# So called negative prejudice against Farang



## Bulgakov

Hi,

I have read in this forum and elsewhere than Thai women prefer to date Thai men and those who dated Farangs were doing so for the money. Is there some of you who think differently? 

I am a new member of an online dating site. As soon as I put a picture, I received many emails from younger Thai women who were interested in me. I am not ugly but I am not Brad Pitt either. They seem very interested by how I describe myself and what I am looking for. Many of those women have a university degree and a good job. I am sure that those beautiful, young and educated women could easily find a Thai man. The fact that they are looking for a foreigner seem to me to prove that the so called negative prejudice against Farang is not widespread as some may think. What is your opinion?

Bulgakov


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## King Silk

Bulgakov said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have read in this forum and elsewhere than Thai women prefer to date Thai men and those who dated Farangs were doing so for the money. Is there some of you who think differently?
> 
> I am a new member of an online dating site. As soon as I put a picture, I received many emails from younger Thai women who were interested in me. I am not ugly but I am not Brad Pitt either. They seem very interested by how I describe myself and what I am looking for. Many of those women have a university degree and a good job. I am sure that those beautiful, young and educated women could easily find a Thai man. The fact that they are looking for a foreigner seem to me to prove that the so called negative prejudice against Farang is not widespread as some may think. What is your opinion?
> 
> Bulgakov


If you are an old git, they want you for your money. For sure.
If you are young and reasonably good looking they may, if they have no desperate need of cash, be attracted to you for who you are......or they may simply want to leave Thailand.
A lot of Thai girls I have known bad mouth Thai men who, they say, beat them, took their money and bought whisky with it. Therefore they hate them.
They have often been deserted by men who have given them 2/3 kids and NEVER supported them in any financial way.
That's where the 'stoopid' Farangs come in. We are expected to pay, to bring up HIS children for him! *I won't do it! 
*


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## Bulgakov

Maybe you are bad lucky. Among the nice Thai women I have chat since yesterday, I have meet a beautiful 31 years old women who has a university degree, no child and do not plan to have any. I am 49 years and only slightly above average looking (mainly because I still have hairs and I am not overweight). Maybe Thai women find Caucasian attractive the way we find Asian attractive.

Bulgakov



King Silk said:


> If you are an old git, they want you for your money. For sure.
> If you are young and reasonably good looking they may, if they have no desperate need of cash, be attracted to you for who you are......or they may simply want to leave Thailand.
> A lot of Thai girls I have known bad mouth Thai men who, they say, beat them, took their money and bought whisky with it. Therefore they hate them.
> They have often been deserted by men who have given them 2/3 kids and NEVER supported them in any financial way.
> That's where the 'stoopid' Farangs come in. We are expected to pay, to bring up HIS children for him! *I won't do it!
> *


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## Guest

Many Thai women have very skilful little fingers. You can find yourself wrapped around one in no time. The trick is to give yourself plenty of time before commitment. You may think you have found 'the One', but early on it is usually enthusiasm and euphoria, on your first visit in particular, that is carrying you away. 

Over time you have opportunities to meet many women, and hopefully find the the right one for you. That involves some luck, a lack of naivety, patience and a healthy degree of scepticism. Good to spend some time with a seasoned expat in town who can show you the ropes.

In the end though, you 'pays your money, and you takes your choice'. And whatever you may believe, whether it's a university graduate or a bar girl for you, you will be doing plenty of the former! There are lovely, good-natured bar girls who are yearning to get out of the business, and scheming, cold-hearted women who are from 'proper' society. That's life (whatever part of the world you are in), you just have to get good at telling the difference in Thailand, no easy task... and quickly!


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## KhwaamLap

Bulgakov said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have read in this forum and elsewhere than Thai women prefer to date Thai men and those who dated Farangs were doing so for the money. Is there some of you who think differently?
> 
> I am a new member of an online dating site. As soon as I put a picture, I received many emails from younger Thai women who were interested in me. I am not ugly but I am not Brad Pitt either. They seem very interested by how I describe myself and what I am looking for. Many of those women have a university degree and a good job. I am sure that those beautiful, young and educated women could easily find a Thai man. The fact that they are looking for a foreigner seem to me to prove that the so called negative prejudice against Farang is not widespread as some may think. What is your opinion?
> 
> Bulgakov


As already said, its half and half. If the girl is under 25 and the guy 20 years or so her senior, then it will almost certainly be for money. Having said that, it can often be beneficial to both parties too. Some girls in this bracket are gold diggers and some just want someone who will look after them.

When the girl gets above 25 or is divorced or widowed, then they many well just be lonely.

