# Cultural Humility and Cultural Competence



## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

In the thread http://www.expatforum.com/expats/me...22-help-re-land-purchase-other-questions.html I was on about being careful in a cross-cultural context to avoid ascribing motive and assigning value judgments of others' actions based on our own cultural assumptions and background. What I was really trying to express is the concept of "cultural humility".

I think both cultural competence and cultural humility are so important for expats to develop, but I think the latter concept is less known. I presume many people here are familiar with the idea of "cultural competence". Quoting from Wikipedia: 

_Cultural competence refers to an ability to interact effectively with people of different cultures and socio-economic backgrounds.
....
Cultural competence comprises four components: (a) Awareness of one's own cultural worldview, (b) Attitude towards cultural differences, (c) Knowledge of different cultural practices and worldviews, and (d) Cross-cultural skills. Developing cultural competence results in an ability to understand, communicate with, and effectively interact with people across cultures._

*Cultural humility *expands particularly on the self-awareness and self-knowledge in points a) and b) - along with self-humility. Again from Wikipedia:

_Cultural humility is the “ability to maintain an interpersonal stance that is other-oriented (or open to the other) in relation to aspects of cultural identity that are most important to the [person].” Cultural humility is different from other culturally-based training ideals because it focuses on self-humility rather than achieving a state of knowledge or awareness._


When I first heard the term it resonated strongly with me. A key point for me is the importance of becoming aware of our often unexamined, even subconscious, value judgments. I think there is a natural human tendency to assign "better" and "worse", "right" and "wrong" to situations where such judgment is unwarranted. I'm not an absolute relativist - I do believe there are things that are right and wrong regardless of the cultural context, and a lot of these are actually universal across cultures. But it's important when we find ourselves thinking that the way something is done NOB is "better" to be a bit more humble and less quick to judge. There may be some advantages to how something is done NOB and other advantages (that we may not be aware of) in how it's done SOB. And besides, if we've chosen of our own free will to move to another country, isn't it a bit arrogant to then go around criticizing how things are done in the new country?

The term "cultural humility" was first coined in the health care context, specifically around medical education and physician training. Here is a link to an article from 1998 which is I believe the seminal article on cultural humility. Even though it is referring specifically to medical education and the health care setting, I think many will find it interesting. 

https://pritzker.uchicago.edu/documents/CulturalCompetency.pdf

The authors describe cultural humility as "a process that requires humility as individuals continually engage in self-reflection and self-critique as lifelong learners". 

I'm interested in hearing others' views on this subject.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

I think it is something you have to lear as a kid it becomes much more difficult to think out of the box as you get older. By the way I do not like word cultural humility at all and do not agree with it.There is a need to recognize other cultures as equal or superior but there is no need to be humble about yours( except for Texan of course)..


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

ojosazules11 said:


> …
> 
> I'm interested in hearing others' views on this subject.


This is an interesting topic. I suppose the opposites are cultural ignorance and cultural arrogance, I actually am not aware of much cultural ignorance or cultural arrogance on the part of the few people I interact with that come from north of the border.

I am not retired but I am of that age and live in Mexico, but I did not come to Mexico to retire. I was sent here by the Peace Corps and decided to stay. Most of the non-Mexicans I know are the stream of Peace Corps volunteers who pass through. I know lots of people question the value of the Peace Corps but one thing they do do well is inculcate an awareness of cultural differences. Two of the three Peace Corps goals have to do with understanding other cultures. And prospective volunteers that look like they will have difficulties accepting cultural differences are washed out in training. In addition, Peace Corps volunteers live in a style that is typical of lower middle class Mexicans as a consequence of a stipend that is pretty minimal.

Consequently, NOB types that I talk to seem to have a healthy dose of both cultural competence and humility. Are they an exception? I don't have any way to judge.


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## TundraGreen (Jul 15, 2010)

citlali said:


> I think it is something you have to learn as a kid it becomes much more difficult to think out of the box as you get older.


Really. I would say that is true of learning languages, certainly a part of understanding other cultures. But I think it is possible develop cultural understanding as an adult. It does require moving around some. The first time you live in a different place, it seems to be human nature to compare it to where you came from. But after two or three moves, you start to accept new places as different with advantages and disadvantages.

My first move was from Alaska to Vermont. I spent the first winter telling those around me that "This isn't winter, you should see what a real winter looks like". I am sure I was a pain. Since then I have lived in many states, several countries and visited dozens more of each. I no longer compare every winter to Alaska.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

Here we go there is more than lower middle class Mexicans than in Mexico, the upper classes are just as Mexicans as the middle or lower classes, why equate Mexico with one class?


