# help



## pigeonpete (Jan 19, 2014)

I am not yet living in the philippines and the another day in paradise information is quite scary.I have been married to a philipino for 30 years but have only spent few short holidays there ,nearly or always escorted by my wife.I am now retired and thinking of moving to the philipines either cebu,maybe cammottes or carabao which is next island to borocay. It maybe a case of spending half a year in philipines and 6 months here in sydney. I have lived in australia since emigrating from england in the seventies, question is will I be able to adapt to the lifestyle of corruption. When I have had a holiday there and my wife gets with friends and relatives I am mostly a spectator as Idont understand a word they say. I think I would need some expat friends to talk to. I have stayed in Mabolo in cebu at my wifes relatives ,canot sleep cocks , dogs, music.traffic noise .My wife was born there knows everybody and loves it.I think if I come over for good this computer will be my best friend. My wife is over there now I will probably go there in four to six weeks. Hope to talk to another likeminded expat while I am there. I


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## cvgtpc1 (Jul 28, 2012)

pigeonpete said:


> I am not yet living in the philippines and the another day in paradise information is quite scary.I have been married to a philipino for 30 years but have only spent few short holidays there ,nearly or always escorted by my wife.I am now retired and thinking of moving to the philipines either cebu,maybe cammottes or carabao which is next island to borocay. It maybe a case of spending half a year in philipines and 6 months here in sydney. I have lived in australia since emigrating from england in the seventies, question is will I be able to adapt to the lifestyle of corruption. When I have had a holiday there and my wife gets with friends and relatives I am mostly a spectator as Idont understand a word they say. I think I would need some expat friends to talk to. I have stayed in Mabolo in cebu at my wifes relatives ,canot sleep cocks , dogs, music.traffic noise .My wife was born there knows everybody and loves it.I think if I come over for good this computer will be my best friend. My wife is over there now I will probably go there in four to six weeks. Hope to talk to another likeminded expat while I am there. I


Very valid concerns. Why I'm changing thoughts from retiring to the sticks in Samar to Angeles where there's more action. Something to be said about being 2+ hrs versus 15 mins from a mall and a McDs if you get the hankering.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

cvgtpc1 said:


> Very valid concerns. Why I'm changing thoughts from retiring to the sticks in Samar to Angeles where there's more action. Something to be said about being 2+ hrs versus 15 mins from a mall and a McDs if you get the hankering.


I left rural leyte after typhoon and back to subic. I don't miss it a bit.


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## pigeonpete (Jan 19, 2014)

lefties43332 said:


> I left rural leyte after typhoon and back to subic. I don't miss it a bit.


Thanks for your reply, I am not good at socialing and like a quite lifestyle so not sure I would like city life. my wife reckons I am boring.


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## subseastu (Sep 23, 2013)

My wifes province is western samar where we have a rice farm and wood house. The barrio has no road to it and no running water!! To get in and out is walk for an hour through jungle and rice paddies or 20 mins in a banka boat. Our weekly shop to Tacloban takes about 12 hrs round trip. There is nothing to do but sit on the terrace, read and decide when to start drinking!! It is quiet which is nice but your at the mercy of the family. I don't speak visayan and nearly all of them don't speak english. Of course the house is full most of the time so you end up feeding alot of people. I casn last about 3 weeks then its time to get out.

The quiet life is nice for a while but due to proximity of family its never really quiet and can get expensive (especailly with the exchange rate as it is plus with the recent typhoon prices and v high and its going to take a long time for the infastructure torebuild). 

We stay in Olongapo and its great being only a few minutes from most of what you need. I'm like you and don't really meet people in the street that often but you'll have a better chance near a town / city than out in the sticks.

As for the corruption thing, yes there is a lot but keep your head down and your wits about you and you should be ok


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## pigeonpete (Jan 19, 2014)

HI, I find it hard to cope with not being able to know what they are talking about, maybe best to ignore it all and just enjoy a beer. did it take long to adjust or have you not adjusted sounds like you would be in the cold shower brigade.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

U can have it quiet and still be near a town. I live in rural.subic where its very quiet and have many oz mates.


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## pigeonpete (Jan 19, 2014)

Thanks for your input lefty,I think I would have to have a mate or two to talk to ,that would make a pressure valve effect if I get a bit overwhelmed with the change.


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## subseastu (Sep 23, 2013)

pigeonpete said:


> HI, I find it hard to cope with not being able to know what they are talking about, maybe best to ignore it all and just enjoy a beer. did it take long to adjust or have you not adjusted sounds like you would be in the cold shower brigade.


