# Advice please!



## Lizzie22785 (Jan 13, 2016)

Hi all, after being in a long-distance relationship for nearly 2 years with my Mexican boyfriend (I'm in England) and numerous trips back and forth, I'm planning to move to Mexico in June to be with him permanently. I've thought long and hard about it and feel it's the right decision. The only thing that bothers me is leaving my mum. We're so close, she's my best friend, and I know how much this is going to hurt her which makes me feel so guilty. She won't be alone as she has my dad and my 2 sisters but I'm the baby plus I live with my parents so it's going to be a painful separation. I'd be interested to hear from anybody who had a similar experience and any advice would be greatly appreciated!


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## buzzbar (Feb 9, 2013)

I left friends and family behind, including elderly parents (not that they were living with me tho.) The world is a small place. As long as you get a decent internet connection where you live in Mexico you can Skype your Mum face to face every evening. She can still be your best friend! Instead of a long distance relationship with your boyfriend you can have a long distance relationship with your Mum - you obviously know how to make it work! Email her pics of you lazing in the Mexican sun while she’s in brass monkey weather – she'll love telling her friends about her daughter's exciting adventure. Take away any worry by telling her all the little details of your life over here and showing her how it’s all working out fine. You could remind your Mum that you’ve crossed the Atlantic to Mexico numerous times so if anything serious happened in the family you’re only a plane trip away and can return for an emergency. And put her mind at rest by promising you’ll also jump on a plane if it all goes balls-up in Mexico.


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Lizzie22785 said:


> Hi all, after being in a long-distance relationship for nearly 2 years with my Mexican boyfriend (I'm in England) and numerous trips back and forth, I'm planning to move to Mexico in June to be with him permanently. I've thought long and hard about it and feel it's the right decision. The only thing that bothers me is leaving my mum. We're so close, she's my best friend, and I know how much this is going to hurt her which makes me feel so guilty. She won't be alone as she has my dad and my 2 sisters but I'm the baby plus I live with my parents so it's going to be a painful separation. I'd be interested to hear from anybody who had a similar experience and any advice would be greatly appreciated!


I can't offer you any advice about your particular situation, but, of course, I wish you good luck. Where will you be living in Mexico? Do you have plans for what you will do once you've made the big move, a job, for instance? Once you've settled into life here and feel pretty sure it will be a long-term committment, why not invite your mother and father to come for a visit? That way they will have a better understanding of what your new life is like, and they'll have a fabulous vacation in the bargain!


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## citlali (Mar 4, 2013)

It sounds like you have already made your choice so I do not hink you need advice. You will move away from your mom when you get married anyways.
If you have the money to go and visit and she has as well you can take turn at visiting, that is what I did for the last 45 years but there will be a time when one of you or both will not want to take those awful long flights so then phones calls and e-mails will be it, also if you have kids those trips get pretty expensive so you will have to be happy with skype..Wether you will be happy living that way, you are the only one who can decide.


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## RTL44 (Nov 26, 2013)

Buzzbar's reply was perfect!


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## Carina1008 (Jan 21, 2016)

I went through a similar situation. I met my husband in the states. He is Mexican and I am American. He only had his visa at the time so we decided we would move to Mexico during the paperwork process. I was also very close with my mom and my two younger siblings and for sure one of the toughest decisions I've made, but I realized that I had to create my life and start my own journey. My mom and I speak everyday via skype , phone calls, etc. and it does get better. Now when I visit, I appreciate her more and we have an even stronger bond. If you feel like this is what you need to do, go for it! Just wondering, what city are you moving to?


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## Lizzie22785 (Jan 13, 2016)

buzzbar said:


> I left friends and family behind, including elderly parents (not that they were living with me tho.) The world is a small place. As long as you get a decent internet connection where you live in Mexico you can Skype your Mum face to face every evening. She can still be your best friend! Instead of a long distance relationship with your boyfriend you can have a long distance relationship with your Mum - you obviously know how to make it work! Email her pics of you lazing in the Mexican sun while she?s in brass monkey weather ? she'll love telling her friends about her daughter's exciting adventure. Take away any worry by telling her all the little details of your life over here and showing her how it?s all working out fine. You could remind your Mum that you?ve crossed the Atlantic to Mexico numerous times so if anything serious happened in the family you?re only a plane trip away and can return for an emergency. And put her mind at rest by promising you?ll also jump on a plane if it all goes balls-up in Mexico.


Hi thank you so much for your excellent advice, it was just what I needed to hear!!


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## Lizzie22785 (Jan 13, 2016)

Isla Verde said:


> I can't offer you any advice about your particular situation, but, of course, I wish you good luck. Where will you be living in Mexico? Do you have plans for what you will do once you've made the big move, a job, for instance? Once you've settled into life here and feel pretty sure it will be a long-term committment, why not invite your mother and father to come for a visit? That way they will have a better understanding of what your new life is like, and they'll have a fabulous vacation in the bargain!


Hi, thank you for your response! I'll be living in Mérida and I have a job lined up teaching English in a school, the school are helping me to get the necessary visa  yes I'm hopeful that my mum and dad will come to visit although probably only one time just to check it out as they're not keen on long flights! But you never know


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## Lizzie22785 (Jan 13, 2016)

Carina1008 said:


> I went through a similar situation. I met my husband in the states. He is Mexican and I am American. He only had his visa at the time so we decided we would move to Mexico during the paperwork process. I was also very close with my mom and my two younger siblings and for sure one of the toughest decisions I've made, but I realized that I had to create my life and start my own journey. My mom and I speak everyday via skype , phone calls, etc. and it does get better. Now when I visit, I appreciate her more and we have an even stronger bond. If you feel like this is what you need to do, go for it! Just wondering, what city are you moving to?


Hi Carina, thank you for your message, it's great to hear from somebody who's been through a similar experience and that it sounds like it's been the right decision! I will definitely be in regular contact with my mum and planning to come back to visit every 6 months for the first few years! I'll be living in Mérida, quite far from you I think which is a shame!


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## Raypinciotti (Jan 20, 2016)

Oh Man, Merida.... One of my favorite activities when I was young: I would go visit my now-wife (who is from San Luis Potosi) I would have her skip school and we'd fly to Merida and do what we called "cenote-jumping", we'd just drive from cenote to cenote , we'd swim and take amazing pictures. I'm too old to do that stuff now but if you send pictures of the cenotes, beaches and archaeological sites in that area to your mom, for sure she will visit you a lot.

My wife is very close to her family as well, we have been living in the US but plan on retiring in Mexico this year. I can assure you, for women like you and my wife, being away from Mom is never going to be easy. But you sound young and this is the perfect time for you to experience life. You will want to take care of Mom when she is older. So, take advantage of the fact that she is still surrounded by family and healthy and live your life for a while. In fact, bring your mom over and have a blast and a couple of Margaritas in Playa Progreso!


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## Isla Verde (Oct 19, 2011)

Lizzie22785 said:


> Hi, thank you for your response! I'll be living in Mérida and I have a job lined up teaching English in a school, the school are helping me to get the necessary visa  yes I'm hopeful that my mum and dad will come to visit although probably only one time just to check it out as they're not keen on long flights! But you never know


It sounds as though you have planned well for this new phase of your life. Are you planning to take Spanish classes as well as teach English? Good luck and let us know how things go.


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