# I found my Spanish family!



## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

It's been a year that I've been looking for my family in Spain, and today I found them. Thanks to everyone here who has given me tips on how to find them. Today I went to the National Police with my 35-year-old photos of my family, from my 10-week visit to Spain when I was 15 years old. I brought all the documentation I have to prove that they are my family. 

To make a long story short, the police found the address of my dad's brother, Uncle Luis. I went there and spoke with the porter, who has worked there for 25 years. I showed him the pictures, and he pointed to my family members as he said their names to me. My uncle has passed and doesn't live there anymore, but his wife (my aunt) was visiting the café just two days prior for a poetry group that she belongs to. He gave me her home and mobile phone numbers where she lives now in Rincon de la Victoria. He said if I can't contact her by phone, she has a close friend living in the building who will be back from vacation on Monday, and he will hook me up with her, so that she can arrange contact with my aunt.

I asked the porter if my family is still close knit, and he said yes. I asked him if they're a good family as I remember them, and he said yes. He was all smiles in talking about them. So by Monday the latest, I will be talking to my aunt, then the rest of the family. 

Thirty-five years is a long time to be lugging around those photos and to keep hope that maybe one day, just maybe. I'm so happy to be have born a dreamer.  

I look forward to telling you guys more about my Spanish family. Again, thank you for helping me get here to Spain and for helping me find my family.


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## goingtobcn (Sep 9, 2012)

Wow, that's great! Looking forward to hearing more about your Spanish family


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

goingtobcn said:


> Wow, that's great! Looking forward to hearing more about your Spanish family


 Thanks Goingtobcn. I'm over the moon today. But what makes me the most happy about your post is that this implies that even though you're leaving Spain, you'll remain a member of the forum. Am I right?  :fingerscrossed:


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## Helenameva (Aug 15, 2014)

Well done Jessica Fletcher! I hope they live up to expectations!


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## goingtobcn (Sep 9, 2012)

AllHeart said:


> Thanks Goingtobcn. I'm over the moon today. But what makes me the most happy about your post is that this implies that even though you're leaving Spain, you'll remain a member of the forum. Am I right?  :fingerscrossed:


Glad to hear it 

Of course! You don't get rid of me that easily  I hope I'll still be able to impart some of my wisdom on those hoping to move here, and anyway I like the forum and its members


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

Such good news.
Hope it's a happy reunion


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## Madliz (Feb 4, 2011)

What a wonderful, heartwarming story! I look forward to future installments!


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Thanks all for your likes and replies. It means the world to me to have you guys onboard, as you can imagine this is a huge turning point in my life. So I'm pretty overwhelmed right now and needing to get focused. I didn't expect to find them so quickly. I've decided to wait until Monday to go and see my aunt's friend to contact my aunt that way. My Spanish still isn't good enough for the phone, so I think this would be a better way to contact her. This also gives me three more days to contact all my friends back in Canada to bring them up to speed and onboard. They've been so very supportive too. 



goingtobcn said:


> Glad to hear it
> 
> Of course! You don't get rid of me that easily  I hope I'll still be able to impart some of my wisdom on those hoping to move here, and anyway I like the forum and its members


 Yay!  I really like the forum too. What a beautiful idea to have immigrants volunteering to help immigrants, building on each other's journeys, regardless of where we come from. I too like the members here, as they're like the people I surround myself with off the computer - each with our own ideas and beliefs, like little snowflakes. Here it's also like the people in my life off the computer in that we're allowed to get mad at each other yet still enjoy each other's company. Some of the people who piss me off the most are those that I like the most.  Anyway, there I go getting all gushy... I'm so happy to hear that you're sticking around.


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## Lolito (Aug 25, 2012)

Good Luck and keep us posted!


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

I think the SurInEnglish would LOVE this story!


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Lolito said:


> Good Luck and keep us posted!


 Thanks, Lolito! 



xabiachica said:


> I think the SurInEnglish would LOVE this story!


 Thank you, Xabiachica. I'd love to tell a happy story to them. Of course my family would have to like to do this too. I'm in Spain for two loves - Spain itself and my family. Even if things fall apart with my family, I am still in love with Spain and will stay here as long as possible.  We'll see how things unfold, eh?

I bought a bunch of really nice things for my apartment over the last couple of days, so that it looks extra nice here, in the hopes that my family visits one day. If they don't visit, I had a great excuse to shop! The place looks fab now, even if it ends up being just for me. Ah, that stubborn cynic in me just can't let go!  (Self, stop doubting the reality of this.)

Since day one in Spain, I switched from percolated coffee to espresso coffee. Yesterday I bought a family-sized espresso maker.  Here is a picture of my espresso makers on my properly cleaned stove, thanks to detailed, patient step-by-step instructions to me from another thread on the forum. 

