# To those living in rural France: Would you describe it as homophobic?



## frenchfarmingdream

Sorry for the awkward question. This mainly concerns central France: Centre-Val de Loire, Limousin, Auvergne etc.

My partner and I (both women, mid 20s) are looking into potentially moving to France in the next five years. We both adore French cuisine, culture, speak a decent amount of French each (though by no means fluent yet!) and after spending many happy summers there both as children we really feel a calling there. 

The main appealing factor is that we want to live rurally on a homestead/small farm. We are both from the West Country and have farming in our blood, however neither of our parents could continue it due to the cost of land. We've also become a bit disillusioned with the massive influx of people into our respective counties and want to relocate to somewhere with small communities. My parents have mentioned they would be interested in joining us if it was successful.

We're no way near moving yet - just exploring options, but as I don't personally know anyone from rural France I worry that we may not be accepted by our neighbours or make them uncomfortable. We have personally never had any problems when visiting but generally have checked hosts were friendly before staying.

Again sorry if this is inappropriate!


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## conky2

I don't believe so. I live in a small rural community on the Auvergne/Centre-Val de Loire border and find the locals very welcoming (bearing in mind that I am an old single bloke....). They will be curious for sure, but that goes for the influx here locally of Dutch , Belgian and the odd brit invader. You will just need to follow the usual rules of social etiquette ,- politeness , friendly and not looking to change the world and I think you would be fine.


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## frenchfarmingdream

conky2 said:


> I don't believe so. I live in a small rural community on the Auvergne/Centre-Val de Loire border and find the locals very welcoming (bearing in mind that I am an old single bloke....). They will be curious for sure, but that goes for the influx here locally of Dutch , Belgian and the odd brit invader. You will just need to follow the usual rules of social etiquette ,- politeness , friendly and not looking to change the world and I think you would be fine.


Thank you so much for your reply!

That's so good to hear! We're really looking to settle down into a community (have kids and whatnot) so welcoming and curious sounds perfect. Definitely not trying to change the world, although I've been told my homemade mead is pretty life changing!


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## Clic Clac

frenchfarmingdream said:


> Thank you so much for your reply!
> 
> although I've been told my homemade mead is pretty life changing!


Don't mention boooze to Conky.
He'll be round there on his tractor mower. 😊


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## conky2

Clic Clac said:


> Don't mention boooze to Conky.
> He'll be round there on his tractor mower. 😊


I am already revving it up........


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## Franco-Belgian Brit

An ex-colleague of my wife is gay and lives with his husband quite happily in a rural area of the Drome department. No problems.


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## LFBEUSTON

I live in the Pays Basque and and the people are most welcoming. No matter where you go there will be someone who doesn't like 'foreigners'. The only problem I ever heard of was, I think, in the Dordogne many years ago where, because of so many Brits, the locals held demonstrations about the numbers of them. Nothing too serious I hasten to add and in fact I sympathised with them. If you want truly to integrate then stay away from enclaves of any nationality. I don't know of any other Brits in my region or come to that any foreigners at all though almost certainly there must be a few. Like me though, if there are, they want to be amongst the French not other Brits. I always bear in mind that I am the 'foreigner and that my opinions on French issues should, by and large, be kept to myself, unless of course it compliments France then that is a definite plus to making friends.


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## Bevdeforges

In my experience with the French, I have to say that they are very much live-and-let-live unless someone is too "pushy" about their own beliefs or lifestyle. It sometimes seems like a giant "don't ask, don't tell" environment. But the French are very private folks at the best of times. Even those who "disapprove" of a neighbor's lifestyle will usually behave in a courteous manner toward them unless things get "too" obvious or infringe on others' rights.


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## Peasant

You'd probably get more flak from the locals if you were vegetarian than if you're gay.
Gay they can understand, but not eat meat?


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## BackinFrance

frenchfarmingdream said:


> Sorry for the awkward question. This mainly concerns central France: Centre-Val de Loire, Limousin, Auvergne etc.
> 
> My partner and I (both women, mid 20s) are looking into potentially moving to France in the next five years. We both adore French cuisine, culture, speak a decent amount of French each (though by no means fluent yet!) and after spending many happy summers there both as children we really feel a calling there.
> 
> The main appealing factor is that we want to live rurally on a homestead/small farm. We are both from the West Country and have farming in our blood, however neither of our parents could continue it due to the cost of land. We've also become a bit disillusioned with the massive influx of people into our respective counties and want to relocate to somewhere with small communities. My parents have mentioned they would be interested in joining us if it was successful.
> 
> We're no way near moving yet - just exploring options, but as I don't personally know anyone from rural France I worry that we may not be accepted by our neighbours or make them uncomfortable. We have personally never had any problems when visiting but generally have checked hosts were friendly before staying.
> 
> Again sorry if this is inappropriate!