Well to be honest now we have a tv in the province I just watch stuff off my hard drive, or read my kindle on the terrace. Where the farm is and because it so rural people get up at dawn and go to bed when it gets dark. I turn into an old man there and just potter about!!! The not being able to understand thing did wind me up at the start and I do miss talking to other English speakers out there. If there is anything I need to know or anything I want to ask the wife is the translator. Can be fun, can be a pain. I can only do it for a few weeks at a time though and I start to crave a warm shower, tv, get to the store and back in under 10 hours etc!

I've been coming to the Philippines on and off since 1997 I think, spending quite a bit of time here about 12 years ago when I met the wife. Things have moved on in that time but I knew what to expect. Basically don't fight it, go with the flow, it's nothing like it is where you live now, things are done at there own pace which can be affected by attitude / cash. The beer is cheapish, the weather is normally nice, give it a go.

Transport is the key. If you want to be out on the sticks a bit that's fine but have a car or man with a van to take you. There is a better chance of meeting expats in and around towns. It can be hard meeting people here, I find it difficult around olongapo due to the proximity of baretto and subic, and the type of people these places can attract. I personally don't want to hang out these days with a guy who spends all his time in the girlie bars. I would've when I was younger and single but not now and married! Ain't worth the trouble with the wife! Haha.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

pigeonpete said:


> Thanks for your input lefty,I think I would have to have a mate or two to talk to ,that would make a pressure valve effect if I get a bit overwhelmed with the change.


Pete I sent u. A private message


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

Hi Pete,

For me, the not understanding the language is a blessing for the most part. I'm free to do my own thing such as reading, watching TV etc. So then when I hear English in the house, my ears perk up as I know it's directed at or for me.


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## jon1 (Mar 18, 2012)

Pete,

There is quite a large ExPat population up near San Miguel and Pundaquit beach. It's about 40 minutes from the Freeport. Also the there is a great meetup place there. The Fleet Reserve Association Fleet Reserve Association, San Miguel Branch 367 (Philippines) lots of retired US Vets and Foreigners (Aussies, Brits, etc.) frequent the place. I believe they have about 4-500 members at present. They usually have great sausages, sandwiches and plenty of ice cold beer.


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## Maxx62 (Dec 31, 2013)

pigeonpete said:


> I am not yet living in the philippines and the another day in paradise information is quite scary.I have been married to a philipino for 30 years but have only spent few short holidays there ,nearly or always escorted by my wife.I am now retired and thinking of moving to the philipines either cebu,maybe cammottes or carabao which is next island to borocay. It maybe a case of spending half a year in philipines and 6 months here in sydney. I have lived in australia since emigrating from england in the seventies, question is will I be able to adapt to the lifestyle of corruption. When I have had a holiday there and my wife gets with friends and relatives I am mostly a spectator as Idont understand a word they say. I think I would need some expat friends to talk to. I have stayed in Mabolo in cebu at my wifes relatives ,canot sleep cocks , dogs, music.traffic noise .My wife was born there knows everybody and loves it.I think if I come over for good this computer will be my best friend. My wife is over there now I will probably go there in four to six weeks. Hope to talk to another likeminded expat while I am there. I


Hi pigeonpete. I'm sorry I didn't mean to discourage you with my story, Another Day In Paradise. I guess I was feeling a bit frustrated when I typed that story, and part of the reason I felt so frustrated was due to the fact that living here on Mactan Island, (Lapu Lapu City) hasn't really matched the expectations I developed for the place during the past 25+ plus years. I guess I knew that things had changed over the years, but my experiences the other day forced me to realize just how much this place had changed, and Lapu Lapu today really bares little resemblance to what it used to be back in 1986. 

I guess I was kicking myself a little bit for not taking all of these changes into account, before coming over here to build a house, and selling everything in the US. After I got home form the body shop, I thought to myself that I really should have paid closer attention to all the changes that occurred here between 2004 and the present, and maybe I would have opted to stay back in the US. 

Well, I've had a few days to calm down, and I now realize that although things are not perfect here, you can get through each day if you have a positive outlook, and also keep on your toes for conartits. I've haven't completely made up my mind one way or another, but I just observe things over the next few weeks.

Also, my in-laws all believe that I'm fluent in their dialect even though I can only understand a few common words and phrases. I recommend learning a few of the more common words so that they will think you can understand everything they are saying. Also, stay on your mother-in-laws good side, which isn't always easy, and that will help avoid a lot of friction also. Also, my in-laws have learned over the years that they can't fool me, but I come in handy at other things such as typing letters, for them, or taking a look at their cars. 

But as a wise man once said, your mileage may vary


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## pigeonpete (Jan 19, 2014)

Hallo Max,My mother in law is dead so I dont know what her good side is. I am sure it would be the same as here ,when all there friends arrive ,might as well not be there go and do some work in the garden or go to pub.


