# Lesson living with Family



## Danman (Mar 23, 2016)

Since my partner came back from working overseas about five months ago we have been living with her parents in their house, the house is on a half acre of land which other family members live on as well (very close), anyway all was good for awhile but being a foreigner it is not good living so close to family as I have experienced. The father of my partner is 72 but drinks everyday and gets that drunk sometimes someone has to carry him home. Even though he is 72 he has a bad temper when drunk and if something is said that he does not agree with he will get violent, as I have seen him have an argument with a family member come home to grab a knife with the intent to stab that person he is arguing with, but thank goodness someone stops him in time. Because all these family members live so close they fight a lot so you have to stay clear when they are drinking and they drink a lot, as they maybe friendly at first but after when they are drunk all h*ll can break out. We are now moving into our own house. I am sure many foreigners have such experiences, it never pays to live to close to family


----------



## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

Normal bad behavior, there's not much to do here, most work labor jobs if that and hard liquor such as Lambanog (made from coconuts) or the various 1 liter bottles of Brandy about 120 peso 1 liter bottle, it's dirt cheap and I'll bet many of your in-laws/neighbors smoke cigarettes? A 5 liter plastic bottle of Lambanog will set you back about 180 pesos or about $4 US dollars, they also sell out of the mom and pop sari sari stores by the gatang or 20 peso bag, this is the main drink in our region, it's sold on the highways, same liquor sold in the US, a 1 liter bottle with two shot glasses sold as a package for about $25.

It's not just the In-laws it's the neighbors also, unless you live in a private neighborhood, drinking will be an issue at your new home. Our neighborhood ... they drink nearly every single day and when they get drunk the voices get louder, that's about the time we lock our gates because next they'll get real hungry, they don't have much money for food so hardly any food and what they do have has been cooked hours ago or the day before and they've already eaten it, so very little food with those hard drinks and they can drink for hours and they sure get hungry, so best to lock those doors also.

Gates are a must and even gates to the entrance of doors, I have both and I still got breached twice, once a guy just walked into our bedroom, surprise he wanted money another time several women walked into our bedroom, me and my wife were in bed but it didn't' seem to bother them, they wanted food and drinks. The gates do help though, it keeps traffic down to a minimum while you close that door.


----------



## Danman (Mar 23, 2016)

So many filipinos here have children who are OFW so they wait for money to be sent, they mostly drink San Mig Gin or MP (brandy) both are very cheap but do they wipe themselves out daily and sometimes they rent out a videoke which goes from early in the day till late at night. Yes you are right M.C.A the more they drink the louder their voices get, but the one thing that always gets me is when the family drinks here the males just pee anywhere like dogs haha I said to my partner why in the <Snip> dont they use the toilet.

I know what you are talking about when you said you had people coming inside your house the same used to happen here they would be drunk and just come inside and demand things, so I bought a German Shepherd dog the size of my dog and when it barks scares the <Snip> out of them but I had to build an area that was fenced and a cage for my dog to lock her up of a night for her protection, as my partner told me when a filipino feels threatened by a dog they will try to kill it by throwing meat that is poisoned, we have seen dogs die this way, life in the Philippines is a real eye opener haha


----------



## Rogdas (Apr 9, 2015)

Danman said:


> Since my partner came back from working overseas about five months ago we have been living with her parents in their house, the house is on a half acre of land which other family members live on as well (very close), anyway all was good for awhile but being a foreigner it is not good living so close to family as I have experienced. The father of my partner is 72 but drinks everyday and gets that drunk sometimes someone has to carry him home. Even though he is 72 he has a bad temper when drunk and if something is said that he does not agree with he will get violent, as I have seen him have an argument with a family member come home to grab a knife with the intent to stab that person he is arguing with, but thank goodness someone stops him in time. Because all these family members live so close they fight a lot so you have to stay clear when they are drinking and they drink a lot, as they maybe friendly at first but after when they are drunk all h*ll can break out. We are now moving into our own house. I am sure many foreigners have such experiences, it never pays to live to close to family


 Hope you don't start drinking with them. It would be costly and dangerous for your life in more ways then one. Best thing would to stay as far away as possible when there drinking and don't let them in your house. 
Luckily my wife only has one sister and one brother around us and neither drink. Are entertainment is a drunk neighbor who gets kicked out of his house about once a week by his wife she always lets him back in the next morning.


----------



## Rebaqshratz (May 15, 2016)

*Family*

On the other hand...My wife's family is very close. They are dedicated to each other and to Christ...The most I have seen is an adult have 1 or 2 San Miguel...This family accepted me into their family without hesitation. Karaoke is away of life. The range is from outstanding to "oh boy" but I enjoy the family enjoying themselves when they celebrate whatever event is current. They live to help each other. I am blessed to be part of this family. Hard workers who are happy helping each other.

My 2 cents worth. God Bless and good luck.


----------



## SublationUSAF (May 29, 2014)

My wife's family isn't very religious but they are good people. There were never any drinking problems or big fights. Some bickering here and there but nothing huge. 

I don't think anything is a certainty, good or bad. Visit for a month or more before deciding to move in. You'll know if there will be problems or not.


----------



## simonsays (Feb 11, 2009)

Danman said:


> Since my partner came back from working overseas about five months ago we have been living with her parents in their house, the house is on a half acre of land which other family members live on as well (very close), anyway all was good for awhile but being a foreigner it is not good living so close to family as I have experienced. The father of my partner is 72 but drinks everyday and gets that drunk sometimes someone has to carry him home. Even though he is 72 he has a bad temper when drunk and if something is said that he does not agree with he will get violent, as I have seen him have an argument with a family member come home to grab a knife with the intent to stab that person he is arguing with, but thank goodness someone stops him in time. Because all these family members live so close they fight a lot so you have to stay clear when they are drinking and they drink a lot, as they maybe friendly at first but after when they are drunk all h*ll can break out. We are now moving into our own house. I am sure many foreigners have such experiences, it never pays to live to close to family


None of my relatives drink to get drunk:  And of course, they drink once in a while, but never on a daily or weekly basis.