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

Yes you have to move around but also open your mind to things that are differnt which many people do not do.
I used to fine my nephews when they came to the States to say and would say in France we do this and that.. I see a lot of adults that could use that training.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

I have lived in Mexico for almost 8 years and before retiring here, I spent many longer and shorter periods of time in the country, either working or on extended vacations. I have done my best to develop cultural awareness (like citlali, I don't like the cultural humility concept very much), but of course there are times when something happens that makes me want to shout my disapproval in a loud voice, but instead I just smile and walk away from the situation that is making me crazy.


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

To clarify, since the term was coined in the context of physicians dealing with diverse patient populations, it also recognized the inherent power imbalance in the physician-patient relationship. Some self-aware humility on the part of the physician can certainly help overcome cultural misunderstandings regarding illness and wellness, which have resulted in well-documented cases of bad outcomes. 

I like the term humility, not in the sense of "humiliating" oneself, but in the sense of being aware I'm not superior to the other (whoever that other may be), I don't know everything or have all the answers - but neither am I inferior to the other, and I do know many things and have some answers, subject to change as I continue to grow, learn, engage in self-reflection, etc. (and in the medical context subject to ever changing scientific evidence). 

Maybe it is a concept better fit to the health care field, where it was first described, because in a cross-cultural setting (even without ever leaving the U.S. or Canada given the diversity of the population) the art of medicine and taking into account a patient's cultural beliefs, practices, and values can definitely impact the outcome of their medical treatment. And if you read the article, the physician's cultural beliefs and constructs can actually influence what tests they order and treatments they prescribe for different sociocultural groups, leading to different medical outcomes. 

I agree with Will that these are things that can definitely be taught, although some people may naturally have more of an affinity than others. In my opinion, the most important pre-existing quality is open-mindedness and a willingness to learn. Come to think about it, I would venture to say that uprooting and moving to a new country as an adult, already shows a certain open-mindedness and willingness to learn 

I already speak Spanish and am familiar with and comfortable in Latinamerican culture, so moving to Mexico doesn't feel like a huge cultural shift for me. When I think about the idea of moving as a 53 year old to somewhere where I know neither the language nor the culture - such as Vietnam or China - I realize how adventurous and in my opinion brave many expats are. I hope to some day visit these other parts of the world, but to move there ... Part of me would find it exciting, part of me very intimidating. I admire those of you who have done just that.


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## coondawg (May 1, 2014)

Isla Verde said:


> of course there are times when something happens that makes me want to shout my disapproval in a loud voice, but instead I just smile and walk away from the situation that is making me crazy.


To me, that is awareness of cultural differences, but obviously not acceptance of cultural differences. No one should feel that they have to accept cultural differences, and I think everyone becomes aware of cultural differences quickly.

I am aware that in some cultures, cutting off the hands of robbers is accepted, but I do not accept that cultural practice.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

coondawg said:


> To me, that is awareness of cultural differences, but obviously not acceptance of cultural differences. No one should feel that they have to accept cultural differences, and I think everyone becomes aware of cultural differences quickly.


I should have added to my previous post that there are some ******/Mexican cultural differences that I have happily embraced. At the moment, one of my favorites is saying I have a "compromiso", without providing details, to get out of doing something I don't want to do or seeing someone I don't want to see.


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

Isla Verde said:


> I should have added to my previous post that there are some ******/Mexican cultural differences that I have happily embraced. At the moment, one of my favorites is saying I have a "compromiso", without providing details, to get out of doing something I don't want to do or seeing someone I don't want to see.


I'll remember this, Marsha, if you happen to have a _compromiso_ next time I'm in Mexico.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

ojosazules11 said:


> I'll remember this, Marsha, if you happen to have a _compromiso_ next time I'm in Mexico.


Now that you're on to me, I'll have to think of another excuse.


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## AlanMexicali (Jun 1, 2011)

Isla Verde said:


> Now that you're on to me, I'll have to think of another excuse.


Medical appointment always works.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

AlanMexicali said:


> Medical appointment always works.


Not with ojos. Since she's an MD. she'd probably ask for details of my medical problem!


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## lagoloo (Apr 12, 2011)

A little "humility" never hurts, in any context. It's opposite is being "full of oneself".

