# Unmasking



## Nightwing

I am on the autism spectrum. Most people do not the full extent of the struggles that come with autism. my whole life, I've been told that everything I do is wrong. People with autism learn to do something called masking, which means to learn how to behave and act the way others expect of us. This is often necessary to succeed at school as a child and to secure and keep employment as an adult; so it is basically a skill necessary to survive. But it is extremely exhausting and takes a heavy toll on a person's mental and physical health. 

If you are asking what any of this has to do with an expat forum, it is this: when I was an expat, I found that the social expectations were not as intense. In many situations, people chalked up my odd quirks to being a foreigner. As a result, I was cut slack in social situation more often than I am back home. 

But I still struggle with much. I completed my TESOL in 2015, and was very interested in teaching English abroad. But I was struggling with mental health problems, and I was scared of losing my employer and sponsorship once that became apparent. Also, because I struggle with social isolation, I was afraid that would be even worse in foreign country where I didn't speak the local language. 

My mental health problem got much worse in the years following my graduation from college. I struggled to find employment because of my autism, and because my family is abroad I had no support system. I ended up unemployed and homeless. Studies found that 85% of college graduates on the spectrum are unemployed or employed far below our qualification levels. My experiences with looking for jobs in the past were so bad that it now causes me a lot of anxiety. 

I feel like I'm at a dead end in the States. I have been through unemployment and cyclical homelessness, and when I am employed it always in low-paying high-turnover job. I have not had any social interactions outside of work, and have not been in a relationship in over a decade. I feel desperate to find a new start. I know there is no guarantee that I'd fair better somewhere else, but things can't be worse. Or at least I can always return home if it doesn't work out.


----------



## Bevdeforges

You're absolutely right about being cut considerable slack as an expat, just due to your "foreignness" - you don't need to be autistic to appreciate that side of "life overseas." 

One thing you need to consider, though, is that each country seems to have its own approach, not only to autism, but also to mental health. You say that your family is "overseas" by which I take it they are not in the US. I suppose your first option might be to explore the countries where you have family members to see what is available for people with your particular issues. Some health systems deal differently with mental health issues - we've had potential expats here asking about specific medications and if they are available in this country or that. In many places, the answer may be that the country treats the conditions differently - with a different drug or behaviorally rather than with medication. And of course there is always the question whether or not the national health service covers the specific services you need or are used to.

It's not an easy decision - but I admire your courage in pursuing the expat option. The first step is that of researching what you're considering and taking a few first steps - like perhaps considering a different state before you try moving abroad. Quite a few states in the US have severe teacher shortages and might have ways to finish off your qualifications without the expensive tests or with support from the school that would hire you.


----------



## Nightwing

The only country I have family in is Libya, and I really don't want to go there with how things are.

I moved to Ohio some years ago, but things didn't work out. I'm just tired of the US in general. I'm tired of all the insane politics; with the Right wanting to overthrow the government to establish a theocratic dictatorship, and the Left's unhealthy obsession with dehumanizing identity politics. I'm tired of not being able to see a doctor when I need to. I'm tired of the obsession with guns and being constantly scared the next random mass shooting will be at my place of work. I'm tired of the inadequate and useless public transit system. I'm tired of the obsession with the military and glorifying war. I'm tired of the constant inflation in cost of living while wages remain stagnant. I'm tired of education getting neglected. I just want out.


----------



## Bevdeforges

I think you'll find lots of folks here in the forums who can understand your feelings pretty well. Though it still helps if you are running to someplace or something you want rather than trying to get away from something you don't like or want. Certain problems tend to be universal (like the constant inflation while wages remain stagnant - a particular issue in many countries where teacher salaries tend to be pretty low).

Have you considered looking into teaching positions in Canada? They have plenty of immigrants, so your language skills might come in real handy in connection with your teaching credential? Canada is a bit less of a "culture shock" and has an excellent reputation for somewhere to live. We've got a Canadian section here where you might be able to get some information and ideas for what is possible.


----------



## Nightwing

I know that running away from something is not a good strategy. I am disillusioned and tired of America. But I did grow up as an expat and would really like to travel and see more of the world. My anxiety problems aside, I really am excited at the prospect of traveling and seeing other countries. 

I've thought about Canada. But from I could gleam, it seemed that Canada is one of those Western countries to which it is difficult for Americans to get residence without a lot of money or a highly sought after skill set like engineering. But I'll look into opportunities that my master's might qualify me for.

I really do wish going back to Libya was more of a simple matter. But my sister and her husband have thought about leaving but couldn't because the poor economy makes their assets worthless. And I don't want to fall into that trap. I've thought about going to Dubai or Qatar, where I could at least save up for a few years. When I was in Poland, an expat suggested Oman, which had not been on my radar. But I've heard depressing things about how minorities and poor people are treated in Gulf countries. One place I thought about a lot is Turkey. I like the idea of being close enough to affordably travel to European countries on my vacations and participate in programs like Angloville again. I've also thought about Egypt, but I haven't been there since the Arab Spring started and I have no idea what's going on there anymore.


----------



## Bevdeforges

For the Middle Eastern countries you've mentioned, I would think you'd want to do some tourist travel there first to be able to scope out the "atmosphere" of the places. But if you're strapped for funds that may not be a practical idea.

While it may be true about most Americans looking to migrate to Canada, you've got some specific training and skills that could be of interest there - namely the special ed training (and experience) and your language skills, which would definitely be of interest in an area where there were significant populations of Middle Eastern expats/refugees. 

Then, too, we do have a section here in the forum devoted to the Middle East and North Africa. You might get some insight and suggestions by inquiring there about the specific countries you've mentioned. (Probably not Libya - though I doubt that's a practical option at the moment. <g>)


----------