Thanks God for that.

PS, you can't get a wife from INC ? INC forbids drinking  But you also have to give 10% of your salary/pension and what not, so the pastor can continue to fly in his 737 or 330 private jet, to spread the word of God.


----------



## galactic (Dec 2, 2014)

Most, if not all, Pinoys can NOT hold their alcohol down.

They also borrow some kind of inner strength, morals and courage by getting drunk. 

Try to talk and confront them about their actuations when their sober and they become sheep until the next binge when they are direwolves again.


----------



## galactic (Dec 2, 2014)

simonsays said:


> None of my relatives drink to get drunk:  And of course, they drink once in a while, but never on a daily or weekly basis.
> 
> Thanks God for that.
> 
> PS, you can't get a wife from INC ? INC forbids drinking  But you also have to give 10% of your salary/pension and what not, so the pastor can continue to fly in his 737 or 330 private jet, to spread the word of God.


I have a neighbor who is INC fanatic only on worship days 
On most days he gambles, drink alcohol and eat dinuguan (swine blood stew) :eyebrows:
I guess as long as the congregation does not know it, then he's good to go.


----------



## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

galactic said:


> I have a neighbor who is INC fanatic only on worship days
> On most days he gambles, drink alcohol and eat dinuguan (swine blood stew) :eyebrows:
> I guess as long as the congregation does not know it, then he's good to go.


Sounds like a lot of the Jack-Mormoms in Az that I knew. Also sounds like most of the practicing Catholics here.

Fred


----------



## Gary D (Oct 28, 2013)

galactic said:


> Most, if not all, Pinoys can NOT hold their alcohol down.
> 
> They also borrow some kind of inner strength, morals and courage by getting drunk.
> 
> Try to talk and confront them about their actuations when their sober and they become sheep until the next binge when they are direwolves again.


Many asians have a missing gene which prevents them from breaking down the alcohol. They with get very drunk on a couple of glasses of beer.


----------



## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

Gary D said:


> Many asians have a missing gene which prevents them from breaking down the alcohol. They with get very drunk on a couple of glasses of beer.


Good point. However, where we live that *couple* of beers equates a couple of cases and a half dozen bottles of Emperidor Brandy. They don't drink for social enjoyment. They drink to get fall down-pass out drunk. I don't see how they avoid alcohol poisoning and the cemetery, but every place I have been, it seems to start at a young age and continues through life. Photo~kind hearted pun intended..


----------



## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

They drink very hard here and I can't hang... I'll black out so I avoid the Lambanog (hard liquor made from coconuts) or nasty Brandy and even the Malt Liquor such as Colt 45 is too much for m ... ugh I do like the San Mig Light every blue moon, also can't stand the regular San Miguel it's bitter or strong about as bad as Colt 45. My neighbors and in-laws can drink for hours and they don't look drunk at all. In-laws are drinking Lambanog right now down stairs, I cooked BBQ, couldn't find Mig Light so had to settle for Colt 45.


----------



## fmartin_gila (May 15, 2011)

They seem to feel slighted and get somewhat indignant when I refuse to drink with them. I am a "Recovering Alcoholic" who has been Clean & Sober for 37 years now and I WILL NOT GO BACK THERE. If I try to explain, they somehow fail to understand and somehow cannot comprehend how I feel, especially if they have already had a few. I just have to stand for what I feel and not go to that level. I will sip a Sprite or something and if that does not sit well then it is time to depart the present company.

Fred


----------



## Asian Spirit (Mar 1, 2010)

fmartin_gila said:


> They seem to feel slighted and get somewhat indignant when I refuse to drink with them. I am a "Recovering Alcoholic" who has been Clean & Sober for 37 years now and I WILL NOT GO BACK THERE. If I try to explain, they somehow fail to understand and somehow cannot comprehend how I feel, especially if they have already had a few. I just have to stand for what I feel and not go to that level. I will sip a Sprite or something and if that does not sit well then it is time to depart the present company.
> 
> Fred


Yep, I get the same invites and treatment when walking down the street. Too bad they can't or won't understand - but that is definitely their problem.
You are making the right choice. *Stand for what is right; even if you stand alone..*

Jet Lag


----------



## M.C.A. (Feb 24, 2013)

*No shot (tagay) please!*



fmartin_gila said:


> They seem to feel slighted and get somewhat indignant when I refuse to drink with them. I am a "Recovering Alcoholic" who has been Clean & Sober for 37 years now and I WILL NOT GO BACK THERE. If I try to explain, they somehow fail to understand and somehow cannot comprehend how I feel, especially if they have already had a few. I just have to stand for what I feel and not go to that level. I will sip a Sprite or something and if that does not sit well then it is time to depart the present company.
> 
> Fred


Same here Fred and Jet, it's useless to explain and I think I've lost a few neighbors do to this, my cousin in-law who works for the Barangay and is across the street after I told him in January that I would like to focus on my family and grand kids now and not so much on drinking and he said... well what will our relationship be? Lol, man I had no answer it's like what can you say, so I say nothing now. 

It also seems harder on my mental health to keep drinking, so now that I've slowed down considerably, I have extra money, and the begging of a savings, I use that to better our lives, improve our car, I bought another desk top, we seem to have more money now, I'm no longer Santa Clause, this after they keep overfilling my shots, I guess that is what it's all about, get you drunk and then you buy food and more booze, been there done that, not anymore.


----------