In the medical context, my experience NOB was that the doctor was usually so full of himself that I got the impression he thought patients were a lower form of life. In Mexico, I have encountered just the opposite, for the most part. Respectful attitudes; none of the "I am superior" because of that diploma on the wall. I appreciate that. There are exceptions: some real opionated, self important jerks practicing medicine in Mexico, too.

There are things I don't approve of because of my own cultural background. I'm no bleeding heart re animals, but it feels "wrong" to put a dog on the roof in the heat with no shelter from the elements and no human company, either. It feels "wrong" to see children of school age sent out to sell green beans and such all day, instead of attending school. And so on. However, I also know that it's absolutely not my place to say a thing about it.
There are plenty of "wrongs" in the country from which I emigrated.
:juggle:


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

lagoloo said:


> A little "humility" never hurts, in any context. It's opposite is being "full of oneself".
> 
> In the medical context, my experience NOB was that the doctor was usually so full of himself that I got the impression he thought patients were a lower form of life. In Mexico, I have encountered just the opposite, for the most part. Respectful attitudes; none of the "I am superior" because of that diploma on the wall. I appreciate that. There are exceptions: some real opionated, self important jerks practicing medicine in Mexico, too.
> 
> ...


How I understand the term, cultural humility does not preclude having opinions or thinking something is wrong. It is also not about condoning abuse. If a Mexican man beats his wife and justifies it as part of his culture, there are plenty of other Mexicans (men and women) who will strongly contradict that assertion. Also, universally recognized human rights trump cultural practices, in my opinion. 

However, if I'm trying to help the woman who is being abused, but she does not want to leave the abusive situation, then I need to draw on that humility. Rather than judging her or becoming exasperated with her for staying with the abuser, I try to understand why she is making the decision to stay, and in the process perhaps identifying the fears she has about leaving. I also let her know what resources are available if she changes her mind. However, if there are children involved, the equation changes, as it becomes a child protection issue, which also trumps cultural practices. 

It isn't black and white, it isn't about not having opinions (that would be futile) - it's about examining our opinions, being aware of our own cultural biases, and trying to understand not only where the other person is coming from, but why, based on their culture(s) and life experience.


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## ZaPatton (Aug 17, 2015)

ojosazules11 said:


> How I understand the term, cultural humility does not preclude having opinions or thinking something is wrong. It is also not about condoning abuse. If a Mexican man beats his wife and justifies it as part of his culture, there are plenty of other Mexicans (men and women) who will strongly contradict that assertion. Also, universally recognized human rights trump cultural practices, in my opinion.
> 
> However, if I'm trying to help the woman who is being abused, but she does not want to leave the abusive situation, then I need to draw on that humility. Rather than judging her or becoming exasperated with her for staying with the abuser, I try to understand why she is making the decision to stay, and in the process perhaps identifying the fears she has about leaving. I also let her know what resources are available if she changes her mind. However, if there are children involved, the equation changes, as it becomes a child protection issue, which also trumps cultural practices.
> 
> It isn't black and white, it isn't about not having opinions (that would be futile) - it's about examining our opinions, being aware of our own cultural biases, and trying to understand not only where the other person is coming from, but why, based on their culture(s) and life experience.


Is this cultural or human nature. Many people in western societies stay in abusive relationships.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

in Wesern societies?? How about all societies?


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

ZaPatton said:


> Is this cultural or human nature. Many people in western societies stay in abusive relationships.


Absolutely, as Citlali says it is in all societies and cultures. However the reasons for not leaving may include some factors which are similar regardless of cultures, and other factors which are unique to a person's culture, as well as unique to that individual. Key is to not presume we "know" why, but to be open to that individual being able to express their own personal "whys" without judging, if and when they are ready to talk about it. Also, it's important not to presume that because of someone's culture or background they won't want to leave. I've known women who were pretty sure they'd be ostracized by their community for leaving a marriage, but felt the alternative of staying was worse.

Basically, don't presume you know or don't know what the other person wants to do or why, but create an environment which is as safe and nonjudgmental as possible to let them express that themselves.


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## maesonna (Jun 10, 2008)

Isla Verde said:


> [T]here are some ******/Mexican cultural differences that I have happily embraced.


Yes indeed! I use the “_compromiso_” one too. Two more I have learned to leverage are:
•If you arrive at a party on the same day, you are “on time”. No one will give you dirty looks if the food was served hours ago; instead you will be welcomed to the table and served with eager hospitality.
•When you are being food-pushed to eat something you don’t want, or you’ve just eaten before you arrived, I eventually found that people stop pushing and don’t take it badly if you either (depending on the circumstances) smile as though you were eager to eat/drink and say “_Gracias, luego me sirvo_” [Thanks, I’ll serve myself in a bit] or accept some of what they’re offering and raise your fork to your mouth or raise the cup to your lips from time to time, while making conversation.