My wife didn't like Thai men - she had never had a boyfriend (of any type due to her upbringing - traditional), but she saw her older sister being cheated on and her college friends getting pregnant and dumped or, again, cheated on. So, she never would trust one. This is not an isolated case, many Thai girls do not trust Thai men - they are a reputation of being lazy husbands that are quick to hit and are unfaithful, whereas farangs generally have a reputation of being generaous, caring, help at home and faithful. Of course, we all know that western men 'wander' too, but its the reputation that counts.

Back to my opinion, your question: I think some Thai women prefer Thai men and some Thai women prefer Farangs, and also some Thai women think that Farangs are their only choice. The hard bit is figuring out which is which.

It should also be noted that Gold Diggers are not only Thai - look at the busty blonde 20 year olds with ugly 30 year old sportsmen and 50+ year old bonkers/businessmen.


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## mikecwm

Bulgakov said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have read in this forum and elsewhere than Thai women prefer to date Thai men and those who dated Farangs were doing so for the money. Is there some of you who think differently?
> 
> I am a new member of an online dating site. As soon as I put a picture, I received many emails from younger Thai women who were interested in me. I am not ugly but I am not Brad Pitt either. They seem very interested by how I describe myself and what I am looking for. Many of those women have a university degree and a good job. I am sure that those beautiful, young and educated women could easily find a Thai man. The fact that they are looking for a foreigner seem to me to prove that the so called negative prejudice against Farang is not widespread as some may think. What is your opinion?
> 
> Bulgakov


Thai women prefer Thai men? Only if they want their lives controlled, no freedom to travel, kids kids and kids.
My wife of 4 years is a Thai accountant who never wanted to have kids. She chose not to marry a Thai man for the above reasons. I met her because her sister (university educated as well) is married to a Farang friend of mine - she also did not want to marry a Thai man for the above reasons. 
I feel like I have been blessed beyond all I could ever have hoped for. We have a wonderful relationship. She loves my 14 year old son to pieces - and he her. 
We hike, camp, sail, love the opera together, joke together, travel, make plans for our future in Thailand together when I retire in 6 years. 
She may have partly married me to help give her financial security (show me a western woman who doesn't have that at the back of her mind as well) but she also married for companionship and love - as I did. 
The secret of course is finding the right woman. 
Good luck with your dating - a university educated woman at least is not just in it for your money - she is looking for a kind and generous man ready to accept her countries customs and meet her family and friends without judgement and with a ready smile and laugh. Thais love to laugh.


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## King Silk

I think there is more good sense in this thread than in......er.....weeeell......anywhere.

Take note all you (potentially) 'stoopid' Farangs.

Personally, I am totally fedup with Gold Diggers.........


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## witfalait

Now now, there you all go again. The ladies are lovely, end of story. If things go wrong in our lives, it is more than likely to be our own silly fault.


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## Acid_Crow

King Silk said:


> I think there is more good sense in this thread than in......er.....weeeell......anywhere.
> 
> Take note all you (potentially) 'stoopid' Farangs.
> 
> Personally, I am totally fedup with Gold Diggers.........


Wow, a man living in Pattaya fed up with Gold-Digging bar girls?


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## Serendipity2

King Silk said:


> I think there is more good sense in this thread than in......er.....weeeell......anywhere.
> 
> Take note all you (potentially) 'stoopid' Farangs.
> 
> Personally, I am totally fedup with Gold Diggers.........



Silk,

Your concern about "gold diggers" is something for ALL of us farang to keep in mind. Do you think if I fed your pooches foi gras or some other delicious doggy treats they wouldn't run off with me because I fed them better? Would that make them "gold diggers" too?  

Serendipity2


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## Guest

Maybe there are certain parts of the country that attract the 'gold-diggers', for obvious reasons. But the bottom line is that we know the risks - those of us of a certain age should be going into this with our eyes wide open. No matter what we hear about Thai ladies preferring the farangs because they have had enough of their Thai consorts and their allegedly abusive behaviour, how age is unimportant, bla bla bla, we know - or we should know - that unless we are excessively well preserved, a big age gap isn't conducive to the perfect relationship - no matter how much goodwill there is on both sides to start out.

There are exceptions of course. It is a fact that Thai women over 30 are beginning to think themselves 'over the hill' if they haven't found the right man yet. It's true that they are practical and will compromise on the ideal man for a degree of security. But let's not kid ourselves. Overweight, balding middle-aged men are not God's gift to women no matter how much they may kid themselves, nor are they sex Adonises irrespective of the number of Viagra tabs they've got stashed away in their wallets for the right occasion. 