View attachment 29761


Tomorrow it's laundry and cleaning my apartment from top to bottom just in case they visit (or at least for me, says the cynic). :washing:

Then when I wake up the next day, I'll call my aunt, who I haven't seen or spoken to for 35 years. Wow. She would be happy to see how beautiful she is in my pictures.


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## xabiaxica (Jun 23, 2009)

well???

we've all been waiting on hooks a-tentered & with breath bated..... what happened?


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

xabiachica said:


> well???
> 
> we've all been waiting on hooks a-tentered & with breath bated..... what happened?


 Xabiachica, I'm flattered that you remember in the midst of all the people on the forum. I'm kind of bummed out right now about this. I went on Monday, but the doorman said the friend wasn't back from vacation yet, and that she should be back that evening. He said he would call me when she came home, so that we could call together. He told me he tried the phone numbers, but they weren't working. I haven't heard from anyone.

I don't know, but it could be that my aunt doesn't want to see me. It may be apparent by now from my posts that my Canadian family and I have long since gone our separate ways. My father and I didn't speak since 1991, then he died 4-1/2 years ago, and since then I have made my peace with him. But I don't know what the family in Spain knows about the family dynamics in Canada, since I haven't spoken to them since 1979, and it could be that they would rather not see me. I asked the doorman to tell my aunt that I have made my peace with my father and that I come to them in peace. But it could be that they have not made their peace with me. So I keep waiting for the call. I haven't spent a Christmas with blood family since 1993, and I'm really hoping we can sort this out, so that I can spend this Christmas with them. But I know I am not in control of other people's feelings or actions or thoughts - or anything about another person, for that matter. 

I don't think the picture of my espresso makers showed up in my last post, so I'll try to post it again. I will be patient and wait in the hopes of using my family-sized espresso maker. Patience is one of my strongest attributes.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

And then there are times that my patience is replaced by my spontaneity. Sometimes spontaneity trumps patience, like today. I just called the doorman to ask what is going on, and I couldn't understand who he talked to or how he managed to do this... He told me he has given my phone number to my two blood aunts, and they are going to call me. He said one of my aunts is living here in Malaga Capital, and the other in Madrid. I've thought for many years now that all my aunts and uncles were dead. They are both beautiful women and I just can't stop crying right now thinking that I will hear from them soon. It's time to contact some friends in Canada to share the good news and get anchored. I'm still holding out for a happy ending.


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## oronero (Aug 24, 2012)

AllHeart said:


> I don't know, but it could be that my aunt doesn't want to see me. It may be apparent by now from my posts that my Canadian family and I have long since gone our separate ways. My father and I didn't speak since 1991, then he died 4-1/2 years ago, and since then I have made my peace with him. But I don't know what the family in Spain knows about the family dynamics in Canada, since I haven't spoken to them since 1979, and it could be that they would rather not see me.... I haven't spent a Christmas with blood family since 1993, and I'm really hoping we can sort this out, so that I can spend this Christmas with them. But I know I am not in control of other people's feelings or actions or thoughts - or anything about another person, for that matter.
> 
> Patience is one of my strongest attributes.


I fully understand the anticipation, fear and all sorts of other emotions that must be raging throughout your mind...

...your story sounds so similar to my own, roughly covering the same period of time except I have made contact with my family in Portugal.

I am so glad to have the friends that I have, they have been more of a family to me in times of need than some of my actual family in the UK.

I hope it works out, remember true friends are as good as if not better than family, all the best!. :fingerscrossed:


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

oronero said:


> I fully understand the anticipation, fear and all sorts of other emotions that must be raging throughout your mind...
> 
> ...your story sounds so similar to my own, roughly covering the same period of time except I have made contact with my family in Portugal.
> 
> ...


 Hi Oronero. Para one is a perfect snapshot of my brain and heart right now! 

My friends are my everything since I was a kid. I'm so grateful for friends! I'm so happy to hear that you have good friends too.

I'd absolutely loooove to hear about your reunion in Portugal!


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

I have fantaaaaastic news! My aunt just called me from Rincon de la Victoria and we had a lovely talk. We are getting together on Wednesday evening with my other aunt that lives here in Malaga Capital! Wow. 

Without flat out saying it, she said the family here knows about the problems with my Canadian family, so that's a relief that I don't have to explain anything. She said all my uncles have indeed passed away, but all my cousins are still alive and well. She said the family here is still very close and still a very good family. 

I am reminded once again of the importance of dreaming and the importance of never giving up hope.  I'm sooooo wowed! My family-sized espresso maker is calling to be used for the first time! :clap2:


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## brocher (Mar 21, 2011)

AllHeart said:


> I have fantaaaaastic news! My aunt just called me from Rincon de la Victoria and we had a lovely talk. We are getting together on Wednesday evening with my other aunt that lives here in Malaga Capital! Wow.
> 
> Without flat out saying it, she said the family here knows about the problems with my Canadian family, so that's a relief that I don't have to explain anything. She said all my uncles have indeed passed away, but all my cousins are still alive and well. She said the family here is still very close and still a very good family.
> 
> I am reminded once again of the importance of dreaming and the importance of never giving up hope.  I'm sooooo wowed! My family-sized espresso maker is calling to be used for the first time! :clap2:


Good news! Just take it slowly.....


