# Fled domestic abuse, being sent back



## Yalumba2 (Nov 26, 2010)

I fled domestic abuse in Italy with my 3 year old daughter in July 2010. We've lost our fight to stay in N.Ireland and a judge here has ordered my daughter's return by 6 Dec. I lived with her father, we weren't married for 8 years. On my return I have no friends, no job, nowhere to live except to move back in with my abuser. I feel very let down, very alone and very frightened. I was starting to get back on my feet here. My daughter is in nursery school. I offered to pay for his visits and holidays here. But, he refuses to accept the end and wants to control us for as long as he can. 
I really need helpful advice. Anyone who lost a Hague Convention case? How do I start again? Ok I'm 44, not that old I know. What could I do to maintain me and daughter? I'm in the Como area.


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## sharpenedpencils (Aug 31, 2013)

*oh dear*

What happened to you?
I might know someone who can help x


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## Yalumba2 (Nov 26, 2010)

*very long, ongoing nightmare*

Hello, who is the person you know and what exactly could they do to help?


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## GUAPACHICA (Jun 30, 2012)

Yalumba2 said:


> Hello, who is the person you know and what exactly could they do to help?


My partner abducted my child: the parents left behind | Life and style | The Guardian

Hi - so sorry to hear of your continuing problems. I happened to read this on yesterday's UK Guardian newspaper website (the issue discussed there is that of 'child abduction' by one parent or another, from one country to another - but the circumstances of several of the mothers concerned would appear to be very similar to your own)! There are links to support networks and advice, so you might find one or more of these to be helpful. Good luck in resolving your difficulties satisfactorily!

Saludos,
GC


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## Yalumba2 (Nov 26, 2010)

*thanks*

Many thanks for your reply. 

The previous post I got to which I'd replied never got back to me, kind of frustrating, leaves me thinking why post in the first place.

I don't buy any papers or have a TV so I'm quite isolated from the media. You get wrapped up in the daily 'just keep on' of writing emails and waiting and hoping. Trying to keep focused and not drop off the edge.

Unfortunately, abusive parents are so good at portraying themselves as the victims, the 'hard-done-by' parent, that they sail through Hague Convention proceedings, and the abused parent then becomes a victim of the Hague Convention, as well as an increase in abuse.

And what about the children? What about the children's human rights?

I feel I've let my child down, that I can't protect her. 

Thanks again, and everyone should be more aware and more prepared in cross-border relationships.


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