Don't worry about homophobia.

Farming is not easy in France, especially for small farmers. In reality locals are far more likely to think you know nothing about farming in France and will likely be unsuccessful. However if you buy an existing small farm from someone who is looking to retire and has no family member ready to take over, that farmer may well be prepared to stay on, even for as long as a year, to help you find your feet, get to know local suppliers and best ways to sell your produce etc

There are lots of women running farms in France, some gay, some not. It is more likely to be male farmers and other men you will need to deal with in the business of farming who will say that you are not up to it because you are women or try to get the better of you price wise than anything to do with being gay.


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## boilerman

Peasant said:


> You'd probably get more flak from the locals if you were vegetarian than if you're gay.
> Gay they can understand, but not eat meat?


This is my experience, not so much flak, as bewilderment


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## Poloss

I've lived for years in rural France and only once witnessed homophobic behaviour toward a bee-keeper in a small village
and then exclusively by his neighbour.
I'd certainly agree with above posts by Peasant & Bev among others 
in that as long as you don't flagrantly display your private life to one and all, nobody will bother you about it.

There's a popular weekly TV program on French channel M6 called "l'amour est dans le pré" which does match-making for solo farmers; there are regularly gay participants too.

The factors which are likely to cause friction with locals are elsewhere - disregarding traditions, breaking verbal engagements and displaying contempt for the local way of life.
Being intransigeant with local hunters can very quickly lead to never ending problems.

Modern agriculture is going through a lasting crisis leading to much distress among farmers, 
many of whom are heavily in debt and are often obliged to unwillingly follow the instructions of their bank 
if they want to stay afloat.
Long hours, very little remuneration, an immense solitude and often a feeling of pointlessness complete the picture.

More recently the increasingly hostile public opinion to farmers regarding the use of water, pesticides and fertilisers has put them on the defensive regarding outsiders.
The sense of pride and fulfillment stemming from doing an eminently useful job has also diminished.

I live in a very rural part of the Limousin, where cattle, sheep, fodder, cereals, grazing land and forestry 
are the traditional staples. Farmers are really the backbone of society here.

To get along well, all you need is a little empathy and above all refrain from being supercilious - all the "backward, inbred, peasant" epithets are of no use at all - although farmers may well use them among themselves!
but if you're from agricultural stock in the west country, you'll already know about all that


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## Bevdeforges

Just one small caveat here - France is known as a "bureaucratic" place, and for good reason. In order to be a farmer here, you need to be registered with the proper agencies, including the "agricultural" social insurance agencies (start with the MSA - Mutualité sociale agricole)

This site looks like it could be useful: Agriculture pour les Débutants – Comment devenir agriculteur – le Guide Complet and is available in several different languages.


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## frenchfarmingdream

LFBEUSTON said:


> I live in the Pays Basque and and the people are most welcoming. No matter where you go there will be someone who doesn't like 'foreigners'. The only problem I ever heard of was, I think, in the Dordogne many years ago where, because of so many Brits, the locals held demonstrations about the numbers of them. Nothing too serious I hasten to add and in fact I sympathised with them. If you want truly to integrate then stay away from enclaves of any nationality. I don't know of any other Brits in my region or come to that any foreigners at all though almost certainly there must be a few. Like me though, if there are, they want to be amongst the French not other Brits. I always bear in mind that I am the 'foreigner and that my opinions on French issues should, by and large, be kept to myself, unless of course it compliments France then that is a definite plus to making friends.


Thank you for your response, this thread has been so kind! 

I'm originally from Cornwall so can sympathise with them, seeing your community being taken over by people who aren't from there and changing the culture is heart breaking! We have a term for British who come down and disrespect the locals -"emmets". My partner and I would hate to be part of ruining another local community and have agreed that if we were to move out there we would be looking to completely integrate.

Thank you for your advice!


