# Should I be panicking about my daughter?



## Joanna2020 (5 mo ago)

I am the mother of a 19 year old daughter. We are British and live in the U.K. I do not have experience of Egypt and so I am seeking some perspectives from people who know Egypt well, as their home country or as ex-pats. I’ll explain the situation before asking my question.

My daughter has been on a gap year after finishing school. She is due to go to university in October 2022 in London to study Economics.

Over the last 18 months she has had an Egyptian boyfriend who she met online via a school friend who had lived in Cairo. The boyfriend was studying in Europe. She went Cairo to stay with his family and had a wonderful time but the relationship broke up. She has a huge following and friends on social media in Egypt and has fallen in love with Cairo (and I can see why; it looks fascinating). However the social media world is a concern as all is not necessarily as it seems, though she doesn’t accept this.
She saved money from her gap year job and returned to Cairo in early August 2022 for a holiday. She booked herself an AirBnB and was clearly having a great time with a lot of friends. However a contact of mine living in New Cairo got in touch last week to say that our daughter had married (unofficial marriage) and that it was to a man from a “bad area”. She shared pictures of our daughter’s marriage with a young man who I recognise from social media. It’s hard to tell if the photo is a marriage photo. Our daughter delayed coming home and our friend urged us to get her out of Cairo for her safety. We managed to get her a flight home with some excuse about the urgen need for her return and she didn’t protest about returning to the U.K.
Our daughter arrived back in the U.K. a few days ago and now says she does not want to take up her U.K. university place and wants to return to Egypt to go to the British University or even just to live. She is telling us she would live in a good part of Cairo but has told our Egyptian friend (who she shares more with than she does us) that she will return to live with her “husband” in his area (Kormala, Belbes, Sharqia). She has not told us about her unofficial marriage and says that she does not have a boyfriend, only lots of friends. Her “husband” is described by her as one of her friends who is a student.
We are very, very worried. We don’t know whether our Egyptian friend is panicking unnecessarily as she is quite wealthy and dismissive of many who are less so. On the other hand an “unofficial marriage” is really concerning as is the lack of clarity we have about what she is getting into. Is this a meaningless ceremony among jokey students or something more sinister? There are many stories of western women getting into real trouble but we don’t know if the world has move on in Egypt and we are being ignorant (as our daughter tells us we are). She doesn’t know that we know about the marriage. She says we either support her (help fund it!) or we don’t but whatever we do she will go to live in Cairo and if we don’t support her she will cut us off for good. When we raise concerns she tells us we are clueless about modern Egypt which is true. She is headstrong and officially an adult so we can’t stop her I guess.
I would really appreciate the views of people here. I am sick with worry and I don’t know what to think. When we raise concerns she tells us we are clueless about modern Egypt which may be true which is why your perspectives and knowledge would be so helpful. Sorry this is so long and garbled.


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## hurghadapat (Mar 26, 2010)

Joanna2020 said:


> I am the mother of a 19 year old daughter. We are British and live in the U.K. I do not have experience of Egypt and so I am seeking some perspectives from people who know Egypt well, as their home country or as ex-pats. I’ll explain the situation before asking my question.
> 
> My daughter has been on a gap year after finishing school. She is due to go to university in October 2022 in London to study Economics.
> 
> ...




Well for a start no decent Egyptian male would enter into an orfi marriage which is just a piece of paper that allows them to live together...it is commony known as the F**K paper. In my honest opinion if your Egyptian friend is panicking then so should you be as they know their own better than anyone.No way has Egypt moved on in fact it is going backwards and i'm sure your Egyptian friend will agree with me...she is living in a third world country which is also a police state....believe me i could write a book of things that i saw happen whilst I was living there,but also I had many friend who were also married quite happily to Egyptians. She is young and the Egyptian males are very smooth talking and will promise you the earth,sun,moon and stars...until you are oficially married then it can become a whole different ball game.


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## Mate91 (5 mo ago)

Joanna2020 said:


> I am the mother of a 19 year old daughter. We are British and live in the U.K. I do not have experience of Egypt and so I am seeking some perspectives from people who know Egypt well, as their home country or as ex-pats. I’ll explain the situation before asking my question.
> 
> My daughter has been on a gap year after finishing school. She is due to go to university in October 2022 in London to study Economics.
> 
> ...


I agree with *hurghadapat*
You should follow your motherhood instances. The fact that she was brain washed to leave everything behind and moving to Egypt is alarming and scary. Please do whatever you can to keep her safe and out of trouble. If needed, go and live with her in Egypt until she sees everything clearly again, but don't let her go by her own. Boys will be so smooth talkers, signing that unofficial marriage to only gain her trust and becomes easier for them to have sex with her, sorry for that but its the truth 
I pray for God to keep her safe.


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