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## coondawg (May 1, 2014)

My wife just tells them that because of my medicines, that I can't eat that or drink that. No problem.


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

Speaking of being "food pushed" (great term, Maesonna) I'm not sure if the following is as commonplace in Mexico, but in Guatemala I learned people will often initially decline food when visiting a home (not in the context of a fiesta, but just dropping by for a brief visit) because apparently it's not quite polite to accept on the first offer. As the host you are expected to keep offering, and by the third or fourth offer it is polite to finally accept. "Bueno, ya que insistes." I didn't understand this initially and if someone declined my first offer of a drink or light snack, I'd accept that at face value, until a close friend gently told me I'm supposed to keep offering. Actually even better is to not ask IF they'd like something, but to just put the food and drink in front of them, then it's up to them if they wish to eat or drink. Often now instead of asking IF someone wants something to drink, I'll ask what they prefer, coffee, tea or agua de limón (or what ever drink I have on hand). And the light snack just goes on the table automatically.

I've wondered about the roots of this custom of not accepting food on the first offer. Is it so the host can comply with the social nicety of offering food to an unexpected guest, but if it's turned down once or twice they can save face by not insisting, in case they really don't have anything to offer? But to be perfectly honest, even in the humblest of homes I've been in there has always been something on offer, even if tortillas and beans with café hervido. I wonder how many of my guests went hungry and thirsty before I was taught this custom...


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## Anonimo (Apr 8, 2012)

*RE: "Sabelotodo" (know it all) doctors*



lagoloo said:


> A little "humility" never hurts, in any context. It's opposite is being "full of oneself".
> 
> In the medical context, my experience NOB was that the doctor was usually so full of himself that I got the impression he thought patients were a lower form of life. In Mexico, I have encountered just the opposite, for the most part. Respectful attitudes; none of the "I am superior" because of that diploma on the wall. I appreciate that. There are exceptions: some real opionated, self important jerks practicing medicine in Mexico, too.
> 
> ...


Agreed:
We have had several self important, even arrogant Mexican doctors who wouldn't listen to what we the patient said; but then we have also had numerous kind, simpático Mexican doctors. IMO, it's not the nationality that determines the doctor's behavior toward patients, but rather their personality.


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## Meritorious-MasoMenos (Apr 17, 2014)

Washington Post did a big feature today on the life and death of Harry Devert, that motorcycle guy killed last year by alleged drug traffickers, though it appears his family is not convinced.

I think it fits in this thread, because I would've found it insufferable to listen to Devert's adventures, him always smiling in a gaggle of "third worlders" as if, to me, he thought he was bringing light to their miserable lives.

The incredible life and haunting death of world traveler Harry Devert - The Washington Post


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## Brigitte Ordoquy (Dec 19, 2010)

ojoazules
It was very common especially for people in my mother´s generation to turn down food when offered 2 or 3 times and then upon the insistance of the hostess to have the guests take the food.
It was one of my first fight with my husband who said yes on the first go around when asked if he wanted more food or wine. I used to get furious with him as it was way to direct and gauche to accept on the first offer.
Also you cannot get French people to tell you what they want when asked what would you like to do this or that..forget it you have to go around the pot first..it drives me crazy but that is the way it is..

I have no idea where that custom came from but it is pretty maddening..


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## AlanMexicali (Jun 1, 2011)

Brigitte Ordoquy said:


> ojoazules
> It was very common especially for people in my mother´s generation to turn down food when offered 2 or 3 times and then upon the insistance of the hostess to have the guests take the food.
> It was one of my first fight with my husband who said yes on the first go around when asked if he wanted more food or wine. I used to get furious with him as it was way to direct and gauche to accept on the first offer.
> Also you cannot get French people to tell you what they want when asked what would you like to do this or that..forget it you have to go around the pot first..it drives me crazy but that is the way it is..
> ...


Mexicans offering food in their home or even when they are eating something from the store when they run into a friend or stop by their home is common. If they offer your corn chips from a bag and you refuse it is considered a bit rude. If you don´t want to eat them take one chip, for example. Then if they offer you more say no thank you. Job done in the proper way. 

At their home it is the same thing. Take one small portion at least and leave the rest if you don´t want to eat at that time. 

As far as guests over I put out a plate or two with snacks on the table, napkins and a pile of plates. I ask what they want to drink and tell what options they have.

