# Japanese Wife



## steadyboy

My job will bring me to Dubai at the beginning of October. My wife will join me at the end of the year. Recently I have heard horror stories that because she is Japanese she will generally be viewed on as being a servant or a prostitute!

Can someone reassure me that this is not the case and that I am being told complete nonsense?


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## SBP

Sadly some people might. Is she a lot younger than you, as that seems to be the main reason of peoples misconceptions.

Whatever you do don't take her to Jockey's bar!!!


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## Mr Rossi

My British wife has been propositioned a couple of times, including times with me in the vicinity. Thankfully a rare enough occurance that she's can laugh about it. I don't think it will be any different for your wife unless she's in about 5 or 6 certain bars on her own - which I doubt she will be.


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## Felixtoo2

Unfortunately Steadyboy it is very much the case in many areas of town but you just have to ignore it.


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## pamela0810

There are stereotypes for all nationalities in Dubai Steadyboy. Please do not let that deter you from coming to Dubai or bringing your wife here. Like Mr. Rossi pointed out, unless she's in one of those shady bars all by herself, it is highly unlikely that she will be treated any different from the others. Please keep in mind that there are people from many different countries who live and work here and while there are a few exceptions, this sort of treatment certainly isn't the norm.


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## Felixtoo2

I`m sorry but I have to disagree with you pamela. When i came here it took me 10 minutes o get my blood tests etc done and that was purely because of the colour of my skin they put me ahead of at least 20 other people who had been waiting before me. When My wife went to get her blood done they took two english women ahead of her leaving her and a philipina as the only 2 women to be done in the womens clinic. Then they closed the womens section telling her that the men had priorty and the process ended up taking her 4 hours. Had i been with her and not at work I think you know mthat this would have been somewhat different.


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## BritishGuy

I agree - and I hate to say this, but having lived in the UK and the USA, I've found the UAE to be much more overtly racist than the UK/US. Now before I ruffle any feathers I have to add that it happens everywhere (including the UK and US) - but I guess it's not 'in your face' as much. But with the UAE please correct me if anyone feels otherwise but the pecking order goes something like this:

1) UAE Nationals
2) White European/American/Aussie
3) Other Arab speaking nationalities
4) Others (orientals/hispanics etc)
5) Indian/Pakistanis/Filipinos

While I feel disgusted to have to compile a 'list' of ranking - the reality is that this is how it is here in the UAE. Unfortunately while we'd like to not think it, silently it's how it is. Again, very unfortunate.


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## pamela0810

I agree with both of you, Felix and Britishguy. Perhaps my post was not clear but I was speaking purely from the context of the OP's wife being regarded as a prostitue because she is Asian or Japanese. She is not going to be accosted every place she goes unless she finds herself in one of the shady areas of Dubai...that was the only point I was trying to get across.

Unfortunately, whatever you have said is so very true and while it pains me to see my country at the bottom of Britishguy's list, I have experienced this first hand on quite a few occasions over the past several years. What also needs to be highlighted though is that it is not necessarily the UAE nationals who display this sort of behaviour but a majority of the expats, the newer ones more than those who've been here a while, who have this attitude.


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## Maz25

pamela0810 said:


> What also needs to be highlighted though is that it is not necessarily the UAE nationals who display this sort of behaviour but a majority of the expats, the newer ones more than those who've been here a while, who have this attitude.


You hit the nail on the head. I work in construction and regardless of where you are in the world, women generally have to fight to be heard and respected. I've been in meetings here where the expats have been so incredibly rude that it beggars belief (on the other hand, the poor Emirati guy would sit there looking really embarrassed by their colleague's behaviour!). I work for the Client and one consultant even had the nerve to ask me whether I could not complete some work that I had given him myself. My reply was, "No, I can't but tell you what, I can find your replacement!" He got the message after that! For me, it's been an uphill battle to get the respect that I deserve here and the only way I've survived is because I refuse to put up with all the disrespectful behaviour and fight my corner! Even my boss recently told me that he has noticed that the men do not dare stand up to me anymore since I've found my voice and refused to put up with crap!

In response to the original query, I'm afraid that almost every woman in the UAE has been propositioned at some point. That's just the way some people are and their narrowmindedness simple prevents them from seeing that women are not necessarily as shady as the thoughts going round in their perverted little mind! Yes, there are prostitutes here and a lot of them are unfortunately Asians, who are disadvantaged or worse still being forced into this business but that does not mean to say that every Asian woman in a prostitute - sadly most perverts seem to think so!
I've been propositioned at the car wash (and I'm not Asian)!!!! The guy could not even understand why I was fuming and calling him an absolutely disgusting pervert!!


