wherein I would abandon my dog. I love him, he loves and depends on me and OH. It would simply break my heart to lose him and no way am I a sentimental person.

So...if offence is caused, so be it. Perhaps a visit to our shelter would help people understand in very stark terms just what it means -to a dog - to be abandoned like an old sofa.


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## dunmovin (Dec 19, 2008)

I'm a bit confused.... I've read the op's post several times now and find no suggestion that the dog would be abandoned.

The relationship is breaking down, so why is the partner not willing to share responsiblity (partner keeps dog until suitable accomodation can be found in the UK)?

Yes,I have the same disdain for people who move away and leave their pets behind (personally I believe such people should have a wire brush shoved up a place, where only the most skilled proctologist would find it)
Mary, you KNOW the story of our wee dog,but let's not scare the op off. Does the dog have a passport from the outbound journey? If so How long since it arrived?


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

dunmovin said:


> I'm a bit confused.... I've read the op's post several times now and find no suggestion that the dog would be abandoned.
> 
> The relationship is breaking down, so why is the partner not willing to share responsiblity (partner keeps dog until suitable accomodation can be found in the UK)?
> 
> ...





I did say I was generalising and not referring to the OP....although s/he does seem to be looking for someone to take over responsibility for the dog. which is his/hers, after all.

If the dog doesn't have a passport and microchip the owner has not complied with current legislation. Whatever the circumstances that to me betokens a certain irresponsibility.

I'm very 'hard-line' on this for obvious reasons - we hear the hard-luck stories and are left to cope with a sad, bewildered dog ....plus the cost of looking after it, something that rarely occurs to these people who think they can just leave a dog at a shelter and walk away.

Sadly not everyone is like you, PW and other kind souls. How is your wee dog, btw?


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## dunmovin (Dec 19, 2008)

mrypg9 said:


> I did say I was generalising and not referring to the OP....although s/he does seem to be looking for someone to take over responsibility for the dog. which is his/hers, after all.
> 
> If the dog doesn't have a passport and microchip the owner has not complied with current legislation. Whatever the circumstances that to me betokens a certain irresponsibility.
> 
> ...


at a best guess, she is 14 years old, still won't eat dog food, only fresh cooked chicken, pork or steak,still wants cheese or raw pepper for a snack. When I take her into town, the night before, I put a bottle of water in the freezer so she has cold water when we get back to the car and I can do a 5 minute run through mercadonna so still doing great, thanks


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## JJ30 (May 19, 2012)

So, I am the OP and I've just come back to this after a few days away to get myself sorted out. I will make a few points (because I am HOPPING mad at some of the comments made):

1. I came on here to ask for help, NOT to be lectured from some faceless person who does not know MY situation. I thought the whole point of this forum was to help people, not lecture.

2. I LOVE my dog, just adore him and the thought of leaving him with my ex was a horrid prospect. It was tying me up in knots.

3. My situation is that I found out that I'm pregnant and my ex didn't want to know - so I had a whole host of emotions flowing though me.

4. My dog complies with all legislation, I've had him from a wee baby and he's had all his injections, rabies and he's microchipped.

5. Do not compare me to others - everybody's situation is unique, some handle the situation well and some don't when it comes to pets.

6. When I got my doggy my relationship (or so I thought) was secure and good. I thought long and hard before I got him.

So, it's totally not fair that some people judge me without knowing the full facts. 

Over the last few days I've come to terms with my situation and have decided to stay here in Spain, mainly because I couldn't even contemplate leaving my son behind.

So, my future? I don't know, but I know I have a dear little boy who loves me unconditionally (so much more than some humans) and that is all I need for now.

It is very easy to sit in front of your computer and judge people - just remember what this forum is all about, helping fellow expats. Period. 

I thank the folks who actually gave me some constructive help but I will no longer use this forum because of the comments of one person. I've seen your comments to others on this forum too and you criticise WAY too easily. 

Just saying.


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## familymove (Jun 7, 2012)

It is very easy to sit in front of your computer and judge people - just remember what this forum is all about, helping fellow expats. Period.

I thank the folks who actually gave me some constructive help but I will no longer use this forum because of the comments of one person. I've seen your comments to others on this forum too and you criticise WAY too easily.

Just saying.[/QUOTE]

Well said, I hope everything works out for you x


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## zilly (Mar 9, 2010)

I hope that everything works out for you--you asked for help and you got a lecture.Good luck for the future. x


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## donz (May 5, 2010)

The problem is that some us really DO know the situation here and have been dumped on time and time again. Yes there are different situations but you know what, I run a pet lodge (not a rescue centre) and I am sick to death of people dumping their 'problem' on me. I have had people leave their dogs here on holiday and never returning - making it then MY problem to find a fabulous new home for their dog/s.