Another known problem, no matter where you are in the world, is that of the cross-cultural relationship. A far larger percentage of these result in break-ups than between partners from the same country. And that's the case even within Europe, where there are more similarities than dissimilarities. So imagine the chances for a European or American tie-up with an Asian, with say a twenty or thirty year age gap. Not good.

No my view is that it is not so much an issue of cold-hearted, gold-digging Thai women bent on manipulation and exploitation that results in problems - but the fantasy view of the ideal relationship many a farang has on arriving in Thailand. After perhaps a hard life, broken relationships, he may feel he deserves a break - and then it all goes pear-shaped yet again. It's not easy to blame ourselves, so we find another easy target to accuse. The girl. All her fault.


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## King Silk

Serendipity2 said:


> Silk,
> 
> Your concern about "gold diggers" is something for ALL of us farang to keep in mind. Do you think if I fed your pooches foi gras or some other delicious doggy treats they wouldn't run off with me because I fed them better? Would that make them "gold diggers" too?
> 
> Serendipity2


Yes AC I am fed up to the Bluddy teeth with them........

And my pooches wouldn't go off with any one for any thing! So there.......


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## blue eyes

I will never forget the first time I heard one of my sister-in law's say to my wife "you won the farang lottery"!!!!!!How true it is.That was before everyone found out I could understand some Thai.Then it became my quest to learn the Korat and Lao language.Because they switched.Which is not that different from central Thai.We have a great relationship.We do many things together that she and I enjoy.Yes it was a farang lottery if you want to look at it that way.But as my wife has said to me "I better my life with you".Yes she did and I better my life with her.So I have a great wife to take care of me and our home and she has a husband to take care of her and her WHOLE family,if I let that happen.
As to negative prejudice aginst farangs.Yes it is there with the double pricing ,the times they ignore me in the store.But I have found that many times they just are afraid to speak with me because thay cannot speak english.Bangkok and the tourist areas of Thailand is where I feel the most out right "I do not like you farang" type of attitude.It is very rare in the rural areas that I have been.


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## jjk

Hi,

First of all my compliments to all posters about the different topics in this forum. So much valuable advice is given to those that need it. I know from first hand it is not easy to step over the threshold and start a new life far from home. The advice given here can lower that threshold.

Back in 1996 I moved to Asia and the stay was intended for 3 years (ended up staying 3x as long). The first months and years I spent going out till the wee hours of the morning (yes, still got the work done) and dated women of different races. Indian, Chinese, Thai, Malay, etc. I never felt like settling down, but I did notice that some of these women were more interested in my credit card than me. Oh well, can’t blame them, since they look at us “white” people as a lottery ticket. Then there is a group that just look for a great night out and if it was a good night they loved to continue until breakfast. You would not hear from them until you met up in the bar again and either it would repeat or you could move on. There is also a group that is not at all interested in settling down with an Asian guy. This can be for different reasons, but mentality is an important one. I consider myself lucky. I met this fantastic gal who was a bit conservative. She worked for me and I had to make a real effort in order to “tackle her”, as she put it. Next year we will celebrate our 10th anniversary and we have 2 wonderful kids as proof of how lucky we both are. Now we are back in Europe for 5 years and I am in advanced talks about landing a job in Thailand. When it gets that far I am sure I will use this great forum to have some questions answered, but at this time it is still too early.

For those who fall in the arms of an Asian (Thai) women just let it roll. Don’t get head over heels right away. There are fantastic women out there and only patience will tell you if she is the right one for you or not. It is better to take a year or so to find out if she is mrs. Right then that you end up after several years with a painful divorce. Even worst if kids are involved.


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## bmeade8

Bulgakov said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have read in this forum and elsewhere than Thai women prefer to date Thai men and those who dated Farangs were doing so for the money. Is there some of you who think differently?
> 
> I am a new member of an online dating site. As soon as I put a picture, I received many emails from younger Thai women who were interested in me. I am not ugly but I am not Brad Pitt either. They seem very interested by how I describe myself and what I am looking for. Many of those women have a university degree and a good job. I am sure that those beautiful, young and educated women could easily find a Thai man. The fact that they are looking for a foreigner seem to me to prove that the so called negative prejudice against Farang is not widespread as some may think. What is your opinion?
> 
> Bulgakov


well I think your wrong to assume they are well educated and such. come here find out the truth about life here and then say we who have been here along time are wrong and the Thais are right. Man they are going to rob you blind! your just what they are looking for. a farang who would rather say the Thais are right before you have spent one day or one baht in country. she will do everything you want and make your sex dreams come true and when you are so happy she will say "look at my parents house we so poor it falling down. i want to help them to build a better place. you say that sounds nice and you give some money and the game begins. please don't start with they are right and we are wrong. It makes many of us who just try to help angry that you might spit in our faces. Yes their are some who just right neg threads but most have a story to tell if you listen you will learn. then their will be a chance for happyness here. If not just come and see for your self what the truth is.