I feel this custom of offering food no matter where you are is from Catholic´s "breaking bread". 

Where I worked and there were many Mexicans and Pilipinos working there. In the lunch room it was a common occurance. Filipinos that were Catholic that is. Many just brought one ítem each for their regular table of friends and they had a pot luck.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

There is no bypassing the ritual if you do this in France, no one will touch the food as it is incredebly rude to help oneself without having the food being personnaly presented to you. 
It is a ritual not just offering food.

In France you have to eat everything you are being served, it is rude to leave anything on your plate, in Bulgaria leaving your plate empty means you want more.

In Oaxaca when you go to a Zapoteca fiesta you take with you a little plastic buck a chocolate pitcher and a basket to take food left over to your house. The tlayudas are made so you can take back a lot of meat with you , the buckets for the rice and or sauces like mole , the basket for bread especially the conchas and the pitcher to take back chocolate.
Every culture has its rituals and you just have to follow them not try to bypass them.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Almost up to the day she died, my paternal Jewish grandmother always insisted we take home food with us after we had visited her for a meal, often for holidays. We jokingly called them our "care packages", after the charitable organization of the same name. But it wasn't a joke to her - giving us some of her wonderful home-cooked food to take with us was an important ritual to her, something no doubt brought over with from "the old country", in her case Russia. When she grew too old and sick to cook, she still insisted on giving us a care package, usually some fruit.


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

That is a nice tradition.My mother would do the same thing with us but never with guests that would have been presumptious. Funny as every culture has its rituals.


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

AlanMexicali said:


> Mexicans offering food in their home or even when they are eating something from the store when they run into a friend or stop by their home is common. If they offer your corn chips from a bag and you refuse it is considered a bit rude. If you don´t want to eat them take one chip, for example. Then if they offer you more say no thank you. Job done in the proper way.
> 
> At their home it is the same thing. Take one small portion at least and leave the rest if you don´t want to eat at that time.
> 
> ...


The sharing of whatever food one has is definitely a custom which has become deeply ingrained in me. My previous post was about the Guatemalan custom of people initially turning food down when invited (even if they actually want some) and the host continuing to offer, until it's finally accepted on the third or fourth offer. It's a little social dance that took me a while to learn. 

Your comment about the "breaking of bread" together in Catholic countries is interesting. I thought of it as a Latin thing, rather than Catholic - I wonder if it is similar in Poland, which is Catholic, but not Latin. Hmmm, I'll ask a Polish colleague of mine.

I remember riding the trains in Europe a few decades ago. In Germany, Austria, and Switzerland everything was neat, orderly and the trains ran on time. Whoever had food, would primly open their lunch, discreetly eat it and put it away. There was minimal interaction among the individuals sharing a compartment in the train (usually 4-6 people). 

Then we crossed to Italy. Things were less orderly, trains would run late. I presume if the conductor saw a friend at the station, well, they had to stop and chat a while - to not do so would be rude. In the train compartments, people would talk, joke, sing songs, exchange addresses (for old-fashioned letter-writing - remember those blue with red stripes airmail envelopes). "If you are ever in ... (Verona .. Napoli .. wherever ...) you must come to visit me!" And if anybody had food, it was shared around. An orange meant a slice for everyone, same with the chocolate bar.

Guess where I fit in better??


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

maesonna said:


> •When you are being food-pushed to eat something you don’t want, or you’ve just eaten before you arrived, I eventually found that people stop pushing and don’t take it badly if you either (depending on the circumstances) smile as though you were eager to eat/drink and say “_Gracias, luego me sirvo_” [Thanks, I’ll serve myself in a bit] or accept some of what they’re offering and raise your fork to your mouth or raise the cup to your lips from time to time, while making conversation.


Last night at a birthday party, after an incredibly delicious _taquiza_ (we were all stuffed), I was helping serve the cake. One guest's way of declining the cake, without outright saying "No" was to say "Ahorita, gracias". (Basically saying "soon" or "a little later".)

_Ahorita_ is another great flex word, which is ill-defined in terms of exactly what time frame it refers to. Depending on context, it might mean right now, soon, a little later, and sometimes in real life it turns out to be a gracious way of describing "never". 

If I want my kids to do something now, and they are applying the "later" or "never" meaning, I might emphatically say, "¡Pero ahoritita!" to let them know this is the "right now" definition I'm using.