One of these so called caring people called himself a dog trainer and prior to leaving, had told his customers that he had actually put one of the animals he abandoned with us to sleep. We obviously were able to prove that person a liar. The other he fraudulently obtained from a rescue centre! Having had this issue a few times, we now have to really screen new clients sadly 

So you may or may not forgive me for telling it like it is :confused2: The rescues ARE full, and the kind souls out there ARE snowed under with fosters. I will be over the moon with delight if you are able to keep your furbaby  it's the most fab thing if you can, but it's a certainty that you need to also be in the know about the situ you face in trying to find a new home for your furry pal should you decide you can't keep him.

I know it's a hard thing to face and when life just seems to be slapping you around for a while the last thing you need is more negative news but for those of us working in the industry it just breaks our hearts to see these poor souls being left. The things I could tell you about what people have done because they upped and left I could scream!! 

People on here DO want to help, but many of us hear/see this story often and often the dog is abandoned rather than found a perfect new home and it's frustrating for us. Hope your pal can keep you going through your tough time - a dogs love is great for clearing away your tears


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## Solwriter (Jan 10, 2012)

JJ30 said:


> So, I am the OP and I've just come back to this after a few days away to get myself sorted out. I will make a few points (because I am HOPPING mad at some of the comments made):
> 
> 1. I came on here to ask for help, NOT to be lectured from some faceless person who does not know MY situation. I thought the whole point of this forum was to help people, not lecture.
> 
> ...


I'm sorry that you feel angry with some replies on this thread, especially as you are going through a very stressful time right now.

I hope that my answer was one of the more helpful ones, and, even though you have now decided to stay in Spain, I hope it is helpful for someone else reading this who might be going through a similar situation. 

It's a shame that you feel you cannot come back to this forum, but I think there is an 'ignore' option for any poster you would rather not read. .
Having said that, I do think it was made clear, even in the harsher posts, that no one was saying that _you personally_ were an irresponsible dog owner. However, I can see how you may have felt that it did.

I think the problem is that you opened a debate that is dear to the hearts of quite a few posters on here.

So, I hope you change your mind and come back to post now and again.

And I do wish you lots of luck for the future, for you, for your dog and over the months of your pregnancy and beyond.

Take care

Sol


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

JJ30 said:


> So, I am the OP and I've just come back to this after a few days away to get myself sorted out. I will make a few points (because I am HOPPING mad at some of the comments made):
> 
> 1. I came on here to ask for help, NOT to be lectured from some faceless person who does not know MY situation. I thought the whole point of this forum was to help people, not lecture.
> 
> ...


You should read carefully before you react.I made it clear that I was not referring to you personally. I don't know your circumstances...as I said.

* I did say I was generalising and not referring to the OP....although s/he does seem to be looking for someone to take over responsibility for the dog. which is his/hers, after all.*

Can you read and understand that?????


But I stand by my comments because they reflect reality. Some people don't like being told things that upset them...tough. I get upset every time someone dumps a dog on our shelter. 

We are very adept, we humans, at finding reasons for doing unpleasant things, to each other and to animals.

No need to leave the forum, put me on ignore.There are people who will sympathise with you. I reserve my right to criticise and comment adversely....and respect the right of others to criticise me. This isn't Womans Own ...people on this site have opinions and some others dislike them. That's life. Meanwhile, those of us at the sharp end will continue dealing with what are essentially human problems.

I note that not everyone disagrees with me. Before you criticise you should read carefully what has actually been written which was a general condemnation of how some people treat dogs and note that I took care to exclude you from these remarks.

Jesus wept....


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

JJ30 said:


> So, I am the OP and I've just come back to this after a few days away to get myself sorted out. I will make a few points (because I am HOPPING mad at some of the comments made):
> 
> 1. I came on here to ask for help, NOT to be lectured from some faceless person who does not know MY situation. I thought the whole point of this forum was to help people, not lecture.
> 
> ...


You should read carefully before you react.I made it clear that I was not referring to you personally. I don't know your circumstances...as I said. Please show where I compared you to other people....I find your reply somewhat strange. Are you denying that leaving a dog is a bad thing???

But I stand by my comments because they reflect reality. Some people don't like being told things that upset them...tough. I get upset every time someone dumps a dog on our shelter.

We are very adept, we humans, at finding reasons for doing unpleasant things, to each other and to animals.

No need to leave the forum, put me on ignore.There are people who will sympathise with you. Meanwhile, those of us at the sharp end will continue dealing with what are essentially human problems.

I note that not everyone disagrees with me. Before you criticise you should read carefully what has actually been written which was a general condemnation of how some people treat dogs and note that I took care tio exclude you from these remarks.