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## frenchfarmingdream

BackinFrance said:


> Don't worry about homophobia.
> 
> Farming is not easy in France, especially for small farmers. In reality locals are far more likely to think you know nothing about farming in France and will likely be unsuccessful. However if you buy an existing small farm from someone who is looking to retire and has no family member ready to take over, that farmer may well be prepared to stay on, even for as long as a year, to help you find your feet, get to know local suppliers and best ways to sell your produce etc
> 
> There are lots of women running farms in France, some gay, some not. It is more likely to be male farmers and other men you will need to deal with in the business of farming who will say that you are not up to it because you are women or try to get the better of you price wise than anything to do with being gay.


I'm well aware it will be a difficult task, our two main options we've been looking at are starting very small and expanding as we know more (hence homesteading) or as you say finding a farmer whose looking to retire. Other options would be diversifying (gites etc) or small production of spirits etc. 

We're both saving as much as we can (minus our upcoming wedding) so that we would have some fiscal "runway" so to speak to account for our inevitable blind spots. We also know a few local famers and are hoping to do some unpaid shadowing (sheep and arable) to get some experience, but as this would be in England you're spot on about the things like suppliers, selling, local regs etc which we've only really just started to look into. 

As the name would suggest this is really a dream right now - trying to fact find as much as possible! 

Thanks for your advice and response!!


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## Clic Clac

frenchfarmingdream said:


> Other options would be diversifying (*gites etc*) or small production of spirits etc.


You were doing great until you mentioned the 'G Word'. 
(In joke around these parts.)

I think the way ahead is 'Quality & Local'.

Back home my local butcher used to have a blackboard with the name of the farmer & his farm where the product had come from.
Usually within 5 miles of the shop.
Even Lidl have started doing it here, but over a regional area.
I try not to put my hard-earned into supporting factory farming. People want to know it's had a decent life.


You'll have to check what's already available in your chosen area (so you're not treading on toes), or follow on from what the previous owner was doing
to begin with.

Mead sounds good. Are you 'into' bees? Honey, candles.....

Or snails.


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## Lalla

I'm acquainted with two gay couples (guys) who run YouTube channels about restoring châteaux and have never heard either couple say anything about encountering homophobia in the time they've been in France.


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## Franco-Belgian Brit

Peasant said:


> You'd probably get more flak from the locals if you were vegetarian than if you're gay.
> Gay they can understand, but not eat meat?


I'm vegan, but not by choice. When I explain it's for medical reasons, I tend to get an understanding response.

They do love an ailment in France


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## frenchfarmingdream

Poloss said:


> I've lived for years in rural France and only once witnessed homophobic behaviour toward a bee-keeper in a small village and then exclusively by his neighbour. I'd certainly agree with above posts by Peasant & Bev among others
> in that as long as you don't flagrantly display your private life to one and all, nobody will bother you about it.
> 
> There's a popular weekly TV program on French channel M6 called "l'amour est dans le pré" which does match-making for solo farmers; there are regularly gay participants too.
> 
> The factors which are likely to cause friction with locals are elsewhere - disregarding traditions, breaking verbal engagements and displaying contempt for the local way of life.
> Being intransigeant with local hunters can very quickly lead to never ending problems.
> 
> Modern agriculture is going through a lasting crisis leading to much distress among farmers,
> many of whom are heavily in debt and are often obliged to unwillingly follow the instructions of their bank
> if they want to stay afloat.
> Long hours, very little remuneration, an immense solitude and often a feeling of pointlessness complete the picture.
> 
> More recently the increasingly hostile public opinion to farmers regarding the use of water, pesticides and fertilisers has put them on the defensive regarding outsiders.
> The sense of pride and fulfillment stemming from doing an eminently useful job has also diminished.
> 
> I live in a very rural part of the Limousin, where cattle, sheep, fodder, cereals, grazing land and forestry
> are the traditional staples. Farmers are really the backbone of society here.
> 
> To get along well, all you need is a little empathy and above all refrain from being supercilious - all the "backward, inbred, peasant" epithets are of no use at all - although farmers may well use them among themselves!
> but if you're from agricultural stock in the west country, you'll already know about all that


Thank you for your response, all the info is really helpful!

We've seeing looking at Limousin a lot, the prices for farms for sale there honestly blew us away! A 100 acre farm was asking for around £350k and a comparable one here was asking for £4.5 million - not that we'd ever get something that big! 