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

I recall an incident in which lack of cultural knowledge caused a significant misunderstanding in a medical context. There was a young Latin American mother, with a young daughter, about 3 or 4 years old. A nurse practitioner colleague of mine had seen them and noted in the chart that she was concerned about the mother-daughter relationship, that there was role reversal with the mother putting the young daughter in a parental role, all because the mother kept referring to her daughter as "Mommy". She was concerned there may be some mental health problems because of this.

When I saw them, they seemed to have a normal, healthy mother- daughter interaction. And of course, for me it was normal to hear a Spanish-speaking parent refer to their daughter as "mami" or "mamita" (or to a son as "papi" or "papito"). I explained this to my colleague, which then totally shifted her approach with this mother and daughter.


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## Mextrav46 (Oct 8, 2010)

> "When I first heard the term it resonated strongly with me. A key point for me is the importance of becoming aware of our often unexamined, even subconscious, value judgments. I think there is a natural human tendency to assign "better" and "worse", "right" and "wrong" to situations where such judgment is unwarranted. I'm not an absolute relativist - I do believe there are things that are right and wrong regardless of the cultural context, and a lot of these are actually universal across cultures. But it's important when we find ourselves thinking that the way something is done NOB is "better" to be a bit more humble and less quick to judge. There may be some advantages to how something is done NOB and other advantages (that we may not be aware of) in how it's done SOB. And besides, if we've chosen of our own free will to move to another country, isn't it a bit arrogant to then go around criticizing how things are done in the new country?"


I love the concept of cultural humility. I understand it as trying to see the values and mores of a different culture without comparison to your own, and without judgement. I see how it could help ameliorate the "us and them" mentality.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Mextrav46 said:


> I love the concept of cultural humility. I understand it as trying to see the values and mores of a different culture without comparison to your own, and without judgement. I see how it could help ameliorate the "us and them" mentality.


Though I agree with your ideas, let's be realistic and not forget to mention how difficult it can be not to compare foreign cultural practices and not to judge them negatively. When on vacation in another country, it can be educational to take notice of these differences and to incorporate them into your interactions with the people you come into contact with. It's a lot harder to do when you find yourself living in a new country with a culture in ways both large and small different from your own for an extended period of time. It is the basic cause of the dreaded "culture shock" that we have all gone through in Mexico. I'm not saying that is impossible to incorporate these new cultural norms into our behavior and even our world-view, but it will take time, effort and, above all, patience!


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

Yes things you enjoy as a tourist can get on your nerves when it becomes part of everyday life and you may miss your old ways..


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## Mextrav46 (Oct 8, 2010)

Isla Verde said:


> Though I agree with your ideas, let's be realistic and not forget to mention how difficult it can be not to compare foreign cultural practices and not to judge them negatively. When on vacation in another country, it can be educational to take notice of these differences and to incorporate them into your interactions with the people you come into contact with. It's a lot harder to do when you find yourself living in a new country with a culture in ways both large and small different from your own for an extended period of time. It is the basic cause of the dreaded "culture shock" that we have all gone through in Mexico. I'm not saying that is impossible to incorporate these new cultural norms into our behavior and even our world-view, but it will take time, effort and, above all, patience!


I think you are missing the point of the concept of cultural humility. The idea is that you make no judgement and therefore there is no shock.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Mextrav46 said:


> I think you are missing the point of the concept of cultural humility. The idea is that you make no judgement and therefore there is no shock.


I think that's very hard to do, at least it is for me. I must take a workshop on how to be culturally humble, so I will become the ideal expat!


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## kcowan (Jul 24, 2010)

Late to the thread but I enjoyed many of the complexities highlighted here. I could relate to the use of ahorita because I use "ahorita no" to rebuff the beach vendors and this is considered polite/respectful.

And then there are the many meanings of manana. The one thing it does NOT mean is tomorrow! Same as making a date at a specified time may always be provisional.

Also learned something about accepting food. It is a nuance that I will watch for now. I have to stop accepting a drink now. Unless it is offered by another ******.

The book "There is a Word for it in Mexico" is also a big help.


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## ojosazules11 (Nov 3, 2013)

kcowan said:


> Late to the thread but I enjoyed many of the complexities highlighted here. I could relate to the use of ahorita because I use "ahorita no" to rebuff the beach vendors and this is considered polite/respectful.
> 
> And then there are the many meanings of manana. The one thing it does NOT mean is tomorrow! Same as making a date at a specified time may always be provisional.
> 
> ...


In terms of not accepting a drink when first offered, that was in Guatemala, not Mexico, so if you're thirsty please go ahead and accept when first offered! :tea:


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