P.S. We are dogs to the Thais. they only want us for money, house, car, and land which you can't own. if they could find away to get rid of us all and still get our money they would. and most bar girls do. they have three or four guys sending them money every month while they are screwing everything that can walk of talk. this is the cold hard tuths of Thailand!!!!!!
think i'm wrong just ask anyone who has been here more than 10 years.

sorry to rain on your parade


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## Guest

Sorry bmeade, but generalisations like that are completely unhelpful. _"We are dogs to the Thais"_ may reflect your experience, but it certainly doesn't reflect mine, nor that of many other farangs I know.

It is wise advice not to believe everything you hear/read from Thais on dating sites, of course I agree with you there. Many alleged contributions from Thai women are written by professionals, who spend their days doing nothing else, for a fee. Some are written by the Thai girls themselves, but who know exactly what to write to win over their would-be internet lovers... and what's more, have half a dozen other guys on the go at the same time.

There are exceptions, and a shrewd mind can usually separate the genuine ones from the scammers... but naive guys seem to outnumber the shrewd by far, which is what makes it worthwhile for the scammers in the first place.

Before my first visit I got to know one girl via the Internet - a tourist guide. It didn't work out between us in the end, after a few weeks together in Chiang Mai, but everything she had told me about herself (job, finances, family) was 100% true. 

There are plenty of Thai girls in their early/mid-30s who have good jobs and an education, possibly a child or two as well - who are scorned by Thai males for being a) too old b) second-hand goods. But to plenty of farangs, a beautiful 31 year old even with a child or two is their idea of bliss. It certainly was mine, three years on it still is, and I haven't bought a buffalo yet.

Women are women wherever they are in the world. The ones living on the breadline in a country with no social security or state health system, with kids and possibly mum and dad to subsidise, and little chance of a well-paid job, are going to be more cunning and sometimes more ruthless than most - quite understandably so. But these are not the majority of Thai women by any means - only a sizeable number of those you meet if you only frequent the bars. There are plenty of other fish in the Thai seas, if you take your time, and aren't easily fooled.


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## bmeade8

frogblogger said:


> Sorry bmeade, but generalisations like that are completely unhelpful. _"We are dogs to the Thais"_ may reflect your experience, but it certainly doesn't reflect mine, nor that of many other farangs I know.
> 
> It is wise advice not to believe everything you hear/read from Thais on dating sites, of course I agree with you there. Many alleged contributions from Thai women are written by professionals, who spend their days doing nothing else, for a fee. Some are written by the Thai girls themselves, but who know exactly what to write to win over their would-be internet lovers... and what's more, have half a dozen other guys on the go at the same time.
> 
> There are exceptions, and a shrewd mind can usually separate the genuine ones from the scammers... but naive guys seem to outnumber the shrewd by far, which is what makes it worthwhile for the scammers in the first place.
> 
> Before my first visit I got to know one girl via the Internet - a tourist guide. It didn't work out between us in the end, after a few weeks together in Chiang Mai, but everything she had told me about herself (job, finances, family) was 100% true.
> 
> There are plenty of Thai girls in their early/mid-30s who have good jobs and an education, possibly a child or two as well - who are scorned by Thai males for being a) too old b) second-hand goods. But to plenty of farangs, a beautiful 31 year old even with a child or two is their idea of bliss. It certainly was mine, three years on it still is, and I haven't bought a buffalo yet.
> 
> Women are women wherever they are in the world. The ones living on the breadline in a country with no social security or state health system, with kids and possibly mum and dad to subsidise, and little chance of a well-paid job, are going to be more cunning and sometimes more ruthless than most - quite understandably so. But these are not the majority of Thai women by any means - only a sizeable number of those you meet if you only frequent the bars. There are plenty of other fish in the Thai seas, if you take your time, and aren't easily fooled.


Look it is true every word i said. i live here 14 years and i understand Thai culter better than most Thais, proff is many come to ask me why something happened to them. although i wish i didn't i might have been happier not knowing. I was married 12y and i didn't buy the buf until year 9. so say what you want but you will someday. saying you wount is just being blind better to onen your eyes and see what is real.
Question do you speak thai? how about the local dialect for where you are?
well I speak Thai and eason and the north + lao. So if you can't understand what they are saying how do you know how they feel. Thais are like ice bergs with 90% below the surface. On top all you see is the smile below the truth never is seen. to know what is down thier you have to listen carfully and know what the Thai jokes mean as well as know how they feel about dif situations. look i could school all day long but you sound like no matter what is said you have your own idea about how it really is here. so lets agree to talk again when your 4-5-6-7 year anniversery comes and we will see who was right and who was living in the dream world.