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

brocher said:


> Good news! Just take it slowly.....


 Hi Brocher. Yes, I promise! I get overwhelmed easily with the least of events. So just imagine this event! I'm so glad I have a week to slowly wiggle into this.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

My head is still spinning from Wednesday night in meeting my two aunts. It turns out that I have another aunt by marriage who is alive. So I have four aunts who are alive and well. Wow. It also turns out that almost all of my family, including my aunts, cousins and their kids, are all living here in Malaga!! I had no idea. 

I get overwhelmed easily and have little energy, plus it's a delicate situation due to the dynamics with my Canadian family. So the aunts and I decided that I'll contact my family members little by little. The next step is that my aunts passed on my phone number to one of my cousins here in Malaga, and she will call me to get together. Also, as soon as I find out if I get my pension, I'll have money to do some travelling. So my aunt and I are going to hang out together in Rincon de la Victoria, where she lives. She said it's even more beautiful there now than when I went in '79, and it still looks very Spanish. She's being so very warm and affectionate with me, and I am so grateful for that.

As an immigrant in Canada, I only had my parents and siblings for family. So this is really amazing to be connecting to a bigger picture of my roots.  I've talked to a lot of immigrants in Canada who have also felt at a loss without extended family. Maybe some of you here on the forum feel the same.

So that's my story and I'm sticking to it.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

That's fantastic news! I have some idea how you must feel. A few years ago when I started using Facebook I discovered a family of cousins, whom I hadn't seen since they were children. They are now in their forties with children of their own. I remember I was really nervous when I first went to visit them - totally unfounded as they are lovely people and we have lots of things in common.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Alcalaina said:


> That's fantastic news! I have some idea how you must feel. A few years ago when I started using Facebook I discovered a family of cousins, whom I hadn't seen since they were children. They are now in their forties with children of their own. I remember I was really nervous when I first went to visit them - totally unfounded as they are lovely people and we have lots of things in common.


 Hi Alcalaina. That's awesome that you found your family of cousins. So perhaps you were in the same boat as me, since you hadn't seen them for so long, in that you didn't know anything about them? I don't even know all my cousins' names and I didn't meet all of them back in '79. So I'm starting from scratch, really. 

My cousin called me yesterday, and we're meeting with her mom at her mom's house on Monday. That's just a few minutes' walk from my apartment! Her dad was my uncle who visited us frequently in Canada, so I'm really, really excited about that meeting. My memory isn't that good, especially for remembering names, so I'm going with pen and paper when I see them, and I'll write down all the names of the family members. I think that's the best first step in getting to know them. There are tons of questions I want to ask them and I have no idea where to start, but I'll just play it by ear.

Where did you start with your questions?


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## Pesky Wesky (May 10, 2009)

AllHeart said:


> Hi Alcalaina. That's awesome that you found your family of cousins. So perhaps you were in the same boat as me, since you hadn't seen them for so long, in that you didn't know anything about them? I don't even know all my cousins' names and I didn't meet all of them back in '79. So I'm starting from scratch, really.
> 
> My cousin called me yesterday, and we're meeting with her mom at her mom's house on Monday. That's just a few minutes' walk from my apartment! Her dad was my uncle who visited us frequently in Canada, so I'm really, really excited about that meeting. My memory isn't that good, especially for remembering names, so I'm going with pen and paper when I see them, and I'll write down all the names of the family members. I think that's the best first step in getting to know them. There are tons of questions I want to ask them and I have no idea where to start, but I'll just play it by ear.
> 
> Where did you start with your questions?


I wouldn-t start with questions. I-d start with getting to know them and see what they want to tell


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Pesky Wesky said:


> I wouldn-t start with questions. I-d start with getting to know them and see what they want to tell


 Hi Pesky Wesky. I never thought of that. The same way I would get to know anyone else, eh? That seems so obvious now that you say it. Thank you.


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## Alcalaina (Aug 6, 2010)

Yes, Pesky is right - save your questions till later. With my cousins, we started off by talking about our respective fathers, who were brothers. Both died far too young but it transpired that they had passed a lot of good things on to us in terms of our values and interests. So we had stuff in common which we could build on.


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## AllHeart (Nov 22, 2013)

Well, I took your suggestions to go about meeting my aunt and cousin on Monday, thinking of them as people to get to know. It went really well and we really like each other. The following morning (yesterday), my aunt from Madrid called me. This afternoon another cousin called me and we went out for a bite to eat. I have a huge family here, so I won't go telling you about our meetings anymore, as this will be tedious and boring for you (though not for me). So I'll just end this story here by again thanking you once again for getting me to my family and opening those doors.


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