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## pigeonpete (Jan 19, 2014)

hallo Jon, Thanks I will have to look up those places ,as I dont know where they are.Really happy with the responses I have had thanks every body


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## Maxx62 (Dec 31, 2013)

pigeonpete said:


> Hallo Max,My mother in law is dead so I dont know what her good side is. I am sure it would be the same as here ,when all there friends arrive ,might as well not be there go and do some work in the garden or go to pub.


Hey pidgeonpete, Well there is almost always some big matriarch in everyone's klan over here, maybe it isn't always your mother-in-law, and maybe sometimes the big cheese might actually turn out to be your sister-in-law, or one of your wife's aunts, but the same basic rule applies, try to stay on her good side, and everything will be much smoother.

Another thing, some of your wife's female relatives may try to play hanky-panky with you. Don't do it, it just isn't worth it.


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

Pete......in my house its my rules..my wife agrees


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

Pete...castillejos is closer and has a great expat community........my neighbors are about 30% oz......n30% american....30% filipino


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## DonAndAbby (Jan 7, 2013)

Maxx62 said:


> Hi pigeonpete. I'm sorry I didn't mean to discourage you with my story, Another Day In Paradise. I guess I was feeling a bit frustrated when I typed that story, and part of the reason I felt so frustrated was due to the fact that living here on Mactan Island, (Lapu Lapu City) hasn't really matched the expectations I developed for the place during the past 25+ plus years. I guess I knew that things had changed over the years, but my experiences the other day forced me to realize just how much this place had changed, and Lapu Lapu today really bares little resemblance to what it used to be back in 1986.
> 
> I guess I was kicking myself a little bit for not taking all of these changes into account, before coming over here to build a house, and selling everything in the US. After I got home form the body shop, I thought to myself that I really should have paid closer attention to all the changes that occurred here between 2004 and the present, and maybe I would have opted to stay back in the US.
> 
> ...


Max, I just replied to your bad day post and now I went right to this. I see that after some time has passed, things appear a bit differently. That is usually the case for all of us.

Pete and Max, when we were looking for a place to settle, we visited Cebu City and went to Mactan for a day drive. I was not impressed. If you want a safe and more civilized environment, consider the Subic Bay Freeport where Jon and I are. Yes, it will cost you more, but you get what you pay for!


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## DonAndAbby (Jan 7, 2013)

pigeonpete said:


> I am not yet living in the philippines and the another day in paradise information is quite scary.I have been married to a philipino for 30 years but have only spent few short holidays there ,nearly or always escorted by my wife.I am now retired and thinking of moving to the philipines either cebu,maybe cammottes or carabao which is next island to borocay. It maybe a case of spending half a year in philipines and 6 months here in sydney. I have lived in australia since emigrating from england in the seventies, question is will I be able to adapt to the lifestyle of corruption. When I have had a holiday there and my wife gets with friends and relatives I am mostly a spectator as Idont understand a word they say. I think I would need some expat friends to talk to. I have stayed in Mabolo in cebu at my wifes relatives ,canot sleep cocks , dogs, music.traffic noise .My wife was born there knows everybody and loves it.I think if I come over for good this computer will be my best friend. My wife is over there now I will probably go there in four to six weeks. Hope to talk to another likeminded expat while I am there. I


Being close to her family may make her happy, but it sounds like you will be miserable. Financially is probably not wise either. Don't move there. Choose a place you like.


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## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

DonAndAbby said:


> Being close to her family may make her happy, but it sounds like you will be miserable. Financially is probably not wise either. Don't move there. Choose a place you like.


Very true in most cases. At home in the States or other Western countries we are raised to be independent and for the most part we live that way. Here, they are raised to be and are forever interdependent for life. It's all in what you are use to from childhood and here it is the "norm". For you sanity, and for your marriage, it is most wise to put as much distance between you and your wife's family as possible. 
Even the Filipina wives seem to see the benefit of the separation after several years--Mine did..


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## lefties43332 (Oct 21, 2012)

Jet Lag said:


> Very true in most cases. At home in the States or other Western countries we are raised to be independent and for the most part we live that way. Here, they are raised to be and are forever interdependent for life. It's all in what you are use to from childhood and here it is the "norm". For you sanity, and for your marriage, it is most wise to put as much distance between you and your wife's family as possible.
> Even the Filipina wives seem to see the benefit of the separation after several years--Mine did..


Mine sees the benefit also. She tells me she doesn't miss leyte at allm I'm very lucky.


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## pigeonpete (Jan 19, 2014)

Don and Abby, HIT the nail on the head with your interdependant statement, After 3o years of marriage and being top of the tree the culture is neccesary .I am still coming to terms with it


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