"everything she had told me about herself (job, finances, family) was 100% true." 
It always is, its just 5% of the truth. it's what she didn't tell you that is what is going to comeback and bite you in the ass. Do you think every guy who tells you the story about how he lost millions of baht is stupid? thier not they are just like you. they trust because that is what our culture has told them to do. look it all boils down to you don't understand Thai culture and you think it is similar to ours. It isn't it is 180 out from ours. I could take you places and show you thinks and explain what is really going on. i did this with my current wife and she was shocked. frist that i said what i said and then that i was right after asking some question. she said she is Thai and she never knew these things. you know why because they are just like you they choose to close their eyes to what it really is like here. sad for them because this lets many of the really bad people to just keep doing to them what they have been for thousands of years and all the Thais will say is their is black and their is white in life. you ever ask why they change from speaking thai to eason around you when they know you can understand? what is it they have to hide? they don't want you to know what is really being said of coarse, but why. is it because they think you are to stupid to understand? no. is it because they think you won't like what is said. 50% the rest is because they don't respect us like that they do this with out thinking it is just normal.and any girl who teaches you to speak will get an ear full for sure and many won't speak to her any more as well not speak in front of you. ok enough i do wish you good luck and i hope you don;t end up being one of those guys who get killed because you walk into something you didn;t understand.


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## Guest

Ok I take your 14 years and raise you three long-term male expats - a bilingual 'Nam vet, an author and a University professor who have all been there for similarly lengthy stays, or even longer. Does that invalidate your experience? Of course not. But they (and I) have the common sense understanding that you don't generalise from the particular, that each anecdotal account is no more than that - an anecdote - and that a deeper understanding of South-East Asian culture and cross-cultural relationships is needed. I've been living away from my home country for nearly twenty-five years in total, haven't been back for ten years, and am a linguist, even if my Thai is relatively basic so far. My understanding of Thailand from personal experience isn't the issue. My awareness, intuition and intelligence as a career expat is key, and they tell me that you are having trouble seeing beyond your own understanding and recognising the validity of the opinions of those who have just as much right to claim an insight into the Thai way of life as you do. Quite possibly more, given your reaction so far.

All three people I mentioned have a different and more objective awareness to you. Probably a more extensive one, from what you write. They accept that there are examples of exploitation and resentment (as I pointed out myself, and you ignored). But there are plenty of examples where the opposite is true - it is a shame that your personal experience has led you towards bitterness and subjectivism, rather than looking for a broader-based position.

One thing that has helped me towards a better understanding has been my relationship (platonic) with a female (Thai) university lecturer friend (another one), an English professor. I don't just rely on my personal experience - I debate, I talk to others that have been in LOS for years, and I read around the subject. After long hours of discussion with said professor I've learned a fair bit more than your average bar crawler - no matter how many years he's spent crawling.

The bottom line (and not just from me, from those I've mentioned) is that the insightful, objective, non-judgmental Westerner who comes to LOS without a cultural superiority chip on his shoulder, is easily accepted. It surprises the Thais when they come across a farang who doesn't think he hails from a superior way of life, but it quickly sinks in and they like you for it.

Of course it helps to be streetwise. But the simplistic gold-digger, money-grabbing, farang-hating stereotype is no more than that - a stereotype. And the few who actually approach that character type are the ones that graduate towards the Thai-haters and/or the extremely naive. Opposites - and idiots - attract.

So I repeat - while your experience is worth bearing in mind, it is no more than that - an experience. There is no reason why anyone should accept your perception, and dismiss the others I have mentioned. In fact, I can think of several reasons why they should prefer my more objective approach.

I am sorry that your negative personal experiences have tainted your understanding to the extent they apparently have. There are plenty of idiots who have lost millions of baht as you say. But a fool and his money is easily parted. And fools there are aplenty, in LOS or anywhere else. If they are dumb enough to lose big time financially, then that says a lot to me about their ability to understand human nature wherever they live - ie pretty limited to non-existent. 

I have not bought property in Thailand, have not cured any sick buffalo and never will, so thanks for your concern but worry about yourself first. Anyone with a 'them and us' attitude like yours must be having a terrible time integrating, and usually has had the sort of negative experiences, especially financial, that I will always avoid... unless I go senile or something.