Jesus wept....


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

familymove said:


> It is very easy to sit in front of your computer and judge people - just remember what this forum is all about, helping fellow expats. Period.
> 
> I thank the folks who actually gave me some constructive help but I will no longer use this forum because of the comments of one person. I've seen your comments to others on this forum too and you criticise WAY too easily.
> 
> Just saying.


Well said, I hope everything works out for you x[/QUOTE]

Like the OP you have misread an misunderstood my comments.

But get this clear: I do not 'sit in front of my computer and judge people' - although perhaps you do since you have clearly decided to judge me.

I help run a rescue charity for abandoned dogs. This shelter is funded entirely from public donation. I and my fellow helpers have to raise over 7000 euros a month as well as care for the dogs, sweep out their ****.... 

If you had any empathy you would understand my feelings about people - note I said 'people' who abandon dogs. People in similar situations -like Donz - understand only too well.

As I said, if you don't like what I write...ignore. I'm used to saying what I think. 
The remedy lies in your hands, as in mine. That's how this Forum has been constructed. If you want to see examples of truly unacceptable posts, you should look at a few other Forums.

I wasn't too keen on what you posted as being told I judge from my computer doesn't go down too well when clearing out stinking pens in 40C heat.


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## dunmovin (Dec 19, 2008)

JJ30 said:


> So, I am the OP and I've just come back to this after a few days away to get myself sorted out. I will make a few points (because I am HOPPING mad at some of the comments made):
> 
> 1. I came on here to ask for help, NOT to be lectured from some faceless person who does not know MY situation. I thought the whole point of this forum was to help people, not lecture.
> 
> ...


I don't think the comments were directed at you, but merely a generalisation of what frequently happens.

Mary, as do the who have to deal with the problem, sometimes get a bit "hot under the collar"about abandonded dogs, rightly so, I,on the other hand prefer to wait until the situation is fully explained (for which I am grateful you have given. Thank You).


dunmovin said:


> I'm a bit confused.... I've read the op's post several times now and *find no suggestion that the dog would be abandoned.*
> 
> The relationship is breaking down, so why is the partner not willing to share responsiblity (partner keeps dog until suitable accomodation can be found in the UK)?
> 
> ...


In forums like this, where you are seeking help,try to be as complete inthe info given so we can give best adivice


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## jojo (Sep 20, 2007)

Ok, I've not read the whole of this thread, I dont want anyone to feel that they've been insulted tho, but do remember that we're all different with different opinions, some we wont all agree with...... heck, thats life! Dont take offence 

I'll probably get slaughtered by my view, but I AM an animal lover. If I couldnt have taken my very precious pooches back to the UK, I'm fairly certain I'd have had them put down rather than face an uncertain and possibly unhappy future!

Jo xxx


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Thankyou, Jo and DunRomin.

As I said and you also made clear, my comments were a general statement about people who abandon their pets.
We do sometimes accept dogs from people going back to the UK but only rarely and if the circumstances are extreme and the dog isn't chipped - otherwise they would most likely abandon it. We do try and extract money from them towards the running of our perrera.

I think I'm going to change my Forum ID....to .something like 'Estepona Witch' or 'perra loca'...
Far too many people who fail to read posts carefully and are hyper-sensitive.

Any other suggestions?


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

Incidentally, am setting off at 07.00 tomorrow morning to deliver a dog to the airport on its way to a new home in Holland. 
I'm not keen on these early trips which thankfully are few but it's so good to see a once abandoned dog go to caring owners - we always get a video clip of the dog's arrival at the new home.
You can see some of these clips on our Facebook page ADANA give a Dog a Home.
We are always looking for volunteers to join our airport teams. Expenses paid from the perrera to the airport and back.


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## mrypg9 (Apr 26, 2008)

*Where do you live? It's possible that an animal rescue centre may be able to take in your dog. I help run such a shelter near Estepona but we are currently closed to new admissions because of illness.

I must say that we would urge anyone in your position to do everything possible to take your dog to the UK with you. The laws have been changed so it's easy to do so.

We have heard from quite a few people recently that the accommodation they're are going into in the UK 'won't accept pets'. Could you not find another place to live? Many landlords don't like children but I don't think anyone would simply leave a child.

If I sound rather harsh, I'm sure you will understand why. We see so many sad and bewildered dogs who don't understand why their previous owners/companions whatever have dumped them with strangers.

My dog is my friend, my companion and my responsibility. I'm sure you are distressed enough at the breakdown of your relationship.....losing your pet will surely add to this. Please do all you can to keep your dog with you.... *


I've just been reading through this thread and that was my original post....Anyone who can take offence at that is hyper-sensitive.

I think the thread should now be closed, perhaps?


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