# holy week



## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

was asked by wife last week if its ok if her brother comes again this yr for holy week. I said yes of course. Then he messaged me say saying he was going there to my house. I said ok good....then a few days ago I was told him and kids(I thought she meant a couple)nope,,him 6 kids,wife so 8 extra in total. I know its their way but I feel this is too excessive . I had a cat die last holy day I took from usa and she told me no vets were open so she couldn't save him. Now im thinking all this happened with a house full of relatives and she didn't have time. I have my 13 yr old tortoise shell there and I keep my house for her......if I didn't need her there feeding I would just end it all. Too old and tired for this Filipino nonsense
I told her no.
Now im wondering if last holy week there were 8 others in my house and my cat died. I like her to enjoy her family but that's too much. I told her its NOT a vacation rental! We live on subic bay and to them its a huge deal to come there from manila and drink etc


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## Tukaram (Dec 18, 2014)

My wife wants to add a 2nd bedroom to our house - I just smiled and told her she obviously did not understand my intent of building a 1 bedroom house.


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## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

Tukaram said:


> My wife wants to add a 2nd bedroom to our house - I just smiled and told her she obviously did not understand my intent of building a 1 bedroom house.


Tim, Same here. I feel quite sure that my Asawa's daughter & her illegitimate offspring (you have met them) would be living with us if I had not insisted on building a small single bedroom bungalow type house only big enough for 2 of us. I don't mind so much the occasional support and occasional inclusion but balk at what could have been the total support if I had allowed a larger house to be built. At least that issue no longer comes up. 

Lefties, Got to keep in mind that they do have a different thought process concerning family than we do.

Fred


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

I just hate im given the impression its 2 or 3 coming then I find out its 8.......I feel its deceitful...not happening!!!


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## bigpearl (Jan 24, 2016)

I hear and see pain that many go through over the years of reading forums and personal experiences also that I have been through over my last 8 years, expressed by many on this and other sites when it comes to family and or friends expectations if it involves a foreigner and dare I say a more affluent Filipino.

We live and learn, cultural norms/doctrines can be changed as they have within my now extended family, while yes we do give it is with moderation and my better half learnt many years ago that just because we are together it doesn't include the 5,000 relatives. Honestly, a simple no goes a long way. Including your partner in the financial arrangements and honest communication will save a lot of grief and then some.

Only my lowly opinion but for us it is working.

Cheers, Steve.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

bigpearl said:


> I hear and see pain that many go through over the years of reading forums and personal experiences also that I have been through over my last 8 years, expressed by many on this and other sites when it comes to family and or friends expectations if it involves a foreigner and dare I say a more affluent Filipino.
> 
> We live and learn, cultural norms/doctrines can be changed as they have within my now extended family, while yes we do give it is with moderation and my better half learnt many years ago that just because we are together it doesn't include the 5,000 relatives. Honestly, a simple no goes a long way. Including your partner in the financial arrangements and honest communication will save a lot of grief and then some.
> 
> ...


Agreed!!!


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

About two months before Holy Week about 6 years ago my wife's sister and her family 6 decided to come early and stay with us and to make matters worse they brought their friend and his family of an additional 4 more and who got stuck with the food requirements you guessed it.

Steve I've been there done that and even the wife finally wised up to her sisters who have given us the worst experiences not so much her brothers but it took such a long time for her to come around, so we no longer host anyone in our home anymore other than my kids and grandkids.

Sister tried to make up for it by paying for the Pool Resort and it sort of worked out nice and we had fun but the next month she needed her money back lol, I don't have to worry about this sister returning she owes so many people money she's wanted by the police so she stays up in Nueva Ecija and I couldn't be happier.


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## bigpearl (Jan 24, 2016)

I see and hear your story Mark and what you and others have said but perhaps I am a hard [email protected] and have never let myself been put in such a situation and given observations from expats sites as well as personal experiences will never fall into such situations. To date it is working. Tomorrow who can tell?

Cheers, Steve.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

bigpearl said:


> I see and hear your story Mark and what you and others have said but perhaps I am a hard [email protected] and have never let myself been put in such a situation and given observations from expats sites as well as personal experiences will never fall into such situations. To date it is working. Tomorrow who can tell?
> 
> Cheers, Steve.


Im with you 1000% on this steve. I never to date allowed any of this at my house. Now when informed of this and I have to assume its what took place last yr when my cat that I took from usa ended up dead I feel somewhat betrayed. Now its nipped in the bud


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

fmartin_gila said:


> Tim, Same here. I feel quite sure that my Asawa's daughter & her illegitimate offspring (you have met them) would be living with us if I had not insisted on building a small single bedroom bungalow type house only big enough for 2 of us. I don't mind so much the occasional support and occasional inclusion but balk at what could have been the total support if I had allowed a larger house to be built. At least that issue no longer comes up.
> 
> Lefties, Got to keep in mind that they do have a different thought process concerning family than we do.
> 
> Fred


I completely do. Im from an Italian family....BUT,when it causes harm to whats mine then its OUT!!!


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

Another huge issue with Holly Week is lack of services and many spots are closed and it will be worse starting Thursday. I had a tough time finding a plumber, our large steel pipe that is connected to the manual pump and feeds our electrical pump burst a couple of days ago so it's been rough without water to the home, I was finally able to catch the plumber early in the morning it's now fixed some finishing on Monday.

Traffic is very bad in and out of cities so if you have the chance today to get things purchased I'd get it done it only gets worse.

Note on animals... I've had many of my pets killed by? I've seen neighbors throw rocks and my dog was messing with their food but they sort of cook from the ground and process ducks this way by the hundreds they sell these ducks to business lol another thread about cleanliness, my wife is highly allergic to cats I won't go into detail but I'll bet there are many others allergic to cats and I'm sure neighbors will throw stones and I know they do I see them.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

mine are house cats...I would never leave an animal out in the philippines


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

As it turns out she was thankful I said no,i also messaged her brother and told him no. She didn't really want all of them in the house but her manners wouldn't allow her to refuse,so I played the heavy!!! I really like her brother,we are buds but I had to put a damper on it.


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## Gary D (Oct 28, 2013)

Good friday last year we were in Manila and vitually had the streets to ourselves


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## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*Exodus*



Gary D said:


> Good friday last year we were in Manila and vitually had the streets to ourselves


It's nicknamed the Exodus... People from the larger cities head to my area Laguna and other provincial areas or islands, also the many buses and trucks you can be stuck in gridlock or parking lot if headed south but I'm not sure about north of Manila.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

Subic beaches get wayyy over crowded at this time


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## expatuk2016 (Mar 20, 2016)

Holy week is normally fine for us as most of the family are scattered in various provinces 
and they all have good jobs so have to be back to work on monday.
Its all souls day they tend to invade us !
Luckily we have the family home with 3 bedrooms which is now empty since the mother passed and we have 2 buyo kubos which can sleep 2-6 the wife wont allow any family members to sleep in our house anyway.
The family are very good anyway so for me theres no problem and for me the wifes family is my family and has been for 17 years ! We do have a brother coming from legazpi this saturday as he is attending his class reunion .


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## digitalchic (Jul 11, 2019)

All boils down to setting boundaries. A NO is a no. If I don't feel like entertaining a crowd (thank goodness I have no family in the Philippines), I just say, I can't. I don't mind if I'll hurt their feelings rather than betraying myself when I know it's out of my will.

I learned in a hard way that they are nice to me because of my money. They are not really genuine to care   Now, I don't give in and stay away from "generosity".


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