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## chuck71055

Well I have been on this forum for awhile, but never posted so here goes, and throw stones if you must, bmeade8, Of course thai culture is different., Why do you think we all Love it here ? Why do you think most of us choose to live here ? As far as the thai woman, try to put yourself in their shoes, Have you ever been flat broke ? and still expected to feed your father, mother, brother, sister and possibly a child ? I think you have not. So dont judge everyone by only ones actions. Do you think in USA women are 100% truthful to their men ? do you think they do not keep secrets ? if you think that, I feel sorry for you. It seems you have a problem living in Thai, why not go home, life is too short to be unhappy.


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## bmeade8

frogblogger said:


> Ok I take your 14 years and raise you three long-term male expats - a bilingual 'Nam vet, an author and a University professor who have all been there for similarly lengthy stays, or even longer. Does that invalidate your experience? Of course not. But they (and I) have the common sense understanding that you don't generalise from the particular, that each anecdotal account is no more than that - an anecdote - and that a deeper understanding of South-East Asian culture and cross-cultural relationships is needed. I've been living away from my home country for nearly twenty-five years in total, haven't been back for ten years, and am a linguist, even if my Thai is relatively basic so far. My understanding of Thailand from personal experience isn't the issue. My awareness, intuition and intelligence as a career expat is key, and they tell me that you are having trouble seeing beyond your own understanding and recognising the validity of the opinions of those who have just as much right to claim an insight into the Thai way of life as you do. Quite possibly more, given your reaction so far.
> 
> All three people I mentioned have a different and more objective awareness to you. Quite possibly a more extensive one, from what you write. They accept that there are examples of exploitation and resentment (as I pointed out myself, and you ignored). But there are plenty of examples where the opposite is true - it is a shame that your personal experience has led you towards bitterness and subjectivism, rather than looking for a broader-based position.
> 
> One thing that has helped me towards a better understanding has been my relationship (platonic) with a female (Thai) university lecturer friend (another one), an English professor. I don't just rely on my personal experience - I debate, I talk to others that have been in LOS for years, and I read around the subject. After long hours of discussion with said professor I've learned a fair bit more than your average bar crawler - no matter how many years he's spent crawling.
> 
> The bottom line (and not just from me, from those I've mentioned) is that the insightful, objective, non-judgmental Westerner who comes to LOS without a cultural superiority chip on his shoulder, is easily accepted. It surprises the Thais when they come across a farang who doesn't think he hails from a superior way of life, but it quickly sinks in and they like you for it.
> 
> Of course it helps to be streetwise. But the simplistic gold-digger, money-grabbing, farang-hating stereotype is no more than that - a stereotype. And the few who actually approach that character type are the ones that graduate towards the Thai-haters and/or the extremely naive. Opposites - and idiots - attract.
> 
> So I repeat - while your experience is worth bearing in mind, it is no more than that - an experience. There is no reason why anyone should accept your perception, and dismiss the others I have mentioned. In fact, I can think of several reasons why they should prefer my more objective approach.
> 
> I am sorry that your negative personal experiences have tainted your understanding to the extent they apparently have. There are plenty of idiots who have lost millions of baht as you say. But a fool and his money is easily parted. And fools there are aplenty, in LOS or anywhere else. If they are dumb enough to lose big time financially, then that says a lot to me about their ability to understand human nature wherever they live - ie pretty limited to non-existent.
> 
> I have not bought property in Thailand, have not cured any sick buffalo and never will, so thanks for your concern but worry about yourself first. Anyone with a 'them and us' attitude like yours must be having a terrible time integrating, and usually has had the sort of negative experiences, especially financial, that I will always avoid... unless I go senile or something.



Ok like i said come back and see me in a few years. you talk about how other people say this or that well good luck walking blind hope you don't fall off a cliff.

And for the record i didn't get taken and im not as neg as you might think. I just choose to say the truth and not lie to myself. If you don't think we are dogs in the EYES of a thai then you need to ask one question.

Why do they not let us buy at least one rai of land for the purpose of building a house to live in for the rest of our days. why must it be in the wifes name who 85% of the time will walk away with everything.

Why has the gov just changed the law concerning land to say if a farlong can prove he payed for it the gov will take it away from both him and her. her being the change because before it was profitable to steell from us. After much presure from foreign gov saying what goes on here is criminal. look you will learn the truth sooner or later. the sooner you understand its your money not your looks the better off you will be. 



One last question do you believe she "loves" you for your money or your looks.?
Just say the truth not some explanation money or looks?
ok i make it more easy
money or anything else?
money is everything here its what they dream of all day long.
morality is real low on this toetum pole.
Ive lived in Korea, Japan UAE,Isreal,and many other places i retired at 33. i have never seen anything like here. Make a real interesting study thailand does. Ive not been home in over 20y.
any way lets agree to dis agree and let time sort things out. Ot has a funny way of doing that.