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## cami

BritishGuy said:


> I agree - and I hate to say this, but having lived in the UK and the USA, I've found the UAE to be much more overtly racist than the UK/US. Now before I ruffle any feathers I have to add that it happens everywhere (including the UK and US) - but I guess it's not 'in your face' as much. But with the UAE please correct me if anyone feels otherwise but the pecking order goes something like this:
> 
> 1) UAE Nationals
> 2) White European/American/Aussie
> 3) Other Arab speaking nationalities
> 4) Others (orientals/hispanics etc)
> 5) Indian/Pakistanis/Filipinos
> 
> While I feel disgusted to have to compile a 'list' of ranking - the reality is that this is how it is here in the UAE. Unfortunately while we'd like to not think it, silently it's how it is. Again, very unfortunate.



Am smiling here .. I think you forgot that there is East Europe and West Europe, and generally East European females are considered to be here for the sole purpose of making every man happy, irrespective of nationality (although I must say I've never had "close encounters" with a lot of Asian men , possibly because I'm much taller than most of them ). 

I was propositioned while in job interviews, going out on my own, or with other female friends, and gee, I'm not that young anymore. The last I heard was an offer to fly to Doha, all expenses covered, and "try different things." Quote from a Western guy whose nationality I won't mention here. . I almost liked him, but darn! he opened his mouth LOL

I'd say the Japanese wife should really take care whom she keeps company with and where she's going. Men are not aggressive here in the physical sense, but occasionally some idiot may say the wrong thing and ruin her night out.


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## BritishGuy

No way Cami - in an interview? Hahahah! I can see how that one went.... "Tell me about a time when..... on second thoughts, what you doing tonight..?


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## cami

BritishGuy said:


> No way Cami - in an interview? Hahahah! I can see how that one went.... "Tell me about a time when..... on second thoughts, what you doing tonight..?


nah... was much more "subtle"... on discussing the salary, he went, ".. plus 2,000 a month for personal services." i said, "what personal services?" "well," he went on, "you need to be available when i need female company." i said, "i don't think im qualified for those services," he went, "thats allright, you dont really need to do anything, ill do everything." i stood up and said, "sorry, i really need to check the name on the door, i think i missed the MAJOR JERKASS title." his jaw literally dropped, and on that note i spinned around and made a most triumphant exit. managed to reach the loo on that floor and burst out crying. it happened some four years ago. it was my fifth job interview, and two weeks passed before i tried to get hired again. i talked about this with a lot of people, and invariably, the idea was, "it's because you're east european."

after that, i only chose to go to interviews where i could talk to females. water under the bridge now  im quite happy with my job and workmates :clap2:

i must say i've developed a very complex set of defence skills meanwhile :boxing:

just joking  men always try, don't they?


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## Maz25

cami said:


> nah... was much more "subtle"... on discussing the salary, he went, ".. plus 2,000 a month for personal services." i said, "what personal services?" "well," he went on, "you need to be available when i need female company." i said, "i don't think im qualified for those services," he went, "thats allright, you dont really need to do anything, ill do everything." i stood up and said, "sorry, i really need to check the name on the door, i think i missed the MAJOR JERKASS title." his jaw literally dropped, and on that note i spinned around and made a most triumphant exit. managed to reach the loo on that floor and burst out crying. it happened some four years ago. it was my fifth job interview, and two weeks passed before i tried to get hired again. i talked about this with a lot of people, and invariably, the idea was, "it's because you're east european."
> 
> after that, i only chose to go to interviews where i could talk to females. water under the bridge now  im quite happy with my job and workmates :clap2:
> 
> i must say i've developed a very complex set of defence skills meanwhile :boxing:
> 
> just joking  men always try, don't they?


Lol, that made me laugh! You'd really have to have some nerve to try and include 'personal services" in someone's contract!

My colleague told me about his mate's wife who was interviewing a maid. They were discussing salary and the maid boldly asked about "headache money". The poor woman was slightly confused and asked the maid to explain what that was. The reply was "For when Madam has a headache, I keep Sir happy!" The lady was not very impressed and showed her the door! Apparently, her previous employer paid her headache money so poor thing thought that it was normal!!


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## pamela0810

Maz25 said:


> Lol, that made me laugh! You'd really have to have some nerve to try and include 'personal services" in someone's contract!
> 
> My colleague told me about his mate's wife who was interviewing a maid. They were discussing salary and the maid boldly asked about "headache money". The poor woman was slightly confused and asked the maid to explain what that was. The reply was "For when Madam has a headache, I keep Sir happy!" The lady was not very impressed and showed her the door! Apparently, her previous employer paid her headache money so poor thing thought that it was normal!!


OMG!!! I'm in shock! At first I thought, she's probably asking for sick leave allowance or something similar...geez!


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## Maz25

pamela0810 said:


> OMG!!! I'm in shock! At first I thought, she's probably asking for sick leave allowance or something similar...geez!


That would have been my first thought as well if someone asked me for 'headache money'! It's both shocking and sad to see the abuse of some people and the way that they have been brainwashed to think that it's actually normal and acceptable.