Financial viability is what we're most concerned about. From what we've gathered from our farming friends here organic and high quality is the way to go, and if that fails turn one of your fields into a campsite - bonus points if its an eco-campsite. On a serious note, I think we're going to have to put together a few different business plans and do some networking with locals ask humbly ask for their advice. 

I'm surprised to hear you say that pride has diminished. It might just be my personal experience but farming is still seen as a great thing to do for yourself and community. Really sad to hear that they're not getting the respect they deserve.

On the personal side, my partner hates people, loves working dog breeds and starts pacing the house when she's not doing a task, so I think her temperament is perfect for farming!

As for the inbred and peasant jokes, I'm much more used to those being aimed at me haha! My grandad's house initially had a pigsty attached that was then converted into part of the house (it was a cob house dating from 1800s I think) so you can imagine all the jokes that came along with that.

Thanks again!


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## frenchfarmingdream

Bevdeforges said:


> Just one small caveat here - France is known as a "bureaucratic" place, and for good reason. In order to be a farmer here, you need to be registered with the proper agencies, including the "agricultural" social insurance agencies (start with the MSA - Mutualité sociale agricole)
> 
> This site looks like it could be useful: Agriculture pour les Débutants – Comment devenir agriculteur – le Guide Complet and is available in several different languages.


Thank you this is really invaluable advice, I'll do a deep dive of it tonight over wine. Also thank you for your other response!


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## frenchfarmingdream

Clic Clac said:


> You were doing great until you mentioned the 'G Word'.
> (In joke around these parts.)
> 
> I think the way ahead is 'Quality & Local'.
> 
> Back home my local butcher used to have a blackboard with the name of the farmer & his farm where the product had come from.
> Usually within 5 miles of the shop.
> Even Lidl have started doing it here, but over a regional area.
> I try not to put my hard-earned into supporting factory farming. People want to know it's had a decent life.
> 
> 
> You'll have to check what's already available in your chosen area (so you're not treading on toes), or follow on from what the previous owner was doing
> to begin with.
> 
> Mead sounds good. Are you 'into' bees? Honey, candles.....
> 
> Or snails.


Completely agree, we have a subscription box for local organic farmers and whilst it costs and arm and a leg it feels nice to know we're supporting good people. 

On the topic of Gs, only mentioned due to everyone who moves out there seems to make one haha! I also used to work in tourism so vaguely know how to run one, but would definitely be a last resort as I'm hoping to move in part to get *away *from tourists! I mentioned in another reply that our farming friends recommend organic and quality - although I know very little about organic certification in France and being a novice doesn't necessarily lead to quality!

Mead is definitely something we want to look into business wise. I have experience making it, and know friends who ran (an albeit slightly less than legal) meadery that they sold locally, so would have someone to ask on expanding the process. I think it could be a great product if people were open to trying it and it's having a bit of a resurgence near me. I've heard of Chouchen from Brittany but not so aware of its general popularity in France.

Bees I have no experience with, but I think mead would only be viable is we were able to make our own honey due to the expense. I have also dabbled in using bees wax to make food wraps and lip balms over lock down so would enjoy that side of things. 

So many things to think about! 

Thanks again for your response!


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## BackinFrance

frenchfarmingdream said:


> I'm well aware it will be a difficult task, our two main options we've been looking at are starting very small and expanding as we know more (hence homesteading) or as you say finding a farmer whose looking to retire. Other options would be diversifying (gites etc) or small production of spirits etc.
> 
> We're both saving as much as we can (minus our upcoming wedding) so that we would have some fiscal "runway" so to speak to account for our inevitable blind spots. We also know a few local famers and are hoping to do some unpaid shadowing (sheep and arable) to get some experience, but as this would be in England you're spot on about the things like suppliers, selling, local regs etc which we've only really just started to look into.
> 
> As the name would suggest this is really a dream right now - trying to fact find as much as possible!
> 
> Thanks for your advice and response!!


For the unpaid work, which is an excellent idea, if there happen to be practices you don't appreciate (arguably less common with sheep than cattle, especially dairy cattle, just quit and look for something else.


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## boilerman

Franco-Belgian Brit said:


> *I'm vegan*, *but not by choice*. When I explain it's for medical reasons, I tend to get an understanding response.
> 
> They do love an ailment in France


Good luck with that


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## boilerman

boilerman said:


> Good luck with that


That sounds flippant, I didnt mean it like that


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