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## Guest

bmeade8 said:


> Ok like i said come back and see me in a few years. you talk about how other people say this or that well good luck walking blind hope you don't fall off a cliff.
> 
> And for the record i didn't get taken and im not as neg as you might think. I just choose to say the truth and not lie to myself. If you don't think we are dogs in the EYES of a thai then you need to ask one question.
> 
> Why do they not let us buy at least one rai of land for the purpose of building a house to live in for the rest of our days. why must it be in the wifes name who 85% of the time will walk away with everything.
> 
> Why has the gov just changed the law concerning land to say if a farlong can prove he payed for it the gov will take it away from both him and her. her being the change because before it was profitable to steell from us. After much presure from foreign gov saying what goes on here is criminal. look you will learn the truth sooner or later. the sooner you understand its your money not your looks the better off you will be.
> 
> One last question do you believe she "loves" you for your money or your looks.?
> Just say the truth not some explanation money or looks?
> ok i make it more easy
> money or anything else?
> money is everything here its what they dream of all day long.
> morality is real low on this toetum pole.
> Ive lived in Korea, Japan UAE,Isreal,and many other places i retired at 33. i have never seen anything like here. Make a real interesting study thailand does. Ive not been home in over 20y.
> any way lets agree to dis agree and let time sort things out. Ot has a funny way of doing that.


I quite agree with the Thai position on land and property ownership. Makes perfect sense to me. And it has absolutely zilch to do with Thais _"thinking we are dogs"_. Good luck to the Thais I say, in preserving their culture, heritage, way of life. They've a lot to mistrust about Western 'civilisation', the longer they can keep it at bay the better.

The wife will _"walk away with everything"_? That's simply not true. Unless the farang is stupid enough to buy before marriage, or without a prenup. And courts are happily awarding a 50/50 split on divorce anyway, where the farang can prove his investment. I've just finished helping a couple through their divorce proceedings where both partners ended up with precisely that - half each.

The recent law change? That's to prevent farangs buying up huge chunks of land as an investment, to make a quick buck, through loopholes in the law; something that has become a big problem in certain coastal areas, and has been in the news a lot recently. Can't blame the Thais for that either. Let's not be paranoid, they're not interested in the guy and his Thai wife living in their sole investment, a condo, or a little 2 mill. house in the depths of Isaan.

_"Morality"_? I'll take the Thai over the Western version, any day. You should read Chuck's post - his comment about American women sums it up perfectly.

_"Money"_? Of course it's about money! That's because it's about survival, and without it, in a country like Thailand with zero social safety net, you die. It's that simple. 

So does she _"love me for my money, or my looks"_? That shows a very simplistic understanding of human nature. Life isn't black and white like that. Other than money and looks there are a whole multitude of other factors involved in a relationship. Empathy, mutual psychological as well as material support, trust, respect, to name just a few. Sexual compatibility. Anyone that believes in some intangible notion of pure love, in any country around the world, is as naive as it gets.


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## Vicente

Bulgakov said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have read in this forum and elsewhere than Thai women prefer to date Thai men and those who dated Farangs were doing so for the money. Is there some of you who think differently?
> 
> I am a new member of an online dating site. As soon as I put a picture, I received many emails from younger Thai women who were interested in me. I am not ugly but I am not Brad Pitt either. They seem very interested by how I describe myself and what I am looking for. Many of those women have a university degree and a good job. I am sure that those beautiful, young and educated women could easily find a Thai man. The fact that they are looking for a foreigner seem to me to prove that the so called negative prejudice against Farang is not widespread as some may think. What is your opinion?
> 
> Bulgakov


Man, I've been today on a trip by BTS(Skytrain) in BKK and there was this cute 18-20 years old Thai girl, looking very shy, only looking at the floor, coming from school or something. Then enters the 50 yo Farang, (by the way, not bad looking) and I could see how she started to look at him, she seemed genuinely interested in the guy. So...?


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## Guest

Now don't get too carried away just yet Vicente, you've only just arrived, plenty of time to find your way about


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## Vicente

frogblogger said:


> Now don't get too carried away just yet Vicente, you've only just arrived, plenty of time to find your way about


That is so true!