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## newbie913

BritishGuy said:


> I agree - and I hate to say this, but having lived in the UK and the USA, I've found the UAE to be much more overtly racist than the UK/US. Now before I ruffle any feathers I have to add that it happens everywhere (including the UK and US) - but I guess it's not 'in your face' as much. But with the UAE please correct me if anyone feels otherwise but the pecking order goes something like this:
> 
> 1) UAE Nationals
> 2) White European/American/Aussie
> 3) Other Arab speaking nationalities
> 4) Others (orientals/hispanics etc)
> 5) Indian/Pakistanis/Filipinos
> 
> While I feel disgusted to have to compile a 'list' of ranking - the reality is that this is how it is here in the UAE. Unfortunately while we'd like to not think it, silently it's how it is. Again, very unfortunate.


I agree with you. Having lived in the UK for the last 6 years and having had no problems/racism shown towards for being brown, its rather different over here. Its not overt atleast towards me, but when i go out for a meal with other brown people, we get very different treatment as compared to when i am out with my bf just because he is white. I cannot figure out the reason for it, and it makes me very annoyed...!! but it is just one of the things u tend to have to accept over here!


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## steadyboy

Thankyou one and all for your input, it has given me a lot of food for thought. Though my wife could probably shrug off such a proposition I think I might not if I were to hear it. Is it likely that I would be jailed for any physical response to such a proposition?


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## SBP

Yep and deported


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## pamela0810

steadyboy said:


> Thankyou one and all for your input, it has given me a lot of food for thought. Though my wife could probably shrug off such a proposition I think I might not if I were to hear it. Is it likely that I would be jailed for any physical response to such a proposition?


How bad can it get? A guy propositions your wife and you end up punching him in the face, is that it? Fights happen all the time out here, you were defending your wife. It's not as bad as some people make it out to be. Just because you punch a guy for crossing the line with your wife does not mean you will be deported. It all depends on the severity of the situation. 
There are fights outside bars here all the time, those same people get pulled over by the cops and are right back at the bar the next weekend. How do I know this??? Because I've seen it happen in front of me and I know people who've been there and done that!


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## Maz25

steadyboy said:


> Thankyou one and all for your input, it has given me a lot of food for thought. Though my wife could probably shrug off such a proposition I think I might not if I were to hear it. Is it likely that I would be jailed for any physical response to such a proposition?


It is not a wise idea for you to physically retaliate. It's honourable that you want to defend your wife but the consequences of your actions make physical violence absolutely not worth it. 
As women, we have to put up with perverts all the time, especially in this place where many seem to think that sexual harassment is acceptable. Physical violence will only encourage a perv (especially if he is drunk) and you will end up paying the price just for stepping up to protect your wife's honour. Easier just to insult them and walk away! Most pervs seem to get stunned by a barrage of insult and for the most part, they run off.

Push comes to shove, just call the police. I do believe that harassing a woman can also land you in jail.


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## pamela0810

Maz25 said:


> It is not a wise idea for you to physically retaliate. It's honourable that you want to defend your wife but the consequences of your actions make physical violence absolutely not worth it.
> As women, we have to put it with perverts all the time, especially in this place where many seem to think that sexual harassment is acceptable. Physical violence will only encourage a perv (especially if he is drunk) and you will end up paying the price just for stepping up to protect your wife's honour. Easier just to insult them and walk away!
> 
> Push comes to shove, just call the police. I do believe that harassing a woman can also land you in jail.



I agree with Maz. It's easier for your wife to just calmly say that they'll call the cops on them rather than you getting into you a physical altercation with the perpetrator, whoever he may be.
Maz, I'm still trying to get over the "headache money" post!


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## Maz25

pamela0810 said:


> Maz, I'm still trying to get over the "headache money" post!


I was also quite shocked when my colleague told me and for a minute, I thought he was just joking...unfortunately, he was very serious!


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## Shekamu

The UAE is full of perverts of all nationalities and it has nothing to do with your wife's nationality or race whether somebody speaks to her inappropriately etc.

As other people mentioned, it may depend on where she is, at what time and what she's wearing.

I'm Emirati and have experienced this with differing nationalities - mainly from the GCC states and Pakistan.

Even if you wear a black abaya, you could still be a 'Moroccan' prostitute. Sorry to say but 'Maghrebiyya' or "Moroccan woman" is almost a synonym for prostitute in the UAE, as a small (or perhaps relatively large) number of them dress the same way as Emiratis and even copy the Emirati Arabic accent but are willing to be paid for services.

I was offered a ride in an AD Nissan Patrol packed full of guys as I was leaving a wedding late at night at a hotel and was waiting for the car valet. Who else wears a lot of make up with a bling-ish abaya and waits outside a hotel at 1 am?

Unfortunately, some guys have the mentality that even if you aren't for 'service', you're "asking for it" if you put yourself in such a situation.

Then there are creeps like some drunk Saudi who kept repeating his room number in the Holiday Inn as I was standing next to the clown outside McDonalds when I was 13 years old! Guess that's still better than the poor boy who was molested behind the igloo at Ski Dubai.


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