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## Guest

Bulgakov said:


> Hi,
> 
> I have read in this forum and elsewhere than Thai women prefer to date Thai men and those who dated Farangs were doing so for the money. Is there some of you who think differently?
> 
> I am a new member of an online dating site. As soon as I put a picture, I received many emails from younger Thai women who were interested in me. I am not ugly but I am not Brad Pitt either. They seem very interested by how I describe myself and what I am looking for. Many of those women have a university degree and a good job. I am sure that those beautiful, young and educated women could easily find a Thai man. The fact that they are looking for a foreigner seem to me to prove that the so called negative prejudice against Farang is not widespread as some may think. What is your opinion?
> 
> Bulgakov


Some young Thai women want to be the man’s last wife and not one of the left behind in between or first wives, so they look for older men, whether Thai or Western. However Western men are considered wealthy and white, and therefore according to Buddhism they must have earned lots of merit in their previous life and must be good men; so they win out over Thai men. All women want your money, that’s the main reason why we go and get some, and having worked for the money, you might as well use it to get the best honey available. Having tried a wide sample of women from all over the world the Thais girls are right up there at the top. Just as anywhere take it real slow and you will soon find out if you have a real relationship or a store bought issue going on – in the east and the west.


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## Bobr

Obviously I ignore the "hello handsome man" stuff from the bar girls, but it is true that Thai women are attracted to western men. I'm 51, in good shape and do not drink or smoke, so I am young for my age. Took a job at a Thai school working with about 50 horny 35 to 50 year old Thai women, many of whom are single and was never on the receiving end of sexual harassment until I worked here. I must admit I LIKE IT!


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## Guest

Bobr said:


> Obviously I ignore the "hello handsome man" stuff from the bar girls, but it is true that Thai women are attracted to western men. I'm 51, in good shape and do not drink or smoke, so I am young for my age. Took a job at a Thai school working with about 50 horny 35 to 50 year old Thai women, many of whom are single and was never on the receiving end of sexual harassment until I worked here. I must admit I LIKE IT!


I work and live all over the place, UK, Norway, USA, Middle East, Singapore, Germany, Thailand etc. In all places except Thailand the girls are miserable and look at you like you are a turd. In Thailand beautiful girls standing outside bars leap out and call you a handsome man and ask where you are going and why won't you stop a while. In the street if you smile at a girl she will smile back. I don't care why they do it, I don't care if they just want money and sex (men have to do all the work). Whatever the reason it is infinitely better than what happens anywhere else I have been.


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## Guest

happy bunny said:


> I work and live all over the place, UK, Norway, USA, Middle East, Singapore, Germany, Thailand etc. In all places except Thailand the girls are miserable and look at you like you are a turd. In Thailand beautiful girls standing outside bars leap out and call you a handsome man and ask where you are going and why won't you stop a while. In the street if you smile at a girl she will smile back. I don't care why they do it, I don't care if they just want money and sex (men have to do all the work). Whatever the reason it is infinitely better than what happens anywhere else I have been.


Not true! I'm back in France, and I get the same treatment! 

(Oh, did I mention I married a Thai girl? )


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## Guest

frogblogger said:


> Not true! I'm back in France, and I get the same treatment!
> 
> (Oh, did I mention I married a Thai girl? )


Actually now you come to mention it the French women do seem to appreciate being admired. I was there on business last year, this stunning French lady attorney wore a transparent dress, a thong and not much of a bra. I thought she was an exception but perhaps not... She was also kind enough to keep walking up to the window so that the light would go right through the dress. Do you think she was doing it deliberately to be sexy? Ah Hem. I also have a Thai wife - very nice.


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## Guest

happy bunny said:


> Actually now you come to mention it the French women do seem to appreciate being admired. I was there on business last year, this stunning French lady attorney wore a transparent dress, a thong and not much of a bra. I thought she was an exception but perhaps not... She was also kind enough to keep walking up to the window so that the light would go right through the dress. Do you think she was doing it deliberately to be sexy? Ah Hem. I also have a Thai wife - very nice.


No you're right, French women do take a lot of trouble over their appearance, and to an extent they have a more traditional outlook on male/female interaction. I could get into trouble for this, but generalising greatly, roles are more clearly divided, even in this day and age. Not to the same extent as in Thailand, and the French ladies certainly don't play a subordinate role, but they take substantial pleasure in the feminine 'difference'. 'Coquettishness' is something that is out of fashion across the English side of the Channel (in my limited experience)... 

My wife remarked shortly after moving here something along those lines, and that French women were often considerably more in shape and carefully made up than other Europeans, and North Americans.

That's been my experience too, and I was in France for twenty years before moving to Thailand... and married two French girls along the way. Unfortunately lost both to accident and illness, otherwise I would definitely still be happily tied up with a French lady. In some ways, when compared to the Anglo Saxon world, vive la différence!


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